Not Every Friend Is a Friend to Your Marriage!

[00:00:02] Imagine this for a second with me. He receives a phone call from a friend. There's an opportunity on the table. It's a really good one. The kind that makes you sit up a little straighter when you hear it. His friend explains what they are planning, who will be there and what this opportunity could potentially lead to.

[00:00:30] He's interested. Of course he is. It's so good. It's so good. But the date means something to his family. Nothing the rest of the world would ever consider important. It's not a national holiday and no, it's not a major event.

[00:00:56] It's simply a day his wife and children have been looking forward to for so long. He hesitates. His friend hears it in his voice. He asks, what is it? And the husband explains. He says, my family already has plans.

[00:01:24] And then almost automatically he adds, but, but, I could probably make it work. Now think about this. His friend could've said, you can't miss this. You, he could, he could have reminded him how rare this opportunity was. He could've made him feel as though considering his family,

[00:01:53] He meant that he was not serious enough. He meant that he was not serious enough about his future. Instead, the friend becomes quiet for a moment. Not a bad quiet, but just that quiet.

[00:02:06] He's thinking. He's thinking. What does your family think? The husband admits that they haven't even talked about it yet. His friend says, then don't answer me now. Go home. Talk to your wife. Talk to your family. If this is right for your family, we'll find a way to make it work. That's it. One conversation. One question.

[00:02:36] The friend may never understand how much he, he protected in that moment. He did not ask the husband to, to become less ambitious. He didn't tell him to turn down the opportunity. He simply refused to help him to turn down the opportunity. He simply refused to help him make a family decision as though he were a man with no family attached.

[00:03:04] My friend, that is the kind of person you want close to your life. The one, the life that you're building. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with. Someone who believes in your potential without asking you to, to have your family pay a price.

[00:03:28] Get comfortable because we're about to have another valuable conversation that you don't want to miss. So grab something yummy and healthy to snack on. Grab the people you love. And if this is your time, welcome back friend. Let's go. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right babe?

[00:04:02] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:04:32] Hello my friend and welcome back to Becoming Unshakeable. The Legacy Conversations bonus series brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A community of strong families building lives of faith, courage, purpose, and lasting legacy. I'm your host, Ildiko Ferenczi.

[00:04:54] And in our recent conversations, we've been celebrating what happens when husbands and wives combine their gifts. When children are safely included in the family story. And when the family begins carrying a purpose greater than any one person. But no family builds in complete isolation.

[00:05:22] There are friends around us. There's relatives. There's mentors. There's business partners. People that we admire. People we call when we don't know what to do. And whether we realize it or not, these people help shape the life that we're building.

[00:05:44] Today is not about labeling everyone around us as either good or bad. It's not about becoming suspicious or cutting people off. We're surrounding ourselves only with people who agree with everything we say. This is a gentler, more honest conversation.

[00:06:12] Because it's about noticing influence. Because some people leave you more, let's say, more grateful for your family. And others leave you more dissatisfied with it. Have you ever noticed that? That sometimes you are around people and you come home and you're just so grateful.

[00:06:41] You're so grateful for the family that God blessed you with. And then there's other times you could potentially surround yourself with people that they influence you to look at your family in a different color of lens. So you got to realize who you surround yourself with.

[00:07:12] Perhaps there's those people that leave you, as we were saying, more dissatisfied with your family rather than grateful. Some people remind you to repair what's hurting. They guide you into being stronger, to reinforcing the cracks, the fractures.

[00:07:39] And others make walking away sound easier than having a difficult conversation. Some people see your spouse as part of your strength, right? The person that's calling you up and pushing you into greatness. Because they see the child of God that you are.

[00:08:05] And others speak as though your marriage is an inconvenience standing between you and the life that you could have. And whatever that is, is it changing the world for better? Doing great? Or is it just making money? What? You got to step back and take a look at the conversation and the influence.

[00:08:33] Sometimes you don't notice what a relationship is producing in you until you pay attention to the person you become when you return home. That's the key. That's the thing to step back and look at. Who are you when you come home after you've been with these people?

