Ep 148 The Things The Most Successful Entreprenures Will NOT Tell You about Pressure!
In this episode of the "Pretty and Punk Podcast," co-hosts Ildiko Ferenczi and Dan Caldwell delve into the often-untalked-about realities of handling immense pressure in life. Whether you are a parent, entrepreneur, or navigating the complexities of marriage, this episode speaks directly to the heart of those experiences. Dan and Ildiko candidly share their personal journeys through challenging times, including coping with grief, the responsibilities of entrepreneurship, and the nuances of family dynamics.
Listeners will find a treasure trove of wisdom as the two discuss how pressure, much like that which turns coal into diamonds, can be a transformative force in our lives. They touch upon the importance of resilience, the beauty of emerging stronger through trials, and how to find strength in the most trying of circumstances. This episode also explores the impact of pressure on relationships and the critical role of a supportive community during tough times.
With their characteristic blend of warmth and honesty, Dan and Ildiko offer not just stories but also practical advice for anyone feeling the weight of life’s pressures. They remind us that while the journey may be hard, it is also an opportunity for incredible growth and transformation.
Tune in to this episode of the "Pretty and Punk Podcast" for a heartfelt discussion that will leave you inspired.
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00:00:00
You'll never know how strong you
are until being strong is your
00:00:04
only option. Oh my gosh. And it's so true.
00:00:08
When you have that pressure on you,
00:00:10
you sometimes learn a lot about
yourself that you didn't know.
00:00:15
You didn't know you could deal with
that type of pressure you didn't know.
00:00:18
You could go through this and
come out on the other side better.
00:00:30
No. Oh, that's better, right, babe? Yeah.
00:00:37
Yeah. She founded an
architectural concrete company.
00:00:42
He founded a hundred million
dollars clothing company.
00:00:45
She took the world by storm
as a social media star.
00:00:48
He took the world by storm as
a famous serial entrepreneur.
00:00:52
Together we started a.
00:00:53
Business and had babies.
00:00:55
Now we're figuring out
the best ways to do both.
00:00:57
Join us as we learn from other
entrepreneurs going through the same life
00:01:02
struggles.
00:01:02
As they share their life,
hacks about success, love.
00:01:06
Kids, and everything in between.
00:01:08
All that matters is the
pressure you put on yourself.
00:01:12
While you can't control
what happens to you,
00:01:16
you can control how you
react, quote by John Wooden.
00:01:23
Pleasure makes beautiful diamond.
00:01:27
Welcome to this episode of
the Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:01:30
My name is Dan Caldwell.
00:01:33
And I'm, I.
00:01:35
See. I'll let you do it this time.
00:01:36
Dan's beautiful wife.
00:01:38
Wife, my beautiful. And I'm
here with my beautiful wife.
00:01:40
I'm sorry I forgot to say that,
but it's always true. My handsome.
00:01:44
I usually say it, so it's always true.
But we have another great episode,
00:01:48
and I really think it's another important
episode because it's something that we
00:01:53
all go through more.
00:01:57
So if you're listening to this podcast,
00:01:58
I'm not saying you have to be a
parent or you have to be married,
00:02:02
or you have to be an entrepreneur.
00:02:05
But for those of you who
are those things who are
00:02:09
dealing with those three things and
not that other people don't go through
00:02:13
pressures too, and you do, everybody does,
00:02:16
but the pressures of dealing
with those three things can be
00:02:21
so immense.
00:02:24
It can be something that can really
take you down or you can use it to
00:02:29
build you up. But before we
jump into that, hey guys,
00:02:33
we hope you're enjoying today's
episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:02:36
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00:02:40
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00:02:41
It means so much to us because it really
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00:02:45
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00:02:48
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00:02:52
We also love and appreciate
your reviews, even the babies,
00:02:56
look forward to them every day.
00:02:58
If you share this episode on social
media today, don't forget to tag us.
00:03:03
We want to celebrate you because we
know it's not easy being a parent in
00:03:07
business and the way that
you juggle things makes you
a superhero that's worth a
00:03:11
shout out. Together, we have a community
of our personal followers as well,
00:03:16
and we just want to put it out there.
00:03:18
We want to show everybody
that this juggle is possible,
00:03:22
and you are our family
and we're so proud and
00:03:26
grateful to have you
a part of this family.
00:03:30
So don't forget all the links
are below in the show notes.
00:03:36
Thank you again. And let's
get back to the show.
00:03:38
Somewhere deep within a mountain,
somewhere there's a piece of coal,
00:03:44
unaware of its potential,
00:03:46
going through immense
pressure for thousands and
00:03:51
thousands of years.
00:03:54
And one day that piece of coal will
be transformed into beautiful diamond.
