The Hidden Test of Success: Before You Gain the World and Lose Your Soul!

[00:00:01] There was such a powerful conversation we had in the community the other day. I had to bring it here. So close your eyes for a minute and imagine this. A man sits alone in one part of the house. It's a beautiful house. Big, beautiful. The kind of house he once prayed for. The kind of house that he used to drive past slowly.

[00:00:28] He would take a drive up the mountain. Take a tour after work and just dream. Just imagine what it might feel like to actually live there. That's where he lives now. And there is expensive cars in the driveway. The business is thriving. His calendar is full. People admire him.

[00:00:57] They even quote him on social media. They invite him now into rooms where he once believed that he may never enter. He walks through the mall or the airport and sometimes people recognize him. When he calls, people answer. And when he speaks, people really listen. They are not going to live. They say they are not going to live there. And people don't know who they are.

[00:01:26] By almost every measurement of the world, he made it. He walks upstairs. The hallway is quiet. And there's so many beautiful photographs on the wall that tell the story of a family. But the hallway feels more like a museum of moments that he barely remembers living.

[00:01:53] And the children are now older, much older. They don't run toward the door when he comes home anymore. They stop asking when he's going to be finished working, when he's going to be home. They don't even ask him to play anymore. Eventually, they learned to not wait. And his wife that used to get upset, she's not upset anymore. She's not asking for another conversation.

[00:02:22] She's never angry. And she's somewhere in the other part of the house. She simply learned how to build a life around his absence. And he stands. He stands in the middle of everything that he worked for to build. And some kind of truth begins settling over the room.

[00:02:48] The life that he once believed that he was building for something great for them all together had slowly become the very thing pulling him away from them. And maybe he didn't lose everything because the house is still there and the company is still there. The bank account is still stocked.

[00:03:18] People are still applauding. But in the quiet, he begins to understand something nobody told him while he was climbing. That you can keep the money. And you can still mishandle the blessing. You can keep the title and somehow lose trust. The people that matter the most. And you can keep the powerful platform that you have.

[00:03:48] And become a stranger in your own home. And don't you doubt that another company can be built. And you can purchase another house. You can replace. At this moment in your life, You can replace almost anything. Anything success can buy. But listen carefully.

[00:04:18] Because that same money, It hasn't figured out how to buy childhood twice. It can't return to you the Tuesday night that your babies were waiting by the window. Maybe even crying for you. And it can't recreate. It can't recreate the bedtime story that you kept postponing or the prayers.

[00:04:42] Or even forgetting to call when you were out of town for an extended amount of time. You can't take back the conversations that your wife will eventually stop trying to have. That's the part of success we don't talk about enough. Until the other day. And it was so eye-opening and powerful.

[00:05:11] Success does not only give us resources. Sometimes it gives us options. And options reveal us. The deepest test may not be whether we can become successful. Because that's what we talk about, right? We talk about, can we become successful? How do we become successful? Give me the exact blueprint. How did you become a millionaire?

[00:05:41] Or even a billionaire. We want to read the story. We want to study everything. But the deepest test, it may be whether. After success gives us the power to choose almost anything. Do we still choose what is sacred? What God entrusted to us.

[00:06:05] Oh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:06:32] She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello my friends and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable,

[00:07:00] the Legacy Conversations bonus series brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building lives of faith, courage, purpose, and lasting legacy. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. It is always an honor to have a valuable conversation with you guys. Today I would love to talk about success.

[00:07:28] But let me be a little more clear. I don't want to talk about the climb or the morning routine. I'm not going to be talking about the strategy today. Or even the sacrifice required to build something meaningful. All very important. But that's not what we're going to talk about today. I'd love to talk about what happens after the doors open.

[00:07:55] After, I don't want to say when you become famous, but when you notice people begin applauding. After, after the money removes some of those barriers that once limited your choices. Our culture often treats success as evidence that someone has, has passed the test. Once you've reached success, that's it. You made it.

[00:08:23] But perhaps success is the beginning of a much more revealing one. Something much more important. And what if this test revealed what happens to our character when fewer people are willing to tell us no? It reveals what happens to our commitments after something attractive.

[00:08:52] Maybe an attractive alternative shows up or appears in your life. It reveals whether applause is going to strengthen our gratitude or is it going to slowly feed our ego and turn us. It's truly, it's going to reveal what happens inside a family

[00:09:19] when the world begins asking for more and more access to that person that built that success. It reveals whether the values that governed us during the struggle and juggle or whatever you want to call it, those hard times, will continue governing us when we no longer feel restrained by circumstances.

[00:09:49] And we can actually afford to go out on the girl's trip or the guy's trip or, or spend time away or whatever, whatever it is. So you're no longer restrained anymore. You, you have the freedom if you wanted to financially to do anything really. And I just want to be so crystal clear that this is not an episode against any kind of achievement.

[00:10:19] Believe me, I'm the first one in this community too that believes in building, that believes in excellence. I truly believe in using the gifts God placed inside us to create. And, and, and I believe, I really do. I believe in creating wealth, employing people. What is employing people do? It gives them freedom.

[00:10:45] It gives them, them room to breathe, to do great things in the world. I believe in opening doors. I think in this community, we can all agree with this. Leading well, giving generously. Honestly, there are dreams inside people listening right now that deserve to be brought to life. You guys have a vision, a God-given destiny, and that deserves to be brought to life.

[00:11:12] But the dream or that vision was never meant to consume the dreamer. The blessing was never meant to cost us the people we were praying to bless. And I have to say, success was never meant to become the permission slip we use to abandon the values that carried us to that place of success.

[00:11:44] There's something very beautiful about the beginning of a vision or a dream, whatever you call it. Everybody calls it something different. But it's before the success. There's usually a kind of clarity. It looks like, it could look like this. A man and a woman may sit together at a small kitchen table long after the children have gone to sleep.

[00:12:09] And perhaps there's bills spread across a table or a notebook, some cold cups of coffee or matcha or juice or whatever you guys like to indulge in. And an idea that looks impossible to almost everyone else. And he tells her one day, one day, one day, one day this is going to work.

