Avoiding Distractions in a Distracted World: How to Avoid Shiny Object Syndrome

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Be close to them and include your kids give them that sense of responsibility so they could feel proud of themselves for learning these new things.

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, school is great but I feel like so much stuff is missing from school.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_01]: They don't know how to open a bank account. They don't know how to negotiate alone.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_01]: They don't know how to purchase a vehicle. They don't know how to do these things.

[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Bring your children to these things. Are you buying a home right now?

[00:00:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Let them hear the negotiations because one day they're going to have to speak that language.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_01]: And if they're green, they're going to get taken.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Uh... no.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's better, right babe?

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah!

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_04]: She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_01]: He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_04]: She ticked the World by storm as a social media star.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_01]: He took the World by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Together we started the business and had babies.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggle.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_04]: As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_03]: And everything in between.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_03]: Always remember, you're focused to turn into reality.

[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_03]: Cloth by George Lucas.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't focus what I'm up against.

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I am focused on my goals.

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_02]: We'll give up rest.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Cloth by Venus and really.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Welcome to another episode of the Pretty Punk podcast.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_04]: My name is Dan Kaltwell and I'm here with my beautiful co-host and wife.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_01]: You're the co-host and how are you guys doing?

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_04]: We have another great podcast for you guys today.

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_04]: And we're talking about, we all got a purpose in our lives.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_04]: We feel so strongly about this on our podcast.

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_04]: It's really the whole reason why we created this podcast is we feel so strongly that everybody in this world has a purpose in this life.

[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_04]: And a God-given purpose in this life.

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_04]: And that it's so easy with all the things that are going on in the world, with social media, with friends and relatives and everything that's going on in your life.

[00:02:31] [SPEAKER_04]: It's so easy to be distracted.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's what we want to talk about today is how not to be distracted when you're on your way to your God-given purpose.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_01]: There's so much noise out there and you need to figure out the technique on how to turn it down.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_04]: And we'll jump into that as soon as we get back from this.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of The Pretty Punk podcast and if you are and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button,

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_04]: it just takes a second and means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_04]: To more listeners like you guys and you know anybody it might help and you can send us them.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_04]: We really appreciate that too.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: We also love and appreciate your reviews even the babies look forward to them every day.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01]: We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent and business.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_01]: And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: That's worth a shout out.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Together we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_01]: And we just want to put it out there.

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_01]: We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible and you are our family and we're so proud and grateful to have you apart of this family.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01]: So don't forget the sh... all the links are below in the show notes.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And thank you again and let's get back to the show.

[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_01]: You need to be able to identify the noise before it pulls you away from your God, given destiny, your family.

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_01]: You have the power of what you let in your mind because each day is a gift.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Each day is a gift and if you allow that noise to stir things up and cause you to get overwhelmed and cause this distance going to the end of the day.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you're not on your family, you're not going to have the peace.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Peace is power and you have to have that peace because that's how you can hear God and his purpose to you.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_01]: His purpose for you.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_01]: He has a very still small voice and sometimes it's a whisper.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01]: So you need to be able to identify that noise and turn it down.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_01]: That's right.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And I think it's so easy today as we kind of said at the beginning of the show is that it's so easy with social media and you know people's best friends and family and cousins and whoever that might be and just people in your life.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_04]: If you might be, if you have a regular job, you have people at your job that are trying to pull you, you know.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01]: They may have to run a career man.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You want to say they want you to set it the table and they want you to listen.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes it's a negative talk and it's complaining and you really feel anxious being there.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_01]: I know that this happens to a lot of women that we talk to and you, you know, you coach a lot of men.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel that it's the same thing.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_01]: They're not these people.

[00:05:40] [SPEAKER_01]: They feel that there's this negative talk and there's this talk that it's just not their mindset.