[00:08:59] Have you ever spent time with someone and came home feeling different? Nothing obvious happened. There was no, I mean, perhaps there was, but let's look at it in this lens that there was no dramatic confrontation. But then suddenly your life looked less satisfying when you came home.

[00:09:26] Your spouse, your home, it seemed less impressive. It felt, it felt smaller. The responsibilities you once carried with gratitude, it begins to feel like, like evidence that you're somehow missing out. And that is why I want to ask you a simple question.

[00:09:55] Who do I become after spending time with this person or people? Do I come home more patient, more grounded, more thankful? Do I feel encouraged to build something meaningful with the people that I love? Or do I come home restless, critical, even secretive,

[00:10:21] ready to compare my marriage to someone else's opinion of what they think my life should be? Influence, it doesn't always arrive as some kind of direct advice. Sometimes it arrives as a joke repeated. It could be often enough that disrespect begins to sound normal.

[00:10:51] And sometimes it's a story that always makes freedom without responsibility look exciting. You know, that painting a picture of the good old days or whatever it may be. But there wasn't the responsibility of the Holy Covenant and the babies.

[00:11:18] But there's that igniting those thoughts of who you were long ago, long ago before the blessings. And sometimes it's a friend who listens only long enough, just long enough to confirm that you're right. Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[00:11:41] But they never ask what part of the conflict belongs to you. How they could add to you becoming the best person that you could be for repair in the relationship. And sometimes influence is beautiful. It's the friend who says,

[00:12:12] listen, I know you're upset, but talk to your spouse. Talk to your spouse. Have an honest conversation. Try to step back and look at the things and perhaps the things that you've said or done

[00:12:37] and find out how to resolve this. How to find even ground. Somewhere where you can just step forward. Step forward in a way that your marriage will be stronger. It could be the mentor that asks,

[00:13:02] how will this opportunity affect your children? It could be a business partner who says, go home. It's late. We can finish tomorrow. Or perhaps it's the relative who refuses to speak disrespectfully about your husband or your wife.

[00:13:33] Even when they're not in the room. Those people are not holding you back. They're helping you remember the kind of life you said that you wanted to build. The holy covenant that you were blessed with. The children that you were blessed with.

[00:13:54] A true friend does not need to become more important than your spouse. Or feel more important than the life that you're building with your children, your family. They don't resent healthy boundaries.

[00:14:19] They don't make you prove your loyalty by placing them ahead of your family. Your wife and your babies. And they don't interpret every shared decision as some kind of evidence that your spouse

[00:14:48] is trying to direct you in a wrong way or try to influence you. That what you have going on, this relationship, this beautiful thing that you're building at home is somehow a burden. A healthy marriage changes the way that we make certain decisions. It changes.

[00:15:16] Changes from when we were single. Of course it does. Two lives have been joined. Now there's children to consider. A home, a covenant, a future being built together. Talking to your spouse is not asking permission. It's some kind of, yeah, some kind of permission to exist.

[00:15:46] You're discussing how things could affect the entire family. How it can affect your spouse. It's honoring the fact that your decisions now travel through more than just one life. Listen, I'm telling you, the people who respect your marriage will understand that.

[00:16:13] They're not going to say things such as, why do you have to ask? Why would you even have that conversation with him or her? They'll say, listen, talk about it together. Let me know what works for your family. Do you hear the difference?

[00:16:36] One responds by treating the marriage as some kind of restriction or some kind of awful thing. Oh my gosh, what? You got to discuss this with your family? The other treats it as a responsibility worthy of respect. It's great. Go talk about it with your family.

[00:17:05] You get to talk about it with your family. The right people will not continually ask you to choose between belonging to their circle and remaining faithful to the family God entrusted you to.

[00:17:33] Now, let me be clear about something. A person who protects your marriage is not going to tell you what you want to hear. They're not always going to agree with you. We've talked about this in previous episodes where my friends, they call me accountable. Right? My mother was so good at this.