[00:12:39] And she looks at him and she believes him. Or perhaps she doesn't fully understand the dream yet, but she believes him. And she helps hold the family together. Because not everybody at this point is building together. Not everybody. And we'll talk about that next week. We'll have a different conversation. But for this one, just imagine that she's holding the family together.

[00:13:07] So she's working very hard at home. Right? And we talked about that episode where someone mentioned that she's not doing anything at home. But if you were to give, a divorce attorney was talking about, if we actually do inventory of all the things that she does, those kind of people actually get paid and it's just one career. So imagine, she's doing all that.

[00:13:33] She's holding everything together at home while he goes out and he builds. And she carries more when the hours become long. She's exhausted and the money's not there. The success hasn't hit yet. So she stretches the grocery budget and all the budgets and the shopping for the clothes and all the things, the inventory that the home needs to run.

[00:14:03] And she encourages him. And she encourages him after rejections. Right? She just smiles and, you know, it's going to be okay. She listens to the same idea again and again. Because sometimes a person carrying the vision needs to hear it out loud before they can keep carrying it. So she wants to have the conversation again and again just to see it. And maybe they pray together.

[00:14:33] Maybe they pray together. And maybe they imagine the different life that they could give their children. They talk about taking care of everyone. Maybe giving back and helping people. Just really creating something meaningful. Something blessed. Becoming the kind of family that never forgets where they came from.

[00:15:01] And in those early days, success feels something. It feels like they're building together. And remember, in this example, it looks a little bit different. Because there are some people out there that have this. Many people. Many people. And there's an innocence about it. There's an innocence about it. It's a shared language.

[00:15:30] A shared struggle. And it's a shared story. A shared vision. But then sometimes, sometimes it works. It works. The calls come. The deals close. And the business grows. And the opportunities multiply. And the man who once had to convince people to please give me a chance. Give me a chance.

[00:16:00] He's not begging. But he's finding creative words to eloquently express this. Just, I need a meeting. Just meet with me. Well, now, he has people waiting for one. And slowly, the room around him begins to change. It's changed. And then there comes this strange day when the waiter knows. The waiter knows his name.

[00:16:29] The airplane, the airline, they upgrade the seats automatically. And people return the calls so much faster than they used to. People even start laughing a little too hard at a joke that was not actually funny. I know a lot of my friends, they watch for that. They're like, oh my gosh, they're just laughing at my jokes. They're laughing at my jokes. And my jokes aren't even funny.

[00:16:55] So, so, so they're laughing at jokes that maybe aren't even funny. And, and, and you begin walking into rooms where people, where people already know what you've accomplished. They know about the, the business, that vision, that vision. And without realizing that access can switch and it could begin to feel like importance.

[00:17:20] The doors can, the doors that are opening can start feeling like evidence that you are somehow greater rather than a reminder, rather than a reminder that influence must be stewarded.

[00:17:42] New people arrive, people who, who never saw the beginning, who weren't there in that tiny little kitchen. Maybe it was an apartment, a basement suite. Who knows, but they weren't there for the beginning. They, they weren't there in that tiny little apartment. They didn't see the anxiety. They didn't, they didn't see the nights of uncertainty when you were talking it through.

[00:18:10] They didn't see the rejection, the years when your spouse was the only person who knew how afraid you really were. They met you, these new, this new circle met you after the victory. They know the polished version, the powerful version, the version, the version with money, maybe lots and lots of it.

[00:18:35] And, and some of them begin speaking directly to the most unguarded part of the ego. They tell you that you, you singly, not, not the person that was there with you when there was nothing, but just you deserve more. That you've outgrown your old life, that, that nobody at home understands the pressure

[00:19:02] you carry and that, that after everything you sacrificed and you believe them, it's finally time to choose yourself, just yourself. And then comes the most seductive reminder of all. You have options now.

[00:19:25] And options aren't inherently wrong, but they have a way of revealing whether our values were convictions or merely circumstances. Loyalty sounds beautiful, right? The Holy covenant, all that, the family, it sounds so beautiful when no alternative has appeared.

[00:19:49] Humility feels, it feels, I would say like natural, second nature when nobody knows your name. Walk into a room, nobody knows, nobody knows who you are. They don't know what you're building. Family first is easy to declare, right? It's easy to, yes, my marriage is, my wife is everything. She, God comes first, my wife, and then this family, this is everything to me.

[00:20:19] It's easy to declare that while the world is still not asking us to choose because there's no other option. That's your only option. Success brings those declarations into light and it gives us an opportunity to discover whether we truly meant them back in the day. Yeah, I know. It's heavy. It's heavy.

[00:20:53] And I want to add that character rarely disappears in one big choice or a dramatic moment. More often, it drifts one justified decision at a time. And it's long before success tests our character openly. It whispers to it. It's just quiet. It's this small little whisper.

[00:21:22] You've earned this. Go for it. Nobody will ever know. Or perhaps it sounds like you work harder than everyone else. You're the one that gets out. You're the one that's out here in the workplace. Then you kind of forget about the person that's sleepless at home. Because there's this whisper. You work harder than everyone else.

[00:21:52] You deserve to be happy. Go do something great. It's not really betrayal. These are the whispers. Listen, it's only one dinner. It's just one trip. It's just one trip. It's just a private conversation. Nobody's going to know. They want me to talk without my spouse and my kids there. It's okay. Just one private conversation.

[00:22:22] It's a private conversation of maybe someone they may not approve. Maybe someone I'm not supposed to be talking to. Just one secret. Just one tiny little compromise. It's just one. Just one. But the dangerous thing about compromise is that it rarely introduces itself honestly. It doesn't announce that it has come to dismantle a marriage.

[00:22:50] It doesn't say that. It's very attractive. It appears as someone who finally understands. This could be family. It could be friends. It could be coworkers. It could be coworkers. It could be anyone. It could be anyone. But they finally understand you. It doesn't announce that children will eventually feel abandoned. That's not how it comes.

[00:23:18] It appears as an opportunity too important to miss. Oh my gosh. This is such a huge opportunity. I have to take it. I have to go. I have to go. They'll understand. I'm building it for the greater good. And you make yourself believe these things. It's the enemy.

[00:23:42] It's the enemy works in very creative and interesting ways. It doesn't explain that it is slowly changing us into someone we once promised to never become. It simply says, just this once. Just one time. Come on.

