What If The Family Built Together? Making Room for Every Person in the Calling!

[00:00:00] Picture for a moment a beautiful Saturday morning, the sun shining through all the windows in the house. A mother is at the table with her laptop open and she has an idea she had been trying to turn into a business. But every time she sits down to work on it, something else needs her or someone. Her husband walks in and he sees the screen.

[00:00:30] How's it going? That's his question. And she says fine. Then she closes the laptop. He has heard fine enough times to know there's more to it. So he sits down beside her and she tells them she needs to finish a proposal. She also needs to take their daughter and their son to a birthday party, pick up groceries, and go to the bathroom.

[00:01:00] Answer a customer and find the missing soccer shorts she's been looking for for a week. He listens for a minute and says, I could do the party. I could do the groceries and draw or show me what the soccer shorts look like and I'll help you look for them.

[00:01:22] She looks at him and says, you don't mind? No, this is our family. I'm going to do my part. You don't have to ask me. Just tell me what you need and I would love to help you.

[00:01:37] What time do you need to send the proposal? And there it is. The idea has not changed. The family schedule has. A calling that had been squeezed into whatever time was left now has an actual place in their day.

[00:01:58] Get comfortable, friends, because we're about to have another phenomenal conversation. Grab your loved ones. Grab your favorite snack. And if this is your time, enjoy it. Oh, that's better, right, babe?

[00:02:26] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together, we started a business. And had babies. Now, we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:02:56] Welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable by the Entrepreneur Parents. That's what it's brought to you by. And listen, I am so glad you're here. We have just finished our Mom Supporting Mom series. And it's more than supporting. So when you listen to those or moving forward, I think what I love that has evolved out of that

[00:03:25] is we're really thinking about tactically employing other mothers, right? Giving them attention. Bringing what they're working on attention. Buying from them. And all the things that go into it. Because there's a lot more than just that. And I'd like to take what we learned there in those episodes into our homes.

[00:03:53] And today we're talking about building together as a family. But not the typical way where someone is working on one project. But how to work together as a family. Maybe one of you is starting a business. Perhaps you're changing careers, which so many of our audience is right now. Maybe you're just, I don't want to say just, because that sounds discrediting.

[00:04:21] But perhaps you're creating something amazing. Or studying or working toward a goal that needs more than an occasional late night. The question is, how does the family make room for the work while still caring for one another? That's an important question, friends.

[00:04:45] I believe it starts with telling the truth about what our day actually looks like. So imagine the conversation at the table. That Saturday morning. The sunshiny Saturday morning. That mother may have been saying, I'm fine. Because explaining everything felt like a task. Another task. On top of all the tasks.

[00:05:14] Her husband may have been asking, how's it going? Without knowing which part of the day was making the work that she was trying to accomplish impossible. And once they sit down, that's when they get specific. The proposal needs two interrupted hours. Their daughter and their son need a ride. They need groceries to eat for the week.

[00:05:42] Someone needs to look for the soccer shorts that have been missing. Now they have something they can solve together. And I know it sounds ordinary. And it is ordinary. So much of family life is ordinary. But sometimes we talk about supporting a person's beautiful calling in beautiful, sweeping language.

[00:06:11] And then nobody knows who's making lunch while she finishes the things she said mattered. The practical details are where support becomes visible. And this conversation works in both directions. If your husband has something important he's building, he should be able to bring it to the table too.

[00:06:37] For example, my husband's working on something separate right now. I'm not sure how much he likes it. He doesn't like it. But I don't want to talk him out of it. I want him to go try it. And then once he's finished with it, then he could be finished with it. Or he could keep moving on it if it becomes a passion. But right now I see the struggle where he really doesn't want to do it. But he's doing it.

[00:07:06] I don't want to be the one to talk him out of it. Because what if it's something he ends up liking? Each person needs the freedom to say, this matters to me. And we could look at how to make it possible. So I'm telling him, I'm telling him, leave. Leave all day. Leave for days if you need to. Just go get it done. And I really want him to examine this thing.

