The Ride Home Matters More Than You Think!

[00:00:00] Close your eyes for a moment and imagine this. The game has ended and your child climbs into the car, drops their bag and reaches for their water. You've been watching from the sidelines. You saw the moment they hesitated, the past they missed. You have an idea.

[00:00:30] That might help next time. And before you even leave the parking lot, you begin. Because you know, you know that this is going to help. Do you know what you should have done? They turn toward the window and they look out, far off into the distance. You wanted to help them improve.

[00:00:58] But you hadn't yet asked what the afternoon was like for them. Get comfortable, my friends. We're about to have another valuable conversation. Grab your favorite people. Grab your favorite snack. And if this is your time, you take that time for yourself. Let's go. Uh, no.

[00:01:28] Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe? She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles.

[00:01:57] As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Welcome back to becoming unshakable brought to you by the entrepreneur parents podcast, where we grow in faith, strengthen our families and become more intentional about the legacy we're building together. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi. And I'm so glad you're here. I am today.

[00:02:28] Let's talk about the car ride home. After the game. After the game. After the audition. After whatever your child had the courage to show up for. As parents, we invest so much. We do, don't we? We arrange the lessons, remember the equipment and move things around so our children can participate.

[00:02:55] We want that time to mean something. And when we notice something they could do differently, it could feel natural to explain it immediately. But there's a question worth asking ourselves. Is my child ready to receive this right now? It's a great question. We should ask this question for ourselves.

[00:03:24] They may, they may, they, they may be tired. Thirsty, hungry, disappointed. Maybe their mind is elsewhere. They may already know exactly what went wrong, what they could have done better. The lesson learned, or they may be excited about something we didn't notice. They're focusing on the good thing, the positive thing.

[00:03:50] That's why I like to begin with something simple. I'm glad I got to be there. Then give them a little room. You can ask something along the lines of how, what, how, how was that for you? How did it go? Their answer might surprise you. Perhaps they're upset about a mistake you barely noticed.

[00:04:18] Maybe you know, maybe you noticed the other thing, or maybe you didn't notice anything at all. Perhaps they're delighted because someone included them. They're not even focused on the other thing. They're excited about this thing. Perhaps they just, they just want to know what's for dinner. They're hungry. We don't, we don't need every ride home to become a teaching moment.

[00:04:47] Although it's a great, it's a great place for those, but it doesn't have to be every time. Sometimes a sandwich or homemade goulash or chicken soup and a little ordinary conversation are enough. And when they do want to talk, we can find out what kind of conversation they need. Would you like help thinking it through?

[00:05:17] That could be the question or, or would, or would you like me to listen? I know my son asks me something. He's so precious. My daughter does the same thing sometimes. They say, they say that this is among many, but this just happened the other day. They said, do you want me to be nice or do you need to be honest?

[00:05:48] So, so, so I mean, maybe, maybe would you like, would you like help thinking it through? Or do you want me to listen? Okay. That could, that could be our language of the day. And if they want help offer something manageable, don't give them a million different things to change right then and there. Or rather than revisiting every mistake or what we like to call it on our family lesson.

[00:06:17] So they're, they're welcome. They're exciting. It's a challenge. Lessons are exciting, right? Choose one thing together. And if they have a coach or teacher, let that person guide the technical instruction. And then you can have the conversations and you can say, that sounds like a good question to ask your coach.

[00:06:47] That sounds like a good question to ask your coach. Well observed. We can support their learning without feeling responsible for delivering every lesson ourselves. I know that as parents, we, we feel like it's us sometimes to give them the courage to ask others for, um, to pour into us. I think that's a valuable lesson. In fact, I know it cause I've seen it.

[00:07:17] And what about when they've done well? Let them enjoy it. Let them enjoy it. We don't have to follow every celebration with next time you could, or I can't believe you did that, or just there will be another practice. It's not the end of the world. It's not that serious.

[00:07:44] There can be an evening where, when, when we're simply just happy together. You don't have to make something big out of it. Something, uh, I don't know. It doesn't have to be something crazy. We just simply enjoy each other. Put the phones down, put the lessons down. Just let's just enjoy each other today. Look at everything that went well.

[00:08:13] Now, perhaps you're listening and remembering a, uh, a car ride home when, when you said too much. You can return to that conversation. In fact, you should. It's, it's, it's accountability. It's respectable when an, when one of us as an adult take accountability.

