Build a Legacy, Not a Life of Regret: Why Your Family Must Be Part of Your Empire

[00:00:00] You have to look at yourself in the mirror and you have to stop telling lies to yourself. And once you start becoming radically honest, not with just yourself, but sitting down with your family, then things start to change. Things start to shift. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:00:30] Yeah. She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:00:59] And everything in between. In a family business, every success feels like a shared victory. And every failure, like a shared lesson. Listen up friends! A family that builds together, thrives together. Welcome to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell. And I'm here with my beautiful wife and co-host. Il Deco Ferenzi. Hi guys!

[00:01:29] And we have another great podcast for you guys. We're going to be talking a little bit about some stuff that you probably heard us talk about before, but we really wanted to clarify certain things in our core message. Because we're getting people asking us questions. We just wanted to really put some stuff out there that lets you know the groundwork for what we do in our lives when we're starting our business with our family and putting all these things together.

[00:01:57] Sometimes they seemingly don't always work together perfectly, but we know that it's important to keep working towards that. But before we jump into that... Hey guys! We hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk Podcast. And if you are, and you haven't already, hit that like and subscribe button. It just takes a second. It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there to more listeners like you guys.

[00:02:24] And if you know anybody that might help and you can send it to them, we really appreciate that too. We also love and appreciate your reviews. Even the babies look forward to them every day. If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us. We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business. And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero. That's worth a shout out. Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:02:53] And we just want to put it out there. We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible. And you are our family. And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family. So don't forget the sh- all the links are below in the show notes. And thank you again. And let's get back to the show. This is our movement. And the reason it's so contagious is because it works.

[00:03:22] Building a legacy, not a life of regret. And this is why your family must be part of your empire. If you're building a future that leaves your family behind, and really think about that, you're not building a legacy. You're going to build regret. So let's fix this today. Most entrepreneurs, they don't intend to lose their family while building success.

[00:03:50] It just happens because they were taught wrong. And this happened in the last few generations. But if you look back, if you look back where everything was successful, families built together. The Gottmans talk about this. A lot of other really influential people that understand the breakup of families, the breakup of marriages,

[00:04:18] they understand it's because people started to go in different directions. Was it indoctrinated? Well, a lot of our community seem to think so. And we have great conversations on this. But today, we're going to just really hit on the things that you can implement today, and why it is important to include your family. Yeah, where you are right now.

[00:04:42] Where, I mean, because it's not always, it's, sometimes you don't have the perfect situation. And that can't be an excuse why not to, why not to start. It's, you start where you are with what you have, and you make it work. Yeah, you don't have to choose between your empire and your family. You are meant to build both together.

[00:05:07] And I know that it's really important, especially in the, I want to say the male side of things, to be successful, to look successful, to have the house, to have the car, to have all the things. But at home, the wife is, your roommates, the truth is your roommates. And when we have had this discussion in our community, and other people are quite vocal about this too,

[00:05:35] because people are, they're not lying to themselves anymore. They've been living lies, and they are starting to step forward and face the truth. And that is the first step that you have to do. You have to look at yourself in the mirror, and you have to stop telling lies to yourself. And once you start becoming radically honest, not with just yourself, but sitting down with your family, then things start to change. Things start to shift.

[00:06:05] Entrepreneurship isn't the enemy of the family. This is a core message for us today. Distraction, selfishness, and lack of vision are the real enemy. So when you do something that you feel is priority, you need to look at, you need to look at what goes into it. Where is it taking you? How is it affecting the family? Business, when business is done right, it strengthens marriages.

[00:06:35] And really think about that. It also raises future leaders and creates generational wealth spiritually. Spiritually, that's the most important. And then financially. Because the truth is, when you're going to steward that money correctly, it's going to come. It's going to come. And rather than fall out of your pockets, it's going to come and fill you and be fruitful. Yeah.

[00:07:04] I think that there's, and there's a slight misconception that, you know, just because there's a lot of great entrepreneurs out there that have their own, they're on their own journey. And you maybe have separated your family from your journey. But it doesn't mean that you can't incorporate them in your journey. You're, you know, we're lucky enough to have a podcast that, and recently our kids also started a podcast.