00:03:58
And just like a diamond is
formed under immense pressure,
00:04:02
we too can grow and to
develop into our character
00:04:07
through challenging times. And real quick,
00:04:10
the Bible reminds us in James
00:04:13
1, 2, 4, consider it pure joy,
00:04:18
my brothers and sisters,
00:04:19
whenever you face trials of many kinds,
00:04:23
because you know that the
testing of your faith produces
00:04:28
perseverance,
00:04:29
let perseverance finish
its work so that you may be
00:04:34
mature and complete, not lacking anything.
00:04:37
So people embrace pressure
as an opportunity to
00:04:42
become a stronger and to become
stronger and more resilient. There.
00:04:46
Let me spit it out.
00:04:48
But I feel like it's such
a gift to have pressure.
00:04:52
It doesn't feel like it in the
time that it's coming at us.
00:04:56
And I encourage you, I
mean, just right now,
00:04:59
close your eyes and think
about the times that you had
00:05:04
pressure. Okay,
00:05:07
what did it do to you?
Did it destroy you?
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And there's no sin in that.
There's no shame in that.
00:05:13
Did it destroy you or did it propel you?
00:05:17
Because we want your mindset
and the way that you look at
00:05:22
pressure to look at it as a gift no matter
00:05:27
how hard it is.
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I remember last year was one
00:05:33
of the hardest times I thought
it was going through my health
00:05:37
challenge.
00:05:39
And that's left to me in a way
where there's challenge almost
00:05:43
every day because of the way
that the surgery left me.
00:05:47
But my husband had to
go out of the country to
00:05:52
work, and I had these two little ones.
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And I remember just in
the back of my mind,
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fearing
00:06:03
one day if I were to lose the
most important person to me,
00:06:07
I already lost my brother.
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But I didn't even know what
would happen to me emotionally.
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And this was before I had kids, before
I was married, if I ever lost my mom.
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And I think that a lot of
people can relate to that.
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If they've had gone through
a divorce like their main
00:06:27
parent, if they ever lost that person,
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I really thought that I wouldn't be
emotionally strong enough to deal with it.
00:06:36
But here I am now trying
to get an autopsy,
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trying to run the whole thing,
everything on my shoulders,
00:06:45
and I have to support my husband.
He has to go back to work.
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And I am by myself with two kids.
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And I just don't know how I did it,
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but I did it fighting for the autopsy,
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having these two little babies and
dealing with the hardest thing ever.
00:07:07
I was sad. I'm not going
to lie. I broke down.
00:07:11
And many times I had to navigate
the grief of my children too.
00:07:16
They were very close to their grandmother,
00:07:19
and we would sometimes cry
together. But it was just this,
00:07:26
I don't want to say that it's was
a beautiful journey because it
00:07:30
wasn't. It was absolutely hard.
00:07:34
And I wish it upon no one.
00:07:37
But when I look back at it now,
00:07:40
and I know that there are
these times when you're
00:07:44
going through it, grief, illness,
00:07:48
you have to trust in God and he
00:07:53
will carry you through. And sometimes
those are things that you have to.
00:07:56
Do. I think that pressure
is put there for a reason.
00:08:00
I think we all go through
pressure for a reason. It's,
00:08:04
it's how we learn as human
beings when we go through
00:08:08
that pressure, when we put
ourselves in those positions,
00:08:12
we learn from that and we
learn in different ways.
00:08:17
Sometimes we just learn how strong we are.
00:08:20
Yes, yes. Oh my gosh. Well,
I don't want to cut you off,
00:08:24
but I feel like all these
little things in our life
00:08:29
prepare us for the big thing.
And for me in my life right now,
00:08:34
that was the big thing,
trying to figure out. I mean,
00:08:38
oh my gosh, if I think back,
fighting for the autopsy,
00:08:42
fighting to get a space, right?
00:08:44
Because they weren't going to
open up a spot beside my brother.
00:08:48
So just having to fight for
those little things while
00:08:53
you're dealing with your grief and you
so badly to hand the children off to
00:08:57
someone. But what a gift, to be
able to have them by my side,
00:09:01
to see me navigate through this.
00:09:04
Having my meltdowns not melt.
00:09:07
I don't want to say meltdowns because
I mean I could drive the car and be,
00:09:11
but just listen.
00:09:13
Mommy's really sad right now.
And to be able to vocalize with the kids
00:09:18
and say, how are you feeling
right now? How are you feeling?
00:09:21
And then Daniel being sad and
crying and destiny crying and us
00:09:26
holding each other. And then what?
00:09:29
Not even just a few
days later after we put
00:09:33
grandma to rest,
00:09:35
Daniel has this pressure because
00:09:40
he's committed to speaking
on a stage in front of
00:09:45
thousands of people.
