The Transformative Power of Gratitude; Divorce Proofing Your Marriage Part 8 of 10

[00:00:00] Men are searching for validation. They need validation that women need them, you know, as the person that's there to protect them. Yes, yes, we need that. So we need to thank them for that. So we need to thank them for that. Gratitude comes into play. Different ways, yes. But it's the same. It's different, but it's the same. It's same but different, exactly. Uh, no.

[00:00:29] Ooh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:00:59] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you it's going to be worth it. A relationship is where you go to bring a lot. Not where you go to get it. Welcome to this week's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell. And I'm here with my beautiful wife and co-host.

[00:01:29] Yildi Co-Federns. And we have another great podcast for you guys. It is the seventh, eighth part, the eighth part of our 10 part series in divorce proofing your marriage. And that's why it's an important podcast because marriage is important. And anything that you can do to stop from being a statistic is important.

[00:01:58] And that's why we created this 10 part series is we wanted to try to give you guys some tools that none of us are perfect. We're not. None of us are going to be perfect at this. And this is an ongoing thing that you have to work at. And it's a struggle. It's not always perfect. We're not perfect. But it's but you have to keep pushing forward and you have to keep finding ways. And this is having tools to try to create a better marriage.

[00:02:26] And this is one of the things that we think is important in marriage. And that's that how transformative gratitude can be in your marriage. But before we jump into that. Hey, guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast. And if you are and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button, it just takes a second. It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there to more listeners like you guys. And if you know anybody, it might help and you can send it to them. We really appreciate that, too.

[00:02:55] We also love and appreciate your reviews. Even the babies look forward to them every day. If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us. We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business. And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero. That's worth a shout out. Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well. And we just want to put it out there. We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible.

[00:03:25] And you are our family. And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family. So don't forget the sh all the links are below in the show notes. And thank you again. And let's get back to the show. Guys, have you ever paused to thank your spouse for the little, just a little things that they do each day? Gratitude is so easy to overlook in the rush of life.

[00:03:54] And I know sometimes we forget, but it holds, it truly holds the power to transform a marriage. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Today, we're going to uncover how practicing gratitude can divorce proof your marriage and strengthen emotional bonds, all the good stuff, and even reflect on Christ's love in your relationship. And that's so easy and so important to come to.

[00:04:24] Now, gratitude, this is what it'll really do for you guys. It shifts your focus from what's lacking in your spouse. And we're all lacking something, let's be honest, to the blessings that they bring in your life. And if you can just focus on the gratitude, it's like the same reason why when I wake up, the first thing I do, I have my relationship with God.

[00:04:53] And then I do the gratitude with my children. You cannot be unhappy if you don't do your gratitude in the morning. Just be thankful for the, you know, the good thing. Thank you for the air that you could breathe. Some people aren't getting, some people, there's a lot of people in that cemetery that didn't get out of bed. Okay. So first of all, just be grateful for being alive.

[00:05:19] So when you practice that type of thing, but with your spouse, and I know we all need to get better at this, because sometimes there's built up resentment or hurt or just things going on, you're dealing. This is a different chapter of your life. This is a different season, your mom and dad for the first time ever. And as a mother, sometimes we can focus on, you know, resentment and we're losing who we used to be.

[00:05:46] And now are we a shell of the person that we used to be? Well, just focus on being grateful for the little things that your partner is bringing to you. So it's time to leave your mother and your father. Okay. And that's as, as, as males and females, women and men, it's time to leave our parents. So we can't run home to mommy and daddy if we get in a fight as women or men.

[00:06:15] Um, so we need to just lean into our partners and when they give us that stability and that safe place, just think about that. Because when our emotions are, we're dealing with so much after the baby postpartum, then we're in the trenches of toddler life and the trenches of childhood and teenagers. We're going through all this stuff. We don't have our mommy and daddy to lean into. It's our husband and they are that strong place.

[00:06:44] And they are that place that helped to even out our emotions and just even saying thank you for those things. Those little tiny things of them being our safe place now, our father, our father figure. And, um, these are the things that if we just show some gratitude or even a little bit of help around the house, I know sometimes people complain about, I wish he'd do more. I wish she would do more.

