We Built the Dream, But Did We Protect Us?

[00:00:00] It looks something like this. The house is finally quiet. The children are asleep. Big check off the list because that was a hard one. But they're asleep now. So now what do you have? You've got two laptops that are open on the kitchen table. The work begins. One of you is answering emails. The other is looking at tomorrow's schedule. There's so much to do.

[00:00:28] There's a meeting in the morning. Early in the morning you guys have that meeting and one of you realize the payment that still has not arrived. There's a decision that has to be made that you've been trying to make for three days, four days, a week, whatever, whatever, however it's been taken. It's been taken forever to make this big decision that you guys have to make together. And somewhere between talking about the children,

[00:00:58] talking about the business, the calendar, and the problem that happened earlier, one of you looks across the table and realizes something. You can't remember the last time that you sat there. Without discussing something that really, really needs to be done.

[00:01:24] You guys are so good at this. You know how to divide the weight. You can finish each other's thoughts in a meeting. You notice the details that your partner misses.

[00:01:43] You notice right away when one of you feels overwhelmed. Usually when you see that, you step in. You've built something extraordinary together. But tonight you realize how the business is doing.

[00:02:03] And neither of you is completely sure how the person sitting across from you is doing. And it's not the business partner. It's not the business partner. Not the co-parent. Not the person responsible for the things that you have to get done tomorrow.

[00:02:30] It's your husband. It's your wife. It's the person that you once stayed up talking late to. You remember, you think back and you remember those nights that you just spent all night talking, connecting, and getting giddy and butterflies.

[00:02:51] And this is the person you used to dream with and visualize what life would look like before the conversations became a meeting. Every single conversation now, it kind of looks like a meeting. And there's a particular kind of loneliness that can happen inside a marriage when both people are present.

[00:03:21] Both of you are committed. Both people are caring so very much that the relationship starts to become a place where everything is managed now. And very little is felt. And I want to be so clear. It's not because you stopped loving each other. But it's another thing that happened.

[00:03:51] The responsibilities. They became so, so loud. And they became so loud that you guys could no longer hear the quiet parts of the marriage. So, friends, get comfortable. Grab something yummy but healthy that you could snack on if you're a snacker. If this is your time alone, take this time to take it in.

[00:04:21] Get comfortable because we're about to have a great conversation. Let's go. Ooh, that's better, right, babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a $100 million clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:04:51] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together, we started a business. And had babies. Now, we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello, my friend, and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable, the Legacy Conversations bonus series

[00:05:19] brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast, a community of strong families building lives of faith, courage, purpose, and lasting legacy. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. In our last conversation, we talked about what can happen when achievement brings greater money. It brings attention and access and power and temptation.

[00:05:49] And we asked whether success would make us more faithful to the people who carried the earlier years with us, or whether it would make us careless with what God has entrusted to us. But today, we're continuing that larger conversation by looking at another entrepreneurial family reality. Because families, they don't all build in the same way.

[00:06:19] In some homes, one spouse carries more of the, let's call it the public work, while the other protects the family and supports the calling behind the scenes. In others, both husband and wife are, they help to build the business. But only one eventually becomes its recognizable face.

[00:06:46] And, oh, and there's also some families where both the husband and the wife are building publicly. So those are businesses like Poppy, Bloom. There's so many other examples, but they're both leading. They're both creating. They're both making decisions, both raising children, both carrying a vision that rarely seems to turn off.

[00:07:17] Today's conversation is for them, those families. Because there's something very beautiful about building with the person you love. There's also something that requires great care. When husband and wife become business partners, they're both parents, leaders, problem solvers, and public figures all at once.

[00:07:43] The marriage can begin to carry so many functions that the relationship itself becomes difficult to find. It can be. And I don't want to say that love disappeared. I would have to say it could get overwhelmed by responsibility crowding it. And that's something we need to be careful for. We need to guard our marriages.

[00:08:15] There's something deeply meaningful about building with your spouse. Those of you that are doing it, you understand how special it is. They were your partner. They were there when the idea was still small enough to fit inside a conversation in the car. They remember when there was no team, no audience,

[00:08:43] and there wasn't any proof that any of it would even work. They saw the disappointment after an opportunity fell through. They were there with you holding your hand. Embracing each other sometimes. Or, gosh, just trying to steady yourselves. It's a hard moment.

[00:09:09] They saw how long you sat quietly after the launch didn't go the way that you had hoped. That's not in all cases, but many times there's the learning moments. I don't want to say failures. We don't say failures here. That's a beautiful moment to learn. And they were there when the first meaningful yes finally arrived.

