Mother's Day Felt Different for Everyone!

[00:00:00] We were having a conversation early today after Mother's Day and one of our friends brought up something important and it really touched me. I felt it. I felt it deeply because some women were still carrying the warmth of the weekend. The flowers, the hugs, the little voices saying Happy Mother's Day.

[00:00:24] The little hugs from the children, our babies that can't even speak yet. And the feeling of being loved, celebrated and deeply appreciated. And then there were other women quietly sharing something very different. That while everyone else seemed to be celebrating, they were walking into this week feeling more of the ache.

[00:00:53] The cut, the bruise, the grief, the emptiness, the longing. And I remember thinking how important it is that we make space for all of it. We just had a very special Mother's Day episode.

[00:01:12] And after this conversation, I said, we have to talk about this. We have to talk about this because so many women in our community here, our listeners, they can relate. Because Mother's Day doesn't feel the same for every woman. There's different seasons. For some, it feels like a beautiful answered prayer.

[00:01:42] And for some, it feels like a beautiful prayer. And for some, they're still waiting for prayers to answer. For others, it gently touches places in the heart that are still healing. And I think both deserve to be acknowledged with tenderness. Because motherhood carries so many different stories. It really does. There are women holding babies they prayed. They prayed years for.

[00:02:11] Women still praying for the babies they haven't, they haven't held yet. Women grieving miscarriages. No one else fully saw. They haven't even shared the stories. These are just inside their hearts. These heartbreaks. Women carrying the loss of a child. Young child, teenager.

[00:02:40] Whatever age they're carrying that loss. Stepmothers quietly loving children every day, while often feeling forgotten, left out. Not acknowledged. Mothers celebrating beautiful families. While privately grieving the loss of their own mother at the very same time.

[00:03:05] And somewhere, somewhere inside of it all, there are women doing their best to hold both gratitude and grief in the same heart. And I am, I understand some of those, those stories and those feelings that we talked about. And many of you listening understand those feelings more than many people realize.

[00:03:34] So get comfortable. We're about to have, we're about to have a conversation that I hope in the end feels like a warm hug. Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:04:03] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:04:33] Hello my friends and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversation bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parent Podcast. A community of strong families building unshakeable legacies. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. And today I simply want this episode to feel, to feel like a gentle conversation.

[00:05:02] I want it to feel like a warm embrace for the women celebrating and the women grieving. The women waiting and the women remembering. The women taking care of their loved one while raising their babies, their own mother.

[00:05:28] And the women quietly carrying emotions they haven't fully put into words yet. Because sometimes holidays have a way of bringing everything closer to the surface. They sure do. The beauty, the gratitude, the memories, the longing, the love.

[00:05:50] And I think there's something very powerful about acknowledging that in an honest way. Talking about it. You know, I spent many Mother's Days praying. Praying through heartbreak. Praying through waiting. Praying through uncertainty.

[00:06:18] Wondering, just, just wondering if I would ever hold the babies I dreamt about all my life. And now, when I look at my children, there are moments Motherhood feels almost heavenly to me. Because I waited so long. And now, I don't know if I was a child. But, I mean, I was a very young girl. I was a young man.

[00:06:47] Motherhood is not always perfect. It's, it's, it's, it's not easy every moment. But, it's deeply precious because, because, I remember. I remember what it felt like longing for it. and at that very same time there was another side of Mother's Day that still hurts quietly for me too

[00:07:16] the part where I wish I could pick up the phone and call my mother I didn't expect that to come up not just on Mother's Day but every day even now she's still saved in my favorites

[00:07:46] sometimes I still think about calling her and I know this is kind of embarrassing and silly to say but when I was having this conversation earlier and I was connecting with someone that had also lost their mother they confess that they still call their mother and I still sometimes do sometimes I leave a message

[00:08:16] and we're talking about you know maybe it's time that we and it's hard to say but maybe maybe it's time to to disconnect the number maybe it's time to disconnect the number but I never ever imagined that there was someone else that kept that phone line alive

[00:08:48] just to text their their mom or leave a message grief is so funny it's so funny because there's so many different things that that different people do and maybe that sounds strange to some people or maybe it sounds very relatable like it did today it was that moment of oh my goodness you too but grief doesn't

[00:09:17] it doesn't always move in straight lines it doesn't okay so things don't have to make sense because when when someone you love deeply part of your heart never fully stops reaching for them especially when you are so close and there's just this different relationship

[00:09:48] that daughters have with their mothers and I know I know I'm not the only woman caring that or feeling this week there's so many different stories so many different women out there feeling different things different things that bubbled up over the weekend I think one of the most emotional parts of motherhood

[00:10:16] is really it's realizing how many different seasons can exist at the same time you can feel deeply blessed and still feel grief you can feel you can feel grateful for your children absolutely while aching for your mother you can celebrate you can celebrate your motherhood

