Letting Go of Who You Used to Be, to Become Who You Are Meant to Be!

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[00:00:57] No purchase required. Terms supply available at pockethost.com. For me, it was hard because I gave birth to this new version of myself and it was so terrifying at first. I really thought that I was losing the woman that I worked so hard to become and I know men feel it too, but through that journey, you have to trust and God showed me I wasn't losing her. I was refining her.

[00:01:27] Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe? Yeah! She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a $100 million clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:01:56] Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. The greatest enemy of progress is your last success. Quote by Tony Robbins. I had to learn. Fight for the woman I am becoming. Quote by Lisa Turbos. Welcome back to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell.

[00:02:26] I'm your host and I'm here with my beautiful wife and partner and co-host. Ildiko Ferenzi. I'm so happy to talk to you guys today. We have a great topic. Yes, we do. We're talking about some of its... I know I probably, if I want to take accountability, it probably affected me a little bit.

[00:02:48] We're talking about the identities and beliefs and habits that once served us so well and maybe helped us survive, maybe helped us become who we were, but now we're holding on to and they're actually holding us back. So, you know, this stuff's in... And you may not quite identify that. So we want you to listen to this because you may not even see it in yourself yet. You may not even know that you're dealing with that, but there's so many people that are

[00:03:19] and we see it every day. I can pick it out. Once you know you've had it or done it, you can pick it out in other people. Right. Or you may be struggling with this very thing that you've identified and are trying to figure out who you are now, but it's a real and raw but necessary conversation. So before we jump into it... Before we jump into that... Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

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[00:04:14] We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business. And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero. That's worth a shout out. Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well. And we just want to put it out there. We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible. And you are our family. And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:04:40] So don't forget, all the links are below in the show notes. And thank you again. And let's get back to the show. And dear friends, this is an important one. And a lot of people don't want to face it. And it's a hard one. You got to look in the mirror and you're going to have to take that breath. And you're going to have to let go of who you used to be. So you can become who you were born to be.

[00:05:09] Write that down. Write that down. Look in the mirror. Because it is a gift. And you may not even realize it. But there's a version of you clinging to your old ways, your old winds, your old wounds, whatever that is. And that version can't walk into the future God has for you if you hold on to that identity. It's time for a change.

[00:05:35] And I feel like when we become parents, there's a rebirth. And in this episode, this is your permission to evolve. Maybe you're hearing this for the very reason because you're struggling with trying to go back to who you used to be when really this is the permission to evolve, to release, to say goodbye to the hustle version of you or the one that version of you that never rested.

[00:06:05] Yeah. The scared version of you who only knew survival or even the successful version of you who no longer fits this season. Right. So it's time to grow or glow spiritually, emotionally, and just becoming the leader your legacy needs. You're in a different season, especially as parents. So go on.

[00:06:34] I know you were going to cut in, but I just didn't want to cut off my thought. You had the thought. And it's that exactly is that there's different reasons why you have to leave that behind. You know, there's that guy who maybe had a nine to five job and has decided that, you know, he wants to become an entrepreneur and he's, he needs to let go of that person he used to be to become the person he needs to be.

[00:06:59] And, or there's that guy who, you know, you see it so much in these like tech entrepreneurs, I think like Brian Chesky, who the CEO for Airbnb, when those guys were young or even the guys for like YouTube, you know, you see them when they were young and they were just like these young college kids that were running around and, you know, they kind of be who they wanted to be. And now you see them up on stage. So poised when they give these lectures, they had to become that person.

[00:07:28] They probably didn't feel like that when they first started their business. The whole point of it was just, they had, why it was called Airbnb air was because they had, it was about putting air mattresses in your house and letting people sleep in your house on these air mattresses. That was the point. And so they did, they were just in San Francisco deciding, you know, we're going to, we're trying to get people to do this and it was like fun. And they were having, you know, college parties.

[00:07:52] And, and then now he's, you know, the, the CEO of this multi-billion dollar brand. And he had to become that person. He had to feel like he could fill those shoes. You have to believe that you can fill those shoes and you have to leave that old person behind. I think even for myself, you know, if anybody knows what I looked like, uh, you know, 15

[00:08:17] years ago, 10 years ago, um, I just had a different look and, and I, it was part of us building our business. It was part of when we were first started tap out. That was, it was a, it was a marketing piece. It was, it was what, it was characters that we were playing. We were former police officers. We didn't have to dress like that. We were out dressing crazy because it was part of our marketing and we kind of became those people in some way. It was a part of us.

