Why It's Urgent To Embrace Your Calling! Saving Marriage!

[00:00:00] Is your California dream feeling more and more distant?

[00:00:06] You've got countless apps and influencers telling you how to do it their way.

[00:00:12] And your expert aunt who might be giving a bit too much advice.

[00:00:17] Tips, hacks and experts are everywhere these days.

[00:00:21] But when it comes to real estate, the question to ask is, who's your realtor?

[00:00:27] Because a California realtor is the only person who can bring your dream home.

[00:00:32] Someone who gets that buying a home is one of the most complicated and stressful things you can do,

[00:00:38] but can still make it possible on your budget.

[00:00:41] A California realtor can read the constantly shifting market.

[00:00:45] And they're out in front for all of the tough stuff.

[00:00:48] So you can get to the good stuff.

[00:00:50] So who's your realtor?

[00:00:52] Because no one cares more about helping Californians live the California dream than California realtors.

[00:01:22] My Rewards Tell Your Lawmakers Hands Off My Rewards

[00:01:26] Tell Them To Oppose The Durban Martial Credit Card Bill

[00:01:30] There's all this illusion out there like, oh it's so great.

[00:01:34] You get to drop the kids off on the weekend.

[00:01:38] Someone else might be walking your daughter down the aisle.

[00:01:42] Someone else is going to be a figure for your son.

[00:01:46] Like that's the way it's gonna be.

[00:01:48] You're never going to be close with your children.

[00:01:51] The way you would be if you could have kept things together.

[00:01:55] Uh, no.

[00:02:03] Ooh that's better right babe?

[00:02:05] Yeah!

[00:02:07] Yeah.

[00:02:10] She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:02:13] He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:02:16] She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:02:19] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:02:23] Together we started a business.

[00:02:25] And had babies.

[00:02:26] Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:02:28] Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:02:33] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:02:37] And everything in between.

[00:02:39] A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this.

[00:02:46] They should never ever give up.

[00:02:49] There is no sense being as a perfect marriage.

[00:02:53] Because it is made of un-perfect people.

[00:02:57] Keep God first place.

[00:03:00] Welcome to the Pretty and Punk Podcast.

[00:03:03] I'm your host Dan Caldwell and I'm here with my beautiful wife,

[00:03:06] Yildiko Ferenzi.

[00:03:08] And we have another great podcast for you guys today.

[00:03:11] And really we just wanted to really jump on here because there's been a lot of things going on in our life.

[00:03:16] And just talk about the calling that we feel that we have on our hearts right now

[00:03:23] to do this podcast and how excited we are to do this podcast.

[00:03:27] Because we just feel cold.

[00:03:29] I don't know, do you have a better explanation for it?

[00:03:32] But there were so many things that kind of led us here.

[00:03:35] Right. And even the way that it fell into place.

[00:03:39] It all started when you and I were going through the hardest time of our lives.

[00:03:46] And there's a lot of illusion and shiny, beautiful things on Instagram.

[00:03:54] And at that time Instagram was really big because you take beautiful pictures with your family.

[00:04:00] And people were messaging us asking us how we had this perfect family.

[00:04:07] We had just had a baby girl and for many years I couldn't get pregnant.

[00:04:13] I didn't have the son that my miracle son that I had and everything seemed so perfect.

[00:04:22] But behind the curtain, I was actually fighting for my life.

[00:04:27] And I guess I just felt this calling of you need to start a podcast.

[00:04:37] Which it came out of nowhere.

[00:04:41] And Dan and I because we...

[00:04:44] Well, I thought at first I really didn't want to do it.

[00:04:47] Right.

[00:04:48] I felt like it was going to pick up a lot of time.

[00:04:51] Well with what we were going through too.

[00:04:54] And the only thing we could do when you're up against a wall and you're told the worst news of your life.

[00:05:03] And it wasn't just that my mother is everybody.

[00:05:09] Everybody's parents are getting older.

[00:05:11] They're getting sick and she was fighting for her life.

[00:05:14] She fought...