[00:18:02] And especially in my marriage, she never took sides because in the end, you guys are going to make up. And then sometimes I wanted so desperately for her to go on my side and that would have been great. But then I'd look back and when I talk about it with my spouse, then I'd say, yeah, but my mom said this or my sister said this about you.

[00:18:33] You know what I mean? It always comes back. And then my spouse would be like, ew, really? Your mom said that? Your mom said that about me? Your sister said that about me or whoever. I'm just putting this out there. But it'll come back. It'll haunt. And she was just so clever when it came to that.

[00:18:53] And, you know, sometimes protecting a family, it means telling the truth, not just going on your side, saying what I want you to say in the moment because I'm heated. A wise friend, a wise friend may say, you spoke to your husband harshly.

[00:19:22] You spoke to your spouse harshly. You need to go home and repair that. I don't want to go home. No, I don't. I want to go out. Let's just go to the club or let's go. I'm gone. I'm out. No, no, I know the story. I know how you are. I know the way you tend to bend.

[00:19:49] You need to go home and you need to repair because this is your marriage. The kids are watching. The children are watching. The babies are watching. It's not worth it. You want to repair that. They may say, they may say you're, you're caring too much. And, and you need to express that.

[00:20:22] And if you express it this way, your family will be able to help you. They may notice selfishness in you. Your friends, your real, I'm talking about your real friends. I'm not talking about the friends or family that, you know, they, they want to just agree with you.

[00:20:51] So they may notice selfishness in you. They may notice pride. They may notice avoidance or a pattern that, that is causing real harm to yourself or to your, to your spouse, to your children. And if there's some kind of abuse or addiction or danger, why support?

[00:21:18] It doesn't, it doesn't pressure someone to, to stay silent in the name of protecting an image. It helps them seek qualified support and safety. So, I mean, this is the thing, this is the thing that is so important about having a good circle around you.

[00:21:43] Even if it's, you know, even if it's going in an opposite direction, they can steer you back to the life that God has, has waiting for you. Protecting marriage, it doesn't mean protecting some kind of harmful behavior.

[00:22:08] It means caring enough about the people inside the marriage to tell the truth responsibly. It's not instigating anything, causing drama. It's being responsible. God sees what's said behind closed doors. He sees the conversations. He knows your heart.

[00:22:34] That's why we have such great responsibility when we advise people. There's a difference from taking one painful moment and using it to condemn the entire relationship. A wise friend does not pour gasoline onto a vulnerable conversation.

[00:22:58] They don't collect or make up evidence that supports anger, that pushes this person over the edge that's in a vulnerable state. They help slow their friend down. They help slow you down. They help you see clearly. They ask smart, intelligent questions.

[00:23:31] Have you told your spouse how much you love them and how much you want to change? Have you told them what you told me about how you want this to work and what you're willing to put into the marriage? What outcome are you hoping for? And how do you think you can get there?

[00:23:56] Is this decision that you want to make right now, running away or having this conversation or not having this conversation, moving you toward repair or farther away from it? That's not blind loyalty. That is mature friendship.

[00:24:20] The friend who always agrees with you, they'll protect your comfort. But that's it. The friend who lovingly tells you the truth, that's the one who protects your future, not burns it down. And friends, this isn't about whether the people around you are married or single.

[00:24:50] I mean, it's great. And I really encourage you to surround yourself with married families that are in the same kind of season as you. But it's not always the case. So perhaps a single Christian brother or sister may have tremendous respect for the holiness of your covenant.

[00:25:18] They may even be the person that says, go home and talk to your spouse. Don't make this decision without your husband. Or don't make this decision without your wife. I love you. And because I love you, I'm not going to let you damage your family. I'm going to help you repair it. I'm going to encourage you to repair it.

[00:25:48] That person may not share your season of life, but they understand what is sacred. And perhaps someone else may be married. They may even attend the same church as you.

