The Truth Bomb About Burnout!

[00:00:00] There's this silent war inside every entrepreneur parent and I call it a war because there's a struggle between the grind and what one would call the garden which is more of a peaceful vibe and there's one part of your brain that's saying you gotta hustle harder, you gotta push harder and then the other side is telling you the truth and we all know that truth of being still.

[00:00:30] And no, and I'm not. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe? Yeah! Yeah. She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:00:56] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Today was the last day of your life. Would you want to do what you're about to do today?

[00:01:21] If the answer is no too many days in a row, something needs to change. Quote by Steve Jobs. Quote up. It's not the price you have to pay for success. Quote by Ariana Huffington. Hey guys, welcome back to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell.

[00:01:44] And I'm here with my, again, I'm here with my beautiful wife and co-host and partner and person sitting next to me. And my name is Ildiko Ferenzi. And I'm so happy to be with you guys this week for a very important topic. Yeah, we have another great podcast for you guys that I think is important because everybody goes through this at some point.

[00:02:11] I feel like, I know we have, I know it's just something that everybody deals with. You know, have you ever felt like you were like parenting and trying to build your business and trying to keep this great marriage going? And it's not feeling the same. The things are, the wins, the losses are piling up. When you do get the wins, they're not feeling as fulfilling. Everything feels kind of gray.

[00:02:40] Well, we're talking about burnout. I mean, we're talking about burnout. We're talking about the truth bomb about burnout that people don't want to talk about. But before we get into that... Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk Podcast. And if you are and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button, it just takes a second. It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there to more listeners like you guys.

[00:03:08] And if you know anybody that might help and you can send it to them, we really appreciate that too. We also love and appreciate your reviews. Even the babies look forward to them every day. If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us. We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business. And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero. That's worth a shout out. And we want to share this episode together. We have a community of our personal followers as well.

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[00:03:58] You know, when you really think about it, there's this silent war inside every entrepreneur parent. And I call it a war because there's a struggle between the grind and what one would call the garden, which is more of a peaceful vibe. And there's one part of your brain that's saying, you got to hustle harder. You got to push harder.

[00:04:26] And then the other side is telling you the truth. And we all know that truth of being still and know that I am God. So there's those two sides just wrestling over each other. And somewhere between, I don't know, the sales funnels and the late night diaper changes and the dinner table strategy sessions. And is it do we talk about business during dinner?

[00:04:55] Do we talk about our dreams? All these things are kind of tugging at you and it's chipping away. And we forget that God never calls us to burn out to prove our worth, which is likely what we're all doing as entrepreneur parents. He calls us to burn bright for his glory. And we just have to remember that in everything we do, even if it's business.

[00:05:21] Because here's the thing, the enemy can't destroy your marriage and your purpose and your kids just through when you're walking the right path and when you're in that right direction. He's going to distract you with different hustles. And you're not even going to notice it because obviously you're trying to put bread on the table.

[00:05:47] But he's going to convince you that being exhausted means you're more important. I even dealt with this before I had children, that whole hustle culture. And that business is a badge and this hustle and working so hard, it's a badge. But God doesn't need you burned out to use you. He needs you available and whole and present and obedient.

[00:06:14] Because when you're exhausted, you're not going to make the best decisions. You're not going to make the best investments. So it's really this struggle of are you burning out or are you building your legacy? Because you can't build a legacy if you're always running on empty. It's impossible. It's impossible. Burnout doesn't honor your calling. It's going to hijack it.

[00:06:39] I think it's important, too, to understand the difference between being tired and depleted because of this burnout. Because when you have, I think being tired, I think the difference is, and you tell me if you have a different perspective on this. But I think the difference is that when you're tired, you can replenish yourself.

[00:07:03] Getting sleep, getting some calm in your life, finding some time for yourself or whatever that is, it can replenish you and you come back bigger and better. But when you're burned out, there's almost a way of not getting out of that. It's like I said at the top of the podcast, the world's like gray, like the winds don't feel good. You're feeling like you're running in place, like on a treadmill.

[00:07:32] You're trying to figure out how to do better with your kids. You're feeling like you're not winning in any area. You have your kids and you're trying to spend time with them, but it never feels like enough. You're trying to work on your business, but it never feels like enough. It doesn't feel like you're doing enough in any area of your life. And that burnout starts to set in. And it's hard for entrepreneurs because we want to do, we feel like we're winners.