[00:08:47] And then there has to, there was a point where I had to get past that and I had to not be that person anymore. The truth is, and this is what's so funny is when we talk about it and I said, if I would have met you then we never would have been together. We never, ever. No, I promise. I don't know about that. No, we wouldn't have been. You took one look at me across the dance floor. Oh, it wasn't my style. It wasn't my care.

[00:09:16] It wasn't, it just, I was in a different place. I was wearing suits. I was wearing, you know, just, I was a very elegant woman. I'll just be truthful. And you were like a wannabe gangster. Your pants were a sec. Like we just, we would have walked down. When I first met you, I was like that. We wouldn't. Come on. Let's face it. When I first met you, you walked up. I was like, wow, this girl looks like a billion dollars. Stop. No. And, and yeah, it was true. No, but I'm just saying. When you walked up, when we first met, I was.

[00:09:46] You didn't look like when you show me the pictures. I was like, I don't even know that guy. Yeah. I don't know that guy. And we would have walked right past each other on the street. We had different goals. We had different mindsets. We had different, we were just in different places. Not even the way that, just the way that we looked, the way that we carried ourselves. And that's not a bad thing. That's, it's kind of cool to go.

[00:10:15] When I looked at my kids, when I, when they see a picture of you, they're like, who is that? They don't even recognize you. And I don't even say anything. I'm like, nevermind. As soon as I saw you, I knew I wanted to be a different person. I was like, I saw you walk up and I was like, you know, I'm like, maybe over here, I saw you walk up. I was like, oh man, this girl's way out of my league. But I was like, what am I going to do to like be in her league? What do I need to do?

[00:10:45] And I just started thinking about it. And I think what connected us was the conversation. I mean, not that my mind wasn't there. It was because my mind was there, but the way I was portraying myself wasn't. And I don't feel like that was truly who you are or meant to be. And I feel like sometimes we argue about it. But here's the thing. So some of you are grieving about who you were, the freedom, the money, the success you thought mattered.

[00:11:14] But here's the truth. Just because it looked shiny doesn't mean it was sacred. And sometimes what looks like a loss, and think about this, friends, what looks like a loss is actually heaven's upgrade. So, I mean, we argue about this a lot that you feel like you needed to go through that.

[00:11:39] I feel like, sure, I may have needed to go through some of the things in my past. But at the same time, there's a lot of times I didn't make the best choices. And I just want to be heartfully, truthfully honest. And I mean, maybe 10 years ago, I would have said, no, everything happens for everything. But I feel like I'm in a different place in my life where I'm humble enough to say, you know what? I did.

[00:12:08] I really did make a lot of mistakes. And if I think back, I feel like the enemy was coming at me in ways that was disguised. And I didn't even realize it. But if I had a second chance, I could identify it so much easier. But anyway. Well, that was a little cryptic. But it's like, no, I'm just thinking like this. No, but seriously.

[00:12:34] Seriously, if I had the knowledge that I know now, I wouldn't have made the mistakes. I probably wouldn't have let certain people, even in my vicinity, close to me. Because I know better now. I know better now. When I became a mother, I didn't just give birth to my child. I gave birth to a new version of myself. And every day, and this is what I want to invite. Men have to become that person too.

[00:13:01] As men, as women, as mothers, as fathers, we need to evolve and be okay with growing into a different person. And also just take inventory of everything that's going. You're going to notice now, knowing what you know now, that spiritual warfare, it is a thing. It is a thing. And it wants to keep you trapped in that old you because it doesn't want you to evolve and fall into your God-given destiny, to do the thing that you were born to do.

[00:13:30] Yeah, especially, you know, you see this too in young people who, before they were married, that single life that they were living, and they think that somehow they want to keep a piece of that in them. You know, they want to be those people still. There's still something that's longing for them to, you know, escape or something. And they realize that's the enemy trying to get a piece of you. You're trying to like, you need a single trip to Vegas is what you need in your life right now.

[00:13:58] And that's exactly what no married person needs in their life right now, is a single trip to Vegas. Especially the first two years of having a baby, they say, those are the years that rips the marriage apart. That's the biggest divorce rate. You know why? Because it's, and we've talked about this on the show before. You're going to give birth to a new version of yourself, and it's terrifying if you don't fall into it. And if you have the wrong community around you, you're in big trouble. You're probably having hardship in your relationship.

