Is Divorce Contagious? Be VERY careful of the people you surround yourself with!

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And I want to leave a legacy.
Nothing is more important than that,

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but for me right now,

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I'm on this trip where I just,

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I love Jesus. God has this plan for me,

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and I know that the plan
is to pour everything I

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can into my husband and my kids,
and nothing makes me happier.

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And if someone wants to
take me away from my family,

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those people aren't really for me.

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No.

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That's better, right, babe? Yeah.

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Yeah. She founded an
architectural concrete company.

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He.

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Founded a hundred million
dollars clothing company.

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She took the world by storm
as a social media star. He.

00:00:52
Took the world by storm as a
famous serial entrepreneur.

00:00:56
Together we started the business.

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And had babies.

00:00:58
Now we're figuring out
the best ways to do both.

00:01:01
Join us as we learn from other
entrepreneurs going through the same.

00:01:05
Life struggles.

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As they share their life,
hacks about success, love.

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Kids, and everything in.

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Between.

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Well, there was love. There was life.

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Mahatma Gandhi.

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Husband Loves your wife,

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Ephesians 5:25.

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Welcome to the Pretty and Punk
podcast. I'm your host, Dan Caldwell,

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and here with my wife.

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You, the gofer.

00:01:35
My beautiful wife, Zi, and we have
an interesting podcast for you today.

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Scary, terrifying.

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Well, we ran across this
article that suggested

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that divorce could be contagious.

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That's scary.

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It is scary.

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Well, because the rates
are already so high as is.

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But contagious, like how
you catch it like a virus.

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Well, there was a study of over five.

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Well, hold on, hold on. Before
we jump into that. Hey guys,

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we hope you're enjoying today's
episode of the Pretty Punk Podcast.

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00:02:36
We want to celebrate you because we
know it's not easy being a parent in

00:02:40
business and the way that
you juggle things makes you
a superhero that's worth a

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shout out. Together. We have a community
of our personal followers as well,

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and we just want to put it out there.

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We want to show everybody that
this juggle is possible and

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you are our family and we're
so and grateful to have

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you a part of this family.

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So don't forget all the links
are below in the show notes.

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And thank you again. And
let's get back to the show.

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Is divorce contagious?

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As I was saying, a study of over 5

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participants found that people are 75%

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more likely,

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75% more likely to be divorced if a

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close friend or family
member was also divorced.

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I'm laughing because I'm uncomfortable.

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I mean that's.

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Wait, wait, wait, wait. It
gets even more tragic. Okay,

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147%. I mean, what does that even.

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Mean? How do you even have 147%?

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No,

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147% more likely to be divorced if they

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have multiple divorced friends
in their social circle.

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And then there's a more
sadness, a little more.

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Sadness. You already have a 50 50 chance.

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Unless you're in Laguna, then it's.

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60.

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70, 70% where our dream home was.

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Oh my gosh, that's so crazy. Wait.

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And then there's a little more
sadness of 33% more likely to

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end their marriage if a friend of a
friend is divorced, a friend of a friend.

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So even separated from sex,

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not even your best friend. Just
a friend of a friend. Oh my God,

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those are ridiculous stats. Why is that
even? I mean, I get it. I know why.

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I know. Why.

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Do.

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You think? Because if you have
people like that in your life,

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no matter what I mean, not
that they're bad people,

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but you have somebody in your life that's
close to you who just got a divorce

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for that second, for that first
little bit of being divorced,

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it probably feels like kind of a relief.

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Like they were going through this thing
and maybe they were going through some

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hard times and it sucked. Even
the divorce probably sucked.

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But imagine after they get past that
for a second and they feel like, oh,

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my ex is watching the kid and I can go
out now and I got all this free time and

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I got nobody yelling at me
when I come home late. My gosh,

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I couldn't imagine being.

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Away from my kids. That's.

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Attractive for a second for somebody.

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But the thing is, is it's fleeting.

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It's something that happens
for a minute. You are.

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Right. I have.

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Seen it. And then they
realize the mistake.