[00:05:17] She was still in the middle of the fight for her life.

[00:05:20] So I'm taking care of her.

[00:05:22] I'm taking care of two babies.

[00:05:24] Then I get this dreadful news.

[00:05:26] We're up against the wall.

[00:05:27] The only thing and Dan and I we always try to figure everything out ourselves and solve everything and have a solution.

[00:05:37] The only thing we had left to do was fall to our knees and pray.

[00:05:42] And this weird thing kept coming to me.

[00:05:45] This message, this voice.

[00:05:47] You need to start a podcast.

[00:05:49] You need to pull back the curtains.

[00:05:51] Nobody else is doing this type of message.

[00:05:56] And you can get to everybody through a podcast.

[00:06:00] And that's kind of how it all started.

[00:06:03] I think too we had some discussions about like because we were getting people saying,

[00:06:07] oh you know then it was just casual nice comments.

[00:06:10] Really really nice.

[00:06:11] Trying to be nice by saying, oh you're such a beautiful family.

[00:06:16] You guys are so lucky and everything is great.

[00:06:19] And we just weren't feeling like that.

[00:06:21] And that was our fault too because we were posting those types of photos.

[00:06:24] So we're, you know, we want to post photos that are happy.

[00:06:28] Nobody wants to, you know, we don't want to post.

[00:06:30] No, no, but in some way we didn't have an outlet to really speak about what was going on, you know,

[00:06:39] because to throw a photo up there it always feels kind of I don't know even sometimes on here it feels like,

[00:06:44] you know, you don't want pity.

[00:06:46] We don't know looking for pity.

[00:06:48] Absolutely.

[00:06:49] And so you don't want to throw a photo up and go, well, you know, pour me and I know because everybody like that.

[00:06:55] My mom would have slapped the sadness.

[00:06:58] Hungarian European mom and she whenever I went to that place of, you know,

[00:07:07] sometimes as a teenager or a child, you kind of lean towards victim for a second and she'll slap that out of me.

[00:07:16] Not physically, but that is not you.

[00:07:19] You are even when the doctors gave me the worst news even after this dreadful, crazy surgery, life-saving surgery.

[00:07:28] They said just something that I didn't want to hear.

[00:07:32] And I told my mom and I was kind of scared because she's fighting her own battle.

[00:07:36] She's not 100% strong at that point, but she looked at me in the eyes and just like when I was a kid, she said,

[00:07:45] but that's not you.

[00:07:46] That is not your story.

[00:07:48] Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:07:52] And if you are and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button, it just takes a second.

[00:07:57] It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there to more listeners like you guys.

[00:08:03] And if you know anybody, it might help and you can send it to them.

[00:08:07] We really appreciate that too.

[00:08:09] We also love and appreciate your reviews.

[00:08:12] Even the babies look forward to them every day.

[00:08:15] If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us.

[00:08:19] We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business.

[00:08:24] And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:08:27] That's worth a shout out.

[00:08:29] Together we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:08:32] And we just want to put it out there.

[00:08:34] We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible and you are our family.

[00:08:41] And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:08:46] So don't forget all the links are below in the show notes.

[00:08:51] And thank you again.

[00:08:53] And let's get back to the show.

[00:08:54] And just like when I was a kid, she said, but that's not you.

[00:08:59] That is not your story.

[00:09:01] And it just gave me this hope.

[00:09:03] And plus nothing is stronger than a year.

[00:09:06] Well, any mother's prayers, any mother's prayers and every single day she was praying over me.

[00:09:12] So I just did not.

[00:09:15] She nobody should fall into that victim.

[00:09:20] We are victors.

[00:09:21] That's how God created us to be.

[00:09:23] And then you have to lean into that place of I was chosen.

[00:09:31] You need to turn it into a blessing because God's not going to give you anything you can't handle because I could have gotten so lost in it.

[00:09:40] Perhaps this is my last baby.

[00:09:43] I had a very hard time having Daniel, but then this is so crazy.

[00:09:48] And if you don't know the story, my son at two years old told me he wanted a baby sister.

