EP 179 Mastering Work-Life Balance for Entrepreneurial Parents
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In this episode of the Pretty and Punk Podcast, hosts Dan Caldwell and Ildiko Ferenczi dive into the crucial topic of time management and work-life balance for entrepreneurial parents.
Drawing from their own rich experiences, they discuss practical strategies to prioritize ruthlessly, set firm boundaries, delegate tasks effectively, engage in self-care, and maintain flexibility.
Dan and Ildiko emphasize the importance of protecting and making the most of one's time while acknowledging that achieving work-life balance is an ongoing journey.
They encourage listeners to find personalized solutions that work for their families and remind them that they are not alone in their challenges.
Tune in to gain valuable insights and tips to help you navigate the complexities of being an entrepreneur and a parent.
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00:00:00
Our time is so precious. It is. There
is nothing more important than our time.
00:00:05
It's the one thing that we
can't get back. That's right.
00:00:08
And we have to make careful
use of it. And especially,
00:00:13
well, if you're running a business,
if you're doing anything in life,
00:00:16
but if you have kids.
00:00:24
No. Oh, that's better. Right, babe? Yeah.
00:00:31
Yeah. She founded an
architectural concrete company.
00:00:36
He.
00:00:36
Founded a hundred million
dollars clothing company.
00:00:39
She took the world by storm
as a social media star. He.
00:00:43
Took the world by storm as a
famous serial entrepreneur.
00:00:46
Together we started a business.
00:00:48
And had babies.
00:00:49
Now we're figuring out
the best ways to do both.
00:00:52
Join us as we learn from other
entrepreneurs going through the same life.
00:00:56
Struggles as they share their
life, hacks about success, love.
00:01:00
Kids, and everything in between.
00:01:02
Balance is not something you
find. It's something you create.
00:01:07
Don't get so busy making a living
that you get to make a life
00:01:13
float by. Dolly poet.
00:01:16
Welcome to the Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:01:18
My name is Dan Caldwell and
I'm here with my beautiful,
00:01:23
beautiful wife.
00:01:25
Zi, and my wonderful, handsome
husband, Dan Caldwell.
00:01:29
Well, thanks. You've never done that
before. I just, I'll take that. Yeah,
00:01:33
I'll take what I can get.
I'll take what I can get.
00:01:38
Okay. Okay. Okay. What is
the podcast about today? Oh,
00:01:42
I know what the podcast is
about. We were talking about,
00:01:45
it's probably because I'm not
so good at this. I'm okay,
00:01:48
but I could say I can be better.
00:01:51
It has a lot to do with time management,
00:01:54
and I think time
management is so important.
00:01:57
And actually I'm really good at
time management in a lot of ways.
00:02:01
I think I could be better because you
know what? Our time is so precious.
00:02:06
There is nothing more
important than our time.
00:02:09
It's the one thing that we
can't get back. That's right.
00:02:13
And we have to make careful
use of it, and especially,
00:02:18
well, if you're running a business,
if you're doing anything in life,
00:02:21
but if you have kids, I always feel like,
00:02:25
and this is the dad guilt in me,
00:02:27
is that I feel like
whenever I'm doing anything,
00:02:29
whether it be anything for business,
00:02:32
especially stuff that's kind of mundane,
00:02:35
that you're scrolling through
looking for content or trying
00:02:40
to figure out what am I going to
post today? Or whatever that is,
00:02:45
you're thinking about these things
you have to do, and I'm like, man,
00:02:48
I would rather be playing ball
with the kids or something.
00:02:52
And so you figure that
everything you do in your life is
00:02:56
taking away from your kids
a little bit. That's right.
00:02:59
When you make the choice
to do this instead of that,
00:03:03
because you might be taking
time away from your kids,
00:03:06
so you have to be careful
with your time and
00:03:11
managing your time, and that's
what this podcast is all about.
00:03:14
We're going to talk a little bit
about what we do to manage our time
00:03:18
better, and maybe some of
those tips can help you too.
00:03:21
But before we jump into
that, wait, what? I can't.
00:03:25
Need to add, hold on, hold
on. It's work life balance.
00:03:29
I think you've got some guilt
on your time management.
00:03:33
Well, I mean it's the same thing.
00:03:35
But it's going to have
tactical time management tips.
00:03:40
So work-life balance.
00:03:43
We will get right into
that right after this.
00:03:46
Okay, here we go. Hey guys,
00:03:49
we hope you're enjoying today's
episode of the Pretty Punk Podcast.
00:03:52
If you are and you haven't already
hit that like and subscribe button,
00:03:56
it just takes a second.
00:03:57
It means so much to us because it really
helps the podcast Get out there to more
00:04:01
listeners like you guys.
And if you know anybody,
00:04:04
it might help and you can send it to
them. We really appreciate that too.
00:04:08
We also love and appreciate
your reviews, even the babies.
00:04:12
Look forward to them every day.
00:04:14
If you share this episode on social
media today, don't forget to tag us.
00:04:19
We want to celebrate you because we
know it's not easy being a parent in
00:04:23
business and the way that
you juggle things makes you
a superhero that's worth a
00:04:27
shout out. Together. We have a community
of our personal followers as well,
00:04:32
and we just want to put it out there.
00:04:34
We want to show everybody that
this juggle is possible and
00:04:39
you are our family and we're
so proud and grateful to have
00:04:43
you a part of this family.
00:04:46
So don't forget all the links
are below in the show notes,
00:04:51
and thank you again, and
let's get back to the show.
00:04:55
So it's work life balance and this
guy's here, that's okay. Here,
00:04:58
I'll take work life balance. This
guy here sweating bullets already,
00:05:01
but can I just tell you this?