[00:07:33] If you haven't subscribed to it, please do that now. And I think that, I really do think that if you have kids that age or around that age, that it's going to change lives. And they've wanted to do that. This came out of them because they've watched us do our podcast. And we've always incorporated them into our podcast.

[00:08:00] And they felt like this was their podcast too, but they, at some point, wanted to do their own podcast. And so... They wanted to speak more directly to children about leadership and... Because it is entrepreneur kids, but perhaps not everybody is interested about in that yet. But it covers all topics from health, the eating, to exercise, to all the things that go into a resilient young man or young woman.

[00:08:29] And what I also want to add is you have to be so careful who you surround yourself with. Because they bring a lot of examples in from mentors that they have and people that they look up to. And what Daniel and Destiny always like to say is that you can't just be successful.

[00:08:50] How, if you don't have the building blocks, if you don't, if you're not able to have self-discipline, if you're not able to work on your mindset, on your... On your true... On the true things that go into leadership, how are you supposed to lead a company?

[00:09:13] How are you supposed to be a leader to your friends and future, for the future, how are you supposed to lead your wife and your children if you haven't worked on yourself? So this is the fundamentals. And he believes... This is why he's so persistent to speak on big stages, gentleman's stages, entrepreneur's stages, is because he believes he's that missing voice. He believes that adults need to see themselves.

[00:09:41] He performs the man in the arena speech within his keynote. And in the end, he wraps up and he says, you're the man in the arena. You. So I don't want to give too much away because it's his speech. But this one thing clicks for men. And when I look out into the audience, it's mostly men with tears pouring down their eyes because they understand all of a sudden what the man in the arena speech truly means.

[00:10:09] It speaks to the 10-year-old. It speaks to the 5-year-old. It speaks to the 50-year-old. And it speaks to the 75-year-old. And it doesn't matter what industry or what business you have. You've all experienced that exact same dialogue that Theodore Roosevelt expressed that day in his speech. And my son first performed it. He memorized it when he was two and a half, three. We started going over it.

[00:10:39] He knew it off by heart. At three years old, he performed it on big stages. And it just triggers something within those people. And he understands that he's the missing voice. And that's where it clicks for people when they see him perform that. So anyway, I'm really excited about that.

[00:10:57] And I love that they understand that they're able to share that with other young leaders to understand that there's going to be challenges. But you don't give up. You fall down, you get up. Right? What is that saying by the fighter? You fall down. Well, that's in Stallone's speech. You get knocked down, get back up.

[00:11:22] You know, I think that Daniel is, and Daniel and Destiny, like, they just saw that through what we were doing. And that's not always going to be the same. It's not always going to work out the same way for everybody. But you can see other entrepreneurs just incorporating their kids and their family into what they're doing right now, whatever they're doing right now. Exactly. And so it's just a way of thinking.

[00:11:51] It's marching orders for your family. It's working together to figure out how can we create together? How can we go on this mission together? How can we create something special together?

[00:12:03] And there's so many ways of doing that that also push or give that, produce that lesson to your kids and have them find themselves in you. And you guys work together to really build something special. And that's what I think we're doing right now. Exactly. And this is for the people out there.

[00:12:31] We don't want to wake up one day with the regret of, I built wealth. I built influence. But I lost the people that I was supposed to love along the way. Then you failed at the most important mission. Really think about what the mission is. What does God have planned for you? What is that? You have to leave and cleave. And then you have to build your own family. And you really, as a couple, you need to pray together. Keep those Sundays sacred.

[00:13:00] And if you can't do Sundays, I understand some people are in the juggle of it. They're struggling and perhaps that's a day that they can't do. But you have to have a day that is sacred. One, to just have your children see that, I mean, most people, it is Sunday. But if you can't, what I'm saying is create a day where you can dedicate to the Lord.

