Choose Your Battles Wisely

[00:00:00] We've got a million things running through our head and sometimes we don't communicate properly with our husbands when we're not coming at them, but they can feel that we are coming at them or we're trying to start a fight, but that's not true.

[00:00:14] We out of anyone, because our parents know us the best when we're under their roof, right? That is our God-given blessing and that's what we're supposed to do as parents.

[00:00:27] But once you get married, it's in the Bible. You are now one, one flesh, right? Who knows you better? You know me the best and I know you the best.

[00:00:38] And it's the enemy trying to make you think, dang, she's coming at me. But sometimes we're just not able to communicate properly. I actually care about him.

[00:00:51] I'm the only one that's going to hold him accountable. Or if there's danger, I feel it and I want to talk about this.

[00:01:05] Uh, no.

[00:01:09] Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:01:13] Yeah.

[00:01:15] She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:01:18] He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:01:22] She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:01:25] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:01:29] Together we started a business.

[00:01:30] And had babies.

[00:01:31] Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:01:34] Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:01:39] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:01:43] And everything in between.

[00:01:44] Choose your battles wisely.

[00:01:46] Because if you fight them all, you'll be too tired to fight the ones that really count.

[00:01:53] Don't let something that doesn't matter cause you to lose something that does.

[00:02:01] Welcome to the Pretty and Punk Podcast.

[00:02:03] My name is Dan Caldwell.

[00:02:05] And I'm here with my beautiful wife.

[00:02:07] Ildiko Ferenzi.

[00:02:09] And co-host Ildiko Ferenzi.

[00:02:12] And we got another great podcast for you this week.

[00:02:15] We say it a little bit different.

[00:02:17] So, you say it with the accent.

[00:02:19] I don't have the accent.

[00:02:20] So, I say it like I say it.

[00:02:22] You say it like you say it.

[00:02:23] I say it like I say it.

[00:02:24] Yeah.

[00:02:25] And we have another great podcast for you guys today.

[00:02:28] And we're talking about something that is important again.

[00:02:34] And it's choosing your battles wisely.

[00:02:37] And if there's anything I've learned in marriage, it's choosing my battles wisely.

[00:02:42] But do you?

[00:02:43] Well, I think I do.

[00:02:46] I think I do.

[00:02:47] All the time.

[00:02:50] Believe me, I do.

[00:02:51] There are so many times I want to go to war, but I don't.

[00:02:55] And I think it's a good thing.

[00:02:58] Because, you know, in business, sometimes you have a different threshold for choosing a battle.

[00:03:05] For standing your ground.

[00:03:08] For falling on the sword on a certain subject.

[00:03:12] And in marriage, I just don't think...

[00:03:15] I think you have to evaluate whether it's worth going down that path.

[00:03:23] Because you just don't want to...

[00:03:24] Why are you looking at me like that?

[00:03:26] You're looking at me like...

[00:03:27] I'm going to trip up and say the wrong word.

[00:03:30] Because I'm ready to say before we get into that.

[00:03:32] Before we jump into that.

[00:03:33] Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:03:37] And if you are, and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button, it just takes a second.

[00:03:42] It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there.

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[00:03:53] We also love and appreciate your reviews.

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[00:03:58] If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us.

[00:04:04] We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business.

[00:04:08] And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:04:11] That's worth a shout out.

[00:04:13] Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:04:17] And we just want to put it out there.

[00:04:19] We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible.

[00:04:22] And you are our family.

[00:04:25] And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:04:30] So don't forget, all the links are below in the show notes.

[00:04:36] And thank you again.

[00:04:37] And let's get back to the show.

[00:04:39] I was thinking about this the other night.

[00:04:41] I was laying in bed.

[00:04:43] And I was thinking about a situation that I had with my baby girl.

[00:04:50] And she's really headstrong.

[00:04:53] And I love that about her.

[00:04:55] I know that I'm never really going to have to worry about her because she's really outspoken.

[00:05:00] But sometimes she's so set in her ways.

[00:05:05] And I remember thinking that this can go.

[00:05:10] And it was late at night.

[00:05:12] I was tired.

[00:05:13] I know she was tired.

[00:05:15] And I know that she would have been ready for a fight.

[00:05:19] And I just, I could tell her body's starting to tense up.

[00:05:25] And she just was so set in her ways.

[00:05:29] And all I could think of was, I can go this way or I could try to figure a way to soften her up.

[00:05:38] Because she really is the sweetest, softest, most protective, loving little baby girl that we've, she's so, she's amazing.

[00:05:48] But when she stands her ground, it's, it's.

[00:05:51] It can, it can go.

[00:05:52] And I don't want.

[00:05:52] I worry about us.

[00:05:53] I don't worry about her.

[00:05:54] I worry about us.

[00:05:55] But at the same time, there's that feeling where as a parent, you don't want to let them just win or, but it wasn't such a serious, it wasn't such a serious.

[00:06:08] And I don't even remember what it was about.

[00:06:11] It was, I think she wanted to do something before she had her snack and I wanted her to do it after.

[00:06:18] And it really, it really wasn't worth going into a fight.

[00:06:23] So I just, I held her and I looked her in the face and I softened up and she softened up.

[00:06:33] And I just remember thinking in the back of my mind, choose your battles wisely.

[00:06:38] And I know that we talk about this in marriage or if there's outside influences, but it also really does apply with your children.

[00:06:48] I want to have a good relationship with my children.

[00:06:52] I definitely want them to know that there is not, they're very disciplined.

[00:07:00] Okay.

[00:07:01] Let's just put it at, they really are disciplined.

[00:07:03] So sometimes it's okay to bend and sway so that you don't, I don't, I don't want her to cry.

[00:07:15] I don't want to go to that point where she could get triggered because she is really emotional too.

[00:07:22] But when it's important.

[00:07:24] When it's important.

[00:07:25] I think that's the threshold.

[00:07:27] If they're in danger.

[00:07:28] If there's, yeah, if it's so important that they need, we need to stand our ground.

[00:07:35] Right, right.

[00:07:35] Of course.

[00:07:36] If it's an electrical wire or something.

[00:07:39] Right.

[00:07:39] But there's always a very good explanation.

[00:07:41] It's never, you and I are never because I said so.

[00:07:44] I think that the dance of communication is very important in our family.

[00:07:51] I value that a lot.

[00:07:53] I valued it growing up.

[00:07:55] We got to discuss things at the end of the week.

[00:07:59] We were able to have meetings and I loved that we called the meetings and that we sat at a table and we got to express ourselves.

[00:08:11] And that's why they're important to us.

[00:08:13] Yes.

[00:08:14] I think that having those discussions with our kids are important because we want them to understand both our way, because we're building future parents here.

