EP 180 The Reason You're Failing is You're Not Doing This One Thing.
Join us on our podcast journey and please let us know how our podcast is impacting your relationship, and you as a parent and entrepreneur. Your feedback is invaluable – Don't forget to Subscribe, leave a review, and email us with your questions to be part of the conversation.
In this episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast, hosts Dan Caldwell and Ildiko Ferenczi jump into the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who share your dreams and values.
They discuss the challenges of maintaining a positive mindset and the critical role of community in personal and professional growth. Through their candid conversation, they share personal stories and practical advice on finding and nurturing relationships with people who inspire and support you.
From the power of listening and learning to the significance of pursuing your God-given destiny, Dan and Ildiko offer invaluable insights for entrepreneurs and parents alike. Join them as they explore how to build a supportive network that fosters success, love, and purpose.
Tune in and learn how to surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you.
P.S. Please when you leave a review please leave your @ handle so we can get you a surprise!
Connect with us!
Instargram
Pretty and Punk Podcast on Instagram
TikTok
Pretty and Punk Podcast on TikTok
Pretty and Punk Podcast on Facebook
Youtube
Pretty and Punk Podcast on YouTube
Websites
Ildiko Ferenczi must haves store.
Don't forget to email us with your questions to be apart of the conversation!
00:00:00
If someone shares, I cannot stand it when
00:00:06
I see this all the time because
I'm a part of a big community.
00:00:09
But I do see it all the time when
someone's trying to give someone some,
00:00:14
not just advice,
00:00:15
but share something with them
and they have to seem smarter or
00:00:21
just listen.
00:00:22
Just close your mouth for a minute and
listen because you're going to learn
00:00:26
something and add value to yourself.
00:00:35
No.
00:00:38
That's better, right, babe? Yeah.
00:00:42
Yeah. She founded an
architectural concrete company.
00:00:47
He founded a hundred million
dollars clothing company.
00:00:51
She took the world by storm
as a social media star. He.
00:00:54
Took the world by storm as a
famous serial entrepreneur.
00:00:57
Together we started a business.
00:00:59
And had babies.
00:01:00
Now we're figuring out
the best ways to do.
00:01:02
Both. Join us as we learn from other
entrepreneurs going through the same life.
00:01:07
Struggles as they share their
life, hacks about success, love.
00:01:11
Kids, and everything in between.
00:01:14
Surround yourself with the
dreamers and the doers,
00:01:18
the believers and the
thinkers, but most of all,
00:01:23
surround yourself with those
who see greatness within you.
00:01:27
If you dream it, you do
it, quote by rock. Disney.
00:01:32
Welcome to the Pretty and Punk
podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell and
00:01:39
I'm here with my beautiful wife, Zi.
00:01:44
I.
00:01:44
Just want to make sure you were
here with us. I'm here. Okay. Okay.
00:01:48
We're on the same podcast together,
00:01:50
so we got another great podcast
today. And today. I mean,
00:01:55
we love talking about this type of stuff
because it's important no matter where
00:01:59
you are on your journey, something
like this is important. I mean,
00:02:04
it's something that all of us need to do,
00:02:08
and we do it at different levels,
00:02:09
and sometimes you're the person
people are trying to be around.
00:02:12
Sometimes you're the person that
needs to be around somebody like this.
00:02:15
So the podcast is about surrounding
00:02:19
yourself with other
dreamers that inspire you.
00:02:24
That's important, right? Yeah.
That can happening like that. Well,
00:02:28
I guess I'm doing the wrong podcast.
00:02:31
No, it's just I've pulled back
on using the word dreamer,
00:02:35
and I used to say it all
the time, but for me now,
00:02:39
I'm just really focused on surrounding
myself with other people that
00:02:44
have the same vision and
purpose and just wanting to
00:02:49
surround myself with people that want
to follow their God-given destiny,
00:02:53
and I like to call it something a little
more powerful. My God-given destiny,
00:02:58
my God-given assignment. And that's
really what's powerful for me.
00:03:03
But if it resonates with you as a dreamer.
00:03:06
No, but it's the same
Type of thing.
00:03:08
I think people get it
when you're saying it.
00:03:10
They get it real quick because everybody
always thinks of, or at least I do,
00:03:13
I don't want to put this on
everybody, but I think of Walt Disney.
00:03:17
I think of this guy who had
this dream to build something,
00:03:22
and now it's still round
even after his passing.
00:03:27
He's got these parks all over the world,
00:03:29
and I go there to dream.
00:03:33
I remember going there early on in my
00:03:37
entrepreneurial career going there to just
00:03:41
feel that presence to be there and go on
00:03:46
this tour,
00:03:48
the Walt Disney tour there and see where
he used to sit and where his office,
00:03:53
where he was. He would dream
at and dream about these ideas.
00:03:56
And so I needed to be close to that.
00:03:58
So I just think of dreaming for that
reason, but I get what you're saying.
00:04:01
But before we jump into that,
let's do this real quick. Hey guys,
00:04:05
we hope you're enjoying today's
episode of the Pretty Punk Podcast.