[00:24:06] Sometimes a life does not unravel because of, as we said, an enormous decision. It unravels because a person repeatedly trusted the smaller voice that said, everything will be fine. Everything's going to be okay. Just do it. And it's very important for me to add that success does not automatically corrupt anyone.

[00:24:36] Money doesn't force someone to become unfaithful. Um, influence is not going to, to make a person arrogant. It doesn't have to, right? If you have the strong commitment to your moral, to your faith, to your marriage, your holy covenant.

[00:24:57] And it would be irresponsible to suggest that every family breakdown, including or, uh, involving a successful person happened because of success. That's not what we're discussing right now. Marriages and families, it's, they're complicated.

[00:25:18] There may be abuse or addiction, betrayal, deep, unresolved wounds, circumstances no outsider could fully understand. So just know this conversation is not a judgment against every person whose marriage ended. This is about something more specific. Success can remove friction.

[00:25:48] It can make impulses easier to act upon. Money, money, money can make secrecy easier, right? When you're going on the trips, on whatever it is. We know it. We've heard it. We've heard all the stories. It's endless, but it makes it, it makes secrecy easier. Status can attract attention. Sometimes dangerous attention.

[00:26:18] If you're not careful, power can reduce accountability. People can even defend your choices that aren't the best choices because they're gaining something from you financially, right? Or a position. Influence can surround a person with people who benefit from always saying yes.

[00:26:44] Someone may already carry insecurity or resentment and even entitlement or, or an unhealed hunger for validation, respect, whatever it is. Success does not necessarily create those wounds, but it can give them, it can give them more room to move.

[00:27:12] And it may not be the thing that creates the crack, but it can widen it. That's why character matters even more after the breakthrough, after the so-called success. There's a healthy confidence that comes from overcoming something difficult. A person learns that they can survive.

[00:27:41] They could survive anything. They did this. I could survive anything. They know now that they can solve problems, that they can begin again. They know they're capable of more than they once knew. And that confidence can be a gift. It should be. But when it is not governed by humility, it can become an illusion.

[00:28:10] A person begins believing that because they built one successful thing, they can replace anything they lose. Another business can be built. Another relationship can be found. The relationship at home, it can be replaced.

[00:28:36] The children, they're going to eventually understand. And trust can be repaired later. But human beings are not businesses. A family, it's not a company that could be dissolved, rebranded, and relaunched. A child's heart is not an account.

[00:29:02] It's not just a bank account that could be replenished whenever it becomes convenient. I just want to remove all those images because people get tricked. They get tricked. A spouse is not a member of staff who can be replaced by someone that's more impressed with you when they haven't seen where you came from.

[00:29:33] Trust is not going to simply return because the person who broke it finally just wants relief from the consequence. I don't want to deal with the consequence. I just want the trust back. It takes work. Some things can be rebuilt. Some of them. And listen, yes, marriages can heal.

[00:30:02] Families can experience profound restoration. Profound. People can repent. And God can redeem stories that appeared completely broken. We have so many testimonies. But redemption is not the same as erasing consequence. There's still consequence. And that is something I talk about with my children all the time.

[00:30:31] We were just talking about it last night. Consequences. Listen, forgiveness, it's not going to return the lost years. Reconciliation cannot be demanded. And remorse, remorse does not give us authority over another person's healing timeline.

[00:31:00] Some people may heal very quickly. But others, because of what happened, the story, it replays and it's hard. It's a lifetime of healing for some. We can't intentionally destroy something sacred and presume that grace will make the destruction painless.

[00:31:24] That's an important thought to think about. The world has become very good at celebrating the person that built the success. But success is often supported by the people that the audience never sees.

[00:31:46] There's often a spouse who kept the home steady, who went sleepless hours, who juggled everything. Who juggled everything. And there's someone who cared for the children when meetings ran late. Someone who carried worry quietly because the dream already felt fragile. They didn't want to disrupt the waters.

[00:32:17] A family that repeatedly adjusted around, let's call it an entrepreneur schedule. Perhaps a family that moved. Moved from other friends or a place that they loved. They moved. They moved away.

[00:32:36] And this doesn't mean that someone else owns a person's achievement because there was a lot of background help. Right? The community, the wife and the children. Maybe even grandparents were helping. Or there was some other, the aunts, uncles, whatever.

[00:32:58] But usually, usually it's the holy covenant carrying the other side. But that doesn't mean, as I said, it doesn't mean that they own the other person's achievement. But what I'm trying to say is success is not built solo. There's an ecosystem. That's what I'm trying to say. There's an ecosystem around every builder of success.

[00:33:31] There's someone that absorbed the uncertainty. That gave time, blood, sweat, tears that nobody saw. That postponed their own dream. Something important. They believed. They believed before the evidence ever arrived. They loved the person. They gave everything. Before the person became impressive.

[00:34:01] And one of the deepest forms of ingratitude is enjoying the blessing while forgetting who helped carry its cost. And we had to have this conversation in the community. I know many families are building together and everyone is included. They're building together. They're building together.

[00:34:26] And they get to see everything grow together because they're included. But there's a lot of people still in a different kind of building where they're building at home. They're building out there. They're the ones that shine. And it's kind of separate.

[00:34:50] So that's why we're having this conversation just about the stewardship and what the possibilities of how things can go in a positive direction or a negative direction. Where the cracks happen and they widen and things shatter. A foundation crumbles.

[00:35:17] Sometimes success creates a strange distortion where people in the new rooms appear exciting. They're polished and interesting. And they're dressed for the moment. And everybody knows your accomplishments. And they're curious about your ideas. And then you return home. And to the person who knows all of you. Who loves you for you.

[00:35:45] The person who is there for the failures. And the insecurities. And the bad habits. And you work through them together. And the unfinished promises. The version of you that really, really needed encouragement. And home doesn't always applaud the same way. Someone still needs to take out the garbage. Someone still needs to help with certain things.

[00:36:16] Oil the cracking doors or whatever it may be. Whatever. To put the phone down. To look up. To listen when the children speak. And when someone has become dependent on admiration once success hits. And they're in a different room. An ordinary family can begin to feel. I don't want to say insulting.