There's to me, in my opinion,
00:05:06
from my experience, there's no such thing.
00:05:10
I think I got.
00:05:11
Confused because we were talking.
00:05:13
About time management. That's.
00:05:14
Tactical time management
because the topic that
00:05:19
everybody comes to us with a
lot of people in our coaching.
00:05:23
We have a private coaching group,
00:05:26
and most people come to us and this
is one of the most popular topics.
00:05:31
It is probably the most
popular topic, life balance.
00:05:33
It's probably the question that rolls
off everybody's lips when we start
00:05:36
talking. Yes. Because they think
we're, we're not perfect at it.
00:05:40
We're always working to be
better, but they think's.
00:05:44
My life balance looks
different month to month,
00:05:48
even day to day, depending
on the age of your children,
00:05:52
depending on what's going on in your life.
00:05:55
Depending on your preferences,
there's certain things I would say,
00:05:59
we're going to probably talk
about this at some point, but
00:06:04
I keep telling you, let's get a
housekeeper. Let's get a housekeeper.
00:06:07
But you want to do it
yourself. Yeah, I prefer.
00:06:11
To. Yes, a hundred percent. That's.
00:06:13
A perfect example where somebody else
would say, I'm getting a housekeeper.
00:06:16
Right? A hundred percent.
00:06:18
And if that's what they
enjoy and that's what gives
00:06:23
them
00:06:25
happiness and what is it less stress,
00:06:30
then that's fantastic. That is
going to be our number three,
00:06:33
but we can just get
into that one right now.
00:06:36
So that's delegating and outsourcing,
00:06:39
and I think that that
is incredibly important.
00:06:42
Now you and your spouse have
to sit down and decide what
00:06:47
can you do?
00:06:48
I know there's things for me
that's really important for me.
00:06:53
It's hard for me to go out
and do the grocery shopping,
00:06:58
so I don't like to do
that. I know a lot of moms,
00:07:02
they enjoy going. They'd rather
have a housekeeper and have someone
00:07:10
do the housekeeping.
00:07:11
Me.
00:07:12
I prefer that. And they would rather
go out and go shopping. Not me.
00:07:16
I'm telling you, here's the tree.
I don't even go to the mall.
00:07:20
I don't go to the stores.
I know what stores I like.
00:07:24
I know what things I like to buy.
00:07:28
Everything is purchased online
very quickly. It's done. It's over.
00:07:33
Even with the kids, their clothes.
00:07:35
I don't go into malls anymore since
the kids were born. I just don't do it.
00:07:40
So I delegate that out by shopping online.
00:07:44
Then I have someone help me with getting
the groceries because for me it's an
00:07:49
all day thing. I know this sounds crazy,
00:07:52
but my mom, when she came to the country,
00:07:55
she was a housekeeper and
she worked for celebrities,
00:08:01
high-end homes,
00:08:04
and she had incredible people that she
worked for and the reason that she was
00:08:09
paid so much,
00:08:10
sometimes they would gift her
properties and all because she
00:08:15
was so careful she
wouldn't cross contaminate.
00:08:20
It's like when you stay at
an incredibly fancy hotel,
00:08:24
when you open the door to get your stuff,
00:08:27
they're wearing white gloves
because people at a certain status
00:08:32
don't like cooties. Okay.
This is just the facts.
00:08:35
And they are handing stuff to
you in white gloves. Right.
00:08:39
The hotels we stay.
00:08:40
In. I know it's.
00:08:41
All fancy. You can, there's no dust.
00:08:45
There's I clean like that
because my mom taught me how to
00:08:50
clean like that. I get it.
I've tried housekeepers.
00:08:54
You fired all my, yes. I
think it's the coroners.
00:08:57
Have.
00:08:57
There was some contention when we first
got together because you were hating
00:09:02
on my housekeepers all the time and you
were like, we're getting rid of 'em.
00:09:06
I'll just do it. Yeah. And I'm
like, no, you're not doing it. Yes.
00:09:09
It's like the whole purpose of this.
I'd rather spend time with you.
00:09:12
I don't rather you spend
time with our kids.
00:09:15
It's therapeutic to me.
00:09:16
No, but.
00:09:18
Yeah, I'm telling you that there's some.
00:09:20
I think we still have to
find a good housekeeper.
00:09:22
At some point if we can find a good
housekeeper that we can trust that
00:09:27
we have a know shoes in our
house rule. And on camera,
00:09:32
I see these sneaky little, they walk
in with their shoes and I'm like,
00:09:36
are you serious?
00:09:38
And I've been at Airbnb mansions where it
00:09:42
says, remove the shoes.
00:09:44
And we've come early and their
housekeepers were in there
00:09:49
in their dirty shoes. So
I picked up the phone,
00:09:54
I found out the contact. I said,
00:09:56
you have this no shoes rule in your home,
00:09:59
in your Airbnb mansion. Do you know these
people are in here with their gritty,
00:10:03
dirty shoes? She's like, I had
no idea. I had no idea. I'm like,
00:10:08
oh my gosh. So anyway,
I'm just very picky.
00:10:12
I like my place immaculate
and I'll do it myself. For me,
00:10:17
it's therapeutic. Everything's so
clean. It doesn't take me long.
00:10:21
We remove our shoes, we wash our
hands before we come in the house,
00:10:25
and it's a great thing for me to do.
00:10:31
I love cleaning. I don't know my.
00:10:33
Girlfriend. Okay, so that's
one thing we'll talk about.
00:10:36
We'll agree to disagree on.
