RETHINKING HALLOWEEN: Why Many Families Are Choosing Something Different!

[00:00:02] It took my babies to bring something to my attention. They were frightened. Some of the decorations they were seeing were gruesome. Things that perhaps some adults might walk past without another thought felt very different to my children.

[00:00:22] And it made me stop and think, why would I ask my children to participate in something that frightened them simply because it was happening all around us? Just because other people were doing it. They were telling me how they felt. And I wanted them to know I was listening.

[00:00:44] Get comfortable friends because we're about to have another important conversation. Grab your loved ones, grab your favorite healthy treat and get snuggled in. Let's go. But no. Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:01:14] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:01:45] Welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable. Brought to you by the entrepreneur parents podcast, where we grow in faith, strengthen our families and become more intentional about the legacy. We're building. I'm Ildiko, and I am so glad you're here today. I want to share about, I want to, well, I want to have a conversation about how our family approaches this season,

[00:02:11] this Halloween season and the beautiful tradition we've chosen instead. We don't celebrate Halloween in our home. I know families listening will make, perhaps we'll make different choices. I know that a lot of families are on board with us and everyone, everyone is welcome to this conversation.

[00:02:36] I'm sharing what matters to us and how listening to our children helped us become more intentional. When Daniel and Destiny expressed how uncomfortable some of the decorations and traditions around them made them feel, I took that seriously. And as a mother, I had to.

[00:03:03] We began looking more closely at what we were seeing and talking about it through our faith because there was so much going on in this season. For our family, those frightening images didn't belong in the atmosphere that we wanted to create

[00:03:26] at home and we made special decisions about where we would go at this time of year to avoid those feelings that the children were having. For example, home, well, one of the, I don't want to throw them under the bus, but some of the home hardware places, they had really, really gruesome decorations.

[00:03:53] Ones that, that created fear, nightmares, and just this, this feeling that our children didn't need, not in our home. We wanted our home to reflect our love for Jesus Christ. That's what the goal was. And that's what my son brought to my attention one year is that I don't think that, I don't

[00:04:23] think that God wants us to feel this way. I don't think that God wants us to see these things. And I started going down the rabbit hole with my husband, our family. We decided to make some different changes. And I found myself asking, what are we actually inviting our children to enjoy? Are they even enjoying this? Because from what they've shared, they're not.

[00:04:52] Sometimes a tradition, listen, it's true. Sometimes a tradition becomes so familiar that we forgot that we're allowed to reconsider it. Just because perhaps our parents celebrated or their parents' parents. We can, we can recreate traditions with our own family. Think about that. We can ask whether it fits our family now.

[00:05:20] In this situation, our children were giving us a very clear place to begin. They were scared. They didn't want to participate. And I wanted them to experience telling us something uncomfortable and having their words. I wanted them to know that I would always take their words seriously.

[00:05:49] That I'm not going to just slough it off because, what? Because we're following the crowd. If they have a strong intuition, a strong feeling about something. And if I were to just sweep that under the rug. What is that telling my children about me and our relationship? And honestly, this has become a moment of learning for me too.

[00:06:19] I'm deeply passionate about protecting my family and my children. Absolutely. 100%. They come first. But sometimes protection begins with slowing down enough to hear what they're already telling us. Think about that.

[00:06:42] Their discomfort made me look again at the things adults can become accustomed to seeing. Right? Because they've been doing this their whole life. And they think it's something that they need to do. Sometimes our most precious little ones help us see the world differently. What are we doing? We're guiding them. We're teaching them.

[00:07:11] And then they say something that makes us pause and reconsider our own choices. How valuable is that? Of course, parenting sometimes involves helping children through necessary things they find difficult. That is parenting. But that's a different situation. And I'm saying not to do that.

[00:07:34] For example, if my son wants to become a speaker or my daughter or they want to put out a podcast, then they have to show up. They have to do things that are different. They have to pitch themselves. If they're starting a business, and we'll talk about this another time, there's no way I'm going to fund that business.

[00:07:55] They have to go and do the scary thing by reaching out to potential investors, having the conversation, and putting themselves out there in an uncomfortable, scary situation, having someone that they truly look up to, perhaps saying, no, you can't speak on my stage. Or, no, I'm not interested in your idea.

[00:08:15] And having to reconsider and replan, do they keep approaching this person and helping them to see their value? Those are the things. Or, of course, making our children do their exercises and pushing them.

[00:08:35] But to put them in a situation that is truly gruesome, if you think about it, some of the things that are going on and dark, dark, and they want to be the light. Why wouldn't we listen? This is an optional celebration. And we could choose something else and create something different with our family.