[00:09:54] I just looked at him like he came from out of space.

[00:09:57] What do you mean?

[00:09:58] It took me years and years and years of heartbreak to have you, but you can't say this to a child.

[00:10:03] But where is this coming from?

[00:10:05] It's got to be God.

[00:10:07] It's got to be a month later after his birthday, I was pregnant and he kept kissing my belly.

[00:10:14] I had a little something to do with that too.

[00:10:16] I just don't want to forget about me.

[00:10:19] I know, but it's a miracle moment and everything was so happy.

[00:10:24] And I have this baby that perhaps I'd love to have two more.

[00:10:28] We would love to have two more.

[00:10:31] But whatever, it's all in God's hands.

[00:10:34] But at that moment I knew perhaps this was my last one and then just getting that horrific news from the doctor.

[00:10:42] And it's just like people out there are not that I was lying and deceiving.

[00:10:48] I don't want, as Dan said, I don't want to play the victim.

[00:10:53] I don't want anybody to even know because I don't want people to say, oh, that's the lady that, you know, that sick girl or the sick chick or whatever, whatever.

[00:11:04] She's going through this and that.

[00:11:05] I didn't want them to know, but when we would have the conversations with other couples and I said, gosh, they're going through this thing because I feel so blessed when we have conversations with other couples.

[00:11:19] They open up and I learned so much about the struggles that they've gone through.

[00:11:25] Right.

[00:11:26] And I feel blessed too.

[00:11:27] Like I feel like that's why there's like this.

[00:11:30] We have to like get this out to people.

[00:11:33] I mean, every time you look at your phone today, like it was a Tory spelling, getting a divorce, every time I turn around, it seems like every single day and not that, you know, of course, you know, there's a lot of people in the world, but it seems like every single day there's somebody getting a divorce.

[00:11:49] Right.

[00:11:50] Somebody that you know or a good friend or some superstar or musician or whoever it is.

[00:11:55] I'm really on my heart right now.

[00:11:57] I'm seeing a lot of people that I used to be in the industry with and they're single moms now.

[00:12:05] And that is the most heartbreaking thing for me.

[00:12:08] My mom was a single mom and I don't, I don't wish that upon anybody, anybody.

[00:12:15] She had to work so hard.

[00:12:17] And I was very, very proud of her growing up and I'm still incredibly proud of her, but nobody should have to have that life.

[00:12:26] And then I find this letter about how she loved my dad and nobody else in her life because when I don't know if you guys know, but I haven't really talked about it.

[00:12:40] She passed away and her anniversary is coming up.

[00:12:45] So it's hard, but when you have to go through someone's things and she didn't want anybody else going through her things, but me.

[00:12:53] So you're finding a lot of personal items and letters and it's hard because she said she never loved anybody as much as my father,

[00:13:03] but he heard her so deeply and he was going through a phase.

[00:13:11] And, you know, he wasn't, he was the best family man for many, many years and then something happened.

[00:13:18] He fell off and he heard her very, very, very badly to the point where she couldn't forgive him.

[00:13:25] And he told her, he said, I can't be alone.

[00:13:29] I want to be with you first and foremost, but I can't be alone.

[00:13:33] And then he got remarried and this is what happens sometimes.

[00:13:38] So I'm not, I love my father.

[00:13:41] I forgive my father, but I'm not close to him because I'm going to be the one to tell you divorce is not easy and it changes the family.

[00:13:50] If you can go back to your ex, do that because it's never going to be the same.

[00:13:57] And there's all this illusion out there like, oh, it's so great.

[00:14:01] You get to drop the kids off on the weekend.

[00:14:04] Someone else might be walking your daughter down the aisle.

[00:14:09] Someone else is going to be a figure for your son.

[00:14:13] Like it's, that's the way it's going to be.

[00:14:15] You're never going to be close with your children the way you would be if you could have kept things together.

[00:14:22] So when I see this coming from a single mother who did everything, everything, she lived for us.

[00:14:31] She basically dedicated, she knew she would never love another man.