[00:09:36] Maybe you looked at each other and said, can you believe this is happening? Because no one else could fully understand what that moment meant. But they did. They remember what it cost to reach it. There's something so powerful about being able to look across the room and know what your spouse is thinking. It's like, hey, that's my superpower.

[00:10:07] I know exactly what they're thinking. I know exactly what they want to say. One of you sees the possibility, and the other sees the detail that could bring it to life. One of you knows when it's time to move. You're the one that takes that move like in chess. And the other knows when the family needs you to slow down. You have that intuition.

[00:10:35] And in a healthy marriage, those roles, they're not permanent. There will always be seasons when one person has more strength. There will be seasons when that same person needs to be carried. There's that beautiful vision, that beautiful accomplishment,

[00:11:04] the beautiful, I want to see, just picture it, that beautiful vision of building together. And you don't have to be strong in the same place at the same time. But somewhere along the way, the very thing that brought you closer

[00:11:29] can quietly begin taking over every place where closeness used to live. Maybe you've experienced this. You finally get a night away from the children. Let's say it's this. You sit down at a beautiful restaurant. You haven't been out in years. You take a little getaway, and for the first few minutes,

[00:11:58] you talk about how good it feels to be alone together. And then one of you says, while we have a minute, what do you think we should do about that thing? And suddenly date night becomes a strategy meeting. And you didn't intend for it to go that way.

[00:12:28] There simply has not been another uninterrupted moment. So you start to discuss, say you start to discuss the schedule, or the upcoming launch, or the person who needs an answer. You've got to write an email.

[00:12:56] You start discussing the strategy, the decision that you've both been avoiding. You leave the restaurant, having accomplished a great deal, but not necessarily feeling any closer. Or perhaps you take a drive together for a few seconds. The car is quiet.

[00:13:24] Then someone remembers an invoice, or perhaps it's a deadline, a message that still needs a response. Before you know it, the entire drive has become a planning session. You may even call that quality time because you were together. You were together. But being beside someone, being beside your spouse,

[00:13:53] your husband or your wife, it's not always the same as being with them. Being beside them is not the same as being with them. You build as a couple. And when you do that, work can enter every space. It's kind of like it just sneaks in

[00:14:23] without asking for permission. It enters the kitchen. It enters the bedroom. It enters the family vacation. Right? The five quiet minutes after the children fall asleep. And it follows you into places that were once where you recovered from the world. And because work matters so much to you both,

[00:14:52] you're building something great together, right? You're supporting your family. You're doing great things in the world. You're moving on. You're calling. It doesn't always feel like an intrusion. And sometimes it masks itself like a connection. It feels like connection. You're talking all day. You're sending messages and solving problems together. That's accomplishment.

[00:15:21] But that coordination and connection, it's not the same thing. Because coordination says the meeting moved to 3, 3 p.m. Pacific time. And connection, connection, connection says you seem discouraged after that call. I saw you.

[00:15:51] You seem discouraged. Are you okay? And then again, coordination, it'll say something like, I'll take the children for a while while you work on this new business plan or while you write that email. And then connection says, I know how much this season has been asking of you. And then you go from there,

[00:16:21] that connection. You have the conversation. Another thing that coordination can look like, well, it keeps functioning. It keeps going. It keeps life functioning. It keeps life functioning. That's what I'm trying to say. And the connection, it allows people inside that life

[00:16:49] to feel known. And it's possible to become so good at coordinating life together that you stop noticing how long it has been since you, since you connected inside of it. I know some couples say, I feel so lonely. Like just one of the spouses.

[00:17:18] And usually it's the wife. Okay, let's be honest. She'll say, I feel so lonely. I feel so alone. And her spouse will say, what do you mean? I'm here all day. She says, I know you're here, but you're on phone calls all day. You're in the emails. You're doing the research. You're doing the things. But we haven't had a conversation.

[00:17:49] A conversation about us. You see the difference? So yes, he's there all day. And he's frustrated because yes, he's there all day. But there was no intimate conversation, no connection. And there's another quiet shift that can happen. You begin seeing your spouse

[00:18:18] mostly through the role that they perform. You know exactly who handles the money or who remembers the appointments, who keeps moving the team. If you have one, who keeps moving the team, who notices what the children need, right? While doing the whole juggling, one of you notices what the children need,

[00:18:47] what they have to do. And there's the one who steps in when something goes wrong. Right? And those roles, they're tremendously important. They do. They really matter. But nobody wants to be loved only for how useful they are. I certainly don't. I know you don't.

