They're Not Falling Behind, They're Just Beginning!

[00:00:01] Picture a child walking into their first lesson. They've talked about these lessons all week. They've been planning for it maybe for years. They wanted the shoes. They wanted the instrument. They wanted the chance to try. Maybe it's ballet class. Maybe it's dance class. Maybe it's some kind of music class.

[00:00:29] Maybe it's a sport. But now they're here and somebody else already knows what to do. Their excitement gets quieter. The child, they get a little quiet because they see how experienced this other child is. And they look toward you and afterward on the way to the car they say something that you weren't expecting.

[00:01:00] I'm not good at this. It was their first day. But somewhere between wanting to try this new thing that they were dreaming about and actually trying, they decided they were supposed to know how.

[00:01:18] Get comfortable friends because we're about to have another valuable conversation. Grab your favorite people. Grab your favorite healthy snacks. And if this is your time, take it. Let's go. Ooh, that's better, right babe? Yeah!

[00:01:47] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:02:17] Welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast, where we grow in faith, strengthen our families, and become more intentional about the legacy that we're building. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi, and I've got little Daniel on my lap and we're so glad that you're here.

[00:02:41] Today, I want to talk about giving our children room to be beginners. And perhaps giving ourselves that room too. You know, we need that too. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed or we feel we need to step into courage to try something new.

[00:03:03] I think as parents, as adults, we need to give ourselves that permission to grow and learn new things and become beginners. We don't know everything. Did you know how to be the perfect mother or father as soon as the babies were born? I mean, we had an idea from our own family or parents that we looked up to, but we had to be beginners at one time.

[00:03:31] We had to be beginners in our first job. And this is what the conversation's about. It's, listen, it's hard. It's hard to watch your child struggle with something that they're excited about. You remember their face when they, when they asked to do it and perhaps now they're frustrated and you want to help them feel better.

[00:03:56] So you say something along the lines of you're doing great, but they know that they couldn't follow the steps. I remember being frustrated of this when I was a child myself, I had to perform on a, a large stage in front of a huge audience. And I didn't know the steps.

[00:04:21] Also, although granted, I started two weeks early and I begged the teacher to let me perform in this show. And she agreed and I did, I, I did a really great job. I did, but I messed up on some steps. And in my head, I knew that the audience didn't know it though. This is a lifelong lesson that I share with people.

[00:04:46] The audience thought it was part of the show when I made a mistake and they stood up, they were laughing, they were clapping. And I myself was frustrated at myself and I, I threw my little pillow is a Hungarian folk dance. It was called the pillow dance. And I threw the pillow out onto the audience, onto the audience because I was so frustrated. And I had my feelings hurt because they were laughing.

[00:05:14] And my mom ran up to me afterwards behind stage and said, why did you do that? Why did you do that? I said, because they were laughing at me. They knew that I made a mistake and that I just started. And all these things came out and the little tears. And, and she said, darling, they did it because they thought you were adorable. They thought it was part of the show. And that was such an aha moment for me.

[00:05:40] And that's also how I got the nickname, spicy little pepper, right? Hungarians, they love their paprika, cheapish paprika, spicy little pepper. That's what I got. But what I thought and what they thought were totally different. So perhaps your child couldn't follow the steps or they heard the wrong notes. Maybe it's a music class or, or they saw other children finish before them.

[00:06:10] Maybe they're running or doing some kind of sport. The goal, the goal. They haven't had the goal yet. Sometimes, sometimes we can meet them more honestly. I love you, baby. Okay. Have fun playing. I love you. You can come back and cuddle after. I love you, Destiny. I love you, Daniel. What was I saying? Oh my goodness.

[00:06:40] They, they, they have my heart. They have my heart. Daniel's not feeling that great today. He's got a, his throat, his throat is, is sore or that's what he told me. And I believe him, but he wanted a spoonful of honey. Oh, so anyway, where were we? Oh, where were we? Gosh, those children are such a blessing. I'm so grateful. So sometimes we can meet our children more honestly.

