Finding Your Epic Comeback After Your Dreams Come Crashing Down

[00:00:00] And I tried to fight it for a while. I fought it for, you know, two years like, no, no, I need to be doing this. I need, this is what I'm, this is my calling. That's better, right babe?

[00:00:28] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:00:56] Don't be afraid to change direction. Sometimes the way we think we should go, isn't the way we're meant to go. In every day of day, there is a blessing. Welcome to the Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell. And I'm Ildiko Ferenczi. Ferenczi. I should say, I remember the name now. The, welcome to the Pretty and Punk Business Parent Podcast.

[00:01:27] That's, that's supposed to be our new name. So I'm, so actually, should I say that at the beginning? Do you think? It's okay. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll get into the groove. Yeah. We, we just wanted people to understand that this is really a podcast for entrepreneurs who have kids or thinking about having kids or you're an actually, you don't even have to be an entrepreneur. People understand if you're in a business, you understand how you can be pulled in two different directions. Mm-hmm.

[00:01:54] And, and you obviously care about your family as we care about our family and all these things affect us as much as they affect you. And so if you are listening to this podcast and it's your first time, please subscribe and make sure you're following. And if you like this podcast, please share it with somebody who you think it might help. I wanted to give the stay at home moms credit because I know we have a lot of them that listen

[00:02:18] to us and we talk about business moms, business dads, but they're really running a business. And when a business or when a stay at home mom gets into business, she's dangerous. Yeah. Oh, for sure. I love that they're here listening because they're homeschooling. They're, they got a million things going on in their head. They're overstimulated. They're up in the middle of the night. They're breastfeeding. They're doing this.

[00:02:48] They're doing that. They're doing this. And I just want to give a massive shout out to the stay at home moms, because the fact is that they work harder and now becoming a mom and running the architectural concrete company, I know without a doubt, I work harder now having the babies. Oh yeah. That was easy. I think, I think you could probably ask any guy and not one.

[00:03:18] I mean, I don't know. I mean, other than wanting to be home with your kids, that's if you take that out of the equation. Right. I think if you asked a guy, if he would trade places with his wife, you absolutely not. Absolutely not. I mean, you know, but there's so many different dynamics and I know we're off topic here because we haven't started the top. But there's so many different topics for sure. So yeah, you know, people have different dynamics, but we definitely salute the moms out there

[00:03:43] that are, because I'm sure, and if you're a mom thinking about getting into business, moms are, mompreneurs are taking over the internet. Yeah. All the stories we've been hearing lately about their side hustle. And then they call their husband and they give them the dollar amounts and they're like, wow, we just need to support you. And then they create a business around whatever she's discovered. And we'll talk about that another time. But I just, I really wanted to give a huge shout out to the stay at home moms.

[00:04:13] Shout out to them. Mm hmm. So imagine you are a little kid who decides that they want to be a football player and they create a 20 year plan and dream about that one day they are going to be a professional football player. And they're, everything that they do every day after school, they're working out, they're training, they're throwing the football.

[00:04:41] They are working out with their brother, trying to become the best footballer that they can. And then one day they get drafted to a professional football team. Mm hmm. And it is their dream come true. They are now playing with the people that they once looked up to. And that person is playing football, but then he gets an injury, but then he works through it and then he gets another injury and he works through it.

[00:05:10] Then that one injury comes that he knows deep down in his heart that he is never going to play professional football again. And his life has taken a different direction. Yeah. And then he becomes a great speaker and a great actor. One of the world's greatest speakers. And, and starts changing people's lives in a different way. Than he ever expected. I mean, yes, people looked up to him while he played professional football.

[00:05:39] And yes, maybe that was part of his journey. Mm hmm. His bigger journey. Mm hmm. But his plan wasn't God's plan. Right. God had a different plan for him and took him in a different direction. And now he's affecting people only because maybe he was a football player first that they're willing to listen to him. Right. It gives him that credibility, credibility, the fame. And then now he's speaking to people and changing people's lives. Right.

[00:06:08] That is a good friend of ours who that really happened to. And he had the blueprint while he was just a little boy. And then later that blueprint comes out to be an actual blueprint for you and me and everybody else in the world on how to reach total success. Yes. I think this is not, this has happened to so many people. You know, you think about how you're going down a path.