[00:19:15] The strongest person in the family still needs somewhere that they don't have to be strong. The person who solves every problem, let's say every problem, does not always want to be, they don't always want to be the person that handles another problem. They don't want to be known for just that.

[00:19:46] Sometimes they, she usually, wants to be held. Right? They want someone to look at them and say, you don't have to fix anything right now. I just want to know how you are. Your spouse is, it's, they're not a,

[00:20:16] they're not a department inside the life that you built. They're a person, a human with a heart, a beating heart, with feelings. They still carry feel, fears, fears that, that they may not even know how to totally explain. They're still holding hopes that have, that have changed. Let's be honest. Our hopes and our,

[00:20:46] our visions, they've changed over the years. They're still becoming. And sometimes we assume that because we know someone's habits, habits that we still know their heart. But you and I both know this. Parenthood changes people. Pressure changes people. Grief,

[00:21:15] grief changes people. Success can change people. The person you married is still there. But they're not exactly the same person they were when you first met. They're changing with the seasons. Neither are you. You're not the same person. Marriage asks us

[00:21:44] to remain curious. Keep meeting one another. Stop assuming we already know the answer to, to, to how you, how, to how are you, really? How are you really? How are you really? Stop assuming that you know the answer.

[00:22:16] People change. And, and when one person becomes exhausted, sometimes the other notices and, and steps in. But, but what happens when both people are tired? What happens when both, both of you feel stretched? Both feel responsible.

[00:22:48] Both secret believe that the other may not understand everything that they're carrying. This is where tenderness, that, that tenderness can, it can begin to disappear. And, not, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not the love. Love doesn't disappear. Love is there. But the tenderness,

[00:23:20] because, what tends to happen, is a simple question, sounds like criticism. Right? We hear that. Why are you coming at me? Why are you attacking me? A reminder, a reminder, just a simple reminder, feels like disrespect. A tired face,

[00:23:49] exhausted face. It, it looks like disapproval. It's not, they're exhausted. One person says, do you remember to send that? What? And then, what does the other person hear? They hear something like, you never do enough. Or one person says, I, I need, I need help tonight. I'm exhausted.

[00:24:20] And the other hears, everything you already did today, it doesn't count. That's not what was said. Neither person meant what the other heard. But exhaustion has a way of translating ordinary words through, through pain, through accumulated pain. And suddenly,

[00:24:49] two people are actually, who, who are actually on the same team. What happens? They begin speaking like opponents. Sometimes conflict is, it's not, it's not evidence that things are broken, that the marriage is broken.

[00:25:20] Perhaps it's evidence that, that the people inside it have not had enough room to breathe. That doesn't mean, that doesn't mean that hurtful behavior, uh, should be excused. And if you're flipping your lid and you're swearing and, and you're acting all crazy, that's not okay. It's not okay. But,

[00:25:49] when that stuff starts coming in there, it means, it means that we may need to, to look beneath the argument. And if we have good, good sisters and brothers in Christ, they're going to take you to church. They're going to take you and, and pray over your marriage, pray over your spouse.

[00:26:17] They're going to take you and your spouse and they're going to pray with you. Right? Because friends, when you step back, and you think about it, and you think about the things that you're going through, it's, it's not the calendar. It's not the calendar. That's not the problem. It's not the things that you're doing.

[00:26:48] I feel like that, or I know, I know that the message, the deeper message, the deeper message for, for the people going through this, it may look like something, it may look like, it may look like my time matters too. My time matters too. Perhaps the disagreement is,

[00:27:18] it's, it's not, it's not, I mean, we hear so many people talk about the, who handles bedtime. Maybe that's not the argument. Maybe they're trying to say, I'm tired of my, my work always being, my work being the first thing that we sacrifice. The meeting may not be the issue, the real issue.

[00:27:46] Maybe the heart underneath is asking, does my calling, does my calling still have room in this family? There's something totally different, but it's not expressed. So it's not heard. When those deeper truths remain unspoken, the same argument can keep returning in, in different, um,

[00:28:17] in different clothes. Building together will not always look equal. There may be a season when, when one spouse, one spouse may become more visible, right? One person may, may,

[00:28:44] may generate more income for a time. Then, then pregnancy changes the rhythm. Pregnancy changes the rhythm, right? Pregnancy comes up, changes the rhythm. A new baby arrives. So many of us are having babies right now. Or one of the children needs more support. I know what we're seeing a lot too is people are becoming ill.