[00:08:01] We feel like we want to be our best in every area of our life. And sometimes it's just not always possible. And when you're trying so hard, it really gets a piece of you. It can really take you down and you get that mom guilt that there's entrepreneurial guilt, too. You know, not not working on your business like you should feeling like, oh, everybody else. You see all these people on Instagram killing it. Most of it's not even real. And yeah, but they but they're putting their they're putting it out there to the world.

[00:08:31] And you're inwardly going, I'm not killing it right now. And on top of that, I didn't hardly see my kids last night. And on top of that, my wife's mad at me because I did this, that or the other. And I feel like I can't win in any area of my life. So I'm just, you know, you're starting to feel like that big F. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells?

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[00:09:52] Click the link below down in the bio and get your Sheila J today. Yeah. You get, you get to that where you're living in this chronic low grade flight or fight due to the juggling of identities. And, and you're doing the leadership or the spouse or the visionary or the parent. And that's going to lead, it actually leads to adrenal fatigue, irritability and disconnection.

[00:10:20] Those things, when that happens, then it's going to lead to illness. So this is, this is a very important tango that we're doing here. Emotional numbness. That's how, that's what I was trying to think of that word. Um, I, emotional numbness. That's the feeling you get. And I've been there. So I, I, I know that feeling where you're, you're trying to create something in all these areas and you're just, and when, and even when the winds happen, you're just feeling like.

[00:10:48] I can't have emotional. As a mom, you can't have emotional numbness. Well, I think you go through it and you don't even know it because it lash, you know, it comes out in other areas. It comes out and lashing out at your kids or depression or feeling tired. You know, there's all kinds of ways that can show up in your life, but you know, what are the signs that, that you're going through? What are other signs that you're going through this kind of burnout? I mean, I'm sure you, you've felt it in certain areas of your life when you've done it.

[00:11:16] Well, I think that you feel it deeply in your soul. Not, I think I know you feel it deeply in your soul. But what do you do? You have to be present. I was just looking at a picture the other day or a little video and I was holding the baby. I was holding destiny.

[00:11:36] She was just a little newborn and I was looking at her and I was smiling and it just, it made me cry or she was, she was actually nursing, but you can't tell in the little video. And it made me so emotional because I was living the actual, my best life that I prayed for. But forget about, forget about the building the business and stuff.

[00:12:02] I mean, that stress was surely behind everything because the world stopped. And I was literally at least saying how crazy it is that I'm living the best moment here. I'm feeling so much love, so many blessings.

[00:12:18] But at the same time, I was secretly choking back tears because I was, I was tragically fighting for my life and going through incredibly painful treatments. And these were all secrets and I'm, I'm not fully ready to share it, but I'm just going to share that you can have both of those emotions.

[00:12:45] And, you know, of course there's a stress of, oh, I got to make money and I got to, I got to do great. I got to be successful. I got to look good. But then some of us have to deal with someone telling you that you might not be here in a few months. And then all of a sudden you're like, you're not ready. You're not ready. You're not ready. You're not ready to hear that. And especially it's like, well, I was just given my best life.

[00:13:14] I want to enjoy it. I don't want to be dealing with this other stuff right now. But at the same time, again, it just makes me so emotional that how did God give me this, this beautiful blessing. Just to be so happy when I'm actually crumbling secretly inside.

[00:13:38] But this joy just holding, like it just brought me back to that moment of holding destiny and little Daniel with his hand on my shoulder. And we're all at the park. And it hurts so bad to go to walk, to do all these things. But I was just given all these blessings. And I kept pushing forward because God was so good to give me those rewards. Isn't that it?

[00:14:08] Maybe it's the reward. It's the reward, the blessing and being present because I could have stayed home and I could have just been crying about the situation. And I'm too sore. I'm too sore. There was many days when I couldn't leave. I was bound at home and, and I couldn't, I couldn't carry her yet. Like you would put her in my lap and I wasn't able to walk around with her, but I was sitting on the, on the bench or the step.

[00:14:37] I can't remember. I'll probably put it on our Instagram, but what a feeling to be just enjoying and, and living that moment and the blessings. But really you're dealing with this, this weight, this weight and this, this, whatever you're going through. I guess the point is the point through all of this. I'm just like, really, I'd so joyful for me to see that because I remember how happy I was.

[00:15:06] You need to be present in order to be prepped. Don't let this stuff consume you. It's just a business. It's just, it's just money. You can rebuild another business. You can, and, and I know, I know just yes, but there are things like, and I can't, I guess I can't really paint the picture for someone that's never gone through this type of thing.

[00:15:30] Because you kind of put the weight on what's important for you. But I feel, I just, I guess I invite you to come back and just really put things in perspective. Just remember that you have the children and perhaps you're listening and you're hoping and you're still praying for that children. Like, like we did for many years, but perhaps, perhaps you have the child.