[00:06:38] You're thinking, this is my life's path. This is what I want to do. This is all I've ever wanted to do. When I heard his story for the first time, I didn't even compare it to myself. And then I realized, hey, I had that. Right. And you had that. Yeah. And everybody has it in some way or another. A lot of people have probably gone through this. Some way or another. I was in high school. I took this law enforcement class.

[00:07:02] And after I took that class, I literally changed everything in my life and said, I'm going to be a police officer. I joined this, this program that the Explorer Scouts that ride along with law enforcement. And for years I became like the, the captain of, I mean, it's not the captain of this Explorer program and, you know, work my way up. And then when I was 19 years old, I put myself through the police academy.

[00:07:31] I used every penny I had to put myself through the police academy so that I could become a police officer. And then I became a police officer. And for the next seven years, I did what I thought I loved. Mm hmm. And there were some moments in there where I was feeling like, you know, maybe like I'm not doing the things that I wanted to do. Like there were, I wanted to help people in a different way. I didn't feel like I was helping people sometimes and different things were creeping into my mind. Like, am I on my right path? Right.

[00:08:00] And then one day I was called into the office over something and I was let go. Mm hmm. I was devastated. I thought that this is what God wanted me to do. Mm hmm. And now this is being ripped out from under me. I thought my life was destroyed. I mean, I literally thought my life was destroyed. Right. I couldn't believe that he had told that to me why I had a gun on my side.

[00:08:29] I am thinking that why is this happening to me? How could I be put into this position? I thought. This is all I ever wanted in life. And now it's being taken away from me. And then a few years later, I started a company, a clothing company with my partner, who was also a police officer. Mm hmm. And ultimately we created something that was beyond anything that I ever could have thought possible.

[00:08:59] Right. I mean, that has to be a plan. Mm hmm. That has to be a plan. Right. And then even, you know, in some ways that thing was changed when it was meant to change. Exactly. I was just going to say, how did it feel when the tragedy happened at Tap Out? Yeah.

[00:09:19] I mean, you know, after we build it and we get and we grow this huge company that becomes worldwide and then my partner gets killed and it takes me in a different direction. And that tragedy, when that tragedy happened, I mean, I've heard this story and I know because we've talked about it, but you in your heart knew that you didn't want to keep doing Tap Out. You didn't want to be there without him. Yeah.

[00:09:48] I mean, we tried to keep moving forward. Right. But you just, there's something, it's your, it's God, I think, I mean, I say it's a spirit speaking to you going there, you have a different life path to go down. And I tried to fight it for a while. I believe that. I fought it for, you know, two years, like, no, no, I need to be doing this. I need, this is what I'm, this is my calling again, you know, like fighting it. Right. This is what I'm supposed to be doing.

[00:10:16] And probably everybody around you wants to have you keep going because they've made that their identity, which is dangerous. You know, friends and people around you, I get it. I totally get it. I mean, I can relate to that story through my modeling and my acting. I really believed that that was something that I would do as a young girl. I started the modeling when my brother was alive.

[00:10:44] He invested in modeling classes for me and they told me how great I was, what a unique look I had. And as I, you know, became, became a woman, I was on magazine covers and just taking an edge on unique poses and fitness and the acting. And I, you know, my acting coaches would be my mom.

[00:11:08] And I think it was interesting when I would bring my mom to the classes, my acting coaches would tell her that I had a talent. And I know if I would have kept at it because there was this one girl, I don't want to put her name on here, but we would be together at every single audition. And she's a huge actress now. But when I would be on set and I would act, I, I was on set with some of the biggest actors in the world.

[00:11:37] Like I would tell Dan and I was like, they're just normal people. It felt really easy for me. But when I would finish a job, there was this empty feeling inside. Although I knew everybody around me thought that that's what I was supposed to do. And even the modeling, it just something happened. When you and I were together, we wanted to obviously create a business together. And we did.

[00:12:04] But I always thought that modeling and acting would be a part of my life. And then something so huge happened. I got sick unexpectedly. How does someone that's on magazine covers get that kind of sick where they tell you, you might not? I don't even, I don't even want to talk about it. I don't want to give those words life. We don't say the word in our house. But how does that even happen?

[00:12:34] And then the perfect abs that everybody went, wow, you have the best abs, the best abs on magazine covers. I get scars all over because I have to have the life-saving surgery or I decided to, I was going to try to heal naturally. But when they told me that the natural process, it takes many months and it may not be successful. But if you go in for surgery right now, I had a baby, a tiny little baby.