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That happened on online,

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on social media where mom gets to
get all dressed up and she has her

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few days alone and she gets to go drinking
and go to the bar and get dressed up.

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And that's not even my
thing. I hate drinking.

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I don't like to go to the bar.

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I don't like any of that stuff.
So that's not attractive to me.

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But maybe to some people that
are kind of dealing with that,

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maybe they're dealing with the
identity of they just became a new mom.

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They're really missing their
old life. They're old friends.

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And this could be just a different,

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I feel like you and I, we just
have a different group of people,

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different circle of friends,

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very people that are driven
to have great strong marriages

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that are faithful to
God to their religion,

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and they've just sliced
the fat off of their

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lives.

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But I guess I could see that's
exactly what happened. See,

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we've cleared our life.

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Cleared our.

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Life of those type of people.

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Hundred percent.

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But if there's people of
influence out there saying,

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Hey, it's actually really awesome because
you get four days off or three days or

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whatever it is, whatever it is. Oh.

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There's a TikTok out.

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There on it for sure. Oh
yeah, this is amazing.

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So I get some time off from being a mom
or a dad. I get to work on my business.

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I get to pick up chicks or.

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Whatever. But you know what though?
I bet you for a minute, like I said,

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it's fleeting. It happens for a
minute, for a second. It's okay.

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And you're excited about it. Maybe a
life change or whatever it might be.

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But then the thought of
what have I done to my

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kids? I failed at this. I failed at this.

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I couldn't be,

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the whole reason why we have this thing
is so that we could spend more time with

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our family and our kids,
but we know our goals.

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We've aligned our goals,
what we want in life,

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and we've done the work
and we know what we want.

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We've changed our businesses to a way
where we could see each other every day

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and spend more time with each
other, you and I and the kids.

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But imagine this newlywed family who's

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started a new business.

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Maybe the husband's gone and he started
a business and he comes home and she's a

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new mom. She has a baby, a little baby.

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She's going through some postpartum
and I mean, that's a hard.

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Time. Absolutely.

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And the statistics are that
the divorce happens when the

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kids are young like that. And.

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You especially when.

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Have more, you have.

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50 Chance. Yeah, exactly. I mean,
the statistic, what I'm saying,

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say you've got 50 50 chance
you're getting a divorce,

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so you already start off with a 50 50
chance. It's a crap shoot right now.

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But if you have God in your life,

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if you keep God first
place in your marriage,

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I believe the statistics are 1%,

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you have a 1% chance of getting
a divorce. But for those who,

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and that's why I'm just telling you,
if I can give one piece of advice,

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I can't tell you how to run your, I mean,

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I will tell you I'll how we run our
marriage or how our marriage works and why

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we think we are onto something here.

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But I think that both, I can
tell you one thing, we've both.

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Been in relationships before you got to
to keep God first place that we were.

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I think we were different people.

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I was more stubborn. I wasn't realistic.

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I think about marriage and a
strong relationship. I think,

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I mean, I know. I believe
you're still stubborn. Stop.

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You are the stubborn one.

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Okay.

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Okay. Okay. So for me, okay, you
are stubborn. If you want to go,

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go down that path, you're.

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More stubborn than I'm.

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I get annoyed and I just want to feel

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like I,

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I have a lot of load on my
shoulders and I just want

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help and I want to feel
like I matter for you.

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On the other hand, you're just
stubborn and you like to win.

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And I'll just give you that
because I'm exhausted. You could.

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Win. You can win win.

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Every time. I don't care.
But thank you for the.

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Endorse endorsement. I appreciate
that. I do like to win.

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Accountability sometimes, but what
I'm saying, okay, back in the past,

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you're right. I was spoiled.
I thought marriage was easy.

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I thought you get married and this is it.

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I didn't realize how
much work went into it.

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And I think that in that
relationship in the past,

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I think we just threw in the towel not
knowing what actually went into marriage.

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I was young, and I
think you too with your.

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Situation. Yeah.

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Your engagement or whatever.

