Reinvent Your Relationships: The Secret to a Purpose Driven New Year!

[00:00:00] What we're doing is not weird. We're trying to be our very best selves. We're not too proud to say that there is a lot of room for growth, that there's room for growth and sometimes we need to learn to do things differently.

[00:00:17] Uh, no.

[00:00:21] Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:00:24] Yeah!

[00:00:28] She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:00:31] He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:00:34] She took the world by storm as a social media star.

[00:00:37] He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:00:41] Together we started a business.

[00:00:43] And had babies.

[00:00:44] Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:00:47] Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:00:51] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids.

[00:00:55] And everything in between.

[00:00:57] Listen carefully and never forget this.

[00:01:00] You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with.

[00:01:05] What the new year brings to you depends on what you bring to the new year.

[00:01:13] Let's make this year blessed and amazing!

[00:01:17] Welcome to the Pretty and Punk Podcast.

[00:01:18] My name is Dan Caldwell and I'm here with my beautiful wife.

[00:01:23] Il Di Coferenzi.

[00:01:25] And we have another great podcast for you guys.

[00:01:27] It's, it's, we're right here on the cusp of new year's.

[00:01:32] So we got new year's resolutions and all kinds of things going on.

[00:01:35] Yes.

[00:01:36] We took it.

[00:01:36] We took a break from the marriage series, but this, we can almost add this as a bonus

[00:01:42] to that, but I'm so excited about this topic.

[00:01:46] Did you want to talk on it a little bit?

[00:01:48] Well, I just, yeah.

[00:01:49] So we'll be back on the divorce proofing your marriage series, uh, next week.

[00:01:54] But, um, but yeah, this is part of it.

[00:01:57] This is, this is, it still could be considered if you're listening to that series, it can

[00:02:02] still be considered, uh, along the same lines.

[00:02:05] Yeah, definitely.

[00:02:06] Cause this can build or break not only your marriage, but this is so important for you

[00:02:13] to investigate today and start changing your life.

[00:02:19] If any of this is relatable.

[00:02:22] But before we jump into that, well, before we jump into that, I was going to ask you,

[00:02:28] I was going to ask you before we jump into it real quick.

[00:02:30] I just want to ask you before we get to the, um, to that part of the show, um, where, uh,

[00:02:37] have you made any new year's resolutions?

[00:02:39] Uh, we should have talked about that, but.

[00:02:41] Well, I think with this topic I, I have, but then I decided to change it.

[00:02:51] Change it.

[00:02:52] Yeah.

[00:02:54] Well, I, I haven't made it.

[00:02:55] Well, because I felt like it was selfish stuff and now knowing what I know now, it's

[00:03:02] prepping myself for something bigger.

[00:03:04] Well, I was going to tell you, I think our new year's resolutions this year should be very

[00:03:08] specific.

[00:03:09] And.

[00:03:10] It is.

[00:03:11] Uh, that's good.

[00:03:12] That's good.

[00:03:13] That's good because I, I wanted it to be more specific.

[00:03:15] I know I'd, I think last year my resolutions were a little loose and, uh, this year they're

[00:03:20] very specific.

[00:03:21] And so, um, I think that's important for anybody making new year's resolutions out there.

[00:03:27] Um, and I really feel, I really feel like this episode is going to help you because it might

[00:03:33] just be something like getting fit or, which is important, but I feel like there's something

[00:03:40] more important that you need to fill to starting today.

[00:03:45] Yeah.

[00:03:45] I mean, I think the, the kind of the loose versions are as I want to, you know, we're

[00:03:50] still walking.

[00:03:50] I want to walk my faith closer to God.

[00:03:53] I want to try to get, be better at that.

[00:03:56] Um, I also, uh, want to of course work on being a better husband.

[00:04:00] I'm a constant work in progress and, um, I, but I want to read the Bible this year.

[00:04:06] And so I'm really going to work on doing that.

[00:04:09] That's going to be, that's one of my new year's resolutions.

[00:04:13] And, uh, even though this isn't like a straight Bible podcast, but I think it's important.

[00:04:19] And it's, and to me, it's, I've, I've, I've always, I've read parts of it all my life.

[00:04:25] I've read it the whole thing one time and I, but it's the best self-help book you can

[00:04:33] ever read.

[00:04:33] A hundred percent.

[00:04:34] And we'll quote from it all day.

[00:04:36] You know, I mean, every great self-help person quotes from the Bible all the time.

[00:04:41] Yeah.

[00:04:42] And there's just so much to be learned from the Bible, but also, and of course I have

[00:04:47] a fitness goal.

[00:04:48] Um, I'm going to get abs this year.

[00:04:51] So I'm bringing the abs back.

[00:04:54] Yeah.

[00:04:55] I'm bringing them.

[00:04:55] I know it's, it just feels like I need that.

[00:04:59] I'm going to be sharing that stuff with you guys through the year.

[00:05:03] I've been kind of keeping it to myself, but when I talk to people in our community, like

[00:05:10] they don't have time to go to the gym.

[00:05:11] And I have a lot of tips and tricks on how to look amazing just in your living room, babies

[00:05:18] on your back, jumping all over the place.

[00:05:20] I have all the secrets because it's life is different.

[00:05:24] When you have kids, you can't just go to the gym.