[00:07:14] Rather than focusing on those things, if you focus on the gratitude, it will have a tremendous shift on your life. And therapist insight, when couples intentionally look for positive qualities in one another, it creates a feedback loop of appreciation, which builds resilience during conflicts. This is therapist insight. Sorry, go ahead.

[00:07:43] Well, I was just going to say is I see it as kind of like preventative medicine in our relationship. Yeah. If you're doing that on a regular basis, and I know when I'm not doing it too, but when I am doing it on a regular basis, I can see how much better our relationship is. Or I can see, you know, the, the, the good parts in our relation. I can. It increases positive emotions and trust. And I'm like, wow, that was, you know, we had a great, really great day. Yeah.

[00:08:11] And I think it was because it started off great because maybe I said this, or I said that, or you said this, or you said that. And it made us both feel better about ourselves or about our relationship or just put us in a good mood. And it's like, I just compare it to like preventative medicine. You know, when you're, those are the things that you can do. Cause a lot of the stuff we talked about on here is, you know, some of the things that you can do when you're already in a conflict. Yeah.

[00:08:39] And, and that's now you're too far. Now it's how to fix the conflict. But what do you do for preventative medicine in your relationship? What do you do to start to create, you know, to create that a better relationship so that those things don't even happen so that it doesn't even get there. Right. Right. And always we have to, I was going to say, watch our tone and the way that we are. I mean, this is exactly, that's already in an escalated state, but yes.

[00:09:09] Yes. If you use it as preventative medicine, then it doesn't, it doesn't, how can you, how can you even butt heads when you're so grateful and so kind to each other? And I wanted to, I always talk about therapist backup, but here's the biblical insight with Thessalonians 5.18. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

[00:09:38] So gratitude is a command. It's not a suggestion. It's a command and it applies even in the hardest times of marriage. So somehow bite the bullet. If you're feeling angry, just try to find something nice to say. And gratitude, when we feel appreciated, it just, it just shifts your mindset. It shifts you out of the darkness or that trench that you're in at the moment.

[00:10:07] And I think you have to be intentional too. You know, there's a part of you that has to be intentional when you're doing this because you have to look for that into somebody, in somebody. You know, it's so easy for us as, you know, when you're in this relationship and you, you're feeling a little overwhelmed and you don't see something done, but you don't realize that your spouse did 10 other things.

[00:10:29] But there's one thing that you're mad about or, or upset about, or you're, you know, you wish would have got done or you wish they would have done for you. And you've decided to concentrate on that one thing rather than thanking them for all the other things that they did today that you should be appreciated for.

[00:10:52] And so when you concentrate on what you appreciate, you're, and when you're grateful for those things that they actually did, and maybe you somewhat mentioned something after you've given that appreciation, you know, oh shoot, can you wash my workout clothes? Or, you know, do you want me to help that help you with that? You know, I need to have those done for tomorrow. Can you help me with that? You know, just things like that, when you approach it in a different way, you tend to get a better reaction.

[00:11:22] And rather than jumping up going, why aren't my things washed? Or why isn't this done? Or, you know, I thought we were leaving. Why aren't you ready? You know, it's like, that's not a good way to start off for a day. No. And that's the other thing. When you come in the other form of, it's almost like a bossiness or anger. That's not going to help anything. But gratitude fosters emotional safety.

[00:11:49] And that is so, so, so important for both sides, but especially women. When you express gratitude, your spouse feels seen. And we talked about this last week and a few weeks before. The most important things that we need is to be seen, valued, and appreciated. This fosters emotional safety. Making it easier for one to open up and be vulnerable.

[00:12:17] Emotional safety is the foundation of trust. Knowing that you could go to them with anything. Intimacy and a healthy conflict with resolution in marriage. And remember, the way that you guys are communicating, the little eyes are watching. And that's what they're learning exactly from you. Yeah, I think for women or for, well, let's start. Sorry, I have a stuffy nose today.