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I don't think you realized how much.
Well, both of you, whatever, whoever,

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whoever's fault it was. Marriage
isn't easy. No, that's easy.

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Let's just put that out there.
I think everybody listening

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can acknowledge.

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If your marriage, you can relate for sure.

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It's not easy.

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There's a lot of work and love
and care and sacrifice that

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goes into it.

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But if you put God first and

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you feel the, for Dan and I,

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we experienced and we
saw miracles firsthand.

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And I think, how do you not
know when you have a child?

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How do you not you

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not know God?

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How do you not see that God is
responsible for that miracle?

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I think when my baby took my first breath,

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that I took my first breath as a mother,

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I became a different person.
And that was a miracle.

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I've never felt that kind of love.

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And to know that we have to

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work so hard

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to never let that little baby down.

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Now we got more babies and
I'd like to have even more.

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If God, hold on, hold on. If
God bless us. Hold on, hold on.

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How could you not? Those
kids want more babies.

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Whatever God has planned for.

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Us. Have you seen those two kids in there?

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They're angels.

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They're my squeaky pee
bees. They're great kids.

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But what I'm saying is just

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if you understand,

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I can't even put it into words, but

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you have to commit.

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You have to shave off the people that
you just see. When you're close to God,

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you just see things in a different
light. I haven't drank for eight years.

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I've dedicated my life
to the kids in nursing,

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and I don't miss a drink. Hi, baby girl.

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Thank you. I need water. You need
water? Okay. Give me a few seconds. No,

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no.

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You know what the truth is? If for us,

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the fat has just come off,
it's come away from our life.

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We keep God first place, but.

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We pray. We pray over each other.
We pray over the marriage. Our kids,

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our children, pray over us.

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Dan and I were having a hard
time when you were building the

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business. I mean, you are in a different,

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you have a huge thing
going on right now. Huge.

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You're a part of something so big, so big,

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like UFC, and you are what?

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It's just everything is going great right
now. But I mean a lot of it's still a.

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Lot of work. Also been,

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you were in a bad position where you
had to go in Andy, mommy, stop talking.

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Why?

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Oh, she wants to get, okay. Okay. Okay.

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Thank you for that. Well,
this podcast is gone now.

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Can you hear me? Can you? I can
darling. I can hear you. Yes.

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I just want to say that when you have
people like that in your life and they

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haven't, see,

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we've been lucky enough to shave that
fat off and we don't have that situation.

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But can you imagine this newlywed couple
who's got a new baby and has got a new

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business and they have one
of 'em. Maybe the girl,

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the wife's got a divorced friend
who's talking about how great it

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was that she got to go out last night
and you ought to come out with us

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sometime. It's okay. You don't
have to stay out all night,

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just come out for a little bit. And
then those conversations, oh yeah,

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my husband used to do that. Or these.

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Conversations about arguments and then
I'll call and all that other stuff.

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And you're going through a hard
time. So you're in this place,

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you're going through a lot and
vent, need to feel like you vent,

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which we know this. We know you
never vent to your friends. Okay?

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Never, never vent to friends, family.

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My mom was a different person because
my mom was old school European,

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and I'd want her on my side.

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I'd call her and I'd venting
because I was frustrated.

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But she would call me out.
She would hold me accountable.

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And those are the people that you
want in your life. She would say.

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And then she would say.

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Well, is about me.

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Put yourself in his shoes. He's
probably stressed out. Yeah,

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she would be.

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About me.

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What? Your.

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Mom loves me.

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No, no. She was on your side,

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but she would want not
your side, but she would.

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Of course she was on my side.

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She.

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Loves me.

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Not always though. Well,
but she would also.

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Call you. She actually called me. I
heard her call me names in Hungarian.

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I know what she was saying, but.

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She doesn't swear. But she
was just very frustrated.

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With stuff. Absolutely.
No, I've heard the words.

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I know what words she was
saying. Yeah, she was totally.

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They weren't hardcore swears.

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They were just innocent frustrat.
But I knew it was going on.