[00:14:27] And it's just like a trip like that to go, yeah, and she does this, and he does that. Oh, gosh, you can. And now you have somebody who, you know, happens to sit next to you at a bar or something and says a couple nice things to you. And you're like, oh, okay, all, you know, all my good, you know, good managers go out the window. My marriage goes out the window. Everything goes out the window. And, you know, you can't be that person.

[00:14:55] And that's why you have to become this new person, this new person who is the leader of your household, who is the leader of your family, who's built, you know, who you and your wife are going on this, this, this mission together to build something, a legacy. Listen up, friends. You don't want to miss this one. It may be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Are you an entrepreneur, a parent, or someone building something that truly matters? Well, then you need to hear this.

[00:15:25] This is your invitation to step into the spotlight on one of Apple's top 10 podcasts, the Entrepreneur Parent Pretty and Punk podcast. I'm Ildiko Ferenzi and alongside my husband, Dan Caldwell, we host conversations that most families are too afraid to have. From building a legacy to balancing marriage, parenting, and business, the struggles, the juggles, and the breakthroughs.

[00:15:54] This is where life meets real impact. With thousands of downloads, a loyal audience of parents, and legacy-driven couples. This is more than exposure. It's a loyal connection. You'll walk away with a high-impact feature episode, pro-content clips to elevate your brand, and credibility standing beside voices that are shaping the next generation.

[00:16:23] Your story could be the light someone's praying for in their darkest moment. If you're building something that truly matters, you're not just invited. You're needed. Apply now. Spots are limited. If you feel that tug on your heart, don't wait. Message us right now at contact at prettyandpunk.com. That's contact at prettyandpunk.com.

[00:16:48] I think that's a problem where a lot of times, as women, we want to go back to who we were, or we just get so lost in who we are now, we forget that we're building something together. This is our biggest mission here. This is what Saving Marriage is, and this is what our community is about, is including not only your spouse, but now your family on this mission.

[00:17:12] So what I just wanted to touch on this, for me, it was hard because I gave birth to this new version of myself, and it was so terrifying at first. I really thought that I was losing the woman that I worked so hard to become, and I know men feel it too, but through that journey, you have to trust, and God showed me I wasn't losing her. I was refining her, and men, you need to discover this too.

[00:17:40] It was opening to who you were supposed to be, who you were supposed to become. And we're peeling back every layer that wasn't eternal. And in the mess, in the motherhood, in the fatherhood, in the moments, when I thought I wasn't enough, he was rewriting my legacy. He's rewriting our legacy. Everyone listening, he's rewriting our legacy. And I stopped chasing validation and started building my mission.

[00:18:09] I came face-to-face with my husband, with our mission, and that changed everything. And that's what I'm encouraging you guys to do, is to stop chasing who you were and step into your mission, your assignment, your God-given destiny, because you're in a place where you can do that now. And you're going to see it clear as day. If you just get into the right community, you start listening to the right things and the right people, you're going to see it.

[00:18:39] It's going to be so clear. And you're going to be stretched. Here's the thing, is that when you know you're coming to that place, when you're fighting it a little bit, because you're being stretched. It's the person who knows that they have something in their heart, and they want to become maybe an influencer or a coach teaching somebody something, but they feel like they have those limiting beliefs.

[00:19:03] They're feeling like they don't have what it takes to teach people or to become that person on social media. They're fighting it. They don't want to get in front of the camera. Whatever that might be, or the fact that they need to run this company, that they're building this new company, and they're thinking they don't have the ability to do that. They don't have the know-how, and they're worried they're going to fail. It's the enemy in your ear telling you you're not good enough.

[00:19:31] And so when you feel that, when that piece attacks you a little bit, when you feel it in your gut a little bit, like, oh, I can't do this. I can't be a speaker on stage. I can't become that person. Or maybe it's I want my old life. I still want to be where I'm comfortable because that was comfortable. That was easy to do. That's who you were. You were so easy to be comfortable, but you need to be out of your comfort zone. You only grow. Trust me when I say this.

[00:20:01] You only grow when you're out of your comfort zone. You will never grow while you're sitting inside of your comfort zone. That's not where you grow. That's not where anybody grows. That's right. And that ambition, you didn't lose it. You just shifted your mission. And now, now you build with legacy in mind. As soon as you become a mother or a father, you need to switch that mindset. We're building a legacy now.

