The Power of Words: What You Say Shapes Who You Become

[00:00:00] When I read the book, it was very familiar. I'm like, this is what my mom did my whole life in the store to people and they fell in love with her. They were so loyal to her. Oh, that's better, right babe?

[00:00:28] She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between.

[00:00:57] What we say to ourselves in the quiet moments shapes our destiny. Quote by Tony Robbins. Kind words can be so uneasy to speak, but their echoes are true. The endless. Quote by Mother Teresa. Welcome to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell and I'm here with my co-host and beautiful wife, Ildiko Ferenzi. You did.

[00:01:27] I was waiting for you to go. I took my breath even. Ildiko Ferenzi. Ildiko Ferenzi. There you go. Here I am. You know, we have another great podcast for you guys and it's about the words that we speak over ourselves and other people. The power of words. The power of words. It's about the power of words. The power of words. I was trying to think of the right words to say, but it's truly about the power.

[00:01:56] Do I need to get Daniel in here? Do I need to get him? Actually, he would be really good to speak about this. This is his specialty for sure. This is where he shines. Mm-hmm. He has a sidebar. He has a speech called The Power of Words and it's so powerful. Mm-hmm. That's so good. You know, words, they hold this extraordinary power and they can inspire, they can destroy, they can build you up or tear you down. Mm-hmm.

[00:02:24] And in this episode, we're going to explore how those words can make people better or how they can affect other people. But before we jump into that, hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of the Pretty and Punk podcast. And if you are, and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button, it just takes a second. It means so much to us because it really helps the podcast get out there to more listeners like you guys. And if you know anybody, it might help and you can send it to them.

[00:02:53] We really appreciate that too. We also love and appreciate your reviews. Even the babies look forward to them every day. If you share this episode on social media today, don't forget to tag us. We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent in business and the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero. That's worth a shout out. Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well. And we just want to put it out there.

[00:03:21] We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible and you are our family. And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family. So don't forget all the links are below in the show notes. And thank you again. And let's get back to the show. The average person has 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day.

[00:03:48] And studies show over 80% are negative if left unchecked. So we have to be so careful with the things that we say. Not just the things we say, but the things that we think about as well. And don't, here's my advice to you. Don't say the negative things out loud. This is my little tactic that I've been doing for years.

[00:04:14] I've been using this ever since I was a child. Um, I forbid myself to speak these things out loud. Anything that's negative. Because first it comes to your thought, right? And the enemy can't hear your thoughts. So it's, it's kind of between you and God at that point. But once you say it out loud, now everybody knows. Everybody knows your deepest, darkest fears.

[00:04:43] And it's exposed, it's exposed. And it's going to come into fruition. So just be very careful with that. Stop it before it comes past your lips. Um, uh, I don't know. I, I wanna, I wanna share something that's, that's personal to our family. But I think that maybe someone out there needs to hear it. So here we go.

[00:05:14] Um, they told us to pray for the impossible. So I did. Years ago, my husband and I went to a Tony Robbins event. And we were challenged as an audience to, to ask God for something that we thought could never happen. You know, he's talking about don't dream it. Declare it. Ask for something so big it terrifies you. In his Tony Robbins voice.

[00:05:42] And then speak it into your life. So, I mean, for years, this was a pain point for me. I, I, I, I, I tried for a child. I couldn't have a child. So I prayed for a child. And, um, um, doctors told me that this was something that, that just may never happen for me.

[00:06:09] But we just kept being hopeful and praying over it. And just, just imagine, like really visualizing what a blessing this would be. And two years later, I found out that I was pregnant. And, um, from that very moment that I knew that I was pregnant, I began to speak the most powerful words over my baby every single day. Scriptures, declarations, uh, identity.

[00:06:39] I spoke life, not fear. And I did have those thoughts, um, not doubt, but life. And midway through my pregnancy, I almost lost him. Um, it was, it was a terrifying day. And I, I just, I just remember the silence in the hospital room waiting to hear that heartbeat.

[00:07:02] And I prayed like I never prayed before because just after years of not having this, and then all of a sudden you're so, you know, you're just hearing, we can't find a heartbeat. I'm sorry. These, these words, I just kept praying. I asked for a different doctor, different equipment. And, um, and I just, I just prayed and prayed until we heard it.

[00:07:29] That tiny, powerful rhythm of life. Just tears just streamed down my face, down the doctor's face. And horribly, I couldn't be there for that. Yeah. Yeah. Which was horrible. I really didn't think it was going to be that serious. I mean, I read about it. And, um, you know, when you start to, I know there's children reading or listening.

[00:07:57] Maybe you may want to pause it and listen to it later, but, um, I started to bleed and I didn't think it was that serious. But when I went to the hospital and they met me up front, I suddenly so quickly after explaining what was going on and how much they, I had a first class ticket right into my own room very quickly. And I realized it was quite serious. But after that experience, I just, I just kept doing what I was doing.