[00:29:15] Families are walking through grief. Their parents, parents are passing. Life does not just, it doesn't divide itself evenly simply because two people love each other equally. Right? Sometimes one person's going through more than the other. That's, that's the way it is. That's, that's what's happening.

[00:29:45] Sometimes love, it could sound like, this is your season. And, I'm going to help you carry it. And that can be, that can be a beautiful act of partnership. Not always, but, but this, this could be your season where one of you, one of you is helping to carry things. Well, well, it's the other partner season. I know a lot of, a lot of women, right?

[00:30:15] They're carrying everything at home while the children are young. And sometimes, um, our gentlemen are stepping out more or vice versa, vice versa. But temporary sacrifice can quietly become permanent expectation when nobody stops to revisit them. One spouse, as I said, may step back for just six months, then look up and realize three years later have passed. Hey,

[00:30:45] where's my place? One parent takes over because the business is, is in a state of an emergency, but somehow the emergency becomes the family's permanent structure. One person's opportunity, it, opportunity, it, it keeps, it keeps receiving protection. And,

[00:31:14] many times while the other person's calling remains postponed. And, both people don't, sometimes, and this isn't, this isn't in all relationships, but sometimes, not all, not both of the, the journeys are the same in every season. But both

[00:31:42] partners need to know that they still matter. The person who, who stepped back for those six months need to know that, or longer, that the family remembers what they laid down. Their ideas still deserve curiosity. Their gifts still belong in the family's future.

[00:32:11] their God-given calling should not quietly disappear simply because it's not the current priority. In those six months, you still need the check-in. And then sometimes love says, now this is your season. And sometimes love needs to, to turn around and say, listen, you've carried mine for a long time, for six months, six,

[00:32:42] three years, or whatever it may be. Now it's time to make room for yours, your God-given calling. That's if you guys are taking turns. I know we've kind of gone back to that taking turn thing where it's not, it's not building together, but sometimes that building together process, sometimes, sometimes one lags a little behind while the other carries for a moment. But, but remember,

[00:33:14] and friends, sacrifice carries dignity when it's, when it's, when it's seen, when it's honored. It's a hard, it's sacrifice, but it becomes painful when it's just expected or unacknowledged and definite. There's another, another pressure that we're going back to a different pressure that,

[00:33:43] that public couples carry. And people may admire your marriage and they see the photographs, the interviews, the moments of both of you on stage. They tell you how inspiring it is to watch the two of you build together. That could be so beautiful, so powerful, so inspiring. But, it can, it can also make,

[00:34:12] it can also make honesty feel somewhat dangerous because once your marriage becomes part of what, what people admire, you may feel pressure to protect the image of it. You may know how to speak beautifully about your marriage in, in public, how perfect it is and, and wonderful and how strong,

[00:34:42] but, and there's, there's a few people that have, have expressed this that the last six months or, or maybe, uh, I know, I know one couple that, that we're close with, they kind of just came out and said, you know, we were, we were struggling. Six months ago, we were struggling. We were struggling to speak gently to one another at home. My husband was snapping, things were happening,

[00:35:11] and, and, I just want to say that that doesn't, it doesn't automatically mean you're a hypocrite. It doesn't, it doesn't mean that. It means you're human. No marriage becomes immune to, to pain because other people admire your marriage. No, no couple becomes, becomes too successful to need help. Nobody needs,

[00:35:41] no, nobody becomes too successful to need help. The image of the marriage should never become more important than the health of the marriage. You don't, you, it doesn't, you don't need to protect your, your witnesses, right? Your witness, like the audience by,

[00:36:10] by pretending the way that you can protect it is by remaining humble enough to tell the truth. We've been having a hard season. I think people respect that more than, than saying everything's perfect. We're so perfect. We're so perfect. We, we would never do that. that, that, that never

[00:36:40] happens to us. People can lean into you. People can trust you more and seek wise help. Seek people. I've talked about this. We've talked about this. My, the commute, not my community. The community talks about this. Surround yourself with strong brothers and sisters in Christ that can pray over your marriage, that you can call and say,

[00:37:09] I'm so mad at my spouse. And you say, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Not like the person that says, oh, I can't believe that's happening again. Are you kidding me? Seriously? Know who to seek wise help from. The people that love both of you,

[00:37:39] that speak beautifully behind each other's backs. Hey, buddy, remember why you fell in love with her. Darling, I call my friends darling, sweetheart. Remember why you fell in love with him. Do you remember the vision? Tonight, tonight, get down on your knees with your spouse.