[00:20:26] And you went from building a brand to building a bloodline of purpose. And let's just bring it back to the good book. Isaiah 43 says, forget the former things. It's written right there. Forget the former things. I am doing a new thing. If you needed confirmation, there it is. Write it down. Put it on your bathroom mirror and just be excited about the journey.

[00:20:56] Because sometimes we keep trying to edit a chapter that got already closed. It's already done. It's finished for you. And what if he's handing you a brand new page and asking, will you trust me enough to write a different ending? How can you accept his gift if you haven't shut that other chapter? Right? It's, I mean, it sounds so beautiful.

[00:21:23] Yeah, I think it's true when they say doors are going to close and other doors are going to open. It's all about this. This is what they're talking about. And I came up with a few reasons. You may have more reasons, but listen to my reasons here first. See if you think I'm on point here. So I was trying to think of what are the reasons that people do this? You know, why does this become a part of who we are? Why does it take over our personality a little bit? And one of the reasons I came up with just old habits.

[00:21:52] You know, people who are just like, they're used to that. They're used to being that person so much that they just don't want to step out of that personality. It's hard. Like the person we're talking about who, you know, was their single life. For their single life, that was their old habit. They were just used to going out. They're used to being everywhere by themselves. They're used to doing everything by themselves and, you know, not having those conversations with their family. They're used to being on vacation by themselves.

[00:22:21] They're used to going places by themselves. And so it makes it hard for them to, you know, transform into this new person, whether that be a mother or father, and become this person who's now leading and now has a family and bringing everybody together. Because your job is to bring everybody together. Right. You're the leader of this family, especially if, I mean, you know, especially if you're a man. One of the other reasons I thought was limiting beliefs. Like they, and we talked about that.

[00:22:50] You just don't feel like you can do it. You don't feel like you're that person. You don't feel like you can be that person. Like you can step into those big shoes. You're not ready for that. You think you're not ready. That's a lie. God's chosen you. Yeah, exactly. He knows you're ready. But you're scared to step into those shoes, so you're fighting it. You just don't want to. And the beautiful thing is, is when you really think about it, God chose you.

[00:23:14] God chose you on purpose for your children, that he chose you on purpose for who your wife needs. And sometimes it's a challenge because it's too much and you feel like you can't handle it. But you can. It's in you. You have everything within you to raise those children because every single child is different. As a parent, we can definitely admit to that. All of our children are different.

[00:23:43] And listen to this part. One day, your house will be quiet. Your phone might ring maybe once or twice a week when the kids are grown, if you're lucky. I mean, maybe you have a close relationship. But really, there's going to be that time when your kids are off doing their own things. Raising their own families. So don't try to wish it away. These tiny fingerprints will fade.

[00:24:11] So don't get so lost in this season that you don't get to enjoy it. Enjoy the chaos you're drowning in now. It's a beautiful thing because they will become memories that you hold the most dear. I promise you when you're 80, 70, 60, you're going to be begging to go back one more time. And it's not going to happen. So don't wish it away. Don't miss it. Don't wish it away. This moment matters right now where you are.

[00:24:40] And it feels like a lot. But you were chosen for this. And the enemy wants you to put... You have those four years. And every... You have your newborn for how long? Just a few months. Then it's an infant. And then they become an infant. Then a toddler. Then a child. And it goes so, so, so quick. I know. Our kids are getting so big. I still carry them. I still pick them up because I... Well, they're still little.

[00:25:09] The second I won't pick them up anymore. If you put them in... You put their little hands. I know. I mean, the newborn moment. But they're not little babies anymore. Well, the newborn moment is only a moment. Yeah, it's only a moment. It's six months. It goes so fast. What I would do to get that back for, you know, a day. Yeah. And you're not who you used. I miss that. Of course. So that's why I will never stop carrying. Of course. They will be 18 years old and I'll still be carrying them around because I miss that moment. So much. It happens so fast. They really still are so little. So we are lucky.

[00:25:38] But I know what you mean. I do. I miss that newborn phase. And anyway, so you're not who you used to be. And you're not broken. You're becoming. And this becoming, it's holy ground. Well, that's why I just... Well, I just wanted to give the last explanation. Go, go, go. It was just... And you may have another one. So I just said old habits. Okay. That's my first one. You know, it's just like you're just... It's who you were. So you're just used to that.