00:04:08
And if you are and you haven't already
hit that like and subscribe button,
00:04:12
it just takes a second.
00:04:13
It means so much to us because it really
helps the podcast get out there to more
00:04:17
listeners like you guys.
And if you know anybody,
00:04:20
it might help and you can send it to
them. We really appreciate that too.
00:04:24
We also love and appreciate
your reviews, even the babies,
00:04:27
look forward to them every day.
00:04:29
If you share this episode on social
media today, don't forget to tag us.
00:04:35
We want to celebrate you because we
know it's not easy being a parent in
00:04:38
business and the way that
you juggle things makes you
a superhero that's worth a
00:04:43
shout out. Together. We have a community
of our personal followers as well,
00:04:48
and we just want to put it out there.
00:04:49
We want to show everybody that
this juggle is possible and
00:04:54
you are our family and we're
so proud and grateful to have
00:04:59
you a part of this family.
00:05:01
So don't forget all the links
are below in the show notes,
00:05:07
and thank you again, and let's
get back to the show. Well,
00:05:10
my question today is are you
ready to pursue your God-given
00:05:14
destiny?
00:05:15
It takes courage and
sometimes it feels bigger than
00:05:20
life, and sometimes you question yourself,
00:05:24
am I big enough to step into those shoes?
00:05:26
So I like to put more weight
behind the words and the thought
00:05:32
than just a dreamer when
it's somewhat the same thing,
00:05:35
but how are you truly making an impact?
00:05:38
And it's nice to sit
down and think about it.
00:05:41
Is this what you envision God putting
00:05:46
into your lives?
00:05:48
And the other thing is that
when you become a mother,
00:05:53
you almost see it in a different way
because each of your children have
00:05:56
different,
00:05:58
I was just talking to someone
and there's this little
00:06:02
boy, he's two years old and
he's selling his artwork for
00:06:07
$7.
00:06:09
Oh, you sent me that. I saw that.
00:06:10
Yeah.
00:06:11
So I was talking to another mom and she
sent me that we were having this very
00:06:15
discussion about falling
into your God given destiny.
00:06:18
Sometimes you fall into your
fleshly wants and the things that
00:06:23
make you feel good all your life
only to realize later on in life
00:06:28
that you weren't really implementing and
00:06:32
sharpening your tools of the
actual gift that you were given by
00:06:37
God.
00:06:38
So I just want to put more thought
into it rather than just follow
00:06:43
your dreams and whatever
makes you feel good.
00:06:45
Each of us have a certain
assignment that was
00:06:50
assigned to our life to do.
00:06:52
And sometimes moms are so good
at seeing that in their children
00:06:57
at such a young age. Some
are meant to sing and spread,
00:07:03
change the world through their voice,
their singing, through their speaking,
00:07:07
through their art, through movement,
00:07:10
whatever it is you can kind of
pick up on it as a mother. So for
00:07:14
me, it feels like not
just do what you want,
00:07:18
let's do what we were born to do,
00:07:22
and that helps you to
really search what was my
00:07:26
purpose? Why am I here? And
there are so many clues.
00:07:30
The most important thing is to
surround yourself with other people
00:07:35
on that same mission that can
talk encouragement into you,
00:07:40
not talk you out of
your God-given destiny,
00:07:43
but instead catapult you
and push you into that
00:07:48
destiny. Challenge you to go those
places. And as you were saying,
00:07:53
to sit in those environments
of people that you
00:07:58
respect and
00:08:01
kind of feel what they have
gone through, the struggles,
00:08:05
maybe the loss, maybe the tragedies,
00:08:07
but they are still here and they
still kept marching forward.
00:08:10
They didn't let one know,
50 knows, 7 million knows.
00:08:15
I hope that you don't get that many,
00:08:16
but you just keep marching forward
and you just keep following that thing
00:08:22
in your heart. Some people
don't have a community to.
00:08:25
Land into. Yeah, well,
00:08:25
I think if you're trying to do
something that's this difficult, that's
00:08:33
95% of people fail at,
00:08:36
you have to surround yourself with
other dreamers, with other people,
00:08:40
like-minded people going on
the same type of journey.
00:08:42
I just love the challenge that
this question brings because
00:08:48
I can identify with it because I've
been through there, I've been there.
00:08:53
I've been there in a place where
I didn't feel like I had anybody
00:08:58
that was thinking like me. I didn't have
anybody around me that I could go, man,
00:09:02
who else is dreaming like me?
Everybody else is not that.
00:09:08
And I love baseball and sports and
stuff, but I wasn't. I played sports.
00:09:13
I was pretty good at it,
00:09:14
but I didn't ever feel like
I was going to the pros.
00:09:18
So I wasn't into that.
00:09:21
It in your gut.
00:09:21
And I knew people,
00:09:22
I had people at my school who
played professional football and
00:09:28
that was their thing,
00:09:29
but I didn't have anybody close to
me except for my best friends. Well,
00:09:33
I found people that were dreaming like me,
00:09:36
that wanted to dream like
me and do things like me.