[00:07:33] I did this for him with the last thing that he decided that he didn't want to do. And it's important for people to at least try the thing, right? To taste it. To submerge themselves in it. And that is also building together.

[00:07:59] And this is what building together actually asks of us. A family doesn't always need to work on the same project to build together. And this is for something that you're building together as well. One person might be making the product. I'm talking about now I've switched back to talk about, say you're building a company. Say you're all building the same company.

[00:08:28] One person might be making that product that I just mentioned. Another might be creating a calmer evening so that there's time to think, right? While one of us does a thing that we're good at doing, a child might simply know why mom has a notebook full of drawings and who she hopes those drawings might help.

[00:08:58] I would love for us to ask our families more often, what would help you do this well? You might be surprised by the answer. She may need someone to teach or play with the children in another room for an hour, maybe two hours. Or to do the homeschooling. Or teach some kind of lesson. You don't have to homeschool to teach your children something amazing

[00:09:27] or something that you feel that they need to learn, that they're not learning in school. You could do that. Because there's this type of guilt. There's a guilt when, say mom, and I have this, mom's doing something, recording a podcast. And then I come out and the children are sitting on a device or something, which I hate that so much.

[00:09:56] And we'll talk about that another time. Like, what are they watching? What are they doing? Did they learn something? Did they get on something that's just eating away at time? And their purpose in life? Literally, that's what I feel. They're losing their purpose in life. Why did you let them just sit there on the flipping device? You could have been sitting with them, learning. Like, these are the thoughts that go through my mind. And I know I'm not the only one because I talk to other moms.

[00:10:26] So when they do something that is productive and changing the world, right? And they're getting messages, thank you so much for helping me. Thank you so much for helping me. Then you get this guilt and this, like, flood of fear of, oh my gosh, while I'm helping other people, now I wasn't with my children, teaching them, playing with them, cooking with them, whatever it is.

[00:10:53] And they were just sitting there doing nonsense, right? Garbage, garbage, nonsense, whatever, whatever. So if we can have that conversation of absolutely not this, but we could do this, this, this, this, this, or this,

[00:11:14] that gives us moms just such a better feeling for that hour or two that we're, we're, we're doing the family's calling. And we may have a business together, but this is my part. Doing the podcast and recording and talking to our community, that's my part.

[00:11:39] And he, he may, he may need you to listen while he works through an idea without expecting him to have every detail figured out yet. So just listen to him talk about it, what he has planned for the business, not judging it, just listening, listening to it. And then you guys can collaborate on it.

[00:12:08] Or a children may need us to, to stop describing the family project as the reason we're too busy for them. I know the children hear this a lot from my husband and I say, hey, you got to explain what you're doing. Like just be really thorough with them. Tell them what they're doing. Let them sit on it. This is a little bit foreign for him because he didn't grow up that way. I did. I grew up in the business.

[00:12:38] So sometimes it's foreign to him and he just needs a quick little reminder. And we can say, we can also say, I think this works really well for my family. I say, I'm working on this until three and then you and I can play together or the three of us, because we always include the whole family.

[00:13:03] So, and then we can go, we can go play or we can do that research that you wanted to do, or we can go to the park. And here's the thing. You must keep that promise because children don't forget. And those little promises, it hurts. I mean, it hurts me.

[00:13:26] If you say you're going to be home at a certain time, for me, and I know many moms out there too, that's important to keep your word. Or if you're going out of town and you say you're going to be home on Monday, then be home on Monday because I'm depending on you. I'm holding everything down while you're gone. And it's hard. It's hard. You don't know what a lot of these moms are going through health-wise.

[00:13:56] Dad's too. There's a lot of stuff going on. The work deserves time. It does. I don't disagree with that at all. I saw it growing up and I was so grateful to be included. I know that the work deserves time, but so do the people we love. That's the most important.

[00:14:21] I was just listening to this huge podcaster, one of the most popular podcasters in the world. And he poured into his podcast for years into his business. And then he had a son, a beautiful son, a beautiful wife. And then everything changed.