[00:26:01] They may know exactly what scripture says and still offer counsel that repeatedly encourages secrecy or separation, disrespect or division. So marital status is not always the test of the friendship. The fruit is the test.

[00:26:31] What does their influence produce for my marriage? What am I like after? What is my marriage like? How are my kids when I get off the call or leave this person's presence or these people's presence? Do they encourage you to honor your spouse?

[00:26:58] Do they honor your spouse when they're not in the room? Do they respect a shared decision? A shared decision even when it's not the answer that they want? That's not going to benefit them. Do they protect your marriage from becoming entertainment in a group conversation?

[00:27:28] Behind your spouse's back? Behind your back? Do they encourage accountability and repair? Do they continually make your covenant sound like an inconvenience? Do they? Research gives us language for this.

[00:27:51] One study followed 355 couples across 16 years and examined both shared friendship support and the negative side of friendship ties, the negative side of friendship. Including disapproval and interference.

[00:28:12] The researchers found that the negative aspects of those relationships were more powerful predictors of divorce and separation than the positive aspects were. Protective. That's serious territory. The negative was stronger to push people apart.

[00:28:42] Dang, that's a big responsibility they're going to have. Right? When they talk to Jesus, I helped break that holy covenant. And listen, that doesn't mean that a friend single-handedly caused a marriage to end. That would mean that that person is pretty weak. Right?

[00:29:09] Because they don't single-handedly cause the marriage to end. Let's be real. But it does tell us that the social world surrounding a marriage, it deserves our attention. There is a difference between a friend who lovingly, lovingly, I want to say lovingly, but tells us the truth.

[00:29:38] And sometimes the truth hurts. You got to have those people that love you to tell you the truth. Right? There's a difference between someone who repeatedly interferes because they don't respect the covenant. They don't even like your spouse or your marriage.

[00:30:00] A wise Christian friend does not flatter us into believing that we're always right. We're not always right. They don't use one vulnerable moment to pull us further from home. They understand. This person did not only make a promise to my friend. Right?

[00:30:30] They should love both of you. My friend made a holy promise too. My friend made a holy promise too. And they refuse to treat that promise casually. That is the kind of Christian community marriages need. Brothers and sisters who honor the covenant. Tell the truth with what? Love.

[00:31:00] Pray for the family. Gosh, I have so many people DM me. Can you pray for my marriage? Maybe this sounds weird. I don't really have anyone that'll pray for my marriage. Can you? Yes. Absolutely. Reach out to me anytime. It would be an honor. Pray for the family. Pray for the holy covenant. Be that friend.

[00:31:28] And plant seeds that help husbands and wives continue finding their way back to one another. And today, our circle is not only made up of people we see in person. Correct?

[00:31:51] It includes the voices we repeatedly invite into our minds, into our eyes and ears and hearts. The group chat. The group chat. The podcast. The social media account. The person whose advice appears on our screen every morning. The algorithm that keeps showing us the same kind of messages because we paused on it once.

[00:32:18] And we repeatedly consume content that tells us marriage is an inconvenience. Or children are an obstacle. That commitment is foolish. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing getting married and having children? What are you doing?

[00:32:47] Don't you want that man-share penthouse and 50 cars and 58 girlfriends and I don't know. I don't know. Red pill. I don't know. Or that uncomfortable moment of proof. It's proof. You chose the wrong person.

[00:33:15] And those voices begin shaping the way that we interpret our life. All of a sudden we're looking at our life through a different color of lens. Not even biblically anymore. There's something else. There's something else. The enemy is speaking through the voices out there. The algorithm, it doesn't know your covenant.

[00:33:45] It doesn't know your children. It doesn't know the whole story. It just knows what you keep watching. So ask yourself. Ask yourself. Are these voices I consume helping me become wiser? Are they helping me communicate more effectively, more honestly? Do they teach me responsibility alongside boundaries?

[00:34:15] Do they make room for repentance, for change, for forgiveness, and for repair? Or do they keep me emotionally activated? Because anger holds my attention longer than wisdom, forgiveness. To repair. The desire to repair. To become connected. To become better.