00:10:37
We'll agree to disagree.
00:10:38
Maybe one day if I find an incredible
housekeeper that's not going to use
00:10:43
the same rag that she's cleaned
the toilet with on my counters,
00:10:47
and I see it not on camera.
00:10:50
Well, I fired for that too. But
here's the thing. I don't do that.
00:10:54
And that's not what my
housekeepers were doing.
00:10:57
You just didn't think they were
clean well enough. But I mean,
00:11:01
it is important with all this technology
that's out there now that it's so
00:11:06
easy to order your groceries,
order your clothes order.
00:11:11
I mean, you don't have to go get a
blender. You don't have to, oh shoot,
00:11:15
I need a new spatula. You don't
have to do none of that anymore.
00:11:18
You can order all of that online and that
saves so helpful, saves so much time.
00:11:22
And also any of your reoccurring orders,
00:11:26
your continuity stuff. Yes. I mean,
we don't do too much of that. Well,
00:11:31
we do some, there's probably
people like water symbiotic.
00:11:35
We'll put some stuff
in the list this time.
00:11:39
But a lot of those things, I mean,
00:11:42
if there's anything that you can just
put on where every 30 days or every two
00:11:47
weeks, something's coming so you
don't have to think about it.
00:11:50
We should probably do it with paper
towels and toilet paper and all this stuff
00:11:54
as much as we can because
I know you can do that.
00:11:57
You can make those settings on Amazon now,
00:12:00
and so it can make your life so much.
00:12:03
You don't realize you save a minute here,
00:12:05
you save a minute there and it helps
your work life balance because you're
00:12:10
just, you're able to spend
more time with your family,
00:12:14
more time doing the things that you
love rather than doing the stuff that
00:12:19
just needs to be taken care of.
00:12:20
That's right. And you can do that
in your business too. And guys,
00:12:24
if it's therapeutic for you to
take everybody and go shopping,
00:12:28
just like for me, I love cleaning.
I love it if you love shopping.
00:12:33
And that's therapy for me.
Before kids, I used to love it.
00:12:36
Now not so much. I am
always watching my back.
00:12:42
I'd rather not.
00:12:43
I'd rather spend a day at the park
or doing something fun with my family
00:12:48
than going shopping. That's
not my thing anymore.
00:12:51
But now we are so blessed
within your business,
00:12:56
you can outsource so many things
online. If you have a team,
00:13:01
an in-person team, that's amazing.
But when you're first starting out,
00:13:06
not only is it less expensive
to delegate stuff out
00:13:10
online, and you can.
00:13:12
Do that up for Fiverr,
00:13:14
all these different companies that are
out there where you can have a people do
00:13:18
tasks. There were somebody
just a week ago I needed,
00:13:21
I had this list and I had to remove
everything but the email address from the
00:13:26
list so that I could upload it to.
00:13:29
This. And.
00:13:29
You just outsourced it and it's like,
00:13:31
why am I going to spend all this time
doing this? It's 3000 names on here.
00:13:36
So it was so much easier.
00:13:37
Just send it off to somebody and 20 bucks
later it comes back and it's all done.
00:13:41
I mean, those types of
things mates it so much, but.
00:13:43
We definitely have.
00:13:44
Team. But it was like 20, 30, 40 bucks.
00:13:45
But it's worth every
penny because it's saving
00:13:50
you that time. Right?
00:13:52
Right now I think number one is prioritize
00:13:56
ruthlessly. And that's
one of the things that we.
00:14:01
Are, so give me an example of
how you prioritize ruthlessly.
00:14:04
Well focus on what truly
matters to your family and
00:14:09
engage in those types of things.
And those types of people.
00:14:13
Don't just say yes to everything.
00:14:19
Let go of the tasks and the
things that for us, for me,
00:14:24
the tasks and the things that don't
align with God's purpose in my
00:14:28
life,
00:14:30
those things are not on my priority at.
00:14:33
All. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm a little
guilty of some of that, but it's like,
00:14:38
here's the problem is that I have so many,
00:14:43
A lot of the people that I surround
myself with are some of the best of the
00:14:47
best. So when these guys
call you and they say, Hey,
00:14:50
I want to talk you about this
new thing that I'm doing,
00:14:53
and you'll look at me like, you better
not take that call. And I'll go like,
00:14:57
okay, what time do you want to
talk? And you look up at me,
00:15:01
why are you taking this call right now?
00:15:03
They're going to try to divert
you into doing something else,
00:15:07
but you got to understand this is
a guy maybe who's done 50, you.
00:15:11
Just want to hear 50.
00:15:11
Shows on television. I get.
00:15:13
It.
00:15:14
I get it. He's not like some slouch.
00:15:17
This isn't like some guy who hasn't
done anything before. And so I'm like,
00:15:21
I got to hear what this guy has to say
because you don't know where some of
00:15:24
those things are going to.
00:15:24
Be. Well, you have your gut
feel. I know for myself,
00:15:27
and that's slipping into number
two of setting boundaries,
00:15:30
but still prioritizing the
tasks of what you're going
00:15:35
to tackle. So you've got to
just be ruthless and prioritize.
00:15:41
Say you have to do 20 things
today. Get to the very,
00:15:45
very important things
and prioritize those each
00:15:50
day.
00:15:51
Set the list the night before
and then tackle those things in
00:15:56
your day and things are going to come
up. You may not get through that list.
00:16:00
Don't worry.
00:16:01
Don't eat yourself up about it because
that's just going to take away from
00:16:07
the harmony and the family.
00:16:09
So just do what you can and
then have that cutoff time.
