Sometimes the Blessing Isn't Getting What You Wanted But Getting What You Needed!

[00:00:00] I believe that throughout our life, we're always in a place where we're supposed to be at that moment.

[00:00:07] Now, not maybe at that very, very second. Sometimes we get off track a little bit, but

[00:00:12] we're where we're supposed to be in that moment. Like we're there to learn a lesson

[00:00:17] or affect somebody or change something. And then, and we may feel like that's what we're

[00:00:24] supposed to do for the rest of our lives, but then something changes.

[00:00:32] Uh, no.

[00:00:37] Ooh, that's better, right, babe?

[00:00:39] Yeah!

[00:00:41] Yeah.

[00:00:43] She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:00:46] He founded a $100 million clothing company.

[00:00:49] She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:00:52] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:00:56] Together we started a business.

[00:00:58] And had babies.

[00:00:59] Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:01:01] Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:01:06] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:01:10] And everything in between.

[00:01:12] Pivoting is not the end of the disruption process,

[00:01:16] but the beginning of the next leg of your journey.

[00:01:20] Sometimes what didn't work out for you,

[00:01:23] really worked out for you.

[00:01:25] So, welcome to this episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:01:29] My name is Dan Caldwell, and I'm here with my co-host and beautiful wife.

[00:01:35] Ildiko Ferenzi.

[00:01:37] Hi, you guys.

[00:01:37] We missed you.

[00:01:39] And we have another great podcast for you guys.

[00:01:41] And we did miss you.

[00:01:42] We missed, uh, we're, well, we had, we just had a podcast last week.

[00:01:46] We have podcasts every week.

[00:01:48] I know, but I love doing the podcast.

[00:01:50] And I love to hear feedback when you guys message us on Instagram.

[00:01:54] And I just, I, I love hearing from you guys.

[00:01:58] Yeah, we love doing the podcast.

[00:01:59] We love being connected to you guys.

[00:02:01] And we, and we think this is an important subject.

[00:02:04] It's, and it's, and we're always trying to do stuff that relates to our own lives

[00:02:10] because these are things that we've gone through.

[00:02:12] Yes.

[00:02:12] And, and why we want to have that conversation with you guys.

[00:02:17] And, and it's truly, um, something that has, I think is a pivotal moment in my life,

[00:02:24] but it's the blessing in not getting what you wanted, but getting what you needed.

[00:02:32] Sometimes that door that is closed for you and it feels like the end of your life,

[00:02:41] like every, all your dreams, hopes and dreams have been crushed.

[00:02:44] But wait, wait, wait, before we get into it.

[00:02:46] But before we jump into that.

[00:02:48] Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:02:52] And if you are, and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button,

[00:02:56] it just takes a second.

[00:02:57] It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there

[00:03:00] to more listeners like you guys.

[00:03:02] And if you know anybody, it might help and you can send it to them.

[00:03:06] We really appreciate that too.

[00:03:08] We also love and appreciate your reviews.

[00:03:10] Even the babies look forward to them every day.

[00:03:13] If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us.

[00:03:18] We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business

[00:03:23] and the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:03:26] That's worth a shout out.

[00:03:27] Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:03:32] And we just want to put it out there.

[00:03:33] We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible

[00:03:37] and you are our family.

[00:03:40] And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:03:45] So don't forget the, all the links are below in the show notes.

[00:03:50] And thank you again.

[00:03:52] And let's get back to the show.

[00:03:53] Now think about it.

[00:03:55] There was something that you wanted so badly, so badly.

[00:04:00] And now years later or sometime after this desire of what you wanted to come true right away

[00:04:10] and you needed it and it never happened.

[00:04:14] And you look back and you think, wow, thank goodness that didn't happen because I dodged a bullet.

[00:04:24] So just remember that God's delays are not denials.

[00:04:29] It's there to protect you.

[00:04:31] It's there to teach you lessons.

[00:04:32] It's there to help you grow.

[00:04:36] These are important lessons.

[00:04:39] And God's plan is always greater than ours.

[00:04:43] I think we've been on different sides of the fence on this on a few times, a few times.

[00:04:50] What do you mean?

[00:04:51] Just when I brought up and I thought, I think my belief is that,

[00:04:57] it's not like we always agree.

[00:04:59] We don't always agree.

[00:05:00] But I believe that throughout our life, we're, I think, we're always in a place where we're supposed to be at that moment.

[00:05:11] Now, not maybe at that very, very second.

[00:05:14] Sometimes we get off track a little bit.

[00:05:16] But we're where we're supposed to be in that moment.

[00:05:20] Like we're there to learn a lesson.

[00:05:21] Right.

[00:05:22] Or affect somebody or change something.

[00:05:25] And then, and we may feel like that's what we're supposed to do for the rest of our lives.

[00:05:31] But sometimes.

[00:05:32] But then something changes.

[00:05:33] Right.

[00:05:33] The door closes.

[00:05:35] I guess what I'm saying, though, is that we have our fleshly wants.

[00:05:41] And sometimes we're not listening to the right voice in that moment.