00:09:47
I feel like this lesson
that he watched Mommy do it,
00:09:50
but it wasn't easy.
00:09:53
And I know his little heart
was scared, but he said,
00:09:57
I'm going to do this for
grandma. I could do it.
00:10:00
She was so excited before she
passed for him to go do this
00:10:05
speaking gig. He was so proud of him.
00:10:08
And this little boy
navigated his pressure.
00:10:12
So in, I don't know if I could
have done it, to be honest,
00:10:17
and I wouldn't have to. Right?
Anybody would understand.
00:10:20
My mother just passed and I
think I'm going to pass this.
00:10:24
Speaking 10 days later. He's up on stage.
00:10:27
But I think you know what it reminds
me of is that so many people go through
00:10:30
different types of pressure
and in their own lives,
00:10:35
I'm going through my own pressure.
You're going through this pressure.
00:10:38
The pressure of you going through
pressure is pressure on me. Well.
00:10:42
Knowing that I'm alone
there with the two kids,
00:10:44
I'm sure I couldn't imagine what
that guilt and pressure felt like on
00:10:49
you, but I want you to go
do your thing and just,
00:10:53
yeah, your pressure, my pressure.
00:10:56
And I think that it causes
strife in a marriage.
00:11:00
It causes situations where you're not,
because you're not you for a minute,
00:11:04
and you're trying to maintain that.
00:11:07
You're trying to keep your head together
because there's so much going on.
00:11:13
And I know people go through this.
00:11:15
There's so many entrepreneurs that
are dealing with the pressures of,
00:11:18
because you know why it's
different for an entrepreneur,
00:11:20
because the buck stops
with them when you're,
00:11:25
I mean, nothing against being an
employee and doing other things, but.
00:11:29
It's easy. You can call in, can.
00:11:31
Call in and say, can go home at.
00:11:32
Say, listen, listen, here's my
letter. I need two weeks off.
00:11:37
I need to get my head straight.
00:11:38
I can't be in for two months,
three months, whatever.
00:11:43
You can give them a letter and
everything's going to be okay.
00:11:46
It's still going to be
moving. Yeah, you'll.
00:11:49
Be back. You'll be back. But
when you're an entrepreneur,
00:11:52
it all rests on your shoulders.
00:11:54
So if your business starts
falling apart at that point,
00:11:59
it's on you. If you have
to leave, it's on you.
00:12:03
If things are going wrong in your
family, it's on you. People can pass.
00:12:07
And imagine the pressure of, yes,
00:12:10
I understand that somebody passed
away and I'm there for you.
00:12:15
But you also, the money,
00:12:20
if you're in that situation where those
funds for your family are dependent on
00:12:24
you being at that office or getting
things done in your business,
00:12:28
then you have to be
there at the same time.
00:12:31
And everybody's feeling
that pressure. Oh my gosh,
00:12:34
your wife is going through stuff.
Your kids are going through stuff.
00:12:38
You're going through stuff. And
that can be so hard on a family.
00:12:42
I actually posted this
quote today. Look at this.
00:12:45
I didn't even put this together
with the podcast that we were doing,
00:12:48
actually decided to do this podcast.
00:12:50
You just und undo something. Say
your quote. And I have something to.
00:12:54
Add. Actually, we're doing this
podcast because of a graph that we saw,
00:12:59
and it was just, we felt it was
important. But I love this quote,
00:13:03
and I'm sure you guys
have heard it before.
00:13:04
You'll never know how strong you
are until being strong is your
00:13:09
only option. Oh my.
00:13:10
Gosh.
00:13:11
And it's so true. When you
have that pressure on you,
00:13:15
you sometimes learn a lot about
yourself that you didn't know.
00:13:19
You didn't know. You could deal
with that type of pressure.
00:13:22
You didn't know you could go through this
and come out on the other side better.
00:13:25
Oh, goodness. Yes. So those are the things
that I think pressure help you with.
00:13:30
And it's knowing at what
point can you not take,
00:13:35
because people will break.
Everybody can break. I mean, I.
00:13:38
Was so scared of that. I was so.
00:13:41
Scared of that. I mean,
00:13:42
when they put people in Guantanamo Bay
and they talk about some tortures that
00:13:46
people can go through or
even practice torture,
00:13:49
I'm sure that some high level special
forces people have to go through.
00:13:55
There's a breaking point
that everybody has.
00:13:58
And there what point is that
breaking point? Some people have
00:14:06
a higher level ability to deal with that
00:14:11
type of immense pressure than others.
And I worry about today's youth,
00:14:15
and that's a lot what
this graph talks about.