[00:26:07] And this next last one is kind of similar. But I think it's different though. And limited beliefs. Like you don't believe you can step into that new role. That person you're supposed to be. That person that you're becoming. That you need to be. That you know you need to step into. I always think of... If you ever listen to Joel Osteen, he talks about, you know, he was behind the camera and he never thought he was supposed to be a preacher. Right. And then he just felt like he had this calling on his heart that one day he just had to step up and become that person. He took over the legacy.

[00:26:37] And that's one of the best stories of anybody that I've ever heard about that person that needs to step up. They know they need to fill those boots, but they're afraid to. And the last one is just outdated roles that they're, that they wanted to, you know, that they feel, and this is probably mine, you know, probably best explains what my position was, is these outdated roles and these labels that we put on ourselves. Like I'm this person.

[00:27:05] I'm this, you know, I'm supposed to look like this. This is the guy that we used to have a TV show. We had our own TV show for two seasons. It's dangerous though. So people recognize me as that, you know, I saw people, I was in the grocery store not too long ago and this guy walks up to me, recognized the logo on the back of my neck. So he walks up to me, Hey, you're, you're one of the owners of Top Out, right? You had that TV show. I watched all your shows and I barely, you know, I didn't recognize you because you didn't have your hat backwards is what he said. You know, like that's, that's, that was my identity.

[00:27:35] And so, you know, you, we have these labels on ourselves that we feel like we're supposed to be that person. One of your identities, but you're made for so much greater. Well, that's what I mean. You got to step outside of that. You got to be okay to step outside that. And it took a while for me to kind of step outside that, but you know. I feel like we were meant for that in a part where I saw a lot of people trying to pull you back into that role, into that character.

[00:28:02] And I was just like, I don't feel like these people have the best intention because they want to go to a fight or they want to, uh, have you invest in a company that like, oh, fighting this, fighting that. And I just see so much more to you than that. There's so much more. And, and when we connect with these big, you know, multimillion dollar companies and you're consulting for them, then you're like, oh yeah, this is what I was meant to be.

[00:28:30] Cause I, cause I always felt mentally comfortable to be there. Right. And now we're even in a different place where now they're so successful, but they're losing connection with their wife and their kids and they're willing to pay whatever it takes. You think they're willing to pay what it takes to build a company. Now imagine once you've built that company and now you're losing everything. It's a landslide.

[00:29:00] Your wife is packed up. She's ready to go. You have no connection with your kids and you just need someone to talk to that gets it. And you'd be surprised on what people are willing to pay when they're in that part of their life. And we just, if we can stop that from happening before it gets to that, so you don't have to, to, to get to that point. I mean, then we know we're doing our job. We're doing our calling.

[00:29:28] But I just wanted you guys to just do this, this legacy shift challenge. I want you guys to write this down. I want you to take about 10 to 15 minutes and you can just take a snapshot of the minutes on the show right now. I want you to ask yourself, if you're driving, don't close your eyes. I mean, we can do this exercise right now. Take a snapshot of where you are on the podcast.

[00:29:57] I want you to ask yourself, who am I no longer called to be? And just be, just be so honest with yourself. This is the first question. Who am I no longer called to be? Now, number two. I could see that. So like for me, it would be like, you know, the guy that I was running Tap Out, you know, that's the person I'm no longer called to be. I don't need to be that person anymore. Right. I'm a new person. I'm my own person.

[00:30:27] I'm a guy who built this, you know, multi hundred million dollar company. And obviously with my partners and, but it's, you know, that's what, who I was and I don't need to be that person. And I feel you may have had different roles. I feel like when I was 11, 11 years old and my brother, who is my father figure, passed away, I had to become kind of like the man of the house for my mother. Yeah. It's a role change. You had to be a different person. And I had to, I became someone else.

[00:30:56] I'm no longer that person, but I had to grow up very strong. Then when I, I founded the architectural concrete company, it's like, I wanted to be around these powerful men that were like father figures to me. And I had to be this strong. You had to almost hold your own on that level. Right. And very masculine. If, if, I mean, in construction world, hello, totally.

[00:31:21] I was this petite, tiny little thing, but I was so strong and powerful. And I learned that strength from my mom and I loved it and it was impressive. And, and I felt this love and wow, you're, you have an architectural concrete company. I loved that feeling of, of, of who I was. Then I was, you know, I went after my passions. I became, came the actress. Who am I no longer called to be?