[00:12:44] I say for men, you know, men are, they need to feel like they're needed. You know, it's important for men to feel like they're needed. They don't, I mean, that's the only thing they have in the world, right? They're going to work every day. And it's not just whether they're going to work or whatever they're doing. They're fighting the fight, right? They're fighting the good fight. They're trying to build a business, whether that's with the family or they have to go to work or whatever they're doing. They're fighting the good fight.

[00:13:14] They're, if they're the breadwinner, you know, I know that's not always the case. But if they're out there fighting the good fight and they come home and they're trying to help, they're not always perfect. They just need to feel somewhat appreciated rather than attacked when they come home. You know, so, so, you know, your spouse as a spouse understand that about, about a man.

[00:13:36] And then the same thing goes when a man comes home and he's coming home, maybe he's coming home from work or maybe he's in his home office, whatever he's doing. And maybe he's going through a lot. If you've had a hard day, sometimes you got to check that attitude at the door and, and come home with the attitude of, I know I'm tired.

[00:13:54] And I know that I've had a long day, but how can I come home and contribute to the family rather than try to take, take from the family? Like I need, I need you to do this for me. And I, I want to, I need to sit down. And, you know, it's like how your wife's been, if she's the one at home, your wife has been working hard all day too.

[00:14:19] The kids have been, I'm sure, you know, testing her all day or she's at least kept her busy and she's, maybe she's cleaning, whatever she's doing, I'm sure she's had a full day too. And so you've both had a full day and you have to realize that you both had a full day and now it's time to put in the overtime.

[00:15:05] Yeah. And I feel like, you know, I just feel like this slave and this cook and this, and you have to find, you have to find the blessing within it. And I feel like because they're the ones that are sleep deprived, they're up all night. They're up from morning and through the night, especially when they have more than one child. This is a thing. When they have little ones for sure.

[00:15:31] So, well, I mean, even older, even older, they wake up. Who do they wake? Who do they wake up? They don't get up me. I mean, in our house, under our roof. Anyway, with my experience, I don't, I'm still not getting my sleep. So I could see how some women are really struggling. And, um. Why don't they get me up? It's like, because you'll get mad at them. No, I won't. I will not get mad at them.

[00:16:01] If you, they're scared. They're too scared. I don't know. It's just because, you know, every child. I would get up if they got me up. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I just feel like children, they just, they want their mom. They want their mommy. That's right. But it is, it's tiring. But at the same time, what gets me through it is feeling honored that I am the one that they choose. That I am the one that gets to pour into them.

[00:16:31] Because they are doing great things. I'm going to have a talk with them about that. They are our business. Next time you got to get up, get me up. Please. Oh my gosh. If they can. Breastfeeding. If they can. Or nursing for five years. That's why. Because you nursed them both for five years. Yeah. I know. That's why. But I promised, and I just promised that I'm not, when they're ready, then they can wean. Or at least three years. And that's the European. At three years. Well, no.

[00:16:59] There were occasions after three years. Yeah. But for the most part, they were regulars. They were regular breastfeeding. To four. Four years old. Three or four years old. Yeah. And right, wrong, or different, this is a European thing. It's definitely not an American thing. I think in America, they stopped nursing at six months. But here's the blessing in that. It was hard. It was hard. And it's hard. But they're never sick. They're never sick. They're so strong.

[00:17:29] So I'm proud of myself for doing that. It's not for everyone. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. And I think all those years. I think all those years of commitment. Of going to the gym. Waking up early. Starting an architectural concrete company. It prepared me for motherhood. And yeah. Anyway, it's hard. So I could see that there are women in my community that are like, What is going on? I'm so emotional. This is going on.

[00:17:59] That's going on. That is all normal. And your husband, he's meeting that person for the first time. And it's an honor. This is God's daughter. Just look at it that way. This is your assignment. And somehow you need to be the safe place for that. And if you can somehow show gratitude because she gave up so much. You still get to have your morning quiet drive as a man.

[00:18:25] You get to go deal with the things that you love that she loved doing too at one time. She doesn't get to do that anymore. And she would love to. This isn't always the case. You know. Well, not us. Not us. Because we plan differently. We plan strategically. And this is what we talk to about our community. Dan doesn't leave for a nine to five every day. So he's here.