[00:08:25] That's right.

[00:08:25] And business.

[00:08:25] We want them to understand our way of thinking.

[00:08:27] Business owners and leaders.

[00:08:29] And we want them to understand also that we have rules and that, you know, those, not that rules aren't meant to be broken sometimes, just our rules aren't meant to be broken because we have certain rules that are in place for them.

[00:08:42] For their safety, for their learning experience.

[00:08:46] For their well-being.

[00:08:47] Building mindset, challenging them, but all in healthy, in a healthy way.

[00:08:53] I mean, you know, just yesterday when Daniel had come to me and he was, he was, he wanted to play or go outside or he was, oh no, he wanted to play on the piano.

[00:09:05] And he plays on the piano on, on, on his thing and whatever that thing is called.

[00:09:12] I don't know what it's called.

[00:09:13] That was a microphone, all kinds of things.

[00:09:15] But it's, so he's on the keyboard.

[00:09:17] And so he's, he wants to play on his piano, but I told him he couldn't do it until he had read his book.

[00:09:23] And, and I found him playing on the piano and I had to, it would have been easy enough to let him go, but I had made the point that you needed to read your book.

[00:09:34] You need to cross that off.

[00:09:35] We have a list that sits on our refrigerator, the things that he has to do.

[00:09:38] And we allow him to do that on his own because we expect him to do it the way he's supposed to do it.

[00:09:44] And when he decided to go play on the piano before he had done his reading, which he knew he had to do his reading first, he needed to order.

[00:09:53] And he hadn't.

[00:09:55] Yeah, I could have let that go.

[00:09:57] Right.

[00:09:58] But I, because I think more so, I almost went over and said to him, listen, I know you were supposed to, you're supposed to play, you're supposed to do your reading first, but I'm going to let you play on the piano.

[00:10:11] But the only reason I didn't do that is because I had specifically told him I had verbalized to him.

[00:10:16] And that's, in our family, that's important.

[00:10:19] Self-discipline, that's important for sure.

[00:10:22] And I know he would want to play the piano, but there's also responsibility.

[00:10:29] And I know that later on in life, things are going to get a lot harder when you're an adult.

[00:10:35] And I don't want, I feel like this responsibility and the mindset needs to start when you're young.

[00:10:43] And discipline.

[00:10:44] And when you don't have discipline.

[00:10:46] And it's not discipline.

[00:10:46] If you don't have discipline now, you're not going to have it later.

[00:10:48] Right.

[00:10:49] We don't need to spank them.

[00:10:51] There's, the way that we communicate with them, it is so powerful where they understand.

[00:10:59] They get it.

[00:11:00] They totally get it.

[00:11:02] Even the way that they eat, they understand.

[00:11:04] And it's, it kind of blows me away where before there was all this eruption and exposing of the poisons in our food.

[00:11:17] Remember someone said that I,

[00:11:19] I'll be the first one.

[00:11:22] Because she doesn't take her kids to McDonald's or, or gives them M&Ms or Smarties.

[00:11:27] My kids don't want that stuff.

[00:11:29] Okay.

[00:11:30] They'll be the first ones to tell you not to eat that.

[00:11:33] And they have all the reasons why.

[00:11:36] And they are not sad, unhappy children.

[00:11:41] They love the food that they eat.

[00:11:44] And I just feel that that self-discipline, maybe it's a harsh word, but they can explore anything that's, that's, that's, that's going to nourish and heal their bodies.

[00:12:00] They understand that food is medicine.

[00:12:02] And that's, and that's a good point.

[00:12:03] So it's nothing to ever fight about.

[00:12:05] And it just, it makes me sick to the stomach.

[00:12:08] But the truth is, we had to teach them that though.

[00:12:10] We had to teach them that.

[00:12:11] And that was one of our things.

[00:12:13] That was a sticking point for us.

[00:12:14] That we're going to feed them a certain way.

[00:12:17] And if they, if they try to, if they don't go along with that program, that's, that was a sword we were willing to fall on.

[00:12:25] And we were going to say, it's going to be this way or the highway because we're not going to feed you that junk food.

[00:12:32] Right. But we don't have that.

[00:12:33] Here's the thing.

[00:12:34] Well, they didn't give us any problem though.

[00:12:36] There's never a problem because they didn't know about the other stuff.

[00:12:39] But when we started, when they get older, cause you, you guys have the babies, right?

[00:12:46] You're, you're nursing.

[00:12:48] I chose to nurse.

[00:12:49] I didn't, I don't need to drink.

[00:12:50] I don't need to drink coffee or any of that stuff.

[00:12:53] I chose to nurse and it was extended.

[00:12:56] Absolutely extended.

[00:12:58] I didn't wean them.

[00:13:00] They weaned themselves.

[00:13:02] So they decided to be done when they wanted to be done.

[00:13:07] And if it was left to destiny, she'd still be nursing.

[00:13:10] And, and anyway, um, I guess my point is that we, we are what we preach.

[00:13:19] We don't have that stuff in our, in our, what is it?

[00:13:24] Pantry.

[00:13:25] And we don't go to those types of restaurants.

[00:13:27] So it's never a problem.

[00:13:29] But they, I always, they never were exposed to it.

[00:13:32] So they don't really know what they're missing too much.

[00:13:34] But they always understood what they were eating.

[00:13:36] This is what this does for your body.

[00:13:38] It helps your eyes.

[00:13:39] It helps your hair.

[00:13:41] Everything has, there, as I said, like communication is so important in our house,

[00:13:48] especially coming from a first generation mother.

[00:13:51] And I remember she was very good at getting her point out and she was an incredible negotiator.

[00:13:57] But sometimes people would come at her because she had an accent and I had an accent in school.

[00:14:05] So for me in our house, communication is very important and discussing why to do these things.

[00:14:13] So food and that type of thing isn't really a problem or they understand, but it's still a little bit of a struggle going to bed in time.

[00:14:22] But they understand why.

[00:14:24] It's not just because I said so.

[00:14:27] That's the time your body needs to heal.

[00:14:30] Your cells need, your cells need it.

[00:14:32] Your bones need it.

[00:14:34] Your cartilage needs it.

[00:14:36] And when they wake up in the middle of the night and they have pains, growing pains,

[00:14:41] it's because they haven't been sleeping very well.

[00:14:44] Plus their body needs, it's growing.

[00:14:46] So it's lacking something.

[00:14:49] Anyway, I guess what we're trying to get into is choosing your battles.

[00:14:56] And I feel the same for you and I when we're not seeing eye to eye.

[00:15:03] I think...

[00:15:04] Ready to duke it out?

[00:15:06] The truth is...

[00:15:07] I don't...

[00:15:08] Yeah, but...