[00:05:48] And your plans get kiboshed.

[00:05:51] And it hurts.

[00:05:51] It's painful.

[00:05:53] Sometimes it's a career that you want so badly.

[00:05:58] And it just doesn't happen.

[00:06:00] Or you're in a relationship that you think, this is the one.

[00:06:04] But then you look back years later and you think, oh my goodness.

[00:06:09] What was I thinking?

[00:06:11] Yeah.

[00:06:12] No, I mean, I think that happens in all parts of your life.

[00:06:15] Yeah.

[00:06:15] And it's happened.

[00:06:16] I mean, I got to believe because I can't be the only one that this happened to.

[00:06:20] I know it's happened to you.

[00:06:21] And I feel like it's happened so many times in my life where I look back.

[00:06:26] My job is a police officer.

[00:06:28] It's all I ever wanted to do.

[00:06:30] Right.

[00:06:30] Yeah.

[00:06:30] And then that job gets snatched away from me.

[00:06:34] And I'm thinking my life is over at that point.

[00:06:36] I'm thinking, what am I getting?

[00:06:38] You know, this is all I ever wanted to do.

[00:06:40] I was meant to change people's lives.

[00:06:42] I was trying to affect people's lives in that way.

[00:06:44] That was my conduit to change people's lives.

[00:06:47] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:47] And then that was taken away from me.

[00:06:50] And I thought, I'm never going to do anything great in this world now.

[00:06:54] But failure is a teacher.

[00:06:55] And it's not a stop sign.

[00:06:58] But you definitely learn a lot of valuable lessons.

[00:07:02] So I do also agree with that part.

[00:07:05] Or sometimes we were in a relationship and it was to teach someone something or bring something into their lives.

[00:07:17] Some kind of lesson.

[00:07:18] And it didn't last.

[00:07:20] And it may have felt like the worst, worst thing in your life.

[00:07:24] But again, it was all a divine.

[00:07:29] There was just a, there was a, there was a purpose to it.

[00:07:33] So your heart didn't break for no reason.

[00:07:37] But there was, there was a lesson to me.

[00:07:40] No, I mean, let's just put it that way.

[00:07:42] Like, let's say I had a relationship, a relationship before me and you got together.

[00:07:45] And in that relationship, I thought I knew what I wanted in a relationship.

[00:07:50] I thought that I wanted this certain type of person.

[00:07:53] Uh-huh.

[00:07:54] And, and I think that it took having that person who, you know, that it was seemingly a good relationship.

[00:08:04] You know, everything was fine.

[00:08:05] It was a good relationship.

[00:08:07] And I thought that's what I wanted in that relationship.

[00:08:09] But there were so many things that wouldn't have happened if I would have stayed in that relationship.

[00:08:14] There's, I don't think that I, one, I don't think ultimately it would have worked out.

[00:08:19] And, two, I don't think I would have had kids again.

[00:08:25] So I think, well, I just, I just was kind of content, you know, at that moment.

[00:08:29] I was like, I'm not going to have kids again.

[00:08:31] And so I think life is so perfect.

[00:08:36] God is so perfect in the way he delivers this to us because I thought that's what I wanted.

[00:08:43] Uh-huh.

[00:08:43] I thought that's what I wanted in my life.

[00:08:46] And I didn't know because I didn't know.

[00:08:48] And he knew.

[00:08:49] You know, he knew what I needed in my life.

[00:08:52] Yeah.

[00:08:52] So he took that away from me.

[00:08:54] Uh-huh.

[00:08:54] And again, I thought, oh, my gosh, I was a mess for a minute.

[00:08:57] You know, trying to figure out my life.

[00:08:59] My life is torpedoing.

[00:09:00] But I thought I was in the perfect place in my life.

[00:09:02] And now it's not.

[00:09:03] Now I'm like spiraling out of control.

[00:09:06] And then this beautiful girl walks into my life.

[00:09:11] And, you know, the rest is history.

[00:09:14] And it was just perfect.

[00:09:16] Aw.

[00:09:16] And so I think that, again, God just delivered what I needed, not what I thought I wanted.

[00:09:23] Right, right.

[00:09:24] When I didn't think.

[00:09:25] And at that point, after I broke up.

[00:09:26] And he catches you off guard.

[00:09:27] After we broke up in that previous relationship, I was like, I'm never dating again.

[00:09:31] I'm done.

[00:09:32] I'm done dating women.

[00:09:34] I'm done with this.

[00:09:36] And, you know, so.

[00:09:37] And then, of course, you know, a few months later, we're talking.

[00:09:42] So it's just, you know, you really get.

[00:09:45] And I'm sure everybody who's listening has had this happen in some part of their life, whether it be in dating or that be in, you know, having children.

[00:09:53] You know, there's so many people probably out there who probably thought I wasn't going to have children.

[00:09:58] And then something happens and all of a sudden they have children in their life and their life changes so much for the better.

[00:10:06] And they realize, how could I have ever thought I didn't want children?