00:09:40
And I found myself.
00:09:43
That's why I didn't have a lot of friends.
00:09:45
I never had a lot of friends growing up.
00:09:47
I always had that one
friend or the two friends.
00:09:51
I think I had two friends my
entire life until I got older.
00:09:56
And then my business
partner was my best friend,
00:10:00
and we started a business together.
00:10:02
And I think some of my favorite
times in my life was needing
00:10:07
the energy from him because
sometimes when I was down, he was up,
00:10:12
and when he was down, I was up.
00:10:13
And we lent that to each other.
So when you surround yourselves,
00:10:17
it doesn't always have to be somebody
who's a bigger dreamer than you,
00:10:20
and that's already successful.
00:10:22
Sometimes it can just be
somebody who's where you're at,
00:10:24
but you guys are both dreaming together.
00:10:26
And I remember going to,
00:10:30
he lived in Huntington Beach
and I lived in San Bernardino,
00:10:33
and we would meet in the
middle at this Carl's Jr.
00:10:37
And we would sit there
for hours and hours.
00:10:40
They would literally have to throw us out
of there because we'd eat lunch there.
00:10:44
And then we'd have dinner there too,
because we'd been there so long.
00:10:46
And just talk about the
dreams that we had on
00:10:51
our hearts, the things that we
wanted to do with the business,
00:10:55
with Tapout and all these ideas that we
had running through our heads and just
00:10:59
confirming the fact that all these
things were happening right now
00:11:03
with where we were in our business and
00:11:08
we were believing together, and
we were just saying it out loud,
00:11:11
and we would just co-sign each
other's like, yeah, exactly.
00:11:15
That's why we're going
to be able to make this.
00:11:17
That's why we're going
to be able to do this.
00:11:19
And those were some of my best times.
And just being around other people,
00:11:24
especially your best friends
or people that are close to you
00:11:29
who have that same mindset,
00:11:31
it's just something that will motivate
you and keep you going in those hard
00:11:35
times. Yeah.
00:11:36
I agree. And you really have to be
careful who you surround yourself with,
00:11:40
because sometimes they
may have big dreams too,
00:11:44
but they're on the wrong
path, which can yank you down.
00:11:47
So you have to look for people who
genuinely share your values and visions if
00:11:52
they're pulling you out to the
bar to have a drink. I mean,
00:11:55
we all know now what
alcohol does is I have
00:12:01
my biohacker friends.
00:12:04
There is not one good positive thing about
alcohol. It's proven to cause cancer.
00:12:09
It's proven to cause all these
different things in your body.
00:12:12
So if you have that friend that, come
on, let's go to the bar. I'm sorry,
00:12:15
but you got to do the inventory if
you want to live a long life on this
00:12:20
earth. And believe me, I had
some friends that were great,
00:12:24
and they were great dreamers,
but they were on the wrong path.
00:12:27
And I had to change that. And God
gave me a wake up call saying, listen,
00:12:32
I'll give you another chance,
but get back on the right road.
00:12:35
This is not your path.
00:12:37
Yeah, alcohol takes you off
track. It's going to pull away.
00:12:39
It takes you off track.
00:12:39
Literally. And it's not just alcohol,
00:12:40
but that's a gateway to
other things for sure.
00:12:43
And if someone makes fun of you
for going to the gym or eating
00:12:48
healthy and cows eating healthy
and can something like that,
00:12:52
that's just like, are you
serious? Get rid of those people.
00:12:57
They're blocked. And John,
to mention, I just watched,
00:12:59
I was just reading a story this morning
about this lady who's being charged for
00:13:02
murder because she accidentally ran
over a friend when she was drinking.
00:13:07
She's drinking, she's pulling
outs. Those are the things.
00:13:10
There's nothing good that comes from that.
00:13:13
No, you have to be so
careful with your circle.
00:13:16
So I mean a little bit off topic,
but you have to, in your gut,
00:13:20
in your heart, who's right
for you, you do know.
00:13:24
I always knew, but I
needed that wake up call.
00:13:28
And if they're making fun of my,
00:13:29
it's my healthy eating that
saved my life because I had,
00:13:34
yes,
00:13:34
I used to go to the gym for hours and
hours because I had that kind of mindset.
00:13:39
I know now that overdoing the
gym actually causes really bad
00:13:43
things in your body.
That's for another podcast,
00:13:46
and I'll bring on some professionals
that can explain it to you.
00:13:49
But because I had the eight pack
and the muscles, I was like, oh,
00:13:52
this must be good for me
and I'm eating healthy,
00:13:54
but I wasn't totally eating healthy
because I was dipping into certain snacks
00:13:59
that had certain chemicals that
are proven to do bad things to my
00:14:03
body. So I need to surround myself
with other people that are encouraging,
00:14:08
not just for my lifestyle, but
for my God-given destiny, your.