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But I get that your mom
holds you accountable,

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and those are the type of friends
you want in your life too.

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If you're in a situation where you're
doing something you're not supposed to be

00:16:12
doing or heading down that path,

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you need somebody in your life
that's going to hold you accountable.

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Somebody who's going to say, Hey,
look, you got, what are you doing?

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What are you doing? Your wife's
at home. She's waiting for you.

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And you got to be that
person for your friends too.

00:16:33
If they're getting out of line,
you need to hold them accountable.

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I promise you. I promise you,

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they will appreciate it in the moment.

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Most guys want to be good guys.

00:16:48
And if they get called on their stuff,

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if somebody calls 'em out and your
guys are good friends and you call

00:16:55
'em out on their stuff, if they're
getting a little sideways like, oh,

00:16:58
check this girl out, or whatever they're
saying or whatever they're doing,

00:17:01
and you call 'em on their stuff,
they're going to appreciate that.

00:17:04
They're going to respect you for.

00:17:05
That. I think so.

00:17:06
Yeah. And you want those type
of friends in your life too.

00:17:10
If you say something or get a
little sideways or whatever,

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you just don't even want friends that
are going to, and not that you should,

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and you should never do that,

00:17:18
but you want friends that
are going to lift you up that

00:17:23
are not going to.

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Guilt.

00:17:26
Trip you on time.

00:17:28
You haven't called me and when's
the last time we went out?

00:17:31
And those type of friends.

00:17:32
Or even the friends
that try to isolate you,

00:17:35
let's go hunting or let's
go on a guy's trip. I mean,

00:17:40
that's not for me. When my
girlfriends were like, oh, I'm.

00:17:43
Not a hundred percent, we don't
do that. Can you come out with,

00:17:47
I'm not a hundred percent against.

00:17:48
It. I'm just, I'm not into that
anymore. I don't even want to, Dan,

00:17:53
you are my best friend.

00:17:54
I don't want to go hang out and go to
the bar and do all these things best that

00:17:57
just don't, don't interest
me. My, I'm not into that.

00:18:00
I don't want that either.
I just want to be with you.

00:18:04
And listen, I can't.

00:18:06
But I'm not against it. Can't
speak. Somebody wants to do that.

00:18:09
I don't want to tell 'em that you
are a bad husband because you do.

00:18:13
That. No, they're good guys. And
they call you out and say, Hey,

00:18:17
let's go on this thing where we're going
to better ourselves as men and this and

00:18:20
that. But if it's just to go
drinking and partying and like, Hey,

00:18:24
let's go hang out and drink and
hunt or I don't know, whatever,

00:18:29
that's not cool. But I'm
just a very, I love to learn.

00:18:34
I love to better myself and
I want to leave a legacy.

00:18:38
Nothing is more important than
that. But for me right now,

00:18:41
I'm on this trip where I,

00:18:45
I love Jesus.

00:18:49
God has this plan for me,

00:18:51
and I know that the plan
is to pour everything I

00:18:56
can into my husband and my kids
and nothing makes me happier.

00:18:59
And if someone wants to
take me away from my family,

00:19:02
those people aren't really
for me. And that's the thing.

00:19:05
I have this best friend that lives in
another country and we don't see each

00:19:10
other every day. We barely, actually,

00:19:15
I think I haven't seen her
for maybe a couple years,

00:19:18
I want to say now a couple
years, but she's my best friend.

00:19:22
But she does check in with me and
we'll leave each other messages.

00:19:26
And she is,

00:19:31
and always has been my best friend.

00:19:33
She'd always hold me accountable
even before I had kids.

00:19:37
But I knew that she's tiny
and she's gorgeous and she's

00:19:41
classy, but she would kick someone's
butt for me back in the day.

00:19:46
But.

00:19:46
What I like about her though,
she's strong, she can,

00:19:50
and this is how I am
with my best friends too,

00:19:53
is that if we haven't seen each other
in two years and we finally see each

00:19:56
other, that's like.

00:19:58
Not even a moment went
by. Just everything.