[00:31:48] My roles have changed so many times throughout my life. Life blessings or spiritual warfare, whatever it is, but I'm in a different place now. So identify all of those things. Outdated roles. That's one of them. Outdated roles. That's one of mine here. And, and I mean, and that's something we sometimes joke about. Have you ever thought about it as a joke? You think about those, those guys, you know, the, like a Motley Crue or somebody, you know,

[00:32:16] up on stage, they're like 70 years old and they got, they got these tight leather pants on. I was so scared of that when those people would be like, Hey dad, Hey, tap out dad. I'm like, do you really want to be Hulk Hogan? Like when he's still wearing the yellow costume. I saw poor Paula Abdul. It was a, they had a video of her, you know, poor, you know, poor Paula Abdul. They had her on TMZ and you know, she's, they have her up on stage in the middle of her concert.

[00:32:45] They had to bring out oxygen for her. And she's like, this is, this is, this is rock and roll at 65 or something like that. Whatever she said. And, uh, you know, I just, you don't want to be that person. You can't. I mean, they could have been, look at, you know, who's a great example of that. I just thought of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Think about this guy who started out as a bodybuilder who in that season in his life wanted to be the best, biggest bodybuilder in the world.

[00:33:12] And he was, he became the best in the world. Right. And he could have just stayed in that. You know, he could just be like, that's me. That's my identity. I'm the best bodybuilder in the world. He could have worn that leotard. Until he was. Yeah. He could have still been, you know, he could have been judging, you know, be becoming a judge at the champion, you know, won the title again over and over and over again and just kept stayed in that space, maybe built his own products, you know, just stayed in that space.

[00:33:40] But instead he decided to step outside of that and become one of the greatest act. Well, I don't say the greatest actor, but one of the biggest action stars in the world. And at one point he was, and then he stepped outside. And he started that again and became the governor of California. You know, he grew with who he was and not that I always agree with his politics, but it's like he, he was this person and, uh, and he became this person.

[00:34:07] And I just, I, I, you know, you want to see people progress like that. Yeah. That's what I see in you. And I feel like that's the thing we want for our community too, is just to realize that they have so much more within them. And I think that's what this podcast is about to wake them up. So number two, here's the next question. What belief, identity, or fear am I still carrying?

[00:34:33] What belief, identity, or fear am I still carrying right now in this moment? Like that's a big part of it for sure. Right. And, and that's what we were talking about. A lot of it was the, the identity, but even the belief. I'm scared to leave, you know, I'm scared to leave that person because that's what I'm known for. That's what people know me for. And that's what people wanted you to be. They wanted me to be that person.

[00:34:59] And that, I felt like just let him, there's so much more to you than that. And I, when you tell me stories about even your partner that passed, I feel like he had this pressure to wear the mask and be that person when he could have been some, something there, there was so much more and so many more layers. He would have became the person.

[00:35:28] He's, he was a very smart guy. And I think he was ready to let it go. He was always an inspirational guy. He would have been a different person at some point. We had another season. He got killed right before our third season of our show. But I think at some point I could see him make, because he would just be like, today's the day it's done. That was the past. And I have a new future. That's important. And I'm going to become this person. And I, and I guess exactly that. It's important for us to identify that.

[00:35:56] So there's my number two question for you guys. It's three things, the belief, identity, or fear. What are you still carrying? And then now we're sliding into number three. What, this is a good one. What truth does God want me to replace it with? This is powerful. You're going to realize a lot of things. So what truth does God want me to replace it with? Of your fear? I mean, I used to have...

[00:36:26] That's just another way of saying, who are you supposed to become? Who, what is your... And we disagree on this a little bit, and we've gone back and forth on this, so I don't want to get into that. But I just believe you're, throughout your life, you're taken on this, where doors are opening for you, so that you can, there's a purpose in that point in your life. You're supposed to be that person for a minute. You know, I started out as a police officer. I was supposed to be that person for a minute. To learn something, to affect somebody's life.

[00:36:54] I don't know what it was, but I was supposed to be that person for a minute. And then that door closed, and another door opened, and I started the company, and I'm supposed to be that person for a minute. And that part of my life, that season ended, and then I became a new person. I'm supposed to be that person. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells?

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[00:38:12] Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. I think for us, I think the disagreement comes with, okay, so maybe your life turned out perfect, but I'm humble enough to say for myself that I did make some, there's always a fork in the road. Yeah, but did it teach you something? I mean... Did you learn something from it? No, that's not... Because I'm going to win this argument. No, but that's not the point.