00:14:12
God destiny. Lemme me ask you
this. What's your formula? I mean,
00:14:17
for back in your entrepreneurial
days when you were, well,
00:14:22
you're still an entrepreneur.
I'm not saying that's changed.
00:14:24
I'm just saying your early days of being
an entrepreneur when you didn't have
00:14:28
anybody to, well, you always had your mom,
00:14:31
but how do you surround yourself?
00:14:33
What was your formula for surrounding
yourself with the right people?
00:14:37
Honestly, it was my
mom. My mom was the one,
00:14:41
because most of the women that
00:14:46
I surrounded myself weren't
really into creating great things
00:14:51
themselves. They were
more into in high school,
00:14:56
girls were boy crazy. And
I never understood that.
00:15:02
I never was boy crazy.
00:15:05
I wasn't into a lot of the
things that the girls my age were
00:15:09
into. So I felt like I didn't fit in.
00:15:13
And I'd have those
conversations with my mom,
00:15:17
and I can't get into it too much
because it's an adult podcast.
00:15:20
But my mom was very,
00:15:21
very honest with me in my teens and said,
00:15:26
don't just bat your eyes at the first
guy that tells you you're beautiful
00:15:31
because they say things for
their own fleshly wants,
00:15:35
don't believe anything
they say. And I was like,
00:15:39
so are you saying that I'm not
beautiful? No, she's saying No,
00:15:43
but guys will say things
and treat you in a
00:15:48
certain way to get things. Just watch.
00:15:52
Don't fall into the trap, but
watch the people around you.
00:15:56
So I took my mom's advice. I was
always very close with my mom,
00:16:00
and I saw, I looked around, I was looking,
00:16:05
these guys were treating them so
wonderful before the hi sweetheart,
00:16:09
before the weekend. And then as adults,
00:16:14
now we understand after the
weekend on Monday, they didn't.
00:16:17
Even look. They did drop 'em like a.
00:16:18
Break, and it was awful.
And a little bit off topic,
00:16:23
but these are things as
parents that are very valuable.
00:16:26
Don't just tell your children,
00:16:28
don't do this because they're going to
think you're trying to cut them out of
00:16:31
fun. But you need to very, very
clearly explain these things.
00:16:36
So rather than having,
00:16:39
and school is so hard and so mean,
00:16:42
and I had the nickname
Untouchable and Unicorn,
00:16:47
and it's interesting to see
that the things that my mom told
00:16:52
me were very wise. But anyway.
00:16:55
As.
00:16:56
Far as business was,
everything she said was my.
00:16:59
Darn, isn't this weird? I mean, I
don't know if you see the same thing,
00:17:02
I'll probably take some heat from this,
00:17:03
but every time you're
privy to kind of girl
00:17:08
conversations, they're
always talking about guys,
00:17:10
but guys don't talk about girls. Do you
know that we don't talk about girls,
00:17:15
we never talk about girls. We,
I mean, we have our moments, but
00:17:20
it seemed to me now,
00:17:22
I could be totally wrong because I'm
not a girl and I'm not in all those
00:17:25
conversations.
00:17:26
But it seemed to me that
every time girls got together,
00:17:30
their only conversation
had to do with other guys.
00:17:35
With guys. Like, oh, do you see? And
he's coming over here and Oh yeah,
00:17:39
we're supposed to see him.
00:17:41
And I never got that because I never
felt like that Guys were always,
00:17:45
we talked about, yeah, are we going
to go ride the motorcycles and yeah,
00:17:50
I'm building this business and yeah,
00:17:52
I love this thing and I think I'm going
to go buy. We never talked about girls.
00:17:56
We just didn't talk about girls. See.
00:17:57
That's the thing that I had a hard time
with that again, they were boy crazy.
00:18:01
And that is the discussions.
00:18:03
And I felt really uncomfortable
in those discussions.
00:18:05
So I would pull back and having
lost a brother at a young
00:18:10
age, I would gravitate towards
the good guys, like the nice guy.
00:18:15
There's a lot of nice guys
out there that are very,
00:18:18
I want to say like a fatherly figure or.
00:18:20
Big brother. Brother. Come on guys. And
girls can't be friends. That's just.
00:18:23
Yeah. But in school it's
different. There are.
00:18:26
Boys. No, it's not different. No, it is.
00:18:28
It's worse. No, no. I
promise. If Chris guys.
00:18:33
And girls cannot be friends.
00:18:34
There, if Chris Re.
00:18:35
This is your point of
view though, from your.
00:18:37
Point of view, I promise.
00:18:39
From the girl. Absolutely.
00:18:40
100%. I had friends that would tell me me,
00:18:45
what people would be saying about other
people. These people are bad news.
00:18:50
Chris Rat, if you're ever
listening, you were a standup guy.
00:18:53
God loving Christian, he
saved himself for marriage.
00:18:58
Look for those beautiful
friendships in school. There are.
00:19:03
Those guys. Yes. Okay. He's an outlier.
That would be an outlier, right? Well,
00:19:06
not really. But you don't think
he didn't want to date you?