[00:15:58] Imagine, just kind of imagine the torment and the, the pain that's going through those, those people's hearts that don't have the child. And again, it, it, it goes back to gratitude. So this exhaustion, and let me tell you, there's nothing more exhausting than fighting for your life.

[00:16:16] It's exhausting if you don't have little babies in the trenches and having to be up all night nursing and, and, and making really important decisions on what kind of medical care and, and treatments you're going to be getting. So you could continue, like, it's emotionally, like when I think back, I'm like, how did I, how did I do it? Well, it was God. So you have to have a faith so strong.

[00:16:43] And it was crazy because, I mean, when we first met our faith was, we were all, we were brought up like that, but I would say that it wasn't a priority. And before the babies were born, all of a sudden I just felt this, this calling to be really deeply like connected with my faith. And it was so weird because I wasn't even. Well, we both had faith in our backgrounds. Yeah. We just, it wasn't a priority. It was probably a good thing.

[00:17:08] Well, it is, I mean, we would pray, but it's like when we remembered to, ever since I found out, actually before, before I got pregnant, it's like there was the journey of, I feel called, like I just want to, we were going, we were going to church and we were just getting called back into it.

[00:17:28] And it's, it's weird because I think back and I'm like, was that, was it not, not that it was a test, but I didn't know that I would need, a lot of people they'll fall into the tragedy or the problem or the bankruptcy. And then they start praying. But it was interesting to see that there was this pull, this gravitational pull towards us as a couple to go back.

[00:17:58] And then these things started happening. And more than ever, that was what we were going to lean on. That was the only thing. It wasn't just like, oh, I'm going to read some quotes and that's going to inspire me. It had to be so much deeper. And then the blessings of a child, are you kidding me? You have an angel from heaven in your arms. And remember that that's what it is. It does a little peek into heaven.

[00:18:25] Even the feeling right after you have your baby, it's this, there's, there's something greater. There's literally something greater in that room. But I think it's having that blessing at the same time. Yes, we're so lucky. If you can concentrate on that, I think that's part of the way of getting out of this burnout. Yeah. Because if you're stuck, you're not feeling this. Something has to pull you out. You're starting to withdraw and you're having this emotional numbness in life. You could lay in bed, literally. You're getting quiet.

[00:18:55] Because I think for men, what we do is women, I don't want to, it's not a blanket quote, but women complain and men withdraw. That's in our purest form of going through something. Our way of dealing with it is men withdraw, women voice their opinion. It depends.

[00:19:45] That's what I'm going through always. And I need to work it through. I need a plan. I need to know that I'm going to be safe. I need to know that someone can carry this through with me. And I feel like a lot of that, when I was, if I could do it a different way, I feel like when I was going through the scariest time, I was handling a lot of things by myself.

[00:20:13] When it comes to health stuff, I deal with that stuff silently. But then again, I have God who's, you know, my, who do we, even if we don't have fathers in our life, we, that's our, our strong, our best connection. The best connection is, and that gives me comfort. And if there's any of you out there, men or women whose father wasn't there because they just weren't taught.

[00:20:40] This is the thing you just, and this is so strong. This I'm going off topic because this is important. You have to, have to explain to your children. This isn't about hanging out with someone because you're lonely or you need to date to marry. It's not just hook, this, this hookup culture is causing so many problems and it's going to cause so many abandoned children.

[00:21:08] And we as abandoned children have to like be together and just realize we have our father and he's like telling me to cut it. But we have our father in heaven. Just know you're not, you're not alone. You have your father in heaven. Please just know that. Of course. And teach your kids it's to date to marry. Know exactly as, as children, paint the picture. What is it that you want when you grow up?

[00:21:37] Because God forbid you get together with someone and then, you know, it's not going to work out. And then boom, there it is. There's the problem. And, and I know that here, I mean, you, you were dealt a lot, but I think that when you, we were going through that and that was, you know, a few years ago when we were going through that. And it's about five, five years ago now.

[00:22:02] They, I think that the one thing it's like, how, how good is God that he'll deliver? He'll give you a baby. Yeah. And then also he knows, I mean, you know, of course we don't, we can't explain everything, but you also received this, this issue at the same time, this diagnosis. Well, it was, it's crazy to learn then.

[00:22:24] To have this beautiful baby that we're dealing, you know, that we have this beautiful baby who didn't, was, was the brightness in this whole situation. This, this, the one piece of light in this, in this horrible diagnosis that we were dealing with. And it's really what got us through that. I know it's what got you through. I mean, that was. A hundred percent. That's what I was thinking.

