The Battle Nobody Sees: Why Some of the Strongest People Are Carrying the Heaviest Burdens!

[00:00:00] Imagine watching someone glide gracefully across the surface of the water. They look calm, composed, successful, they look confident. Everything looks effortless. But beneath the surface, there are weights around their ankles. The current is pulling against them. And sharks are circling nearby.

[00:00:28] There's a battle no one else can see. And perhaps that's true for more people than we realize. Because sometimes the people we admire most, the people who seem strongest, the ones who appear to have everything together, are carrying burdens they rarely speak about.

[00:00:56] It's funny because yesterday, I was reminded of this in a powerful way. I was surrounded by people serving and leading, encouraging others and helping create a beautiful event. Everything looked wonderful on the surface. And only later did I learn that one of the people helped make it all happen had spent part of the next day.

[00:01:27] When they ended up in the night in a hospital with their child. The next morning, they still showed up. They still served. They still gave their best. And most people would never have known. Because that's often how life works. We see the performance, the style. We rarely see the price.

[00:01:55] And the more life that I live, the more I realize how true that is because every life has a private chapter the public has never read. The entrepreneur building a business, the parent raising children, the marriage that looks so strong.

[00:02:23] I mean, think about it. Think about the friend who always seems positive. The person smiling in the photos, in the family photos. The person celebrating a milestone. There's the person everyone assumes is doing fine. The happiest one.

[00:02:50] We rarely know what they're carrying beneath the surface. And perhaps that's why compassion matters so much. Because before we judge, before we compare, before we assume, we need to remember that everyone is fighting battles we cannot see. Now take a moment to settle in with me, friends.

[00:03:20] Because I believe this conversation may change the way we see people around us. And perhaps the way we see ourselves. Ooh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:03:49] He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:04:16] Hello my friends and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversations bonus series. A special edition brought to you by the Entrepreneur Appearance Podcast, a community of strong families building unshakable legacies. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenzi. And today I want to have a conversation about something I think we all need to remember from time to time.

[00:04:47] People are caring more than we can see. And often far more than they ever talk about. Because life has this way of teaching us that appearances can be incredibly incomplete. The strongest person in the room may be carrying grief.

[00:05:13] And the happiest person may be fighting fear. The most successful person may be carrying enormous pressure. And the calmest person may be walking through uncertainty. And yet from the outside, all we see is the surface. One of the biggest mistakes people make is believing they know someone's life simply

[00:05:42] because they could see part of it. We see a moment. Maybe it's a photograph. A business. A business that looks like it's booming. It could be a social media post. A stage. A celebration. And without realizing it, we often create a story around what we think their life must be like.

[00:06:10] But life is rarely that simple. Do you know that? Because behind every visible chapter, there are invisible chapters. The conversations nobody heard. The conversations nobody heard. The sacrifices nobody noticed. The prayers nobody witnessed. The fears nobody knew about. The burdens nobody could see.

[00:06:41] And I think the... I want to say... I don't want to say the older we get. The more experienced we get in life. I hate negative words, right? We are just getting better, okay? We are getting better. We are getting younger. We are getting healthier, right? God's promises lead into those.

[00:07:07] So I think the more experienced we get, the more we begin to understand that everyone is carrying something. And I learned this in a very personal way. And many, many times in my life, I don't like to broadcast the hard times. Because I don't want to... I don't want to...

[00:07:37] Yeah, I just... Why put that out there? Like many people. But I feel like I could really have the good example when we launched the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. People saw the pictures. They saw the new baby. They saw the excitement. They saw the launch. They saw what looked like a beautiful new beginning.

[00:08:07] And it was. It was. It was a new beginning. But what they didn't see was everything happening behind the scenes. The uncertainty. The medical conversations. The very, very tough moments. The pain. The recovery. The fear. The silent prayers.

[00:08:36] The quiet prayers, I should say, because they weren't silent. But the quiet prayers. The quiet prayers. The moments when faith became something I had to hold on to with everything I had. Everything I had. And looking back, I remembered how easy it would have been for someone to assume they understood

[00:09:06] that season simply by looking at the surface. But they couldn't have. Because they couldn't see what was happening underneath. I mean, there was even a moment. We were going through the hardest time. The hardest time.

[00:09:29] And it felt like what my husband said that people were trying to step on his neck. People that he helped. Their whole life. And they were just trying to make things harder. When they could have made it easier. The only people that he told what was going on. Oh, I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine.