00:14:18
Right? Oh my gosh. So
00:14:22
you uncovered something, and
we can go back to the graph,
00:14:27
but when you were talking about
00:14:31
the entrepreneur, sorry, I'm
getting a little emotional.
00:14:34
I haven't thought about
this for so many years,
00:14:37
but it just dug up that
moment and me watching my
00:14:41
mom navigate through the
00:14:46
grief of her son, my brother,
00:14:50
and this was hard on all of us,
but she was an entrepreneur.
00:14:55
She had the jewelry store.
Her son died a tragic, tragic,
00:14:59
violent death because he wanted
to go work to bring in more
00:15:04
money because he didn't want to take
the salary from the jewelry store.
00:15:09
So he went to go get this job
that my mom told him not to do,
00:15:14
and he died on site, a
construction site. And
00:15:19
she didn't want either my brother or
I doing hard labor because that's how
00:15:24
she grew up on a farm.
She had that kind of pressure.
00:15:27
I remember her telling us a
story where it was so hot and
00:15:32
they're working on the farm.
00:15:34
They would pour water on their
back and she would literally see
00:15:38
steam coming off their backs.
00:15:41
That's how hard labor it was.
00:15:43
So I remember her begging
him not to do this job,
00:15:47
and suddenly he died one of the
00:15:52
nights at this job,
00:15:54
and she had to keep going
because she had a little girl,
00:15:59
me and she had a business,
00:16:02
so she could only take off a
few days to grieve and deal with
00:16:07
this tragedy, the biggest
tragedy of her life.
00:16:11
She didn't even have a husband to lean on,
00:16:14
nobody to lean on. And she had
to deal with this by herself.
00:16:18
And I remember looking at
her not even wanting to cry
00:16:23
because I didn't want to
put any pressure on her,
00:16:27
but she did this somehow.
00:16:30
And these are the reasons why I
look at her and think she's one of
00:16:35
the strongest people I know in my life.
00:16:38
And there's so many other people
out there dealing with these things
00:16:43
behind the curtain. We don't even know
about it, but they deal with pressure.
00:16:48
And I don't even know how other than
it's got to be God and the mindset
00:16:53
and the preparation of her
childhood, my childhood,
00:16:58
your childhood, your
being a police officer,
00:17:01
all those things of pressure
adding together on the
00:17:06
scale, either it'll make you or break you.
00:17:09
It will make you break. You create
resilience. And I think when we talk,
00:17:12
just looking at this graph,
so the graph that we,
00:17:14
I just ran across it looking
through some materials,
00:17:18
and it was just kind of
interesting how the level of
00:17:23
ability to deal with
pressure is going down.
00:17:29
They say that baby boomers,
00:17:32
at least 70% of people said
that they had no mental illness.
00:17:36
They were not going through that.
00:17:38
They could deal with all the pressures
that were coming at 'em and that they
00:17:41
were fine, and that every day they
were able to deal with the pressure.
00:17:45
Not that the world's not changing too.
00:17:48
So I guess you got to kind of
take that into consideration.
00:17:52
But now we're down to Gen Z is,
00:17:56
and they don't have beyond that.
00:17:58
But Gen Z right now is
saying that they only
00:18:02
45% of them can or feel competent and
00:18:07
able to deal with the pressure
of what's going on in the world.
00:18:10
And maybe the world's changing,
maybe people are changing.
00:18:14
I think we are coddling
the younger generations
00:18:19
more. I mean, you think about when I was
00:18:23
in elementary school, we used to
run out on our bikes. No helmets,
00:18:28
jumping off jumps.
00:18:30
I mean out till nine o'clock at
night. I mean, some people probably.
00:18:35
Out later come home when it's dark.
00:18:36
Yeah. Now, so I mean,
00:18:39
because in some ways we have
to pay attention to that. It's.
00:18:42
A different world.
00:18:43
So kids aren't getting that same
level of independence and they aren't
00:18:48
able to stretch their legs and
determine how much they're able to
00:18:52
handle.
00:18:53
And I think it's affecting us and it's
going to affect our future in some ways.
00:18:57
I don't know exactly what
that's going to look.
00:18:59
Like. I agree. I agree with you.
But that's why I feel like for us,
00:19:04
our decision to include our
kids in business decisions,
00:19:08
and even not hiding the fact that
sometimes you and I butt heads,
00:19:13
yes, we're having an argument,
00:19:14
but I do always want them to
know, and it's not like a violent,
00:19:19
crazy, unhealthy argument, but we're
butting heads right now. We're trying.
00:19:23
To have a healthy argument.
00:19:25
But we want our kids to always know
that we're going to come together in the
00:19:30
end and nobody's going to
walk out on each other.