00:20:02
And it's like a soulmate.
Everything picks. And

00:20:07
that's a friend. That's
a blessing from God.

00:20:10
It's like everything picks
up where it left off.

00:20:14
And then when they send you the messages,

00:20:16
you really feel the love from behind
them. There's no guilt like, Hey,

00:20:20
why haven't you called me?

00:20:22
We're both busy moms and we're both
pouring into our children and our husbands

00:20:26
and our families and trying
to do the best for them.

00:20:30
But I know we both love God,

00:20:32
and I just know that she's
a good person. I feel it,

00:20:37
and I feel the care, and I
feel the love. And sometimes

00:20:42
not putting pressure on someone just
to hang out or be with you or make them

00:20:46
feel bad. I just almost want to avoid
people like that altogether. I mean,

00:20:51
I do. I do. Period.

00:20:52
End the story. Those are the type of
friends. If you're going to have friends,

00:20:54
those are the type of friends
you want in your life.

00:20:56
Those are the type of friends
that you want around you.

00:20:58
And they send you articles. Well,

00:21:00
she sends me articles on
the things I'm going through

00:21:05
on and vice versa. We
just, anyway, whatever.

00:21:08
And the ones that are going
to lift you up when you're,

00:21:12
because if they're like that
when it comes to this stuff,

00:21:16
when it comes to relationships
and marriages and family,

00:21:21
and they are championing you when it
comes to that stuff, they're going to and.

00:21:25
Celebrating your wins.

00:21:26
Those are going to be the same
ones that celebrate your wins.

00:21:28
That's exactly what I was going to say.

00:21:29
Watch the people that watch
how they act when you get the

00:21:34
little wins and the successes in
life, are they cheering you on?

00:21:39
Are they cheering your husband on?
Are they cheering your wife on?

00:21:42
You got to watch for that.
And if you don't see that,

00:21:46
I was just listening to someone
talking about this the other day,

00:21:50
and she was saying how she
cleans house every year because

00:21:55
every year she has some
kind of accomplishment,

00:21:58
and if her people aren't
cheering her on and celebrating

00:22:03
the wins.

00:22:04
They're gone. So I just looked
this up right now. I was like,

00:22:07
I know I heard something about this
and I was just telling you about it,

00:22:09
and you said you hadn't heard about it.

00:22:11
In a 1997 Gallup poll done by the
National Association of Marriage

00:22:16
Enhancement showed that the
divorce made divorce rate among

00:22:20
couples who pray together regularly is

00:22:25
one out of 1 couples.

00:22:30
That's less than 1%.

00:22:33
Wow. That's awesome.

00:22:34
So if you want to talk about
putting yourself in a good position,

00:22:37
because the national divorce
rates are basically 50 50 right

00:22:42
now. And of course if you live in Laguna,

00:22:45
it's like 70 30.

00:22:49
So if you want to give yourself the
best chance, that's what you do.

00:22:53
You pray over your spouse and you
keep God first place in your marriage,

00:22:59
and that's how you keep that
marriage together. And the truth is,

00:23:02
and on a good note, and I'll
say this on a good note,

00:23:05
is that it actually works
the other way around too,

00:23:08
that if you keep good people around you,

00:23:11
have you ever noticed that when
they get married, everybody,

00:23:15
all your friends get married at the
same time. And when they have babies,

00:23:19
everybody's having kids at the same time.

00:23:21
It's like when you have
those people in your life,

00:23:23
when you keep good people around you,
good things will happen around you.

00:23:27
Hundred percent stronger
marriages will happen.

00:23:29
Around you. And that's the thing, when.

00:23:30
You have a friend.

00:23:31
Choose to hang around.

00:23:32
Lifting you up about your marriage and
saying if you are going through hard

00:23:36
times or something,

00:23:38
not that you're spilling the beans about
what's going on in your relationship,

00:23:43
but if you have a friend, they know
when you're going through something,

00:23:47
they know when it's a little bit hard.

00:23:48
And that's the thing is just check
in with your friends once in a while.