[00:18:50] But we've decided when something big happened in our lives, we decided to give everything to this podcast to give back to others to be that this is our testimony. We had big disasters come into our lives, but we also had huge miracles. And wouldn't it be powerful if not only can we share our testimony,

[00:19:16] but if we could put other people in the spotlight to share their testimony, how they overcame the struggles and the juggles and the wins. So we have this business together. Our children are our employees. They're a part of this podcast. Every single... And by the way, we're grateful for this. The way, this opportunity and this, the ability to be able to stay at home with our kids. We're grateful for that every single day. Oh my gosh. Because it's hard.

[00:19:44] It's hard because some women don't even have that luxury. They have to go back. And this is what I remind the ones that are juggling everything at home. And it's a culture shock to them, or it's just a shock. I shouldn't even say culture shock, but it's just a shock to them what they're going through. But then you have to imagine, imagine not being able to nurse your little ones because you have to go back to work.

[00:20:12] And you have to separate your... I couldn't even imagine. That would be so hard. I've never spent one night away from my children. That's not everybody. But I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine having to have to be away from them. I've had to do it several times. But... Paying someone else to watch my children, like, dang, who set that up? Yeah, I've had to do it several times. But I'm so glad to know that you're there. Yeah. And you know, one of the things...

[00:20:42] That's a different thing. We're not going to be... We... Those were, like, freakish situations. But yeah, they happen here. Because we travel together. We don't separate our family. I know you have to go on a trip right now, but you don't want to expose us to the smoke and the toxins and all that crazy stuff in the air. People are getting so, so sick. They're bleeding out of their nose, their eyes, their mouth. You don't want to expose us to that. You're going to go and you're going to deal with that and you're going to be back right

[00:21:12] away, but you're not going to expose us to that. What was that noise? Well, I don't know. Do you want to pause it? I don't know. But one of the things I was going to say was that, you know, so men are searching for validation. They need validation that women need them, you know, as the person that's there to protect them. Yes, yes. We need that. So we need to thank them for that. Do you see me? You know, so gratitude comes in to play. Different ways. Yes. But it's the same.

[00:21:41] It's different, but it's the same. It's same but different. Exactly. I mean, men need validation. Women need to know that they're seen and protected. Gratitude can play out in the same way for both people when that's the case. So if you look at your spouse with the idea that how can I, and listen guys, I work at this, we all have to work at this, but you, and I'm not, and it doesn't happen every single day, but I want it to happen every single day. And it's something that we can all work and get better at.

[00:22:11] When you look at your spouse and you go, I know that something's going to come up, but you're always just looking at what did they do today? And how can I make light of that? How can I say thank you for that? Because you really are, or should be appreciative for all the things that your spouse is doing for you because you guys are a team. You guys are on a mission together. You guys are both doing your part. And that part means sometimes your parts are different.

[00:22:40] Your part isn't what her part is. And her part isn't what your part is. Sometimes you guys are doing different things. And that's okay, but you should be appreciative for that. You should be able to look across the aisle and say, thank you for doing what you're doing. I really appreciate that. I appreciate that you're there every day with, you know, working with the kids or, or doing your, their work, homework with the kids or schoolwork with the kids, or that you're making

[00:23:09] dinner for us and making, you know, homemade cooked meals that are good for our bodies and good for, you know, us to stay healthy. And we appreciate that. I told you that a few days ago. I said, I appreciate so much that you make these homemade meals for us when you don't have to, you know, we could order out every single night if we wanted to. And we, and I appreciate that you take the extra effort to, to make home cooked meals for us because they really are good.

[00:23:37] I think, I can't remember what it was, but I think, I don't know, maybe I was being a little cheeky, but I was like, you do know that you're going to live a long time because I've never used the microwave for you. I make everything from scratch. I work so hard to make sure you're going to live a long time. Like, can you just make my life easy so I can live for a long time too? I think I, maybe I forgot.

[00:24:06] I could just throw your meals in the microwave and buy you whatever it's called, like hungry man or something. But I, I don't Dan, I choose to pour into you and make everything from scratch and three ingredients. I think that was the day I forgot to do something like do the dishes. I don't know, but I was just like, just remember, I've never put your food in the microwave. I've never bought you fast food. I will not let you eat whatever you eat when you go away and you come back all bloated.