[00:34:45] To become an example for our children. My friend, not every popular voice deserves influence inside your home. Inside your hearts. Inside your head. Inside your... Yeah. I mean, that's something so good to think about. Truly it is. Because we're surrounded by voices all the time.

[00:35:14] Right? By influence. Influence. We're constantly being influenced. And is it pushing us towards greatness? Or is it breaking us apart? Listen, friends. I want to share this with you. Proverbs chapter 13 verse 20 says, Walk with the wise and you become wise.

[00:35:40] But the companion of fools fares badly. Oh, there's so much truth to that. There's so much truth to that. Notice that scripture, it doesn't only tell us to listen to wisdom once. It says walk with the wise.

[00:36:05] Because the people we walk with, it shapes our pace, our direction, and eventually our decisions. And the things that we build. Then 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 verse 11 says,

[00:36:28] Therefore encourage one another and build one another up as indeed you do. Build one another up. What a beautiful standard for friendship. Before I give advice. Before I repeat something I heard. Before I encourage a friend to act from anger. I ask. Ask this.

[00:36:57] Am I helping build this person? Am I helping build wisdom? Am I helping build honesty? Am I helping protect what God entrusted to them? Sometimes encouragement sounds like, You can do this. You can do this. Right? You can do this. But sometimes it sounds like, Go home. Go home.

[00:37:27] Have the conversation. Talk to your spouse. I know it's going to be difficult. But you have to have the hard conversation. In order to get over this disagreement that you're having. Don't make a permanent decision from a temporary wound. I know you're hurt. I could tell you're hurt. I know you.

[00:37:53] I've known you for a couple years or however long it's been. I could tell you're upset. Your tendency is to do this or run away or get revenge or whatever it may be. Talk them out of it. I believe in you. But I also believe your family matters.

[00:38:20] It matters more than this decision, this anger. That is the kind of encouragement that can quietly change generations. Right? You can break chains of this gestational curses or whatever you want to call it. Right? They can help you break chains.

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[00:40:11] This conversation isn't only about auditing other people. It's also an invitation to look at ourselves. What kind of friend am I? What kind of friend am I to someone else's marriage? When a friend calls me angry, do I help them calm down enough to think clearly? Do I honor their spouse when that spouse is absent?

[00:40:43] Do I encourage secrecy? Do I make fun of their commitment? Do I act offended when they choose a family responsibility over something I wanted from them for my own benefit? Do I act offended? Am I a safe person for their whole family, for their holy covenant? Am I a safe person?

[00:41:11] Can their spouse trust that time with me will not only send them home a better version of themselves, but will build their marriage up? Or do I send them home colder?

[00:41:38] What kind of person am I to their spouse? Can they trust me? Can their children feel that I'm a good influence for their parent? Do they feel, I don't know, that they're a better parent when they leave from my presence or from a phone call with me?

[00:42:10] Do their children feel like their mom's better or their dad's better? Can I celebrate a friend's growth without encouraging a version of success that requires them to abandon everyone who helped carry the earlier years?

[00:42:34] You may never know how much good you do when you speak honorably into another family. A sentence that may feel smaller and insignificant to you may interrupt a harmful decision. You don't know what the effect your words have to do good or to do harm.

[00:43:05] A thoughtful question may remind someone to pause and think about what they're doing. Your refusal to participate in disrespect may change the tone of an entire conversation at home. You may never receive credit for the marriage you encouraged someone to protect, but you did. That was you.

[00:43:32] You know who sees that? God. You may never know that a husband went home and apologized because you refused to tell him that he'd done nothing wrong. You refused to tell him. You refused, or her, or her. You refused to tell her that she did nothing wrong.

[00:44:02] You had the courage to make them take accountability and go home and do what was right. You may never know that a wife found the courage to speak honestly because you reminded her that her voice mattered.