00:23:51
Just like my girlfriend,
she checks in with me,

00:23:54
but she would never say a negative thing

00:23:58
about you or my marriage. And
I know that I can trust her,

00:24:04
but she always checks
in, how are you doing?

00:24:06
And she has this way of
lifting me because I tend

00:24:11
to,

00:24:14
I don't like to talk about my problems.
I don't ever want to be a Debbie Downer.

00:24:19
I'll never talk about it. I
don't like to do that. No.

00:24:22
But you've gone through a lot in the last.

00:24:23
Few years. I've gone through a lot,

00:24:25
but I don't like to let people know
because I want to be the person

00:24:30
that comes out of it. So
I don't ever like to, but.

00:24:32
She knew what you were going through.

00:24:34
She knew and she could
imagine anybody. It just, I,

00:24:39
yeah, it makes me emotional.

00:24:41
She's got a really beautiful
heart and she just like,

00:24:44
it's weird because
sometimes God connects to

00:24:50
God, speaks through people,

00:24:52
and you may have this day that you're
maybe going through pain or medical

00:24:57
stuff, and all of a sudden
someone reaches out and says, Hey,

00:25:01
how are you doing? Hey,

00:25:02
I found this article and they
hate you at the right time.

00:25:06
That's God speaking through them
because they're close to God too.

00:25:10
So you want to keep yourself
around couples that are

00:25:14
championing their marriage and
they're pouring into their kids,

00:25:18
just the people that you want
to be like and you champion them

00:25:23
back, vice versa, back and forth.

00:25:26
Absolutely. And guys,
when you go into marriage,

00:25:28
you have to go in with the
idea that you're not leaving.

00:25:32
You can't walk into a marriage with one
foot in and one foot out of the bathtub.

00:25:36
You've got to.

00:25:36
Work.

00:25:36
Hard. It's going to be hard.

00:25:40
God loves marriage and the devil
does it. The devil hates marriage.

00:25:44
He'll come at you in a.

00:25:45
Way. He'll find a way to get at
you when you're at your lowest.

00:25:50
He's going to find a way to drag
you down when you're not ready.

00:25:54
He's going to put people in your life
that shouldn't be there that are going to

00:25:57
drag you down. And
that's why I think that,

00:26:02
and I believe that if you keep God first
place in your marriage and you are in

00:26:06
your marriage for good, you
have both feet in your marriage,

00:26:10
there's no walking out of this marriage,

00:26:11
there's nothing that's going to
take you out of this marriage.

00:26:14
You've just reserved yourself to the
fact that those hard times are something

00:26:19
that you're going to get through.

00:26:19
You're going to weather that storm
and you're going to get through it,

00:26:23
and you're going to be
better because of it.

00:26:25
And that's because you're
constantly trying to get better.

00:26:28
You're constantly praying

00:26:32
for the power, the energy,

00:26:37
for the knowledge,

00:26:38
for whatever it takes to get through
those trying times that you're having in

00:26:43
your marriage. And you'll.

00:26:45
Come up from the other side.
Well, we going through side, well,

00:26:46
we were going a hard time,

00:26:47
and as I was saying is that
the kids were even praying

00:26:52
you were gone so early in the
morning to super late at night,

00:26:56
and I don't think we both realized what
you were getting into because you do

00:27:01
consulting. And that's what
I thought it was going to be.

00:27:04
I didn't think you were going to have
to try to build a company from the floor

00:27:09
up and deal with all these
problems. I mean, right now,

00:27:13
you're so blessed. You have this,
you're doing what you need to be doing.

00:27:17
You're at a different time of your life.

00:27:19
You're not starting a business from
scratch. The infant tapout days are done,

00:27:24
and it was worse than that. And I was
just like, you got to be kidding me.

00:27:29
See,

00:27:29
I saw you maybe five minutes a day
in the kids for an entire year,

00:27:34
and we would pray over you every single
day. And at the end when I felt like,

00:27:39
I can't do this anymore. This
isn't what I signed up for.