[00:22:49] Every time I would come into the hospital with the, with, with Destiny, your eyes would just light up. Like, you know, and I would, I knew, and, and going back to watch the videos, I could see that this is what was getting you through those moments. Yeah. Destiny and Daniel. Daniel. It's like so crazy. And of course, Daniel too. But you know, it's just like at that moment.

[00:23:14] Well, he had the words because he was already speaking and he would, he would like, what is more powerful than when you're, you've taught your little babies to pray. Well, I mean, she was a newborn, but I taught, I, that's our responsibility, right? Nothing's more important to your business. You're making your money, your bank account. It's, are you teaching them to speak to God?

[00:23:37] And he already knew just as a little two and a half year old, he would pray for me and say the most powerful words. And it's like, how can you be sad when you have this little angel, literally an angel saying, you can do it, mommy. You are so blessed. You are healthy and healed. God has you. Like, where were these words coming from? God, it's so crazy.

[00:24:04] It's hard because when, when marriages deal with these, when they're coming up against this, you know, an issue like this, when they're, when the family's feeling burnout, when the husband's feeling burnout, the wife's feeling burnout, you know, and it causes so much tension on the marriage that, you know, that's, it's where the divorce comes from. Always in the first few years after the baby.

[00:24:29] I think it's a lot of, both sides need to realize how the other's dealing with it. Because, you know, if in a marriage, if the husband looks like he's pulling back, if the husband looks like he's getting quiet, if he's, if he's finding a cave to hide in or, or finding other things to keep himself occupied, know that he's probably going through. He's probably going through something. So how do we pull him out of that?

[00:24:57] You know, we, these men are living lives. I mean, all this stuff is resting on their shoulders because ultimately, you know, um. I think we need to raise our sons better because they can't go in a cave. Listen, I'm telling you, this is statistics and the psychologist confirmed it. A woman will never forget ever, ever elephant memory.

[00:25:22] She will never forget how she was treated while she was pregnant and postpartum. She will never forget it. I'm not talking about pregnancy. No, but this is a mother. This is a mother. Of course, but you're going, you also have women that are lashing out at men. Because she's not quite normal. Both sides need to realize that. They need to be prepared while they're children to understand. Listen, she's going through stuff. She is going to be different.

[00:25:51] It's hormonal. Read your books, men. Read your books, men, about the psychology. I mean, I'm not talking about when they're pregnant. Right now, and I'm going to link it. It's about the female brain, about a scientist that studies women's brains. Men need to be prepared for this stuff. And it's so lucky that Daniel has a sister because he gets to understand this stuff early. They're going to go through hormones.

[00:26:18] And men, and what's beautiful in Daniel is that he's calm and he understands it and he leads it. So I know he's going to be an incredible husband. And he's not going to run away and, oh, my emotions. No. He bites it and he pushes through. And then they talk it out. They communicate. If you can't communicate. Both sides have to realize what the other's going through. You can't slip out. I've never sworn at you.

[00:26:47] I've never raised a hand at you. I know that there's these women in our community that literally, their men just have to, what did they say? That they hold them in like a bear lock and they just start kissing and loving them. And then all of a sudden they said they could feel their wife, like, feels like she's passing out in their arms. You and I aren't like that because you have your stuff from when you were a kid.

[00:27:15] And then me, I have to soothe myself. I'm a single mom's daughter. So I have to soothe myself, which is also toxic. So it's like I have to. I didn't have a dad. So I just soothe myself. So I know like when he's getting emotional, then I have to just pull back on my emotions. And I cannot. You have daddy issues. I cannot freak out. I cannot because that'll trigger him. These are our issues in our own relationship. And I can't trigger him.

[00:27:44] I could, if I were to actually freak out like these women and I don't want to like, it's nothing again. It's just they weren't, as you were saying, they weren't maybe taught to go walk through their emotion. But how beautiful that they have these husbands that are fatherly, that can walk them through the emotions. I'll probably never know what that's like because my body won't let me go there. Like it won't let me freak out that way.

[00:28:12] Plus I have, you know, children. I have to handle it in the most elegant way. But yes, we are. All of us are fighting things. But the thing is, you need to know how your spouse handles their, yes. And then you have to walk them through. I know, you know, you handle things differently. I handle things differently.

[00:28:34] And therapy, you know, maybe that's the place that I break down and cry and show all my emotions and maybe fall on the floor. I don't know because I've never been able to go there. I've never been able to break down. I've never all my life. That's so crazy. So anyway, everybody's dealing with it different. And we're here together as couples to help each other through our journey.