[00:09:02] So, we have in our home. And there's many people out there that are doing the same, that are reconsidering this season and doing things differently. We choose to spend the evening together. That is a non-negotiable. And we choose to celebrate Jesus and being a light. This was the idea of the children. And I love it. I'm all for it. We watch beautiful, faith-filled cartoons.

[00:09:33] We make our own treats with ingredients that we've chosen. And we enjoy being at home together. And we include our neighbors. We don't open the door. But we have created, because that takes away from our time together. That's the only reason. It's not because we're trying to be mean and ignoring everyone. But we put a nice note out there, a nice letter.

[00:10:01] And we have a lovely display on the patio with treats for the children who come by. And this year, the children have decided to include a little Jesus figure. You know those cute little Jesus figures? They want to include those. So, it's not just a healthy treat that the children can take home and a nice little message that we've left them.

[00:10:25] But this cute little Jesus that Daniel and Destiny decided to buy themselves and share with the neighborhood. And it's something joyful for them to share. And in the morning, they can wake up and see how many of those treats. And this year, the little Jesuses are gone. The children visiting our home are going to feel welcomed and treated kindly.

[00:10:51] And we can be clear about our own beliefs while showing warmth to the families around us without making anybody feel bad. But perhaps this is something that they are thinking about in their minds, right? They have thought about it. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean, what is triggering these other families to say, you know what?

[00:11:20] We actually don't want to do this either. So, perhaps it's the thing that they need is what Daniel and Destiny were saying the other day is maybe, maybe they see this and they may change their tradition just like we did. And we won't be dressing up that evening. We enjoy a dress up celebration that we've created for another time of year.

[00:11:44] And the truth is, there's still so much fun available to us and these other families that are participating in this new tradition that they've created. That's what I want my children to remember. An evening that we thoughtfully made on our own with things that they can look forward to and include in their own legacy with their own children down the road.

[00:12:12] Now, I want to take you to a Bible moment right now. In the gospel, according to Matthew chapter 5 verse 16, Jesus says, Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven. For me, that gives this evening a beautiful purpose.

[00:12:40] How can our love for Jesus be visible in a way in, well, in the way that we treat people? It could be there in our welcome, on the patio, our generosity, and the kindness we show to other children. We can make a thoughtful choice for our own household and speak graciously about our neighbors.

[00:13:11] And there are a few more verses that brought this into focus for me when we started going down this rabbit hole and just opening up the idea to perhaps change this tradition that we did as children. That was honestly, I didn't really like it as a kid. I didn't. I didn't. And my mom didn't like it either. I think I've shared this before.

[00:13:39] She didn't come trick-or-treating with us. But I feel like we didn't see enough people be the example that they didn't have to participate. Honestly, sometimes people said that maybe my mom was unique. Or now that I have the conversations with other families, I said, yeah, you know, this didn't really stem for our family either.

[00:14:04] It wasn't something we would pray for our loved ones and we would have a different kind of celebration. So it did exist. It just wasn't talked about as much as it is today. So listen, in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 8, it says, for ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. Oh, and then there's verse 11.

[00:14:32] Verse 11 says, and have no fellowship with unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. Reading those alongside what my children were telling me, it was like an aha moment. For our family, walking as children of light means being thoughtful about what we welcome into our home, including our entertainment and celebrations.

[00:15:00] And this means our family decided to change the tradition and to share it with others. Because God calls believers to be children of light, to reflect his nature, to reveal a transformed identity. So we could change at any time. That's what it means. And lead others out of spiritual darkness.

[00:15:24] So if they're considering, maybe they've had thoughts of letting go of this tradition, maybe sharing it with others helps them also change the tradition. We decided we could fill this evening with things that reflect the love and goodness of Jesus. And that was fun. Again, this is a great celebration for our family.

[00:15:50] And we can reassure our children as we do that because we took their concern, their suggestions seriously. I wanted to share a couple more verses just to back all this thought up. 1 John 4, verse 4 says, He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

[00:16:15] So this means that the Holy Spirit living inside a Christian believer is more powerful than any evil influence, temptation, or force found in the secular world, including the world of darkness. And we want our children to carry that with confidence. Through Scripture, God reminds us not to be afraid.

[00:16:46] Remember that? We talk about this often, not just in this topic, but many topics. 2 Timothy 1, verse 7 says, For God hath not given the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind. If my children feel frightened, they can come to me and they can tell me.

[00:17:13] We can pray together and remember God's love. And as their mother, I can thoughtfully choose what we spend our time watching and celebrating. Friends, grab your journals and something to write with. When you have a quiet moment, ask yourself,

[00:17:34] Is there a tradition that I haven't thoughtfully considered lately? It's never too late to change things. What have my children been telling me about their experience? Maybe we didn't really notice. Maybe we just shrugged it off, sloughed it off, swept it under the rug, whatever it is.