[00:15:08] For me, because I grew up in this communicating what's wrong, nothing was off the table.

[00:15:17] And I feel sometimes you have a hard time with it.

[00:15:22] You'd rather not discuss things or you'll...

[00:15:26] What is it called?

[00:15:27] I don't want to argue.

[00:15:28] A little bit stonewall.

[00:15:30] I think in your...

[00:15:30] But then you don't need to.

[00:15:32] You get triggered.

[00:15:33] You do get triggered easily.

[00:15:35] In your world, you guys want to discuss it.

[00:15:36] But you're a Hungarian.

[00:15:37] And the way you guys discuss is...

[00:15:41] It sounds like an argument to me.

[00:15:43] And so I don't like to talk like that.

[00:15:46] I mean, I definitely...

[00:15:47] I'm not willing to let it go.

[00:15:48] I definitely soften it up.

[00:15:51] I know, but there's also a really uncomfortable...

[00:15:55] When you just sweep things under the rug...

[00:15:58] I'm not sweeping.

[00:15:58] I'm picking and choosing my battles.

[00:16:00] So if I'm willing to die on a sword for it...

[00:16:03] But I've been around...

[00:16:03] I will say this is the way it's going to be.

[00:16:05] This is what we need to do.

[00:16:07] And this is why.

[00:16:09] And sometimes you'll give me some pushback.

[00:16:12] Or sometimes you'll just know I'm serious.

[00:16:14] And it has to be this way.

[00:16:15] Right.

[00:16:16] And then there's other times that you...

[00:16:19] I can see it in your eyes.

[00:16:20] And I can see you're pushing.

[00:16:22] And I may say a little something like...

[00:16:25] But I don't want to do it because of this.

[00:16:26] We need to do this.

[00:16:28] And then I'll feel your pushback.

[00:16:30] And I'll go, you know what?

[00:16:32] It's not worth going down this road.

[00:16:34] Because I can already tell I'm not going to win this argument.

[00:16:36] And it's not worth fighting over.

[00:16:38] Yeah, it's not worth fighting.

[00:16:39] It's not important enough to me to fight over.

[00:16:41] It's not worth fighting.

[00:16:42] But at the same time, for me, it's important to discuss things.

[00:16:48] I definitely can't have a home with toxic harmony.

[00:16:52] I don't...

[00:16:53] I'm not discussing.

[00:16:54] I know we don't have that in our home.

[00:16:57] I just don't want to argue.

[00:16:57] I'm good with it.

[00:16:57] I'm already good with it.

[00:16:58] If you say it and you're like, okay, you'll hear me go, okay, I'm good with it.

[00:17:02] I guess it's not that.

[00:17:03] Because I don't want to put something out there that...

[00:17:07] I think you think that I'm throwing a tantrum or something like it.

[00:17:12] You do sometimes.

[00:17:14] You do sometimes.

[00:17:15] I'm not throwing a tantrum.

[00:17:17] I'm going...

[00:17:18] I think we...

[00:17:19] I give up.

[00:17:20] I give up.

[00:17:21] I give up.

[00:17:21] I know.

[00:17:22] You got it.

[00:17:23] See, even that tone that can hit me in a way where...

[00:17:26] What do you do?

[00:17:27] Why is he trying to tell me to shut up?

[00:17:29] Oh, sorry.

[00:17:30] We got kids listening.

[00:17:31] I never said shut up.

[00:17:32] To not speak.

[00:17:33] I said that I don't want to argue about it.

[00:17:35] But sometimes...

[00:17:36] I'm good with whatever you say.

[00:17:37] Whatever.

[00:17:38] I'm good.

[00:17:39] We can do it.

[00:17:39] But it can hurt my feelings if I don't get to get my sentence out.

[00:17:43] Because I always have a good explanation.

[00:17:46] It may not be something that you agree with always.

[00:17:50] I don't agree with everything you say.

[00:17:52] The kids may not agree with everything we say.

[00:17:55] But I feel everybody is awarded an explanation.

[00:18:00] Or just to get it out.

[00:18:03] And I feel as women...

[00:18:05] I obviously don't agree.

[00:18:06] But I'm...

[00:18:07] Sure.

[00:18:07] That's fine.

[00:18:08] I don't agree 100% on some of those things.

[00:18:10] Sure.

[00:18:11] Anything.

[00:18:11] Whatever it is.

[00:18:12] But I'm willing to let it go.

[00:18:13] And I don't want to argue about it.

[00:18:15] And I'm kind of like, okay, whatever.

[00:18:16] We'll do it your way.

[00:18:18] We'll do it your way.

[00:18:19] You win.

[00:18:20] I don't want to argue about it.

[00:18:21] No.

[00:18:22] It's good this way.

[00:18:22] You love to stop.

[00:18:24] I'm the one that's always...

[00:18:26] That's not true.

[00:18:26] Yes.

[00:18:27] Well, yeah.

[00:18:28] I'll try to throw a jab or two.

[00:18:29] I always let you...

[00:18:30] I'll like, okay, I'm going to jab.

[00:18:31] And then you'll like throw the right cross.

[00:18:33] And I'm like, oh, okay.

[00:18:34] Are we kidding?

[00:18:34] That probably wasn't worth it.

[00:18:36] And then I'll say, okay, I'm going to throw this jab out.

[00:18:39] And what would I mean by jab?

[00:18:40] I mean words.

[00:18:41] I think...

[00:18:42] I'll just throw the word out.

[00:18:42] I think...

[00:18:42] And then I'll be like, we should do it this way because of this.

[00:18:46] And you'll be like, no, we're doing it this way.

[00:18:49] No, no.

[00:18:50] I'm like, okay, I'm done.

[00:18:50] I'm done.

[00:18:51] You're getting...

[00:18:51] You know, you're getting better.

[00:18:53] But I remember in the beginning...

[00:18:55] I'm getting better.

[00:18:55] I'm like a dog.

[00:18:56] I'm like a lap dog.

[00:18:57] No, it's not that.

[00:18:58] I'm just saying when we have something that we disagree on or maybe I don't like something

[00:19:06] and I don't want to throw anything or anyone under the bus, but there's something that is

[00:19:13] bothering me.

[00:19:14] Right.

[00:19:14] And I bring up maybe it's someone's name or maybe it's a situation or maybe it's even

[00:19:20] something from your past growing up and you'd rather just not talk about it.

[00:19:27] And, um, and you get real...

[00:19:31] And I could see that it's going to go to a fight because you so deeply don't want to be

[00:19:39] vulnerable.

[00:19:42] Yes.

[00:19:42] Because I don't want to...

[00:19:44] Because I know myself.

[00:19:45] But I'm like, let's just talk.

[00:19:47] But you think you'll explode.