[00:10:00] And listen, that's true for many people. Many people that some of the most beautiful things people create are built during seasons nobody else fully understands. I believe this is one of the reasons comparison can be so damaging.

[00:10:22] Because comparison almost always compares our behind-the-scenes reality to someone else's highlight reel. We compare our struggles to their victories. Our fears to their confidence. Our difficult chapter to their visible moment. And we forget something important. We don't know what they're carrying.

[00:10:49] We don't know what they've overcome. And we don't know what they're walking through right now. This very moment. We don't know the weights beneath the surface. We don't see the sharks that they're dodging. We don't see the current that they're fighting through. And that's why comparison rarely produces peace.

[00:11:21] I should say. I want to say never, but almost never. How about that? Because it's often built in on incomplete information. You don't have all the details. You don't have all the details. Because they're suffering in silence. They're fighting in silence. They're fighting behind the curtain.

[00:11:51] And remember, this matters in our homes too. Because sometimes the spouse who seems distracted or overwhelmed is carrying fear. And the parent who seems exhausted is carrying unbelievable responsibility.

[00:12:14] The entrepreneur who seems absent is carrying pressure. The child who seems withdrawn is carrying emotions they don't yet know how to express. Not always, but often enough that we should lead. We should lead with curiosity before judgment.

[00:12:43] And we need to always have compassion come before criticism. And how about bringing understanding before assumptions? Because many conflicts begin when people assume they know what another... How do I put this into the best words? It's we think we know what another...

[00:13:14] I'm dripping over my words. We think we know what another person is experiencing. What they're feeling. And we just assume. And that's how many of those conflicts begin. Many relationships heal when people become... Please write this down. Curious enough to ask. Brave enough to have the conversation. That's how relationships become stronger. That's how they heal.

[00:13:47] I love what we read in Galatians 6, verse 2. Carry each other's burdens. And in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. What a beautiful instruction. Carry each other's burdens. Not ignore them. Not compete with them. Not minimize them. Carry them.

[00:14:15] Because one of the greatest gifts we can offer another human being is not... It's not always a solution. Sometimes it's simply compassion. Presence. Understanding. Sometimes it's reminding someone they don't have to carry everything alone.

[00:14:43] Get curious enough to ask questions. Because many people, they're fighting things behind the curtain. Underwater. They look like a graceful, beautiful swimmer. But you don't know what they're handling. What they're... I was going to say walking through. What they're swimming through. And the truth is, we don't know what others are walking through.

[00:15:12] And we also need to be brave enough to ask people for help. Oh, I have a hard time doing that. My goodness. And I know it's not just me. We had this conversation the other day. It's many people. You know, I was listening to this incredible speaker and mentor of Daniel's.

[00:15:42] And I just got emotional when he went up there to do... He did an incredible, remarkable job speaking. He had a great, great, great, great, great, great, great speech. And I remember getting... I got emotional through the whole thing. Okay. I had... My nose was running. I was crying. It just all hit. It was just... It was wonderful.

[00:16:07] But I remember initially getting emotional because he said his friend... Okay. First, his wife prayed over him. And I know that's a powerful thing. And that's beautiful. Because she prayed over him to lean into the prayer to understand what he should do the topic on for his speech. So she prayed over him.

[00:16:35] And then she gave him the first half of what he should do. And then the second idea came from his praying friend. And it just made me emotional because it is so great to have friends like that. I've had people reach out to me. And that's one of the big reasons we have our prayer warriors in this podcast because they reach out and they...

[00:17:04] I don't have anyone to pray over me. Can you pray over me? So for me, it's a... I like to add it into the podcast. Anyway. Anyway. We don't know what others are carrying. Sometimes we need to be brave to ask others for help. And we also need to be curious just to check in on our friends.

[00:17:31] I mean, just pray for the people that are around us. Or even pray for strangers or whoever needs to cross our path. We always have the prayer of may God weed out everyone that doesn't belong in our circle and also bring the right people into our path. And that could be just someone that we meet in the supermarket.

[00:18:00] Get curious enough if something inside your heart, there's a message of, hey, can I pray? Can I pray for you? Or just have a conversation? With a stranger? You just never know what can happen. You never know what blessings you could tap into, not only for yourself, but for others.