[00:24:35] I don't know what you eat, but when you come home, I get you all skinny and beautiful looking and everything looks wonderful. So no long trips anymore for you. You're not allowed to come back looking all unhealthy again. You eat a lot, you eat out a lot. That's, that's what, that's what comes to the territory. Yes. So I'm grateful that you do cook for us at home. That's because it really is good. You're a great cook.

[00:25:04] Oh, that's sweet. So yes, I'm blushing. So guys, let's remember, even when it's hard and you don't always feel like going there, reflect. Gratitude reflects Christ's love. Jesus' love for the church is sacrificial, unconditional and full of grace. Showing gratitude for your spouse, even when it's hard, reflects the same love.

[00:25:33] Gratitude teaches humility and grace, reminding us to see our spouse through the, through God's eyes. Remember that woman in front of you, that's God's little girl. That's God's little boy. And I wanted to just bring this biblical insight in that Ephesians 5.25, husbands love your wives

[00:25:58] just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Gratitude is an act of love that honors your spouse and your covenant with God. So sometimes, you know, even when it's hard, that's the thing, the way that you treat your spouse. And this goes both ways. When you have the conversation of why did you treat them this way?

[00:26:27] It will be a question when you're not getting to the gates of heaven. Now we're going to slide into some practical steps that we can start today to cultivate gratitude. And I've done this with the kids. So I wanted to bring it into this. And this is something that you and I should start doing. There's a gratitude, oh, the gratitude jar.

[00:26:51] And to keep a jar where you and your spouse add little notes of appreciation through the month, and then you can read them together at the end of the month or on anniversaries or at Christmas. But we have a gratitude jar and I was getting this butterfly where you could drop these little

[00:27:14] chips of gratitude or like the Bible's affirmation, the affirmation of who we are to God. So maybe we can make something. We're going to have another butterfly in the house. Yeah. Destiny's obsessed with them. We have another butterfly to put up on the wall. No, but it's just this little butterfly that goes on a stand and you feed these little, I think that we should do the gratitude. Like notes in it? Well, yeah. You know what we need to do is more gratitude because we always do gratitude every morning

[00:27:44] like in their affirmations. But we should do gratitude about like other people in the house. Like what are you grateful for about Daniel? What are you grateful for about mommy? Yeah, yeah. Because we always ask what they're grateful. You know, I'm grateful for that we have a roof over our head. I'm grateful for, you know, that we went to.

[00:28:09] I'm grateful for mommy and daddy and destiny and myself. But like specifically, like, what are you grateful for that mommy did this week? Yeah, I love that. I love that. Yeah, let's add that. Because make a verbal, that was one of my notes is make a verbal gratitude, make, make, tongue tie, make verbal gratitude a habit. And this was for you and I, but I think we incorporate the whole family exactly how you

[00:28:36] said express gratitude daily, even for the small acts of cooking or cleaning or listening or whatever it is. So you just custom, you customize it and you do it every day. Thank you for helping with dinner. It means a lot to me, whatever it is. So I think that that's a really good idea. Now, the other thing that I really love and I have my own gratitude journal, but maybe start a gratitude journal, right?

[00:29:04] One thing you appreciate about your spouse every day, add that to your gratitude journal. I know many of us have it, but, and then you share it with them again to reinforce positive communication. But like, for example, I appreciate how you made time to help the kids do homework today. It means so much. Something along those lines. Just add that in your gratitude journal. If, if you have one. And guys are easy, ladies. They're easy.

[00:29:32] All you guys say is, you know, thank you for working so hard. That's it. You say those two things. We're on top of the world for like six months. We're good. Yeah. But well, maybe not six months, but if we heard that every few days, we're fine. We're ready to go break down walls for you. But you know, for us guys, you know, we, it's a little more nuanced. Yeah. And we got to, so we got to put a little more effort into it and make sure that, you know,

[00:29:58] we're looking at the things that our wives are doing, you know, and making, uh, I feel like it's because they're in this new season. And I think that that's the reminder is that they're, they're in this new season. Many of our community, they're becoming moms and dads for the first time. So just thank them. And guys love to hear this because when you look at them as a dad for the first time and

[00:30:25] fall in love with that and thank them for that because it's, it's just amazing to watch all these dads in our community, they're just so hands-on and we're just living in a different, people see through what they've been primed to be in the last 10, 20 years. And they're so hands-on. They're so just pouring into their little ones and, and, and just, just let him know that

[00:30:54] you love that, that you appreciate that, that he can't even, you know, they don't, they just create these different businesses so that they can work with the family, create that family businesses are back the way that it used to be where everybody was strong and successful. Families fell apart when they separated the lives and a divorce started happening.