[00:36:45] But. You know. It's just. There's just a different vibe. The spouse that once felt like home. And this isn't for everyone. But this was the conversation. So we're going to be honest here. Begin to feel like someone who no longer appreciates the new identity enough. Like everybody else. That may be starstruck. Or trying to ride the coattails. So they're laughing at the jokes.

[00:37:15] And they're. They're. What is it? Puff. Puffing up the. The ego. But the family did not necessarily become too ordinary. Success may have simply made ordinary love harder to recognize. There's a kind of love that doesn't need your resume. It's not impressed by the title.

[00:37:45] Little ones. Right? This is the beautiful thing about children. They're excited when you walk into a room. Because of your love and your energy and who you are. It doesn't matter what you've accomplished. They're not impressed by the title. Your spouse. The kids. They're not seduced by the platform. By the thing that you built. That's not the attractive thing.

[00:38:16] It was always you. It knows. This beautiful family knows who you are without an introduction. That kind of love should never be treated less valuable. Simply because it doesn't flatter you the way that the world does.

[00:38:41] Sometimes people say that when someone abandons their values, they eventually lose everything. And that can happen. That can happen. There may be financial consequences. There may be financial consequences. Or if divorce hits, there's big legal battles that are incredibly expensive. Damaged businesses. Lost reputations. There may be financial consequences.

[00:39:11] But this isn't always. Some people get to keep the money. They get to keep the house and the platform that they built. And they continue receiving outside applause. And they may appear happier for a season. That is why wealth cannot be the only measure of whether someone stewarded success well.

[00:39:35] Because sometimes you can keep the money and still mishandle the blessing. The thing that God called you to do. Your God-given destiny. You can maintain the lifestyle and lose the person who knew your soul. The person you were building with. You may lose the holy covenant. The thing that God entrusted you to.

[00:40:03] You can keep the influence and lose credibility with your children, your family. And perhaps you get to keep the company and lose the peace you thought the company would create.

[00:40:23] Maybe you could be admired by many, thousands even, and no longer be trusted by the people who knew you and know you the best. Losing everything does not always look like bankruptcy. Sometimes it looks like having everything money can purchase. Right? We see this all the time. We see this all the time. It's so sad.

[00:40:51] And discovering that none of it can restore what your choices cost. Because you didn't steward the way that God was hoping you would. Jesus told a story in Luke chapter 12 verses 16 through 21. A rich man's land produced an abundant harvest. He had so much.

[00:41:22] He didn't even have enough room to store it. So he decided to tear down his barns and build larger ones. And then he told himself that he had plenty stored up for many years. And he could rest. That he could eat, drink, and enjoy life. To take it easy. But God called him a fool.

[00:41:52] And it wasn't... It's not because the land produced abundantly. Or that growth was bad or evil. Planning for the future isn't wrong. Danger was found in the posture of his heart. Listen to the language of the story. My crops. My barns. My grain. My goods. My future.

[00:42:19] His entire world had become centered on himself. There was no gratitude. No generosity. No awareness of God. But he did this. And no understanding that even his next breath was not something he controlled.

[00:42:48] He knew how to increase his storage. But sadly, he didn't know how to enlarge his soul. He was good at it. To accumulate. He knew how to accumulate things. But not how to steward. He built a life of possessions. But Jesus said he was not rich toward God.

[00:43:18] Many people are building larger barns. While neglecting that smaller dinner table. They know how to grow a company. Sometimes over and over again. But not how to protect a conversation. Some of them know how to manage hundreds of employees. Maybe even thousands of employees.

[00:43:44] But they've forgotten how to listen to the person that sleeps beside them. The one that God entrusted to them. His daughter. That you're supposed to lead and protect. And guide. Capacity is increasing everywhere. Except inside the home that God blessed you with.

[00:44:14] Jesus says in Mark chapter 8 verse 36. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world. Yet forfeit their soul. The whole world. Everything. Every room. Every title. Opportunity. Every position. And still. Jesus reminds us. That it is possible to gain. While losing something far more valuable.

[00:44:45] Success is not sinful. It's just. Insufficient. It can't tell us. Whether we become wise. It can't reveal whether. Our children. Feel secure. It's not going to prove that. That our spouse still. Still trusts our heart. And it can't show whether we are becoming. More like Christ.

[00:45:15] Or. Or simply. Or simply more impressed. With ourselves. Success can measure what we have accumulated. Emulated. But guess what it is that. That. Is the most important here. Character reveals. What we have become. Character reveals what we have become.

[00:45:45] Through the success. When success. Happens. When success. Finally comes our way. The thing we've been praying for. It's our character that tells. The true story of who we are. When we hear the word stewardship. Many of us think about money. About. About budgeting. Giving. Giving. Saving. Investing. And yes.

[00:46:15] Those things matter. But. Stewardship. It reaches. It reaches much much further. A marriage. Your holy covenant. Must be stewarded. That is the most important. Besides God. A child's trust must be stewarded. Our health must be stewarded. Right? Our words.

[00:46:45] Our reputation. Our influence. Our years. Our attention. The heart of the person who loves us. Is. Is. Is something to handle with care. The one that's carrying everything. Beside us. A steward understands. That. That life has been entrusted. To them.

[00:47:16] A consumer focuses. On what can be gained. That's the difference. A steward cares for. Uh. What has been placed. In their hands. Before them. And. A consumer. Is fascinated. By options. What else is there? What's better? What's more attractive?

[00:47:45] A steward remains aware. Of responsibility. The responsibility. That's not very attractive. Sometimes. And a consumer. Is preoccupied. With what they have. The right. To do. What they decide. That they have the right to do. Or people convince them. That hey. You have a right to do this. Keep a couple secrets. Nobody needs to know. Right? God. Be so careful.

[00:48:15] The enemy works. In the most creative ways. And attractive ways. A steward. Remains concerned. With what is right. That's the difference. What is right. Success. May increase. What we are able to do. Absolutely. One hundred percent. Stewardship governs. What we choose to do. I was just. Listening to a big.

[00:48:45] Um. I can't remember. Oh my gosh. I can't remember what he did. I think he was a sports manager. And there was this big party. Coming up. And beautiful women. And all kinds of. Things that were going to happen. And as soon as he found out about it. He booked. His trip. Home. And it's not because he. He didn't have to do that. But he wanted. To do the right thing. Because he knew. He is fleshly. He is human.