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[00:19:47] Before you assume, be curious. Before you judge, be compassionate. And before you compare, I know, I know it's almost impossible. If you just aren't aware of it and you're, you get on, you watch something or you get on social media, right? Be careful before you compare.

[00:20:17] Remember that every life has a private chapter. The public never gets to read. The truth, the truth is, the facts are that many people we admire most are carrying battles we know nothing about. No clue. Many of the people who seem the strongest are navigating pressures.

[00:20:47] They've never spoken aloud. A hundred percent. I've been there. I've been there. Many of my, my close friends have been there. And many people who appear to be floating effortlessly, right? Just swimming gracefully are actually swimming with weights around their ankles.

[00:21:20] Never, never look at it as weakness. They have to go through things. And you keep going and you keep pushing. That's it. It's, you need, you need to think of it as courage. And perhaps, perhaps we should, we should give more people credit.

[00:21:50] I don't know. I don't know why. I'm getting, I'm getting, it's, because it's true. I'm getting emotional because, because it's true. Give people more credit for the battles they're fighting quietly. And that includes ourselves. Because sometimes the person you've been the hardest on lately is you.

[00:22:16] And maybe today is an opportunity to recognize how far you've come, how far you've come. How much you've carried without dropping everything, without falling over. How much you've been carrying that heavy load. How faithfully you've kept moving forward. You kept praying. You kept praying. You kept talking to God.

[00:22:46] Nothing's happened yet. And remember, remember, his timing is perfect, but it still hasn't happened. But you're faithfully putting one foot in front of the other. You're faithfully, you're faithfully keeping your prayers. And you're faithfully keeping moving forward. Even, even when life felt much heavier than it looked on the outside.

[00:23:17] I, I, I believe, I believe, I could, I could, I could believe that everyone listening can relate to this. I think so. Let's grab our journals and something to write with. Take a moment to slow down, just slow down and reflect. So let's start with the first question.

[00:23:43] Have I been making assumptions about someone else's life without fully knowing the full story? That didn't make sense. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I'm going to say it again. Have I been making assumptions about someone else's life without knowing the full story?

[00:24:09] Have I been making assumptions about someone else's life without knowing the full story? Where might I need to replace judgment with curiosity? That's good.

[00:24:36] Have I been comparing my reality to someone else's visible success? Visible. Visible. I say visible success because we don't know what they're going. We don't know what's going on behind the scenes. We don't know. What burdens am I carrying that I may need to help bring before God?

[00:25:08] Ask him for help. Ask him for guidance. He always knows the way. Talk to him. How can I extend more compassion to the people closest to me this week? We don't know what they're carrying, right?

[00:25:35] We don't know what people are carrying in the room that we're in with the four walls that surround us with the people that we spend the most time with. Let's extend more compassion to those people, our friends, our colleagues. More compassion, more curiosity.

[00:26:03] Now, prayer warriors, let's come together in prayer. Two or more. Let's go. Right? Heavenly Father, thank you for being the God who sees what no one else can see.

[00:26:22] You see every burden, every fear, every prayer, every struggle, every unseen act of faithfulness. Help us become people of compassion, people who lead with understanding, people who offer grace before judgment. Teach us to carry one another's burdens well.

[00:26:51] And remind us that we never carry our own burdens alone. Thank you for walking with us through every season, every step, both visible ones and the hidden ones. In Jesus' name, amen.

[00:27:23] It hit me for a moment. I remember after my brother passed, my mother felt many feelings. Many feelings. And one was that she felt God had left her alone. She couldn't understand why this child that had so much potential,

[00:27:52] why the one who would take the shirt off his back. He went to work a construction job to help put food, food on the table so that he didn't take it. Because he also worked in the jewelry store with us, the family business. But he didn't want to take food off the table. And he knew he wanted to be an attorney. So he wanted to pay for his college a different way, even though my mom begged him not to.

[00:28:22] And this is the type of mindset this child had. And he went to go work a construction job, which ultimately took his life in just a fluke accident. He was incredibly responsible. But they didn't have a guard on the machine. And just, it just all happened so quickly. And she felt very alone.

[00:28:51] She couldn't understand. There was anger. There was sadness. There was grief. I mean, she said, I know your spouse is supposed to go. The parents are supposed to go. But a child, this one doesn't make sense. And a very good friend brought this beautiful reminder of, I don't know if you know, the footsteps poem. And I don't know it off by heart. I should have. I should have.