[00:18:04] Have they been telling me something about an experience that they're having? A tradition? A celebration? And what would a joyful celebration that reflects our faith and values look like for us? Give yourself room to answer honestly. Don't judge it. Don't ever judge it. And if there's anything you ever feel is this aha moment,

[00:18:32] Oh my gosh, I just, I want to make this change in my family. But I've been doing this forever. My parents have been doing it. My parents, parents, generation, whatever it is. Right? I mean, for me, my family never celebrated it this way. It was completely different. We're from Europe. My mom would light candles and pray for loved ones.

[00:19:00] Talk about stories about beautiful loved ones that have passed. They didn't get dressed up and walk the streets asking for candy. It was just a different, it was just different. And it's okay. It's okay to change things. So again, don't judge yourself. Whatever, whatever pops up, don't judge it.

[00:19:29] And I wanted to invite you to a legacy challenge. Before the next celebration, whatever that is. Ask your children what they would, what they enjoy. Or if anything worries them. Could be about this season. Listen to them. And then make your family's plan together. Right? Now that you have more care around it.

[00:19:59] Let them have a part in creating something meaningful and new for your legacy. We're allowed to be thoughtful about the traditions we build. Right? Of course. Of course. It's our family. Our children can grow up knowing their family made deliberate choices.

[00:20:24] And they can know that there was warmth, joy, and belonging in these choices. They weren't made to feel bad or follow something of a tradition that they didn't create, that our family didn't create. As we grow in our identity as children of light, it makes sense to reconsider what we enjoy and what we participate in.

[00:20:54] I had such a great conversation with our community the other day. And someone was talking about, how do I know? And this isn't pertaining to this, but just some things. How do I know that I'm growing in my spirituality? How do I know that I'm growing?

[00:21:16] And the topic came up of the things that perhaps we used to enjoy kind of disgust us now. Or we have no interest in those things anymore. And that's a sign. It's a beautiful sign. For our family, that means leaving frightening movies out. Avoiding gruesome decorations and spooky costumes out of our celebration.

[00:21:46] We want what we bring into our home to reflect the one we're teaching our children to follow. And I love and I'm forever grateful that my babies helped me see this more clearly. Their voices mattered in this decision. And now we get to create something beautiful together.

[00:22:16] An evening filled with faith, generosity, and joy. We get to be the light. They get to be the light. So join me, friends, when two or more come together in prayer. That's what we always say when we move into this section. So let's move into prayer together.

[00:22:42] Heavenly Father, God, help us create homes that reflect your love. Give us wisdom to guide our children and patience to hear what they're trying to tell us. Take a moment to stop long enough to hear what they have to say. And may all our celebrations bring us closer to you. And may everyone we welcome experience our kindness and love and our love for you.

[00:23:11] We say this in Jesus' name. Amen. Friends, thank you for being here. And whatever your family is navigating this season, take a moment to consider what you want your children to carry from it. You have an opportunity to create memories rooted in your faith, your values, and the love you share at home.

[00:23:37] Don't forget to follow the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast so you never miss a conversation. Share this conversation with someone who needs it. And leave five golden stars as Daniel and Destiny always say. And don't forget to leave a kind review if it encouraged you. It helps these conversations find the people that need it. And we build this community. I feel like I needed this community. I needed this.

[00:24:07] I needed this. This, this branch. I needed these people around me. And when we share, we help others find their home. Which is, you guys are all our family. And listen, for screen-free learning that plants seeds of greatness in tomorrow's young leaders, join Daniel and Destiny on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy show.

[00:24:33] Friends, if you want to help produce those shows, you can do that by visiting buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneurkidslegacy. And you can leave a gift that helps produce the show. And you can also buy me a coffee. I'm always so grateful. Please introduce yourselves on social media. If you have children,

[00:25:01] introduce what they are going after on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy show page. Or even on the Entrepreneur Parents page. Or my page. I want to know what you're building with your family. Mamas. Dads. Introduce yourselves. And if you have some content that you're building, or that you've created, and you want to share, you have a business that you're building, working hard with. That's what our pages are for. Here we love to share.

[00:25:31] So, God bless you. Introduce yourselves. And until next time, protect what matters. Keep building your family's legacy. And remember the people in front of you are part of your God-given destiny. God bless you. We love you. Glory to God always. And I can't wait to talk to you soon.

[00:25:53] Beautiful friends for listening to this important message from Mama. They're with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family.

[00:26:18] It's called the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy. We know you'll love. Unforgettable family legacy. God bless you. We love you. And parents, if no one told you yet, let us be the first. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember,

[00:26:47] you are the hero of your story. Because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only. And it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight

[00:27:16] and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you. for coming up. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.