[00:14:36] She hated men actually.

[00:14:38] But this letter said that she had always, she just had this pain, this pain forever.

[00:14:45] And I hate to think that she died like that.

[00:14:47] That's awful when it breaks my heart.

[00:14:50] But like it just hurts me to see this happening and that people don't have a community to lean into.

[00:14:58] I know even when you and I were having troubles, people are, oh, just leave them, leave them.

[00:15:05] And these are the problems. People don't want to work on things.

[00:15:09] Find someone better.

[00:15:11] Marriage is not easy. We've said this before, but marriage is not easy.

[00:15:14] And it takes work and it's not always going to be perfect.

[00:15:17] And I think people are too quick to throw in the towel.

[00:15:20] Something happens in their life and I understand there's bigger things.

[00:15:24] If there's abuse or cheating, that's a whole other level and you have to work through that and figure that out.

[00:15:32] Sometimes you can forgive and sometimes you can't. Your heart can't take it.

[00:15:37] But I just think people are too quick to throw in the towel. They're just too quick.

[00:15:43] This isn't the way I wanted it. It's not the way I thought it would be or whatever it is.

[00:15:48] And they're just like, let's not work on anything.

[00:15:51] Let's just get a new husband and a new wife.

[00:15:54] A new life. New husband, new wife, new life.

[00:15:56] I'm telling you it's not that easy.

[00:15:59] I'm trying desperately to talk to my father and I'm telling you it's not that easy.

[00:16:06] Things are difficult.

[00:16:08] There comes a...

[00:16:10] I have to speak through my stepmom to try to talk to my dad.

[00:16:14] And in a relationship that's moved on, if she's not comfortable with me,

[00:16:24] I have to respect that.

[00:16:26] Now, that's just the way that it is.

[00:16:28] It's a weird situation.

[00:16:30] It is a weird situation, but she's not comfortable so I have to respect her.

[00:16:35] Because I don't want my dad to die alone. Are you kidding me?

[00:16:40] I love him so much that I want him to be happy.

[00:16:44] Well, that's why we hope that this podcast reaches the right people.

[00:16:48] We prayed before this podcast. We prayed before every podcast.

[00:16:52] But we always just want to make sure...

[00:16:54] We want to make sure we want to hope that we are being a blessing to someone who's listening to the podcast.

[00:17:02] We hope that we're saying the right words sometimes when they come out.

[00:17:05] At least to have a community to lean into, a community, and this is so important,

[00:17:12] a community that is going to not just take your side, but love your spouse too.

[00:17:21] And wish the best for them and for the best of you two together.

[00:17:27] Don't just... Because I feel like when you're angry or you're sad,

[00:17:32] you can become influenced very easily.

[00:17:35] So if people are, yeah, he's just a jerk. You're right. You're right.

[00:17:40] Sometimes in that weak point, rather than getting to the bottom with your friend.

[00:17:46] If you truly love your friend, you're going to have...

[00:17:50] You're gonna have to have this response, this godly...

[00:17:53] It's a godly marriage.

[00:17:55] And the devil comes to seek and destroy and to kill and all those things.

[00:18:02] And sometimes it comes to your friends.

[00:18:04] Now what I know, it's not the Holy Spirit that's coming through the people that are closest to you.

[00:18:11] Sometimes it's the complete opposite.

[00:18:13] Right.

[00:18:14] You can come but she can't come. He can come.

[00:18:17] Or like just... It's just trying to rip couples apart.

[00:18:22] And I've never seen it stronger than it is today.

[00:18:26] And I hate to see that it's winning.

[00:18:28] So if you have a community, just really start to look at things different.

[00:18:34] Don't feel like, okay, I need everybody on my side.

[00:18:39] See, see, see I was right.

[00:18:42] Sometimes you need to do the hard truth and take accountability.

[00:18:46] It's not fun. It's not a great feeling, but you have to take accountability.

[00:18:51] It takes two people to disagree.

[00:18:54] It takes two people to do things wrong.