[00:10:46] motherhood as a whole while quietly carrying loss and I think many women need permission to know these emotions can exist together and there was there was those times we're talking about this there was those times when

[00:11:13] the season of taking care of your mother that was hard too there's a lot of women going through that right now that was hard too that was another story and as I was saying these emotions they can exist together and it doesn't I just

[00:11:43] I really want to be so clear that it doesn't make you ungrateful right it makes you it gives you breath it makes you human right we are in the end we are human we will feel we will feel different moments we will feel the different feelings that bubble up because

[00:12:12] love leaves an imprint and the deeper the love the deeper the emotions connected to it the memories all of it right the the things that we do with our children the things that they say sparks those memories and I especially want to speak gently to the women still praying for children

[00:12:43] many of us know this season and many of you are in this season the women who smiled through the mother's day branches the women who stayed quiet through conversations that felt painful internally I wish I could hug you all the women carrying miscarriages infertility disappointment and

[00:13:13] the silent heartbreak you're not talking about I really want you to know that you are not forgotten that you're not forgotten you are not forgotten your pain matters your prayers matter and I truly believe God sees every tear every longing every prayer whispered quiet quietly when no one else is around

[00:13:44] and if this is your season right now I hope you hold on to hope because your story is not over okay it is not over and to the women grieving their mothers I see you too the women who still instinctively reach for the

[00:14:14] phone you know the feeling the women who wish they could hear their mother's voice just one more time the women becoming mothers themselves while grieving being the women who taught them how to be a mother the

[00:14:44] ones taking care of their mother on their final season that kind of grief runs deep because a mother's love leaves fingerprints on your heart forever it's so true it's so true gosh I'm not going to get emotional

[00:15:13] I'm not going to get emotional but you know it's just the proof I always tell my friends going through this my my sweet friends going through this that is just proof proof the love that we had so much more love to give we have so much more love

[00:15:43] and may that may that may that may we live for the people that are not here with us any longer may we live that legacy and be shine their love onto our families and their memories it's true though right our mother's fingertips

[00:16:12] are on our hearts forever whoever we lost and even when she's no longer physically here you still carry pieces of her inside you in your nurturing your tenderness your strength your love for your children your family and I also

[00:16:42] want to gently acknowledge the mothers who have buried a child because that is a kind of grief that changes a family forever my brother passed away when he was only 18 years old after his graduation and I watched how that loss stayed with my mother for the rest of her life not only with her but with all of us because when

[00:17:12] someone that deeply loved is gone it never fully returns to what it once was and I think becoming a mother myself gave me an even deeper understanding of that love and that kind of loss just trying to even imagine what

[00:17:42] that looks like for a mother it just really just it brings things into perspective because I wouldn't want to imagine it but there are so many women going through that like my mother and I think for me what brought me comfort after her passing

[00:18:14] a little bit was believing my mother and my brother were together in heaven that image it was comforting that image of when she was no longer here perhaps perhaps perhaps on the other end and she got there there was this little

[00:18:43] voice this voice calling her name and them running together and embracing that visual may sound silly I know I know but it gave me comfort it still gives me comfort I I thought she's having her mother's day and I think

[00:19:13] that's what helped a little bit here and there to make grief bearable but even in the middle of the joy I now experience with my own children not a second not a second went by that I didn't think about her heart on mother's day too it just made it very real of her experience she had such great times with me after my brother was

[00:19:43] gone but I could just imagine her heart and I thought of that often on mother's day and to the mothers carrying that grief today of their children whether your child was here briefly or for many years I not only do I want you to know I need you to know your motherhood will always matter

[00:20:12] your child's life will always be deeply meaningful and the love you carry for them will forever remain part of you okay I need you to know that I know Mother's day was hard for you reach through and just give you a big

[00:20:42] hug I know these conversations are great but sometimes no words can touch what we're feeling and to the mothers who had beautiful weekends flowers cards celebrations vacations children wrapped around your neck saying mama mommy I

[00:21:12] hope you fully receive that joy too that beautiful feeling I hope you slow down enough to truly take it in because motherhood is one of the greatest blessings and sometimes in the busyness of raising our children sometimes we forget to pause long enough to recognize the beauty

[00:21:41] of what we're living inside of even in the ordinary moments the little shoes by the door the bedtime routines the tiny hands we get to hold right the ones we can help clean up messes after the noise you could right now hear the children yelling downstairs they're having the best time ever

[00:22:10] they're playing with each other god bless it and I think about that often because that was my brother and I and then the house fell silent so I'm telling you just enjoy the noise enjoy the chaos the love one day those moments become the memories we ache for again when we're no