00:16:14
And I think one of the things
I learned years ago and
00:16:20
trying to decide how to lay out my day,
00:16:27
I was told by this guy I respected
start with the hard stuff.
00:16:33
And so email was always that
for me. I always hated emails.
00:16:36
So I started off my day with doing emails,
00:16:39
get in the emails out of the way so I
could go do the work that I actually like
00:16:42
to do. And so I always, for you,
00:16:46
I don't know what that might be for
you or for somebody else listening,
00:16:49
but to me it was always email.
00:16:51
Well,
00:16:51
now you're in a different place where
we have someone helping us with emails.
00:16:55
But yeah, I.
00:16:56
Still have to answer a lot of emails by.
00:16:57
Myself, the ones that are
good that are sent to you.
00:17:02
And same, I have someone that
goes through all my emails,
00:17:05
otherwise I'd be on my phone all day long,
00:17:08
but I have someone that sends me
the important ones. And then yes,
00:17:13
that's one of my priorities.
00:17:15
But so prioritize ruthlessly number two.
00:17:18
Let's slide on down to setting
boundaries. And that's really,
00:17:23
really important. And.
00:17:27
I mean, the thing is that, and
I think even though I could do,
00:17:31
I know I can always do better,
00:17:33
but here's where people make
the mistake is they have people,
00:17:37
they have their buddies and their
cousins and their guy from down the way
00:17:42
who knew him from 10 years ago who's
calling you and they want to meet up, oh,
00:17:46
let's go catch a coffee.
00:17:50
Let's sit down and talk
about this. Or Hey,
00:17:53
can you tell me how to help what I
could be doing better in my business?
00:17:56
They want to take up your
time, their time. Can.
00:18:00
I just say, if someone asks
you, can I pick your No.
00:18:06
It's like, but don't even
let em get the word out.
00:18:08
No.
00:18:10
And if you guys are looking to
pick someone's brain, don't do it.
00:18:14
Just come at it in a different way.
00:18:18
Just pay them for their time or
bring something of value. You.
00:18:22
Got to bring something to the table.
Yeah. That's how you get guys.
00:18:25
Especially if these people
have a family. It's.
00:18:28
A no a hard taking away their.
00:18:29
Time's hard. No. For me taking time.
00:18:30
And there's a couple people
that I give a little leeway to,
00:18:34
but for the most part,
you got to say it's.
00:18:37
Dangerous because you do.
You want to help the world,
00:18:40
but sometimes you just
have to charge for that.
00:18:43
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
00:18:46
Warren Buffet said the difference
between successful people and really
00:18:50
successful people or really
successful people say no a lot,
00:18:55
say no to everything. I
think he says, I mean,
00:18:59
it's so true because if you
don't protect your time,
00:19:03
you're going to be so busy
doing things for other people.
00:19:07
Not to say that we don't like
to do things for other people.
00:19:10
A lot that we do do for other people,
00:19:12
and there's certain people
in my life that I will try.
00:19:17
I want to help everybody as much as I can,
00:19:19
but I can't give away this time that is
so precious because then I won't be able
00:19:24
to work on the things that I love to work
on that I need for my family or spend
00:19:27
time with my.
00:19:28
Family. That's right. And we
were talking about it, the other,
00:19:30
I was talking to a gentleman and
he is done very well for his life,
00:19:34
but he has a hard cutoff and
especially on his date night,
00:19:39
there's an earlier cutoff
because he leaves early.
00:19:43
So if they have a problem, his
cutoff I think was three 30.
00:19:48
And if they have a problem,
00:19:50
they have to come to him in the time
that it takes for him to walk from the
00:19:54
office to the car. So he's
still working in an office.
00:19:59
Not everybody works from home, but
he has the hard cutoff and he's like,
00:20:02
I'll give you till I get to my car.
00:20:05
And that's the hard cutoff on date
night and then on regular days,
00:20:10
it's another hard.
00:20:11
Cutoff. You have to do that, but.
00:20:13
You have to let the people around that.
00:20:15
When I used, I do meetings for tap out,
00:20:16
the first thing I said when I walked
in was I got 10 minutes or I got 20
00:20:21
minutes, whatever that
timeframe was. I said,
00:20:23
even when you get on phone calls today,
00:20:25
there's a few times that I still do that.
00:20:27
It's like I get on a call or a
podcast and you just tell people, Hey,
00:20:31
I got 30 minutes.
00:20:32
Set your time boundaries in a way
00:20:38
that protects your time,
00:20:39
but also gives them enough time to be
able to get done what you got to get done.
00:20:43
Yes. And so that you don't get
avoided. I do this a lot. Hey,
00:20:47
do you have time for a 10
minute call? I have a 10 minute.
00:20:50
I feel like with entrepreneur parents,
00:20:53
it's a 10 minute call or a 15 minute
call and just let them know upfront,
00:20:58
but respect their time. You have to
respect their time. That's so important.
00:21:03
So setting boundaries, that's
important. Number three,
00:21:08
let's delegate wisely. This is
all tactical stuff that we could,
00:21:13
I think we.
00:21:14
Talked a little bit about
this, but Yes. Oh yeah.
00:21:16
Sorry. We did that.
Yeah. So remember Moses,
00:21:19
he learned to delegate
tasks to trusted leaders.
00:21:23
So we were talking about that. We
already mentioned that. Delegate wisely.
00:21:28
So I like to have people help me
with shopping and all that stuff.
00:21:31
And we have our and team.
00:21:32
For business.
00:21:33
There's more hacks out there
just with the way technology
00:21:39
is exploding that there's going to be,
00:21:41
I was watching a robot
deliver food yesterday,
00:21:44
and it's like that's where it's
going. That's where it's going.