[00:10:09] This is my life is so better, so much better in this way.

[00:10:14] And it affected me in so many great ways that I couldn't even imagine not having that.

[00:10:19] That's true.

[00:10:20] And in my previous relationship, I think that was one of the things that really tore us apart was not being able to have the children.

[00:10:29] And also just so many lessons about poor communication and just a lot of things.

[00:10:39] I think we took each other for granted.

[00:10:41] And just I've learned so much.

[00:10:45] And then also the blessing of having children after thinking, finally, I accepted in that previous relationship of I'm not going to have kids.

[00:10:57] But then all of a sudden, just this something inside me that awoke and said, I really want to have children.

[00:11:08] And just putting it out there and praying over it and praying over it when we got together.

[00:11:15] And just visualizing it and praying.

[00:11:19] And it finally happened.

[00:11:21] It's just so crazy how everything happens.

[00:11:24] I mean, do you think you probably, I mean, I'm just guessing by knowing your relationship and knowing a little bit about your history,

[00:11:30] that I'm guessing you probably wouldn't have had kids.

[00:11:34] I mean, what do you think?

[00:11:35] I don't know.

[00:11:37] I don't know.

[00:11:38] I guess it would have been up to.

[00:11:39] I just say that because you guys had been together for a while and you hadn't had kids.

[00:11:43] I mean, we were still trying.

[00:11:44] But I just blocked off that pain point of if I can't have it.

[00:11:55] I mean, what are you supposed to do?

[00:11:57] You're preparing yourself.

[00:11:58] It's already heartbreaking.

[00:12:01] And you just kind of prepare yourself and try to look for the good in life.

[00:12:10] Having this knowledge that you're not going to be able to have babies.

[00:12:14] I went into the, this is so crazy.

[00:12:16] And I just thought of this.

[00:12:18] But kind of at the end of that relationship, I remember going in to the clinic to, you know,

[00:12:28] go to try my last chance and get medical help to, to have babies.

[00:12:35] And then after I went into the same clinic, once I became pregnant and many, you know, years after, it was the same clinic.

[00:12:46] I think I remember telling you this, that I remember I was searching on Yelp or whatever, whatever it was like on Google, how, you know, infertility and, and how to just that whole journey of having children.

[00:13:04] Just the last, the last chance, the last attempt.

[00:13:10] And then here I was going into the same clinic because they also had.

[00:13:14] And now you were pregnant.

[00:13:15] Yeah.

[00:13:16] Yeah.

[00:13:16] And I'm pregnant.

[00:13:17] It was, that's crazy.

[00:13:18] Yeah.

[00:13:19] That's wild.

[00:13:20] That's where your doctor was, right?

[00:13:21] Your main doctor.

[00:13:22] Yeah.

[00:13:23] Yeah.

[00:13:23] I remember that.

[00:13:24] I remember you talking to me about that.

[00:13:25] It was wild.

[00:13:26] I guess it didn't hit me at that moment, but it probably hit you.

[00:13:30] Yeah.

[00:13:30] Because I'm sure, because you were really going through it.

[00:13:32] Yeah.

[00:13:33] I think you just kind of casually mentioned it to me.

[00:13:35] I'm going, eh, that thing with the other guy, you know, I was like, I didn't really want to think about it at the time.

[00:13:42] But, but I get it.

[00:13:44] I get it.

[00:13:45] I wish him well.

[00:13:47] And, you know, just like, of course you wish your ex well.

[00:13:51] It just, it didn't work out for one reason or another.

[00:13:55] And I wish, I wish our ex is nothing but happiness and blessings and wonderful things.

[00:14:01] But, yeah, there was some time when I didn't wish her so well, but there was, but now.

[00:14:06] Well, I'll do it for you.

[00:14:07] It's when you're in a great place.

[00:14:09] You know, you can only wish great things on other people too.

[00:14:12] Yeah.

[00:14:12] And you want great things for other people.

[00:14:15] And you hope that whatever that was that, you know, caused you guys to break up, that it opened some door for them too.

[00:14:22] I know for me, it was, it was my stubbornness and I was a little bit spoiled.

[00:14:27] And I know now what we could have done better.

[00:14:30] And I'm, I'm sure you know what you could have done better.

[00:14:33] But at the same time, you know, God had some kind of, he had some kind of plan and that's why we are where we are today.

[00:14:43] And also I thought I was going to pursue acting.

[00:14:48] All, everybody I trained with said that this was what I was born to do.

[00:14:54] And it's crazy because I'm not doing that today.

[00:14:57] I'm doing this podcast and I have the freedom to be with my children.

[00:15:04] And that's the thing with a lot of our audience.

[00:15:07] That's what they want.

[00:15:09] And sometimes in my experience and what I've experienced in my life, it's a little bit different.

[00:15:15] There's other people that are more in the hustle.

[00:15:19] Whereas for myself, and perhaps it wouldn't have been this way if I, if I wouldn't have had that diagnosis.

[00:15:28] And, but for me, it's different now.

[00:15:32] I really want to, time is so precious, so precious.