[00:19:49] This isn't an...

[00:19:50] This isn't how to argue a podcast, but I'm just saying, listen, I know myself.

[00:19:56] I don't want to argue.

[00:19:58] I'm okay with how you've decided that you want to do this or you want it to be done this

[00:20:04] way.

[00:20:04] I'm good with it.

[00:20:05] No, but...

[00:20:06] You win.

[00:20:06] But I think you're not...

[00:20:08] You're not...

[00:20:09] You're not...

[00:20:10] See, I can't.

[00:20:12] It's...

[00:20:12] If there's a subject I want to talk about, sometimes I just need to express it.

[00:20:19] I get it.

[00:20:19] I get it.

[00:20:19] And if you could just sit there and listen and we can talk about it, that's always

[00:20:26] helpful.

[00:20:26] I've done that and I've got better at that.

[00:20:27] But rather than escalating, I think you're really good now where you don't escalate.

[00:20:32] I think in the beginning of our relationship, you really...

[00:20:35] Oh, because I thought, oh my gosh, who is this Hungarian girl that wants to control me?

[00:20:40] It's not even control.

[00:20:42] That's what it felt like.

[00:20:43] No, but I think that's something triggering from...

[00:20:47] I just want to talk about stuff.

[00:20:49] Nothing was off...

[00:20:49] Well, you got to understand.

[00:20:50] But can I just...

[00:20:51] I was running a $300 million company.

[00:20:54] Everybody's kissing your butt because you're paying them money.

[00:20:56] No, everybody's kissing my butt.

[00:20:57] That's what it feels like.

[00:20:58] I had to run around and make things happen.

[00:20:58] Everybody wants something from you, but I had all my own everything.

[00:21:03] No, no, no, no.

[00:21:03] I didn't have to depend on you for nothing.

[00:21:05] I was the last word in my business.

[00:21:08] And all of a sudden I have to start listening to an opinion of somebody else.

[00:21:13] It's not listening.

[00:21:15] It's just discussing.

[00:21:17] I want to understand why you think this way, why this triggers you.

[00:21:22] Just because for me, it's so important to understand the mechanics behind your mindset or even,

[00:21:34] well, why can't we just talk about this yet?

[00:21:36] I'm used to...

[00:21:38] I get it.

[00:21:38] Say we go to a family and it's like, oh yeah, talk about that.

[00:21:41] I'm like, what do you mean?

[00:21:42] Like I could talk about anything.

[00:21:45] I don't understand.

[00:21:46] But I feel like you're so scared to either hurt someone's feelings or escalate or, but

[00:21:52] it's like, we're not trying to argue, but we should be able to freely speak about anything.

[00:21:59] We are freely speaking.

[00:22:01] I don't want to talk about something because I don't want to end, because I feel like at

[00:22:07] that point...

[00:22:07] I think that's exactly the eureka moment.

[00:22:09] No.

[00:22:10] No.

[00:22:10] You feel like I want to fight, but I don't.

[00:22:13] I just want to discuss something.

[00:22:15] Well, that's what it feels like.

[00:22:16] No.

[00:22:17] Because I...

[00:22:17] I hate fighting.

[00:22:18] Because here's the thing.

[00:22:18] It hurts my heart.

[00:22:19] I know there's a joke in here somewhere.

[00:22:22] There's a comedian standing, listening right now who's going, this is such a great joke.

[00:22:27] I will...

[00:22:28] This is a great joke.

[00:22:29] Because the truth is, because you...

[00:22:31] I've given you the win.

[00:22:33] You win.

[00:22:34] We'll do it your way.

[00:22:35] But it's not really.

[00:22:36] We'll do it your way.

[00:22:37] It's not because you're actually winning.

[00:22:39] I give up.

[00:22:40] You're actually winning because you don't want to continue the conversation.

[00:22:45] Yeah, because I don't want to argue about it.

[00:22:47] And I feel like you're going to try to throw in these buzzwords that are going to make me

[00:22:53] not happy.

[00:22:53] I feel it's...

[00:22:54] And I've already let you win.

[00:22:56] I've already let you win.

[00:22:57] But it's not really winning.

[00:22:59] No.

[00:22:59] It's dangerous.

[00:23:00] Hold it.

[00:23:01] I'm going to pick...

[00:23:02] Let's find the title of the podcast.

[00:23:04] I'm choosing my battles wisely.

[00:23:06] Okay?

[00:23:07] That's the title.

[00:23:08] That's literally the title of the podcast.

[00:23:11] I think we're going to have to do a different podcast.

[00:23:13] The danger of pushing things under the rug.

[00:23:17] No, I'm not pushing things.

[00:23:17] Or sweeping things under the rug.

[00:23:19] You win.

[00:23:19] I will do it your way.

[00:23:20] No, it's not that though.

[00:23:22] Oh my gosh.

[00:23:23] It's not.

[00:23:24] Let's agree to disagree at this point.

[00:23:27] I guess I'm just trying to understand what...

[00:23:31] Here...

[00:23:31] Okay.

[00:23:32] So here's the thing.

[00:23:34] Here's the thing.

[00:23:35] Okay.

[00:23:36] Let's argue offline.

[00:23:37] Okay?

[00:23:39] Argue?

[00:23:42] No, I guess I'm just trying to say it is dangerous to sweep things under the rug.

[00:23:49] I'm not trying to sweep things under the rug.

[00:23:50] No, I'm not saying you are.

[00:23:52] I'm saying that there's...

[00:23:54] You're exactly saying that I am.

[00:23:55] I promise, people.

[00:23:56] You're looking at me while you're saying it.

[00:23:58] No.

[00:23:58] I know who you're talking about.

[00:24:00] You're like talking about me.

[00:24:01] You're triggered.

[00:24:02] Yeah.

[00:24:02] I swear to God, I'm not trying to.

[00:24:04] I swear.

[00:24:05] I guess I'm just trying to bring up that point.

[00:24:07] That it is dangerous to push things under the rug.

[00:24:09] Because that'll cause a toxic harmony.

[00:24:13] No, you absolutely shouldn't.

[00:24:14] And I have been around people...

[00:24:16] I don't ever want to push things that are going to make us uncomfortable.

[00:24:20] We need to talk about this.

[00:24:22] Not you and...

[00:24:22] Not necessarily you and I, but there's always people around us.

[00:24:27] And there's some people where it's like, oh, hi, how are you?

[00:24:32] And it's hugs.

[00:24:33] And it's...

[00:24:34] You know that there's stuff there that's never been discussed because it feels dangerous

[00:24:41] to them.

[00:24:42] And it's like, I would rather...

[00:24:44] Let's just discuss this.

[00:24:46] Let's get it off the table so that it's not years and years and years of toxic harmony.