[00:31:21] And that'll be a whole different podcast in itself. But I feel like that man that my grandfather was is coming back. So be grateful for that because that is such a beautiful thing. There's no, men are seeing through that pressure of, no, you have to work in a cubicle. They're like, forget that.

[00:31:44] No, I'm giving my family freedom and I don't want to be enjoying my life after 65 and I can't run or catch a ball. I'll never go into an office again. I'll never. I just heard that from someone else in our group too. Yeah. Well, that's what reminded me of it is because I hadn't thought about that too much, but when I, when he said that. Well, you're going to wait till 65 and you can't run with your kid? I'll never, I'll never go back in an office. Absolutely not. I'm with you. I'm never going back in an office again.

[00:32:14] I remember when I got an office, I couldn't, it was super exciting that you also have this office, you know, and you have your own business and your own, your own warehouse and this is great. And then now I think back, man, I will never be in an office again. Yeah. And I love hearing that because there's those groups and because I'm still somewhat, I

[00:32:39] hear, I hear, I hear the language that is spoken in those groups before children. And I feel like you and I were there on success and success. And we were just talking about it today and we're going to be worked so hard. We're going to be billion. You know, like just, just this talk. And then all of a sudden you have your first baby and then all of a sudden the perspective, everything changes. And that's like our community.

[00:33:08] They hold that little baby for the first time and their wheels start turning. Like, what can I create to give myself freedom? Because I want to pour everything into this little baby. And the way that they, I already know who we're surrounding ourselves with and who is not going to be in our lives. If they're not ranting and raving about their wives and their kids, and they're not including

[00:33:33] them in the journey, I know that they're not in a, in a, on a good, I also know that they're not going to last that long. That somebody in the relationship is suffering. But the people that are, Hey, I'm going to bring my wife and my kids and they're excited. And we're going to have a business meeting. I'm bringing my family. I love those people that are creating with, with them. And I feel like those days are back. It's been what? I mean, I used to watch the show, Little House on the Prairie.

[00:34:03] Do you remember that show? Yeah, I love it. I mean, that's how it, you know, that was probably based around the, you know, eight, late 1800s. Yeah. And you, that's how people were back then. But my mom, my grandma and my grandpa were like that. They literally, and my auntie and my uncle. Or in the shop, you know, the mercantile or whatever it was. And they're so cute. My, my grandma would sit on my grandpa's lap and just, you know, she, she had 12 children.

[00:34:31] Her last baby she had at 50 something. Show me someone that's having babies at 50 because they're just been indoctrinated. Like, eat like crap. Like, just, I love the whole going back to the roots. You know what's almost attractive to me right now? Going off grid. Very tempted. All of it. All of it. It's tempting to me. I noticed you, somehow it's in our algorithm. It's coming back into my blood.

[00:35:00] The farm, the, the community. Let's just buy 200 acres and, and, uh, and get the community together. And just, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, how did we get off topic? Gratitude prayers. When, during prayer time, thank God. Of course we thank God for everything, but I feel like we don't thank our spouses enough specifically in ways through the prayers to bless your life.

[00:35:28] Make sure that you do that with each other. And then also, I mean, most of us, we include our children in our prayers. Let them hear that too. Hearing these prayers reinforces a love and appreciation for each other, for the whole family and acknowledge growth, growth, celebrate and express gratitude for your spouse's efforts to grow even in the small ways.

[00:35:52] And I know that you've seen me grow as, um, as a mother and different ways in business. And I've seen you grow when you became a father and you're just, you're a different person. And I'm, I'm grateful for that person that you've become. And I, I just, I've never felt more loved and, um, and just included when we just really started doing things together as a family.

