What Is It Actually Like to Live With You?

[00:00:00] This podcast is sponsored by Talkspace. Last year I went through many different life changes. I needed to take a pause and examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself. When you're navigating life's changes, Talkspace can help. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatry providers that you can access anytime, anywhere.

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[00:01:23] Redfin helps turn saved listings into real addresses. Get started at Redfin.com. Own the dream. Redfin. Someone was talking about this the other day and it was so powerful. They were asking, have you ever noticed how easy it could be to give patience to strangers?

[00:01:43] To smile at the cashier, to thank a server, to be kind to a person at work, to show grace to someone you've perhaps only known for a few minutes. And yet sometimes the people we love the most receive the version of us that's tired, overwhelmed, distracted. Right?

[00:02:07] We all see that person that's on their iPhone or they're just distracted in thought. Or they're easily irritated, emotionally unavailable, or perhaps grumpy, just grumpy because they're letting life get to them and they're taking it out on the people around them. And it's not because they don't love the people around them.

[00:02:34] I sure hope so anyway, but it's often because home is where people stop performing. I'll say it again. That's where they stop performing. The mask comes off. It's where the pressure of the day finally comes out. Where exhaustion, it shows up often.

[00:03:00] And sometimes without realizing it, the people receiving the least protected version of us are the people who deserve the greatest care, who deserve the greatest love. And I think one of the most uncomfortable questions a person can ask themselves is, what is it actually like to live with me?

[00:03:30] Not to see me at the coffee shop when I'm all cheery, not to see me at work if you work out of home, when I have to be on my best behavior. But when my mask comes off, when the masks, when you're, when you are done performing, what is it like to live with you?

[00:03:54] Not what I intend, not what I, what I hope, not what I post. What is it actually like to experience me consistently for my wife, for my children, for my husband, right?

[00:04:12] Because whether we realize it or not, the version of us, our family experiences is helping shape the emotional atmosphere of the home. And that atmosphere is shaping marriages, intimacy, children, connection, trust, and family culture.

[00:04:40] Your family culture every single day. So settle in with me for a moment, because this may become one of the most honest conversations we've had together out of many. Let's go get comfortable, grab the popcorn, grab your loved ones, and come listen.

[00:05:12] Ooh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a $100 million clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:05:42] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello, my friends, and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversations bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building unshakable legacies. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi.

[00:06:08] And over the last few episodes, we've been talking about emotional environments. We've also been speaking about identity, attachment, the voice people carry inside of themselves. And today we're going to look at something from a different angle. Not the voice inside our heads. The version of ourselves other people experience.

[00:06:36] This is going to be fun. Because every one of us has an impact on the emotional atmosphere around us. Especially our home. And sometimes the gap between who we believe we are. Because we can think, oh, we are so nice. We're the best person. We are amazing. And what others consistently experience. And this, my friends, it is worth paying attention to.

[00:07:05] The people closest to us don't experience us occasionally. It's not a once in a while thing. They experience us repeatedly. Every single day. They see our patterns, our reactions, our habits, our moods, our response to stress. They see how we handle disappointments. How we speak when we're frustrated. Or how we respond when we're overwhelmed.

[00:07:35] They see how we speak on the phone to colleagues or family that put pressure. And after the call, they see exactly how you act after. And while no one gets this right all the time, those responses, those repeated moments, they quietly become someone's experience of us.

[00:08:04] Listen to that. That's powerful. And that's especially true for our children. Because children are constantly asking questions. They rarely... They're asking the questions that they rarely say out loud. Okay? They're asking, is my home peaceful? What do I see most of the time? Why does it get like that?

[00:08:33] And that could be either positive or negative. Am I safe bringing my emotions here? What happens when mommy brings her concerns or her feelings to daddy? What happens? Is it good? Is he supportive? Does he hug her? Does he encourage her to speak every fear, every concern? Or does he shut her down? Does he explode? This goes vice versa. This goes both ways.

[00:09:02] But certainly if I'm a child and I see someone explode on someone else just for having a feeling, well, I'm certainly not going to bring that to that parent. No way. What happens when someone has a bad day? I'm watching this as a child. How do people treat each other when life gets hard? When the bills add up? Right? When it gets stressful.