[00:38:09] Pray with him. I'd like to take a moment right now to pray over you and your husband. to pray over your children, to pray over your marriage. I'm not going to lie. I just had a moment like that. You know what my friends did? They wanted to take me to church. They prayed with me. They didn't say, let's go out,

[00:38:38] turn off your location, tell him where you are, just leave, screw him. What a jerk. I can't believe he's doing this. Whatever it is, whatever, however people, I mean, I don't know. I don't have friends that do that because they know, they know, they respect my marriage.

[00:39:08] You know what they say? My heart breaks for you too. My heart breaks for you too. I hate that you guys are going through this. And it's not a big thing, but that's how they speak. My heart breaks for you guys. Let me pray over you guys. That's how they speak. I'm grateful for people like that.

[00:39:37] To care more about us becoming healthy than turning us against each other. It's not about appearing perfect. It's about doing the work together. It's by surrounding ourselves with sisters and brothers in Christ that will help us honor our holy covenant, that will help get us through the doors to

[00:40:07] heaven, help us realize what truly matters. The most important thing, our holy covenant. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup, but in your cells? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Shilajit by Symbiotica. And here's what can happen. No crash, no jitters, just clean,

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[00:41:06] your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Shilajit is next level wellness, and honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Shilajit today. Jesus says, therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.

[00:41:36] We often think of separation as something big that happens, something dramatic, like that big thing. Another person entering the marriage, someone packing a suitcase, someone finally physically leaving, but distance can

[00:42:06] become, it can begin much earlier. Pressure can separate. Pride can separate. Resentment that is never spoken about and communicated well can separate. Even good work can occupy so much emotional space that husband and wife slowly stop reaching one another. The work

[00:42:36] that you're doing may be meaningful. The impact of that, it's real. It's a real thing. You're changing the world together. The calling may have been placed on your heart by God, by God himself. But no calling from God requires us to become careless with the covenant God also gave us,

[00:43:06] blessed us with. Your marriage is not an inconvenience standing between you and your God-given purpose, your God-given destiny. It's a part of the stewardship. The goal is not simply to remain married while building, like here, just be married and build. The goal is to remain known

[00:43:36] to each other, to remain tender, tender, to remain tender, to remain able to turn toward one another when life becomes heavy. And may God surround you with people that help you. That's what this community is for. Children growing up

[00:44:06] inside entrepreneurial family can witness extraordinary things. right? They can. I grew up witnessing extraordinary things. It was a blessing to be included in everything, in the meetings, in the building, in the infant stages of the business, in the business when it was doing well, the celebrations. They can watch, they can watch, our

[00:44:36] children can watch an idea that was once scribbled on a piece of paper or a napkin begin to become or become, tripping over my words, I'm excited, can become something real. They can learn courage by watching us as parents take a risk. They can see perseverance

[00:45:05] when something fails. mom and dad, they keep going. This thing didn't work up, but they keep going. They can learn that work, that work carries purpose and that faith, the faith that the prayers, it becomes action. Children see more than the

[00:45:35] success. They notice everything. First of all, they notice everything. They notice when the phone remains on the table. They notice those things too. They notice when family memory, every family memory, you hear about some kids talk about this, every family memory is content. We

[00:46:05] had nothing for ourselves that's us, that's just us. They notice when mom and dad start speaking only about the problems, only about the business problems, it starts to become problem after problem. them. And they can feel whether success is bringing more joy into the home. It's bringing more joy or pressure.

[00:46:39] Our children are not simply learning just how to build. they're learning what building does to a marriage. They're watching what happens when one parent becomes prideful or craving attention from the world that goes out. I can't be here. I gotta go. I gotta go.

[00:47:08] I gotta go. They're watching whether two leaders know how to disagree without being enemies. They're watching who helps support the marriage, who prays over the marriage, who separates the marriage. They see that. They hear that. They're learning whether people love, they're

[00:47:40] seeing whether people, whether two people can apologize. They can repair, that stay in the boat together, that don't get out of the car. We talk about that all the time. That example that Tony Robbins said, they stay in the car together. They don't get out and leave the other one on the freeway. They get smashed up.

[00:48:09] They stay together. Children are watching. Do we find our way back to each other? Who encourages that? Who are the people that encourage separation? Who are the people that encourage strength in our marriage? the greatest lesson our children receive from a family business? It's not just how to become successful.