[00:29:20] I didn't even know I was going to talk about this. But basically, someone looks back. There was two footprints on the beach. Two footprints walking all along their life. I'm going to get emotional. And during the hardest time of their life, there was only one walkway of footsteps.

[00:29:50] There was no longer two people walking beside each other. The one that was representing my mother or whoever out there is going through a hard time. And the other one, our Lord. And they looked and they asked. They said, why? Why would you leave me during this time? The hardest time of my life. Why would you leave me? Why did I have to walk alone?

[00:30:17] And it was something along the lines of this. Of my daughter. My son. I did not leave you. I was carrying you through those times. It hits because my mom was having such a hard time when she put that somewhere where she could see it every day. Because life was never, never the same. Never the same.

[00:30:45] And truly the only thing that got us through it was that thought. And of course, just tapping into the beautiful memories with my brother. The evening before. We never fought. What a blessing that was. He was always just such a blessing to be around. Truly an earth angel. Never.

[00:31:14] I've never saw him mad. Never saw him annoyed, irritated. And he could have been. He could have been. He had a lot of chores. And as a single mother, he really had to fill the boots of my father. The shoes, the boots, whatever you want to call it. So he was a father figure in the home. He was someone that she could lean on.

[00:31:42] And then, anyway. So I'm just saying. A lot of people, they didn't know that about my mom. They didn't know what she was going through. They didn't know the things that she had gone through. But someone took the time to get curious, to talk to her. And give her that blessing of an answer. Many things in our life will not make sense.

[00:32:10] But, you know, just stay close to the Lord. Stay close to the Lord. He will carry you through those times. I believe in that. He is a God of miracles. He is a God of love. He is a God of healing. He can heal hearts. He can heal bodies. We just have such a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Lord.

[00:32:36] If this feels heavier than it looks right now. If life is feeling heavier, then it looks on the outside to others. I hope you know that God sees what others cannot. He sees the effort. He sees the pain. He sees the courage.

[00:33:06] He sees the faith. He sees the tears. He sees the perseverance. He sees all the battles you fought quietly. He saw the voices talk behind your back. When you were going through the hardest times. He saw it all. He saw it all.

[00:33:37] And he saw the strength it took to keep moving forward. He saw what that looked like. He saw what that felt like. So give yourself some grace. Keep showing up. Keep trusting. Keep swimming. Because sometimes the people making the most progress are the ones carrying the most weight.

[00:34:07] The people. The people who appear to be floating effortlessly may actually be swimming with weights around their ankles. Be kind. Be kind. You never know what someone is carrying beneath the surface. If this episode encouraged you today. Share it with someone who may need this very reminder. This very conversation. This message.

[00:34:37] And if these conversations have been helping you grow. Strengthen your family. Heal. And build an unshakable legacy. Please leave a kind review and five golden stars. It helps more families discover these conversations and become a part of this community.

[00:35:00] And don't forget to listen together as a family to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show with Daniel and Destiny. Where they are just having these beautiful, inspiring conversations. conversations for the next generation of strong, faith-filled leaders.

[00:35:21] And it's always through conversations about courage, leadership, character, family, business, history, and legacy. All the things. They come up with all these beautiful topics and they have all the different pillars. And it's just such a great conversation. A screen-free conversation to listen to with your family. And if you would like to support or sponsor their show.

[00:35:51] They're doing this on their own. If you would like to help, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids legacy show. They thank you in advance. They're always incredibly grateful. Listen, before we part today, I need you to remember that every person you meet is carrying a story you cannot fully see.

[00:36:19] May you lead with compassion. May you choose curiosity over judgment. And may you offer grace freely. And never underestimate, never underestimate the courage it takes for someone to keep moving forward while carrying unseen burdens.

[00:36:45] Your positive words could literally be breathing life into someone that feels like giving up. Be kind. Be kind. God bless you. Glory to God always. We love you. And we're proud of you for showing up, for growing, and for persevering.

[00:37:15] Keep continuing to build an unshakable legacy. This is Becoming Unshakable by the Entrepreneur Parents podcast. We love you and we will see you soon. God bless. Beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast.

[00:37:45] It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Entrepreneur Kids.

[00:37:56] You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story.

[00:38:23] Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth.

[00:38:53] Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.