00:19:34
I want them to know how to
argue in a way that's going
00:19:39
to be productive
00:19:43
just so they never have to worry
about someone walking out or the
00:19:48
family falling apart, any of that. So
they never have to worry about that. Well,
00:19:52
I.
00:19:52
Think that's the pressure
you need to know.
00:19:53
I think us having an understanding
between us in the relationship,
00:19:58
and maybe it's a side note,
00:19:59
but just having an understanding of a
relationship that neither of us have any,
00:20:05
there's zero chance that we're
walking out on each other,
00:20:08
that we're here together forever and
there's nobody walking out. But there.
00:20:11
Is some kind of pressure
when you're arguing.
00:20:14
And I need our son to know how
to deal with that pressure.
00:20:19
He can't explode. He can't start
throwing things and punching things.
00:20:23
And I feel like it's
great sometimes. Well,
00:20:28
my daughter, I don't
know how to explain it,
00:20:32
but she can be a handful
sometimes for him,
00:20:36
and it'll strong willed. She's
very strong-willed like grandma,
00:20:42
and she'll try to butt heads with
Daniel, and I could see him getting,
00:20:47
and it's just such a great
lesson to see him deal with his
00:20:52
frustration and the
pressure the way that he
00:20:57
does. And I think that
he learns that from.
00:21:00
Us. I mean, I think you have to be
tested. You have to test yourself.
00:21:04
There's a part of that test. Navy
Seals special forces guys. They do.
00:21:09
I mean, even when I was a police officer,
00:21:12
there used to be in the academy
when we were in the police academy,
00:21:16
there's this house they
call the shoot house.
00:21:19
And they set up scenarios in there
where it's like a family in there and
00:21:25
you have a side arm with
fake ammunition in it,
00:21:30
and they put you in a scenario and
they put a lot of pressure on you,
00:21:33
probably more pressure than
you'll get in 99.9% of the
00:21:38
cases you deal with.
00:21:39
But they want to put that immense
pressure on you to see how you're going to
00:21:43
handle it,
00:21:44
because you'll never know sometimes until
you're put into those situations and
00:21:49
they call it shoot or don't shoot.
00:21:50
And lots of times they want to
see are you going to make a bad
00:21:55
decision because you're under
this pressure and you find out a
00:22:00
lot about yourself when
you're put in those positions.
00:22:03
Am I going to make a bad decision?
And everybody, well, not everybody,
00:22:07
but I didn't of course. But
00:22:13
I mean, everybody makes a bad decision,
00:22:16
but everybody makes bad decisions when
they get put in those positions because
00:22:21
you are forced to think quickly.
00:22:23
Right?
00:22:23
And so you learn a lot about yourself.
00:22:26
And I think when you go
through that trial by fire of
00:22:32
in your business or in a relationship,
00:22:35
having a death in the family or having
something that really puts you, I mean,
00:22:39
puts you in that place where you're not
sure how you're going to deal with it.
00:22:43
I mean, you see,
00:22:44
there's a lot of families
that when they lose,
00:22:49
maybe they lose a child.
I'm sure there's some s.
00:22:52
The divorce rate is incredibly high.
00:22:54
The divorce rate goes through the roof
just because they can't make it because
00:22:58
the pressure's insane. It's immense.
00:23:01
And so I think that
it's great to go through
00:23:06
those pressures, but you have to be
analyzing yourself the whole time.
00:23:11
You have to take notes. I.
00:23:12
Think the lesson I learned
this time is with my brother,
00:23:16
I would cry secretly and
I would cry by myself.
00:23:20
I remember when I was grown
up, I think you were there,
00:23:25
but I remember telling
my mom, I Ms. David,
00:23:29
and we would cry together,
00:23:31
but I didn't allow myself to do
that as a child because I could
00:23:36
see how much she was going through,
00:23:39
and I didn't want that this time around.
00:23:42
That's why I invited the
children when I could tell
00:23:48
that they were getting emotional. I just
wanted them to get it out. And I said,
00:23:52
that is so healthy to get that out and to
00:23:56
cry if you feel sad,
00:23:58
because the sun is always
going to shine and grandma,
00:24:02
grandma wants us to be happy
and celebrate her life.
00:24:07
It just caught me. I'm usually okay,
00:24:10
but sometimes it comes and now I'm okay.
00:24:15
It rolls. It rolls.
00:24:17
Don't be afraid to let out the
emotions as long as it's in a
00:24:22
healthy way. Nothing
violent or destructive.
00:24:26
I know that there are people
out there that deal differently,
00:24:29
but I'm so grateful that not once.
00:24:32
I never had to lean on drugs or alcohol,
00:24:35
and maybe it's because we
were able to grieve in a
00:24:40
healthy way.