00:21:46
I also posted something about a car. Well,
00:21:50
now they got driverless cars.
00:21:52
Now literally you're getting into
a taxi and there's no driver.
00:21:55
So there's so many things to make
your life easier or more difficult.
00:22:00
Let's slide into number four
and talk about self-care.
00:22:04
That's a non-negotiable. You have
to take care of yourself. But again,
00:22:08
as parents, this looks
different for everyone.
00:22:11
I don't really have the time to go out
and have that weekly massage anymore,
00:22:15
but you have to get it when you
can dive deep into your rest
00:22:20
however you can. Is it after the kids
go to sleep? Is it before they wake up?
00:22:25
How are you taking care of yourself?
That's important. Now also,
00:22:29
self-care isn't just, oh,
a massage and get my nail.
00:22:33
I haven't had my nails done
in so long, let's be honest.
00:22:36
But it's the way that you feed
yourself. This is self-care,
00:22:40
the way that you feed your family. This
is all self-care because in the end,
00:22:45
if you're eating and you're
grabbing for garbage,
00:22:49
we really don't have a lot of trash
in our house because I would feel
00:22:53
maybe there would be a temptation
to go into that in the pantry.
00:22:57
But if you have a bunch of.
00:22:58
Sugary stuff, stuff, sometimes I look
in the refrigerator or the pantry,
00:23:01
I'm looking and I keep wondering,
00:23:02
why do I keep going back to the
pantry looking for something bad,
00:23:06
keep looking junk, but there's no junk
in here. We don't really eat junk.
00:23:11
I don't know. I don't really
want it. I'm just looking.
00:23:14
Yeah. Well, here's the thing.
Our bodies are our temples. And.
00:23:19
Self-care also means too, if you guys,
00:23:23
I think everybody kind of
has a hobby. Or for me,
00:23:26
sometimes I like to watch a movie.
I just need to clear my head.
00:23:31
Maybe it's a book. I've been
listening to this book lately,
00:23:34
and I try to listen to a book
every month more if I can,
00:23:39
but it's like this book is really,
00:23:44
when I am listening to it, I'm
like, wow, I clear all my thoughts.
00:23:48
It has nothing to do with business.
00:23:50
It has nothing to do with anything
that I would normally listen to,
00:23:54
but it's just a history
lesson. I love that.
00:23:57
I just enjoy being in the
moment of this history moment,
00:24:01
and I think it's everybody.
00:24:04
If you have that something
in your life that just clears
00:24:09
your head, sometimes you just need that.
00:24:11
You just need that to be better because
then when you come back to your work
00:24:16
or to your kids, you're in a better place.
00:24:18
Yeah, I agree. Engage in
activities that nourish your body,
00:24:23
mind and spirit, and you know what your
priorities is. You know what you need.
00:24:28
I know that for me,
00:24:30
I like to do those things and I have
the kids with me, but if I need,
00:24:35
I'm the mothers. It's
just a different life.
00:24:39
You're never going to go to
the bathroom by yourself.
00:24:43
Not for the moment.
00:24:45
That sweet little angel
takes its first breath.
00:24:48
You will never go to the bathroom by
yourself again. My husband is lucky.
00:24:53
He gets to go by himself.
00:24:55
He's not even, they don't
follow me to the restroom.
00:24:56
No, they don't. They have no
desire. But for me, it's just, hi,
00:25:01
what do you need? But yeah,
00:25:03
so this is my life.
00:25:06
So I listen and do
things that involve them,
00:25:09
which is great because I'm
nourishing my brain. I'm nourishing
00:25:14
with the content that I take in.
I don't watch crap TV anymore.
00:25:19
I don't feed.
00:25:20
Myself with, we don't even garbage
tv. It's hard to watch crap tv.
00:25:23
We don't have TVs.
00:25:25
We.
00:25:25
Don't watch tv.
00:25:26
And I'm not going hard on
anybody else because some people,
00:25:30
their content needs to
be different, but for me,
00:25:33
it feels I feel anxious if I am not
00:25:37
learning or taking in good content.
00:25:40
My life is very different now because
I'm going to tell you how precious life
00:25:44
is.
00:25:44
When you walk into an office and they
tell you that you may only have a
00:25:49
couple weeks, your life is
different. I'm telling you.
00:25:52
So my life is just different.
Let's try to wrap this up.
00:25:57
I love my life and I love
the way that I live it,
00:25:59
and everybody has the things
that make them feel good.
00:26:03
So go for what makes you feel good.
It's your self-care, not mine.
00:26:08
Embrace flexibility. This is number five.
00:26:12
Embrace flexibility.
00:26:14
So what would you consider embracing
flexibility? I'm going to be like,
00:26:19
okay, you wrote this down.
00:26:22
Well, here's the thing. Parents.
00:26:24
I'm going to give.
00:26:24
You the floor on this one.
As parents, things happen.
00:26:26
So trust in the Lord with all your
heart and lean not into your own
00:26:31
understanding. There's going to be weeks.
00:26:33
And I've seen it with my mom where
the business didn't go that well
00:26:38
and things are going
to have to be flexible.
00:26:41
I remember I've shared this story
before because this is powerful.
00:26:45
My mom was crying.
00:26:47
We were driving home and
she started crying. Well,
00:26:51
not totally crying. There was only
two times in my life that she cried,
00:26:56
but her eyes were
starting to get emotional.