[00:29:03] We're not going to get in the doors of heaven if we don't. Yeah, I think. You know, we're just not. Both sides need to understand how the spouse is going to be dealing with things. And they have to be considerate of those things that they're going through. Yeah. And if you understand how they deal with that type of pressure and you realize that that's what they're going through. Some people are more sensitive than others. There's a way to meet each other in the middle. And so that both sides are okay and both sides can get through it.

[00:29:30] Because typically if one side's dealing with it, many times the other side is going through the same thing. Because it's a family issue. Whatever that might be. If that's money or time or outside issues or health problems, both sides of the family are probably dealing with it. That's why you're so close. Yeah, that's right. Having, you know, homeschooling our kids.

[00:29:57] It's all of that coming together can be pressure, this immense pressure to be great at everything and ultimately feeling like you're good at none of it. Listen up, friends. You don't want to miss this one. It may be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Are you an entrepreneur, a parent, or someone building something that truly matters? Well, then you need to hear this.

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[00:31:46] And then I think it's so important just to put on the glasses and look through it in a different color. And then just start. I really do feel, I really believe with all my heart, it's the gratitude. It's the looking at the blessings. That is going to give you the strength, even when you're exhausted. But of course, you know, the things that you need to do, you know you need to go to bed on time.

[00:32:15] You know you need to drink your water. If you're having junk food, you know that stuff is toxic and it's killing you slowly, let's be honest. You need to start having the whole foods, the home-cooked meals. And it's going to have to become a habit. I don't feel like cooking. A lot of times I don't feel like cooking. And sometimes I'll order something. But you know what? I'm screwed that way.

[00:32:40] Because my daughter has these bland takeout foods and then she won't eat it anyway. So I'm stuck. I don't like this stuff. That's not what she wants. I like your cooking. Mommy, I only want to eat what you cook. So then I'm stuck either way. So it's like, don't be lazy, Ildiko. Just make the home-cooked meal. And then it becomes... And it's not that I'm lazy. This is just something that... This is a childhood thing.

[00:33:09] Because my mom was such a hustler, my biggest fear was being lazy and not having everything perfect. These are my own personal thoughts. So it may not have landed with you. Yeah, that's the fight that everybody goes through. And some on different levels. Different levels, yes. But the fact that you're arguing with yourself, you're having these inward arguments with yourself, trying to do your best in all areas, but always feeling like you're coming up short sometimes.

[00:33:37] When really, you give four home-cooked meals, and then the two days or three days that you didn't give a home-cooked meal, you're feeling like a failure as a mom. I don't think we even go that long. Because then she won't eat, and then she'll sit and starve. Well, yeah, but that's what I mean. I mean in general for everybody. Yeah. And maybe it's just like, okay, tough. I guess you won't eat this meal. I don't know. I don't know. We're still... I think everybody's figuring it out.

[00:34:05] But it's interesting to just vocalize it and say it out loud and just understand that we're all in the same boat as parents, and we're all going through it. So I guess here we go. What are some things... Because I know we're on a little tight schedule. We have a call with a few clients in a moment here. But what are things that we could do for this 90-day burnout reset? Reset.

[00:34:35] Reset. Reset. Reset. Um, maybe we... What do you think about the schedule reset as if your investors require it? Because I know God needs it. How about we schedule rest? And this isn't a how about or maybe. I'm just trying to politely suggest it to you guys.

[00:35:01] Because you know you need to start pulling back the time. Because I know once we put the kids to bed, then we start... Our brain starts going, what are the things that you can do in your life to just get into that? But rather than doing the checklist and all that... Sure, write everything down.

[00:35:25] But start to get that relaxing feeling so you could sleep, so you could turn off the wheels. That's what you need to start doing. That's a priority. Get your rest. You know what you need to do. Because women's heads will keep spinning. They will. What do you mean? I need to buy this. I need to do this. That's another thing. Men won't stop. They'll go till 3 in the morning. They'll never stop. And it's the same thing. So you need to shut it down. They won't let down their family.

[00:35:53] So they'll keep pushing and doing whatever they need to do to keep going. And they'll quietly keep all of that inside. And then it's toxic because that's not actually helping. Because then everything falls apart for both sides. You're not good if you can't... And that's why if you're not good, your whole family's not going to be good. So you have to find ways to work on yourself, whether that be exercise, getting rest, all of these things. If you're not good, your family's not going to be good. Yeah. And men, you're going to have to help the women.