00:19:09
No, he didn't. We were just
friends. Friends, I swear friend.
00:19:12
No, but that's from your point of view.
No, I wonder if I'd asked him. No,
00:19:16
because if he was sitting in
front of me, if I said, I said,
00:19:19
you didn't want to date her,
he goes, oh yeah, absolutely.
00:19:22
I was trying to loved.
00:19:22
No, he was a.
00:19:24
It doesn't mean that he
doesn't want to date you.
00:19:26
No, I don't think.
00:19:28
So. He sounds like a good guy.
00:19:29
He saved himself for marriage
and he's trying to be, he was.
00:19:32
Always.
00:19:33
Being a great guy. That doesn't
mean he doesn't want to date you.
00:19:35
I'm telling you that my God
looked after me and sent
00:19:40
me the right people giving me the
right pep. He was that cheerleader.
00:19:45
Exactly the same kind of vibes that
my brother that passed would give me
00:19:50
to tell me how great I am. I'm
better than that. You can do this,
00:19:56
these kinds of friends.
00:19:57
And that's who you need to
be surrounding yourself with.
00:20:00
And it's hard to find
those people. Yes. And I.
00:20:01
Wish I could have found
more girls like that.
00:20:05
Some of the girls,
00:20:07
they were sneaking out and I just
didn't feel that in my heart.
00:20:12
I didn't want to do that.
There's nothing good out there.
00:20:16
So going out after
midnight and sneaking out,
00:20:20
there's nothing good about it.
You will put your life in danger.
00:20:24
And I couldn't even imagine
people doing it in a time
00:20:29
today where it's even more
dangerous. I just couldn't.
00:20:33
And I'm so glad that I
had my mom lean into,
00:20:36
sometimes I'd question things
because girls would be like,
00:20:39
she's just mean and she's so strict and
she just doesn't want you to have fun.
00:20:44
But silently in my head I'm
like, but that isn't fun.
00:20:48
I don't feel it. So anyway, so.
00:20:51
Let's talk about some actionable stuff.
How do we get to be around dreamers?
00:20:55
What do we do?
00:20:56
If you're like in your early
stages of deciding you,
00:21:01
and you know what the truth is,
00:21:03
just saying that you don't have to be
an entrepreneur to need to be around.
00:21:07
Other dreamers. Well, and like-minded
people and like-minded people,
00:21:11
people that have the
same visions for family.
00:21:14
It might be just having the
same. Exactly. That's so perfect.
00:21:18
Having the same vision just for your
family and how you want to be as a
00:21:23
person and how you want to
be a follower of God. I mean,
00:21:26
you want to be around other
people that are sane and thinking
00:21:32
and planning for those
same types of things.
00:21:35
Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens
00:21:40
another. Proverbs 27 17. It's
right there in the good book.
00:21:45
Let's go.
00:21:48
So what do we do? So what are some
of the things? So I was thinking
00:21:52
meetups or groups that
you can be a part of.
00:21:57
There's a lot of programs out there
that have put groups together.
00:22:00
I've seen groups
00:22:03
where you can actually tell
whether there's those any
people in your surrounding
00:22:07
neighborhoods. So you can go,
I mean you got to be careful,
00:22:10
but there's like-minded people that are
signed up for these programs and you can
00:22:15
actually see if they're in your
neighborhood or in your area.
00:22:19
So you guys can do your own
little meetup. So in other words,
00:22:22
if you're in this large,
00:22:23
let's just say Tony Robbins
group or something like that,
00:22:26
and then you realize you're in his
group and then you can see through
00:22:30
technology, through his app or whatever,
00:22:32
that you have 30 other people
in your area that you could
00:22:37
be setting your own meetings up with.
00:22:39
So you guys meet on a Tuesday and
just talk about network and talk
00:22:44
about things that you guys are
trying to do. It just keeps,
00:22:47
because people need this stuff.
00:22:49
Being an entrepreneur or
being a mother or a father,
00:22:53
it's not easy. No.
00:22:55
And when you have other people that
are going through those same things,
00:22:59
it's the whole reason we
started this podcast was.
00:23:02
Wet have that.
00:23:03
Community. Yeah.
00:23:03
There was nobody doing this or talking
about running a business and raising
00:23:08
children at the same time.
It's not easy. And to.
00:23:11
It's not easy hear other.
00:23:12
People. So.
00:23:14
On social, you need.
00:23:15
That sometimes. Just.
00:23:16
Not. Yes, yes. So yeah,
I mean, join our group.
00:23:21
That's number one. But number two,
00:23:24
you can search on social
media and even on Facebook,
00:23:28
there's apps for moms on Facebook.
00:23:31
You definitely want to make sure
if you are starting your group,
00:23:35
you put the questions there
with the like-minded, because.
00:23:41
You don't want to get a
bad seed in your group,
00:23:43
who's the Debbie Downer that comes in
the group and starts talking about how
00:23:46
this is impossible.
00:23:48
No gossip.