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, maybe you need to pull away and not have those lunches.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Do something different until you can get into what we feel and what we talk about is your God given destiny.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I understand sometimes you don't have the luxury of jumping into that because you're trying to fund this new business with your family and people may not see the vision that you have.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's another thing surround yourself with the people that have the same vision as you.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Because dangerous to surround your people yourself with people that don't.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, it's late at night.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think there's lots of times you know you can have people at your job.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_04]: We want to take you, you know, it starts with, oh, let's go get a beer after work or something, you know, and then you're, you're, if you're vulnerable to that.

[00:06:35] [SPEAKER_04]: And you feel like, oh, I need, you know, I want to, you want to please me.

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, you don't want to face people.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, my job.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe it's your boss or something, you know what you're like, you're thinking, oh, I want to be a good employee, you know, I want them to like me.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_04]: So I'm going to go do this or I'm going to go hang out.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, if you're, if you can be influenced that much by somebody, you feel like, you know, what else can they do?

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_04]: What a how else can they do?

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_04]: That's scary.

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_04]: And so, you know, I love Bruce Lee.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_04]: I think Bruce Lee said, as you think, so shall you become.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, Daniel's done that quote before and I've always loved that quote because I think it was so ahead of its time.

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_04]: It's so true right now.

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's biblical in a way.

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It's very biblical like if you study the Bible, it's 100% true.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_04]: And it's never more important than right now when you're talking about with all the social media and all the influence that are coming into people's lives.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_04]: So easy to be one, be taking, taking away from your purpose, your goal, the things that you're trying to do in your life.

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_04]: Because you, it's hard, you know, I hear about these people doing, you know, they're all I'm doing this and I'm doing that and I'm golfing.

[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm, you know, how do you have that much time in your life that you have enough time to not only spend time with your family, but also run your business.

[00:08:01] [SPEAKER_04]: And, you know, whatever else things you have to do around the house, all the other things you have to do around the house.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_04]: And, and you still have enough time to go do this and go do that and go drink it with the boys and go hanging out with your friends at the, at the concert.

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_04]: How do you have that much time in your life?

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I have the loads are the same marriages that are falling apart and it seems like a business is failing.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: If you love golf, take your wife golfing. I know a couple that just started golfing and that was their, their bond that really brought them closer and another couple that we just talked to dancing brought them closer.

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_01]: She loved dancing. He wasn't sure about it and he ended up falling in love with it. And same with the golfing couple, but he says he's opened, you know, it's a, it's a little bit problematic because now she's buying all these golf outfits.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's becoming expensive.

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I mean, I could see, you know, if you like golf and you're going to go golfing, you know, here and there with your friend or whatever that's fine.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_04]: But you got to watch where all your attention is going because you only have so much attention in, you know, in a day.

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_04]: And so many hours in the day and you are chasing something and people need to have more sense of, you know, of this urgency.

[00:09:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you have to realize you have a destiny to fuel and in a minute here it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel like you're going to come to the end of your life.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_01]: But I mean, God willing, you live a long, long life, right?

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: But could you imagine if you wasted that life and you're in there and you had this God given purpose, because we all do.

[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_01]: But then he's going to say to you, I gave you these gifts. I gave you the time. I gave you the purpose. What did you do with it?

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_04]: And what you kept getting distracted. I didn't have enough time.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Are you kept getting distracted? I told you to go this way, but you kept picking up the phone or you kept, you know what I mean, you're getting distracted.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_01]: You kept saying yes to the thing that I told you so clearly to say no to and you failed that test and you failed the other test and you failed this test.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that would be a terrible, I mean, that would be terrible. That would be a terrible feeling.

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I was wondering what you messed up. What do you, what do you do?

[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, what do you do if you are at odds? Because you're being pulled in two different directions with your family and your business and you're feeling like

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_04]: your family is, you know, you want to be with your family but your business is pulling your different direction. You're feeling like your purpose is your family and your business because you know you love both of those things.

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_04]: How do you feel like you kind of bring those two things together?

[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, for me obviously God comes first and then the spouse and then the kids and I, I've always known that I wanted to build something with you.

[00:11:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that was something that we've always planned on doing. And then when the kids came into the picture.