[00:48:42] It's learning how to love someone while carrying something difficult together. That's the biggest lesson. And every public couple, couple, I think that this is very important. Every public couple, because not all of you are public. As I said,

[00:49:11] one is behind the scenes. One goes to work, one stays home. But today we're talking about the public couple. Every public couple, they really need to have, they need a private marriage. And that's when, let me explain this, it's a place where the audience doesn't enter.

[00:49:42] They need a conversation that doesn't become content. Because it's huge right now. Share everything that you guys are building. Share everything. We hear some families talking about this, so I wanted to bring it up, where they're sharing everything. Behind the scenes, they're doing the behind the scenes, and that's very valuable. But then they find themselves sharing absolutely everything where they're not keeping anything to themselves,

[00:50:12] keeping the special moments. So not every conversation needs to become content. We need to remember that not every memory doesn't need to be posted. There's jokes that still belong only to the two of you. where you need to have meals where business is not involved because you're building together and you

[00:50:41] have these discussions all day long. But just remember we need to have some meals where it's just connection. We're not talking about the business right now. We need to have days where nobody is producing anything. Not everything beautiful needs to become useful like content. It doesn't need to

[00:51:13] remain sacred precisely because because well because it's ours. Because it's something that happened between us and we want it to remain sacred. This is our thing. Those things don't need to grow the platform. Those things don't need to increase the revenue. It doesn't need to serve the audience.

[00:51:43] Those are all very important but there's some things when you're building together that need to protect those things. You need to protect the two people carrying all of it. The private marriage is where you remember we existed before the company needed

[00:52:13] us. We loved one another before the audience knew us. There was a language that you had before the brand had one. Remember what was the love language? What was the language you spoke? Don't get lost in the brand language. Brand language is very important but don't get lost in it. And underneath

[00:52:42] every role that we're performing to build the business we need to remember that we're just well not just we're husband and wife. We're husband and wife. And perhaps you're listening and you're thinking this sounds

[00:53:12] like us. This example this episode this is us. Hey we're not broken. We're not we're not we're not planning to leave. We love each other but somewhere inside everything that we're that we're carrying we've been difficult to find. My friend you're

[00:53:42] finding your way back does not always require some elaborate escape or an elaborate retreat or something crazy that you have to commit to sometimes it begins with the little things like closing the laptop while there's still work unfinished. I know that's hard because the task needs to be finished needs to be done

[00:54:11] but take that moment and just shut it. What's more important? The holy covenant take a drive without without turning it into a meeting. Sit together for 10 minutes after the children are asleep. Start with 10 minutes. If you're in the infant stages of business I know that's hard. I know that's probably really hard for you. But take 10 minutes just start with 10

[00:54:40] minutes. You don't even need to say anything. Reach for her. Reach for her before reaching for the phone. Sometimes it begins with an honest sentence. I know we've talked all day but I miss you. Or maybe it sounds like I don't need you to fix

[00:55:10] this. I just want to tell you how I've been feeling. And those words may sound strange when you're constantly together but just because you've got closeness or proximity together all day that doesn't guarantee closeness. Sometimes the person that is

[00:55:40] sitting beside us is the person I know I can't believe I'm going to the person we have had the least time to truly see. Right? It doesn't make sense until it makes sense because that person's been they're in the house with us. You're together all day long every

[00:56:10] day building doing things but have we been truly seeing each other? The return begins when one person becomes brave enough just to step outside of the roles. Not the CEO. Don't be the CEO. Don't be the parent. Don't be

[00:56:40] the person with the answer. Just be the husband. Be the wife. One human heart saying to another, I'm still here. I choose you. And I want us to find us again. I

[00:57:10] want to find us again. Building together, it could become one of the greatest strengths in marriage. It's the best thing. It's the best experience. It can be. You can discover what the two of you are capable of carrying. You can witness another's courage. You can create something meaningful

[00:57:39] for your children and generations who come after you. But the business cannot become the only thing you're holding together. One day the launch it's going to have intense building and that's not going to last

[00:58:09] forever. And hopefully you're building something that can run on its own. And when the noise becomes quiet guess what there should be? There should still now the

[00:58:39] lesson is not to stop building the lesson is to protect the relationship that makes together the marriage the holy covenant meaningful. Now let's take a moment to grab your journals and something to write with. Let's take these questions somewhere quiet.

[00:59:09] Put your little one beside you. Hold your little one right with one hand or perhaps this is something you can do with your spouse. Ask yourself these questions. Have we become better at coordinating our life than connecting inside of it? Are we better at coordinating our I

[00:59:39] can't I can't back. Are we better at coordinating our hold on give me a moment? Are we better at coordinating our life than connecting inside it? Have we been talking all day but stopped sharing what is happening inside our hearts? Oof.