[00:09:31] Or when money's abundant. How do they treat their family? And over time, those answers become part of their understanding of relationships. So I'm telling you, if you're the stable parent, you need to communicate.

[00:09:52] Say, for example, if someone has a hard time saying, I'm sorry, you need to overload with, I wouldn't say overload, but almost over-exaggerate it. When you do something that bothers your child. For example, I'll give you an example. We were having breakfast this morning and I was in a bit of a rush.

[00:10:17] I had to head to do the podcast and I made some really healthy, the Elizabeth cereal. And I put some extra additives. I love to add things to cereal. So today I added fruit and I added some blueberries and Destiny was upset. She was upset that I put blueberries in her cereal. And I know that could have triggered most people.

[00:10:47] They'd be like, just eat it. It's healthy for you. So I really looked her in the eyes and I said, listen, I put it in there because the wild blueberries are really good for you. It's an antioxidant. It does this and that for the body. And she wasn't having it. She wasn't, she wasn't being sold. I said, you have it in your oatmeal. How come you don't want it in this cereal today? She wasn't having it. So I said, okay, I'm going to take them out. I'll give them to Daniel because he loves it. Do you love it, Daniel? Yes.

[00:11:16] He's nodding his head. He's very pleased and he loves the situation. So I put it in his bowl and she's upset because it's still purple. I said, give it a try, right? Give it a try. And I'm so grateful that you told me that you didn't like it. I'm sorry that I assumed that you liked it. I should have asked you and it's, it's a surprise to me because you changed your mind. But that's a good thing.

[00:11:46] People are allowed to change their minds and that's the beauty and the mystery of people that sometimes they change their mind. One minute they will like something and then they won't like it anymore in the future. Or they'll behave a certain way and then they'll change planting a seed because sometimes we can have a negative characteristic, but if we put the work in it, we can change. It's okay. It's okay to change. It's okay to not like things.

[00:12:16] So I suggested, do you want a little protein in there? We have this protein that's very natural, good for kids, good for all ages. And I said, do you want the pink one? No, we can make the milk pink. So she was very pleased with that decision. And then Daniel asked for the vanilla. We put the vanilla in his, and then she also asked for vanilla. And this all turned out very beautifully.

[00:12:40] I felt triggered at first, but I remembered, you know, you have to be the positive parent, especially sometimes if someone else is carrying stress, then go an extra mile out of your way so they understand that communication is okay, that it's okay to change your mind.

[00:13:02] I would hate for my daughter, especially a girl to feel that making a bold decision, because this is just, this is just breakfast guys, but to make a bold decision to say no to something that she's uncomfortable with, even if it's someone that she may trust to say no and tell someone she cares about and know that she's safe.

[00:13:28] So I, as a parent, think about these things incredibly tactically and very carefully and present them in ways where I know that it is going to help build my children. It says it in the Bible. What are our children? Our children are arrows to pull back, to prepare, to set off into the world. So maybe it's just breakfast. Maybe it's just cereal.

[00:13:55] But to me, I see it as a learning lesson and I am going to plant the seeds. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile, with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

[00:14:24] Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. So if you see your partner lagging in a certain area, maybe it could be with stress, maybe anger or whatever it is, you be the parent to step up to show them what it is like to be treated well, to be talked to well. So you can be that parent.

[00:14:54] And I think this is sometimes people get stuck because most people aren't intentionally saving the worst for their home. Let me just put that out clearly. They're not trying to be monsters at home or gremlins. They're carrying stress that they haven't processed. I understand that. That's, that's, it's pressure that they haven't dealt with.

[00:15:24] Fatigue that they perhaps haven't acknowledged. And eventually that pressure leaks somewhere. A short tone, a sharp response, distracted conversations, especially when there's a project due, something that you're working on that's due. Your, your conversations get distracted. A spouse, a spouse who feels unseen.

[00:15:50] This, this, this is a big, big conversation in our community. A child who learns to carefully watch parents mood before approaching them. We're talking about this the other day with Daniel. He said, I'm like that. I watch people's moods before approaching them. Destiny said, me too. I think we become very good people readers when we're aware.