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It was very clear. I mean, before kids, I thought, oh, have a nanny and there nobody's looking after my kids. This is the most precious thing. Nobody is touching.

[00:11:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Nobody is coming to look after it. No, I remember having these conversations with you.

[00:11:45] [SPEAKER_04]: I do remember it was very good. You're not going to do the nanny.

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think it's kind of flipped now. Now I'm like we need a nanny and you and you're saying we're not having a nanny.

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Just the world is getting so crazy that this is the most precious thing to us in more precious than, you know, as I say, more precious than any jewels anything.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I am very careful. I need to make sure that these people think like us, talk like us, eat like us because again, I don't want the noise or the enemy.

[00:12:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I could never forgive myself if something happened and just in my gut it just doesn't feel right. If the right person comes, I'm sure that all feel it but I just, I don't have those people in my life that I trust like that.

[00:12:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I would trust my mom with my kids, but you know, she's in heaven now watching down over us.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I watched a horrible video yesterday. It's a little bit off topic at side tracking.

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_04]: But there's kids listening. I know. I was just a, it was just a lady on her, you know, it was like one of the cameras in your house and it was filming her screaming over the phone.

[00:12:59] [SPEAKER_01]: No. I saw that one. I know is it the sleepover?

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no, no. No. No. No. It's off, it's off subject, but this is it. No, no, no, no.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_01]: There will be no sleepovers. Our children understand it. They respect it.

[00:13:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, because her daughter died during the sleepover at some point.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Right, because you don't have any control there and she answered the phone and she was just, my heart just dropped.

[00:13:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I could not imagine because what if she had that gut feeling, that gut feeling where she said no honey. I don't really feel good about you going.

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_01]: But mom, please, please, please. And the noise is coming in and then after I got goosebumps all over this is just it's hard to talk about because I know a lot of times in my life when things have happened.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like there was, there was something telling me not to do it. Yes, and I, and I knew I should have, I knew it.

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I knew it. I just knew it and I could tell by the way that she was screaming this gutter role that she knew that it wasn't a good idea.

[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_01]: But, and that's a thing that is it's not totally off topic because these things where you know when your marriage falls apart or you just didn't listen to the, you didn't have the self control

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_01]: or your husband didn't have the self control you guys didn't work on the mayor advice. First of whatever it is, you guys didn't work on the things you knew you had to work on and the thing happens and you just knew it.

[00:14:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You knew exactly when and where that marriage started going downhill or when you lost that connection with your children.

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_01]: You got to also understand like where do I want my relationship to be with my kids in 10 years and that's the way, and then you got to identify what are the things that I need to do every single day to have that relationship in 10 years.

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_01]: So make sure that you're not getting distracted by your phone or your work or if you do have a job, let's bring it back to what you were asking me. If you do have this job or this business find out a way to include your wife. Don't be leaning into some other, you know woman or even friends at work and just be so connected with them that you forget to counsel your spouse, your husband or your wife at home.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Be close to them and include your kids give them that sense of responsibility so they could feel proud of themselves for learning these new things.

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean school is great but I feel like so much stuff is missing from school. They don't know how to open a bank account, they don't know how to negotiate alone, they don't know how to purchase a vehicle, they don't know how to do these things.

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Bring your children to these things, are you buying a home right now? Let them hear the negotiations because one day they're going to have to speak that language.

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And if they're green they're going to get taken. I was in there every single appointment with my mom, my mom wanted me to learn and I remember going to school saying, I don't need this. I remember telling my teacher.

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_01]: She said, you're told me that I was going to get a bad mark or something nice. I don't care because I'm going to have a business. I was a little bit.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You know just outspoken. He said, well what are you going to do for work? And I said, well my mom has a jewelry store so I'm going to be a jeweler.

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I already know how to do this. She doesn't even need to be there. I was so confident, but then again, life took a blow at us and we had that.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm strawberry and I wasn't ever going to be a jeweler because of the traumatic stress syndrome after, but we started investing in real estate with that money.