[00:36:23] Because as nursing moms, we are going to be up all night. And women need more sleep. And people forget that. Women need more sleep than men. So make sure she gets her naps in. I didn't get any of that stuff. But if I could do it again, I would be more careful. You, what are you talking about? I would tell you, go lay down. And then I would look in there. You'd be on your phone. You'd be in there on your phone laying in bed. Working. I know because you won't put it down. No, but that's not true. You wouldn't put it down.

[00:36:52] I never got my rest. I never got my rest. And sometimes I would try to wake you up in the middle of the night. But you would not wake up. Well, I wasn't. Yeah, because I didn't want to wake up. So then during the day, are you kidding me? You know how to make eggs. That's it. But so it's like I have no choice. Like I have to push. I don't even I don't even remember when I've ever had a rest, like rest, rest. But we have to make it a priority. Come on now.

[00:37:21] I'm not saying you took it, but I would say go lay down. Okay, here. Okay, well, let's do these tactics. And then I do actually want to lay down. That's a different story. It's not that I didn't want to lay down. You can't. When you have someone throw up or you have these things happen. When you're in the trenches, you can't. You like you can't. You don't think I would have took care of that? Like I would have took care of that. Dad. Seriously. Dad.

[00:37:51] When you clean up. What are you talking about? No. I watched the kids all day yesterday. They were great. They were great. Here's the thing. They're also not babies anymore. It was a great day. We played. We vacuumed. We did the dishes like 20 times. I did their homework with them. It's like I got it all done. It was fine. Yeah. We had a great day. And I do appreciate that. I do appreciate that. And I told you. And I tell you this. What do I tell you every time? You say, oh, I didn't get this done.

[00:38:20] I didn't get my... I need to do this post. And I need to write this person back. I need... I said, don't come home. Do the work while you're out there. How many times have I told you that? I said, don't come home. Do the work before you come home. So then you can get it all done. Of course you're not going to have... Because as soon as you come in the house, the kids are going to run towards you and they're going to want your time. So I'm trying to give you that free time. No, it doesn't work that way.

[00:38:49] Because I have one day out of the house and it's just like too much. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Not one day out of the house. It is. It is. I tell you, go out and do it any day. You can go out if you need to get things done. I've told you that a million times. If you have to get something done, go get it done. Oh my God. You say things, but here's the thing. Like I need the action to back it up. Besides, did you go somewhere on Tuesday? You went somewhere on Tuesday. You went somewhere on Friday. You went somewhere on Saturday. What? So you were out three days this week.

[00:39:19] So I'm telling you, please don't say that because that's not true. You went out three days this week and you got stuff done. And I told you, be out as long as you want to be out so you can get the stuff done. Stop. I managed the house like a king. Stop. I came home Tuesday. I had kids doing homework. I had this baby crying. Kids doing homework. House was clean. Dishes were done. We're having an argument because I come home on Tuesday. And I come home to this baby girl screaming. I think. I think.

[00:39:48] Daddy didn't feed me all day. And then that gives me anxiety going, oh my God, I can never leave again. One thing didn't get done. So she's bawling for hours. What are you talking about? And sometimes when. One thing didn't get done. No, but it's hard because for my brain. They just didn't get fed a second time. I get anxiety as a mom. I'm like, oh my God, I can never. Like this is the first week that I had three meetings. Like I'm starting to get my pink back.

[00:40:16] And I had these important meetings. She was fasting a little bit. Because we're dealing with a book. She was fasting. And I'm like, oh my God, I can never go. She was fasting. But usually I take them. What are you talking about? She was fasting. Stop. She had breakfast. She just didn't quite have a full lunch. And then on Friday. She had a shake. I made a shake for her. They pull me in the bathroom and going, mommy, you can never leave again. This is Daniel's word. And I have him to vouch for it. You can never leave again. What are you talking about?

[00:40:46] So this is hard. Because I make them do their homework. That's why. That's the difference. I'll make sure they do their homework. Stop. They didn't want to do their homework. I don't know what happened. I'm not going to say what happened exactly. Okay. So come on now. Stop. Hey, let's not have this full on fist of cuffs. Fight on podcast. I'm not fighting. I'm just stating why it's scary. The one time I have to leave three times. Let's end this out. Let's give some solid advice.

[00:41:15] Because they're not getting nothing from us going back and forth. Well, they could probably say, oh, okay. So our life is heaven. Just know we're all going through it. Our life is heaven. We're all going through it. These people are really going through some things. Speak for yourself. Okay, go. I need support. Kids need rest. Kids need rest. Or parents need rest too. Okay, what are we on next?

