The Overwhelmed Mother: Why You Feel Like You're Disappearing!

[00:00:00] There are moments in motherhood where everything looks like it's being held together. The children are cared for, the responsibilities are handled, the day keeps moving forward and from outside everything looks like it's going wonderful. But internally there's a different experience happening.

[00:00:25] A constant mental load that never fully turns off. A quiet awareness of everything that still needs you. What hasn't been done, what hasn't been said, what hasn't been handled yet. And somewhere in the middle of it all, without even realizing when it started.

[00:00:52] Your capability. Not your love. You. The version of you that felt present, clear, connected to yourself. And the thought that surfaces, it's quiet, brutally honest. Why do I feel like I'm disappearing inside my own life?

[00:01:24] And this is the part that I want you to really listen to. Because when that feeling shows up, it doesn't feel like a big thing. It doesn't even feel like something you can point to clearly. It just feels like you've been carrying and carrying and carrying without a place to actually set anything down.

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[00:02:18] She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:02:41] Hello my friends and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversations bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building unshakable legacies. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. And today we're stepping into something that so many women in our community feel. But they don't always say out loud.

[00:03:11] That quiet sense of being overwhelmed. Not just by what you're doing, but by everything you're carrying internally. And listen, before we go deeper, I just want to say this to you. I see you. Not just what you do, but what you hold. Because those are two very different things.

[00:03:38] And I want to say something very important because it matters. This is not a conversation about complaining. We don't do that in this community. It's a conversation that is not going to take away from the beauty of motherhood. Motherhood is one of the greatest blessings we could ever be given.

[00:04:08] It's meaningful. It's sacred. It is something so many women pray for. I say that because I was one of them. Okay. I prayed for so many years. And I know so many women in our community have beautiful stories where they prayed and prayed and prayed. And finally, they were blessed with this gift of motherhood.

[00:04:36] But at the same time, this is a conversation about awareness. Because what happens for so many women is not something loud that happens immediately. It's something they wouldn't even necessarily name.

[00:04:56] It's something that builds quietly, gradually, over time, until one day they realize they've been carrying more than they ever stopped to notice. And that's why we're talking about it today. Not to diminish the blessing, but to... How do I say this in a most powerful way? Because this is important.

[00:05:28] To protect the women living inside of it. Let's start here. Remember, what you're feeling is not just having a lot to do. It's much deeper than that. It's the accumulation of the mental load, emotional responsibility, constant awareness, right?

[00:05:58] And very little space to rest, especially when our little ones are small. I was joking about this the other day. But it's the truth. I said, there's that age when our children, we have to be so present all the time. And many times we feel so tired. But we have to be so present to keep them alive because they're so curious. They will climb things.

[00:06:28] They will fall. They will get hurt. And we have to be on all the time, 24-7. And listen, so from a psychological standpoint, this is what's known as cognitive and emotional load saturation.

[00:06:51] Your mind is constantly tracking what needs to happen next, who needs you, right? Looking, scanning for danger, what you might be forgetting, how everything is being held together. And when that runs without interruption, your system never fully settles. It doesn't. It doesn't.

[00:07:21] And listen, you're not doing something wrong. But there hasn't been a moment to come out of that state. One of the women in our community shared it so honestly. And it was relatable. It's just something along the lines of this.

[00:07:41] It's like you're moving through your day, handling everything that needs to be handled, responding to emails, and organizing everything that needs to be organizing, adjusting, keeping things moving. And then something small happens. A child needs something again, right? Again and again and again and again all day. The diapers, the potty, food.

[00:08:10] It's constant. Your husband asks you some, the same question for the fifth time. I think she said fifth or sixth. And something doesn't go the way you expected, right? You missed the appointment, the important appointment. And your reaction feels stronger than it should.

[00:08:32] Not because the moment is humongous, but because it landed on top of everything you were already holding. And almost immediately, there's that second layer, right? That guilt, the self-awareness, the thought, why did I respond like that? That's not who I am. And what most people don't see in that moment is that it wasn't about that situation.

[00:09:02] It was about the accumulation underneath of it. Or underneath it, underneath it. And this is where it goes deeper. Because over time, when that cycle continues, something begins to happen to your sense of self. It's not this big dramatic, it's not going to be in a big dramatic way.

[00:09:31] But what it is going to be, it's going to be quiet. It's going to be gradual. You become the one who manages everything. The one who remembers everything, reminds everyone of everything. The one who holds everything together. And somewhere in that, listen to what happens next.

[00:09:57] You stop checking in with yourself slowly over time. Because everything else feels more urgent. Everyone else's situation, everybody else is more urgent, more important than you. It's true. And over time, I mean, it's not true. It's, this is how it feels, right? It's, everything is more important.

[00:10:24] Our love, because we have so much love as mothers that everyone else comes in front of us because we have that much love. Something happens, something clicks, something turns on that changes us when we become mothers. And slowly over time, because everything else feels more urgent, right?

[00:10:49] Over time, that creates a subtle disconnect where you're fully present for everyone else, everything else even. But no longer fully connected to yourself. Ouch. Ouch. This is where we need to understand something. We need to understand something clearly here.