[00:05:26] That is a luxury.

[00:05:27] Now you're not single anymore.

[00:05:29] It's different.

[00:05:30] So I have all the tips and tricks.

[00:05:32] And then also I will link an amazing way that the kids and I have been reading the Bible

[00:05:38] Bible with, um, Mike Schmidt.

[00:05:42] And it's, it's pretty viral because he makes it so easy.

[00:05:49] And I'm going to link that for you guys because, um, it just, he holds you accountable

[00:05:56] and you, and you do it.

[00:05:58] Bible in a year.

[00:05:59] Well, as long as you get up every day and do it.

[00:06:00] Yeah.

[00:06:01] Bible in a year.

[00:06:02] And he explains it.

[00:06:03] So it.

[00:06:03] Oh, it's so good.

[00:06:05] You guys does it really well.

[00:06:06] Yeah.

[00:06:06] So Dan's going to start this year and, um, and I'm just going to, I'm just going to

[00:06:11] start again because I felt like, I think the best way to do it is when you do it together.

[00:06:17] Like I want the kids involved, but Dan's, it's just been a crazy year.

[00:06:22] But I think this year, if we do it as a family and you missed it, you're like, yeah, I already

[00:06:27] listened to it.

[00:06:28] So I'm just going to do it again with the kids.

[00:06:32] You, I mean, how many times my mom has read it?

[00:06:35] The Bible so many times backwards, forwards, every, every single way.

[00:06:39] And there's no harm in that.

[00:06:41] So, but before we jump into the podcast.

[00:06:44] Before we jump into that.

[00:06:46] Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:06:50] And if you are, and you haven't already hit that liked and subscribe button, it just takes

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[00:07:00] And if you know anybody, it might help and you can send it to them.

[00:07:04] We really appreciate that too.

[00:07:05] We also love and appreciate your reviews.

[00:07:08] Even the babies look forward to them every day.

[00:07:11] If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us.

[00:07:16] We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business and

[00:07:21] the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:07:24] That's worth a shout out.

[00:07:25] Together.

[00:07:26] Together.

[00:07:26] We have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:07:29] And we just want to put it out there.

[00:07:31] We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible and you are our family and we're

[00:07:38] so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:07:43] So don't forget the sh all the links are below in the show notes.

[00:07:48] And thank you again.

[00:07:50] And let's get back to the show.

[00:07:51] I need the ones, the people that will thrust me into my destiny and my family and my partner.

[00:08:00] When people don't see the purpose on your life, it will limit you.

[00:08:08] And this is a very dangerous thing.

[00:08:10] You need to start taking inventory of your surroundings, where you spend your time, because it

[00:08:21] could be poisoning you or it could be enriching you and giving you everything that you need

[00:08:31] to fulfill your God given destiny.

[00:08:33] And you may not wait.

[00:08:34] Oh, I'm not that special.

[00:08:36] I don't have a God.

[00:08:37] Of course you do.

[00:08:38] We all have a purpose.

[00:08:40] We all have a purpose.

[00:08:42] We were chosen.

[00:08:44] We were chosen.

[00:08:44] Even just being born, conceived.

[00:08:47] Do you even realize how many billions of other little, you know what they're called?

[00:08:54] You have to fight off to win.

[00:08:56] Of course you have a destiny.

[00:08:58] Of course you have a God given destiny.

[00:09:00] And on this path to make it back to heaven, you have to fulfill maybe one, but I feel like

[00:09:10] there's several things we have to accomplish in this life.

[00:09:13] And if you're surrounded by people that are cynical and gossiping and just not living the

[00:09:20] life or even seeing, or just pulling you towards mediocrity rather than greatness, you need to take a

[00:09:27] quick look around and leave that circle and get into the circle that's going to catapult you, hold you

[00:09:34] accountable and get up.

[00:09:35] Let's go.

[00:09:36] Let's do this.

[00:09:37] Let's read the Bible today.

[00:09:42] Let's read the Bible today, you know, that, and the other not in, you know, a negative way, but

[00:09:50] in a loving and kind way with other people that are that have the same mindset at you that

[00:09:56] have the same goals, the strengthening your faith, strengthening your marriage, raising

[00:10:03] children that are going to fulfill their God-given destiny. And of course, a business that is honest

[00:10:13] and, and, and growing and, and thriving and, and you're, so it's not only your walk with God,

[00:10:22] but also when you are surrounding yourself, reflect in everything you do, including your

[00:10:29] business. How do you say like a God, a faith centered, you know, you're not a crook. You're

[00:10:36] honest. You're helping people. No, but some people are surrounded by people that are crooks

[00:10:44] because they're bringing in money, but you have to reinvest in that, just look at the people around

[00:10:53] you. They may not be good for you. They may be bringing you back or bringing you down. I mean,

[00:11:00] we saw, we witnessed some people this year. We don't personally know, but people know this person

[00:11:07] and he was a crook stealing from people. And we all thought he was a great person. I don't want to

[00:11:14] talk about it too much. I just like to believe that people, you know, his heart was in there. He didn't,

[00:11:19] he wasn't trying to do that. But it's scary. It's scary to see how many people through this journey

[00:11:26] that nobody stuck up to this. I don't even know this person, but it, the story makes me sad and it