00:27:01
They were starting to
well up. And of course,
00:27:05
like Daniel and Destiny, if I
ever get emotional, you get,
00:27:08
and then she'll run to her brothern,
mommy. So we're in the car,
00:27:12
we're looking at mom, mom, what's
wrong, David? What's wrong?
00:27:17
She said, I only made enough money for
milk and bread. And he gets so excited.
00:27:22
He's like, perfect, perfect.
I love milk and bread.
00:27:25
He was just really excited
about it. This is a great thing.
00:27:29
Don't worry about it. This is wonderful.
00:27:31
We got milk and bread and all this
sudden I started smiling and he started
00:27:35
smiling and she literally
started laughing. So I mean,
00:27:40
everybody's flexibility is different,
00:27:42
but just find the blessing in
whatever you're going through. For me,
00:27:47
when I was fighting for my life hardcore,
00:27:49
and I should have probably been checked
into a hospital because I know without
00:27:54
the kids, that's probably what
would've happened. But with the kids,
00:27:58
every moment was so precious and so
beautiful. I never smiled so much.
00:28:03
Nobody had any idea what was
going on behind the curtain.
00:28:06
But just whatever you're going
through, embrace the flexibility.
00:28:11
Take the lesson, because.
00:28:15
Everybody's going to have, if
you're an entrepreneur and a parent,
00:28:19
there's probably no
00:28:23
more challenging thing when
it comes to flexibility.
00:28:27
You're going to have to have flexibility.
00:28:28
I am trying to find the best word
way to word that you need flexibility
00:28:33
in everything that.
00:28:34
You.
00:28:34
Do. Everything. Yes. Because your kids,
00:28:36
that playtime with your kids is
going to extend out a little further.
00:28:42
You're probably going to
be bringing your kids.
00:28:43
Be to a meeting. You're something or
you're bringing your kids to a meeting.
00:28:47
I was nursing. There was no, oh,
I'll see you later. Sweet. No,
00:28:51
there was none of that. I was
nursing, so I was on business calls,
00:28:54
I was on Zoom, I was
nursing, I was on podcasts,
00:28:58
nursing business.
00:29:01
I was in it to win it. Okay. I'm not.
00:29:05
Going to deny.
00:29:06
I like to have the kids in our
meetings and I like to have the kids,
00:29:10
especially Daniel, he's
a little bit older,
00:29:12
have him next to me for a phone call,
00:29:14
but the second he's getting
a little wiggly on me. You
get nervous. I'm I'm out.
00:29:19
I am like Daniel. He can
see it in my eyes. Stop.
00:29:24
We're on this phone call.
I need you to listen. But.
00:29:27
At the same time, see for me, oh yeah,
00:29:31
the other day we were doing the
podcast and I let my husband have his
00:29:36
space.
00:29:37
I let you have your space because
I know it's what you need.
00:29:41
It's what men need, obviously. So
some guys are really good. We're not.
00:29:45
Good multitaskers. Well.
00:29:47
Some are good at the juggle, but I can
see if it starts to stress you out,
00:29:51
I'll just deal with it.
00:29:52
But the kids were in here and they
were playing and you could hear them.
00:29:56
But for me, this is the audio of my life.
00:29:59
I always hear the little
giggles and then things.
00:30:02
Clicking and I give him a look like
I'm, let me shut this off right now.
00:30:07
No, you can't because this
is our, don't forget. I.
00:30:11
Get it. This.
00:30:11
Is our audience and.
00:30:13
This is our,
00:30:13
but I expect a certain way that they
should be conducting themselves,
00:30:18
but they weren't being. And
when I'm looking at them,
I'm like, look at my eyes.
00:30:21
Do I look like I'm playing around.
00:30:22
Here? Don't touch my angels.
00:30:25
They're angels. I'm not going to
touch, but don't even, I'm like,
00:30:27
behave yourself. Listen, we're
doing a podcast better than that.
00:30:31
But they can. I mean, when
they need to turn it on,
00:30:35
then they are very well behaved.
00:30:38
Well, they're great.
00:30:39
But at the same time, they know when
my business calls, I just say, Hey,
00:30:42
I've got the kids. I don't have
a nanny. I don't want a nanny.
00:30:47
I am doing this stuff. I'm doing
the juggle. And more than anything,
00:30:52
because I really want you guys to see
that it's possible. And it's just, again,
00:30:57
just adapting. No excuses. It's
your new normal. There's no excuse.
00:31:01
You can do things. It'll be a lot
slower. It's not going to be fast,
00:31:07
including your kids. I
mean, the most viral,
00:31:09
one of the most viral posts that
someone put on there is when you include
00:31:14
your kids, everything's going
to take a little bit longer.
00:31:16
But maybe that's the point I'm learning.
00:31:19
I've learned so many lessons
since that first breath of my
00:31:23
babies that I'm so grateful
for. I used to rush.
00:31:27
I used to run through everything.
I'm so much more patient.
00:31:30
I'm a different person.
00:31:33
It's just like all you guys are
and it's a beautiful person.
00:31:37
Don't feel like you're losing
yourself because you are.
00:31:41
It makes me emotional
because it is so beautiful,
00:31:43
because you have given birth not
only to those beautiful children or
00:31:48
child that you have,
00:31:49
but you've also given birth
to a new version of yourself.
00:31:54
And it is so beautiful.
00:31:57
God just has planned everything
so perfectly for you.
00:32:01
And I remember thinking.
00:32:04
In my.
00:32:04
Single hustley,
00:32:06
bustly life and even throwing
in the towel of, okay,
00:32:11
so I guess I'm just never
going to be pregnant.
00:32:13
Well then I'm just going to go faster
and work harder. Well, you know what,
00:32:17
guys? That catches up
to you and you get sick.