[00:17:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And I bought my first home at 16. A lot of people can't say that. I bought my first commercial building in at 21 because we were my mom was an excellent negotiator.

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_01]: And I wouldn't know how to negotiate in the businesses that came into my life if I wouldn't have watched my mom. So my advice is you were saying to anyone out there is include your children.

[00:17:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Bring them to the events. Bring them to whatever you're learning. It's so sad to see these couples where the, maybe it's the woman that goes off to these entrepreneurial events and husband stays home or vice versa.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: So the, the wife stays home with the kids. Bring them they're all going to have an experience because when you come home and you're all excited and they're overwhelmed because they're just there with the kids and they've been missing you and they were hoping that you called but you didn't call and that's going to cause resentment. It's going to pull you as a part.

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_01]: If you keep doing it often enough, it's going to hurt your marriage. But I feel like our community understands this and they include right.

[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Right. I mean that's what we're trying to do. Like we were just talking about how Daniel, you know, sitting in our phone calls, you know, some negotiations I was dealing with with somebody in business and you know how.

[00:18:45] [SPEAKER_01]: You're just talking and it's a poor ten. Right. You do very high end consulting with people all over the world and it's so cool for him to be able to sit here and listen to it and then ask questions, where was he was in Australia? He was in Dubai.

[00:19:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Wow. And just ask the quiet it is an open book because that that is learning. Yeah, and the most of them.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I should just ask you this because I'll tell you the big one, the big one. I think one of the big ones are is that we as entrepreneurs are so susceptible to shiny objects syndrome to the next to this business. There's a very you know fine line.

[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I already have the answer. Between you know, there's always something that comes at you that it's a fine line between something that can help you.

[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, that's like maybe a part of the business or can help your overall family, you know, might not be directly exactly what you're doing and whatever you're doing, whatever you feel like your purposes right now.

[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_04]: It might not be that exact thing, but maybe it's a side project that helps you bring in whatever whatever that might be. And I don't disagree with them.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I do like determine this is an easy answer for me. So say if someone came to me and it was just sparkly and just diamonds and rubies and you're going to make millions and millions and millions.

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_01]: You if they were diamond is a movie. Is that like where'd you go? That's not true. But what I'm saying is if it's if it's incredibly abundant and so crazy, you got to step back, turn down the volume and just is this is this going to pull me away from my family does this person that is offering me this potential abundance of

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_01]: money and opportunity. What is their mindset? What does their marriage look like? What is their relationship look with their look like with their spouse? Is it solid? How is their relationship with their kids?

[00:20:56] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't care how much money you're offering me. If that person doesn't have the same values, the same end goal, I cannot, I can't dance with you.

[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Are they when they call me? Are they including my husband or are they like, hey, let's just let's go. Let's do this. Are they including my family? Are they including my children? Are they including my spouse? These are easy for me because when they include the people that I love because it's going to be a deep investment for you.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be a deep investment for you every single that you're going to be talking to this person. This person is going to be altering your mindset eventually, whether you like it or not because who used to round yourself with is who you're going to become.

[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_01]: So you have to be so careful. There's tons of opportunity out there, but I don't want to say it, but you know influences and negative forces will come in and tempt you.

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_01]: They don't wait into your folder. Yes, he doesn't. He doesn't come and make you do things. He knows what you're attracted to and he will put those things in front of you like carrots and you're going to do it yourself.

[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_01]: And then when you've gone to far, he's going to say, well, you could have said no.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I mean, it's too late. Psychological reasons why we find ourselves in those situations because.

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Coming in time when you know, maybe you're not your wife is exhausted. She's overstimulated. You're not being intimate and the way that you wish and then something will come into the picture and tempt you either through, you know, your phone or.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Engagement somewhere in a, I don't know, groceries or coffee shop. I mean, these things happen all the time. We hear it all the time and I was just lonely and I felt like that's the enemy putting that carrot there or maybe you're not doing well financially and something will, you know, come into your life, but it's not with a solid or good group of people.