[00:49:15] And he didn't want to put himself. In a position. That could. Break everything. That he worked for. That broke everything. That he prayed for. With his family. And I thought. That. That was just so powerful. It's something so simple. But he just took himself. Out of a. An environment. God gave him. The. The whisper of. Okay. Now it's time to come home. Come home to your wife. Come home to.

[00:49:45] To the kids. Craziness happened. They didn't have to wonder. Oh my dad was there. Or even here. Even if he didn't do anything. Even if he was strong enough. Which many gentlemen are. They didn't have to guess. Because he made the right decision. To come home. I thought that was just such a beautiful share. If I can find it. I'm going to share it in the show notes. So look for it there.

[00:50:14] Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes a person becomes. More successful publicly. Right? We see this all the time. But then they become less available privately. And the world. The world receives the best version of them. Patient. Eloquent. Encouraging. Attentive. And the family receives the depleted version. The irritated version.

[00:50:44] The one staring at the phone. The one repeatedly saying. Not now. Later. There's too much going on. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps they're working hard. Do not discredit that. They're working hard too. Perhaps. They genuinely believe. That every sacrifice. Is for the family. And they call it a sacrifice. But the family may not be experiencing it. As a blessing.

[00:51:15] They may be the ones absorbing most of the cost. Provision matters. Children need stability. Family. It needs resources. Work is honorable. But children do not experience our intentions. Even if we explain it in those orders. They experience our patterns.

[00:51:43] A spouse can't live inside the explanation that we have given ourselves. They live inside the relationship we create. The reality of the relationship that has been created. There's a difference between working hard for a family. And slowly becoming unavailable. Or a different person to them. In the name of providing.

[00:52:12] The goal is not guilt. Here. In this conversation. The goal is awareness. Sometimes the people that we are working. Or we say that we're working to give everything to. Would trade a portion of what we are providing for more of us. We hear this all the time. When on podcasts. When we interview children of six.

[00:52:41] I want to say successful people. I would have given anything to just have more of my parent there. I would have taken one trip instead of seven during the year. Just one. Instead of all the things. Instead of putting me in all these different things. A much more would have.

[00:53:11] It would have meant so much more to me. To be with my parent. With my loved ones. All together as a family. And that's why I've decided to do things differently. I love that conversation. Because it's powerful. And then they explain how they're building together. How everyone's included. It gives me goosebumps. It's beautiful. Before you reach for that coffee.

[00:53:41] Consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for. Isn't in your cup. But in your cells. I challenge you to swap your morning coffee. For Shilajit by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen. No crash. No jitters. Just clean. Sustained energy. Plus mental clarity. And trace minerals. That our bodies actually need.

[00:54:09] That are actually starving for. To be honest. This isn't just a supplement. It's an ancient adaptogen. Sourced from the Himalayas. That supports mycochondrial function. Stamina. And overall vitality. Your coffee never did that. Okay. Let's just be honest. Try it for a week. And tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's. Sheilajit is next level wellness. And honestly.

[00:54:37] You may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below. Down in the bio. And get your Sheilajit today. There's another vision of success. The dream. One where achievement does not make someone more entitled. But more generous. Money can make a husband more attentive to the sacrifices his wife has made.

[00:55:03] Influence can make a woman more careful with her character. Power can make someone gentler. Gentler. Not more dominant. Not feed the ego. The more doors that open outside of the home. The more intently the family protects what happens inside of it.

[00:55:32] Success can create more time together. I think that's what everybody's going after now. Right? Someone once said. What did they say? Oh my gosh. It was so good. It said. To me success. I don't want a lot of success. But success to me. Is just. Not having to open my bank account. The app.

[00:56:01] Before buying groceries. If I didn't have to do that. And I could have everything comfortably paid each month. That's success to me. I don't. I don't need. Ten Ferraris. And Lamborghinis. And. And three mansions. And a mansion all over the world. Wherever we travel. I just want. Something that. Where I feel like I have freedom. I want to spend more time with my family. I thought that was so good.

[00:56:31] I thought that was so good. And I feel like. That's. That's what we're chasing now. Time together. Time is precious. Watching a lot of people. I'm watching a lot of people. Get sick. And then. What do they beg for? They don't beg for those things. They beg for moments together. My mom was. My mother. My mother. She was always so good at that. Every year.

[00:57:01] She'd ask. Daniel. Destiny. What. Where do you want to go? What memory do you want to make for your birthday? She'd ask me. And. She knew. Growing up. We went all over the world. All over the world. I was just telling my husband about. Europe. And all the different places that we went. So beautiful. So beautiful. I'll never forget those memories. So she'd. She'd ask us.

[00:57:30] Every year. And that was the gift. Because she knew toys. All that stuff. It's forgotten. It doesn't mean anything. It's played. Some of. Some of the things. I tell you guys this. Some of the things that my. My son. And. We don't go overboard. First of all. To make that very clear. On the holidays. Some of the things aren't even opened. That they love that tradition. Of where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? That's why we're.

[00:57:59] We're trying to work on this cruise right now. With my family. But. Time. Time. Right? Time together. More memories. More peace. More generosity. More capacity. More capacity. To serve. The ability to help others. The people closest to us. Can become safer. Because why?

[00:58:29] Because the blessing arrived. That is success worth praying for. Not merely success that enlarges a lifestyle. Success that enlarges our ability. To love well. Success should not make your holy covenant feel as though they lost access to someone. That they loved.

[00:58:59] That they thought that they knew. It should allow them to experience the goodness of what God placed into that person's hands. Marriage is not just a relationship that remains valuable. While. While it remains. Covenant. It is covenant.

[00:59:27] That doesn't mean anyone should. Should remain in a. A dangerous or abusive situation. It doesn't mean that betrayal should ever be minimized. It. I want to make it clear that. That it doesn't mean wise boundaries. Covenant. That it is.

[00:59:51] Covenant means we do not begin treating people as disposable. Simply because our circumstances have changed. We reached success. Success. The spouse who stood by us in obscurity should not become, I don't know, an embarrassment when the spotlight arrives. Right?