00:32:21
Things happen. It happened to me.
00:32:24
God made sure that I slowed down
and just lived a different life,
00:32:28
and I love it. It is so blessed.
So anyway, that's the last thing.
00:32:33
We're running out of time. I'm
talking. It's okay. There's still.
00:32:37
More. We've got no time limit. Time
limits can do whatever we want to do.
00:32:40
There's still more. But I mean,
00:32:44
if you want to join our group,
00:32:46
then these are all things
that we talk about that
00:32:50
everybody's life is different.
00:32:53
Everybody's time management is different.
00:32:57
Their work life balance
just there isn't one.
00:33:00
There isn't a perfect work life
balance. It's just not going to be the.
00:33:05
Same. There's never going to be perfect
work life balance before you had kids.
00:33:07
It's always a work in progress.
00:33:09
But definitely
00:33:12
the morning routines and have everything
00:33:17
I want to say because one of the tactical
things that I wanted to touch on,
00:33:22
and I'm just going to add
this, there's a few more,
00:33:24
but we could always do another
episode on it, but have a morning,
00:33:29
people call it the morning ritual,
00:33:31
morning routine and also a closing out.
00:33:35
And I feel like for me,
00:33:37
I obviously have my kids
involved in it for us.
00:33:40
I'm going to pull back the curtains
and share exactly what we do.
00:33:45
But the one thing is the most important
is we pray and I pray with my kids,
00:33:49
and at the end of the night we pray,
00:33:52
we talk about gratitude in the morning,
00:33:55
and we affirm who we
are as God's children,
00:33:58
and we have this list
of things that we do.
00:34:01
Then we have our exercise stuff at home.
00:34:03
Because I don't spend hours at the
gym anymore. My life is different.
00:34:08
And I know a lot of you
guys when I talk to you,
00:34:11
especially the moms that are going
through postpartum and they're struggling
00:34:14
with their fitness and they can't
go to the gym, don't just give up.
00:34:18
Do stuff at home, have challenges
for yourself. 200 sit-ups,
00:34:23
200 squats, just whatever it
is. It doesn't have to be 200,
00:34:27
it could be 15 times three.
00:34:29
Just make it simple, but
push yourself a little.
00:34:31
Bit, right? Just commit to
doing something every day.
00:34:36
So maybe you don't need
to do the gratitude and
affirming who you are as God's
00:34:40
child. Just do the prayer. Just
start committing to a few things.
00:34:45
And at the end of the night,
we like to do the prayer.
00:34:48
We like to do what went well?
What could we have done better?
00:34:52
Those types of questions. That's really,
00:34:54
really important for our time
management and what we add.
00:34:57
To children. And we're nurse.
00:34:58
We do actually do this stuff because
lots of times when I listen to people,
00:35:02
I'll listen to different people talk
about some of their routines and I'm like,
00:35:06
do they really do that?
00:35:08
We really do do this stuff
because it's important to us.
00:35:12
It's important for us
to do it with our kids.
00:35:14
And actually one just walked
in just now. Hi Jackie.
00:35:20
We're talking to our friends.
They can hear you too.
00:35:24
So let the morning bring me word
00:35:28
of your unfailing love for I have put my
00:35:33
trust in you.
00:35:35
Psalms a hundred forty
three eight. I can't see.
00:35:39
I was trying to read that for you
guys. I wrote that down for you guys.
00:35:43
But yeah, so just have your
morning routine, ritual,
00:35:48
whatever you want to
call it, morning routine,
00:35:50
and then close out the day in
a powerful and meaning way.
00:35:54
And I love it. My
children hear my prayers.
00:35:57
And last night I was a little
bit anxious about some stuff
00:36:03
and I taught my son how to talk to God.
00:36:07
And it was really cute
because he said, mommy,
00:36:10
you know how you could
have done that better?
00:36:13
You could have made that prayer better.
00:36:15
Tell him thank you that it already
happened and we've been doing this for
00:36:20
years. And he said, don't worry about it.
00:36:24
Just give it to God.
00:36:26
That was very grown up of him.
00:36:28
I started crying, but then I had to
pull back. I didn't want him to worry,
00:36:31
but it was, and he always says,
are those happy tears or sad tears?
00:36:36
It was happy, happy, happy
tears because the way he
00:36:41
redid my prayer for me,
and it was just so, yeah.
00:36:46
You could have said
this like this, and Mom,
00:36:48
you should have said this like this.
00:36:49
And then you'll feel so much better
about it and God will answer your
00:36:53
prayers. He was so grown up the way
he said it. It's so gorgeous. Say.
00:36:57
Anyway.
00:36:58
One of the things I like to do is
just when you get up in the morning,
00:37:01
just to be able to set time for
your whatever you're going to do,
00:37:04
because we work from home
and we have our kids here.
00:37:08
And so I just set my
alarms for everything.
00:37:11
So if I have a one o'clock call,
I just jump on my phone. I say,
00:37:15
set a 1:00 PM call
00:37:20
with whoever, with John Smith,
00:37:23
and it will put an
alarm on for 1:00 PM to,
00:37:27
or I'll put it on five minutes
before so that I don't miss that call
00:37:32
because I never want to miss a call.
I don't ever want to miss a meeting.
00:37:36
I don't ever want to miss time with
my kids, whatever that might be.
00:37:40
Just set an alarm for it.
00:37:41
You can have 10 alarms set for the day
and they'll go off one after another.
00:37:46
And you just take a look and it'll
tell you exactly what the alarm's for,
00:37:50
set all those alarms the night
before or in the morning,
00:37:53
and it will make your life so
much easier and you'll never miss
00:37:58
anything.