[00:11:34] makes me think, how could nobody have held him accountable? How did somebody let the evil forces

[00:11:43] take over and go too far? Well, why this is the thing. This is why you need to examine your circle

[00:11:51] and make sure that people hold you accountable. I'm not saying that you're going down a bad road,

[00:11:56] but if you hang around with people that are going down a bad road, there's a good chance you can also

[00:12:03] go down that bad. Somehow you're getting pulled down that road. Yeah. Somehow you're going, it's so

[00:12:07] magnetic that it's going to pull you down. And even if you say, oh, well, you know, they're,

[00:12:12] they're bringing in lots of money and it can push you down a dark road. There's so many honest and good

[00:12:20] ways to make money. If you're on the right path, there are blessings that are going to come into

[00:12:27] your life a hundred percent, but you have to have all those things ticked off the faith, the, the

[00:12:35] relationship, the children and the business. You have to have it all. That's where you have to,

[00:12:39] you really truly have to take inventory. So if you're, if you're, if you sit down and actually

[00:12:46] think about who am I hanging around on a regular basis, who am I spending my time with besides my

[00:12:54] family, who am I spending my time with and where are their goals? Where are they headed? What is

[00:13:01] important to those people? Because whatever is important to them is at some point going to be,

[00:13:07] you're going to be swayed and is going to be important to you. So if they're, if what's

[00:13:12] important to them is family, marriage, uh, uh, you know, relationships, uh, religion,

[00:13:22] the things that keep you a good person then, and, and those same people are educating themselves and

[00:13:32] continuing to grow and maybe have a business. And so you guys have, you know, iron sharpening iron

[00:13:38] here. Yes. You never smart people together. We'll make, we'll, we'll, you know, tenfold your business

[00:13:46] together. And you never age out of growth, never be too good. Never think you're too good to grow.

[00:13:52] This is the thing. This is the thing that I've always loved in you and myself and my children

[00:13:59] and my surroundings are community. And this is why we built a community where it's not,

[00:14:06] we, what we're doing is not weird. We're trying to be our very best selves. We're not too proud

[00:14:11] to say that there is a lot of room for growth, that there's room for growth. And sometimes we need to

[00:14:18] learn to do things differently. And biblically it's proven. Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts

[00:14:27] good character. Corinthians 1533. The people in your life can either be a source of encouragement

[00:14:35] or a hindrance to your blessings. That's a scary thought, right? And here's the harsh truth.

[00:14:43] While you're worried about hurting someone's feelings, because let's be honest, you're going

[00:14:47] to have to cut people off in life. I've done it many times, many times. And then there's people that,

[00:14:52] of course, I really wish I could hang out with, but I'm just, I'm just not close to them. My very

[00:14:57] best, best, best friend. She's just too far away, but she's an amazing mom. She's amazing wife and

[00:15:05] she's got everything going on. So when we do talk, it's like not even a day has gone by and we never

[00:15:11] put that, you know how there's some friendships where they put this guilt on you. But when we do get

[00:15:16] to talk, it's just gratitude. We're just so great. Yes. That's, that's exactly what it's like.

[00:15:22] A quick catch up. And I feel like in mom life, that's, that's, that's the way it is.

[00:15:27] Yeah. And dad life too. If you're not, you're not always able to speak to, you know, all your friends

[00:15:33] and, um, you know, I always have lifelong friends and I'll, I'll always speak with them. But yeah,

[00:15:38] you know, I remember when I was starting my business, it was so hard in the area that I grew up in

[00:15:43] to find other mentors or other people that you wanted to surround yourself. And I really had to

[00:15:48] cut off pretty much everybody I knew because I wanted to grow as a person. I want to find new

[00:15:55] people, people that were going to, that were thinking like myself, thinking bigger than the

[00:16:01] people around me. And it's, and in San Bernardino where I grew up, there was nobody like that.

[00:16:08] Yeah. There was nobody there.

[00:16:09] I get it. Or I mean, maybe there was, but we just, you just didn't find the circle.

[00:16:15] I feel like I had to leave the area to find what I needed to fulfill my purpose at that time. And then

[00:16:25] now again, I feel like we always have to do that inventory. And as I was saying before, it's sometimes

[00:16:32] it's hard. You don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but here's the scarier part. They could be

[00:16:38] sabotaging your destiny. And when you get to heaven and he says, gosh, I've given you so many,

[00:16:46] so many blessings, so many miracles, so many opportunities. And you just kept getting pulled

[00:16:54] back because you didn't step away. Right? Like the man at the river, he was told to get up and walk.

[00:17:02] It's to move, to just start that momentum, change the environment so that you could become a different

[00:17:09] person. Because sometimes you just need to change that environment so that the blessings can start

[00:17:16] flowing into you and into your family, into your friends. So it's just, you know, you feel it,

[00:17:24] you see the gossip, the negativity, the bad habits that are trying to be normalized. Maybe they're going

[00:17:29] to the bar drinking and, um, you know, doing these things. You, you just need to walk away from that.

[00:17:37] And it doesn't, these influences don't just harm you, but they bleed into every area of your life.