[00:36:22] And I know this, this may not be for everybody out there, but also know that there is an option to create. I mean, for us, it's the podcast and putting other people into the light and definitely always giving God the glory because I know that I wouldn't be here if God didn't give me this miracle.

[00:36:44] And I'm so grateful for it because as you guys know, and if you don't, I lost my brother at a very young age and it just happened and life is precious. So I understand this value and this gift, um, of, of, of healing from something that even the doctors didn't think that I would heal from. So I don't take it for granted. I don't take it lightly.

[00:37:12] And I am here to just to be the blueprint, my husband and I, the blueprint in the survival guide that we have overcome. And we are here for the struggles and the juggles that you're going through. We've been through some of the craziest, hardest stuff. So, um, we're here to guide you guys and also inspire you with other people's stories.

[00:37:38] And anyway, we're just so grateful for each other. I'm grateful for you, the person that you've become. Um, and I'm also grateful for you. Did you just point at me when you said that? No. And I'm grateful for you too. No, I didn't point at you. You pointed at me. You pointed at me with your paper. Oh, maybe. But you pointed at me with your finger. I'm grateful for you. I think I copied Daniel because he always says, I'm grateful for this person.

[00:38:09] And then he'll point at me. Oh my gosh. Gratitude is important. And you know what? It's so easily overlooked. It just lifts the mood. But I so see it as it's just that thing that if you can get really good at it, I promise it'll make your relationship better. Make an effort every day. And it just, both of you will enjoy each other more if you're not looking for reasons to take each other down.

[00:38:37] You're looking for reasons to build each other up. Yeah. And you can get into those, you know, you've had a bad day. It's so easy to start pointing out problems with people. Yeah. And if you're that person, it doesn't end up well. It doesn't end up well. You sometimes have to be the one to bring the other person out of that rut. So you can't, you can't both be down at the same time.

[00:39:02] If you see someone starting to go or spiral, be the one that pulls them, be the life jacket. Yeah. Be the life jacket. That's a great one. Yeah. Be the life jacket for the family and, and find something positive in your partner and, and share that gratitude. Yeah. Cause I'm grateful. I'm grateful for our family. I'm grateful for what we get to do. And I don't, it doesn't come, you know, without knowing that, you know, a lot of people aren't

[00:39:31] as fortunate to be able to work together and to be able to have this, you know, do things together that we love. And you know, that comes, it's hard to sometimes be around each other all the time. It's not always easy. Yeah. And so you have to practice these things because if you're around each other that much, you have to like, it's so easy to get a little bit sometimes like what you're doing right now is totally irritating me right now. I'm picking my toe. I'm totally irritated. I'm trying to crack my toe.

[00:40:00] So there's the visual. I'm trying to crack my toe. But if you could just find the positive in it, like, wow, you have such nice toes. Like I really love your toes. You could be grateful for something in the midst of it. Do you see the sparkles? Destiny painted them. I love you. I love your, your nail polish. It's so beautiful. Don't crack the toe.

[00:40:28] Even though you're taking pieces of it off onto the floor. That's okay. It's beautiful. So don't pick your toenail polish and don't crack your toe. We know what we do, guys. We're trying to make the best of it. Anyway, thank you guys for listening to this episode of the Pretty and Pug Podcast. And this is number eight in a 10 part series of divorce proofing your marriage. Fight the enemy. You know what he wants.

[00:40:55] Be sure to listen next week of episode nine of divorce proofing your marriage. And then episode 10 is going to be a great episode. So don't miss that one. And so we'll see you guys next week. God bless you. We love you. And we're grateful for you. Thank you so much for listening to the Pretty and Pug Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. We hope to see you next week. And always stay grateful.

[00:41:22] Don't forget to leave a review so that this important message gets to someone that needs to hear it. God bless. Love you. Thank you for listening today to the Pretty and Pug Podcast. For entrepreneurial parents. Hope you subscribe. Don't forget to listen with your kids. If you hear what God says, you do what God says. And watch church.

[00:41:50] And a thought from the beginning. And be grateful. See you next week.