[00:23:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And it again is going to need it, but you need it. You need it because you need to support your family and you need to support your loved ones and your wife is or has been or whoever whatever is complaining about they don't have enough money and it's like, well, I did it because you're complaining about this we barely have enough money to eat, but you went the wrong way and you're going to have to answer to someone someday.

[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_01]: We've all, you know, made, we've all made mistakes, but now is the time to be so careful. We are not hearing this podcast by accident. You could be being tempted right now by some kind of force and this is just your, you know what yeah, you know, this isn't it's not in my alignment of what I believe this is definitely going to pull me out.

[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't, this isn't God speaking. This is the enemy speaking and you need to be able to just understand if it's right for your life or wrong for your life and that's why you have to shut the noise down turn it down so you can really understand where you need to be in life. It's not easy guys.

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, none of it's easy and I think honestly, I mean for me, I would you know, I and probably a lot more in this part of my life than maybe early when I was first starting my career.

[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_04]: I think we're very young now.

[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I got pulled I got pulled into a lot of stuff that oh yeah, I know you're the one who was wrong because you know what I said I don't have this I think can be really bad.

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, things were really bad, but did I ever have anxiety? No because I felt like I was on the right path. But when I was on the wrong path, I had anxiety and like this.

[00:25:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I think I was in comfortable in my skin and so when I was so when I was younger, I was I would when things were coming at me. I didn't know what the right thing was I was trying to find my way in the world.

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I was trying to find the right business the right way where I was going to go as an entrepreneur.

[00:25:38] [SPEAKER_01]: But you didn't feel the peace that you felt now things can be upside down and I remember pictures now built a company, you know, that's worth a hundred million dollars.

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_04]: So when you've done that you get a little more comfortable in your own skin. You start to realize that you see this before.

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_01]: We've been in bad positions in different things even, especially with you know the health that's scary.

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_01]: And I mean, you're going through stuff. I was going through stuff with you know illness in the family taking care of parents and you should have you think you think you'd have more anxiety

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and we're just talking about this the other day. I'll give you the example because you guys can't read my mind. So I was telling Dan how when my I was always scared of this and my I'm a very strong person but my mom was always very scared if she were to get very ill or even pass

[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_01]: because we've had a lot of trauma in our life and when she got robbed at gunpoint I didn't react very well to that.

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I pretty much, what could not go into the store because I didn't want to see her, you know, the lady told me that went into the store before and saw my mom.

[00:27:12] [SPEAKER_01]: She said that she wasn't going to make it and I just remember standing on the street and crying and people strangers were holding me.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_01]: And she just was worried that if something tragic were to happen to her in the future that I wouldn't be able to handle it.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER_01]: And somehow by the grace of God when all this stuff was happening and you had to go back to work right and I was making, I mean before she even passed I had to make a lot of hard decisions and I couldn't have done it without God.

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't have done it and to have that kind of strength and even when she passed I was dealing with all of it, all of it by myself.

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And on top of that I had two little babies. I was still nursing. I'd to pull over in the car to nurse my baby while I'm going through this stuff and I just, I just felt this, this armor of God and this just love.

[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_01]: It was hard, hard, hard but I never felt so strong and I even felt like my mom was looking down on me just so proud with all the things that I was going through.

[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_01]: So I just feel like in our life, yes we're in different places and when you have that when you turn down the noise and you just really listen to the voice of God he will lead you.

[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_01]: He will carry you because I shouldn't have been walking at that point. I was so scared if anything ever happens to my mom, I'm gonna, I feel like I'm gonna have an nervous breakdown. Like she is my everything.

[00:28:56] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember those conversations.

[00:28:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I can't live without her even my mom when she was very, very, very sick. I remember her crying like, no don't leave it to me. No, no, no, please I don't want you guys because he had to go back to work and

[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and then he's like well why don't you just stay with your mom and she's just was so scared that she didn't want us apart because it's God forbid something happened to her.