[00:17:45] Your marriage, toxic influences can weaken trust, erode respect, and shift your priorities away from

[00:17:53] strengthening your relationship. And that's going to have a ton of weight. It can weaken your marriage,

[00:18:00] or it can strengthen your marriage, your surroundings. And with your children, negative

[00:18:05] surroundings, don't think that your kids can't see because you know they see and listen to every

[00:18:11] single thing that you say and do. They're little mirrors. They become you. Negative surroundings model

[00:18:18] harmful behaviors for your kids, shaping their view of relationships and work ethic and faith.

[00:18:24] I am so protective of the company that we keep, the way they act, the way they eat, the way they talk.

[00:18:32] I will definitely censor and keep the, and our whole community is like that with their kids because

[00:18:39] they know children are sponges. And I don't want to mess up the destiny that they have for them. And also

[00:18:49] your business being surrounded by those who lack integrity and, and they can stunt your ambition.

[00:18:56] They can just wreck everything that, um, has been planned in aligning with your God honoring success.

[00:19:05] And we talked about this a little earlier, but just watch, watch, look around. Don't let,

[00:19:11] don't let the money blind you because nowadays it really is easy to, to make money, but I feel like

[00:19:19] the enemy makes it feel hard. If you surround yourself with the right people, they're going to lift you up

[00:19:29] and catapult you. They're going to show you different ways and different tactics and different

[00:19:36] things to do where some people are like, oh, let's just, let's just not even try. We can get the

[00:19:43] steady paycheck or, or maybe they're being shady. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but

[00:19:51] you're going to, you know, you know, right from wrong. You have that intuition.

[00:19:55] If you're the right, if you're the right person, if you're being the person that you're supposed to be

[00:20:01] and God will put people in your path. I, I, when I was younger and I met, uh, my partner for my

[00:20:11] tap out partner, um, Charles for the first time, the first time I ever met him, I just knew that we

[00:20:18] were going to be friends. And the first time I walked up to meet him, he was reading a Bible

[00:20:24] and there was just, and even though we weren't like, um, it took us a while to really start talking

[00:20:31] about the Bible. I mean, years, but I just knew he was that, that when you meet somebody who's

[00:20:38] reading the Bible, the first time you meet him, who's got a family who's, you know, who has kids,

[00:20:43] who has, who, uh, who, who doesn't drink, who is, you know, whose head's in the right place,

[00:20:51] who wants to learn, who wants to grow in both faith and as a person. Um, you just know that's,

[00:21:00] that's the type of people you want to be surrounded with. And when I came in contact with him, I just,

[00:21:06] I knew that we were going to, we were going to grow closer together and we just continued to talk.

[00:21:12] And eventually it became, you know, uh, uh, a great friendship. And then ultimately, you know,

[00:21:17] we started the business together, but that's, those are the type of people you want to find in

[00:21:22] your life and you have to put yourself in those places. You're not going to find them sitting at

[00:21:28] home. You have to find them in the right places. So that might be at church. Well, yeah, that's true.

[00:21:33] It's easier now. I, I feel like that was maybe back in the day.

[00:21:37] Online or exactly. But, but I still think community, like our community, we have a big community of

[00:21:43] like-minded people. And when we vet people and we talk about what goals they have, there's no way

[00:21:53] I'm going, or we're going to let someone in the circle that just isn't trying to include their family

[00:22:00] on the ride that they're just these selfish people that, Oh, I just want to, I just want the best for

[00:22:07] myself. I mean, that's attractive maybe when you're single, but not now. Now we have other people that

[00:22:13] we need to look out for before we just make a bunch of money. And, and it's not, it's not even,

[00:22:20] it's not even about us anymore. Really. It's about serving other people. I feel that's what brings me

[00:22:26] the most joy. That's why I love this podcast. I love serving other people and I love igniting

[00:22:33] the, the belief in just, I feel like people don't believe in themselves. And if there's something that

[00:22:42] we together can say to ignite that something within someone out there that's listening right now with the

[00:22:51] message that we have and giving them that aha moment and letting them know that they can do

[00:22:58] amazing things and that they were chosen to do incredible things. And then they share their story

[00:23:04] later. Like, I just, this is, I love it. I love it. I love helping people. I love pouring into people

[00:23:10] and I love sharing my testimony and, and letting people know that it is possible.

[00:23:18] When you feel like it's impossible because I've had a lot of those moments, but then when you share

[00:23:25] that story and you just, you feel someone light up and you can bring someone out of the darkness

[00:23:33] that they're in. And then you see them getting goosebumps and you just see them starting to live

[00:23:41] their best life. And you know, they're going to do great things in the world. There's nothing better

[00:23:45] than that. I don't want to, you know, I've been on magazine covers and so have you. I've been

[00:23:52] ripped and abs and everything. None of that matters. The core is serving others to bring them

[00:24:00] on the journey and to be better, be better than me.

[00:24:04] Well, I think in a lot of ways though, in some ways though, don't discount it all because in some

[00:24:08] ways it's the full package, you know, you want to, um, people, you have to be that person. I, I,

[00:24:15] I realized that there's so, I talked to so many people that come up to me and want to ask questions

[00:24:22] about business or how we started our company or whatever. And I'm only in that position. I still,

[00:24:28] you know, I'm only in that position because I've done what I've done because we did what we did

[00:24:34] because we're, um, you know, people are going to, if they look up to, uh, a person who's in great

[00:24:40] shape or running marathon, they're going to come up to them because they've done what they did because

[00:24:46] they ran that marathon because they're in great shape. And because, and I think the, the extra piece

[00:24:53] of it is that both you and I feel that being the right person, putting yourself in the right rooms,

[00:25:01] surrounding yourself with the right people, following faith, that all those things make the

[00:25:06] full package, having a family, putting your family first place, putting God first place,

[00:25:13] puts you in the place where you can help other people because your head's in the right place.