[00:44:27] God sees the seeds we plant as friends that surround a holy covenant. That is serious. That is serious. You don't want to meddle with what God put together. You don't. God sees the seeds we plant and helping another family grow stronger. That is sacred work, friend.

[00:44:55] So let's move into this. Think about the people and the voices closest to your life. Think about that for a moment. Who reminds you of your values when an opportunity becomes exciting? Right? Reminds you of the values. Who respects your spouse when your spouse isn't present?

[00:45:22] Who celebrates both people's gifts? Who welcomes your children and speaks highly of the two of you? That encourages you to have a better marriage when they're around you and your children see that?

[00:45:53] Who encourages truth and repair when life becomes difficult? Take a step back. Who does that? And who do you become after spending time with those people? You don't have to make a big announcement. Just take note. Just take note. And you don't need to condemn anyone. But you need to take note. And you need to understand. And you need to know.

[00:46:23] You need to know for yourself. Perhaps you simply become more intentional about access. You spend more time with the people who help your family become healthier, who nourish your family. You become more careful about where you bring those vulnerable conversations.

[00:46:45] And you stop asking people for marriage advice when they've repeatedly shown contempt for marriage. And you choose mentors who live in a way whose lives reflect the fruit that you hope to grow.

[00:47:10] And those kind of decisions, it's not an arrogant thing to do. You know what it is? It's discernment. That's what it is. The people who genuinely love you are not going to ask your family to step back while you walk on your own. They're going to want you to build together. Right? They want to see you become stronger. They want to see you build a legacy.

[00:47:41] They're not going to continually place themselves in competition with your spouse. I've seen that happen. I've seen that happen. It's so weird. It's so weird. I've seen some couples and it's kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy to see. My goodness. They're not going to applaud an opportunity while ignoring the people carrying its cost.

[00:48:10] Right? They want to see what's best for your family. They're going to help you think. They're going to tell you the truth. They're going to remind you that your choices are building a life. Your choices are building a legacy. It's not merely... It's not merely... It's not just this moment in time. Everything has a ripple effect.

[00:48:38] Everything has a consequence. Right? And sometimes, sometimes we have exciting moments happen. Sometimes we get excited. I mean, I'm always thinking about my family. But I know there's some people, there's things that... Opportunities that come and it's exciting. And for a second, they may forget what matters most.

[00:49:07] And then your friends. They'll help you remember. They'll help you remember. Your marriage. The family you're building. Suggest some other ideas. The strongest circle is not filled with people who always tell you yes. Yes.

[00:49:29] It's filled with people who help you remember what your yes must never cost. Okay, friends. Grab your journal and something to write with. Take these questions somewhere quiet. And let's think about this. Somewhere quiet. You are somewhere quiet. You're listening here.

[00:49:55] So, just think about this with me. Don't judge yourself. Just write down what comes to mind. Who has earned the right to speak into our marriage and important family decisions? Who? I know who. I know who I turn to. Okay, take a wild guess. I pray about it.

[00:50:24] I pray about it. My father. I go to my father. I go to my father in heaven. I know that I'm his beloved daughter. And he would never steer me wrong. That's who I go to. And he has beautiful things planned for me. I'm an heir. I'm an heir of my father. I know he's got great things planned for me.

[00:50:54] So, I just... That's who I speak to. That's who I ask to pour into my marriage. After spending time with people closest to us, do we feel... Listen to this. Okay?

[00:51:12] After spending time with the people closest to us, your friends, whoever that may be, do we feel more grateful for one another or more dissatisfied? Meaning one another as your holy covenant, your babies, what's under your roof?

[00:51:35] Are there voices we've given influence to simply because they're familiar, persuasive, or popular? Who encourages both of us to grow without turning our gifts into competition?

[00:51:59] I guess the better question is, who encourages both of us to grow together? Is there a boundary we need to establish around a vulnerable part of our marriage? You know what that is.

[00:52:27] And finally, are we the kind of friends who help other families become stronger? So, this isn't just asking who are the people around us that help build our marriage to be stronger and more faithful and all the positive things that we want to pour into our marriage to nourish and strengthen it.