[00:14:42] And he just noticed how people that say that they're successful, when he actually digs, because he digs into stuff. There's so many interviews about people saying, I'm so successful. And then he figures out, hold on. They burned their family down. They weren't successful. I know what true success is. And what he said was having the time with his son and his wife.

[00:15:11] That was success. Working hard before it, that gave him the freedom. And that was success to him. He looks at success totally different now. It wasn't the, I did it myself. I, what is it? I hustled. It's just different. It's different now. When the children, when they come closer.

[00:15:39] So actually, I want to bring that thought back. Think about, think about, think about the kitchen later that afternoon. Imagine their daughter and son finding mom at the table. And they ask, what are you making?

[00:16:00] Well, instead of saying nothing you'd understand, their mother turns the screen towards them and shows them what she's working on. I'm showing a school an idea that will help children enjoy learning. It's like a ninja. Like, I'm doing ninja moves where children are going to enjoy learning.

[00:16:28] And they won't even realize that they're learning such important lessons about mindset, life skills, business, all the things. And the children, they study, they study the picture. And they say, why is that page blue? Right? That's something our children would say. Why is that page blue? I'm trying to think like my daughter.

[00:16:58] And the mother would smile. Well, I hadn't thought about why I chose blue. Which page do you like? Right? Something along those lines. And the little exchange may be as far as it goes in your home. Right? There doesn't need to be a lesson every single time.

[00:17:24] It doesn't have to be this big, I don't know, this big life-changing lesson every time a child walks into the room. But when children are curious about what we do, we can let them see a little bit of it. See into our world. They can learn that a first idea can be discussed. That it can be changed.

[00:17:54] They can learn that adults make things to help other people. It could be so simple. So simple just to include them in conversation. And I'm telling you. I'm telling you because I have a business with my children. And we can learn something from them.

[00:18:20] Children ask wonderfully direct questions that sometimes we don't think about. We should also let their interests remain their own. A family business can be a part of a child's world without becoming the future that, say, we've already chosen for them. Say we put them in soccer or some kind of sport.

[00:18:43] And we've already decided when they were three that they're going to go have a scholarship on this thing that we chose for them at three. They didn't choose it. I mean, sometimes they do. But we have to be so aware as parents. What do our children like doing? In the community, there was someone that said, hey, you should have your son in this.

[00:19:13] In this. He has to be in that. Or daughter. And I'm trying to tell a story without throwing anyone to the wolves. But this happened to us. So someone decided that my son should be doing something. They believed that. And we had the conversation with him. He said, I'm really not interested in that.

[00:19:42] But I'm not mad about the idea. I think it's a great idea. He's just not interested in it right now. And that's okay. It doesn't mean that he's a bad kid or that he's not going to be prepared for life or all these silly things that were said. That's not what he's interested in it right now. So let it go. And we could bring it up another year, another time. Right now, he's interested in the things that he's interested.

[00:20:12] He's incredibly passionate. And why deflate that? Let him pour into the things that he's incredibly passionate about. What he feels is going to change the world. What he feels God has called him to do.

[00:20:27] I want to support him from people and my daughter that want to so strictly do what they feel like doing and forget what the child wants to do. Children pray every day. And they have a calling. And they get answers, too.

[00:20:53] So I don't like to just push things off the table and say, listen, you have to do this. And you're going to get a scholarship when you're graduating. This is what you're going to do. This is what you're going to do. Forget about what you think God has called you to do. I want you to do this. So I want to prepare my children.

[00:21:20] I want to pull them back like arrows and prepare them and launch them into the world, fully prepared with all the things that God has called them to do. That's important to me. Now, saying that, I want to take you to a Bible moment right now. In the first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 12, verse 4 through 6, listen. Listen to this. This isn't part of the verse, but listen.

[00:21:49] Now, there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of service, but the same Lord. And there are varieties of activities, but it is the same Lord who empowers them all in everyone. St. Paul writes about different gifts, different forms of service, and the same God at work through them.