[00:13:30] Praying together as a family. Praying together as a spouse. This is one of the first orders. One of the first suggestions that we have for couples is to pray together. Things start to change because there's a lot of outside influences that will rip your family apart. And you won't even notice. I watched it happen to my family. I've watched it happen to people around me. And, I mean, we have in the community. And right now, it's stronger than ever.

[00:13:58] You have to work hard to keep everything together. And the first way to do that is through your faith. Entrepreneur parents who prioritize family time. This is another thing. So your day of faith. But family time show higher rates of business success.

[00:14:16] This is studies show that entrepreneurs who maintain strong family bonds report 22% higher business income compared to those who isolate. And that is a Harvard business review. This is, they've done the research.

[00:14:38] So we don't want to start isolating ourselves because then we truly isolate ourselves from the family. And that's how the whole snowball effect happens. And then you are living in that roommate situation. Your kids don't know you. You may be around, but you're not connected.

[00:14:58] Children raised in entrepreneurial households where they are involved even slightly, just slightly, watching, helping, learning. That's including them. Say you have maybe something that's physical, a physical product, T-shirts or another physical product they're shipping. But they're just included.

[00:15:21] It shows higher leadership skills and program solving abilities by the age of 12. That's through Forbes. Marriage, where spouses feel seen and included in their partner's dreams, are 30% less likely, let's get that clear, to end in divorce. This is by the Gottman Institute.

[00:15:49] I think, I love how when, like, just having these conversations together, when you put these conversations together, things like Daniel talking about in his podcast, he wants to come up with a question to ask during his podcast. In the middle of the podcast, you know, he comes into me as we're, as I'm looking over some of his podcast notes. And he's, he says, you know what I want to implement? I want to implement this idea where we ask a question in, in the middle of the podcast.

[00:16:18] And I didn't quite know how to do that because it's not interactive. Like, like you would think, uh, um, you know, like a Zoom call would be or something. So it's not, yeah. But he's like, yeah, let's just, let's just put the, we can, we can, we can, you know, give them the answer at the end of the show or something. Yeah, have them look for it like a, like an Easter egg hunt. It was after, it was after Easter and he wanted them to find the answer in the show notes like an Easter egg hunt. Yeah, so, so we just thought, let's put it in the show notes.

[00:16:48] So, but, you know, just exploring ideas and working together to create something because that's what you're really doing is creating something together. And when you create together, um, it, it, it binds you. There's a shared meaning. And, and I think that, you know, involving our kids in that is really something special. And the, and the truth is, you know, anybody can start a podcast on the side. You, you, you might not be able to go all in right this second.

[00:17:15] Um, you may not be able to just walk away from your job or do what, you know, you may have other obligations, but when you're working towards that and part of that, you start that by taking steps in that direction. And one of that might be a podcast. It might be a small business. It might be, um, uh, creating something together. It might be writing a book together. Whatever that is for you guys. That's, that's, that's where you start. Yeah. That's how you start.

[00:17:42] Or even if it doesn't work out, because let's be honest, coming up with something to say every single week, creating value. It's, that's a tremendous amount of pressure on your back. It's like being in a movie. Sometimes I was in that world and I remember a lot of the, I would ask people, I'd get to be around really famous celebrities and I'd ask a lot of questions.

[00:18:12] And guys, whatever industry you're in, ask questions. But I remember asking the leads and a lot of times they said, I don't want to be the lead because if this movie fails, that's on me. That's my fault. So there's, there's a tremendous amount of responsibility on, on your back as a podcast, as a, as a lead, as the CEO, whatever it may be.

[00:18:36] So sometimes you get into something and it's okay to pull back and change, not the subject, but change, uh, pivot. It's okay to pivot because it is not a failure. It is a lesson that wasn't for me. I don't like speaking. I don't like being on camera. Now they have tons of stuff where you don't even have to show your face anymore.

[00:18:59] And that's one of the things that we work with, with a small group of people within our community that want to create a business, but they don't want to show their face. Well, there's ways around that. So anyway, the, having a shared mission for your life together. That's, I think what he, Dan's trying to tap on. That's very important business that includes family naturally creates this shared meaning.