[00:41:44] You're lost without me. Okay. Okay. So three for 30 rule. Three soul filling activities weekly. 30 minutes with your spouse. No phones. I'm looking at you, bro. And no business talk. And I know this is hard because as entrepreneur parents and you're building the business together, you just have to do it. You have to do it.

[00:42:10] It's hard because when your kids are looking at you and your head's in your phone and you're feeling this. And your spouse too. And your spouse, yeah. And you're like your head's in and you're trying to do work and you're feeling like this is for the family. But that same, that guilt, also the anger from the other side, you know, dad, play with me. All the things. It's hard. All the things. It's hard. So just take it as let's start with, and I know a lot of you guys are going to have more time than this, but I'm talking about people that are in the trenches.

[00:42:41] 30 minutes. 30 minutes is not hard to accomplish. When was the last time you shut down the lights? You don't. Yes. Yes. Date night is important. But if you can't, you don't have the community and it's just you two. Remember, you guys are the community. When was the last time you dimmed the lights, you lit a couple candles, and you did your best to prepare something just to take it off her plate or vice versa? But like, it's really important. Keep the date night going.

[00:43:11] You can do it at home. Just create a little bit of an atmosphere. When was the last time? Just ask yourself. And set up like 30 minutes. If you can go longer, great. But just make a mental note of that. And then white space day. One day a week with no output. Just input. Worship. Talk. Wonder. Talking about dreams. That's kind of our Sunday. Taking what we used to call it. And we don't. I want to do this more.

[00:43:41] I do this when you're out of town with the kids. We'll do. My mom used to call it sightseeing. Sightseeing. We're going sightseeing. And we would go look at houses or places and just dream big. How are you going to build your home? What are you going to do in the future? Dreaming. And the one thing that was so cool. I was just talking about this to you the other day. About how when I turned 18.

[00:44:10] And this is a little bit off topic. But I want you guys to do great things with your children. My mother was a single mom. And she made things happen. When I graduated, she said, where did you want to go? Where do you want to go? Where in the world? Anywhere? Is it Paris? She goes, can I suggest Nice? And we did. We went to Paris. We went to the Eiffel Tower. But she took me to Nice. We saw the most beautiful sights. And then we went to Dublin. And then we went to Scotland.

[00:44:39] And then we went to Italy. And then we went to Hungary. And that wasn't our first rodeo. Because we did it all my life. And she took me to the most beautiful cafe in Hungary. Which I've been to before in the past. But she was taking me to all these things. I said, why are you taking me to all these beautiful places? She said, because I'm setting your standards high. Why? Because they don't want you to accept mediocrity in your life.

[00:45:05] So whatever that standard is in your life, whatever you can do, do that with your wife, with your family. If your parents set the bar high, do that with your spouse. And do better. Just push yourself to do better. I don't know. Do you want to add anything to that? Well, I think, well, I don't know to that. But I think one of the things, another quick remedy. This is just the dreaming. How can you dream? And set the bar high.

[00:45:34] Is to, we've got to delegate when we can. You know, if that means that you need a housekeeper so that you have more time with your family. If that means that you have an assistant that can put out those emails for you. How do you find more time in your life through delegation? And how do you find more time with your kids and family time? You can. It's out there. You don't need to be doing everything.

[00:46:02] I know we micromanage ourselves and we become these people who feel like that they need to be the one pushing the button on send all the time. And you don't. You need to find ways to bring other people in your life. It's worth spending the small amount of money to be able to delegate these things, especially with all the, you know, with Upwork and all these different programs out there that you can, systems out there that can help you with that. Oh my gosh, now with AI?

[00:46:31] Yeah, I mean with AI. It's just, there's so many things that you can do to find more time in your life and you got to look to how to do that. And take it. And just, I think what's important is when you bring that up. Um, I know there's a lot of moms in our community that are giving birth right now. And this, this is something it's, it's really a topic that is big right now.

[00:46:56] They, they're feeling frustrated because they're having the newborn babies and people are coming over and guard your wives guys. If you need to go to another country, like if you know what kind of people you have in your community, but this is what they're dealing with. And I'm going to share you with you something that is, I feel like moms just need to speak up.

[00:47:20] It's not about, Hey, I'll hold the baby so I could watch you do your housework. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you're coming over, you bring food that you cooked from scratch that is going to nourish this mommy. And then number two, no, you're not going to hold the baby until you help her get whatever she's suffering with in the trenches. And I will be the advocate that it's not, I'll hold the baby.