[00:38:42] Of course you're going to... It is the point. It's exactly the point. God takes you through these valleys to learn. No, it's not always God. I can't agree with you there, and I will draw the line in the sand. This is why I didn't want to get into it because we're going to just... Just let me speak for one minute. Go ahead. I just want to prove my point. So say if I were, because I had the choice, right? After all the tragedy that's happened in my life, I had many choices.

[00:39:08] And sometimes I made the wrong choice, and I'm going to say it now. I'm going to be the first one to be humble enough to say I did veer off a few times. But thank God for the way that I was brought up being a believer that maybe I fell off the tracks for a minute. I could have gone the right way and had a perfect life like you. You're saying you made all the perfect and everything was a lesson. But for me, I did veer off, but I came back.

[00:39:38] But I could have also made... There was a decision where someone offered, and I know there's little ones listening things to me in my life, that I could have gone into the... What's it called? Rather than becoming a victor, I don't even know, a victim. I could have gone into the victim. I could have become an addict. I could have gone that way. And I would say this, no, God didn't have that planned for me.

[00:40:06] The enemy tried to pull me that way. And the enemy did pull me in different directions. But because my mom, every single day, and I do believe this 100%, so pray over your children, my mom would always be praying over me every day. She would call me every day. She would say that she's praying over me. And even when I fell off a few times and just made some wrong decisions, and I'm not saying

[00:40:35] like crazy, crazy wrong decisions, but some things were not... If, as I said, if knowing what I know today, there's a lot of decisions I wouldn't have done. There's a lot of people I wouldn't have went into my life. I probably wouldn't have gone the Hollywood route. I probably wouldn't have wanted to be an actress. I mean, now there's different kinds of films. But I was just trapped in this typecast.

[00:41:04] But now there's great... There's Angel Studios and all that. But I remember in my soul feeling, this isn't where I'm supposed to be. And I knew it. I mean, you must have had moments like that. Or maybe you didn't because you're saying no. No, I'm saying I didn't choose to give into that. I could have. But there's listeners... I was in the worst part of my life at some points, you know, in there. I could have given into that.

[00:41:30] I could have fallen apart and crumbled and went sideways and went into a life of crime because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do. But I chose not to do that. But even though we didn't go down, down, I feel like we did take... I can tell you when I watch some stuff or I hear some stories, I'm like, that wasn't that... Like, thank God you dodged a bullet. Well, no, I definitely took sidesteps. People come into your life. Relationships.

[00:41:58] I don't think that God planned that for you. Thank goodness. No, I had to find my way out of those places. I don't think God planned those decisions of relationships for me either. And I don't feel like God... I don't think that God planned... I'm telling you, if my mom and dad stayed together, my brother wouldn't have taken that job that killed him. I'm going to tell you that crystal clear. I feel it in my gut.

[00:42:27] I feel it in my heart. I don't claim to have... That was not God's plan. To know or understand God's plan. That was the enemy's plan. But out of tragedy, good comes. Because I'm going to tell you something crazy. Daniel just did his speech last week and he kicked butt. He hasn't met my brother. He prays for him every night. He feels like he knows him.

[00:42:53] And the craziest thing, he's meeting so many men... That's his middle name. ...that are like my brother. And he calls them all uncle. And he's like... We were having a conversation. And this little boy, even at five, he says, I know that uncle's up in heaven. I feel him watching over me. And I feel him cheering for me and encouraging me.

[00:43:21] And I feel him bringing in all these uncles into my life. And I just started crying because out of... I know a lot of us are going through things. We're going through loss, not being able to have children, losing our parents, losing... There's a lot of hard things that we are going through and the audience is going through. I don't feel like that's God's plan.

[00:43:48] But even though tragic and hard things happen, there may have been a lot of women coming forward about... And men too, about childhood things that are... And I don't want to say it, but they've gone through things. I don't think that's God's plan. But don't fall into the victim because you're going to have the exact roadmap, the exact survival guide for other people.

[00:44:17] You can help to get out of those things that you overcame. And I just feel like... That's true. Yeah, I mean... This whole thing, the grief... Yeah, I don't think anybody should go through that. I don't think that's God's plan necessarily. I don't know. I don't know. But we met that... What about that lady we met on the bus when we were... The shuttle coming back from the event? And she was a perfect example. Oh, her life was so hard. She said that she's going to affect millions of people with God's word. Yes.