[00:08:41] Uh, it's, it's world changing. It's a turn on, isn't it moms? It is a turn on. That is the most attractive thing. So as parents, we can return to that conversation. Maybe it happened. Maybe it happened last week. Maybe, maybe it happened a few years ago. Imagine it happened the other day and, and it could sound something like this. I was thinking about yesterday.

[00:09:11] I started giving advice before asking how you felt. I'd really like to hear your side. That's a useful thing for our children to experience. A parent willing to reconsider. We're learning how to support them as they grow. We won't get every moment, right?

[00:09:35] But we can come back with responsibility, accountability and more understanding. And again, we should. I'd love to take you to a Bible moment. The book of Proverbs chapter 15, verse 23 says, A man had the joy by the answer of his mouth.

[00:10:02] And the word spoken in due season, how good it is. A word spoken in due season. That tells us timing matters. Something helpful may be received better after our child has rested, eaten, or had a chance to explain what happened.

[00:10:27] We can be thoughtful about, about when we speak. We need to be thoughtful about when we speak. Now grab your journals and something to write with. Take this quiet moment and reflect on the last time your child finished an activity. What did you say first? No judgment, just say it.

[00:10:55] And what were you carrying into that conversation? Write that down. Was it excitement? Concern? Expectations about how they should have performed? Ask yourself,

[00:11:18] what would help me meet my child in a little moment more curiously next time? If something else comes to mind, write that down too. Remember, no judgment. We're just, we're learning so much about ourselves here. And let's carry it into the legacy challenge. On your next ride home, begin with connection first.

[00:11:47] Tell your child that you're glad you were there. Then ask how the experience felt to them. And let their answer guide the conversation. That's it. Easy. Easy peasy and beautiful and so profound. Your child will have plenty of things to work on as they grow. They will.

[00:12:17] We still have plenty of things to work on as parents, as adults. You can help them do that while making room for the rest of their experience too. All of it. Embrace all of it. The friendships, the funny moments, the reason they want to participate. The reason, it's all about the reason they wanted to participate in the first place. Let yourself hear those stories.

[00:12:46] And go from there. Now let's come together in prayer. When two or more come together, you know it friends. Heavenly Father, God, give us wisdom in our words and patience in our timing. Help us understand what our children need after a difficult day or an exciting achievement.

[00:13:15] Teach us to guide them with kindness and to enjoy the time we have together. We know that it flies by. And we're so grateful for this. And let them know how grateful that we are for the opportunity to guide them, to love them. And let us fully pour into that and enjoy it. We say this in Jesus name. Amen. Friends, thank you for being here.

[00:13:44] The next car ride gives you another opportunity. You can put the advice on hold for a moment. Settle into the drive and get to know the beautiful little child beside you. Get to know them a little better. There may be something that they've been wanting to tell you. Embrace those moments. Friends, they truly are treasure.

[00:14:13] And friends, follow the Entrepreneur Parent Podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this conversation with another parent or someone that needs it. And leave five golden stars as Daniel and Destiny like to say in a kind review if this encouraged you. It really, truly helps these conversations get to those that need it. And again, I'm grateful that you're here.

[00:14:42] Oh, oh, I almost forgot. For screen-free learning that plants seeds of greatness in tomorrow's leaders, join Daniel and Destiny on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show. And if you'd like to help produce those shows, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneurkids. And you could buy me a coffee as well. I appreciate it so much.

[00:15:10] Don't forget, all the links are down in the show notes. My socials are there. I love when you guys reach out and share what you are building. If you want to share it, share something that you've created. I'm talking about content. That's what we do there. We share. We share. We share what you guys are building.

[00:15:37] And I'm so grateful to get to know you guys and see who's in the community. Until next time, protect what matters. Keep building your family legacy. And remember, the people in front of you, those beautiful faces in front of you, they're part of your God-given destiny. That is the blessing that God has given you. Spend the time there. Okay?

[00:16:07] Take the time. Build with them. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God always. And I can't wait to talk to you again. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. Share with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast.

[00:16:33] It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show.

[00:16:49] We know your level job. And remember, you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you.

[00:17:20] This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth.

[00:17:42] Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you. Thank you.