[00:16:20] I teach our family to become very aware of our surroundings, very aware of the way people talk to us, especially in public, because you could, it tells you a lot to the questions that strangers asks you, ask you, or the conversations people have with you. Because listen, there are tricky adults out there. There are tricky people out there. So the best thing that we can teach people is to read people. And what do they do with those skills?

[00:16:48] They read us, right? And the difficult truth is sometimes that we, we often protect a reputation in public more carefully than we protect connection at home. That is something that comes up in the community all the time. Well, when we're having the conversation pertaining to this and it's, it's not, it's again, I want

[00:17:14] to say it's not because, and hopefully it's not because people are trying to be nasty. It's because they're human. And awareness truly matters. It matters here because what goes unchecked often becomes normal. It often becomes a habit. So if you're hearing this for the first time and you're looking back and you're realizing, goodness, you know, that's, that's true.

[00:17:43] When I come home, I'm tired, I'm overstressed. Or even if you have your office at home, I'm dealing with people. There are certain relatives that, that put pressure on me that make me really unhinged after, or, or, or it could be coworkers or a person or a friend or whatever, whatever it is. But I'm, I'm unhinged after that conversation or I become unhinged during the conversation,

[00:18:12] but I'm holding it in and I let it out after. You have to take inventory. Inventory. When people hear the phrase emotional safety, they often think about children, but spouses, they need emotional safety too. They do. Friendship needs emotional safety. Family, your family as a whole needs emotional safety.

[00:18:40] People flourish. They flourish when they feel safe. What is the conversation? What is the conversation where women, where women shut down, they've become completely in, in effect. They just, they don't, they're, they're in affectionate. They don't have that intimacy, the desire to be intimate. And when they dig back with their, uh, when they're, when they're in their counseling sessions,

[00:19:09] they dig back, they pull back the curtain, they uncover everything. It's because she didn't feel safe. She didn't feel physically safe when someone exploded. She didn't feel emotionally safe when she came to someone with something that's been hurting her for years. And she shared it and, oh, it just didn't turn out well. Sometimes it turns into disgust. So we have to be so careful. People flourish when they feel emotionally safe.

[00:19:39] I'm going to say it again. Children, spouses, they want to feel safe to speak honestly. They want everybody. Everybody, we all, we all as humans want to feel safe to make mistakes. We don't call them mistakes in our family. We call them lessons because they are so valuable. Why do we pay? Sometimes people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to coach with someone that has made

[00:20:07] enormous mistakes in life so that we don't make them. Right? This, this is, this is the thing. We want to feel safe to learn lessons. We want to feel safe to ask questions. Goodness gracious. We want to feel safe to ask a simple question. We want to feel safe to express concerns.

[00:20:29] And we want to feel safe to be our imperfect, perfect, beautiful selves, to be ourselves. And, and one of the greatest gifts we can offer the people closest to us, our spouse, our babies, is becoming someone they don't have to emotionally brace themselves for. Okay. I'm going to go talk to my spouse now.

[00:20:58] I got to brace myself emotionally because they're probably going to lose it. Or, or as a child, I'm going to ask this question or have this conversation and my parents are probably going to lose it. Or my mom or my dad or whatever it is. My sister, my brother. That's a powerful thought because many people, they spent years growing up around unpredictable reactions. And goodness gracious, if you ask the wrong question, go to your room.

[00:21:27] Come, come out when you've stopped crying. You hear these stories and it's like, wow. Wow. It's because they didn't, they couldn't, they couldn't, they were unhinged and they taught others to be unhinged. And it's okay now to promise yourself that you can create something different because it's never too late.

[00:21:57] We talk about this all the time. It's never too late. If you start today, it's never too, it doesn't matter what age you are. It doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter if you're at rock bottom. Actually, if you're at rock bottom, there's nothing better than to start today because there's nothing left. Start today. Once I, once I heard a question, it stayed with me. And this is a question.

[00:22:27] What is it like to be on the receiving end of me? What is it? Ask yourself, what, what is it like to be on the receiving end of you? You listening? What is it like? Think about the people around you. Who gets the best version of you? Is it the barista at Starbucks? If you go to Starbucks, I don't go to Starbucks, but I know a lot of people do. Is it the barista at Starbucks?