00:23:49
Allowed. Yeah, everybody's
gossiping. No. Gosh, no, no.
00:23:52
You got to kick those people right
out. And you got to be that person too.
00:23:57
You got to be the right person. If
you're going to meet like-minded people,
00:24:01
other dreamers,
00:24:03
and you're the Debbie
Downer is Donnie Downer or
00:24:07
Donnie or whatever. If you're that person,
00:24:12
nobody's going to want to be
around you. Yeah, that's true.
00:24:14
And there's a lot of people who, it's
not always your, I mean, it's your fault,
00:24:19
but it's not, I understand when you're
having a hard time, it's just have to,
00:24:23
you want to complain. You.
00:24:25
Have to tweak things in your mindset.
00:24:28
Even with gossip, my mom,
00:24:31
she helped me at a very young age to
understand what it was and how toxic it
00:24:35
was.
00:24:36
That was another reason I really didn't
like to hang out with certain people in
00:24:40
school. Now, now,
00:24:43
right now in my present life,
00:24:46
being a part of the
community that I'm a part of,
00:24:49
sometimes we need prayer partners.
And sometimes people tell me very,
00:24:57
we confess to each other and
we say very sensitive things
00:25:02
to each other. Now,
00:25:04
if I ever have someone
come to me and tell me,
00:25:09
which I can tell that there
was a person that told this
00:25:13
person this one thing and it was
supposed to end with that person,
00:25:18
I already have made the decision that
00:25:23
I cannot hang with this person. Well.
00:25:25
At least you're not going to be
telling them any secrets anytime soon.
00:25:29
No.
00:25:30
But definitely be the person
that people can lean into
00:25:35
you. And if they need to,
00:25:38
that prayer partner that brings them
closer to their God-given destiny,
00:25:43
and they tell you something,
may that end with you.
00:25:46
Do not not share it
under any circumstances
00:25:50
because it just, I mean,
imagine having that on your.
00:25:55
Conscience. And I'll tell
you another thing too, guys,
00:25:58
if you're lucky enough to get into one
of these groups, or if you have friends,
00:26:03
that's great too. And you might
have a different dynamic there,
00:26:05
but if you're lucky enough
to be in one of these groups,
00:26:08
like just a networking group
or a meetup group about parents
00:26:12
or being an entrepreneur or whatever
success or whatever group you're in,
00:26:18
if you're lucky enough to be in one of
those groups before you walk through the
00:26:22
door, I used to do this,
00:26:23
and it's because we are so great at
talking about ourselves. We're excited.
00:26:27
We're excited about our business,
we're excited about what we're doing,
00:26:31
but have some intention
when you go in there
00:26:36
and stand there before you walk
through those doors and say,
00:26:39
I am going to ask questions,
00:26:42
you are not going to learn as a person.
00:26:45
You're not going to
create friends and make,
00:26:48
because you want to make those
people want to be around you.
00:26:53
And the byproduct of that is you learn
things. You're going to learn stuff.
00:26:57
So when you walk through those
doors, and if you're smart,
00:27:02
you're not in a room where you're
the smartest person in the room,
00:27:05
you want to be in these rooms where
you're the dumbest person in the room.
00:27:09
Don't.
00:27:09
Say.
00:27:09
That word. Well, I don't want
to use that word, but okay.
00:27:11
We're going to have to.
00:27:11
Beep that out. Can I say be the.
00:27:15
Person?
00:27:15
Say that one more time. Be the dumbest
person in the room. I don't mean it real.
00:27:19
I don't mean it for real. Kids
listening because I would not.
00:27:21
Don't not for real. Okay. This
is just, I'm saying it be.
00:27:25
The person in the room that's eager
to learn. Let's use a positive word,
00:27:29
I guess. So mad because I don't
want any kids picking up. We're.
00:27:32
Ego going to, we're
other stuff around our.
00:27:34
Kids never. But be the
person that's eager to learn.
00:27:38
Drop your ego as soon as you walk
in that door. If someone shares,
00:27:42
I cannot stand it when I
00:27:47
see this all the time because
I'm a part of a big community.
00:27:51
But I do see it all the time when
someone's trying to give someone some,
00:27:55
not just advice,
00:27:56
but share something with them
and they have to seem smarter or
00:28:01
just listen.
00:28:03
Just close your mouth for a minute and
listen because you're going to learn
00:28:07
something and add value to yourself.
And as Dan, you were saying,
00:28:12
that's a part of volunteering
and serving by helping other
00:28:16
people to open up.
00:28:18
It's a type of volunteering and serving
by helping other people to open up and
00:28:22
listen to them and making
them feel special. That's.
00:28:26
Really be the beginner in the room. Let's
see that. Be the beginner in the room.
00:28:30
Each time you walk into these rooms,
00:28:33
you might have a business that
you're starting. And believe me,
00:28:36
I was guilty of this. I was
so excited about my company.
00:28:40
If somebody asked me a question about
my company, you had to shut me up.
00:28:44
You had to stick something in my mouth
because I was excited about it. Yeah,
00:28:48
I get it.