[00:25:19] You're giving the right, you're giving the right information to these people, the right advice to

[00:25:24] these people so that they can walk away with something that can change their life. Because

[00:25:29] there's so many people out there giving bad advice. I hear it all the time on Instagram. I listen to

[00:25:34] some of these people sometimes and I'm thinking, yeah, that person has never started a business. Oh

[00:25:39] yeah, that person's, um, obviously following the wrong God because he's made his God money and,

[00:25:50] or his head's not in the right place or he's willing to do whatever it takes to make money,

[00:25:54] including things that he shouldn't be doing. So, you know, you realize that there is a lot of bad

[00:26:00] information out there. Sure. And you have to be in the right place. You have to be putting yourself

[00:26:06] in the right place so that you can help other people. Yes, I agree. But I also want to point out that

[00:26:12] what may have looked like I was in the right place. And I agree that what may have looked like you were

[00:26:21] in the right place. I know we needed to accomplish certain things, but I feel like a lot of it could

[00:26:28] have been done differently because I feel like I couldn't fully step into my destiny while being tied

[00:26:35] to people pulling me away from it. And I truly feel like I thought I had to go to the gym for hours a

[00:26:44] day. I thought I had to do all these different things. I was surrounding myself with people that just

[00:26:50] didn't have the same vision as me. And I know you did too. I know that a lot of times when we would

[00:26:57] go to these events and stuff, I just, I couldn't wait to leave. Honestly, I couldn't wait to leave.

[00:27:04] I know that I had to do these appearances and you're like, well, you just ghosted out again.

[00:27:09] And I was like, I don't want to be there. It's, I don't want to be there. Like, I know that I have

[00:27:15] the covers. I have to sign this stuff and sign the magazines. I'm going to go in. I'm going to say

[00:27:21] hi and I'm gone. I want to be with my baby. I want to be with you. I don't, I don't, this isn't my life.

[00:27:27] And I feel like it took God giving me the diagnosis to just pull me away. And I know it's supposed to

[00:27:36] feel lonely and maybe you're being pulled out of a certain situation with illness, or maybe there was

[00:27:44] a death in the family, or maybe, maybe something's going on where you feel really lonely. And I feel

[00:27:50] like that's just God trying to make you reassess your surroundings and bring you to your God given

[00:27:58] calling. Because I know that that wasn't it. Yes, it's impressive. Sure. But I just don't feel

[00:28:06] like that was my God given destiny. I feel like this path that I'm on now, this is, this is it.

[00:28:13] And I feel like it is for you too. But again, we've gone back and forth about this because

[00:28:16] I feel, my personal feeling about that is. Well, you're very proud of your accomplishments.

[00:28:21] No, no, no. It's not that. I know that. And I understand that. It's very impressive. Yeah,

[00:28:24] but that's not what I'm saying. For both of us. But we weren't doing things that were,

[00:28:31] I would, I have to say like, you weren't an angel for sure. You weren't an angel. Yeah,

[00:28:37] but I get that. But here's what I'm saying. There could, but listen, listen, listen for a second.

[00:28:41] Now wouldn't you have done things differently? Listen for a second. I'm saying that you have to go

[00:28:46] through some of these, you have to, you have to go down this path sometimes. And it's all a learning

[00:28:57] process. You're going through these certain parts of your life that you have to go through. You're sent

[00:29:04] this way. You know, sometimes when you climb the top of the, when you climbed, climb into the top of the

[00:29:08] mountain, you know, there's, there's hills, there's harder parts. There's, there's going to be

[00:29:14] places where you're, you know, things get easy, easier. And I think part of that was all a road

[00:29:24] that I had to travel to get to where I am today. Because if you're just having a great time and you're

[00:29:31] always doing the right thing, not to say that that path isn't for certain people. No, I don't think

[00:29:35] there's ever going to be just the great time. No, but there's certain people that are on that path

[00:29:40] that when you think about, you know, they might've grown up in a church and became a pastor and

[00:29:46] things, they may have never hit real rocky roads. I don't know. I don't know anyone that hasn't hit.

[00:29:53] certain things to get to where I am. And, and there's also the, the fact that you are able,

[00:30:01] people are willing to listen to you because of what you've done and because of the road that

[00:30:07] you've traveled. They may not, if you just jumped into this, not to say that you still can't have

[00:30:13] influence, but if you were to just jump into this and you haven't been down these hard roads before,

[00:30:18] I get what you're trying to say. I get what you're trying to say. And I feel like because you're flawed,

[00:30:25] you're the best person to talk to. And because I've been flawed, we're the best people to talk to

[00:30:31] because that way people don't make mistakes. We can guide people because we've been through certain

[00:30:40] things in our life. And that's what makes it relatable where we could see the danger coming

[00:30:47] towards someone. And we've lived it. We've been through it. We've done it. And we've survived it.