[00:22:56] Is it the, the waitress at dinner? Who gets the best version of you? Is it the stranger that you see is struggling on the street and you're trying to be kind? And now you feel that you've done a good thing because you were kind to a stranger, but every, everybody else around you, around you knows you as a gremlin. This is a great question. What is it like to be on the receiving end of you?

[00:23:25] Not during your best moments. Not when everything is going well. The bank accounts are stocked. Not, not when you're rested and inspired. What is it like to experience me constantly? Because that answer reveals things that achievements never can.

[00:23:55] You see a lot of people, a lot of really successful people that have built multi-million dollar brands and, and businesses, and they feel like just the achievement of that alone, the success, but did they build it with their family? Did they have that spouse there beside them happily? Did their children even know what they were doing?

[00:24:24] Were they included? Was it a happy build? These, you hear these people though, they slept on air mattresses. They had no furniture. They, they shared meals and they were happy. Whoo. Whoo. That brings goosebumps because when we were building the business, businesses, excuse me, with my mother, we had those moments.

[00:24:55] We had those moments where we, uh, we were, we were struggling to provide. We were struggling to put food on the table. My brother knew it. I know it now. I didn't notice it. I didn't notice it because what did we do every day? We were laughing. We were singing. We're enjoying. It was so fun.

[00:25:22] I love those experiences, but we were my mom. She was a single mother. Okay. She didn't, she didn't learn. She didn't go to university. They could only afford to have my dad go to school. And when the marriage broke, she didn't have the education because most of the time, the woman it's, it's me. I have to go because I'm the provider. I have to do this.

[00:25:50] She was left in a spot and it's a blessing. Okay. I'm not complaining, but she was left in a spot where she had to figure it all out. And I don't wish this for anyone. And, and when we are actually, we're talking about this because there's a lot of people going through things right now. And we're, we're thinking of really creative ways to give back, to help those single moms, especially the single moms. They're close to my heart.

[00:26:18] I know we're an entrepreneur family show because we're waking people up to not have that problem because it doesn't, I didn't, you know, the, here's the thing. Those, those children will stand behind the truth and they will stand behind the mother. See the, the, the sometimes, and it's not every case, but in many times that woman has no skills like my mom. She didn't have the skills, but she had to learn them.

[00:26:48] And as children, we watched that. And I saw wonder woman. I didn't see a woman struggling. I saw wonder woman figuring things out. That's what I saw. That's what my brother saw. And we were so connected to her. We were so supportive of her. We worked with her. We built with her. Why can't we just have that as a family? Why was it that one person has to go out and do the thing?

[00:27:15] And that wasn't the case in our family, by the way, we all did build together before that. Just the enemy stepped in and things happen. I mean, you hear it, you hear it with Andy Elliott's story. You hear it with so many people that have stepped into the light and shared their powerful story about the time where their family nearly fell apart. And the enemy could have won. Sometimes the enemy wins.

[00:27:39] The enemy could have won, but it didn't because God was stronger, because someone around that person woke them up. So that's what this podcast is about, to never stop putting work into it. Just like your business, you have to keep putting work into it. You need to keep putting work into your family. You need to keep putting work into those little babies and into your spouse.

[00:28:03] And that, so reeling it back, reeling it back to the point of the situation of, yes, things can be very hard, right? But it could be happy. You can experience it in a happy way, or it could be the complete opposite. I can't believe that this happened to me. I can't believe we have no money. Screw it. I'm just going to go. Forget it. I'm just going to go on welfare.

[00:28:33] I'm just going to have food stamps. And sometimes, perhaps that's necessary for some people to get on their feet. But I remember seeing my mom refuse it, and that ignited something in me. I remember a friend came over, and she said, why don't you just get what? There's a place you can go, and they'll give you food. She lost it. I've never seen her so passionate. She told this lady to get out. Because if she did that, what are her children going to learn?

[00:29:02] So everybody's journey is different to strength, or sorry, to build even after disaster. But what examples are you putting out there? Is it a miserable energy, or are you having joy even in the hard times, in the obstacles? So this is going to reveal your character. So it's not just, oh, I achieved great things. Sure, you achieved great things.