[00:18:57] And sometimes it can go downwards, spiral downwards in such a negative way that it can never be repaired.

[00:19:07] But those are the good guys that help you to take accountability and put you into your spouse's shoes so that you can make up those people.

[00:19:18] And I hope that we're that community that help you maybe just look at things differently.

[00:19:25] Or maybe your friends are going through a hard time and you're sitting back.

[00:19:30] Be that voice, be that you could save those children's lives.

[00:19:36] It is so hard when you go through a divorce.

[00:19:39] It sucks because I'm really not close to my dad.

[00:19:42] Like, I don't feel, I don't feel sad.

[00:19:45] My brother was my father figure and my mom was my everything.

[00:19:49] So there's just such a bond there because we've been through so much together and I miss her.

[00:19:56] And it's just like, I'm always just trying to do the right thing and reach out,

[00:19:59] but I never want to cause problems for anyone.

[00:20:02] So anyway, every family culture is different.

[00:20:08] Everybody's families dynamics are different.

[00:20:11] But if you could be the voice like I just wish that my dad had those types of people in his life that were like dude, give your head a shake.

[00:20:21] Like my mom was a phenomenal woman, phenomenal woman.

[00:20:27] But she was so sensitive and her heart broke when, when, you know, something happened and I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but her heart broke.

[00:20:37] And if maybe she had those people that are like just try to forgive him.

[00:20:42] And if he had the right people on his team, you know, but the devil he comes and he'll try to break you guys up.

[00:20:49] It's happened to us in our relationship and it's happened to so many people around us.

[00:20:55] And some of them are winning and some of them are losing the fight and it's hard.

[00:21:00] Running a business, you know, that's why we, one of the reasons why we really felt like this podcast was important because there's, you know, relationships are hard by themselves.

[00:21:07] Marriage is hard by itself.

[00:21:09] But when you're not too far.

[00:21:10] But when you're also running a business and you really care about your kids, you know, so you're, you're feeling on this, you're on this heightened journey.

[00:21:18] If you will.

[00:21:19] Yeah.

[00:21:20] To, to, you know, because we homeschool our kids, our kids are homeschooled.

[00:21:24] A lot of our friends do that.

[00:21:25] We're running a business, multiple businesses and we're, and, you know, trying to keep our marriage a great marriage, a great godly marriage and putting all those pieces together.

[00:21:36] Sometimes, you know, when God's in the middle of it, it's so much better and like everything seems to be working great.

[00:21:43] And then sometimes, you know, just one thing and we're sideways.

[00:21:47] Could you imagine if God wasn't in our lives as strong as he is?

[00:21:52] I know, I've, I mean always, I've always been religious, but I know that there was a time when I wasn't as close to him as I should have been.

[00:22:02] And those are the times when things went a little sideways and crooked and upside down and now looking back at it.

[00:22:10] And even when we fight, the truth is, I mean last night didn't, and I had a fight and, and I know that that wasn't a godly thing.

[00:22:20] He said some things that really hurt me and I'll tell you, no, I'm not going to tell you guys because I would, and that's the other thing.

[00:22:26] Like don't, don't talk about it with your, don't talk about the negative things.

[00:22:31] Don't like straight out say it. It's hard. How do I even put?

[00:22:35] The truth is, I don't even know what we were fighting about, but I know we didn't do the podcast because of the argument.

[00:22:41] And so, you know, it's like, it doesn't matter.

[00:22:44] So they get, you know, it's like, we had a stress on us because we needed to film the podcast.

[00:22:50] There's a lot of different stresses. How stressed?

[00:22:52] And then something comes up. I think I have something to do with.

[00:22:55] I got to lift all the sudden.

[00:22:57] I've been telling you we need to do the podcast or you're telling me that we need to go.

[00:23:01] Well, I mean, we have a bunch of something that there was just this specific one that I'm telling you it's the devil because it's this specific one.

[00:23:09] We have a lot in queue. Okay.

[00:23:11] Everybody has a bunch of podcasts that they've done in queue, but because we're seeing all these people breaking up for some reason or another.

