Who Are You Becoming While You're Building the Dream?

[00:00:01] Imagine for a moment. Imagine you got it. The thing you've been working toward. The business finally took off. The money comes in. The doors opened. People started returning your calls. Your name began carrying weight in rooms where nobody used to know who you were.

[00:00:25] You bought the house. Reached the number. Built the audience. Got the title. Finally stood in the place you once prayed to reach. You made it. But there's a question nobody really asks you when you're climbing. Where will you be when you get there? Because while you were building the business, something else was being built too.

[00:00:54] You. Every decision. Every compromise. Every boundary you kept. Every boundary you moved. Every person you honored. Every person you decided you no longer needed. Every time you chose integrity when nobody would have known otherwise. Every time you told yourself, just this one time.

[00:01:23] Something was being formed. Something was being formed. And maybe one of the most dangerous things that can happen to us. It isn't failing to build the life we wanted. Maybe it's finally getting everything we thought we wanted. Looking in the mirror. And realizing somewhere along the way, we became someone we never intended to be.

[00:01:52] So today. Today, I don't want to ask you, what are you building? I want to ask you something I think may matter even more. What is everything you're building? What is everything you're building? Building in you. So grab the people you love. Or if this is your time, take that moment to yourself.

[00:02:18] Get comfortable. Grab a healthy snack if you want. Or a warm cup of whatever you like. Tea, whatever it is. Get comfortable because we are about to have a great conversation. Let's go. Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:02:50] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:03:20] Hello my friend and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversations bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building lives of faith, courage, purpose, and lasting legacy. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. And today I want to have a conversation about success.

[00:03:48] But probably not the kind you're expecting. I'm not going to tell you to dream smaller. I believe in building and creating and leading, becoming excellent at what God has called you to do. I believe there are ideas inside people listening right now that should become companies.

[00:04:15] It should become books, movements, ministries, inventions. Beautiful things that do not exist yet. Go build them. But while you're building, please pay attention to who is being built. Because success doesn't only change what is around us.

[00:04:40] If we aren't careful, the pursuit of it can quietly change something inside us too. Most of us know how to measure progress. Revenue, followers, growth, promotions, properties, awards, downloads, whatever the scoreboard happens to be. We ask, is it growing? Is it working? Are we winning? Are we winning yet?

[00:05:08] But how often do we stop and ask, what is this doing to me? Am I becoming more patient or less? More generous or more entitled? More present or permanently distracted? Am I becoming easier to love or harder to reach? Is my marriage becoming stronger as my life becomes bigger?

[00:05:39] Do my children know me or mostly know my schedule? Do the people closest to me receive the best of who I am or whatever happens to be left? Those numbers don't appear on a balance sheet, but one day they may become the numbers that matter most. There's something psychologically interesting about success.

[00:06:08] Success can change our environment. We may suddenly have more choices, more access, more influence, more people saying yes to us. And sometimes fewer people willing to tell us no. That matters because character is relatively easy to talk about when you don't have many options.

[00:06:33] The deeper test sometimes comes when you do, when nobody can stop you, when you can afford it. When people around you will justify whatever it is that you want to do.

[00:06:52] When your success becomes big enough that you can begin mistaking, I can for I should. But that is where ethos matters. Not the word on the wall, not the values printed in the company handbook. Your real ethos.

[00:07:18] The internal code that answers who am I? When I have the power to become someone else. I think most of us begin with an idea of who we want to become. Maybe when you had nothing, you said, if I ever make it, I will never forget where I came from. I'll take care of my wife and my children. I'm going to be generous.

[00:07:49] I'll never become arrogant. I'll always make time for my children. I'll never treat people the way I was treated. And I, I know I'm, I'm sure they mean it. I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure that they really, really do. But when life starts moving faster, success comes with responsibilities.

[00:08:16] More people need you, more opportunities arrive and slowly, and without some big dramatic moment where we announce we are changing. Our standards can become moving a little here, a little there. The family dinner becomes just not tonight.

[00:08:44] Then not this week. The phone comes to the table. The vacation becomes another place to jump on calls, answer emails. The spouse who used to hear every dream starts hearing decisions after they've already been made. And nobody wakes up one morning and says, today I think I'm going to become disconnected from everything I said once mattered.

[00:09:14] It happens quietly. That's why we have to notice it while it's still quiet. I've had seasons of this in my own life where my definition of success changed dramatically. Things I once thought mattered enormously eventually didn't.

[00:09:38] And things I may not have fully understood the value of before when we were dreaming so big about success. It, it changed. It just changed. It just changed. There was a new vision of success that became everything.