[00:29:31] But as I said, in success, did you lose your family doing it on the way? Because we know a lot of people that lost their family. They don't have that connection with their children. They don't have the connection with their spouse, if their spouse is even around, and their children are around. So this is a big determination of true success. We talk about true success all the time.

[00:29:56] And true success isn't the money in your bank or the businesses that you've built. It's about the legacy you leave behind. It's about what the people closest to you say. How did he treat my mother? My mom was left without a penny, really. And there's other people out there that have been left with nothing.

[00:30:21] And or as a family, they're experiencing this hardship. But there's joy. That reveals character. You can have everything in the world and still be a big old grump and lose everything that truly was meant to matter. And this brings awareness, right? And this has to wake up emotional maturity. This is leadership when you can lead someone.

[00:30:51] Because it's easy. Listen, it's easy. It's easy. I shouldn't say it's easy. It's not easy. Business is never easy. But it's easier to lead your family when the accounts are full and the business is booming and you're all building together. It's easy. I'm not going to say there's still no struggles. There's always struggles. There's always something that comes up. Could even be an illness. It could be anything. Really, anything. It's like a rainbow.

[00:31:19] It's a rainbow of obstacles that come your way, even when you're doing well. But it is easier. So we have to be brave enough to ask. We have to be brave enough to ask that question.

[00:31:36] And when we are brave enough to ask that question of what it's like to experience me constantly, it often becomes one of the most transformational questions in lives, in our lives. So think about it. Think about how you grew up. What was it like when times were tough? I'm so grateful for those memories.

[00:32:01] What a blessing it was to not even notice as a child, to not even notice. But when I looked back and I realized what was happening to be able to keep us in that big, beautiful house, the things that we had to, I want to say, sacrifice. But it was a joy.

[00:32:25] It was a joy to do it because my mother had a gift of making the environment fun, educational, all the things that I'm so grateful for today. Courageous. Courageous to not know exactly what tomorrow brings. It's beautiful. It's an adventure. We lived in an adventure. It was great. It was great. So ask yourself, what was it like growing up? What is it like right now?

[00:32:54] Those are transformational. And one thing I noticed over the years is that stress has a way of exposing patterns. We didn't know we're still there. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've watched people like a hawk. And it's not because the stress has created them. It's not because stress is who they are.

[00:33:22] It's because stress reveals who they are. The impatience. The impatience. The defensiveness. The withdrawal. The need to control things. The tendency to become critical. The fear of disappointing people. People that don't even matter. The fear of not being enough. Many of the things that surface during difficult seasons were already quietly waiting underneath

[00:33:51] since they were children. And this is why healing matters so much. Because the healthier we become internally, the safer people often feel around us and externally. I've seen this. You see it too. Look around. Look around. You'll notice it. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this.

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[00:35:18] Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. Scripture gives us a powerful reminder in the book of James 1, verse 22 through 25. Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. That's important for this transformational journey that we're going on. Do you know why?

[00:35:47] Because growth doesn't happen through awareness alone. Growth happens when awareness becomes action, right? When you, if you have a, a counselor that you go to a therapist or you have a coach, a business coach, a mentor, what do they say? It's not just the awareness alone. You have to take action. You have to pour into your relationship. You have to pour into your spouse.

[00:36:16] You have to pour into your business. So that's when I insight, insight becomes practice. When that conviction, it turns into change. It's one thing to recognize a pattern. And Tony Robbins talks about patterns a lot, recognizing the pattern, right? But then what do you do? You take action on it.

[00:36:42] So it's another thing to begin transforming it. And that's, that's where real growth begins. That's where the beauty happens. And perhaps, perhaps the aha moment today is, it's simply this. The people who love us the most deserve the healthiest version of us.

[00:37:10] We're willing to build our wives, our babies, our husbands. It doesn't have to be a flawless version. We are human. God knows that, right? We are human. It's a growing version. A self-aware version. Take the blinders off, darlings. A humble version. A version willing to apologize.

[00:37:40] I know. I know. I know. That feels like holy water on a vampire. But I'm, I'm just spitting facts here. Okay. Willing to learn, willing to heal, and willing to grow. Visualize a beautiful flower, a beautiful tree. Starts with a seed. Turns into a strong oak tree. It will withstand storms. Give yourself visuals.