[00:23:21] We started fighting about the stupidest thing and it was so late at night and he's, I'm not doing it.

[00:23:28] And then finally I'm like, and I need to throw me under the bus.

[00:23:32] No, but this is the interesting part is because in my, yeah, you threw his tantrum and he walked out.

[00:23:39] Then he came back in and then at that time I looked at the clock and it was so late.

[00:23:45] And I was like, you know what? I'm going to bed. I need my health. I need to go to bed.

[00:23:51] But I never got to go to bed because the baby had a little accident.

[00:23:57] So then we're up at night cleaning the carpet and then we kind of reconnected through that because he's grumpy,

[00:24:04] but then he feels bad and then he helps me because it was a mess.

[00:24:08] And it's so crazy because we, well, yeah, we both did. I mean, we both did.

[00:24:15] I had to clean up the baby and, but never has there been a potty problem until that the devil didn't want us to get on here.

[00:24:27] The devil doesn't sleep.

[00:24:28] He doesn't. My mom would always say that.

[00:24:32] No more Lude anyway. So I just, I just want you guys to don't give up.

[00:24:43] Okay. I mean, the whole thing is don't give up.

[00:24:46] Make sure you're surrounded by a community that you could really lean into.

[00:24:52] Don't talk negatively about your spouse. You can say that there's problems and it's a fine line.

[00:24:58] This is what I was going to ask you about. I mean, what are the words because they say don't talk to family or friends about your spouse negatively because of the whole situation of they may sway you in a way.

[00:25:14] Unless there's danger, if there's abuse like this, you need to talk to somebody and somebody, you know, maybe you don't know, maybe you're not,

[00:25:22] maybe you're feeling like, you know, you have no way to talk to you. It's that situation.

[00:25:27] That's very need to talk to somebody and hopefully they give you good advice, but you know, you don't want to be and you don't want to be in somebody like a close friend or about what's something going on in your relationship.

[00:25:39] Just make sure that you're framing it in a way that isn't putting your spouse down.

[00:25:46] You're looking for some advice if you don't have any and, you know, I would suggest getting a counselor.

[00:25:54] A counselor, but I feel like if you have good people in your life, like my mom was very fair. She loved me and obviously I was her number one, but she knows as a parent.

[00:26:08] Well, she was, she would get mad at you. Yes, but she also knew my weaknesses and my strength and she was always very honest with me because the last thing you want, especially European mothers,

[00:26:25] the last thing they want is for you to be delusional and think you're perfect. She wanted to help me be my very best and that's the worst thing you can do to someone is look them in the eye just because you love them and say, yeah, you're right.

[00:26:43] Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with Dan. No, your mom would tell you the straight truth. She would always tell me the straight truth, but she would also tell you the straight truth.

[00:26:52] Yeah. Well, I didn't understand all of it. I understood about half of it. But she would be very honest is he's probably going through a lot of stress from his ex and this and that.

[00:27:04] So you have to understand sometimes men get very, they deal with things in a different way and she would make me go, oh yeah, okay.

[00:27:14] I didn't really think about that. Like, why is he just snapping for no reason? And she'd know about like past trauma and all this and that and the pressures of

[00:27:26] We're a work in progress.

[00:27:28] No, but it was so it was so cool to have that honesty and that there I have a handful of people in my life that I know I can trust their word.

[00:27:40] And I guess that's what I'm trying to say is just lean into that type of community. And I hope that some of the things that we say trigger you to be your personal best in that way that my mom and these friends that are

[00:27:58] That I look up to because they have strong marriages, they have good marriages, but they have honest marriages. I hate the fact that I've even felt bad myself because I'm like, look at this couple like they're so perfect and

[00:28:14] I wish we could be this way or that way. This is not not now, but a few years earlier.

[00:28:20] Yeah, I feel like we're in a really good place right now.

[00:28:23] And I'm like, where did this come from? How did he start to cheat? Like whatever is going on? How did this all happen?

[00:28:33] Right.

[00:28:34] I wish that they had those people to lean into it.