[00:15:37] So I just understand the value of spending time with your family.

[00:15:44] And especially as a parent.

[00:15:46] I love that great movie we watched yesterday.

[00:15:48] What was the name of it?

[00:15:48] Oh, it was so good.

[00:15:50] It was so good.

[00:15:50] If you guys haven't seen this movie, you got to see it.

[00:15:53] It's Unsung Hero.

[00:15:54] Unsung Hero.

[00:15:55] And I love.

[00:15:56] It's a life story.

[00:15:57] It's a true story about, and we're jumping off subject here for a second.

[00:16:01] But not really.

[00:16:02] Because that story.

[00:16:04] And I'll tell you why it brought me up is because I was thinking of the quote that came from the movie.

[00:16:08] Your family is not in the way.

[00:16:10] They are the way.

[00:16:13] And it's such a great quote.

[00:16:14] And I just think about it's a true story of the Christian band.

[00:16:20] King and Crown.

[00:16:21] King and Country.

[00:16:22] King and Country.

[00:16:23] King and Country.

[00:16:23] They have such good music.

[00:16:26] It's so good.

[00:16:26] Yeah, they have great music.

[00:16:27] But anyways, yeah, I just, I think, and you're right.

[00:16:31] You're right.

[00:16:31] Things are, you know, they just, they're meant to go the way they're supposed to go.

[00:16:37] And you learn lessons from those things.

[00:16:39] Even the story that we watched last night, the movie, I call it a story because I think that you and I both saw ourselves in it.

[00:16:47] And I wanted to have the concrete company.

[00:16:51] I wanted to be this actress.

[00:16:52] I wanted to do certain things.

[00:16:55] But God just makes it not happen.

[00:16:58] And I don't want to give too much away about the movie.

[00:17:01] But he had his heart set on becoming.

[00:17:07] On his own thing.

[00:17:09] On his own thing.

[00:17:10] And he had the support.

[00:17:11] And when he stopped fighting.

[00:17:12] He had the support of his wife.

[00:17:14] But you could tell that she's desperately trying to tell him it's not going to happen.

[00:17:19] But if it does, you know, and I'm here to support you.

[00:17:22] But you could tell it was just so wonderfully played and written where she could tell that that wasn't.

[00:17:30] Yeah, because we had, we'd gone.

[00:17:32] And the truth is we've gone through moments like that.

[00:17:34] We're doors closed for us or me.

[00:17:37] And, you know, I would, there were a couple of businesses that I had there that I was.

[00:17:40] Right.

[00:17:41] That would have caused me to be away a lot.

[00:17:45] Right.

[00:17:45] You know, I was, I was looking to fly to China.

[00:17:48] And I was having to deal with this, you know, manufacturing and this other, and this other thing.

[00:17:53] And it kind of wasn't up your alley.

[00:17:56] It wasn't nothing that would excite you.

[00:17:58] And it was just, you know, it was just something.

[00:18:00] It just wasn't elegant enough.

[00:18:01] And it was, it was exciting to me a little bit.

[00:18:04] But, you know, it just wasn't, I felt like we were doing kind of two separate things.

[00:18:09] And I wasn't, when I came home to talk to you about it, you'd like nod your head.

[00:18:14] I wasn't excited about it.

[00:18:16] You just weren't excited about it.

[00:18:17] I just didn't feel it.

[00:18:17] You didn't want to talk about it too much.

[00:18:19] And it's weird because women do have this instinct.

[00:18:22] And, and you could see this in the movie.

[00:18:25] And when finally, because here's the beautiful part.

[00:18:29] You guys got to see this movie first and foremost.

[00:18:32] But he was just missing the point where people, he had this daughter with this incredible voice.

[00:18:41] And everybody around him saw the talent.

[00:18:44] And he was missing the boat.

[00:18:45] But somehow he was missing the boat because he had his sights on what he wanted to do.

[00:18:51] He lost his job.

[00:18:53] He lost everything.

[00:18:54] His family had nothing.

[00:18:57] They didn't even know where they were going to get their next meal.

[00:19:02] But they were just so dedicated to God.

[00:19:05] And they were seeing all these miracles.

[00:19:07] But he wasn't really seeing the miracles.

[00:19:10] And then one day, it just all clicked.

[00:19:14] And he started seeing the miracles and everything changed.

[00:19:19] And it just was amazing because he just started pouring into his family.

[00:19:27] And that was the whole thing that he needed to do.

[00:19:31] And I feel like that's a lot of us.

[00:19:33] Well, it's what this podcast is about.

[00:19:36] Really, that door closed for him.

[00:19:38] He was a promoter.

[00:19:39] Yes.

[00:19:39] And he was promoting all these big bands.

[00:19:41] He needed to promote his daughter.

[00:19:43] Well, they were like Christian bands.

[00:19:45] Yes.

[00:19:46] Amy Grant and Striper at the time, which was like a heavy metal Christian band.

[00:19:50] And he was promoting these bands.

[00:19:52] And then all that went away.