[00:11:15] The nervous system is not designed to stay in a constant state of output. It's not how we were built. It needs cycles, engagement and recovery. Right? Recovery. I know you're giggling right now because what do you mean recovery? When do I have time to recover? Right? Giving and restoration.

[00:11:43] When do I have time to, when do I have time for that? I don't have time for that. I'm busy. Stop it. Stop it. Right? And when those cycles are missing, the system doesn't just push through. It starts to signal through overwhelm. Right? Sometimes you get triggered, irritability. Right? Things start to irritate you and you don't like that feeling.

[00:12:11] Why am I getting so irritated with this moment? It's not a pleasant feeling. It's not a good feeling. It's not a good feeling. Fatigue. Fatigue, but you can't rest. It's a type of torture. You're tired, but you cannot rest. You can't close your eyes. You're responsible for lives. Emotional sensitivity. Husbands, why are you so sensitive? Why are you so sensitive?

[00:12:39] And then you hide it because you don't want to feel like you're sensitive. Even physical symptoms over time because your body isn't able to rest. So you injure yourself either. You're easier. Your back or your body. Some of our precious mamas even get seriously sick. Immune. Their immune system takes a toll.

[00:13:08] You hear about that after the second, third baby. Mama fights the C word. Or other immuno compromising diseases, illnesses. This is real stuff. Because the body is trying to create a pause that hasn't been created intentionally.

[00:13:33] And we don't want it to get to that state. We don't want it to get to that state. But it feels impossible. I know. I remember. I still feel it. You look tired. You should have some rest. How? How? Come on. How? How? How? How? How? How?

[00:14:03] How am I supposed to get rest? How? So scripture reminds us in the book of Matthew chapter 11, verse 28 through 30, come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,

[00:14:32] and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Friends, what's so powerful about this is the invitation not to do more, but to come back,

[00:14:56] to rest, to be restored, not to carry everything alone. It's hard to ask for help. And you're saying, how? How? How? Tell me how. Pray how. How do I do this? And this is where the shift begins.

[00:15:24] Not in doing less overnight, because let's be honest. It's not always possible. And it's not in escaping your responsibilities. We're parents now, right? We're parents now. But in learning how to return to yourself within them, within the responsibilities and the moments.

[00:15:51] Because the goal isn't to remove everything you carry. Not possible. It's to no longer carry in a way that disconnects you from yourself. You see, it can look like this. Pausing. Even briefly. Before moving to the next thing. Just a breath. Just listen. Take a breath with me right now, because I'm sure you didn't all day.

[00:16:20] Sometimes I catch myself holding my breath, and I know better. Let's take a breath in right now. Let's do three. Hold it. And let it out. Hold it out. Hold it.

[00:16:52] And breathe out. And breathe in. Hold it. And breathe out. And breathe in.

[00:17:22] And return to breathing regular, normally. That felt good. We can make space for little things like that. Even while holding the baby. Babies. Changing the diaper. Changing the clothes. Moving on to the next assignment. The next task. The next meeting. Right?

[00:17:51] The next drive we have to go to. The next appointment. Notice when your system feels full. Instead of pushing past it. Acknowledge it. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I'm going to take a breath. I'm going to count the things that I'm grateful for. I'm going to count my blessings.

[00:18:19] I notice that I'm saying negative things about this. I get to be a mother. I get to take care of these children. I get to shepherd these beautiful little children. My prayers were answered. We get to change our thoughts. Always be aware of the words that you say. Allow yourself to slow down. Allowing yourself to slow down. Without needing a reason.

[00:18:50] Slow down a little bit. I know we're rushing all the time. Slow down a little bit. Not everything needs to be done perfectly. Not everything needs to be done all at once. I know the clutter looks bad and we want to clean it up right away. Take your time. Take your time. Not all at once. But consistently enough. Consistently enough that your system begins to recognize

[00:19:22] I don't have to stay in output all the time. I don't have to. I can take my time. I could take my breaths. I could take a moment to think about the things that I'm grateful for. And on and on. Right? When you begin to create even small moments of return, now something gets to shift.

[00:19:52] You respond differently. You feel more present. Less reactive. More clear. And more healthy. Physically. Even emotionally, right? Yes! Good things are coming. Because you're no longer operating from depletion. Finish your meals.

[00:20:22] I had this bad habit with my first. That I'd feed my baby first. Right? That's 100%. Yes. That's fine. That's fine. 100%. But then I'd feed my husband first. And then I'd kind of, I'd forget to eat. Because I'm taking care. Now I have to clean up. Oh, shoot. I didn't even eat. What?

[00:20:50] How did that even happen? Or at the restaurant, I was nursing for years. I'd start nursing. Everybody's eating. I'm doing this thing. And listen, as husbands, we have to notice that our wives didn't even take a bite yet.

[00:21:14] I'm going to hold the baby while she eats and then she can nurse or finish nursing, whatever it is. Or even better, I'm going to feed her while she's nursing. Right? These are things that we can help out with. Now, as I said, you're no longer operating from depletion. Back to that thought. Now you're operating from connection to yourself. You know what you need.