[00:22:40] longer in that season telling you we've talked about it many times and we get warned about it all the time as mothers in this season don't you don't you relate when you're walking with your babies you're tired and I don't know I think because of all these things that happened in my life I was always very

[00:23:10] grateful but I don't think I'm still not prepared I've had so many people walk up to me that are older I think I've shared this before their eyes watering and just telling you warning you how precious these seasons are and I don't think I'll ever be fully prepared for that I was watching something the other day and

[00:23:40] it was this mom and her she all of a sudden it went to this sad music and she looked a little older in the next take and she looked back and there was nobody in the back seat anymore so I know we get

[00:24:10] warned about that all the time so let's never take this for granted okay let's never take it for granted this is a blessing and just like life it moves by it moves by and we have to enjoy all of it we want to really take advantage and enjoy these moments because we want to be happy for our children when they're in their season right we don't want to have any toxicity

[00:24:40] because we didn't enjoy these moments and pull their family apart or you hear you hear about different podcasts different podcasts different conversations but guys we really need to take advantage and just be so grateful for these moments of motherhood and listen somewhere somewhere in the middle of all of this

[00:25:08] I think motherhood reveals something sacred about women the way the way deepens love the way it expands our tenderness the way teaches sacrifice so beautifully I I'm I'm not the same person I remember looking back and

[00:25:38] thinking gosh I was I was pretty um self centered even selfish at times this motherhood journey has taught me so many incredible things even when I was going through my my own journey with what I the diagnosis and all that I remember I remember after life-saving surgery I had this angel nurse

[00:26:08] oh my goodness she was such an angel trying to help me find a pump I was so scared I really wanted to nurse the baby I did all the research what if what if I can't nurse the baby after I was trying to find the best formulas trying to figure out what I would do after the surgery I refused I refused to take the medication because the pump wasn't working

[00:26:38] they were the nurses were looking all they went out and bought a brand new pipe pump pipe pump and they brought it in for me and I felt so bad because it wasn't working and I thought oh my goodness my milk is drying up I was so sad that was the only thing on my mind and I remember telling my just bring the baby in bring the baby

[00:27:08] in just bring her in just bring her in and I remember this nurse this angel of a nurse she was helping me walk to the bathroom she was holding me and we were getting there slowly but surely and I remember her tears in her eyes she was only a mother she was begging me to take the painkillers and I

[00:27:37] just said no I have to nurse the baby that's all my vision kept thinking about was and I just any other time in my life are you kidding me give me give me whatever will make this go away I remember even the doctors when they had to do the the scopes

[00:28:07] I didn't take any painkillers I didn't take any I didn't I was awake for it all we got it we'll do a different podcast on that but I was awake for all of those tests we were awake because baby needed to nurse but you know who got me through it it was the first time ever I put all my trust in everything

[00:28:37] I put everything into God and he carried me through it so motherhood yes oh yes it teaches the fierce protectiveness right oh mama bear lion lion we were the lion cubs for my mom and now I'm the fierce lion our family is this pack of lions that's who we are the protectiveness

[00:29:07] oh my goodness the quiet strength this is this is our community these are all the things the nurturing spirit that children feel every single day in their mother's presence there's a beauty in motherhood that that goes far beyond appearance a kind of beauty rooted in love devotion

[00:29:37] nurturing and selflessness and it deserves to be honored not just one day a year every day often openly right deeply I remember my son coming into the bathroom I was in the bathroom and he goes oh I don't know I just feel like it's the best day of the year he says the cutest

[00:30:06] things the cutest things the best day of the year but your birthday is past no I don't know it's just it's another day mama it's another day another great the best day ever gotta love them gotta love them before you reach for that coffee consider this what if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup but in

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[00:31:35] those journals grab your pens let's not judge let's just let's just write from the heart we don't have to answer anything we don't want to but I feel like when when I write things down I feel like it gives me a lot of answers and I like to especially when it's about relationship I like to share it with my spouse sometimes I can put

[00:32:05] things into words that I can't always say out loud so let's begin which part of Mother's Day felt the most emotional for me this year and why it could be something beautiful I know a lot of moms out there that are getting ready to be moms or babies are in their bellies there's an emotional moment with that too

[00:32:34] so whatever it was whatever it was right just write it down let it spill out is there a part of my heart that is still grieving waiting healing or longing for something I haven't fully acknowledged yet this is a quiet time to

[00:33:04] ask ourselves the questions that perhaps we haven't even said out loud what blessing in my life do I want to slow down and appreciate more intentionally this is a good one is there someone I remember today

[00:33:37] maybe there's someone from your past I remember when I was growing up I had a beautiful neighbor that I adopted as my grandmother because I never got to meet my grandmother she passed away before I was born so I loved my neighbor so much her name was