[00:24:52] Because it is so...

[00:24:57] It's just so clear.

[00:24:58] Well, it'll eat at you.

[00:25:00] Those things will eat at you and they'll just live with you.

[00:25:02] Like family events or any of that kind of stuff.

[00:25:04] It's just...

[00:25:04] It's awkward.

[00:25:06] It's yucky.

[00:25:07] I don't ever want my kids to be around that kind of thing or have to be like that.

[00:25:12] And I didn't grow up like that.

[00:25:14] I think that the beautiful part about being able to identify whatever is on your heart,

[00:25:25] whatever it is, it may be something small.

[00:25:27] It may be something huge.

[00:25:28] It may be something you didn't understand from the past growing up.

[00:25:32] You should be able to talk about those things.

[00:25:34] And it shouldn't be a problem.

[00:25:36] And it shouldn't be scary.

[00:25:38] I don't ever want my kids to feel like they can't talk about something with me

[00:25:43] or they shouldn't say something.

[00:25:45] They can come to me about anything.

[00:25:49] And I don't want it to ever turn into a fight.

[00:25:53] I want them to just freely be able to communicate.

[00:25:56] I think that's what I'm...

[00:25:57] I think that's just my whole point.

[00:25:59] I think that those types of conversations save the escalation from any kind of head-butting

[00:26:08] or, God forbid, the toxic harmony words,

[00:26:13] oh, everything's fine.

[00:26:14] Hello.

[00:26:15] Or where it actually escalates.

[00:26:19] I think if you're able to communicate in a powerful way,

[00:26:24] I think you don't need to go to a fight.

[00:26:29] You don't need to get to the battle.

[00:26:31] Right.

[00:26:32] And especially us acknowledging that we are on the same team

[00:26:37] and also letting our children know that this family is a team.

[00:26:43] I prayed for this.

[00:26:45] I wanted this.

[00:26:47] And sometimes I feel men, they have it so hard.

[00:26:53] They have so much on their shoulders.

[00:26:55] And they have all this pressure that when we, as women, if we don't, we're not able...

[00:27:01] Because I know we're overstimulated.

[00:27:03] Come on.

[00:27:04] We're dealing with babies.

[00:27:06] My husband sleeps with earplugs in.

[00:27:10] Like, he doesn't really, but he'll never wake up to a screaming child.

[00:27:14] Or we're just...

[00:27:17] We're not really...

[00:27:18] As women, we're not really sleeping.

[00:27:20] Like last night, the night before, and the night before, and the night before,

[00:27:22] I never had a full night's sleep because you feel that little...

[00:27:29] You just feel that movement.

[00:27:31] Do you have to pee?

[00:27:32] The baby, you know, the little ones.

[00:27:34] Do you have to pee?

[00:27:35] But in the same way, if I hear a broken window,

[00:27:38] I'll jump up as fast as anybody because...

[00:27:42] Yeah, of course.

[00:27:43] I'm listening.

[00:27:44] We're wired different, right?

[00:27:45] We have different duties, yes, for sure.

[00:27:47] But it does get overstimulated for us.

[00:27:52] And I feel when...

[00:27:54] Back...

[00:27:54] I'm trying to bring it back around because I took it...

[00:27:57] I'm just trying to give you an example.

[00:27:59] Like as women, we don't really sleep.

[00:28:02] We're just laying there.

[00:28:03] We don't really sleep.

[00:28:05] We're kind of awake.

[00:28:06] And we've got a million things running through our head.

[00:28:09] And sometimes we don't communicate properly with our husbands.

[00:28:12] When we're not coming at them, but they can feel that we are coming at them

[00:28:18] or we're trying to start a fight.

[00:28:20] But that's not true.

[00:28:21] We out of anyone...

[00:28:23] Because our parents know us the best when we're under their roof, right?

[00:28:28] That is our God-given blessing.

[00:28:31] And that's what we're supposed to do as parents.

[00:28:36] But once you get married, it's in the Bible.

[00:28:40] You are now one.

[00:28:42] One flesh, right?

[00:28:43] Who knows you better?

[00:28:44] You know me the best and I know you the best.

[00:28:47] And it's the enemy trying to make you think,

[00:28:50] dang, she's coming at me.

[00:28:52] But sometimes we're just not able to communicate properly.

[00:28:58] I actually care about him.

[00:29:00] I'm the only one that's going to hold him accountable.

[00:29:05] Or if there's danger, I feel it.

[00:29:08] And I want to talk about this.

[00:29:09] Because it's endangering our whole family.

[00:29:12] Yeah.

[00:29:13] But it probably doesn't feel like a big deal to you.

[00:29:16] But I feel like the women are those...

[00:29:20] They have the intuition.

[00:29:22] They have that feeling.

[00:29:24] They have that instinct.

[00:29:25] And as men, I wish that rather than the...

[00:29:32] Because you can flip and you've been a cop and you've been in martial arts and you do have that grumpy side.

[00:29:38] But I do need that fatherly love that I probably need more than any woman.

[00:29:47] Because I have had to be the masculine for many years with my mom.

[00:29:53] Because we didn't have that male figure.

[00:29:55] And when my brother died, we had one...

[00:29:58] Not only did we not have my father, now we didn't have my brother.

[00:30:03] And now it was just the two of us that had to be strong.

[00:30:07] Really strong.

[00:30:08] So for me, sometimes I feel I really need that softness where I don't want...

[00:30:15] I don't know why I'm getting emotional.

[00:30:19] But it's like, can I just, I guess, fall apart?

[00:30:24] Like, what is it called?

[00:30:26] Survival?

[00:30:27] Is that survival ever going to go away?

[00:30:30] And you didn't have somebody to...

[00:30:34] Your mom was being so strong for the whole family that sometimes it was probably...

[00:30:38] And you have those survival instincts.

[00:30:40] Like, when you and I talk about it, my girlfriends will be out and they're...

[00:30:47] And they just...

[00:30:48] They're in a dangerous situation.

[00:30:52] I'm the one with my hand over the juice or the...

[00:30:57] Because I don't drink.

[00:30:58] But, you know, back in the day when we did go to events and stuff, I was always...

[00:31:03] My eyes were always watching.

[00:31:05] And I was always watching for danger.

[00:31:08] And I feel like I just want to be...

[00:31:11] And being protective.

[00:31:12] Right.

[00:31:13] Yeah, because you had to.

[00:31:14] Right.

[00:31:14] Because you didn't have your dad there and your brother had passed away.

[00:31:18] And so it was...

[00:31:19] I'm sure that wasn't easy.

[00:31:21] So I think as women, we do.

[00:31:23] We do need that.

[00:31:25] Not only do we need our husbands, but that kind of...