[00:21:44] And don't be afraid to vocalize it. Hey, can you give me some bites? I haven't been able to have, I haven't been able to eat yet. I'm nursing the baby. Can you give me some bites? If they don't notice, you tell them. You tell them. You have one body. You have one life. You have to tell them. Husbands, that's, that's a thing though. We need to notice as husbands and lift our wives, right?

[00:22:10] They are so easily caught up in doing more than they can handle without even noticing, without even noticing that part that they're doing more that they can really handle. And that's part of your leadership is stepping in and noticing. When our wives are starting to bend under the load.

[00:22:40] Because they don't even notice at times when they're disconnected. But that's what I'm saying is we need to be connected so that we can notice too when we are bending underneath the load. But because I know our husbands are listening, this is a great, and we have amazing husbands in this community.

[00:23:05] And I know that this is, this isn't something you don't know or haven't noticed. But just always, always assess the situation. You guys are so good at that, assessing the situation. You guys are so good at that. Ladies, you are not just someone who holds everything together. You are someone who deserves to feel held too, right?

[00:23:33] You are by yourselves and by our partners. Now go grab your journals and your pens or pencils, whatever you prefer to write with. Let's write some, let's write some thoughts down here.

[00:23:57] Ask yourselves, when was the last time I felt fully present with myself? Some of us have. Some of us haven't. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Shilajit by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen.

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[00:24:55] Your coffee never did that. Okay, let's just be honest. Try it for a week and tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Shilajit is next level wellness. And honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. What am I carrying mentally that no one else sees?

[00:25:22] Write it down and share it with your husband. Where could I create even a small moment to pause? I know life is so full right now for all of us. But where do you see even the smallest moment where you could pause? Through your day, where are those small moments?

[00:25:56] What would coming back to myself look like right now? What would that look like? Gentlemen, we can help our wives through these questions. We can help spot them. We can help support them. And definitely share what you've written down on this page with your husband. Don't judge yourself.

[00:26:26] Okay? Write everything down. Everything that comes to mind. If other things came to mind, write those down too. I want to take a moment to move into prayer. Come on, prayer partners. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of family. This beautiful, precious gift. This beautiful blessing.

[00:26:53] And thank you for the women who carry so much in love. Help us recognize when we are running on empty. Sometimes it's hard for us to see. Give us the wisdom to pause. The permission to rest. To take those moments without guilt.

[00:27:18] And the awareness to return to you and to ourselves. To take the moments to prayer. Even the short prayers during the day. To may you restore what feels worn. What feels tired. Strengthen what feels stretched. And remind us that we were never meant to carry it all alone.

[00:27:46] Thank you for this blessed life as parents. Thank you for these beautiful, beautiful blessings. Thank you for these beautiful memories. These beautiful moments. Thank you for all of it. We say this in Jesus' name. Amen. Mamas, if you're feeling this way. Any of it that we talked about today.

[00:28:16] You're not alone. You're certainly not behind. Okay? These are seasons. Every season is different. You've just been carrying more than you had space to release. And the moment you be... Oh, the door just opened. One of the little ones peeked in. The moment you... Just give me a second, my lovey.

[00:28:43] The moment you begin to create that space, things begin to change. Okay? Okay? Things are going to feel lighter. You're going to feel more connected to yourself. And you take the moments to pray. You're going to get answers. You don't lose yourself all at once.

[00:29:10] It happens quietly. It happens so quietly. You don't even notice. And coming back to yourself happens in the same way. We have to be intentional. Okay? We can do this. We can come back to ourselves even in the smallest ways, even in the busiest of seasons. If this episode spoke to you, if it resonated,

[00:29:38] would you take a moment and leave a kind review and five golden stars as Daniel and Destiny says? This really helps. This really, really helps. So that more couples can feel seen in these conversations. And if someone came to mind while you were listening today, share it with them. Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can do

[00:30:05] is remind someone they're not alone in what they're carrying. And don't forget to listen as a family to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show with Daniel and Destiny. This is for all our future leaders. They've been working so hard, Daniel and Destiny, bringing faith, leadership, and encouragement to children all around the world. And if you want to help support the show

[00:30:35] and sponsor it, you can do that. You can do that at buymeacoffee.com Entrepreneur Kids and you can leave any amount. The children are always so grateful. They're using their own spending to build the show. Every week they're doing two episodes a week and they are just so grateful. So thank you in advance for that.

[00:31:07] The way you care for yourself shapes the way you're able to care for everything else. I know it may feel like you don't have the time, but you have to take those moments. You have to take those moments, take those little moments to say the prayers. You've got this. You've got this, Mama. Got it. God bless you. Glory to God always. We love you all.

[00:31:36] And we will see you soon. This is becoming unshakable. God bless. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark.

[00:32:05] Listen together as a family. It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. We know your legacy. God bless you. And parents, if no one told you yet, you're doing a remarkable job.

[00:32:34] And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience

[00:33:02] and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.