[00:10:01] To me, it was family, faith, being present, building something with my, my children, building something that, that they could actually be a part of. Creating a life where, where building didn't require the people I love to experience me from a distance. Well, I'm still learning. I'm still on the journey.

[00:10:30] I don't think that we're ever going to arrive at some perfect version of, of this. There's still days when, when I, I get, I get busy and it's not necessarily in the building busy. It's, you know, putting, putting the house in order, uh, cleaning up, cooking, doing the things that need to be. It's like mom busy.

[00:10:58] It's the mom busy and distracted, stressed out. Days when I have to catch myself and ask, wait, is this how I actually want to live? Like just one chore to the next chore to the next meal to the next meal and just taking a minute, taking a pause, right?

[00:11:24] Taking a pause and, and becoming who I want to be during that time. I mean, not, not everybody has it all set out. They don't have the, the, the, the personal chefs and all that stuff. So even in the moments when you're still juggling everything, how are you, how are you wanting to live the moments? Sometimes we don't need a new five-year plan.

[00:11:54] We need to remember the person we promised ourselves and God we would become. We just need to remember that, that person. I want to be stressed out. I want to be, don't be just rushing and rushing. Just pause for a minute. Pause for a minute. I know the other day, my son had the best idea.

[00:12:22] You're my favorite person to play with. I know his dad's pretty fun too, but you're my favorite person and you're always cooking and cleaning. And I love to cook and clean with you. And I love to do those things. But why don't we tell daddy to do more of that? And then we can play, play more rather than have them included in the chores and those types of things. With my daughter. And I thought, hmm, that's brilliant.

[00:12:52] I got to bring that up with my husband. I love it. So, so it's even in those little things, the little things while you're climbing and building and doing. And I want to share this with you. There's a verse in scripture that has, that has challenged generations because of how direct it is. Mark chapter eight, verse 36.

[00:13:19] Jesus asks, what good is it for someone to gain the world yet forfeit their soul? The whole world. Think about that. Everything. And yet Jesus asks us to consider whether it is possible to gain and still lose.

[00:13:49] That completely disrupts the way our culture defines success. Because perhaps the question isn't simply, did you win? Maybe it is, what did winning require you to become? And what did it cost? You know what I'm talking about. Not every cost is wrong.

[00:14:19] Anything meaningful, it requires sacrifice. We know this. But wisdom learns the difference between a sacrifice that builds something valuable and a sacrifice that destroys something irreplaceable.

[00:14:42] We all have witnessed that person that became something else or someone else once they reached success. All of a sudden, the person that stood by them in their young teenage years, or not teenage years, but their young adulthood, all of a sudden they got the money and they decided, yeah, I think I'm going to date the secretary or whatever it is, right?

[00:15:09] They date someone at work that's like, I don't know, years younger or just not the mom, just in a different place in her life that looks different. And they go for her. They leave their children behind, their wife behind, and they become this other person. And they don't have the friends that, that the godly men that say, what?

[00:15:38] Hey, what are you doing? God stewarded this opportunity to you. It's a test. What are you doing? Bro. Bro. In fact, they may have the friends that are like, God, yeah, now you can, now you can live this single life, the jet set life. You could have 20 Lamborghini, I don't know, whatever, whatever car you want. You can have the mansions.

[00:16:08] You can have all these things. You don't have to have the kids that drag you down. And they're just looking at the blessing in a different way. And then all of a sudden, that relationship didn't even work out. You left everything behind. Perhaps you even lose, perhaps you even lose the business. Now what? Now what?

[00:16:38] We were just talking about this in the community the other day about ethos. And I want to make this very clear. Ambition is not automatically the enemy. Money is not automatically the enemy. Success is not automatically the enemy. Influence isn't even the enemy. Build. Dream. Work hard. Become excellent. Create wealth.

[00:17:09] Employ people. Give them great opportunities. Give generously. You know? Change lives. Do extraordinary things with whatever God has placed in your hands. But don't become successful at building a life that you become unsuccessful at living one. The blessing that God gave you.

[00:17:38] The wife, the children, the leader to them. Because what is the point of building the beautiful house? If you get to that point, what is the point of building the beautiful house? You own it. Maybe you have a mortgage. Maybe you don't. But you're able to live in the dream house. If nobody inside of it feels close anymore.

[00:18:06] What is the point of having the freedom? Freedom. If your success made you unavailable to the people who you said you wanted freedom for. What is the point of being admired by thousands? If the people sitting at your dinner table, they don't know you or they miss you or have been hurt by you.

[00:18:34] That isn't an argument against success. It's an argument for whole success. Success that doesn't require you to destroy one part of your life, the best part of your life, to prove success in another. Because that's not success. Everybody saw. Everybody sees it. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this.