[00:19:27] When entrepreneur parents model entrepreneurship with love, with teamwork, children internalize resilience, security, and vision instead of anxiety and abandonment. I know, I know you're working hard towards your mission. And you don't mean to leave them abandoned, but you're so deep in what you're going after.

[00:19:54] You abandon your wife and your kids because they're nowhere, nowhere in this big picture that is so important to you. And they feel left out. They feel abandoned. They're trying to fight to be seen. And you feel like it's an attack as a man or vice versa. You may be the woman in the family that's going out, but you're not including anyone. So when they come at you and they're fighting for attention and to be seen and to be heard and to be loved, those are the most important thing.

[00:20:24] Guys, write that down. If you are not giving your spouse and your children that, they feel abandoned. So there's going to be resentment. It's going to add up to hate. And then you're going to wonder, why is my wife not affectionate? Why are my children not affectionate? Well, bingo, that's bingo bango. That's where it stemmed from. So there you go. So let's start talking about the tactics that we can start today. I have a big meeting and I have to cut this one short.

[00:20:52] You need to involve your family in the vision. Tonight, sit down as a family, even if it's just your spouse or even young kids. Include them. Include the shared vision. Tell them what you're building or what you want to build together and why it matters and how they are a part of it.

[00:21:15] Ask them, what would make this journey feel exciting and special for you too? I need that. I mean, you need that to happen. I need that to happen. We all need that to happen. Yeah, it's important to work together through that vision, to work on that vision together as a family. Yeah. So when children feel included, I'm going to remind you they perform better emotionally and academically.

[00:21:41] Number two, protect sacred family time like you protect your meetings. And you know how you protect your meetings. So you need to do that with your family. Schedule one to four, whatever you can fit in there. One to four non-negotiable family blocks every week. No phone, no work, no exceptions. No exceptions.

[00:22:06] Treat it like you would treat a meeting with an investor because you're investing in the most important asset and that's your family. This is what you were stewarded to protect your family. Therapist, backup, regular, undistracted time builds emotional security and trust. Number three, define your family's legacy pillars.

[00:22:34] Write down three to five values you are building with your family empire. What is it? What is it to you guys? Is it faith? Is it loyalty? Is it courage? Is it creativity? Yeah, faith will always be a part of ours. Is it perseverance? Yes. And you can get granular in those. Some of those can be like, hey, we're building our podcast. That might be it's entrepreneurship is the pillar, but it's like we're working on our podcast.

[00:23:03] This is what we have in our lives. Right now we're doing our podcast. We're maybe writing a book together. Maybe we're whatever those things are for you. I'm building family time together. I want to, you know, there's things. I mean, Daniel play chess together. You know, whatever that might be for you guys. You're building those certain pillars together with your family. Right, right. So the pillars are actually something deeper, which is the faith, loyalty, loyalty, loyalty to each other, courage, creativity.

[00:23:33] These will become your family's compass for the decisions in business and life. So as Dan is saying, when you're playing the chess or you're competing in the chess or pickleball or whatever you guys like to do as a family or you're building that business, what are the pillars within that? Within there. Is it? Well, yeah, they're the bigger picture of each one of those. Yeah. So somehow, and this is a great exercise.

[00:24:01] If you already have things that you do together as a family, add those pillars in there, identify them, write them down. And biblically, Proverbs 22, 6. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. So just a closing reminder, guys, we got a role, but we really, really appreciate and value the time that we were able to spend with you today.

[00:24:30] And I hope, I hope that it hits someone that needed to hear this message today. Entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship is not meant to tear your family apart. It is a blessing and it's meant to give your family a future. No one can take away. The empire means nothing without them. Built together, guys. Okay. Thank you guys for joining us on this week's Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk podcast. And we will catch you guys next week.

[00:25:00] God bless. Have the best week. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk podcast. We really hope you got something from this episode today. And make sure to include your family in your family business. We love you. God bless. Thank you for listening. Please leave a kind comment, a five-star review, and share this with five of your friends. We love you.

[00:25:30] Have a blessed week. Eat your vegetables.