[00:29:24] [SPEAKER_01]: She didn't want me to break down and just be in a state which is understandable where someone's parent dies.

[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_01]: You don't know how they're going to respond. So she was always very, very scared of you always have to be. You always have to be with her. You need to be there with her. You don't understand what happened when I got robbed.

[00:29:57] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't have a choice to be weak and I couldn't be weak for my kids. It was the hardest thing but I had to be strong.

[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that was definitely a hard time and I know we, I mean it caused a lot of strife between us too because we were having a hard time dealing with this whole situation.

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and it's not always going to be easy. It's not always going to be easy but I'll tell you know what too we didn't talk about this, but you know discernment through prayer is so important.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_04]: So you said something I would use. I used so much today. Probably a lot less in my earlier part of my life and I use it so much today and I wish I would have discovered it more.

[00:30:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know what it is. You know what it is. You know what I think that it is is that when maybe when we were younger we only prayed when maybe we were getting into.

[00:30:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, you know what I'm saying? I didn't expect an answer. That's why that was where I was.

[00:30:57] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you got to be from the answer. Yeah, I mean I would I would pray out loud when I was driving or something. You know please God please.

[00:31:07] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not pleased. Don't let me lose everything. Right. And I was I was I just never expected an answer like I do now and I feel like when you expect an answer, you get an answer.

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_01]: And maybe that's the difference because we are so faithful in prayer and I'm telling you guys just try it.

[00:31:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Every morning every night and sometimes in between, especially when I was going going through it, going through the diagnosis and all of it.

[00:31:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you, I was never happier. I was never happier. It was amazing. I'm telling you like they're they're they're if you're not sure if you're a believer just lean into him lean into him with everything because he was I

[00:32:01] [SPEAKER_01]: I can't tell you how else I did it, but he was the he was the way I didn't have babies. I couldn't get pregnant and then he gave me these miracle babies in the perfect timing.

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_01]: First when my mom had this he word and she was very sick. I had a little baby there and I had hope because again, if I think if I wouldn't have had those kids, I probably would have to break down then definitely have a break down but I had this beautiful little baby first born was a son and it was just crazy.

[00:32:44] [SPEAKER_01]: My brother, he passed away and I always felt that missing void and then I have this beautiful little bell-lessing that even when I would watch my mother

[00:32:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Interact and mothers you know, you know what I'm talking about when you see your parents interacting with your little baby.

[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_00]: They're relieving the memories that they had with you and you were a baby and that's what I could see that was so healing for my mom because she lost her baby boy

[00:33:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and then I had this baby boy it was just such a healing and beautiful beautiful experience. So, I mean maybe you guys never had anything tragic like that but what a miracle to be able to see your parents

[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_01]: just relive those beautiful memories that they never thought that they'd get the gift of again. That connection, that they're having it's bringing back all those memories and I could see it in her and I could see the just I was just it was just a miracle nothing could have been better

[00:33:54] [SPEAKER_01]: and then I had two little loving babies while I was dealing with my issue. I don't, I couldn't have done that without them. I didn't even need pain killers the way I should have had.

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_01]: God is so good.

[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_04]: And I'll tell you what, you know, I think one of the other things too when I've noticed that's helped me when I get into a situation where I'm getting distracted or I feel like maybe I'm getting, you know, something's pulling me away from what I know I should be doing.

[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. And I think that, and that's just re-dedicating yourself to whatever you're supposed to be doing.

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_04]: So, whatever that is, whatever you're trying to do, be closer to God, be, you know, get further into your business. If you reclarify your purpose, you know, the things that you really because it's so easy for you to even in this podcast, you know, you get we get kind of like sometimes we got to like wake ourselves up

[00:34:57] [SPEAKER_04]: because, you know, we're doing the podcast every week and we're, you know, always coming up with ideas for the podcast and things that we want to do. And but it's easy if you let yourself, you could get, it could be monotonous to you. You can just back up just another podcast and other podcast and other podcast and then you stretch yourself.