[00:47:49] No, let her hold the baby in peace while you help her with whatever laundry or food or whatever needs to be done, take over and she will never forget it. And I'm telling you, people don't forget how they were treated when they were pregnant. And in postpartum. So this is just a little conversation that I'm having with the mothers in our community. And it is such a good point. If you can share it and normalize this, because I feel like people don't know when they think that they're helping.

[00:48:19] It's like, Oh, I'll hold the baby while you could barely walk. You're still bleeding or you have stitches or whatever, whatever you're going through. No, let her sit with her baby. They need to be together and you help. 100%. So yes. So let's wrap this up and, um, and just, just be there for each other, whatever you guys are going through, because we're all getting exhausted. We're all getting burnt out.

[00:48:46] So just be that angel of light. That's what we need. And remind the people in our lives, uh, our spouses, and even our friends in our community to look towards the blessings, look towards the gratitude. And that will literally give you the strength. Gratitude always does. Prayer does. So you need to lean into those things. I think one last thing. One last thing. Um, we got to remember our why.

[00:49:13] If we go back and we just start to think about why are we doing what we're doing? If we, that core thought of why are we working on this business? What are we trying to build for our family? Why are we working together with our kids? Why? You know, I think of homeschooling. It's hard. Homeschooling's hard. Everything's hard. It's hard. And it's, it's hard because you, you have to spend time there. You know, it's like I spend two hours sitting next to my kids every day. Mostly every day.

[00:49:43] Sitting next to them, working with, working on their work. God's watching as Destiny says. I know, it's mostly every day. It's not every day. If Destiny says. But, uh, but most of the days. And, and when you're sitting there, you, it's hard because your, your brain sometimes tends to, oh my gosh, I got to do that phone call. Oh my gosh, I didn't call that guy yet. Oh my gosh, I got to send that email. You know, you're, you're sitting there thinking about those things and trying to like clear your brain. And if you just remember your, why, why are we homeschooling?

[00:50:11] Because look at what our kids are doing. Look, look at, listen to their, by the way, they have a new podcast out, Entrepreneur Kids with a shameless plug. If you haven't heard it, your kids need to be listening to this. Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. It's a number, it's a top 10 podcast on Apple right now under parenting. Please go listen to that. I promise you, you won't be sorry. Um, but what, look at what they're doing. This is why we're homeschooling them. This is why we're spending this much time with them. This is why we want them home with us. And that's why you need to bring them on the business trips.

[00:50:41] That's why you need to bring them on the vacations. We just got back from a great business trip. It was so, I mean, as a family and being able to do those things together, it really is fulfilling. Build together. It's hard. It's not easy. It's hard to do, but it's worth it. It's hard. But can I tell you that the best memories in my life was building the business with my family as a child. There's nothing better. It wasn't the sports. It's worth it. The sports are forgotten. It's the memories. The dance was forgotten.

[00:51:10] All those things. I mean, it plays a bit. But when you're with your blood, your blood building something and winning together as a team, that team's the only one that matters. I'm telling you. So remember your life. And that's the legacy. So you don't need to be perfect, but you do need to be present. And presence without follow-up is just noise. You need to keep your word.

[00:51:35] If you tell yourself you're going to do something with your family or you promise your family, you need to keep your word. You need to just push through this and you've got it. Absolutely. Okay. Great stuff, guys. I hope you got some from this. Know that we're all going through this and we're all dealing with it. You can hear, obviously, by it's a very passionate conversation for us. And the struggles are there. But at the end of the day, it's all worth it. Remember your why.

[00:52:05] Don't forget why you're doing this. Yes. And we hope to see you guys next week. We'll see you next week. We love you. God bless. Have the best, best life. I wanted to say day, but I'm like, no, it can't just be the day. It can't just be the week. It has to be the best life. Until we see you next time. Bye-bye. Have you, too.

[00:52:29] Thank you guys so much for listening to this awesome episode of the Entrepreneurial Parents' Pretty and Pump Podcast. Make sure to leave a nice review and five stars. And don't forget, make sure you take care of yourself so you don't get burnt out in life. God bless. We love you. Can I tell you something from my heart? I'm so glad you guys came to listen this week.

[00:52:58] It means you don't only care about your family, you care about yourself. And that's a really good thing for change. If someone shared this with you today, it means they love you and they believe in you. And they believe the message that you heard here today is relatable to you and helpful. Isn't that awesome that you have people who love you enough?

[00:53:27] And sharing, you're really blessed. Enjoy the show and keep coming back. We're praying for you. Eat your vegetables.