[00:44:47] And she went through all of that stuff, unthinkable things that you could go through as a child. This is what I'm talking about. And she writes a book. And then now they're... Ooh, shoot. I got a little hit of emotion there. Of course. This is what I'm talking about. She becomes a part of this bigger story where one of the speakers on stage is speaking about her story. Yeah. And how he was able to give her book to this person who was going through something. It saved his life.

[00:45:17] He literally saved his life. And I mean, that's why I feel like there's so many intersections in life. And I don't claim to know exactly what's going on. But I do know that she was meant to write that book. Yes. And if you let yourself fall into who you're meant to be rather than holding on to the past where she could have held on to the past and be that person, you know, trapped where the enemy wanted her to be. Oh, yeah.

[00:45:47] She could have thrown her hands up and become a victim. She said that. But she saw this speaker. She said that. I could have become a victim. She saw this speaker. He encouraged her to write this book. This book, I can't remember what it was called, but something about Jesus saving your life. He had a conversation with someone that was thinking about not saving his life. We got little ones listening. And he said, do you believe?

[00:46:12] And then he gave him this book and he just burst out into tears because it saved his life because he was going to go in the opposite direction. So I'm telling you, fall into who you're meant to be because it can actually save a life. And you're going to have the blueprint. You're going to be unshakable. This is what I talk about all the time because I didn't understand why I went through the things that I went through.

[00:46:41] And it's because I have a community that has gone through these types of things and I can relate and I can help them out of the mud, out of the quicksand, out of the water. I have the bucket. I was in the fire. I didn't have anyone bring me one bucket, but God was my bucket. So now I'm bringing buckets of water for all you people and you're going to be unshakable too. I love that. Let's go through the...

[00:47:12] It's one more time. Just go through the questions. Let's leave them with that. Okay. And just leave them with the three questions. Okay. Number one... Because they may not be able to do it right this second. So let's just leave it with them so they make sure they have those three questions in one place and that they can take those with them and maybe do it later. Okay. So just a recap. It's the legacy shift challenge that I have for you guys or that we have for you guys. Number one, who am I no longer called to be?

[00:47:37] Number two, what belief, identity, or fear am I still carrying? Let it go. And what... Number three, what truth does God want me to replace it with? Now, when you're done, burn it. Release it. Declare over your life that version of me no longer leads. I am being made new and this is my legacy season.

[00:48:06] Declare who your new identity is. Declare that person over your life. And talk to yourself about that. Read on that subject. Talk to yourself about that subject. Talk to your spouse about what's going on. You're not quitting. You're evolving. You're evolving. Letting go isn't failure. It's faith. And you're not losing yourself. You're becoming who you were born to be. You have a purpose. You have a purpose.

[00:48:36] And you're going to change lives. You're going to... You're supposed to make your mark on this world, on this earth. You're supposed to do something for God. And you have that inside of you. And you're supposed to step into those boots. And you've been fighting it. And you need to become that person today. God is going to open doors. Believe this. God is going to open doors. Your old self wouldn't even have the courage to knock on. So look at it in a different life.

[00:49:05] Because you, as a father, as a mother, have something in you that is so much stronger than who you used to be. So don't forget that. This is what legacy looks like. And it's beautiful. Thank you guys for joining us for this episode of the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk podcast. I think this is a super important... What did I say? Super.

[00:49:33] This is a very important subject that we don't talk about. A lot of people don't talk about. But it's important. And it affects all of us. We have different seasons of our life. And we need to become different people. Or we have a new purpose. A purpose which is part of our life that we haven't stepped into yet. You have to become that person. You have it in you. This is the permission slip. Let them go. Thank you guys for joining us. I hope this was a great podcast for you guys. And we will see you guys next week. Yes.

[00:50:03] God bless. And share this with someone that you feel called. That needs to hear this message too. God bless you guys. We love you. See you next week. Thank you so much guys for listening to this episode of the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk podcast. We really hope you got something from this episode today. And we really hope that you tune in next week. We know you're going to love the episode next week.

[00:50:32] And don't forget to step into your legacy. Always leave the old stuff behind. And step into the things that God has planned for you. It's going to be so much better. God bless. We love you. Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk podcast. We hope you enjoyed this show.

[00:51:00] And we hope you'll come back next week because we're going to have another good one to listen to. Thank you again. Be sure to subscribe. And we'll see you next week. Bye.