[00:19:54] All that business went away.

[00:19:55] It got taken away.

[00:19:57] And so that door closed for him.

[00:19:59] Yeah.

[00:20:00] And sometimes this is what happens to us.

[00:20:03] We don't realize.

[00:20:04] We don't see that other door that's opened up.

[00:20:07] We're refusing to look.

[00:20:09] We're looking in our own direction.

[00:20:10] It's like, I'm looking this way.

[00:20:12] And I'm not seeing the door behind me that just opened up.

[00:20:16] Because we're stubborn.

[00:20:17] And we want to look our own direction.

[00:20:19] We just want to know, I'm looking this way.

[00:20:21] I'm looking this way.

[00:20:22] And you probably have somebody in your life, like your wife, who's probably because of her instincts.

[00:20:29] And his father.

[00:20:30] And his father was trying to tell him.

[00:20:32] But it's not always that.

[00:20:34] Without telling him.

[00:20:35] I think your wife has this gift from God, this instinct from God.

[00:20:38] A hundred percent.

[00:20:39] From God that allows them to see things that you don't know we see.

[00:20:43] And maybe we're too close to the problem.

[00:20:45] To protect.

[00:20:46] But sometimes they feel like husbands.

[00:20:48] Because we have a lot of couples that we work with.

[00:20:52] And even your consulting.

[00:20:54] And sometimes it gets off topic.

[00:20:57] But in a good way.

[00:20:58] Where you have to say, but bro.

[00:21:01] No, she's not against you.

[00:21:04] And she's not trying to stop your fun.

[00:21:06] It's like God gave her this radar.

[00:21:09] And is she not usually right?

[00:21:13] Yes.

[00:21:14] Well, trust it.

[00:21:16] She's not against you.

[00:21:18] She's trying to help you with her God-given instinct.

[00:21:22] And sometimes it's just simply turn around and look at that open door.

[00:21:26] Right.

[00:21:26] There's an open door right here that's waiting for you.

[00:21:29] And you refuse to look at it.

[00:21:32] Or you're just somehow not seeing it.

[00:21:34] Or you're not seeing it.

[00:21:35] Or blind to it.

[00:21:35] Because there's just so much noise and static.

[00:21:39] Right.

[00:21:39] There's too many sidetracks and shiny objects coming your way.

[00:21:45] Right.

[00:21:45] Or people all of a sudden come into your life.

[00:21:48] And just, it's weird.

[00:21:49] It's the wrong voice.

[00:21:51] And I remember my mom telling me about this too.

[00:21:54] In other couples, it was the wrong voice.

[00:21:56] It was the wrong thing that I was listening to.

[00:22:00] Yeah.

[00:22:01] I feel that.

[00:22:02] And there's so many.

[00:22:04] It's such a big part of success.

[00:22:07] Saying no to those things that are coming into your life that don't need to be there.

[00:22:11] That are just trying to eat up your time.

[00:22:13] Not only from your family, but from your business life too.

[00:22:17] If you're trying to build something and you got all these people coming at you asking you

[00:22:21] to do a meeting over here and a thing over here and come meet this guy over there.

[00:22:26] And sometimes that's important.

[00:22:28] But many times you have to see through that, that people who are trying to eat up your time

[00:22:34] and take you away from the things that you need to be actually doing.

[00:22:38] Yeah.

[00:22:39] Those, I mean, sometimes you get so focused on one path.

[00:22:42] I'm not saying you, but in general, we can get so focused on one path, one goal.

[00:22:47] And then we don't see those other possibilities that we were talking about.

[00:22:51] And the scary thing is that life goes by so quickly.

[00:22:56] And then suddenly you start getting gray hair and then you're at the end of your life.

[00:23:00] And, and, and this is the thing.

[00:23:03] I feel like when you're 18 or 19, it should be mandatory to work in a hospice,

[00:23:10] in a hospice setting, because I feel like after that experience,

[00:23:17] you'll never look at life the same.

[00:23:20] You're going to cherish every single minute because you all, you know,

[00:23:24] eventually you don't know how much time you have.

[00:23:28] And, and sometimes it takes you to your thirties or forties to realize how precious life is.

[00:23:34] And you've already, uh, I don't want to say wasted the time,

[00:23:39] but just not spent it in a way where you treat it so precious.

[00:23:43] You, you're, you're, you, even the foods that you're putting inside yourself

[00:23:49] or drinking or whatever, whatever it is,

[00:23:52] the things that we know aren't good for you.

[00:23:54] God gives us a discernment.

[00:23:56] We know when we're not eating well, we know.

[00:23:59] And, and it's just, I feel like if you're in that setting, you will look at life differently.

[00:24:05] You will make decisions differently.

[00:24:07] You will hang out with different people because you understand how absolutely precious life is.

[00:24:14] And the scary part is usually when you're working in a hospice environment,

[00:24:19] most of those people have had a really full life and they still have lots of regret.

[00:24:25] But the truth is, especially now with just the rate of illness from the toxic food and toxic air and all this stuff.