[00:30:56] As I'm saying, I don't think, I don't think you're wrong at all. I, I think that it's.

[00:31:03] I just think we were meant to go down that path and to get to where we are today. There's a certain

[00:31:09] path that you're meant to go down. You couldn't skip, you can't skip those pieces. It's like doing a

[00:31:14] dot to dot. Well, you can't skip certain dots to make this full picture. As a coach, as a mentor,

[00:31:21] as someone that's trying to teach others about business and all the things that we're trying

[00:31:27] to share. That makes sense. It makes our journey make sense for this and to build that community.

[00:31:35] It's a journey of growth.

[00:31:36] To take people and hold them accountable. You can't hold someone accountable if you don't see

[00:31:42] the danger coming towards them. You're numbed by, you're, you're just numb to it. And if I see a red

[00:31:49] flag coming towards someone or, or they've treated their wife or their husband badly, you know, and

[00:31:57] I'm not going to stay silent. I'm going to encourage them in a loving way that will hold them accountable

[00:32:05] so that they could be a better person. That's the person I am today. That's the person I am now.

[00:32:11] I can see red flags coming in business or whatever, whatever it may be. Right. I feel like we have that

[00:32:19] authority. And in the same respect, it's, it's time right now for everybody who's, who's, uh, you know,

[00:32:26] on this journeys, wherever you are in your journey to, to take that inventory, to look at where you're

[00:32:32] going because we're going into a new year and in 2025, um, if you want to make this year your best

[00:32:39] year and you're, you, you're growing as a person, maybe you have a business. I don't know if you

[00:32:44] have your business or you're, you're thinking about starting a business or whatever you're doing.

[00:32:49] Um, if you're not surrounding yourself with the right people and taking in the right things and,

[00:32:54] and, and you're not building a life that you're going to be proud of, um, then you're, um, you're

[00:33:02] setting yourself up for, for failure. Yeah. And that's so scary if you're not going to fulfill

[00:33:08] what your purpose is. And I'm going to go through the five things that are red flags. There's a lot

[00:33:14] more, but I'm just going to talk about this real quick here because the right people don't just support

[00:33:20] you. They catapult you toward your God given destiny. So what could be destroying or holding

[00:33:26] you back? Well, I would say number one, toxic relationships. Those are those toxic people

[00:33:32] that could be surrounded in whatever environment you're in. Gossip, negativity, a laugh of lack of

[00:33:40] faith as Dan, you were saying, it's going to drain your spirit, emotional and mental energy.

[00:33:45] The Proverbs 13, 20 walk with the wise and become wise associate with fools and get into trouble.

[00:33:55] I think that was the one that you pulled up. I just wanted to share that. And number two,

[00:33:59] negative habits, obviously, you know, and it's, it's day by day. If you're, if you're doing things

[00:34:05] that, you know, you shouldn't be doing, it's never too late to, to cut these things off being around

[00:34:11] people that normalize harmful behavior, like drinking excessively, cheating or neglecting

[00:34:17] their family. You don't, you don't want to pull into these same patterns. You want to, you want to

[00:34:23] stay away. So this is one thing that's going to hold you back. Number three, lack of boundaries,

[00:34:28] allowing others to dictate your time and priorities. That's, that's just going to sabotage the things

[00:34:34] around you. It's going to keep you from focusing on what matters most, God, family, and your purpose.

[00:34:41] And then number four, a distracting environment. Be careful of that. Spending times with those that

[00:34:48] don't align with your faith and values. It's going to derail you and your focus. Psalms 1, 1,

[00:34:56] blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked. Right? Yeah. Now, and then number five,

[00:35:07] fear of change, staying in an unhealthy relationship out of guilt or fear. And we talked about this. This

[00:35:14] is just summarizing quickly for you guys. Don't, don't be afraid of breaking those chains. They're

[00:35:21] chains. It's holding you back. It only prolongs the pain and keeps you from your God-given destiny,

[00:35:28] the blessings that God has prepared for you. So nothing is scarier than that. Hurting their feelings

[00:35:35] or hurting your, your, your blessings that God has prepared for you. Yeah. Sometimes these people

[00:35:41] to show up and they really want the best for you, you know, so it's hard to decipher, you know,

[00:35:47] who you're speaking with or who they are in your life, but. But you know, I think you feel it. You

[00:35:52] got to pray about it. No, you do. You have to, you have to know. Because we're going to get into the

[00:35:55] tactical stuff. But I think you know it a lot. Sometimes you know, and, and sometimes they're just,

[00:35:59] they're worried about you. And, but if you convey your ideas and your, where your head's at and see

[00:36:05] if they're on board, you know, you can kind of feel out whether someone's on board with you. If

[00:36:09] they're, if they're behind you, once you explain, because you may be married and you know what this

[00:36:13] happens in a lot of cases, I've come across this so many times where they, I speak to somebody and

[00:36:19] they're saying, yeah, but my wife is this, or my wife's not letting me do that. Or my wife's saying

[00:36:24] this to me, or she's telling me if I do this, she's going to leave me. I like sometimes you have

[00:36:30] to sit down and have an honest conversation with them because those are boundaries too.