[00:22:19] I think of that when I look around. I look around a family. You may have the person who could see an opportunity. Someone else may know how to organize the steps. Another person notices when everybody is tired, and it is time to put the work away. Those gifts can serve the people in your home.

[00:22:48] So here is something I want us to consider. Have I made space to see what the people beside me are good at? Have I told them? Building together becomes a much warmer experience when everyone knows their contribution is seen. Grab your journals and something to write with.

[00:23:16] If you have your journal, write down one goal your family is living alongside right now. Something that you guys are going after together. It may belong to your father. Your spouse. It may belong to your child. Then ask yourself, does everyone who is affected by it understand what they are trying to do?

[00:23:43] Because whenever anyone in the family does something or goes after something, it's going to affect the rest of the family. See, I know a lot of moms, they're dealing with this right now. They've hung everything up. They're following their husband. And sometimes they haven't even had the conversation of exactly what the goals are together, what they're going after.

[00:24:11] So if, and this happens a lot, friends, if it doesn't work out, it affects everyone. If it doesn't work out financially, it affects the wife. It affects the children. It affects everything like a domino effect. So it's very important to discuss these things so that there's not resentment.

[00:24:36] Because perhaps she stepped back from something that was paying incredibly well, but she was trying to do the right thing as a wife and it just didn't work out. Those are hard things. Those are things that people are going through. Now, also, where is the pressure showing up in, in our, let's start small, in our weeks,

[00:25:01] in our week, in this week ahead, where is the pressure showing up in our week? What specific help have I needed but struggled to ask for? I'm that person. That person's me. I got my hand up. I have a hard time asking for things. And I don't know why. I think it's because I've always been really independent. I grew up that way. I didn't ask.

[00:25:30] My mom taught me. I raised the children like this to look around and see what needs to be done. But for me, it was different. I really, really had to take extra because it was just me alone. And I didn't want my mom to carry everything. So I'd really try to just get everything done where she didn't even notice. And I don't know. I carried that into life.

[00:25:56] Plus being this go-getter, really trying to succeed and be successful at everything. And again, just like that podcaster, everything changed when I had children. But anyway, back to the actual question that I asked. What are you dealing with? What are you struggling to ask for? Write it down.

[00:26:22] And whose goal in the home might need more room than it's getting? This could be your wife, guys. If you're going after something and she hasn't gone after something in ages, ask her. What are you going after right now? This could even strike a conversation that could start a family business and everyone working on that goal.

[00:26:49] Or maybe it's your goal and you want to involve everyone in it. Just think about it. Poppy. She had this idea, right? The apple cider vinegar drink. They all decided to work together. Her husband decided to do it. People doubted them. They did. But they kept going because they believed in it. They had a covenant together. And they knew. They knew.

[00:27:17] Even though perhaps, I mean, I know they did have moments of doubt because I've heard this story. Every business I've interviewed, every couple that built together, they had moments of doubt, but they kept going. Because why? Because they discussed the goal. If your child is old enough or children are old enough, consider one question you could invite them to answer.

[00:27:45] Is there anything about our schedule you wish we could do differently? I mean, a great one is wake up before the kids and get started. Get some of this stuff out of the way before they wake up. Whatever. Just really ask them a question pertaining to what you think that could open a conversation.

[00:28:12] Because one question may open a conversation to other thoughts that you may not have even considered. So just have the conversation. Listen to what they say. You may not be able to change everything. But you could let their experience matter as you make the plan for what you are trying to achieve.

[00:28:36] I want to bring a legacy challenge into this this week. Have one family conversation about a goal. Simple. Just talk about a goal. Keep it simple. Name the goal. Say what time or help that it needs. So perhaps it's 30 minutes a day. Perhaps it's an hour a day.

[00:29:05] And then what kind of help does it need? And look at the calendar together. Before the conversation ends, choose one small change for the coming week. Put the protected time on the calendar. And decide who will handle the other responsibilities during that time. Decide when the work stops. Because it has to stop at one point.