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[00:19:59] And honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. And here's a question I think we should ask ourselves occasionally. And maybe it's, it may be uncomfortable. If I continue living exactly the way I am right now for the next five years, do I like the person I'm becoming?

[00:20:29] Not, not. Will I make more money? Will the business grow? Will I reach the goal? Who will I become? Will my faith be stronger? Will my marriage be closer? Will my children know me deeply? Will I be more peaceful, more generous, grounded? Will I recognize myself?

[00:20:51] Because your decision or your decision matters when you make the decision on who you are going to become. Your direction matters much more than the intention where you are going. We can intend to be present someday or catch up on the relationships later. We can intend to slow down someday.

[00:21:22] Maybe marriage is bad right now, but I'm busy. So we can repair it someday. I intend to spend more time with the children someday. Someday, hopefully not when they're married already and gone with their own children. But if our calendar, if our calendar keeps moving in the opposite direction, eventually our life follows the calendar.

[00:21:50] I think this is why every person, every marriage, every family needs to know what they stand for before success tests it. What is non-negotiable? We were talking about this the other day and it hit, it hit people. I was, I was in tears when people were sharing.

[00:22:22] What is a non-negotiable? Faith? Family? Integrity? Right? Character? Generosity? What will you refuse to trade? Do you know? My children just did an episode on ethos too. Who, who, who, who you're becoming.

[00:22:51] You got to plant these, these seeds when you're little. Some parents they're, they, it's wild. It's wild. But some parents are like, you're going to make a lot of money, right? You're going to make a lot of money, right? Going to give everyone a lot of money. But who are you going to become? What kind of person are you going to become? Because you can get lost.

[00:23:20] And sometimes God only gives the opportunity one time. The blessing could only come one time. And you don't want to fail because your character wasn't ready to steward that blessing properly.

[00:23:39] When you, when you know, when you know what you stand for, when you know it's a non-negotiable, you know, you know, it's going to be faith. You know, it's going to be your holy covenant. You know, it's going to be integrity. And what, what will you die for? Because you could put a bunch of things that you think that you are.

[00:24:03] And this is what our, our friend Keaton was talking about the other day, but everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything. But who, I mean, but what things would you die for? What things would you die for? You got to remember that. You don't want to die. You don't want to die for money or fame. Hey, no. What will you refuse to trade?

[00:24:33] Even if the trade looked incredibly attractive because values are, are, are the easiest to declare before they become expensive. Integrity becomes real, right? You hear of so many people cheating or doing things that they said they never would do.

[00:25:03] When it, when keeping the integrity becomes real. When keeping it, it, it, when keeping it costs you something, loyalty becomes real. When other options appear, there's going to be tests, friends. Faith becomes real.

[00:25:29] When obedience is inconvenient and character becomes visible. When no one has enough power to force you to do the right thing. Right? That's easy. That's ethos. I can hear some people racing. I'm going to wait for that to pass. That is ethos.

[00:25:59] Not what you say matters. What still matters when you have enough power to choose otherwise. Grab your journals and something to write with. Maybe sometime today, I want you, or maybe right now, or maybe sometime I'm thinking I have so much to do. I was going to do this a little later again.

[00:26:28] So sit quietly and ask yourself, because of the way I'm living right now, am I becoming more present or more distracted, more humble or impressed with myself? Everybody's in different stages right now of their life.

[00:26:58] Some of us are doing amazing. Some of us are struggling. I almost feel like if, if, if I'm praying for everyone struggling, but maybe if you're struggling right now, this is the best time to do it. Because life goes up and down many times and you want to know who you are before life can get crazy. Right? Are you more generous or more protective of what I have?

[00:27:30] Am I closer to God or more dependent on applause? Am I closer to my spouse or simply sharing an address? Do my children receive my attention or are they competing for it?

[00:27:54] And finally, if I continue exactly like this for five years, do I like the person I'm becoming? Don't answer quickly. Don't answer quickly. Let yourself sit with it. Because sometimes the honest answer can change the direction of an entire life, of an entire family. Okay, friends, let's come together in prayer.

[00:28:24] I always like, I always love to say it when two or more come together in prayer. It's powerful. Heavenly Father, thank you for every dream, every vision that you have for us, every gift, every opportunity and calling you have placed inside us.

[00:28:46] Give us courage to build boldly, but wisdom to build rightly. Never allow what we accomplish to become more important than who we become. Protect our hearts from pride. Protect our marriages from neglect.

[00:29:09] Protect our children from receiving only what is left of us and our marriages too, our beautiful spouses. Give us character to when success gives us options. Integrity, when compromise would be easier. Humility, when people begin applauding.