[00:52:56] But what kind of friends are we? How do we speak about other people's marriages? And then let's come together in prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you for the people who encourage us. Tell us the truth. Pray for our families and remind us that you called us to become one.

[00:53:23] Give us wisdom about the voices we allow close to our marriage. Teach us to recognize influence that strengthens our covenant and influence that quietly pulls us away from what matters. Protect us from pride. Protect us from secrecy. Protect us from advice that feels exciting in the moment but leaves lasting damage behind.

[00:53:50] Surround our family with people who honor you. Respect our marriage. Love our marriage. Welcome our family. And celebrate the gifts you placed inside each of us. May those people around us celebrate. Celebrate those gifts that we all bring to the table. Give us courage to create wise boundaries.

[00:54:19] Help us to remain open to correction without surrendering our discernment. And Lord, teach us to become wise friends to others. Let our words calm what anger has stirred. Let our counsel lead people toward truth, love. Let our presence make families feel stronger, not divided.

[00:54:46] May we never use someone's vulnerable moment to pull them farther from home. To pull them farther from their holy covenant, their purpose that they have with their family. Make us people who build one another up. Who protect what is sacred. People whose friendship becomes a blessing to generations we may never even see. In Jesus' name, amen.

[00:55:17] Friends, go back to the husband from the beginning of our conversation. Remember the story that we were talking about in the intro? His friend didn't make a decision for him. He didn't tell him to reject the opportunity either. He didn't criticize his ambition. He simply asked, What does your family think?

[00:55:47] What does your wife think? Then gave him room to go home and have the conversation that mattered the most. The friend may never know what that question protected. Perhaps the husband and the wife found a way to make the opportunity work.

[00:56:14] Perhaps they decided the timing wasn't right. The point is not which answer they chose. The point is that they chose it as a family together. They didn't leave anyone out. He encouraged that. He encouraged that.

[00:56:42] To not leave anyone out. Success did not enter their home as a decision one person had already made. And everyone was just expected to absorb. Friend, you got to do this. You should do this. No, he was a wise friend. He was a wise friend.

[00:57:08] One wise friend remembered the family attached to the opportunity. Be that friend. And when you find that friend, value them. You're not looking for someone who will always agree with you. You're looking for people who can see your potential without losing sight of your covenant.

[00:57:39] People who encourage your growth without asking you to grow away from people that you love, that you were called to lead. People who help you become successful without becoming separated from everything success was meant to bless. To bless, friends.

[00:58:04] If this conversation reminded you of someone who has protected your family with wise counsel, share it with them. Share it with a friend that comes to mind. Tell them thank you for being a friend to our marriage.

[00:58:29] And if you know a couple building something meaningful together, encourage both of them. Encourage both of them. Honor the family around the work. Become a part of the circle that helps good things grow. That's a beautiful visual, I think.

[00:58:51] Friends, if Entrepreneur Parents Podcasts, conversations of Becoming Unshakeable has become a part of your week, follow the show so you never miss an episode and leave us a five-star rating and a kind review. It helps more families find these conversations. And reach out to me. Introduce yourselves. Tell me what you're growing. Tell me what you want me to...

[00:59:19] If you want me to pray over your marriage, over you, I'd be so happy to do that. Pray for my family too. Pray for me too. And friends, you'll find all my links underneath. You can connect with me on Instagram. Leave me a message. I love it so much. I love to meet you guys. It's such a blessing. I'm so grateful for you guys. I really, really am.

[00:59:46] And if you have children in your lives, come listen to Destiny and Daniel on the Entrepreneur Kids Legacy Show, Screen Free Learning Podcast for young, courageous leaders. And listen, they've created this app. And you could be one of the first ones for the initial launch.

[01:00:15] So there's a link down below where you could sign up. It's everything that you can imagine. There's movement. There's exercise. There's stories. There's books. There's courses. There's just everything. And it's just a safe place where, as a parent, you could just exhale.