[00:38:09] I always give myself visuals. Because strong families, they're not built, they're not built by people who never make mistakes, learn lessons. That's what we say, learn lessons, right? They're not. We're going to learn lessons constantly in life. They're built by people who stay, what? Teachable. Who are hungry to learn. People who remain aware.

[00:38:37] People who care enough to become better. I don't even like to hang out with people that if they hear criticism and they're like, now, do you know what I've accomplished? I am the best. I am the best. Yes, we are the best. Okay. We really are the best. We are the best. We were created in the image of God. We have, we have royal blood. We are, but we are also here to learn. That is the purpose of life.

[00:39:07] We're here to learn. Sometimes it's through the mistakes. It's a lesson. Sometimes it's through, God has a beautiful purpose for all of us and a beautiful plan. And, and sometimes as a child, as a parent parenting a child, sometimes there's going to be rocky bits. And how do we shepherd our children the best? That's the process that changes everything.

[00:39:36] Grab your journals, grab something to write with. Take a moment to slow down. Take a breath, take a breath in, take a moment to slow down and reflect with me. What is it like to be on the receiving end of me most constantly? How do I typically respond when I'm stressed, overwhelmed, or disappointed?

[00:40:06] What emotional atmosphere do I create inside my home during difficult seasons? Are there places where I need greater self-awareness? What would it look like to bring more patience, presence, and emotional safety into my closest relationships? I'm talking about your spouse and your babies.

[00:40:36] What would it look like? The rest is easy. Even to relatives that we don't see often. It's easy to slip on a switch and put on a mask. Do it during a Zoom call, during meetings, going out, interacting when you're doing the shopping or, or at your coffee shops, restaurants. It's easy to switch it on. And it feels good. It does.

[00:41:02] But what would it look like for me to bring those characteristics into my private life, into the four walls around me where I spend the most time? Let's move into prayers, prayer partners. I love this. Let's come together. Take a moment. Take a moment. Let's talk to our Heavenly Father.

[00:41:33] The one that loves us. Even in the moments that we've, that we're not, that we're not perfect. Remember, He loves you so much. In the moments that we can't control. Let's take a moment just to talk. Talk from the heart. And those of you that don't know how to pray, just talk. Just have a conversation. Just imagine.

[00:42:02] Just imagine a Father that loves you. That loves you no matter what you've walked through. Just close your eyes and speak to Him, knowing that He will not explode on you, that He will not hurt you. I don't know what your journey has been in your lives, those of you that have never talked to our Father God yet, your Heavenly Father. I don't know your journey, but He does.

[00:42:32] And He always knew. And He was always there for you, waiting for you to just talk to Him. To just talk to Him. Whether you're happy, whether you're sad, just talk to Him every day. Find a moment. It'll change your life, I promise. I get emotional. I get emotional because, especially those of us that didn't have a Father,

[00:43:01] to realize that we all along had the most powerful and best Father all along loving us. And I've always grown up in faith. There's been moments where I wasn't as close to my faith as I should have been, and I wish I would have been, because sometimes I was searching for approval through people. Goodness gracious! Oh, that's a whole other podcast.

[00:43:32] But to know that I was enough and I had the power within me, I was loved. So anyway, let's come together in prayer. Heavenly Father, help us become more aware of the impact we have on the people closest to us. Give us wisdom to see what we cannot always see ourselves. When we are blind in those moments, when we don't see.

[00:44:03] Give us the blessing of that sight. The wisdom. Teach us how to lead with humility, patience, gentleness, and above all, love. Help us create homes where people feel safe, valued, important, heard, and respected. Give us courage to grow.

[00:44:31] To see what capacity we have. To see the greatness that we have inside of us. That we are not stuck here. In this moment. Give us the courage to grow into who you created us to be. The courage to apologize. The gift that you gave us. The gift to confess. The gift to apologize. That changes our lives.

[00:45:01] The courage to heal. That it's okay to not walk in whatever we're struggling in right now. It's okay that we have the strength to take the steps to heal. And help us become people who reflect your heart more clearly inside our family. Where it matters the most. In our holy covenant each day. In Jesus name, amen.