00:24:41
Well,
00:24:41
I think it's important too to note
that people need to have good support
00:24:46
systems, like people
around you. If you're in a.
00:24:51
Situation where you don't have those
people, well, then you need a counselor.
00:24:55
Something like that. Depends.
00:24:58
It depends on the situation,
but definitely, yeah,
00:25:03
if you feel like you need a
00:25:07
professional assistance,
definitely. I mean,
00:25:11
a lot of moms are going through
pressure as is just doing mom
00:25:15
life then out of business on top of that,
00:25:19
and then maybe caring for your
elderly parent like, oh, it's a lot.
00:25:23
It's a lot.
00:25:25
Yeah. I think
00:25:28
when you're trying to
00:25:32
build a business or you
have this dream, well,
00:25:34
there's that great how that quote go,
00:25:37
which one I just told you a
couple of weeks ago about it,
00:25:40
about that God will show you your dream,
00:25:45
but he won't show you how you get there.
00:25:49
If you knew what it
would take to get there,
00:25:52
the pressures and the
things you will go through,
00:25:55
you probably won't start the journey.
00:25:58
And that's so true in
these situations that we're
00:26:03
all forged by fire.
00:26:06
There's a reason why a knife becomes
so strong when it's forged by fire.
00:26:11
When that blade becomes so strong
when it's forged by fire because
00:26:16
that pressure, the reason why
coal turns into a diamond,
00:26:20
it's because we need that pressure
to become who we're supposed to be.
00:26:25
I think it's important that we all
find our ways to deal with that and put
00:26:30
ourselves in those situations.
00:26:32
Because if you don't put
yourself in those situations,
00:26:34
you'll never find out who you are and
you won't grow as a person because you
00:26:38
only grow when you're in those situations.
00:26:41
That's right.
00:26:41
And remember the steps that you took
so you could share it with them.
00:26:44
Because I feel like, yes,
00:26:47
it was hard many times
in my life, in your life,
00:26:51
but now we're just in such a blessed
place where people can lean into us.
00:26:55
How did you do it without
00:26:58
having to depend on medications or
how did you get through the illness?
00:27:02
I'll never forget the day in the
hospital after I went through
00:27:07
the big, big one, of
course, the C-section,
00:27:11
I didn't want to take
those, the painkiller.
00:27:14
I just wanted to be as clean as possible
because I wished that I could have
00:27:19
had a natural birth. But you
can't beat yourself up. I'm tiny.
00:27:24
The doctor said, he explained what
could happen if I did the natural birth,
00:27:28
and it just wasn't worth it
for me and especially the baby.
00:27:32
But I remember my mindset.
I don't want to do,
00:27:38
I don't want to do the drugs. As
soon as I feel a little better,
00:27:41
I don't want to do any of this
stuff. I want to breastfeed.
00:27:43
And when I was going through
the big surgery where I
00:27:49
had to do it to save my life,
00:27:52
and I wanted the baby
in there to breastfeed,
00:27:55
and I remember this beautiful,
00:27:58
beautiful nurse that was helping me,
00:28:01
and she started crying because I
00:28:06
wasn't taking the drugs that
they wanted to give me. And
00:28:11
I just remember her heart
and she said, only a mother,
00:28:16
only a mother would do this.
You don't need to do this,
00:28:19
but only a mother would do this,
00:28:22
not take those painkillers so
she could nourish her baby.
00:28:26
And you brought the baby in.
00:28:28
And it.
00:28:29
Was like.
00:28:29
Medicine. I think those
00:28:33
couple weeks or those weeks right there
where we were kind of going through
00:28:36
that, I mean, that was pressure.
That was so scary. It had to be.
00:28:41
Oh.
00:28:41
Gosh, you don't want to think about
the bad stuff that can happen.
00:28:45
When the doctor.
00:28:46
Is, but it's say always in the back of
your mind and the doctor's telling you,
00:28:49
you might.
00:28:49
Not make it.
00:28:51
Your body might reject
all of this and all.
00:28:55
And you're taking it all in and you're
just having to believe the best and pray
00:29:00
and go through it.
00:29:01
I could almost get emotional
now because at that moment,
00:29:05
when I was given the diagnosis,
00:29:08
when I knew all that I had to do,
00:29:12
I didn't have the time to get emotional.
00:29:14
I had the babies and I had to
be so strong. And it's almost,
00:29:19
it feels good to get a little bit
emotional. It feels a little good,
00:29:24
but dang that pressure,
00:29:26
it made me so I'm so proud of myself,
00:29:29
and it just got me emotional because
not a lot of people say, mama,
00:29:34
you're doing a good job.
But to have her just, oh my,
00:29:39
I think she was Muslim.