[00:35:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Right, but do you feel like the blessing is the confirmation of people that need to hear the message? I feel like when you've been through the things that we've been through sometimes.

[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_01]: That's the blessing because we have the, we have the blueprint on how to get out of what we were going through in your struggles with the business.

[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_01]: My, how I got to where I got to the commitment and the strength and the things that I had to do to overcome the, you know, the illness. It wasn't it wasn't just it wasn't just prayer and okay, God will take care of it.

[00:35:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, there is that part because God can heal in the blink of an eye. But I think for myself, my healing journey it went deeper than that.

[00:36:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I had to have the mindset and do the, and God will give you the messages on what you have to do. I had to cut a lot of things out of my life. I knew it. I knew that there was, I knew I had to start doing research on the things that I was putting in my body.

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, it is coming to life all the poison in our food and a lot of people don't even know that and the learning it. My goodness I was poisoning my children, all the micro plastics in the water and all this stuff that's coming to light will.

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_01]: For me, I felt like it was time to really study these things and try to figure out what led me to illness and what led the people around me. I refused to work with people.

[00:36:55] [SPEAKER_01]: And that can't just, I guess, investigate deeply and just have an open mind of changing things around them. Yes, you're going to have to stop drinking. Yes, you're going to have to eat different

[00:37:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're going to have to do these things. And if you're not willing to do that, I can't give you advice. I'm sorry because things are going to have to change and it's not always going to be easy. Life is hard

[00:37:20] [SPEAKER_01]: and God, even the Bible says that things are going to be hard, but if you trust in Him, He will lead you through. So there it is.

[00:37:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I think that I don't know if, I mean some of those things cutting things out of your life too is important. So that made things

[00:37:38] [SPEAKER_04]: people that get too many. The state focus, do you need to stay focused and there's things that you need to cut out of your life to keep you focused? Yes.

[00:37:47] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, there were points of people music. We were working on some stuff and I used to play a lot of chess, you know, so and I was like, you know, I can't do everything.

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_04]: So I had to severely cut down my chess games because I was playing so much chess that it would give me, you know, I was like, oh, am I going to become a professional chess player? No, I don't think so.

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_04]: So I need to cut down my games of chess and start concentrating on what's more important here. And so now I obviously play a lot less games of chess.

[00:38:19] [SPEAKER_04]: But that was important for me. So I had to cut that out of my life, you know, to really to get focus again. I think it's a refocusing by, you know, clarify your purpose, clarify it to yourself.

[00:38:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes.

[00:38:31] [SPEAKER_04]: And is this still what I believe is my purpose in my life? Should I, am I still going down the right path? Am I still doing the right things in my life? Do I need to be, you know, is this what I need to be doing right now?

[00:38:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Right.

[00:38:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And open up and speak to your spouse so they can hold you accountable. And sometimes it may feel like an attack, but nobody knows you better. I mean, your parents, they have to love you.

[00:38:57] [SPEAKER_01]: That's your your mom and your brother and sister and father. They have to love you. But your spouse loves you for you.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And I feel like your spouse is actually part of your assignment on this earth. God assigned your spouse to you because they're going to test you in ways, and they're going to lead you in ways.

[00:39:21] [SPEAKER_01]: And of course, if your spouse is going down a bad, you know, taking a bad turn, you can't just say, okay, well, I'm going to go with them. No, you have to put the breaks on, turn down the music for them. Sometimes you're the one that's going to save them.

[00:39:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, right. Another practice I think that is super important and this is good for all entrepreneurs as you got to learn to say no.

[00:39:49] [SPEAKER_04]: There's going to be so much that's going to come at you and you can't be everything to everybody and there, you know, as much as you want to, as much as you want to be able to do this fundraiser over here and attend this thing over there and be there for this over here.

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_04]: Right. Beyond all the phone calls, you're not going to be able to do that. And so one, one of the things that you need to do is learn how to say no.

[00:40:14] [SPEAKER_04]: It's just such an important part of being an entrepreneurs. You should be saying no more a lot more than you're saying yes.