[01:00:20] It was a journey together. It was a journey together. Success should never be used to rewrite history. You can't rewrite history as though one person reached the mountain alone. That's never how it is. It's never self-made. There was always someone there. There was always someone there.

[01:00:46] And a new person who admires the successful version of us does not necessarily understand us more deeply than the person who loved us before it. Admiration. That's not intimacy. Chemistry is not the covenant. I got chemistry. That's not the covenant. Content.

[01:01:18] Attention. Attention is not love. Attention is not love. Someone being impressed by your life is not evidence that they are prepared to help you carry it when you have nothing. That's a dangerous territory. It's a dangerous thought.

[01:01:46] When you really think about it, that person, how would they be? When they see the shiny version, but how would they be? Are they going to be the unicorn that was there during the times, the hard times, the struggle and the juggle? I love to listen to these interviews of the entrepreneurs.

[01:02:13] When we do the interviews of the entrepreneurs that went through the struggle and the juggle, the thing that almost broke the marriage, but they stayed together. I love it. I love it. It's so beautiful. And listen, children may not understand every detail of what happened, but they understand what it felt like. They understand what it felt like. They know who came home. They know who was there.

[01:02:42] They know who was present. They knew who poured into them. They know whether success, right? Because that's what we're calling it in this episode. They know whether success made the home warmer or colder. What did they prefer? What did they prefer? Did they prefer while you were building, when it was still fun, or the success that took you away?

[01:03:08] They know whether they became part of the dream. That's very important because they're going to remember. Did I become part of the dream or was I interrupting it? Was I an interruption? Children learn what love means by watching what we protect. My business or my family, my family, my covenant.

[01:03:39] What do we protect? That's what they're watching for. They learn what marriage means when times are tough and when times are successful. That's when they learn what commitment means, what faithfulness means, what you do when nobody's looking, what responsibilities mean. They watch what happens when someone becomes, let's call it powerful.

[01:04:07] When the world is in their hand, they watch what someone turns into. They watch what happens when attractive alternatives appear. They see what happens. Oh, wow. They abandoned my mom because something more attractive came about.

[01:04:35] And listen, I'm not saying that every wife at home is scraggly, but if they are, let's pour into them. Let's get their hair done, their nails done. Get them a massage, right? Let's clean them up. Let's make them beautiful, right? Don't chase the attractiveness on the outside. And your children watch that too. They watch what you gravitate toward.

[01:05:03] And when they're older, they're like, well, why didn't he pour into her? I mean, she was pouring into everything. She was building. She was taking care of us. Now, you don't want to leave that impression. They watch what happens when keeping a promise felt inconvenient. Something else was more important. One day people may forget how much money you made.

[01:05:33] Maybe that dream is gone. It disappears. Disappeared. But they're never going to forget the version of you that you became. I'm telling you, they're going to forget the awards. They're going to forget the titles or maybe even the followers or the company. They're going to forget all of it.

[01:05:59] They may forget the name of all the businesses that you built, but they're going to remember the version of you that came home. So we need to make sure the most successful version of us is also the kindest, the wisest, the most faithful, the one with the most discipline, the safest to love.

[01:06:32] And perhaps nothing has fallen apart, but there may already be a quiet drift. Maybe the phone has become too important. Now, know where you are in your marriage right now. Maybe a spouse has stopped asking for attention as often. Maybe they're not asking to have the conversation anymore. Maybe they're in a different part of the house or the apartment.

[01:07:02] Children are learning to find someone else to lean into. Maybe it's a device. A conversation is becoming, I don't know, maybe it's just becoming, I don't want to have this conversation. Emotionally, let's call it inappropriate.

[01:07:29] Attention that should be guarded against has begun to feel flattering. Again, I don't know where you're at, but this is just giving it like giving it attention. Maybe applause has started affecting your heart.

[01:07:53] Devastation does not have to become the thing that finally becomes, uh, that becomes the aha moment or the thing that brings clarity. It doesn't have to get to that space. That's what I'm trying to say is a person. We don't need to lose a family to remember that they matter.

[01:08:15] Remember, we don't need to betray someone to discover that temptation was not love. They don't need to, uh, become a stranger or we, we, we don't need to become a stranger in our home to understand that presence was always part of the provision.

[01:08:43] And there's still time to turn around. That's what I'm trying to say is that there's still time to turn around, to tell the truth, to, to have the conversation, change the calendar, mess around with the calendar, change the meetings, ask for accountability, come home earlier, put the phone down, look at your spouse in the eyes,

[01:09:09] look at them in the eyes when they talk to you, even if it's something small, listen, listen before they stop speaking, apologize before resentment becomes the, the new identity in the home. The story does not have to be destroyed before someone begins writing a different ending.

[01:09:39] It's never too late. If you start today for someone listening, perhaps the damage may have already happened. Maybe the trust has been broken. A spouse is wounded. A child is distant. Decisions were made that are now so deeply regretted.

[01:10:05] It would, it would not be honest to promise that everything will return exactly as it was. I can't, I can't promise that. I don't think anybody can promise that. The outcome may not, it may not, it may not be in your control. Another person, maybe, maybe they're not willing to rebuild.

[01:10:34] Maybe that's the last straw, but genuine repentance is still possible. And it doesn't look like regret simply because the calm, the consequence became painful. That's not what it's going to look like. Repentance is complete turning, turning around completely. It means telling the truth without trying to manage how it makes you look.

[01:11:05] No longer defending what harmed people. There's no excuses for it. Can't make excuses anymore. Just be honest. And it's hard. It's hard. It means respecting another person's boundaries. It means seeking wise counsel. Going to therapy. Putting in the work. Seeking wise counsel. That's part of it.

[01:11:34] Accepting that rebuilding trust. It perhaps may take longer than desired. I know we want everything to happen overnight. And sometimes we get the strange temptation of maybe if I just start over. Maybe if I just find someone new that thinks I'm the best. I don't know. It means becoming faithful.

[01:11:58] It means becoming faithful before anyone, before anyone trusts that the change is real. It's a hard, it's hard. It's commitment. It's going to be self-discipline. And then surrendering the outcome to God. Even, even if you don't know what's going to happen. But you surrender the outcome to God and you do the right thing anyway.