00:28:49
But I know when I went into these rooms
that there were several times that I can
00:28:54
physically remember standing
outside the door and saying,
00:28:57
go in there and ask tons of
questions. And that's what I would do.
00:29:02
And I met great people like that. Met.
00:29:05
People. That's how you
strong, meaningful relat.
00:29:06
Relationships. Yeah, that
knew more than I did,
00:29:08
but we're excited because I
was asking them questions.
00:29:11
And so it was a really
good relationship because
00:29:16
they liked talking about
their business as I would,
00:29:20
and I was asking them questions and I was
learning. So it was just great for me.
00:29:24
And I like being in those types of
environments where you can do that.
00:29:28
It's important.
00:29:29
Yeah, I agree.
00:29:31
Surround yourself with
dreamers. It's important guys.
00:29:35
Destiny driven souls.
00:29:38
I mean, we all should feel
like that. Believe me,
00:29:42
there's people in my life
right now that sometimes,
00:29:45
and maybe I open that doorway where
I'm having a conversation with him.
00:29:49
We're in a business relationship and I
have these conversations with him and I
00:29:53
have to tell him, I want to talk to you.
00:29:57
I had this conversation with
this guy and I want to speak
00:30:02
with you, and I'm excited
to speak with you,
00:30:04
but you're bringing up all the
reasons why you can't do something
00:30:09
and I want to help you.
00:30:13
But you should be bringing
up all the reasons why you
00:30:17
can, even if you can't figure it out yet,
00:30:20
and I can help you figure it out,
we'll figure that out together.
00:30:23
But I don't want to hear the horror
stories all day long every time we talk
00:30:28
because it makes me not
want to talk to you.
00:30:29
Yeah, there's life and death. I
mean, that's the power of the tongue.
00:30:33
And you have to be so careful with the
things that you put out there because
00:30:38
if you are saying that you
can't, it's going to come true.
00:30:43
If you're saying you can,
it will come true. And.
00:30:46
You got to be that person
for other people too.
00:30:48
Yeah, a hundred percent.
00:30:49
You got to be positive, even if you
don't totally believe it all the time.
00:30:54
There are times where I would
force myself to be that person.
00:30:57
You have to force yourself.
I mean, let's be honest,
00:31:00
we all have struggles and
challenges. And sometimes you just,
00:31:05
even when things are so heavy,
00:31:08
you literally can feel
your knees going weak,
00:31:12
and you feel like you're going to fall
to the ground and then you see your
00:31:17
little girl smile up at you or
your son smile up at you and
00:31:22
take that energy and put it into your,
00:31:26
let that drive strength into
your heart, into your soul.
00:31:29
And I remember going
through that so many times,
00:31:34
just going through tremendous
pain after lifesaving
00:31:39
surgery or things, news crashing down,
00:31:43
hearing that my mom is
not going to make it just
00:31:48
things.
00:31:48
And you have to find the
good to pull you out of
00:31:53
that hole because I'm telling
you, you can spiral very quickly.
00:31:57
And the one thing I know,
00:31:59
the reason why I didn't is by
the strength and the hope and
00:32:04
all the power of God
within me in those moments.
00:32:08
And he will give you little things
like your little ones smiling up at you
00:32:13
and shooting that energy into you.
00:32:15
I think. And that's great.
And lastly, I'll say,
00:32:18
and that's great that you brought up kids,
00:32:19
because lastly I'll say that you
have to be that person for your
00:32:24
children.
00:32:25
Yes. If you.
00:32:28
Are a negative person around
your kids, oh my gosh,
00:32:31
you are going to breed negative kids
that will tell you every reason why you
00:32:35
can't do something. Oh my goodness. Yeah.
Or their friends, their other people.
00:32:39
It is hard to be successful. It's.
00:32:42
A.
00:32:42
Chain. If you're that.
00:32:42
Person and then you put that heavy
00:32:46
responsibility and the
action that rather than you
00:32:50
breaking the chain, stop
drinking, stop being unhealthy,
00:32:55
stop eating that way, stop talking that
way. You should have broken the chain.
00:32:59
How could you put that on your child?
Don't put that on your children.
00:33:04
Ever. And don't speak that way
around your kids. Don't tell. I'm.
00:33:08
Not saying you are, but it frustrates.
00:33:10
Me. No, I'm just saying people out
there, and you know what the truth is,
00:33:13
we can all be that person for.
00:33:15
Someone else in a kind, loving
way. If you see it out there,
00:33:20
that may be one of your
God-given purposes is, Hey,
00:33:24
I know that this is going on,
that mom is really struggling.
00:33:29
I'm going to be the light
in that person's life,
00:33:33
and maybe we can turn the whole
relationship around and help her
00:33:38
break the chains.
00:33:38
Absolutely. Her children.
That's the reason I still
talk to that guy that I was,
00:33:42
we've spoken.
00:33:42
About.
00:33:42
Broken chains. Yeah.
00:33:44
You have to trying to help them
find the positive in their life so
00:33:48
that they become that person.