00:27:43
Well, it became just.

00:27:43
For weekends, then God
answered the prayer.

00:27:46
I was just going through
so much medically.

00:27:50
I was in a strange place. Nobody
was checking in on me. Gosh,

00:27:53
even when my mom passed away,

00:27:56
your fricking people that you
worked with didn't even send flat.

00:28:00
It was just a weird situation.

00:28:04
But all of a sudden,

00:28:06
God opened the door to bigger and
better things where this is the

00:28:10
consulting that you were used to.

00:28:13
You do the calls and that's what you do.

00:28:18
God will, everybody's going to go
through stuff, but God is going.

00:28:22
To, but God will close doors that are
meant to be closed. If are close to him,

00:28:26
he will end it and he
will open the right doors.

00:28:29
Absolutely. I believe that
with everything in my heart.

00:28:33
So if you guys are
going through something,

00:28:36
just know that there's always
peaks and valleys in every

00:28:41
relationship and everybody's
going through something hard.

00:28:44
I know with this Instagram life,

00:28:48
you can scroll through Instagram and
see all these marriages that look like

00:28:51
they're perfect and they're just not.
Everybody goes through hard times. I mean,

00:28:55
everybody's going through situations.
We all have our own stuff, including us,

00:29:00
and I think that we're always
excited to be better people.

00:29:05
I think I've never been in a place
in my life where I was more excited

00:29:10
to understand you better
so that I understand

00:29:15
myself and difficult
understanding relationships.

00:29:19
I's D, how do you understand?

00:29:21
Because I understand. I'm
kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

00:29:24
I understand what's going on with you,
and it helps me understand like, geez,

00:29:28
geez, Louise. Is this me
or is this me or is this,

00:29:32
am I crazy? Or what's going on
here? Yes. And then I realize, no,

00:29:37
women sometimes just do
this. They just do this,

00:29:41
and you're just got to deal with it.

00:29:43
It's like if you have both feet
in the bathtub and you just know,

00:29:47
you're just like, okay,

00:29:49
just buckle up because
you just have to deal.

00:29:53
With this. I just want to be
seen and I want to be loved,

00:29:55
and I want to be understood,
and sometimes I need some help.

00:29:59
Sometimes I love it. I
feel like you're the best.

00:30:04
If your load is big, I want to
help you. Or if my load is big,

00:30:09
then I just want you to help me.
And I don't want you to feel like,

00:30:14
oh, it's woman's work. You were a little.

00:30:18
Bit, I know you wanted me to
mop the floors. I was like,

00:30:23
why was that such a
big deal? Because, but.

00:30:25
That's your pride or your ego. I don't.

00:30:27
Know. Something weird. No, no.
It wasn't that at all. But.

00:30:29
My European family, they
cooked together. Okay.

00:30:32
I'm sorry. They cleaned
together. I apologized to, but.

00:30:35
I think this is what you need to look
at it, and you've never cooked with me,

00:30:39
but I would like to have you cook
with me because Daniel's interested in

00:30:43
cooking,

00:30:44
and I just want him to be able
to not have to lean into a

00:30:49
woman to cook for him. I don't want
him to ever grow up and say, oh,

00:30:53
I need to be with just the first
girl I could locked down because I

00:30:58
don't know how to cook. I want
him to, I get it, be empowered,

00:31:02
and I want him to be able to
absolutely have a nice clean home.

00:31:05
I want to teach him all the
things that my brother knew.

00:31:10
My brother, when my mom was working late,

00:31:12
sometimes we weren't always
in the store with her,

00:31:15
but he would cook beautiful
steak dinners, paprika, goulash,

00:31:19
chika, paprika,

00:31:21
all these Hungarian foods. He knew
the recipes and she taught us how to

00:31:25
cook at a very young age.

00:31:27
Cabbage rolls everything because she
wanted nutrition was really important

00:31:32
to her. And cooking from scratch
was really important to her.

00:31:35
We had beautiful skin while everybody
else had big pimples and stuff

00:31:40
in school, but because she
made everything from scratch,

00:31:42
somehow we bypassed that
situation, thank goodness.