[01:00:11] Right? We're talking all day long. What needs to be done? What needs to be paid? all the things, the marketing strategy? But did we stop sharing what is happening inside of our hearts? Have we stopped communicating that? Does each of us feel that our calling still has room inside this

[01:00:41] family? Have temporary sacrifices quietly become permanent expectations? Remember we talked about this earlier that six months is expected to last forever now? That's not in every relationship but some of the relationships in the community are experiencing this very question and it needs to be answered. Is there

[01:01:11] still a part of our marriage that belongs to only us? And maybe it's asking ourselves what small change doesn't have to be humongous but what small change can help us feel like husband and wife again?

[01:01:40] Not only parents or not only business partners what can help us feel like husband and wife again? Is it that 10 minutes? Again say you're in the infant stages of building is it just 10 minutes after the children have gone to sleep? Is it 10 minutes before everyone wakes up? What does it look like? So take a moment I want to come together in

[01:02:10] prayer I think this community's favorite time is coming together in prayer when two or more come together that's when the beautiful things happen so let's come together in prayer heavenly father thank you for the gift of marriage thank you for the dreams and callings you allow husband and wives to carry together thank you for every idea

[01:02:40] such a blessing every opportunity and every season in which you have given us the courage to build teach us to carry it wisely protect us from becoming so effective at managing our lives that we stop truly seeing one another help us remember the person beneath every role the husband beneath the leadership the wife

[01:03:09] beneath the responsibility the human heart beneath the strength Lord when we're both tired give us tenderness when pressure rises give us patience when resentment begins quietly growing give us the courage to speak honestly and lovingly help us to honor the sacrifices that have been made

[01:03:39] inside our family help us make room for both callings callings together

[01:04:16] love love teach us to apologize without defending without walking out to listen without preparing our response to reach toward one another before distance begins feeling normal may our dream never become larger than the covenant may our work strengthen our family

[01:04:45] and may everything we build together draw us closer to you and closer to one another in Jesus name amen I know that that was a long one but I know that there's a lot of couples that are building that are kind of struggling together that's the whole mission here is building together but there's couples struggling in every different example

[01:05:15] of how you're building there's the couples that the wife is struggling at home by herself keeping everything together while he's out doing the five building doing the thing not just because you're building together I don't want to I don't ever want anyone to think that it's perfect nothing's perfect life is never perfect obstacles are gonna come up challenges are gonna come up

[01:05:45] and that's what God blessed us with a holy covenant I heard someone talking about it the other day it's not perfect it's not to make choose a specific someone for you because there's a lesson to be learned my girlfriend was talking about this today or not today but this weekend she said look marriage doesn't always look easy I know this but

[01:06:15] sometimes I need someone to remind me marriage doesn't always look easy what the pain that's where the purpose is that's where the lesson is and when you get across that then you have another blueprint another map another example for someone else it's not an opportunity to say oh brother not again right oh

[01:06:44] he's such a a ding dong or she's such a are you kidding me oh brother here she goes again I can't believe it no it's the opportunity to take the lesson that God poured into your marriage and figure it out and work together so that when you get to heaven you can say thank you for that lesson

[01:07:15] it wasn't easy it was tough it was tough but thank you and guess what we did with it we helped other couples we helped other couples that were building whatever it is whatever it is whatever it is for your family every lesson every pain point will look different but but you're going to be able to take those

[01:07:44] buckets into the burning building and help others out that's beautiful my friend there's something extraordinary about about looking beside you and realizing that the person you love is also the person carrying the dream with you they understand the risk the pressure the private cost they saw the vision before anyone

[01:08:14] applauded it they have witnessed it all at its most beautiful and at its most exhausting honor that my baby just peeked in my baby peeked in so friends honor that don't don't

[01:08:44] don't let shared work become the only place that you meet the company needs your ideas the audience the audience needs your voice the children they need your leadership but your spouse your spouse needs the part of you that is not performing a role the part that listens that laughs that notices

[01:09:13] when he reaches for you when he prays over you the part that can be present without needing to solve anything there's always going to be another email I promise there's always going to be opportunities another problem that feels urgent but there are moments in marriage that don't need

[01:09:44] to announce their importance while they're happening a look across the table that's what we need a hand held in the car a late night conversation without agenda how are we going to pay these bills what are we going to do just a late night conversation some of you forgot who