00:33:50
Because sometimes they just
need a little beacon of hope,
00:33:53
a little something that shows some light
in their life so that they know that
00:33:57
this is possible.
00:33:58
Yes. And by all means, we are not perfect,
00:34:01
but we are pulling back the curtains
to tell you we weren't perfect and
00:34:05
we are breaking chains. Well.
00:34:07
We're so.
00:34:08
I haven't had a sip of
alcohol since I had Daniel,
00:34:13
because I said,
00:34:14
I'm going to commit
everything I have to giving
00:34:19
him the best life. And that
is through nursing him,
00:34:23
through figuring out, because we
did have challenges. Doctor said,
00:34:27
now you can't nurse. And I told you
guys the story about the tongue tie.
00:34:31
I did everything I could to
research, and I knew right now,
00:34:34
while I'm growing this baby in my
stomach, I have to eat in a different way.
00:34:38
I have to eat in a different
way while I'm nursing him.
00:34:43
There are no shortcuts.
00:34:44
But that dedication
and that mindset helped
00:34:49
me when I had to be the
strongest on my healing journey.
00:34:52
Because everything had to
be different. No, no, no.
00:34:58
You know what I mean? Just
what you just, I could.
00:35:01
Feel you didn't just do that on the
podcast, did you? Tell me you didn't do.
00:35:05
I'm getting so frustrated.
00:35:06
You can't make sounds like this.
This is like an audio podcast.
00:35:09
You can't do that with That
was your mouth. But don't
00:35:14
please, please, please. Well.
00:35:16
Beep it out. I'm just saying I.
00:35:17
Can't beep it out.
00:35:18
Yeah, you can beep, beep out anything.
00:35:20
I'm just saying you have to
00:35:25
just, you have to commit. You have
to commit. You have to commit.
00:35:29
Okay guys.
00:35:30
Surround yourself with other
like-minded dreamers and
00:35:35
people that are chasing
after God-given destiny.
00:35:39
Everybody needs this in their life.
00:35:41
Everybody needs to be
doing this in their life.
00:35:43
No matter where they are on their journey,
00:35:45
you should always be surrounding yourself
with people that are better than you.
00:35:49
People that are like-minded like you,
00:35:51
people that will drive you and tell you
the hard things when you need to hear
00:35:56
them. People that have your best interests
in mind and they want the best for
00:36:00
everybody. And you can
always tell those people.
00:36:03
It doesn't take long because you can
be around those people for just a few
00:36:06
minutes and know what
type of person they are.
00:36:08
And just remember they. Here's
another thing, the biggest,
00:36:12
saddest reality that there is is one
00:36:17
day being on your deathbed,
00:36:19
realizing that you did not
do what you were created to
00:36:24
do and nothing would
be more sad than that.
00:36:26
So just have the courage
to be very committed
00:36:31
and just surround yourself with
the right people and challenge
00:36:36
yourself to, you're going to know
what your God-given destiny is.
00:36:40
You're going to feel it,
00:36:43
and there are going to be forces that
are going to push you away from that.
00:36:48
There's going to be people that
come up and try to distract you,
00:36:52
but stay laser focused because I
would hate for anybody to one day
00:36:57
say, I didn't fulfill
my God-given destiny.
00:36:59
Nothing would be more painful than that.
00:37:03
It's torture. What do they say
about the cemetery? There's more.
00:37:07
There's more lost dreams in the cemetery
than new else. Something like that.
00:37:12
Thank you guys for listening to this
episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:37:16
Well, if you guys aren't
following us on Instagram,
00:37:19
be sure to follow us at
Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:37:22
And if you know anybody that is going
through this right now that is not
00:37:27
surrounding themselves with the
right people, send 'em this podcast.
00:37:29
Hopefully it helps them. And it's things
that people really needed to hear.
00:37:35
We said this earlier in the podcast.
00:37:37
It's the reason why we created
this podcast because there
00:37:41
wasn't anything out there for entrepreneur
parents that are going through what I
00:37:46
feel like are the hardest struggles.
00:37:48
Because not only is it
hard starting a business,
00:37:51
it's hard being a parent and then
put those two pieces together.
00:37:53
There's nothing harder in
the world. That's right.
00:37:57
That's a hard thing to deal with.
And you need to surround yourself.
00:38:00
We'll just go back to the title today.
00:38:02
Surround Yourself with like-minded people,
00:38:05
dreamers that are on the same
mission. Thank you guys for tuning in,
00:38:09
and we'll catch you guys next.
00:38:10
Week. God bless you
guys. Have a great week.
00:38:14
Thank you so much for listening
to the pretty important podcast.
00:38:19
Thank you for listening to this episode.
00:38:22
Make sure to surround
yourself with the dreamers.
00:38:26
I loved you guys. God bless.
00:38:29
I appreciate you listening.
00:38:32
Free and punk podcast subscribe and I'll
00:38:37
see you next week. Check out
the podcast. Hit that button.
00:38:43
So many, God bless.