[00:36:35] Yeah. You know, it's like, Hey, I understand that maybe you're a little scared or you're,

[00:36:40] or you're worried that this isn't going to work out, but here's what I, these are the,

[00:36:44] if you explain the process and you include them in the process, you can find that you're on that,

[00:36:50] if you're on that path together, that someone's less likely to be, you know, give you so much pushback.

[00:36:56] Yeah. I think that that's so sad because I feel like as a spouse, we want to be seeing

[00:37:03] the gift that our spouse has within them and, and to push them to their God given destiny, because

[00:37:11] I see the purpose in you. And sometimes I feel like you're not pursuing the great things that,

[00:37:21] and this isn't, I just, I feel like as wives or husbands, you see it in your wives and it's like,

[00:37:29] gosh, she's just settling and she's just being mediocre where she's so, she has this bright light

[00:37:36] within her. And if she just started speaking to the world or to the people around her, she can

[00:37:45] literally change lives. And it's hard because sometimes we get influenced to just, just,

[00:37:51] just have a nine to five, just do this simple job because it's safe, you know, but they don't see

[00:37:58] the blessing on your life. Your spouse should see the blessing on your life and push you. Come on,

[00:38:05] let's go. We got lives to change. We've got things to do. Get up. You just fell down. Get up. Let's go.

[00:38:12] Hold their hand, pull them. Like the other people will not see the blessing that you have on your life.

[00:38:19] I see it. I'm your wife. You see it in me and it's like, get up. Let's go. Let's do this thing.

[00:38:25] People may think that our podcast is stupid, but I know the lives that it's touching. You know,

[00:38:31] the lives that it's touching, but, um, people don't see the blessing on your life unless they're

[00:38:39] meant to see it. And that's the thing. That's why you need to surround yourself with the people

[00:38:45] that are not going to push you to mediocrity or average and just push you to your God given destiny,

[00:38:53] not just push you, but catapult you. Those are the friends you need. Those are the spouses you need

[00:38:58] and have the conversation. Like what, what do you think is the blessing on my life?

[00:39:03] What experiences did I go through that, that I have a testimony in me? What did we go through

[00:39:11] together? Where did, cause it's a simple story and I love it. I can't wait. Actually, I have some

[00:39:18] exciting news, but this year, um, we're going to be doing some interviews. And I tell, I told the

[00:39:24] producers, like, I miss this so much because I know they're focusing on Dan and I, because it's

[00:39:30] really growing the show. I think we're just at top three. Usually we're top five and we're at top

[00:39:36] three, but it's like, okay, so let's get this thing going. And then let's bring the spotlight

[00:39:42] on these couples that have had marriages that were deteriorating or they've faced illness or death or

[00:39:49] whatever they faced. They have these stories that they need to share. And because now we're at this

[00:39:56] level that it's going to get them the ears that need to hear their story. Dang, I just went off topic

[00:40:05] because we're about to get in the tactical steps of how to start today, how to start this blessing.

[00:40:12] We were talking about the blessing on your life where people are pulling you. No, don't do that.

[00:40:16] That's you're being too loud. You're sharing. Don't, don't share your story, share the story,

[00:40:22] give them the testimony because they need to hear it. They need to hear it because they're going

[00:40:28] through. You have the map. You've done it. You've done it. You have, you have the guide.

[00:40:34] You need to help people. This is our obligation because when we get to heaven, heaven, we're going to be

[00:40:41] ask. Did you share it? Did you, I gave you the healing. I gave you the miracle.

[00:40:46] Yeah, but I put all this stuff in front of you and you didn't take it and run with it.

[00:40:51] Yeah. Yes. So anyway, these are the things you see the blessing is find the blessing in your

[00:40:57] friends, point out the blessings in your friends. They don't hear it every day. Tell your wife,

[00:41:03] tell your husband. What are the first tactical tips that people can do?

[00:41:06] Well, number one, evaluate your circle, write down the names of the five people you spend the

[00:41:12] most time with. Are they building you up or holding you back? Be honest. Proverbs 27, 17,

[00:41:19] as you said before, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. That's number one.

[00:41:28] Number two, set boundaries and with love. You don't have to be mean about it. You set boundaries with

[00:41:34] love. I've, I've had to break up with friends and I was very honest. It was a hard conversation.

[00:41:40] They were crying. I was crying, but I just, we both knew we were not on the same path anymore and

[00:41:47] it wasn't healthy and I couldn't be friends with, I love them from far, but we can't hang out anymore.

[00:41:54] We're on different paths. So reduce time spent with those who drain you and prioritize faith,

[00:42:00] faith filled, supportive relationships. The right people will uplift your marriage, encourage

[00:42:07] your parenting and cheer you on your purpose. Yeah. Most, and most likely those are people that

[00:42:13] are in this, you know, value the same things that you do, like your, your family or, you know,

[00:42:19] it's like, it's sometimes, you know, it's like, not that you can't be friends with people that don't

[00:42:24] have a family or that aren't married. I'm not saying you can't, I'm saying you might golf with

[00:42:29] them or something, but here's the truth. I think that if you're, if you're not, if that person

[00:42:34] doesn't value what you have going on in your life and they are pulling you in another direction,

[00:42:41] then you're just waiting for, you'll know, are they talking, are they talking about your spouse?