[00:24:34] And we don't want to, don't want to depress you,

[00:24:36] but definitely start reading your labels and stuff, people,

[00:24:39] and just really investigate the stuff that you're bringing into your homes.

[00:24:43] But you just, you just got to turn around and look at life in a different way.

[00:24:50] Yeah.

[00:24:51] I don't want it to get into a dark conversation, but you know.

[00:24:55] Yeah.

[00:24:55] I realized how precious life is when you start to see your, how fast your kids grow up and you turn around.

[00:25:01] Yeah.

[00:25:01] They're just like, they're, they're growing like weeds.

[00:25:04] Yesterday they can barely walk and now they're running around and they look so tall.

[00:25:10] You're just like, well, my gosh, please, can I take some time back?

[00:25:14] It's so precious.

[00:25:15] Yeah.

[00:25:15] When I, when I, when I lost my job as a cop and, and, and Charles came to me when I was, you know, at my lowest and said,

[00:25:25] Hey, do you want to start a company?

[00:25:27] I think when you're in tune with, with like, you know, cause I was, I was praying a little bit at that time.

[00:25:37] Why is it that you're always praying when you're in your worst part of your life?

[00:25:40] You know, I hadn't realized that I needed, that was something that I needed to do every day on a regular basis.

[00:25:45] I was praying because I was in such a bad place at that time that I was just like, please God, please.

[00:25:51] I want to help people.

[00:25:53] Like, please help me help people.

[00:25:55] And so when Charles came to me and said, Hey, do you, what do you think about starting a t-shirt company?

[00:26:01] I honestly believe that the reason why I was, I was so open to it because I didn't know anything about starting a t-shirt company.

[00:26:10] I still don't know how to print a shirt.

[00:26:11] I didn't know anything about starting a t-shirt company.

[00:26:14] It sounded cool, but I didn't know anything about it.

[00:26:16] And I think if I wasn't so open, I wasn't so open to, to, to that conversation with God that I don't think I would have seen it the same way.

[00:26:29] And when he said it to me and I just, I was ready to accept that open door at the time.

[00:26:36] And I think that's what everybody has to, you have to be, you have to be, if you're not close to God, you're not close to where you, your purpose and looking for your next purpose in your life.

[00:26:48] You could spiral into depression or even, I mean, not that you're an addictive person, but the wrong influence or people around you say it could have been a different buddy that, Hey, let's go drinking.

[00:27:04] Just something stupid.

[00:27:06] And then you just fall into this bad lifestyle and it could turn into addiction.

[00:27:10] And that's, I think that's why I was truly open and in tune to where I was supposed to go.

[00:27:15] God send me the right people, remove the wrong people.

[00:27:17] I wasn't saying it totally in that way.

[00:27:19] I wish I was a better at prayer at the time.

[00:27:21] But we do that now with our kids.

[00:27:23] Oh, now, absolutely.

[00:27:24] Ever since I got pregnant with Daniel, and here's the cool thing is, and I always think about this, of course the miracle happened.

[00:27:35] And I just looked at life totally differently and I could see myself changing into this other person.

[00:27:46] And later on, I mean, we were dealing with my mom's tragic news.

[00:27:54] And then again, the joyful news after she rejected certain treatments and she healed.

[00:28:02] And then she had the support of doctors.

[00:28:07] And then my thing happened and I didn't start praying then.

[00:28:14] I was already praying.

[00:28:15] And I always think, and I have this good feeling about it.

[00:28:20] But a part of me is like, I didn't start that day because I was already committed.

[00:28:29] And I knew that I was under his wing.

[00:28:33] And I was so in tune to the things that I needed to do.

[00:28:37] I was...

[00:28:40] I get what you're saying because that's how I feel now.

[00:28:43] I feel now like I can't not pray every day.

[00:28:45] Yes.

[00:28:46] Like three times a day.

[00:28:47] I feel it, man.

[00:28:48] Because I feel it.

[00:28:49] And it's not that...

[00:28:49] I'm so in tune that I feel like everything that I say in all these conversations...

[00:28:54] I'll never miss.

[00:28:54] Yeah.

[00:28:54] ...always work out.

[00:28:56] And it's such an open conversation that it just, I can't even imagine not doing it.

[00:29:00] I can't put it into words.

[00:29:02] Yeah, it's hard to put it into words.

[00:29:03] But even the kids understand that you don't just pray when you're in trouble.

[00:29:09] And of course, I had a praying mom.

[00:29:11] So she was always praying over me.

[00:29:15] And when we say goodbye, it was always, I love you.

[00:29:18] I'm going to go pray for you right now.

[00:29:21] So when there was people wishing bad on me, watch out because I got a praying mom and all

[00:29:27] that stuff will go right back to you.

[00:29:29] But it just, what I really, really love is, I think, what was it the other night?

[00:29:38] Maybe it was Wednesday.

[00:29:39] The kids fell asleep during prayer.

[00:29:43] And I do a bunch of different prayers with them at night, but they fell asleep.

[00:29:47] But Destiny, do you remember?