[00:29:35] It can't be going on all day. And you have to decide when the work stops. And family time begins. So many families, they're in this struggle mode. And they just keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. And they look back and they're like, dang. I think I lost those important years.

[00:30:01] And let me tell you guys, you can tell by the connection. You'll be able to tell by who the people gravitate towards if you made a mistake. And you don't want to make that mistake. That one's heartbreaking. That's another thing that podcaster was talking about. That if you dedicate all your time to your business, someone else will get your family. So that was powerful.

[00:30:32] Then check in afterward. Did the plan help? What needs to change? So see how it goes. Because you can always change and pivot. A family can learn its way into a better rhythm. That's not impossible. That's the beautiful thing that it's easy to do. You just have to commit. And then imagine for a minute. Remember our family?

[00:31:01] At the end of that Saturday, the proposal had been sent. The groceries are put away. The soccer uniform, the full thing. The shorts are found. Soccer uniform is in the bag. Their daughter is. And son have come home with a party favor that they can't wait to show their mother. And listen, there will be another busy day.

[00:31:30] There may be a rejection email to the proposal. We don't know yet. They may need to change the plan next week. She may need to adjust some stuff. Or there may be a celebration. Still, something good happened at that kitchen table. Two people spoke honestly about the work and the life that surrounds it. They found a way to care for both.

[00:31:59] The business and the life that they are building together. That is a skill worth growing in our homes. And on that thought, let's come together in prayer. We always say it when two or more come together. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, God, thank you for the people you have placed in our families. And the gifts you have given each one of us.

[00:32:30] Us as parents. Our children's gifts. Help us speak clearly about what we need. And listen carefully when someone else does the same. Give us wisdom with our schedules. Patience when plans change. And gratitude for the work that often goes unseen. Help our children feel loved and included as they watch us build.

[00:32:59] Give them room to discover their own gifts and interests. Teach us to care for one another through the ordinary decisions of each days. And we say this in Jesus' name. Amen. If this episode brought someone in your family to mind or in your friendship circle, circle, in your friendship circle to mind, share it with them.

[00:33:30] And, hey, make time for the conversation. Maybe you're sending this to your spouse because you think this is something that you guys can work on. Send it to the person that comes to mind. And follow the Entrepreneur Parent Podcast for more faith, family, purpose, and the life we are building together. If the show has been meaningful to you, leave five golden stars. Don't forget.

[00:33:58] Leave five golden stars and a kind review to help other families find us. These conversations are gold when you're building something together. Something like a, let's see, a legacy together. And also, friends, come listen to the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show with Daniel and Destiny.

[00:34:20] It's a screen-free place where children can hear stories about faith, character, leadership, and what they might create. We just finished recording an episode with Daniel and Destiny. And you guys are going to love it. And if you'd love to help produce one of their shows, because you know what it's doing. You know what it's doing. It's planting seeds of greatness in our future generations.

[00:34:48] And these lessons and these stories and the things that they go over. It's really such a treasure for the children in our community. And if you'd like to leave a gift, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneurkids. All the links are in the show notes. And you can do that. And many of you have been buying me coffees.

[00:35:15] And I am so grateful for that. I'm just, listen, I'm just going after what I feel like I was called to do. And I'm so grateful that we've built this incredible community. And when you offer to buy me a coffee, I'm grateful. So you could just leave it at the same place. You can send a private message on there. You could send a public message.

[00:35:42] And you can also continually leave a gift each month. Or you could leave a one-time thing for me or the kids. We're grateful. Thank you in advance. And we're just, we're going to keep working. We're going to keep working. We're going to keep doing this thing. We're going to keep showing up. And again, we're grateful for you. We're proud of you for pouring into yourselves and your families.

[00:36:10] Until next time, protect what matters. Keep building your family's legacy. And remember that people in front of you are part of the God-given destiny. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God always. And I can't wait to talk to you again. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about.

[00:36:39] Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Unforgettable Family Legacy.

[00:37:08] God, if no one told you yet. Good job. And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only.

[00:37:37] And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.