I believe she was Muslim,
00:29:41
but she was just so
emotional with the journey.
00:29:45
Yeah, I mean, you learn a lot about
yourself when you're going through that.
00:29:48
And I know you did. I
mean, even when I met you,
00:29:51
you were running this
multimillion dollar business,
00:29:53
but I still feel like you've grown a
lot, just maybe Oh, a hundred percent.
00:29:57
The stuff that we've gone through.
00:29:58
I remember you used to be afraid to fly
a little bit and you're just like, oh,
00:30:03
I don't want to fly by myself or I
don't want to Afraid. Afraid of flying.
00:30:08
That was my weakness. I was.
00:30:10
Scared to flying.
00:30:10
But I think having kids and going
through that childbirth and going through
00:30:15
different, do you know when.
00:30:16
That, do you know when that went
away you When that went away?
00:30:19
When I was pregnant? Think when I was
pregnant, when I had the baby in my belly.
00:30:24
You have a human inside your belly.
00:30:24
And I was like, God would
never let this plane crash.
00:30:28
I have a baby in my belly, and
I know that's just whatever,
00:30:32
but it was just like what I needed cycle.
00:30:36
But I just think as a whole
other parts of your life too,
00:30:38
that was just one aspect.
But there's so much big,
00:30:40
had big grown a lot as a person. Big.
00:30:43
Oh.
00:30:44
Yes. And especially your surgery
where I just saw you become
00:30:49
superhuman. And I think that all
those things, it's that it's going,
00:30:53
it's being forged in fired.
00:30:55
It's going through those situations
and changing as a person.
00:31:00
And I think you've gone through that.
Think we all go through that. I'm.
00:31:03
So grateful for this gift.
00:31:05
Of life because I understand
that not everybody gets a
00:31:10
second chance.
00:31:11
And I've watched so many
people not make it from my
00:31:15
diagnosis. I'm looking,
00:31:17
looking for somebody on social media.
00:31:22
That's.
00:31:22
Surviving.
00:31:24
And just a few months later
or a year later, they lose.
00:31:28
The fight. And I just understand
that every day is a gift.
00:31:33
Every day is a gift. I
mean, even just now, I.
00:31:35
Was so excited about that one speaker,
00:31:40
I don't want to say her name
because I never got to meet her,
00:31:43
but I remember watching from behind the
scenes going, oh, she looks so great.
00:31:47
She looks so healthy.
00:31:49
I'm so happy that there's someone
out there winning the fight.
00:31:52
And then suddenly before
we were going to go.
00:31:55
To Before the big speech, yeah.
00:31:56
Big speech. She lost her
life. And it just like,
00:32:00
it's all those pressures, but I
understand how precious, precious,
00:32:05
precious this gift is,
00:32:07
and if I could just
tell someone out there,
00:32:12
just be grateful. I know there's
going to be pressures and stuff,
00:32:16
but it's preparing you like a
diamond, like you said. Like Dan said,
00:32:20
it's preparing you like a diamond
and it is all gifts prepping you
00:32:26
and coaching you and leading
you into your journey,
00:32:30
whatever that is.
00:32:31
And I feel I have changed
a million percent,
00:32:35
and so have you, you've changed
so much. Knowing those times,
00:32:40
am I going to be alone with
these children? Am I going to be,
00:32:46
you're different. I'm different.
And it's all a blessing,
00:32:49
and it's all from pressure.
00:32:51
And we all get better guys if we really
take that in and use it to make us
00:32:56
better if we're growing. And
that's why I think every.
00:32:59
Day, all the time.
00:33:01
And it's true, if you deal
with people as they get older,
00:33:04
usually most of the time,
I'm not saying every time,
00:33:06
but lots of times when
you speak to older people,
00:33:10
they have that wisdom about them.
00:33:12
You just know that these
people have been forged.
00:33:16
They've been through some stuff,
00:33:18
like when you talk to an old
World War II vet or Vietnam vet,
00:33:22
and you know that they've been
through some stuff, you're like, dude,
00:33:25
this guy could deal with.
00:33:27
Anything.
00:33:28
Women, no matter what.
00:33:29
It is, women, the women that
have raised those incredible sea.
00:33:34
You know what I love?
00:33:36
I love it when they interview
the mothers of very powerful
00:33:41
entrepreneurs or even famous people.
00:33:45
I love their story, but
yeah, as you were saying.
00:33:49
Yeah, I mean, even the
spouse goes through stuff.
00:33:52
When you're building your business,
00:33:53
and I'm sure anybody who's listening
an entrepreneur can relate to this.
00:33:58
When you're building your business,
00:33:59
it affects everybody in your family
and they're going through stuff,
00:34:03
and they're dealing with stuff and
they become stronger dealing with it.