[01:10:13] some of you forgot who each other some of you forgot let's just put it that way get to know that person across from you children need to watch watch a mom and dad laugh again if you're not those moments those tiny moments those special moments those may not be what build the

[01:10:43] story but those are the moments of true success they're a part of the life that you're actually building protect them because you didn't only choose one another as business partners you chose one covenant

[01:11:13] you guys are one flesh inseparable you can build the dream together you can share the pressure you can share the stage speak on it together while slowly losing sight of the two people beneath it all friends build the company carry the calling don't you dare stop

[01:11:43] lead together but keep finding your way back to husband and wife because the greatest thing you build together it should never cost you the us that built it friends if this conversation reminded you of of someone that's building right now or a couple that's building maybe you guys aren't building together

[01:12:13] that maybe there's a couple you know that is building together or that wants to share together or sorry that wants to that wants to share this life of building together share this podcast with them share this episode with them and and you guys that are building perhaps tonight close the laptops a little earlier have a conversation that's that's not about that's not about business

[01:12:43] and if becoming unshakable has become a part of your week follow the show so you don't miss an episode leave us a five star rating and a kind review tag me on Instagram tag the tag the show on Instagram the links are down at the bottom I would love to talk to you I love meeting you guys I love hearing about what you guys are building what your spouse is building let me know how he can help how he could pray over you and

[01:13:13] if you have children in your life come listen as a family to Destiny and Daniel on the entrepreneur kids legacy show screen free learning created to plant seeds of faith and courage and character leadership entrepreneurship and purpose right into the next generation of courageous young leaders and also also

[01:13:42] look in the link below because the little ones are they came up with this great idea and they are launching an app and you want to sign up for it so that when it launches you can be a part of this incredible community it's got oh my gosh it's so it's such a good place it is such a good place there's so much stuff

[01:14:12] out there and I'm telling you it's hard to protect our kids it's great to have a screen free podcast it's great to have an hour of this when it comes out or a half an hour of the kids podcast or listening to that is safe that nobody's gonna come and message your children it's not a game where who knows who they're playing with this is an app

[01:14:41] that they can listen to faith filled music inspirational music they can listen to the show on there too they can listen to the podcast they can listen to books they can listen to courses they can exercise on there what else is there's so much stuff guys it is so exciting with the idea it's created by children for children it's something that moms need we need this

[01:15:10] we need this sometimes I know I had this great app it was a sign language app but that's really all that there was out there there was a few shows right that they were kind of I want to say like high energy and then there was another little kid that he liked to

[01:15:43] toys toys and video games and it just became about you should buy this you should buy this well there's a safe place and the kids came up with this so you're going to want to sign up it's it's a really it's it's I I want to tell you more but I don't want to let the cat out of the bag but just sign up for it this is a place that your children are going to plant more seeds of greatness and if you want to help support the show you can

[01:16:13] leave them a gift at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids you can leave them a gift you can you can help support coffee hey yes you could buy a mom that that is just following the god given destiny that is this is my calling

[01:16:43] right now right and I feel like when you have a calling yes you can buy me a coffee I appreciate it and I love that you create more great content I'm grateful yes buy me a coffee I appreciate it leave me a message and anyway so it is so great to connect with you

[01:17:12] and also I want to add this I really want to add this may God bless what you are building together and and protect protect the love beneath it may you remain more than just partners and responsibilities may you remain friends husband and wife two people who

[01:17:41] still know how to turn toward one another when the may pressure never ease or get rid of that tenderness and I hope that both of your gifts have room to grow and I really wish for your children to see a marriage

[01:18:11] that's honest and humble and willing to repair may your home remain maybe the most sacred place for you guys and may your covenant remain stronger than the business than the thing that you're building but then the company may every success God places into your hands bring great peace deep

[01:18:40] gratitude and more love into the life you share God bless you glory to God always we love you so much keep building strong families strong futures and an unshakable legacy this is becoming unshakable with your friend it'll be cool I can't wait to see you soon thank you beautiful friends for listening to this important

[01:19:10] message from mama care about oh and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast it's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark listen together as a family it's God I know I

[01:19:33] told you yet you're doing a remarkable job and remember you are the hero of your story because every legacy begins with

[01:20:02] a hero and that hero is you this podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only and it is not intended to replace professional advice legal advice diagnosis or treatment the views expressed are based on personal experience and faith based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth always seek the guidance of qualified professionals

[01:20:32] regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health relationships or business or or or or or or or or or or