[01:12:27] Grace is not permission to avoid consequence. There's always going to be consequence. Sometimes we don't like the outcome. But grace is the invitation to become a different person inside them. Inside the consequences. I want to invite you to grab something to write with and your journals.

[01:12:54] I want you to take a moment to answer these questions somewhere quiet. Take your loved ones with you, but just be in your favorite space where you could just pour everything out on a page. Don't rush your answers. Let them reveal what may need your attention. Has increased success made me more grateful or more entitled?

[01:13:23] Do the people closest to me receive the same patience I give the people I want to impress? Do I, do I act differently there? Am I treating people or someone who helped me build it differently now that I no longer believe I need their help?

[01:13:46] I remember this, this, uh, someone coming to me and saying, you know, they treat me so different. I, they, everything I did, uh, that was, I poured into, it was nothing. But now they're paying someone else to do all those things and they treat them so well.

[01:14:11] So really think about that when you no longer need someone to do something or to be there for you or support you, how do you treat them? Have I confused having options with having permission? Who in my life still has permission to tell me the truth?

[01:14:38] Or do I not want to hear the conversation and, and take it as an attack? Does my family experience the blessing of my work or mostly absorb the consequences? Have I begun calling something ordinary because the world taught me to crave constant admiration?

[01:15:09] What am I assuming I could replace that may actually be irreplaceable? If everything external disappeared tomorrow, all the money and things and the cars and if everything disappeared tomorrow, would I respect the person I became while I had it?

[01:15:41] And finally, what must I refuse to lose no matter how successful I become? We need to decide this now and we need to decide it today because we cannot forget what we are sacrificing for. We cannot forget what we are building. Okay. Now let's come together in prayer.

[01:16:09] I know, I know, I know. For some of this, this conversation is completely unrelatable. And to some of this, this is a hard one. I know. And I appreciate everyone that is still here, that is still pouring into themselves, into their marriages and into the thing that they are building together because really it is a joint venture.

[01:16:36] Even if one is at home and one is out, it's together still with the children. Okay. It's still together. And that's the beautiful thing. And if anything has become kind of shaky again, it's never too late to change. You do what starts today. So let's come together in prayer.

[01:17:05] Heavenly Father, thank you for every gift, every opportunity, every resource, every idea, and every blessing you have entrusted to us. Lord, help us remember that none of it was meant to pull our hearts away from you or what you have entrusted to us.

[01:17:31] Protect us from pride, from entitlement, from the intoxicating belief that success makes us exempt from wisdom. Give us discernment when new doors open. Give us humility when the world around us applauds or people around us.

[01:17:57] Give us character when no one has the power to stop us from choosing poorly. Protect our holy covenant with the marriages that you have entrusted to us. Protect our children that we were called to raise and pour into.

[01:18:20] Protect the trust of those who loved us before the world knew who we were, who knew our names. Help us recognize temptation before it becomes destruction. Help us recognize drift before it becomes distance. Help us recognize the quiet cries or cries that we don't even see of the people closest to us.

[01:18:50] Help us recognize it before they stop calling for us altogether. Lord, make us good stewards, not only of money, but of influence and of our time, of our words, of our covenant. For the children, the babies that we're raising, of the years you have blessed us with, given us.

[01:19:18] When we are drifting, turn our hearts back. When we have become distracted, awaken us. When we have hurt those we love, give us the humility to tell the truth, to repent, to become trustworthy again without demanding that healing happen on our timeline.

[01:19:47] May our success never make us harder to love. May it make us more generous, more generous, more present, more grateful, more faithful. And may every blessing you place in our hands become safety, become strength, goodness for the people, for the people you placed in our lives.

[01:20:16] In Jesus' name, amen. My friends, go build. Go build. Build the company, the business. Write the book. Create wealth, freedom. Employ people. Help families. Gosh. Why am I? I'm kidding. I'm getting emotional. What the heck? Here we go. Open doors.

[01:20:44] Open doors of opportunity for others. Lead with excellence. For goodness sake, do not bury the gifts God placed inside you because you're afraid of success. Don't do that. But, but remember, remember, because we, we did it in our journal moments. Remember why you began. Remember why?

[01:21:13] Never forget it. Remember that tiny kitchen table. Maybe it's rickety. Maybe it's ugly. Remember. Remember the kitchen table. Remember the prayers. Remember the person who believed when the dream was still fragile before it happened, before the vision, the God-given destiny. Before, before, before you gave it breath, before there was, before God, sorry, I'm so sorry. I apologize. Forgive me, God.

[01:21:43] Before God gave it breath, before he breathed into that dream, into that vision, into that blessing. Remember the children who did not need the world's most impressive parent. They don't. They don't. But needed to know that success would never make you disappear.

[01:22:10] Remember that, remember that, that options are, are not always opportunities. Opportunities. More attractive options are not, are not always opportunities that are good, that are good, that are of God. Some doors are distractions. Some people are distractions. Some attention is temptation. It's the enemy.

[01:22:41] Some, some applause. It's too expensive. And some of the, some of the choices cost more than money will ever be able to repay. The world may celebrate the things that, that people can accumulate. But heaven is also watching what you steward. It's watching very carefully. It's watching your marriage, your holy covenant.

[01:23:11] It's watching your babies. It's watching their trust, your influence, your years, the heart God gave you. Hold all of it with humility and look that up. We're going to, we're going to do, we're going to do a podcast on humility because it came to my attention the other day that humility isn't, isn't what some people think it is. It's something so much deeper.

[01:23:41] It's beautiful. Right? Right? So don't hold all of it with humility because success is not proven by what you manage to accumulate the title, the thing that's in the spotlight. It's revealed by what you refuse to lose. And if you didn't write it down because you're too busy, go back to the journal moment and take, take that last question seriously. Okay?

[01:24:11] One day people are going to forget how much you made. They will. They may forget the awards and the titles and, and, and the business that you built. But as we said before, your children are going to remember the version of you that came home. That's who they're going to remember.

[01:24:34] So make sure the most successful version of you is going to be the kindest, the most faithful, the one that loves. Right? The wisest successes. Success is, it's not, it's not proven by what you managed or accumulated here on earth. It's what you refuse to lose.