00:34:07
It's a team effort.
00:34:08
When you guys are going through this and
there's something also comforting about
00:34:13
knowing that other people
are dealing with pressure.
00:34:16
Everybody is, we're.
00:34:17
All dealing with pressure. I don't care
what you see on Instagram. Trust me,
00:34:22
guys, we're all dealing with pressure.
00:34:24
The best of the best are dealing with
pressure. I watch guys and I'm like, ah.
00:34:29
Sometimes it gets to me. I'm
like, ah, these guys got it easy.
00:34:33
They're everybody. More
money, more problems,
00:34:36
more businesses, more issues.
I mean, could you imagine?
00:34:40
I think about the money, more problems.
More money. Money, more problems.
00:34:43
I think.
00:34:44
Everybody has problems.
Everybody has pressure.
00:34:47
Think about the pressure that
Elon Musk goes through. I mean,
00:34:51
I don't know exactly what
he's dealing with every day,
00:34:54
but when I think about
these multiple businesses,
00:34:57
he's running all these things
that he has on his plate, a
00:35:02
family and all these
things that he deals with.
00:35:07
I look at him and goes, man,
he sure handles this well,
00:35:10
but everybody's going through pressure.
00:35:12
You got to believe that this guy probably
has this terrible pressure over his
00:35:16
head every single day with
all these companies resting
on him and looking to him
00:35:21
on his shoulders. And.
00:35:22
That's a challenge to deal with it
because that's another thing they were
00:35:26
saying. I can't remember
just the other day. Anyway,
00:35:30
it's just a trait that all millionaires
and billionaires have is that
00:35:34
they're able to not lose their
while they're going through it,
00:35:39
and that's just something that
they all have in common, most of.
00:35:42
But they weren't born with it.
They learned it gained. They.
00:35:45
Learned it.
00:35:45
I don't think through they were born with
it. Think they learned it, learned it.
00:35:48
It starts off small.
00:35:48
It's almost like great when you
start a small business and you
00:35:53
gain that through your business
growing, it starts small,
00:35:57
small business, small problems,
right? The problems aren't as big,
00:36:00
but they feel big when
you're in that situation.
00:36:03
If you don't have the thousand dollars
that cost to pay the rent for your
00:36:06
building,
00:36:07
you're short a thousand bucks and you
need 3000 bucks or 5 bucks or whatever
00:36:11
it is. If you don't have that money,
it feels like a lot of pressure.
00:36:15
But then down the road,
you're talking about
00:36:20
in 2010, I had to find $20 million and
00:36:25
the pressures of trying
to find $20 million. Well,
00:36:30
actually it was 2009 in
that type of climate.
00:36:34
The 2008 crash had just happened, and
we're trying to find 20 million. I mean,
00:36:38
that's pressure. And so at
every level of the business,
00:36:42
you're going through pressure. Just
know wherever you are in your journey,
00:36:46
you're going to be going through pressure
and you just have to know it's coming.
00:36:50
And something about knowing it's
coming makes it a little bit easier
00:36:54
And you're prepared for it. So guys,
00:36:59
if you know anybody going
through pressure right now,
00:37:02
like dealing with maybe even
sometimes you got to look.
00:37:07
You just have to look at the things
that sometimes aren't being said.
00:37:11
Sometimes you have a good friend or
somebody who's messaging you or somebody
00:37:15
you're talking to, anybody who might
be going through pressure maybe,
00:37:18
or dealing with a situation,
00:37:20
maybe reaching out to them and giving
them a little bit of encouragement.
00:37:24
If it's you personally that's
going through the stuff,
00:37:26
there's hotlines that
you can call. Nine eight.
00:37:28
Eight is a hotline you can message, or
you can call personally nine, eight,
00:37:33
eight.
00:37:33
If you're going through something and
you'd like to speak to somebody about it,
00:37:38
just know that there's people
out there who want to help you,
00:37:41
and that tomorrow will
always be a better day.
00:37:44
Yeah, it can't rain forever.
00:37:46
Even when you're going
through the hardest thing,
00:37:50
it's going to ease off. It
doesn't feel like it, but it will.
00:37:54
It absolutely will.
00:37:56
Thank you guys for listening
to today's podcast.
00:38:01
If you can and want to leave a message
about this topic that could help other
00:38:06
people, please do that. Thank you for
subscribing and leaving reviews. Yes.
00:38:10
Thank you so much.
00:38:11
And we will catch you guys next week.
00:38:14
God bless. Take care.
00:38:16
Thank you for listening to
the podcast for you next week.
00:38:22
God bless. Thank you for
listening. I hope that your life.
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