When "I'm Fine" Isn't The Whole Truth!

[00:00:01] There's a moment that happens so quickly, most people miss it. Someone looks at you and asks, How are you? And before you have even checked in with your own heart, you smile, you nod and you say, I'm fine. Too quickly. So quickly that the person asking never realizes that there was another answer sitting behind you.

[00:00:32] Behind it, the honest answer. The one you swallowed because the children were nearby. Because there wasn't enough time. Or perhaps you didn't want to make the moment uncomfortable. Or you've become so accustomed to carrying everything quietly, you're no longer sure how to put it down.

[00:01:00] I know, I found myself the other day there in that very, very moment. I was asked how I was. And the way that they took the time to find out, gosh, everything bubbled up. I know this is a relatable topic and we're gonna jump into it for a minute.

[00:01:29] Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe? Yeah! Yeah. She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business.

[00:01:59] And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Welcome my friends to five minutes that can change your day. A short conversation from the entrepreneur parents podcast created to meet you wherever the day finds you. I'm your host Ildiko Ferenczi

[00:02:28] And if we were sitting across the table from each other right now. I don't think I would ask whether you're strong enough to keep going. You've already proven that. You're strong. You are. I think I would, I would ask something different. I would ask how long have you been calling yourself fine?

[00:02:58] When what you really needed was a safe place to be honest. Maybe nothing is completely falling apart. That is what makes this kind of tiredness so difficult to explain. You're getting up. You're still answering the messages, making the big decisions, remembering what everyone needs around you.

[00:03:23] And from the outside, your life may even look perfect, beautiful. And, and parts of it truly are beautiful. You're truly grateful. You're really are. And, and you love your family. Those are undeniable. You recognize your blessings.

[00:03:48] But the thing is that gratitude and exhaustion can live in the same heart. Faithfulness and sadness can sit at the same table with you. You can love the life God has given you and still admit that something inside has become heavy. One truth does not cancel out the other.

[00:04:16] Sometimes we believe strength means carrying pain so gracefully that no one ever has to see it. We wipe our face, we lower our voices and, and walk back into the room. And we keep everything moving. But there's a difference between strong and becoming unreachable.

[00:04:42] Uh, there's, there's a, a difference between protecting your privacy and having nowhere safe to tell the truth. Uh, difference between choosing peace and disappearing in inside your own life. So everyone else can remain comfortable.

[00:05:07] You were never meant to become invisible in order to prove that you're strong, faithful. You, you can, you don't have to, to reach complete exhaustion before your needs become worthy of attention. I'm looking at the moms right now.

[00:05:33] Maybe, maybe you've been waiting for someone to notice and they haven't. Maybe, maybe you've been waiting for someone to hear a change in your voice or to, to, to see that your smile doesn't quite, quite reach your eyes. To recognize how much effort it takes for you to keep saying, okay. And perhaps someone should have noticed.

[00:05:59] Perhaps the people closest to you should have asked a second time. Perhaps they should have sat beside you long enough for the rehearsed answer to, to fall away. It is, it's, it's painful when they don't. But please hear me friend. That failure to recognize your pain does not make your pain less real.

[00:06:29] It's there. And, and it doesn't mean that you have to keep abandoning yourself too. God doesn't need, he, he doesn't need the polished answer. You don't have to come before him with the version of the story that makes, that makes sense to everyone else or that, that makes everyone else comfortable.

[00:06:57] You can tell him, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. Thank you for everything that you've provided. Thank you for everything you've done. But I'm tired. I have faith, but I'm hurting. I love them, but I need help. I know you're here. I know you're here.

[00:07:25] But today I'm struggling to feel it. That's not You know what that is? That's an honest relationship. God isn't going to come at you. He won't get offended. You can lay it all down.

[00:07:46] And honest, honesty, that honesty is often where, where healing finally finds a place to, to be able to start, to be able to begin. So here's what I want you to do today. Find one safe place where you don't have to say I'm fine. If you're not, you might be. And maybe this conversation isn't for you today.

[00:08:16] But you could still listen because it may be valuable in the future. So find that safe place where, where you don't have to say I'm fine. Maybe that place is prayer. That's where I like to go. Maybe it's beside someone who has earned the right to hear you. To hear you. To give, to give that unedited truth.

[00:08:46] Right? Not the picture perfect answer. Give them the unedited truth. Maybe it begins with a journal and a sentence you have been afraid to write. Because then it becomes real. You don't have to tell everyone everything. That's not what we're talking about. But you do need somewhere.

[00:09:13] You can stop pretending that nothing hurts or nothing's heavy. And when someone you love says, I'm fine a little too quickly. Don't push past it. Stay for another moment. Look at them and gently ask. No, really. How are you?

[00:09:37] Sometimes the most meaningful way we could love another person is by remaining at the table long enough for the honest answer to arrive. You're allowed to be grateful and still need support. Give yourself permission to be strong and need somewhere soft to land.

[00:10:07] You're allowed to love your life and still acknowledge the parts of it that need tenderness, repair, change. You don't have to perform strength for God. He already knows. And you don't have to keep proving your worth by struggling quietly. Maybe, maybe you're not fine today.

[00:10:36] But you're still here. You're still worthy of care. You're still held by God. And still allowed to tell the truth about what this season has asked of you. Friend, thank you for sitting across from me for this beautiful little conversation.

[00:10:59] May something you heard in these five minutes stay with you and change the way you walk into the rest of today. If this conversation brought someone you love to mind, share it with them. And don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a conversation. If this show has encouraged you, leave a kind review and five stars. It helps more families find us. Come find me on social media too.

[00:11:29] All the links are below. I would love to connect with you there. I'd love to pray over whatever you're working on or share whatever you have going on. I'll meet you right back here soon. And until then, God bless you. We love you. And remember, God loves you. You'll have to carry this alone. Thank you, beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama.

[00:11:57] Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family.

[00:12:13] It's called the Unforgettable Family Legacy. God bless you. No one told you yet. Let us be the folks. You're doing a remarkable job.

[00:12:40] And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

[00:13:05] The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. And that's why we're going to be the most part of our podcast. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.