[00:13:03] And I felt like, how can you rob this from me? This might be my last. I'd love to have two more babies, by the way. I'll put that out to God in the universe. I'll put that out to God in the universe, but to God. But if that was my last, how could I lose that time with them? Even if I had the staples and the surgery, I just want to be with my babies.

[00:13:28] I don't want to fly away to another country to get this treatment and be away from my babies. So that's why I jumped into the surgery. I mean, don't you think it had something to do with the kids too? I mean, part of that, it was like, I could feel you changing when you had Daniel. I almost feel like where I was when I, after Charles passed away and I was still trying to move forward. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, a hundred percent with the luxury swimwear line.

[00:13:56] I knew that, and that thing was growing big. That thing was growing big. We went to cons. We went to Monaco. We went to the south of France. I wore my bikini and the owner of the hotel, who is a prince from Dubai said, I need this. I need this swimwear line in my boutique. And then we went to the, in Monte Carlo, they wanted the swimwear. I knew it would be successful.

[00:14:24] When I was doing my shoots all over the world, girls were begging me to wear my swimwear on the cover of magazines because it was flattering. I studied the lines on what would make a woman's body look the best. So I, I really felt like that was the thing. And it was so easily blowing up. I had these models with millions of followers wanting to wear my swimwear.

[00:14:53] I didn't even have to pay them. Are you kidding me? So it felt so natural. But then when I had Daniel, I kind of believed that I was going to have a girl at first and that would have made sense. I could have a mini me swimwear line. But when I really thought about it, I didn't want Daniel around all these models that really life came easy.

[00:15:17] They could date a millionaire or a billionaire and it was just so easy for them to live a very special life that wasn't normal. I knew we were like, right when we went to the south of France, like it wasn't a normal life. And I had a discussion with you saying, this isn't what I want for Daniel. I don't want him. I want him traveling the world with us.

[00:15:43] But maybe let's make it about this other business that we came up with, the collectibles business, because he can learn about history and we can sell great pieces and we can go all over the world collecting these collectible documents. So yes, absolutely. Without a question, I knew I wasn't going to do the swimwear line anymore. And I wasn't even sad about it. Like I really invested everything in it. But in my heart, I knew that that wasn't where I was going to go.

[00:16:13] But I truly did feel that I was going to do the acting and the modeling. And something had to, I had to see a red light, a solid red light. And that was the answer. I had to be taken. I could not pick my baby up. I wasn't allowed to hold my baby for six. I think it was, it ended up being nine months for me because this wasn't a simple surgery. Okay. They said I was going to be in there for four to six hours.

[00:16:43] I didn't come out till after eight. And we all know how serious it is for your brain, for your body, for your organs. It's really serious when you run into complications in surgery. But I also knew that God had a purpose for me because when you don't wake up, you know that your purpose is done. But when you wake up, God has a purpose for you. And we were going through all this stuff with a brand new baby that I couldn't even pick up.

[00:17:11] And my toddler, and they're the cutest at that age. I mean, they're still the cutest, but in my head, I felt like I was being robbed. And we were taking still some cute photos. I wanted to do professional photos, but we just, I was going through so much. And Dan was taking the cute photos and we're still posting on Instagram. And everyone's asking us, how are you guys having the perfect life? What is your secret recipe?

[00:17:38] And that's when I looked Dan in the eyes and I said, we have to tell them the truth. We're struggling. And that's how we gave birth to this podcast, which I truly feel right now at this point of our life, we needed something like this. Mm-hmm . And we need, and now we have the light to be able to share other people's stories.

[00:18:04] I want to shine the light on not just those speakers that you already know about, but we have some great people lined up that have come up with these incredible business that you don't know yet. They never would have been able to share their story nor that they want to because they're in this different path.

[00:18:24] So they're not going to be on a podcast, but now we can shine the light on those people that have lost a child or nearly had a divorce or had these really hard tragedies, these dead ends that led to their biggest blessing. Yeah. That's probably the best way to describe it, that it actually led to a blessing, that these things happen in your life sometimes because you're meant to turn the corner.