[00:31:30] For me, I need that fatherly...

[00:31:35] But I don't know.

[00:31:36] Figure.

[00:31:37] Yeah.

[00:31:37] That fatherly love.

[00:31:39] That fatherly listener.

[00:31:40] I just want to be a little...

[00:31:42] You need somebody who's going to listen.

[00:31:42] And part of me wants to be a little soft girl.

[00:31:46] And hold you.

[00:31:47] When you're safe.

[00:31:48] Yeah.

[00:31:48] And take care of you.

[00:31:49] And I get that.

[00:31:50] And I understand that too.

[00:31:51] And so we got to have...

[00:31:52] So let's...

[00:31:53] I mean, on subject, the choosing our battles wisely.

[00:31:57] We love to get off subject.

[00:31:58] But choosing our battles wisely in our marriage, our family, with our kids, in life, you know,

[00:32:12] it's like we...

[00:32:15] I think listening to your employees and listening...

[00:32:19] The idea of being a great leader in your business is usually being a good listener.

[00:32:26] And sometimes finding when you're going to choose your battles wisely is very important in your business.

[00:32:34] Because lots of times if you hear someone express an idea, it's easy for you to go,

[00:32:40] well, I had a different way of seeing that.

[00:32:42] And this is how I would deal with that problem.

[00:32:48] But they have an idea of how they want to deal with the problem.

[00:32:52] Sometimes and many times it's best to let them as long as it's not going to hurt anything.

[00:32:57] As long as it's not one of those situations where you need to fall on the sword.

[00:33:03] It's a situation that you can allow them to either make a mistake or maybe prove you wrong.

[00:33:09] And so it's good to let people follow through with their own ideas.

[00:33:15] And you're choosing your battles wisely in your business because it's not always good to...

[00:33:21] You know, when I was a police officer, it was important that...

[00:33:27] And you learned this in the police academy that...

[00:33:30] It's just another way of saying choose your battles wisely.

[00:33:34] It's we were told not to try stuff or to say things that you couldn't back up.

[00:33:44] So in other words, I wouldn't tell somebody, get out of the car, I'm going to search your car,

[00:33:49] if I couldn't legally get them out of the car and search their car.

[00:33:54] So I would never say those words to somebody on a traffic stop unless I already knew,

[00:34:00] I can put this guy in handcuffs right now and put him in the back of my car.

[00:34:04] Because I didn't want to deliver empty threats and I didn't want to choose a battle that I knew I couldn't finish.

[00:34:13] Because if I said, I need you to get out of your car right now and I need you to come stand at the back of my car

[00:34:20] because I'm going to go through your car, if I couldn't legally do that.

[00:34:25] Now I might say something like, hey, you know, we're having a lot of crime in this area

[00:34:30] and I see you out here late at night and I'm wondering what you're doing out here.

[00:34:34] You know, you're not doing anything that you shouldn't be doing, are you?

[00:34:38] You don't have anything in your car you're not supposed to have, are you?

[00:34:40] And then they'll usually say no.

[00:34:41] And I'll say, well, do you mind if I check real quick?

[00:34:44] And they'll say, I'm hoping they're going to say okay, but they may say no.

[00:34:48] And if they say no, the funny thing is I can't make them do it.

[00:34:52] I can't actually check their car.

[00:34:53] So you're taught in the academy to, you know, watch your language, learn this language,

[00:35:00] this communication way of communicating with people so that you're not presenting something

[00:35:09] that you can't actually back up.

[00:35:11] And I think it's just another way of saying choosing your battles wisely

[00:35:15] because I would not choose a battle.

[00:35:17] And in the same way, maybe a little bit different thing,

[00:35:20] if I'm looking at a guy who's like 6'6", and then of course I'm not 6'6",

[00:35:24] and he's, you know, like 300 pounds, I'm going to choose my battle wisely

[00:35:29] because I'm not going to, this is not a guy I want to fight by myself if I have to.

[00:35:33] Oh yeah, for sure.

[00:35:34] You know, different ways you're going to look at battles and go,

[00:35:37] That applies.

[00:35:38] This is not, yeah, depending on how it applies,

[00:35:40] this is not the time for me to be in this fight right now.

[00:35:45] Right.

[00:35:45] And it's not worth me being in this fight right now.

[00:35:48] Right. And especially in marriage, I mean, unless you're still talking about business,

[00:35:52] but even in business, you want to have a strong team.

[00:35:56] And you're going to understand if there's a weak link, there's no choice.

[00:36:03] You're going to have to let go of them.

[00:36:07] This isn't the job for them.

[00:36:08] This isn't their career.

[00:36:10] But even in business, as I said, you definitely are building a team

[00:36:16] because you're only as strong as your weakest link.

[00:36:19] So you definitely, definitely have to make a wise choice there

[00:36:25] to evaluate everybody and reevaluate everybody.

[00:36:31] And everybody has to be on the same page.

[00:36:33] And sometimes that's really hard.

[00:36:35] You have to somewhat let them go a little bit and see them perform on their own.

[00:36:40] Because if you're making all the decisions,

[00:36:42] it's not actually them performing all the time.

[00:36:45] Right.

[00:36:45] So you want to hear their feedback.

[00:36:47] I feel everybody needs to have their strong points.

[00:36:49] And I think that's what makes your business family.

[00:36:53] That's what makes your business community.

[00:36:55] Everybody has to have different strong points

[00:36:57] and bring different things to the table.

[00:36:58] And yeah, you definitely can't control everyone

[00:37:01] because everybody has a different gift.

[00:37:03] And that's the beautiful part.

[00:37:07] And I just, I don't, I feel like I've never really had any kind of war disputes

[00:37:14] or anything like that in the business atmosphere.

[00:37:17] But I could certainly, I've heard nightmares for sure.

[00:37:23] Yeah.

[00:37:23] But in our family, oh, sorry, go ahead.

[00:37:26] Well, I was just going to say where you normally have those

[00:37:28] is when you have two people of equal power or two people.

[00:37:33] Or not working as a team.

[00:37:35] And not working as a team.

[00:37:36] Exactly.

[00:37:36] That's what I was going to say.

[00:37:37] So you have, so imagine like in a marriage,

[00:37:40] when you have two people, that can be a very,

[00:37:43] that's why half a marriage is in a divorce.

[00:37:46] Because it can end up, if you don't know how to deal with that type of situation.

[00:37:52] Right.

[00:37:53] Then it can be very volatile and it doesn't end well.

[00:37:58] And you have to try to, that's where you have to know,

[00:38:01] hey, choose your battles wisely.

[00:38:03] Choose your battles wisely.

[00:38:04] Is this worth fighting over?

[00:38:06] And know that you are on the same team.