[00:28:37] Who's are we looking at yesterday? Oh,

[00:28:38] It doesn't even matter. We can't say names, but it just it's too many people and it's so many people.

[00:28:43] Yeah, it's just surprising sometimes. And listen, guys, we're not perfect. We're so far from perfect.

[00:28:48] And especially you.

[00:28:51] Especially me. What is that?

[00:28:54] Especially me. Listen, okay, I'm a flawed human being, but listen, I but we I'm we're both constantly trying to be better.

[00:29:04] Yes, I love that.

[00:29:05] And if we give advice on the show, it's not meant to be. We're not psychotherapists or or psychologist or whatever.

[00:29:14] No, but we've learned a lot of lessons.

[00:29:16] Can we just say we've learned our way sometimes?

[00:29:19] So learn from our mistakes and our lessons. Gosh, if anything I mean from our business

[00:29:25] mistakes and relationship, I think our books, you know, and things that and yes,

[00:29:30] and just being eager to be better, you know, finding yourself wanting to be a better human being to be a better husband or a better wife.

[00:29:39] The opposite of that. I got a long way to go there, but it's like it's true.

[00:29:44] It's true towards that is, you know, constantly making you better, but you got to want to be better.

[00:29:51] You know, and I think we're just in this place in our life where we don't want to be a statistic.

[00:29:56] Yeah, we want to be better. And so we're always constantly trying to, you know, how do we but still, you know, like last night, we just were on our,

[00:30:05] we were both on our last nerve from whatever.

[00:30:07] Yeah.

[00:30:08] And and I find myself sideways a little bit.

[00:30:12] I find myself feeling really exiled. This is so funny.

[00:30:16] I just had a flashback.

[00:30:18] I remember in our, our acting class every day when we would come in, we'd have to check in and I feel I just I've been feeling really exhausted lately, like overstimulated exhausted.

[00:30:31] And I have to just catch myself and you have to do your personal inventory and that was our personal inventory that we would do.

[00:30:40] We'd have to be I'm feeling angry.

[00:30:42] I'm feeling sad.

[00:30:43] I'm feeling exhausted.

[00:30:44] And sometimes that would help you do a better commitment to the scenes and be for me, my whole goal in acting.

[00:30:53] I know a lot of people don't know like acting.

[00:30:56] It's like, oh, you're pretending you're faking, but my goal always to be to be as honest as possible.

[00:31:05] That was my challenge from my acting coach.

[00:31:07] And I feel like that's helped me a lot in life because I'd always try to put on a mask and not cry when I'm sad.

[00:31:15] And I feel like that's been such a blessing and to also help bring out other people's deep emotions.

[00:31:22] And I could feel what people are truly feeling in the moment.

[00:31:28] And I just helped them acknowledge that that's I really, I know that our producers are, are focusing on you and I,

[00:31:35] because those episodes are doing better.

[00:31:37] But I do love doing the interviews so much because I love to bring out that honesty and that,

[00:31:44] that truth of the things that they've gone through.

[00:31:48] But I understand the producer.

[00:31:50] And we and another thing too.

[00:31:52] And like, thank you guys for listening because we feel very blessed to be on the top five in top five in parenting on our podcast,

[00:32:00] on Apple podcast.

[00:32:02] I know. Can you imagine like this was just that calling from God that we decided to go in and we really fell in love with it.

[00:32:13] I feel like when you are able to move things for other people and help them get closer to God and,

[00:32:24] and look at themselves in a different way, help them take accountability because that's a beautiful thing.

[00:32:30] You take accountability and you start being your very best self.

[00:32:34] And then you examine your life.

[00:32:37] For me, I, I can't feel sorry for myself because there's so many blessings in these tragedies and these obstacles that have happened.

[00:32:49] And then other people share their stories and what a blessing it is to always hear their stories and have them open up

[00:32:57] and hear these things that they've never shared with anybody else.

[00:33:00] And then all of a sudden they're speaking on stages when this was the secret thing that they held so close to their heart.

[00:33:07] And now they're changing other people's lives.