[00:07:11] That was harder than you expected. Wasn't it? The truth of it that we need the truth of it. I need to hear that truth too, as, as an adult and let them tell you, let them tell you their thoughts. Then you can say, you're learning something you haven't done before. We can give this some time. Let's give this some time. Remember this for yourself as well.

[00:07:41] We're always learning something new, something that we haven't done before, or I sure hope that we are. That's a sentence I want us to remember. Remember, we can give this some more time. We can, we can give this some more time. It's okay because wanting to do something and knowing how to do it are totally different experiences.

[00:08:06] A child can love music and find the violin practice frustrating. It's challenging. It's supposed to be. You're learning. Your brain is taking in new information. Your fingers are doing things that they've never done before. Dance class, a sport. You're moving in ways you have not moved before. You're remembering a lot.

[00:08:34] Your brain is working differently. It's beautiful. They can want to speak on a stage and feel nervous holding the microphone. That goes for us too, but you do it anyway. My daughter always says you could be scared, but you do it anyway. Of course, if you're doing the right thing. Other times that fear is our body telling us that we're in a bad situation. We have to listen to that.

[00:09:03] That I'm talking about unsafe strangers or unsafe situations. We have to listen to that, that and distinguish the difference. And this is where we can make the next attempt manageable, easier. Perhaps the whole song feels overwhelming. Maybe it feels completely overwhelming.

[00:09:29] Ask the teacher which small section to practice. Take it in small bites. One step at a time. One step at a time. Perhaps introducing themselves feels uncomfortable. You don't have to speak on a stage to thousands, thousands of people to, to, to inspire people. Sometimes it's just introducing yourself.

[00:09:58] That's a big deal. And maybe it feels uncomfortable first. Practice that first sentence together at home till it feels comfortable. Give them something they can work on. Let's give our children something that they could work on. Then let them return to it. Take it in, in, in bits.

[00:10:26] And we also need to be careful about what we compare. That child across the room that they look at may have been taking lessons for years since they were a toddler. Gymnastics, dance, some kind of music lesson. They could be, they could have taken that since they were little infants.

[00:10:54] Not little infants, but toddlers. Ours started on Tuesday when they were 15 or five or 10 or whatever it may be. But our child may have just started today. Of course, of course their work looks different. Of course.

[00:11:22] And we can help our children understand that, that, that that's, that's the difference. Without making either child feel uncomfortable about this learning process or smaller. They've had more practice. That's the only difference. Look at this for yourself too. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed.

[00:11:47] Gosh, I could never, I could never speak on camera or stage, or I could never do that job. I could never be a flight attendant, whatever it is. You're just getting started. That's the only difference. And let's be thoughtful about how much attention we put on those early attempts.

[00:12:15] Sometimes we're so excited that perhaps we immediately reach for the camera, but a child might appreciate a chance to practice without an audience. Without a recording. Without wondering who will see it later. Whatever. We can ask before filming. My, my children, they really like, they like to watch feedback. I don't know if that's because of, of me.

[00:12:45] I like to force myself to listen or watch the things that I've created so I can learn from them. So every child is different. I bring this up because in the community, there was some children that really, they really didn't want to be recorded. They didn't even want to be watched. My children are different. They, they have their preference of, they want to be recorded.

[00:13:14] They want to be watched. Um, and they want to know, they have so many questions. Every child is different and every, um, I guess every request you could call it is, is beautiful. It's right. There's no wrong way to go about it. It's their preference. We can, we can let a lesson simply be a lesson. Just let it be a lesson.

[00:13:43] If that's what they prefer, prefer. And if they keep, if they keep feeling unhappy, we can talk with them and, and their teacher. Perhaps they need a different approach, more support or an activity that suits them better.

[00:14:05] I know there's people in our community that shared this, that, that their children tried something and they really didn't like it. And then they, they pivoted and that next thing became their thing. And then later on in years, they pivoted again. They pivoted, pivoted again, pivoted.

[00:14:34] Oh yes. So I mean, we have children of all ages in our community and I feel it so, yeah, so, so beautiful. When parents can talk about the experience that they had with their children and they share the pivots and they share, or they share that the thing that they, they were interested. That was their thing right away. I love hearing the different experiences.