[00:38:08] And I think that sometimes people lose sight because of ego or just the,

[00:38:15] I don't know, just the thought of wanting to be right.

[00:38:19] And I think we need to chain our children at a young age.

[00:38:23] And can you step back and go, what am I really arguing about here?

[00:38:29] Right.

[00:38:29] Like, can you take a moment when you're in a situation and go and,

[00:38:33] and, and you've decided, let's say you have decided,

[00:38:38] hey, I want to take the kids out today.

[00:38:40] And I've decided that they haven't done this and I need them to do this.

[00:38:46] And I've told them for the last two days to do this and they haven't done it.

[00:38:50] So I need to stand my ground and I need them not going outside to play today

[00:38:54] because they didn't finish what they were supposed to finish.

[00:38:57] Right.

[00:38:57] And so now sending them outside to play does not teach them any type of lesson.

[00:39:04] Right.

[00:39:04] And I, and you'll see if, if that was the situation, now I'm not saying that was.

[00:39:08] Yeah, it's not.

[00:39:09] We haven't had that situation.

[00:39:10] We're always on the same team.

[00:39:11] But, but if that was the situation, you know, I would be serious about that.

[00:39:15] A hundred percent.

[00:39:16] And you would hear in my voice.

[00:39:18] I would be supporting you.

[00:39:18] It would probably be a time not to.

[00:39:19] I'd probably be softening it a little because I don't,

[00:39:22] I definitely don't ever want to see the kids upset.

[00:39:25] I want them to have a great childhood and I want them to understand that we love them

[00:39:33] and that we support them and we just want the very, very best for them.

[00:39:38] And in the same.

[00:39:39] And I think they do.

[00:39:40] They really do understand that.

[00:39:42] And they do.

[00:39:42] But I do understand that sometimes they will test their, um, not so much Daniel.

[00:39:50] He understands and he's always been wise beyond his years.

[00:39:55] Always.

[00:39:56] All his life.

[00:39:57] He's never had a temper tantrum.

[00:40:00] I've seen him be frustrated, but he's never had a temper tantrum.

[00:40:04] And destiny has never had a full blown temper tantrum, but she definitely does have big emotions

[00:40:12] at times.

[00:40:13] And, you know, it's so funny now that we're talking about it.

[00:40:18] Um, there's been times when you're not around or maybe you have been around, but destiny will

[00:40:24] start to have big feelings and I'll be handling it in a certain way.

[00:40:30] And Daniel, he's very observant.

[00:40:33] My goodness.

[00:40:34] He will sit back, take in the situation and then he'll come to me and he'll be like, mom,

[00:40:42] I got this.

[00:40:43] And I remember this happening when he was like four and five years old.

[00:40:48] He's like, mom, I got this.

[00:40:50] And he'll negotiate with her in a way where, um, he just, he just does it different.

[00:40:58] And he's like, mom, you have to, you have to like make it a game and you have to play

[00:41:03] with her.

[00:41:03] I know he uses our own words against us.

[00:41:06] We just do that yesterday on something.

[00:41:08] He used our own words against us.

[00:41:10] We're like, oh yeah, that's what we teach.

[00:41:12] Why weren't we doing that?

[00:41:13] Yeah, exactly.

[00:41:14] But I think I was dealing, I was dealing with a lot.

[00:41:18] He's going to be, and I always tell him and he does, you know what I love?

[00:41:22] I love that he asks, do you think I'm going to be a good dad?

[00:41:26] Do you think I'm going to be a good husband?

[00:41:28] And I said, because you already care now, I know you're going to be phenomenal.

[00:41:36] And destiny too.

[00:41:37] So I know they're headed in the right direction.

[00:41:41] She's going to be a little bit more of a handful.

[00:41:42] It's okay.

[00:41:43] It's okay.

[00:41:43] But do you know what I love?

[00:41:45] I love that she's not soft and that she's opinionated and that she does have her own.

[00:41:54] I know she's going to change her own side.

[00:41:57] She's going to change a part of the world for sure.

[00:41:59] Yeah, I love, I do love that.

[00:42:01] So, and that's the thing is you have to find the beauty within your children.

[00:42:06] And of course you do.

[00:42:08] Of course you do.

[00:42:09] I know that.

[00:42:10] But I think that that's just something.

[00:42:12] Don't forget that every child is different.

[00:42:16] And I thought, oh, I could have 10 more Daniels.

[00:42:18] And sometimes God gives us the things that we need to work on in ourselves, where I think

[00:42:27] destiny's really taught me even more about patience and my own emotions.

[00:42:35] And it's such a great, I've got goosebumps because it's such a great thing because we all

[00:42:42] have children that are different.

[00:42:44] And I know that you're probably thinking back and yes, my daughter taught me this and my

[00:42:50] son taught me this.

[00:42:52] And it's just so valuable and it's such a blessing.

[00:42:56] And you can't help but sit back and smile about it because God gives you exactly what you need

[00:43:06] in your children, in your family, in your husband, in your spouse.

[00:43:09] And you may be pulling your hair and I don't understand my wife is being like this or my

[00:43:17] husband is being like this.

[00:43:19] And, and you have to just think it's because God gave you exactly what you needed, where

[00:43:27] you need to develop.

[00:43:28] We've talked about this before.

[00:43:29] They're usually addressing something, a short giving within you that you didn't, that you

[00:43:36] didn't work on yet, that you need to work on.

[00:43:38] You may not even realize that is, that you have, or that's, that's, that you're not, that

[00:43:43] you're not dealing with.

[00:43:44] I think me for, for you, I open you up, whereas you would close off.

[00:43:51] And I, I encourage and invite you to open up even more.

[00:43:55] And it maybe doesn't feel healing, but I think that ultimately it is softening you up and it

[00:44:03] is opening you up and it is letting you explore parts of yourself that maybe felt frightening.

[00:44:10] And I think the same for me.

[00:44:11] And I think that this is the thing that we have to, rather than letting our spouse trigger

[00:44:17] us or think that they're pushing us in a direction that it gets divorced.

[00:44:25] It's like, it's just, that's all the enemy.

[00:44:27] Just look at it in a different light.

[00:44:29] And I feel almost like this podcast, just talking about it because we don't obviously want to

[00:44:34] throw each other under the bus or anything like that, but just look at it in a different

[00:44:40] light.

[00:44:41] Put those lenses on the different color of lenses and just, you're going to learn so much,

[00:44:48] not only about yourself, but you're going to see very clearly how to help your spouse be

[00:44:56] the very best person that they could be the best mother, the best father.

[00:45:01] And it's such an exciting journey because we knew each other first, right?

[00:45:07] Before we had kids.