[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, absolutely. And definitely when you do say yes, make sure again, like we mentioned before that they have the same vision and goal that it's going to be.

[00:40:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Does it make sense for what you're trying to accomplish? Is it something that again, can you bring your family to this or can you break some rules and include your children in this is this going to bring you guys closer together build you guys as a family build your family.

[00:40:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry business. It is so late.

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, that was a great podcast. I think all this stuff is important and everything that is, you know, a distraction you can it's like sometimes you don't realize you got distractions in front of you and to you hear something like this and start evaluating your life.

[00:41:11] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's what you should be doing is evaluating your long-term life. What do your big goals, your big audacious goals that are going to take you the next 10 years or 20 years to fulfill start evaluating are these things that are coming into your life right now. Are they directing you towards that purpose of yours towards that goal of yours?

[00:41:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Or are they distractions? Or are they going to take you off to the writer to left away from where you're trying to go?

[00:41:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I love that. The mindful awareness of boundaries recognizing when things are distracting and pulling you away from where you know you know you need to be.

[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_01]: And then the number two or create daily non-negotiable and family times. I think that that's really important too. Did we go over?

[00:42:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. Okay, I saw this. This look on your face.

[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_01]: But okay, just to wrap it up, you know, creating those non-negotiable family times. We're nothing steps in the way. You need to let your family know that they are a priority.

[00:42:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Never let them feel the resentment. Sometimes you know, sometimes you're going to have to take time away. You're going to have to do certain things.

[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_01]: But there's a way to make it up when you get back. Really have that one on one time really connect and also ask the questions what was difficult when I was away.

[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_01]: What could we do different? How can we work on this to make it better? I know that you were really overwhelmed. You're, you look like you've been losing it. How can I help you so that we can avoid that?

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Do you want to come with me next time? You were talking about that, say if you have a trip to China giving the option.

[00:43:01] [SPEAKER_04]: You don't want to go to China. I just have to go to China all the time. I don't want to go to China. It's a long flight.

[00:43:08] [SPEAKER_04]: It's a long flight. I was going, wasn't always the best place to go.

[00:43:13] [SPEAKER_01]: But I think now that we have children, it would be a good life lesson and an experience. Rather than three days we take a week and we learn what we can and do different things.

[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_01]: And the number three, of course we love this one. Anchor in your values and faith. Nothing is more important when you start to feel that feeling if I don't know if it's right.

[00:43:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe it could pull me away. Please just pray about it. Maybe you're new to your faith journey. Just pray about it. Turn down the volume.

[00:43:50] [SPEAKER_01]: And as I said, that voice is quiet. Sometimes it's just a whisper. But if you turn down the volume, you will feel it. Do you agree?

[00:43:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not a person. You will feel it. We told you prayer is so powerful. There's this story recently that I'm going to tell it on the podcast at some point.

[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_04]: But such an incredible story about how prayer works and unbelievable, nobody can ever take that away for me.

[00:44:19] [SPEAKER_04]: No one will ever be able to tell me the prayer doesn't work because that is underprivileged in possibility.

[00:44:24] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey guys, thank you for turning into this week's Pretty Impunk podcast. I hope you guys got something from the podcast as we love you so much.

[00:44:32] [SPEAKER_04]: And we'll see you guys next week.

[00:44:34] [SPEAKER_01]: God bless you. Have the best week.

[00:44:38] [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you so much for listening to the Pudding Impunk podcast. Make sure to hit that subscribe button. It would be a giant help and please hit that like button.

[00:44:49] [SPEAKER_03]: Make sure to join us next week on the Pretty Impunk podcast. We have some very good episode coming up. God bless you.

[00:44:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Thank you so much for listening today. I hope you expect what I would join out of Pudding Punk podcast.

[00:45:07] [SPEAKER_02]: Have an amazing week. I'll see you next time. Don't forget to show your friends about the script.

[00:45:15] [SPEAKER_02]: So this is our full chance and we will be able to don't forget to love and have a good successful love you. God bless you.