[00:15:04] Listen, there's room to investigate. For today though, let's avoid asking the, the first attempt to tell us the whole story. Remember it's the first day of practice. And on that, take a moment to grab your journal and something to write with. You have a quiet moment.

[00:15:31] You can, you can ask yourself these questions or you could do it right now. If you're, if you're available and ready, there's no pressure. How do you, how do you, how do you, how do you respond? Don't judge yourself. Just write it.

[00:15:56] Do I become impatient, embarrassed, worried that we're wasting time, guilt? I know, I know, I know many people in our community shared that they felt guilt growing up because they suddenly weren't interested in something or they, they just, that wasn't something they wanted to do.

[00:16:22] And that's where this question comes into play. And where in my own life have I expected myself to be good before giving myself time to learn? This will tell us a lot about ourselves. They may, there, there may be something here for both of us. I'm telling you. And if anything else comes to mind, share that too.

[00:16:51] Share that, share that too. Just spill it out on the page. I'm so proud of you guys for taking part in this exercise, in these exercises every week. It's not always easy. And now I invite you into the Legacy Challenge this week. Choose one thing your child is learning. Help them identify a small part they can practice.

[00:17:21] Invite them to practice with guidance if needed. If they need it, they may not need it, but if they need it, provide that guidance. Keep the goal manageable enough that they understand what to do next. So don't bite off anything huge. Remember, we're talking small little steps. Maybe it's introducing themselves. Practice that at home.

[00:17:51] Maybe it's ordering something at a restaurant. And, or online. It really, honestly, it could be anything. And just start small. Start small. And maybe next time, they'll be booking the whole trip. A lot of children are booking trips for the family. Friends, there's something tender about a child's first attempt.

[00:18:20] They're stepping into unfamiliar territory. Often while we watch. Let's give them enough patience to discover what practice can do. They're allowed to be new here. And so are we. Let's take this advice, all of us together. On that, let's come together in prayer.

[00:18:45] Remember, when two or more come together in prayer, we are unstoppable. So let's take a moment here. Heavenly Father, God help us guide our children with patience. Give us wisdom to recognize when they need encouragement, practical help, or a different approach.

[00:19:11] And help us remember that we're all still learning. Give us the courage and surround us with love while we step into these new things together. Our children, us. And we say this in Jesus' name. Amen. Friends, thank you for being here.

[00:19:36] Thank you for pouring into yourselves and into your families, into your marriages. I'm really proud of you guys when you reach out and share what you're going through in this season of your life. If your friend is finding something difficult right now, you don't have to figure out their whole future today. Simply stay close. Help them with the next step.

[00:20:06] And give them time to learn. There is so much still ahead of them. And they get to begin with you beside them. That is the gift. That is the blessing. Follow the Entrepreneur Parents podcast. Share this episode with another parent or someone that comes to mind. And leave five golden stars, as Daniel and Destiny say.

[00:20:33] And leave a kind review if this encouraged you. All those little actions, those just a few seconds helps these conversations find families that need it. And for screen-free learning that plants seeds of greatness in tomorrow's leaders, join Daniel and Destiny on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show podcast.

[00:21:01] Friends, all the links are down below. And if you'd like to help sponsor or produce one of those shows, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneurkids. You can buy me a coffee there too. Many of you have asked and have done that. And I love it. I love it. It makes me giddy. It's like getting a bouquet of flowers. And I'm so grateful because I love, I love showing up.

[00:21:31] I love, I love doing this. And I'm grateful. I feel called to do it. I'm telling you, like when you guys give me a gift, it just, it honestly, it means so much. And I'm so glad that it is touching you guys and connecting with you guys in the right way. And I'm just, I'm so grateful for this community and the children are too. Until next time, friends, protect what matters.

[00:22:01] Keep building your family legacy. And remember the people in front of you are part of your God-given destiny. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God always. And I can't wait to talk to you again. And don't forget all the links are at the bottom. Come introduce yourselves. I would love to hear what you're building with your family. God bless you.

[00:22:25] Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family.

[00:22:52] It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. We know you'll love. Unforgettable family legacy. God bless you again. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story.

[00:23:22] Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth.

[00:23:52] Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.