[00:42:46] This is how I know when my people, and I don't have these people in my life anymore, but they

[00:42:54] just used to ask me about myself and talk about themselves. They never asked about you. They

[00:43:01] never asked about my kids. They never, I didn't feel any kind of passion about you. They just wanted

[00:43:07] to hang out with me, just me. And they wanted me to leave my kids somewhere. And I just knew that

[00:43:14] it doesn't excite me. I love my husband. I love my kids. Now with our community, they love their

[00:43:24] spouses and they love their kids. So they want to pour greatness into their children. They want to

[00:43:30] pour greatness into their spouse. It's not just about them and building whatever their ego driven

[00:43:37] thing is going on anyway. Number three, create a new routine. Join a faith-based community. Attend

[00:43:45] church regularly. If you can't do that, if you're not well, I know we have a lot of people that are

[00:43:50] fighters and warriors out there. Attend it online. I'm not ashamed to say it. I've done that a lot,

[00:43:56] a lot. And you can still worship within the walls of your home with your family. You know,

[00:44:01] God sees it. God sees what you got going on in your heart. And sometimes you got to protect your

[00:44:05] immunity. I'm sorry to say, but you do. You have to protect yourself. You have to protect your life.

[00:44:10] Those little ones need you. And take part in Bible study at home or in groups. Surround yourself

[00:44:17] with people who inspire you to walk with God and encourage strong marriages and values,

[00:44:24] family values. Number four, pursue your God-given goals. Start small and commit to daily steps,

[00:44:32] whether improving your marriage, spending intentional time with your kids. Cause I know

[00:44:37] you guys are building great things out there and don't forget to pour into your kids. What are their

[00:44:42] passions? You can get the little sparks. What, what, what are they gifted with? It's amazing. You know,

[00:44:49] you and I looking at the videos today of the little ones and we saw Daniel was always going to be a

[00:44:55] speaker, but we didn't quite understand it or know it, but he's memorizing stuff and reading these

[00:45:01] books flipping through these empty pages. I even forgot, like I was, I caught a video of me doing,

[00:45:07] um, and I know you did it too, but, uh, we were doing, uh, uh, I was doing affirmations with

[00:45:13] destiny and I was like, she was like two years old there. You know, I, I forget that we were doing

[00:45:18] that, but I did it while they were in my belly. Of course, of course. I, I mean, I, I think about

[00:45:24] those moments, but like, you forget it until you see it. I saw it on video and you're like,

[00:45:30] oh, they're so young, but yeah, it was a part of our everyday thing. And then of course, growing a

[00:45:35] business that honors God, you know, just building a business the right way. Number five, and this is

[00:45:41] my favorite one, pray for guidance and strength. I've, I've watched my mother do it and my mother

[00:45:48] always got the answers. She believed in angels when, when I, when I didn't quite yet, the lot of

[00:45:56] miracles happened in her life. And I'm so glad that they did because it opened me up to the fact that

[00:46:05] miracles can happen in my life. And they did. And we even witnessed that together. So ask God to show

[00:46:12] you what's holding you back and giving you the courage to step into relationships and habits that

[00:46:19] align with his plans for you. That's so exciting. Jeremiah 29, 11 for I know the plans I have for

[00:46:28] you declares the Lord. And that's, that's where it ends, but it begins. This is the year that it

[00:46:36] begins. This is it 2025 guys. I think it's going to be a huge year for all of us, for us too.

[00:46:42] And our, we're, we're excited about growing our podcasts, growing our community. I mean,

[00:46:49] everything is fun to us. Daniel's growing. Destiny's growing in so many ways. It's, it's fun

[00:46:54] watching them grow. Um, and hear Daniel talk about what he wants to do in his life.

[00:47:01] And so all that is exciting. You guys are going to do big things this year and we're excited for you.

[00:47:06] And we're excited to hear from you too. If you have something on your mind, something that you're big,

[00:47:10] audacious goal for 2025, why don't you leave it in our comments so we can, we can, uh, uh,

[00:47:17] check it out and, uh, and we'll hold you accountable. Yes. And just remember reinvention

[00:47:22] isn't just about making resolutions. It's about aligning your life with God's purpose and the

[00:47:28] right people that strengthen your marriage and inspire your parenting and push your business

[00:47:34] towards success. Letting go of people or habits that don't align with his plans.

[00:47:38] Like Daniel said at the top of the hour, you are the average of the five people that you surround

[00:47:43] yourself with. Yes. Take that to heart. Yes. Start stepping towards the abundant life that God has

[00:47:50] created for you. Okay guys. Thank you guys for listening to this week's Pretty and Punk podcast

[00:47:56] and this new year's edition. Um, we, we can't wait to hear some of your goals for next year and, uh,

[00:48:03] and let's make 2025 the best year ever. Yes. What's one step you'll take today to align yourself with

[00:48:10] God's purpose. Let's grow together. We love you guys. See you next week. God bless.

[00:48:14] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast. Make sure to never,

[00:48:25] ever take this day for granted. This year is going to be the beginning of your best life. God bless.

[00:48:34] I'm here for listening to this episode of the Pretty and Punk on the Not Parent Podcast.

[00:48:41] We're going to have a blessed year. I can feel it. Now share this episode with all your friends.

[00:48:50] Give us five stars. This will really help us grow and get out to the people who need to hear this.

[00:48:58] We love you. And give us all your support. Have a great day and a great year. Bye!