[00:29:49] She came up to me and she said, did you remember to pray over me?

[00:29:54] Oh, I fell asleep too.

[00:29:55] I was passed out.

[00:29:56] I prayed over the whole family and they're praying over all of you.

[00:30:00] It was just me, but I cannot miss.

[00:30:02] Well, we were waiting for you.

[00:30:04] I know, it was my fault.

[00:30:05] And we were waiting for you and we all passed out.

[00:30:09] But that's a lot.

[00:30:10] I hope you prayed over me too.

[00:30:11] I did.

[00:30:11] I did.

[00:30:12] I did.

[00:30:12] I always do.

[00:30:14] Always do.

[00:30:15] Because...

[00:30:15] And I always pray over you too.

[00:30:16] And that's the most important thing.

[00:30:18] If you're a spouse, praying over your partner, your husband or your wife, pray over them.

[00:30:27] Pray over your children.

[00:30:28] And I said this before.

[00:30:29] When we were having our problems and when I...

[00:30:35] I'm telling you, you guys, I didn't think that our marriage was going to make it.

[00:30:39] There was a lot of things going on.

[00:30:42] We weren't spending time.

[00:30:43] I never had any doubt.

[00:30:44] And what do you mean our marriage wasn't going to make it?

[00:30:46] Of course it was going to make it because I wasn't giving up.

[00:30:49] You would...

[00:30:49] I just felt like you were so checked out and you were so into this thing.

[00:30:55] And I know that you were stressed out and I didn't want to...

[00:30:57] I think I should have been more vocal, but I wasn't.

[00:31:01] And I was dealing with a lot inside.

[00:31:05] But I was still praying over you.

[00:31:08] I was still praying over our marriage.

[00:31:10] And my mom, God rest her soul, she was still with me.

[00:31:14] And she said, Ildico, the most powerful thing you can do is pray over a...

[00:31:20] I'm so mad!

[00:31:22] She's like, you just get so angry, darling.

[00:31:24] Just pray.

[00:31:26] Pray for him.

[00:31:27] Pray over your marriage.

[00:31:29] Pray over...

[00:31:29] Just pray about it.

[00:31:31] And it was just the wisest words.

[00:31:34] Oh, I'm getting goosebumps.

[00:31:35] And I just...

[00:31:36] I remember her...

[00:31:37] Just her precious voice.

[00:31:38] Because she's very outspoken.

[00:31:40] Don't get me wrong.

[00:31:41] Like, she has her opinions.

[00:31:43] And she'll...

[00:31:47] She'll identify what could be done better.

[00:31:50] What's wrong.

[00:31:51] But she definitely doesn't take sides.

[00:31:56] Of course, if someone...

[00:31:58] I mean, you're her son.

[00:31:59] But if it's a stranger and they're talking about me, like, I just...

[00:32:03] I know she's always...

[00:32:04] She'll eat the crap out of them.

[00:32:07] Mad Hungarian woman.

[00:32:08] It doesn't matter.

[00:32:09] She's very protective over her grandchildren, over me.

[00:32:15] She is more...

[00:32:17] Yeah, she's a lion.

[00:32:19] She's a lion.

[00:32:20] Nobody mess with me because she'll come after you.

[00:32:24] Bite their head off.

[00:32:25] Yeah.

[00:32:26] I was scared of her, for sure, for that reason.

[00:32:28] But she...

[00:32:29] But yeah, she really believed in prayer.

[00:32:32] And I think that, guys, if you are not praying...

[00:32:34] Let your children see because you adopt that.

[00:32:36] If you are not using prayer to speak to God and have that open line of communication,

[00:32:42] it is so...

[00:32:43] I can't even explain to you.

[00:32:45] I mean, it's hard to put it into words.

[00:32:47] But you just have to get down on your knees.

[00:32:50] Honestly, just hold those little ones' hands.

[00:32:52] And you probably do already.

[00:32:53] But I know that I'm speaking to a few people that haven't.

[00:32:57] And sometimes it's more easy to do everything than to get down and hold your spouse's hand

[00:33:05] or even, you know, face-to-face on the side.

[00:33:10] On face...

[00:33:11] It's very late.

[00:33:12] We're tired.

[00:33:13] But you face each other on the bed and you pray over each other.

[00:33:19] And it's the most intimate thing.

[00:33:22] And you need to try it.

[00:33:24] This is one of our challenges that we have for our couples.

[00:33:29] And...

[00:33:29] Well, 10 years ago, I couldn't...

[00:33:31] I mean, well, 15 years ago, I couldn't see myself doing that.

[00:33:35] You know, I think I've prayed occasionally.

[00:33:36] You're too cool.

[00:33:38] But I don't know why.

[00:33:40] I mean, I grew up in prayer.

[00:33:41] I grew up with my family.

[00:33:42] Because it was the wrong voice.

[00:33:42] I remember my mom and dad sitting, kneeling down with me and praying with me every night.

[00:33:48] Yeah.

[00:33:48] But somewhere I lost my way.

[00:33:51] Yeah.