00:37:59
Right? And that's a part
of time blocking. So again,
00:38:02
add the family activities
to the time blocking.
00:38:06
And if you like looking at aesthetically
beautiful calendars or things written
00:38:11
out, be careful, sweetheart. Be
careful with your neck. Okay,
00:38:15
she's so cute.
00:38:17
She's doing cartwheels and all
kinds of wonderful things in here,
00:38:20
keeping us entertained.
But yes, that's all time,
00:38:24
part of time blocking.
00:38:25
And make sure that you
are aggressive with that
00:38:30
and committed. There is
a time for everything.
00:38:35
And I think, do you have any
more last minute tips before we.
00:38:40
No, I'm excited to play with the
kids now, but I do. I have a lot.
00:38:45
But we could do a whole nother
because because it's so up in the air,
00:38:51
the work life balance,
00:38:52
there's a lot of topics to hit on it
and a lot of tactical things to hit.
00:38:57
So anyway, we love you guys.
00:38:59
I hope that this brought you guys
some clarity and some help and
00:39:04
just know you're not alone.
And when it feels like,
00:39:09
oh, I can't get it perfect,
00:39:11
I can't get everything perfect
and the same every day,
00:39:15
especially when you have the babies,
00:39:17
every day is going to look
different to the two week
00:39:22
old baby is going to look different
to the one month old baby,
00:39:26
to the 2-year-old, to the.
00:39:28
Way you handle it.
00:39:28
It's all going to look different.
00:39:31
And this is now not only your family,
00:39:34
but this is all a part of your.
00:39:37
Business. And be assured that we're all
going through the same thing we are.
00:39:41
We're not.
00:39:41
In different versions.
00:39:43
A hundred percent. We
call it riding the ship.
00:39:47
We're constantly riding the ship because
it's not always going to be the same
00:39:51
thing every time.
00:39:52
And so you might be trying something new
and you're trying to see if this works
00:39:56
and then it doesn't work.
So you change it up.
00:39:59
It's just constantly trying to do better.
00:40:02
And the fact that you're even worried
about it means you're a great parent.
00:40:05
Yeah, you are a great parent.
00:40:07
Take it.
00:40:09
Don't take it too hard because we're
all working to get better and we're
00:40:13
all worried about, I mean, every single,
00:40:17
there's times that me and her look at
each other and she'll just start crying
00:40:22
because she's like,
00:40:22
we haven't been spending as much time
with the kids as we'd like to or as we
00:40:27
should. And I just remind her that
we're going to get better next week.
00:40:32
It's like we had a busy
week, it was crazy,
00:40:35
and we didn't get as
much time with the kids,
00:40:37
but we're going to do
better next week. Well.
00:40:38
We spend time with them, but just for me,
00:40:41
I like to go places with them.
00:40:45
But sometimes you are stuck where
you can't or maybe you're not feeling
00:40:50
well and you can't do those special
things that you enjoy doing.
00:40:55
So I get emotional that way, but it's
good that I have someone to lean into.
00:40:59
And that's a thing. You have 10 cups
and when you see one's getting down,
00:41:03
maybe that's the relationship with
your spouse or one of your children.
00:41:08
You haven't been, oh, I love you.
She put her hand on my shoulder.
00:41:14
Yes, so cute. Where'd you find it? So.
00:41:16
We have this thing where
they deal, they want to talk,
00:41:18
they put their hand on our shoulder
and we just acknowledge 'em by touching
00:41:22
their hand, letting them
know that they can talk.
00:41:25
As soon as we finish our sentence, and
here we're doing it again. Go ahead,
00:41:29
babe. Yes, I know that.
00:41:39
Yeah, those sticky little alligators.
00:41:41
We're almost done with our podcast
real quick. And then we'll be out.
00:41:44
There'll go play and then I'll go play.
00:41:45
I love you Princess.
00:41:49
So that's just a little helpful
tool if you haven't heard us
00:41:54
say that on the podcast before.
But whenever they want to speak,
00:41:58
they just walk up and they put their
hand on our shoulders and then we
00:42:02
acknowledge 'em by touching their
hands just so that they know that we're
00:42:06
finishing a thought. Let us finish
this thought and then we'll tell them.
00:42:11
Then we will ask them
what they wanted to say.
00:42:14
So thank you guys for tuning into this
episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.
00:42:19
If you're not on our Instagram and
you have a question about today's
00:42:24
topic or today's podcast or any topic,
any of our podcasts, you'd love to you,
00:42:27
you can always ask us on Instagram.
We're pretty attentive there.
00:42:31
And be sure to check out our Instagram
and our YouTube and wherever else you
00:42:35
want to find us.
00:42:36
And hopefully you can share this podcast
with somebody if you know anybody that
00:42:40
it will help. Yes, and we'll
catch you guys next week.
00:42:45
God bless you. We love you so much.
You got this. You're an amazing mom.
00:42:49
You got this. Tell.
00:42:51
'Em they're amazing. Dad.
00:42:52
You're amazing, dad. You're.
00:42:53
Doing amazing. And if
anyone hasn't told you,
00:42:56
I hope that I my first with all you.
You're amazing. I love you. See you.
00:43:00
Guys next week.
00:43:00
Bye.
00:43:00
Thank you so much for listening to
this episode, pretty Punk podcast.
00:43:06
We hope you have a good day.
God bless. See you next week.
00:43:11
I appreciate listening,
00:43:16
podcast. Be subscribe. See you next week.
00:43:22
God bless.
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