[00:45:34] Come on people. Come on. The people closest to you will not remember every accomplishment. Truly many of them don't even care what you accomplished. They don't. Every business milestone. Every busy season. Let me tell you what they will remember. They'll remember how it felt to be loved by you.

[00:46:03] Did you love them? They'll remember how it felt to live with you. Because they were stuck with you, dang it. They'll remember feeling what it was like to live with you. They're going to tell their children, their friends, that story about you. How it felt to experience you constantly. How you treated their mother. How you treated their father.

[00:46:31] How you treated you guys. The children. And sometimes that smallest adjustment in awareness creates the biggest changes in family. Just that one day, that one aha moment. And let us be the courageous community that can call each other out. Okay? Be that man. Be that woman. Be that daughter of God.

[00:47:00] Be that son of God that calls out the ones that are going down a bad path. I'm telling you, that influence of talking behind that spouse's back can create a broken marriage. You could literally talk someone into leaving their spouse and those children on the flipping street.

[00:47:27] Or you could build that spouse up to change and become a better person and build a legacy that matters. You could be that friend. You could be that brother in Christ or that sister in Christ for that person. Imagine the power that you have within you. Just visualize it. Okay? Don't stand back and say nothing. Be courageous. Maybe it might hurt their feelings, but would you rather have them stay together or break them apart?

[00:47:58] Right? And words have power. I'm telling you, words have power. My son has a speech on it. Words have power. Who are you? What kind of man are you in the arena? Sure, you could be the man in the arena. In business. Amazing. You get up when you fall. But what do you like in your marriage? What do you like in that arena? Come on. Come on, people. If this episode spoke to your heart, share it with someone who may need this conversation today.

[00:48:27] And if these conversations have been helping you grow, heal, or build a stronger family, which I truly hope for, because that is my only intention to be here every single week for you, is that you build a stronger family. And leave a legacy that matters. Please leave five stars, five golden stars, as Daniel and Destiny say, they always say, five golden stars. I love that image.

[00:48:55] So that helps more families find this communities. And don't forget to listen together as a family to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show with Daniel and Destiny. They're helping to just bring an inspiration and this beautiful conversation about, or conversations, I should say, about courage, about family, about leadership, identity, and legacy.

[00:49:23] See, they are helping plant seeds in children. May that start young. Just like us parents, that's what we're doing. We're planting seeds for future strong, faith-filled leaders. And it's through screen-free content. You just put it on. Just play it. The whole family listens, and then you have conversations after. And if you would like to help sponsor the show, because these kids are doing this themselves.

[00:49:49] I know my family, they've helped support the children. Auntie, oh my goodness. We're just so lucky that we have people that believe, because the kids are doing it themselves. They're using their own income and the savings to sponsor the show, to grow the show. This is their thing. This is their calling right now.

[00:50:16] And it may change in the future, but this is where they feel they need to plant their flag right now, right here. Talking to those beautiful families that we've met in the community. So we're just really grateful for that opportunity. And if you wanted to help sponsor the show, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids. And also all links are in the show.

[00:50:42] Or if you wanted to, I think we have a few spots for sponsorships on the show. It's a great place for families that really care for what's going into their family's bodies, into their family's lives. It's specific, special products. If your family has something that you think would be, would align as a sponsorship opportunity, then definitely reach out.

[00:51:09] All links are at the bottom in the show notes. Listen, may your home become a place where people feel safe to be themselves. And not themselves as, as I'm comfortable with who I am. And I'm not going to grow to be a better person. But the person that God created you to be. To grow into the purpose that he has for you. That kind of safe to be themselves.

[00:51:37] And to grow, to, to, to feel safe to grow in that home. To feel safe to learn in that home. And, and to feel safe to be loved. That is, that is the final, final benediction of today. That is the final message. Glory to God always. That is who this is for.

[00:52:00] And to speak, to speak to the people looking for truthful conversations, honest conversations to bring you guys together. And I always like to say glory to God in everything, in every way. Glory to God all, all, all day, every day. We love you. See you soon. This is Becoming Unshakeable by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. God bless. Love you.

[00:52:30] Beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Arsenal Kids Show.

[00:53:00] We know you're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you.

[00:53:31] This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth.

[00:53:54] Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thanks for listening.