[01:00:38] And even as kids, you don't have to look back over your shoulder wondering if some weird message is going to come through or if you're going to see something that might give you nightmares. Or, you know, it's just a safe platform for you to learn on, to plant seeds of greatness. And that's coming up. And Daniel and Destiny are so excited. And I wish I had this. I wish I had this. And now we're going to have this.

[01:01:06] You know, they listened to their own podcast. And now there's going to be just this place that's just filled with valuable content, really. Seeds of greatness. So I encourage you, if that's something that you would love for your family, and I encourage that you do have a safe place for them to go to. Especially, I mean, in the modern world,

[01:01:33] I protected the children for so long without screens. I did. But you can't shelter them always. Sometimes we go to a Christmas event, and they're going to ask, well, why are they on their show? They were playing this and that. It's hard. So perhaps we're not going to be playing those games that are dangerous that they're playing.

[01:01:58] But there's another alternative where you could do greatness, where you're not just mindlessly watching. We call it trash, trash, trash, trash TV. What does my husband call it? Trash TV and trash video games. He won't say it to people. He doesn't want to be, you know, offending. But there's not much out there.

[01:02:23] So anyway, this is a safe place that's great for children. It's something that children need. So you can sign up for that. And if you would love to leave a gift to help produce these shows that they're creating, you can do that at buymeacoffee.com backslash entrepreneur kids legacy. And those of you that have asked if you could buy me a coffee. Yes. Yes. I love it.

[01:02:53] I can buy a matcha, a matcha for myself. Send you a selfie with my matcha in my hand or my new nails that I, the other day, I didn't get, I didn't get paint on them, but I did get, I did get my nails done. And it gave me, I got to buy the stuff for them. I did it at home. I did my nails at home. I don't, those of you that know me,

[01:03:23] I don't really put chemicals on my nails and my face and on my body. I'm very selective, but I gave someone a selfie. I said, I bought some new nail stuff. And look how pretty and natural my nails are. I sent them a selfie. So thank you, Anna. That was so sweet of you. You sent me, sent me a cute little gift and I appreciate that. And the kids do too. So lucky, so lucky.

[01:03:51] Listen, every follow, every share, every review, it helps us continue planting seeds that, that strengthen families for generations. So thank you so much for building with us. Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for helping us produce. And listen, may God surround your family with wisdom. May your, may the people closest to you,

[01:04:19] may they honor your covenant. May they, may they help you have a strong marriage that your children can witness. What, what, what you're like, what you're like, what your marriage is like after, do you surround yourself with, with, uh, with those people that are close to you and, uh, strengthen the purpose. May they strengthen the purpose that, that you carry together.

[01:04:49] And may the children see that too. And, and may you recognize the voices that, that lead you toward gratitude, toward, toward truth and humanity and repair. And may you have the courage to place loving boundaries around what God entrusted to you. You need to have the courage to do that. And may you become the kind of friend who sends people home more grateful for their families,

[01:05:18] more willing to listen, more ready to repair. Listen, that's hard for some people. It's hard. But if you can plant those seeds of greatness and have those conversations where, where, where someone can hype themselves up to repair their marriage, gosh, what kind of friend are you? I'm amazing. If you're helping, um, helping your friends be more committed

[01:05:47] to building one life together, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. Build with people who don't, who don't merely believe in your potential, but they respect your covenant. They honor your family. They honor your spouse and help you become successful without, without becoming separated from everything. Success was meant to bless.

[01:06:17] And God bless you. Glory to God. Always. We love you. Keep building strong families, strong futures, and unsh, and unshakable. I want to say it so clear. Build an unshakable legacy. This is becoming unshakable, brought to you by the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. And I'm your friend, Ildiko, and I look forward to talking to you soon.

[01:06:44] Beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. They're with someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future leaders ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Listen together as a family. It's called the Arsenal Legacy.

[01:07:24] God bless you. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only,

[01:07:53] and it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business. Thank you so much for this. Thank you. You are the one of the best