[01:25:02] If this conversation made you think about what you are building and what you never want to lose, share it with the person that is building a life of greatness that is also building. And if becoming unshakable has become a part of your week, follow the show.

[01:25:26] So you never, so you never miss another episode and leave us a five-star rating and a kind review. It helps more families find these conversations. Take a snapshot of where you're listening today. Tag us on, um, on entrepreneur parents podcast on Instagram. We'd love to share you in the story, or you could tag me on my personal Instagram.

[01:25:55] It's all the links are in the show notes. It's spicy little pepper, spicy L I L pepper. I got that nickname when I was three years old. I was performing on stage and I'm, I'm European. Uh, I've got Hungarian in me and I was doing the, the traditional pillow dance. And I begged the teacher if I could perform on stage.

[01:26:24] It was just two weeks before performance. And I begged, please let me perform. I'll learn it. I promise I'll learn it. And she was so convinced. She said, okay, okay, let's do it. So I got to perform. I knew all the steps and I don't know what happened. Something happened. I forgot some of the steps and I kind of just made it up. And the whole audience laughed at me. They were laughing because I was cute. I didn't know that in the moment.

[01:26:54] So I got really spicy and feisty and I reeled my pillow back and I launched it at the audience. And they just, they, they thought that that was adorable and hilarious. And they stood up and started clapping and I got a standing ovation. I got just so mad and I stomped off stage and there was my mother. Ran into her arms and gave her the biggest hug.

[01:27:20] And she, she held me by the shoulders and she looked me in the eyes and said, why'd you do that? I said, did you not see them? They were laughing at me. And she said, they laughed at you because it was cute. You made up your own little dance and, and you just, you improv'd. You just, you were yourself.

[01:27:41] You brought your own personality and you brought this fire to the stage and the spiciness. And ever since that day, I got the nickname spicy little pepper. And when I was told to lock down my name, when social media, uh, my name was already taken. Someone locked down my name. Can you believe it? Ildiko Ferenczi Someone locked it down.

[01:28:11] I don't know if they thought it was, uh, gonna bring them value or I feel like a lot of people back in the day lost their name. So I had to come up with something new. And that was what my, my agent suggested that I share. It's easy to remember. Nobody's going to know how to spell il di conferenzi anyway. And it gives you an opportunity to share that really cute story. So you can tag me at spicy LIL pepper.

[01:28:41] That's the story behind it. And I've kept it because it's a, it's a great memory. It's a memory that, uh, it still makes me smile. And until it made my mom smile. And so we kept that name. And when I came up with it, she was just like, oh, that's so funny. And when I share it, it just, I think everybody could relate in some way, either they wanted

[01:29:08] to follow through with a moment or, or it was something relatable to them in a different way. Anyway, you can tag me there and I would love, so love to share you in my stories and share with me. What are you building? What are you, what are you struggling with? What do you, I love it when you guys leave me. I list, I, I read them all and I try to get to all of them.

[01:29:34] I try, sometimes I miss some, I'm going to be honest because it gets flooded, but usually I'm able to read them all. And I love, love, love sharing your story. I love sharing what you're building with. I love finding myself in your story. And I'm always, when we open up the interviews, I'm always looking for founder stories to share because I feel like everybody has a, a beautiful blessed journey.

[01:30:04] And some people just don't have the spotlight yet. That's exactly why the producers wanted us to stop the interviews for a minute because, um, they wanted us to build the podcast and these have been taking off. But don't you doubt for a second. I'm not coming back into the burning house with the buckets of water to have you share your stories.

[01:30:30] Now, especially when the spotlight is bright, I want to bring you in because you have valuable stories and thank you for sharing them with me. Um, so, so, so, so please tag us five stars. Um, share, share us in your story. I want to share you.

[01:30:55] And, uh, and if you have children in your life, come listen to destiny and Daniel on the entrepreneur kids legacy show screen, free learning, uh, created to plant seeds. It's screen free guys, screen free learning that you could just listen to play in the background. It's, it is created to plant seeds of greatness for, for future leaders of tomorrow. Courageous futures of lead.

[01:31:23] I got to get Daniel in here and destiny. Courageous young, courageous future leaders of tomorrow. That's what they're building. It's, it's character, courage, leadership, entrepreneurship, and, and purpose. It's beautiful, beautiful for the next generation. And it's, and it's beautiful to pull them away from the screens.

[01:31:48] So you can also leave them a gift to help produce the show at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids. Thank you in advance. And yes, some of you have asked if you buy me a coffee. Sure. I'd love that. I think that is so sweet and so generous. Yes. It helps. It helps to produce the shows and I appreciate it. Thank you so much.

[01:32:16] Thank you for every follow, every share, every review, and every gift that helps us as a family continue building together. This is something that we together pray will impact generations. We pray that this is the place where God speaks for us to, to touch even just one person that needs, that needs it. That's worth it. Even if we had one, listen, that would be worth it. And thank you for building with us.

[01:32:46] Thank you for having the courage to pour into your families. It means so much. And thank you for telling us your transformation stories. It's beautiful. Friends may God bless what you're building and may he give you the wisdom to protect what matters most. May success never make you forget the people who loved you before the world knew your name or knows your name. Okay.

[01:33:14] You don't, don't, don't forget those people. That's the most important. It's truly our holy covenant. That's what we were entrusted to. And then we build together. May every opportunity strengthen your character. Whatever, whatever the outcome is, help it to strengthen your character, not, not to weaken your convictions.

[01:33:41] And may your marriage experience the blessing of your success. May your children receive more than, than your provision. May they receive your, your presence. May your home remain the place where the truest kindness and most faithful version of you is known.

[01:34:05] And may every gift God places in your hands become a blessing that flows through you, strengthens your faith and your family and, and the generations still to come. May it never just end with you. May it never end with you. May you build together and bless the generations. God bless you. Glory to God. Always. We love you.

[01:34:32] Keep building strong families, strong futures, and an unshakable legacy. This is becoming unshakable. We love you. God bless you. Thank you, beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast.

[01:34:59] It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the optional kids legacy show. We know you're loving. Unforgettable family legacy. God bless you.

[01:35:26] And parents, if no one told you yet, let us be the folks. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only.

[01:35:51] And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.