[00:45:08] But this whole journey of evolving as a father, as a mother, it just, you're going to see so

[00:45:16] many different sides of your spouse and it's, it's beautiful.

[00:45:20] And even there's times when one of us is weak and you know, you know that you have to be a

[00:45:28] little bit stronger and carry the burden during those times.

[00:45:31] I have to, or you have to, or whoever is out there listening, you understand what I'm talking

[00:45:38] about.

[00:45:39] And it's, you, you're feeling it.

[00:45:42] Yeah.

[00:45:43] You understand.

[00:45:44] That's what's so great about having a partner, even in business, of course, in a relationship

[00:45:50] is that you guys make each other stronger.

[00:45:53] Yes.

[00:45:53] And that when one of you were down, and this is how I always felt with my partner too.

[00:45:58] And when, when we were growing Tap Out, when one of us were having a hard day, the other

[00:46:03] person would lift you, lift you up.

[00:46:05] That's right.

[00:46:05] And that's what you're meant to do.

[00:46:06] Or challenge each other too.

[00:46:08] You're meant to do that in a relationship.

[00:46:08] You're meant to do that in a relationship.

[00:46:09] And challenge each other.

[00:46:10] I think that's so important.

[00:46:11] And so that you both grow.

[00:46:12] And remember that it's not, it's not an attack.

[00:46:16] It's that they, I can't remember.

[00:46:19] Oh my gosh, I have to find the, the verse in the Bible, but it's not that they're attacking

[00:46:24] you.

[00:46:25] They want you to be better.

[00:46:26] Oh my gosh, I totally forgot.

[00:46:28] I forgot.

[00:46:29] I was reading it the other day, but I think I sent it to you.

[00:46:34] So guys, I'm sure we'll find it.

[00:46:37] We're, we're, we'll find it.

[00:46:39] We'll find it.

[00:46:40] We'll, we'll put it in the show notes.

[00:46:44] We'll put it in the show notes.

[00:46:45] Okay guys.

[00:46:46] Thank you guys.

[00:46:47] We're on Instagram.

[00:46:48] Yeah, we're worse.

[00:46:49] We're, we're fired.

[00:46:50] We're doing a late podcast again.

[00:46:53] He's getting the giggles.

[00:46:56] Okay.

[00:46:56] Okay.

[00:46:57] So remember, choose your battles wisely.

[00:46:59] It's important guys.

[00:47:01] You don't want to, and, and be good listeners for you guys out there.

[00:47:04] Be good listeners.

[00:47:05] It's, it's something that I had to learn.

[00:47:06] I internalized everything when you're running a big company and when you're in law enforcement,

[00:47:12] there were two, two things will make you internalize things worse than anybody in the

[00:47:18] world is being a police officer and running a big company.

[00:47:21] Those two things will make you just like internalize everything.

[00:47:24] And you're a wreck inside most of the time.

[00:47:27] Um, but you, you have to keep this face in front of everybody.

[00:47:31] Um, well in marriage, you can't do that.

[00:47:34] Yeah.

[00:47:34] I mean, to, in some extent, to some extent, but I feel like you'll grow apart because you're

[00:47:41] not being open.

[00:47:43] Open.

[00:47:44] I mean, there's a, there's better ways to explain it, but if you're, if you're sealing

[00:47:48] off your feelings, it's going to feel like, well, they're being secretive.

[00:47:53] They're not shit.

[00:47:54] I want to know everything about you so that I can help you be the very best person.

[00:48:00] I'm never going to judge you.

[00:48:01] You could tell me anything.

[00:48:04] It's only going to be, help me.

[00:48:07] And I know that I speak for the women out there.

[00:48:10] That's what we do.

[00:48:11] You lean on us.

[00:48:12] You tell us things you've never told anybody in life.

[00:48:17] And we're married.

[00:48:19] We're, this is what, this is, we are, we are one now.

[00:48:23] So nothing you can say could make me disrespect you, not like you, anything, any, any of those

[00:48:32] things.

[00:48:32] And I feel like sometimes people are afraid to fully reveal themselves, but we already know.

[00:48:41] That's the truth.

[00:48:42] You already know.

[00:48:43] That's the truth.

[00:48:43] Listen, I still don't like, I'll never, you know, when I'm, when I'm in my weakest moments,

[00:48:48] those are still things I don't want to reveal to you.

[00:48:51] But it's not weak.

[00:48:51] But I don't.

[00:48:52] I feel that.

[00:48:53] Can I just say this?

[00:48:54] I don't like to talk about those things.

[00:48:56] I, I speak for everyone.

[00:48:58] You already know when I'm there.

[00:49:00] Being, being, it's not a weakness.

[00:49:02] It's actually, it shows us women strength when you're able to, speaking gibberish, when

[00:49:12] you're able to reveal yourself and be that naked.

[00:49:18] Um, not naked, but you know what I mean?

[00:49:20] Is to be that, that transparent, that type of podcast.

[00:49:25] No, it's not.

[00:49:26] But to be that transparent, there's, there's a lot of strength in that.

[00:49:31] So I feel like we have these things in our head.

[00:49:35] Oh, if I cry or if I express this thing that bothered me years or whatever it is, that's

[00:49:41] a weakness.

[00:49:41] It's not.

[00:49:42] And I speak for every woman out there that it's not.

[00:49:47] So thank you guys for tuning in to this week's Pretty Bunk podcast.

[00:49:51] We hope you guys got something from it.

[00:49:53] We hope you, we hope we weren't too giggly today.

[00:49:57] Um, and we hope you guys got something from the podcast.

[00:50:00] So thank you guys for tuning in.

[00:50:02] We'll hope you got, we hope to catch you guys next week.

[00:50:04] We're never going to do a late podcast again, but sometimes you have to.

[00:50:08] We're done with it.

[00:50:08] Here it is.

[00:50:09] Here it is.

[00:50:10] Sometimes you just have to, you got to get it done and we love you and God bless you.

[00:50:15] Have the best week and share this with someone that needs it.

[00:50:19] God bless you.

[00:50:20] Have the best day.

[00:50:21] Have the best week.

[00:50:24] God bless you all.

[00:50:25] We'll see you guys next week.

[00:50:27] Thank you for listening to the Pretty Bunk podcast.

[00:50:31] We hope you enjoyed it.

[00:50:32] Make sure to like and subscribe.

[00:50:35] And don't forget the message this week.

[00:50:38] Choose your battles wisely.

[00:50:41] God bless.

[00:50:42] Love you.

[00:50:43] Thank you guys for listening to the Pretty Bunk podcast.

[00:50:48] I really appreciate that you listened.

[00:50:51] Now, if you can, we make sure you share it with someone you love.

[00:50:57] Hope to see you guys next week.

[00:50:59] Have a great week.