[00:33:51] And I still had a connection with God.

[00:33:54] But I wasn't connected in the way that I should have been.

[00:33:57] And now I feel so connected that I can't even imagine not being connected with him.

[00:34:05] And ooh, I get emotional just thinking about it.

[00:34:07] 100%.

[00:34:07] I just always want to be that close.

[00:34:08] Because we've seen so many miracles in our life.

[00:34:11] And my mom said that it's...

[00:34:15] The reason I bring up my mom is because I've seen so many miracles with her.

[00:34:20] And now I'm experiencing it in my own family.

[00:34:24] Her life was saved several times.

[00:34:27] She should have died when she had her liver operation.

[00:34:34] She was supposed to die if she were to have me.

[00:34:40] I don't talk about this story a lot.

[00:34:44] But when she was pregnant with me, they told her to have...

[00:34:50] I know there's children listening.

[00:34:52] But to not carry through the pregnancy.

[00:34:58] And she just said, I know it's going to be a girl.

[00:35:02] And she got so mad.

[00:35:04] Dr. Chopo, Hungarian doctor.

[00:35:07] She got so mad at him.

[00:35:09] Well, she only had boys at the time.

[00:35:11] So she had two boys.

[00:35:12] She only had boys.

[00:35:13] But she knew.

[00:35:14] She told me.

[00:35:15] She said, Ildiko, I knew I was going to have a little girl.

[00:35:19] I knew I was going to have a daughter.

[00:35:21] And I knew that I was supposed to have this daughter.

[00:35:24] And I knew that I wasn't going to die.

[00:35:26] And they all looked at her like she was looney tunes.

[00:35:32] And she went through with it.

[00:35:34] It was one of her easiest pregnancies.

[00:35:38] Although they were beating her stomach because the baby got stuck.

[00:35:44] But it was a different C-section where she was asleep.

[00:35:47] But she woke up and then they put her back to bed.

[00:35:49] Right.

[00:35:50] That was you.

[00:35:51] You're the baby.

[00:35:52] I'm the baby.

[00:35:54] But it could have been the same situation.

[00:35:57] Remember how when Daniel was being born?

[00:36:00] Yeah.

[00:36:01] So that's probably exactly what happened.

[00:36:04] Yeah.

[00:36:04] That the baby got stuck.

[00:36:06] Yeah.

[00:36:06] That was really scary.

[00:36:06] Because my mom's very, very petite.

[00:36:08] And I'm very petite.

[00:36:09] Anyway, I just, I get emotional because I've seen so many miracles in my mom's life.

[00:36:16] And she's just an example of that.

[00:36:20] And yes, sometimes we can fall off the path like you mentioned.

[00:36:26] But when your children see the miracles, they see you praying, they see you committed to God.

[00:36:34] And they grow up like that.

[00:36:36] They may veer off, but they'll always come home.

[00:36:39] I do believe that.

[00:36:41] I do believe that.

[00:36:42] Be careful.

[00:36:43] When you have a praying mom, they will come home.

[00:36:47] And guys, remember, sometimes the blessing is not getting what you wanted, but getting what you needed.

[00:36:55] That is so true.

[00:36:57] I know you've had these things happen in your life.

[00:37:00] Just realize what's happening for you, not against you.

[00:37:06] This is happening for you.

[00:37:07] These are things that you're being led in this direction for a reason.

[00:37:11] So you can look back and go, what are those lessons that I learned from that?

[00:37:17] The greatest lessons.

[00:37:18] And where do I need to be going?

[00:37:19] Where am I pivoting now?

[00:37:21] Where am I heading?

[00:37:22] And be open to those doors that are opening and be looking for those doors that are opening.

[00:37:27] It's clearing space for what we truly need.

[00:37:29] It really is.

[00:37:31] Yeah.

[00:37:31] Well, thank you guys for tuning in this week for this week's Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:37:36] And we hope to see you guys next week.

[00:37:38] We're going to be missing you for the week.

[00:37:40] And we hope to see you guys next week.

[00:37:42] We've honestly been talking about doing two or three podcasts a week.

[00:37:45] Yeah.

[00:37:45] You guys are asking for it.

[00:37:47] So we'll see.

[00:37:48] We'll see.

[00:37:49] We love you guys.

[00:37:50] We love you guys.

[00:37:51] And we'll see you guys.

[00:37:52] And just have a blessed and beautiful week.

[00:37:55] And remember that you have a purpose.

[00:37:59] And you fall into that.

[00:38:01] And sometimes we pivot.

[00:38:02] But it's all.

[00:38:04] God has an amazing plan for all of us.

[00:38:07] Have the best week.

[00:38:09] Thank you so much for listening to this week's Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:38:14] Make sure to subscribe and like.

[00:38:17] God bless.

[00:38:18] I hope you got something out of this podcast.

[00:38:21] Thank you for listening to the Pretty and Punk podcast this week.

[00:38:25] Don't forget to bring your kids next week.

[00:38:28] And have a blessed day.

[00:38:30] We love you.