[00:29:40] And discernment to recognize when something we are building is quietly building something unhealthy inside us. Lord, if we have drifted, bring us back. Back to you. Back to what matters. Back to the people we love. Back to the person you created us to become.

[00:30:06] May every blessing you placed in our hands be stewarded in a way that honors you. In Jesus name. Amen. My friends, go build the life God placed in your heart. Build the business. Write the book. Create the dream. Take the risk. Take the risks. Take the risks.

[00:30:36] I know it's hard, but just take the risks. Become excellent. But every once in a while, stop climbing long enough to turn around and look. Who's beside you? Who are you building it with? Who have you become? Does the life you're building still reflect the values you began with?

[00:31:06] If perhaps the answer makes you uncomfortable, that doesn't mean your story is over. It may simply mean it's time to course correct. You can come home. You can put the phone down. You can apologize. You know, sometimes it's hard, but you can apologize. You can change the calendar. You can rebuild a habit. You can remember what mattered.

[00:31:37] Before the world started telling you what should. Because perhaps one of the greatest forms of success is reaching the place you prayed for. With your faith intact. With your character intact. With your holy covenant intact. With your little babies. All still holding your hand. Don't only ask, what am I building?

[00:32:07] Ask, what is everything I'm building in me? Because eventually the life you build and the person you become while building it will become the legacy you leave behind. And so don't let it die with you. Don't let it die with you. Oh my goodness. We see that. We see that. Don't we? Someone made it big and it just, it died with them.

[00:32:36] Their family has nothing to do with it. If this conversation made you stop and think, share it with someone you're building life with. Or share it with a friend that's building something big. And if becoming unshakable has become part of your week. Make sure you follow the show and leave five stars in a kind review.

[00:33:02] It helps more people discover these conversations that, that change their family, that change their life, that really help them pour into the thing that matters the most. And if you have children in your life, come listen to Daniel and Destiny on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. Screen free learning created to plant seeds of faith, courage, leadership, character, and purpose in the next generation.

[00:33:29] And if you love to help them keep creating these shows and reaching more families, you can leave a beautiful gift at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids. It, uh, it, it honestly, they are so grateful when that happens because they know that the hard work that they're putting into it matters.

[00:33:55] And yes, I have had some messages saying that someone wanted to buy me a coffee. My goodness. Yes. You can leave a, you can leave a gift there for me too. And this show and the, the, the mission that we're, that we're working so hard on. You can, you can, you can leave a gift there too.

[00:34:19] Just leave a little note, leave your at handle so I could DM you and give you a big air hug because that is so sweet. And, um, any, every little gift, it helps us continue building something that we pray will impact generations. And thank you for building with us. Thank you for pouring into your families and caring and being here and, uh, may God bless what you are building.

[00:34:49] But even more, may he bless who you are becoming. May success never, never make you forget what, what struggle taught you. Cause we've all, we've all been in the struggle, right? Don't let success let you forget that. May opportunity never, ever, ever, ever cost you integrity. I'm praying for you guys. I'm praying for your success all the time. Okay.

[00:35:19] I want everyone listening to not only be successful in their, their family, or maybe I should switch that around, not only in your business, but I, the most important thing. The most important thing is for you to be successful in your family. So don't lose the integrity. And I know you guys won't, but sometimes we just have to have conversations.

[00:35:44] Sometimes we don't have people around us that will call us out. They'll talk behind backs. Oh my gosh. I can't believe Jim's doing this. What? What? I can't believe whatever, whatever it is. That made me laugh. I can't believe they're doing that. Oh my goodness. But you have the good people calling you out and calling you up. And I hope that this podcast can do that.

[00:36:16] May achievement never become more important than presence in your family. May the people you love never have to lose you. Please. May that never happen. May they never lose you in order for the world to find you. Cause I promise they forget famous, funny, famous, funny. I mean, even building a company, there's no more Simpson-Sears.

[00:36:45] I remember my mom used to talk about being a style. My mom had a few different jobs when she first came to Canada. Like Simpson Sears and, and these things that aren't even around anymore. Could you imagine losing the people that meant the most for the world to find you? And then later the world forgets all about it.

[00:37:07] May you, may every blessing entrusted to your hands become, become, to really become something that strengthens your faith, your family and generations still to come. God bless you. Glory to God. Glory to God. Always. We love you. Keep building strong families, strong futures, and an unshakable legacy.

[00:37:35] This is becoming unshakable by the entrepreneur parents podcast. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God. Always. I can't wait to talk to you soon. Thank you, beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast.

[00:38:03] It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. Unforgettable Family Legacy. God bless you.

[00:38:30] And parents, if no one told you yet, let us be the fox. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only.

[00:38:55] And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight. And are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. And as our audience. We'll switch over to here to review your life and your life and your life and your