[00:34:07] Bernice I loved her so much I would go to her house I made friends with her I told my mom that I was going to adopt her and I did we created a close bond she would cook for me she ended up I could go over some days and just hang out with her and play board games and she made me

[00:34:36] these really good hamburger patties but she didn't have the buns or anything she would just make the patties and she would make them with onions and and warshaw sauce and I never I never asked her for the recipe I was too young but I just remember that was my favorite and she made mashed potatoes and I had so many great memories with her till finally I asked her I said

[00:35:09] and I had a grandmother my neighbor was my grandma Bernice and gosh I remember I remember thinking about her there was this one year I was grown and I remember thinking of her so much thinking that I really I was busy I was working I thinking of her so

[00:35:38] strongly I wanted to go visit her she called me she would call me every once in a while I would be so happy and she wanted me to visit her and I wanted to visit her and I never made it there I never made it there and she passed and I never got to go visit her we got to talk but I never got to go visit her I remember there was always a sting and now of course I feel

[00:36:08] that sting right with my mom that passed but I remember thinking of her before and I think about her often now too because we had so many great memories like my mom like my mother so many maybe you still have your mom but there's someone from your past or your childhood maybe it's

[00:36:38] a teacher who knows who knows what comes up write down what comes to your mind what kind of love comfort and legacy do I hope the people around me feel through my presence that's good that's a great thought if I could say one honest prayer to God about this

[00:37:08] season of my life what would it be now what would it look like to give myself permission to hold both gratitude and grief at the same time what would that look like just write down anything that comes to mind anything that touches your heart

[00:37:38] and if you have other questions come up write them down write down those questions quickly before you forget I love these moments and with that let's let's move into prayer let's seal this in prayer heavenly father love today today we lift up every woman listening the mother celebrating the mother grieving

[00:38:07] the mother waiting the mother healing the mother is carrying silent heartbreak the mother is caring for others while caring for their children at the same time and the mother is holding overwhelming gratitude Lord comfort the women who miss their mothers deeply today wrap

[00:38:36] peace around the women carrying loss loss of their own children family members spouses whatever loss that may be whatever grief that may be strengthen the woman who feels emotionally tired and encourage the

[00:39:06] women still praying for children of their own remind them that you see them fully remind all these women all these mothers that you fully see them you see their tears you see their prayers their love their longing and thank you thank you for the gift of motherhood

[00:39:35] for the beauty of family and for the privilege of nurturing life love and legacy help us never lose sight of the blessing we once prayed for and help us love each other more intentionally while we still can in Jesus name amen

[00:40:04] if mother's day felt beautiful for you this year hold that close and if parts of it felt tender or painful or emotionally complicated you are not alone in that either there is room for both joy and grief inside the same heart and sometimes that's what makes love so meaningful in the first place if

[00:40:36] this episode touched your heart share it if it's been moving you pushing you to improve in yourself or just to see yourself in a different way find yourself leave a kind review and five golden stars as Daniel and destiny say so more families

[00:41:06] and more mothers and fathers can find this community and don't forget to legacy show with Daniel and destiny it's screen free content I know I know we were talking about this the other day it is such a struggle when the children get to a certain age and you've I've done a phenomenal job of keeping my

[00:41:36] children off devices when they go visit family or they go to the park or they're in a restaurant my children have always seen it in the restaurants but they see these children on devices and it gets harder to fight so this

[00:42:05] show this podcast was created for kids by kids to encourage them to teach beautiful lessons of leadership and history it really covers all the bases and the little ones are helping to just create great content

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[00:43:04] fund the production so when you guys help it really it's such a blessing for them and they're so grateful listen friend whether you spent mother's day celebrating remembering grieving or still quietly praying may you know I really want you to know this today that your love matters deeply and

[00:43:34] the love that you give others matters deeply your prayers matter all these things together it leaves a legacy far beyond what you can see God bless you glory to God always always always always we love you we'll see you soon this is becoming unshakable love you so

[00:44:04] much big hugs to all of you I wish I could just hug you guys right now please I hope you feel that hug through the stereo or the system or the car radio wherever you're listening I hope you could feel my love and my hugs and just everything it's I know it's been a week a weekend for some of you I know that God bless you thank you

[00:44:34] beautiful friends for listening to this important message it's from mama there with someone you love and care about oh and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast it's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark listen together as a family it's called the Arsenal Kids Legacy Show

[00:45:03] we know you'll love it build an unforgettable family legacy God bless you we love you and parents if no one told you yet let us be the first you're doing a remarkable job and remember you are the hero of your story because every legacy begins with a hero and that hero is

[00:45:33] you this podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only and it is not intended to replace professional advice legal advice diagnosis or treatment the views expressed are based on personal experience and faith based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions

[00:46:03] or concerns you may have about your health relationships or business