[00:18:54] You're needed to turn the corner. That's right. And I feel like it's God pushing us in those directions. Oh, it's for sure God. And we find our ultimate purpose or the whole direction of our life. Like I'm still proud to say that I was a police officer at one time. I'm proud to say that we started this clothing company. I'm proud to say that we're doing this podcast.

[00:19:20] I feel like it's different stories and different parts of your life as you go through and you sometimes don't know when you're supposed to change. You don't know when you're supposed to pivot. Right. So you're kind of dealt this situation, something happens. That's right. And then you realize that you need to go a different direction. Right. And sometimes it takes that. Right. It takes that wake up call.

[00:19:45] And sometimes it has to be bad because a lot of entrepreneurs out there will try to force their way through something. Right. You know, if it's not bad enough, they'll be like, oh, this is just another mountain. And God's processing you for your journey. Say if you need to be kind in what your ultimate task he has for you, your ultimate journey, he will give you things along the way. Maybe you didn't plan on being a mother and you became a mother.

[00:20:14] Well, when you become a mother, it teaches you the ultimate kindness and sacrifice and love and whatever that leads you to in your life path here. Maybe it has to do something with the church or in nursing or your own private, what is it called? My mom, she never wanted to go into a home.

[00:20:42] I said, absolutely not. You spend it all and you stay at home. Well, the lady that started that business, right? You have to be very kind, very understanding with elderly. They're like little babies. They get grumpy. They have tantrums. And, you know, it's a very good paying business.

[00:21:08] And with my mom, the special care that she needed, I said, let's do this. And she was all for it. But I'm just saying, this is an example. And it could be your business could go wrong. Life could have prepared you. Your business could go wrong and the bottom falls out, you know, a recession happens or like, you know, all these Amazon sellers that got crushed lately. I mean, you know. But even that, even that, I guess that's what I'm trying to say is that God is preparing you in one way or another.

[00:21:37] How are you supposed to appreciate if you come into money, right? But you had it all your life. Sometimes you have to lose it all to appreciate what he has planned for you. Yeah, that maybe that's a lesson that you're needing to be taught so that you can take that with you and become a different person to do something new in your life, whatever that is, a different direction that you're being taken.

[00:22:07] And share that story. Share that story. Listen to your grandparents. For me, like you and me, I used to get mad at you because you were a little bit wasteful with food. But I would hear my mom's stories about the war and how they didn't have enough food. So I would suggest, hey, why don't we just share a plate? Because it's hard for me to watch people push away the plate. But that's just because I appreciate things in a different way. It's hard for me.

[00:22:36] I get my kids to share meals because I don't want them to waste food because of the hard times my mom told me about when she was a child. So it's just little things and a little bit off topic. But I'm just saying when you have these lessons under your belt, you think and look at things differently.

[00:22:57] I think Steve Harvey said it the best too, is that if he wasn't homeless and hungry in his car, and he always gives thanks to God. Right? Right. But he's such a good example of that, of how you had to lose it all. And then you're on your new path. If something like this has happened to you guys, or you know anyone who this has happened to,

[00:23:24] sometimes maybe they just people need to know that life is taking them in a different direction. As long as you don't quit, you'll never fail. That's right. If you keep moving forward, you'll never fail. Don't feel bad if you have to change directions. Because as long as you're still fighting, you're not a failure. Right.

[00:23:46] Or if the journey is difficult, know that God has something planned for you that only the strong can fill those shoes. I don't know how to put it into words, but if you had a hard journey, you have something very, very special planned for you. But it's not meant for anybody. It's meant for someone that's tough, that's strong. That can handle that. That can handle. He's not going to give you more than you can handle. Exactly.

[00:24:16] Exactly. Well, I thank you guys for listening to this message. If you have anything to add to it, if there's anything that we might have left out and you want to add that to us, leave it in the comments below. And we thank you for listening. If you haven't subscribed to the Pretty and Punk podcast, if you're an entrepreneur who has kids or thinking about having kids, or you're a business person, or anybody who has kids, I'm sure can relate to some of this content. I hope you've subscribed.

[00:24:45] Please like and share this episode. And please leave us comments. We didn't talk about the comments today. Please leave us a comment because we love to share that with our kids. Anyways, thanks for tuning in, guys. And we'll catch you guys on the next one. God bless. Take care. Thank you for listening to the Pretty and Punk podcast. We love you. God bless. Thank you for listening. I hope that made you okay. God bless.