[00:33:10] So sometimes we may not change the world.

[00:33:14] Maybe Dana and I might not change the world, but we may change that one that may change.

[00:33:20] I love Charles up my partner's quote passed away.

[00:33:23] Unfortunately.

[00:33:24] I love that quote.

[00:33:25] You know, maybe I won't be the one who touches a million people, but maybe I'll touch that one person that touches a million people.

[00:33:35] And that's really what we want to do with this podcast is we just want, we hope we can touch that one person that needs it,

[00:33:42] whether it's a one or a million or, or that or 10 or 50 or whatever that person is that's going through something in their marriage or going through something in their business or with their kids.

[00:33:54] And we say the right thing at the right time because that's what we need.

[00:33:59] You know, that's what people need and that's what happens to God is that it tends to be and it's happened to us a million times.

[00:34:06] We say it all the time to each other.

[00:34:07] Can you believe that just happened right now?

[00:34:10] Like somebody just said that right now.

[00:34:11] Like that's exactly what we were talking about or will be in church and and the sermon will be about something that we're going through.

[00:34:19] And I'm like, wow, was that meant for us or what?

[00:34:23] And I'm sure you guys have experienced that before and that's exactly what we want to be for you.

[00:34:28] So we thank you so much for listening to this podcast.

[00:34:31] It is such a blessing to both of us.

[00:34:33] And I hope it's a blessing to you because we really it's therapeutic for us in so many ways to be able to talk about this stuff.

[00:34:39] Because like we said, we don't want to be this.

[00:34:42] We want to put out great Instagram photos like anybody else.

[00:34:47] But I'm crying because I'm so happy.

[00:34:49] I'm not sad.

[00:34:50] My kids always ask me when I'm really happy or they're having this moment and I just I'm like, God, I'm so lucky.

[00:34:59] I'm so blessed.

[00:35:00] That's the moment I'm feeling right now.

[00:35:02] I'm so happy that we that I convinced my husband to do this podcast and I'm just so so happy.

[00:35:10] I'm so grateful for this platform.

[00:35:13] And we're really loving doing the podcast.

[00:35:16] We really enjoy doing this.

[00:35:18] I hope it's helpful for you guys.

[00:35:20] We love you guys so much.

[00:35:22] Thank you for listening and thank you for leaving reviews for us.

[00:35:28] Yes, we love it.

[00:35:30] I think there's last week's podcast that we did that we actually read a letter for the first time on our podcast.

[00:35:38] Because we're getting on an email and because we're and I think we'll probably do that more.

[00:35:43] Yeah, I mean if you guys have any Q&A's we get a lot of them and I thought I was running it by the producers and they're like, yeah, maybe we'll put some of these because that was a big big letter.

[00:35:56] That was a and and it's hard because I'm just always praying we say the right things but we have a lot of little Q&A's that they said that we could probably build together.

[00:36:07] And answer the one after the other.

[00:36:09] Yeah, we'd like to look forward to maybe even asking and answering a few questions like shorter ones before our full podcast or before we actually tackle a subject.

[00:36:18] Oh, I know you were saying we're dead in here.

[00:36:21] Oh yeah, that's cool.

[00:36:23] So anyway, we're thinking out loud.

[00:36:25] This is what we do we're nerds.

[00:36:28] Thank you guys for listening to this episode of the Pretty in Punk podcast and thank you my beautiful daughters here with us hanging out and being a little noisy and doing some results.

[00:36:39] And thank you guys for listening and we really appreciate it and we hope you guys get something from this podcast.

[00:36:44] God bless, we love you.

[00:36:45] See you guys next week.

[00:36:47] Thank you for listening to this episode of the Pretty in Punk podcast.

[00:36:52] If you haven't subscribed, be sure to do that now.

[00:36:55] God bless.

[00:36:56] If you subscribed to the Pretty in Punk podcast, if not then hurry to hit that subscribe button.

[00:37:07] Thank you for listening.

[00:37:09] I hope this changed your life.

[00:37:12] See you next time.

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