00:31:47
But anyway, he was nourishing me.

00:31:52
And I think that that's the thing is
I don't want you to feel like, oh,

00:31:55
I'm doing women's work,

00:31:56
but let's be proud if we are nourishing

00:32:01
our children and helping
them to be their best.

00:32:05
And strong. I help the.

00:32:05
House a lot. No, you do. You do. I, but
I just feel like there was some kind.

00:32:10
Of, it was pullback. It was the moment.

00:32:11
Maybe because you were the, it was the.

00:32:13
Moment.

00:32:13
Guy.

00:32:14
Was No, no, no, no redneck,
no like tough guy. No,

00:32:19
we just got.

00:32:19
Manly.

00:32:20
Man. I just wanted to hire a housekeeper.

00:32:25
I don't even just,

00:32:26
I think watching my mom
being so proud, I am proud.

00:32:32
I want to do those things myself,
and I want my kids to see, yes,

00:32:36
we have a beautiful home, but I
take care of it myself. Myself.

00:32:39
It's a whole nother podcast. I get it.

00:32:42
I get it. We can do that
podcast too. But guys,

00:32:46
I just want to let you know that listen,
keep God first place in your marriage.

00:32:50
Know that you control your own destiny.

00:32:54
These statistics are fine,
but at the end of the day.

00:32:57
Your mindset, you control.

00:32:59
Your destiny.

00:32:59
You know what you want in life. If you.

00:33:01
Want your marriage.

00:33:01
To work, don't let
anything anyone sway you.

00:33:05
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Couldn't be better said.

00:33:08
I come from a broken marriage.
Something went wrong because my mom,

00:33:13
as I said, very honest,
she said, 27 years,

00:33:17
your father was the best family man I've

00:33:22
ever come across. And
then something happened.

00:33:26
He started hanging out
with a crowd and something

00:33:30
happened. And it's sad
because it was hard for us,

00:33:34
and I know that my
brother that passed away,

00:33:37
if my parents were together,

00:33:40
he wouldn't have had to feel like he
took on this position to be the father

00:33:45
figure,

00:33:46
to want to bring in extra money by
taking this construction job and

00:33:51
passing away tragically by
accident. Just by accident.

00:33:56
And I know things would've
been different, maybe.

00:34:00
I mean, I don't know. I just
have to trust God and just be so,

00:34:04
so grateful that I had 'em for
the years that I had 'em for.

00:34:07
We never fought one time. Do you
know that? Yeah, I've told you that.

00:34:11
I think I tell the kids
that too. But anyway.

00:34:14
I feel very blessed that my parents
are still married today and that that's

00:34:19
nice. I have that because I think it
gave me a north star for my marriage.

00:34:24
I said, if I ever got married,
I was never getting a divorce.

00:34:27
I would fight for this marriage and do
whatever it took to make sure that this

00:34:32
worked out. And whether we had,

00:34:38
I'm always willing to go to
counseling or whatever. If I'm wrong,

00:34:42
I want to be better. I want to
find, don't look at me like that.

00:34:46
You hate being.

00:34:46
Wrong. I know I hate being
wrong. You always willing to be.

00:34:48
Doesn't mean I don't want to be
better. I just want to not be wrong to,

00:34:52
I want to be better, want to
better, want to be better, want us.

00:34:54
To better. And I want everyone out
there to want to be better too.

00:34:58
And please, please, please, just
don't get swayed. Don't just

00:35:04
in your heart what you need to do and
just God will lead you in the right.

00:35:09
Direction. Keep God first place.

00:35:11
Thank you guys for listening to this
episode of the Pretty Punk Podcast,

00:35:15
and we will catch you guys next.

00:35:17
Week. God bless. Thank you for joining us.

00:35:20
We appreciate you for listening
to the Pretty Punk Podcast.

00:35:25
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00:35:30
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00:35:35
God bless. Love you guys.
Thank you listening.

00:35:39
I hope that your life.