[00:08:26] God was on our side and my son was born into a world where words had already carved his future. And he grew, he grew hearing who God said he was. And, and when he used to play Tony Robbins on your everything, everything, everything. He had these speakers that we, these little tiny speakers. I don't know where you got it from, but it was like a, it was specifically to put on your

[00:08:54] belly and then you plug it into your, what did we have a Walkman or something? I don't know. What did we plug it into? I plugged it into my phone. So when I would listen to podcasts, he would listen to the podcasts with me. And when I would listen to just inspirational stuff, speakers, he'd be listening. And then we would speak to him, his microphone is he could already hear me, but I would encourage

[00:09:21] my husband to speak to the baby, speak to the baby, pray life into him, pray powerful things into him. And I'm sure there's other people out there who've done this, you know, who've done some version of this. It's, it's, it's, but we just, we knew early on and we heard early on and because, because we both had in our lives. Um, I, I can remember when I started my business sticking quotes up on my mirror in my bathroom

[00:09:49] and you had, your mom used to read quotes to you all the time. And so having that, we just knew how powerful quotes or how powerful the, the words that we say, how powerful they can be and how they affect us personally, especially the words we say to ourselves. Yeah. And, and we just, when we were having Daniel, we just wanted, we knew that he could be,

[00:10:17] that he was already special before he even came into this world. And we knew that if we could do this, if this worked, if we could speak these words over to, over him and in her belly, that he was, he was just going to, that somehow that it would affect the way he thinks and that. Like marinating a good steak or something. It just wouldn't come. And you can't, you can't fight the fact that, or we can't, um, we can't deny the fact that

[00:10:47] this kid is speaking on stages in front of thousands and thousands of people and speaking about the power of words. You know, it's like that had to have some effect. It's so crazy because exactly. And when he could speak, he started saying these things back to us and then to himself in the mirror, to me, to his grandmother, while she was fighting the C word and healing, it really lifted people to strangers, to people in restaurants.

[00:11:16] And then would you believe it? He was praying for a baby sister before. I don't, I cannot explain it. I can't put it into words, but he was praying for this baby sister kissing my belly. And then 30 days later, after his birthday wish to have a baby sister, I was pregnant. Come on. After years of not getting pregnant, how crazy.

[00:11:39] And then when I was sick, my little boy laid hands on me and he prayed and he prayed the most positive words over me, the most powerful prayers over me. He spoke life when we spoke life into him and I healed. But this story, it didn't start with me. Okay. My mother, she was a stunning, fiery European woman and she was short, but don't let her height

[00:12:08] fool you because her presence filled every room that she walked in. And she had these piercing ocean blue eyes and long, dark hair. And she was all grace and steel. And when she was pregnant with me, it was a surprise pregnancy. She really didn't plan it. It just happened. And the doctors told her that she would die if she carried, if she carried to term.

[00:12:37] And she stood toe to toe with that doctor and said, if I go, then this baby goes with me, but I will not end the life of this precious child that I already love. She's warm and she's safe inside me and she knows nothing else. And I feel her and I will not betray that. And I know God has better plans for her. And she prayed and she declared. And here we are.

[00:13:05] I'm so glad that she had the courage, you know, to stick up to the doctors. Because I mean, if someone tells you your destiny is to not survive and you have to get rid of this beautiful baby that you're already in love with. I mean, I don't know. Some people may do that, but she just declared that it wasn't going to happen. Those were not God's plan. Because she might not even 100% known what was going to happen.

[00:13:34] But when you say those words and you start getting those words out, you know, you don't always know what the future holds. You don't always sometimes believe the words that you say yourself. You sometimes say them in the hopes that you're going to believe them as you say them. That's right. Because I asked her about it and she said, I don't know what came over me. And she goes, I'll tell you what else. I told him I was having a little girl and he looked at her like she was nuts.

[00:14:01] But you know, you can't, you can't fight her on it. You can't force her to do that. And, uh, and she went back into the office when it was time to test and he ran in there and he's like, how did you know you're having a little girl? So anyway, here we are today. And when I tell you that words have power, I'm not preaching from the sidelines. We've had experiences. So this is a really important podcast.

[00:14:30] And here's what you need to understand that your words don't just describe your words. They create it. And what, what kind of words when you were like, what, what were you doing when you were starting your businesses? Like, I mean, you know, it's hard when you first get going, we don't have any proof that any of this stuff's going to work. We don't have any proof that we know what we're doing. And most of the time we don't know what we're doing.

[00:14:57] So, you know, what were you doing to kind of stay in that positive space and, you know, with you and your partner? Like, how are you, how are you talking through that? The interesting part for me is because I have a lot of experience with starting different businesses. Thank goodness my mom had me by her side with every business that she started. And I remember the process.

[00:15:23] I remember just this gut feeling about, I think this is going to be really good. And we'd come up with all these ideas. And I remember when my partner and I, something, we were watching something, a documentary, and it was talking about how all the concrete masons were dying out. And we just looked at each other and we didn't even have to say it. We already knew that we were going to step into this world that we really knew nothing about.

[00:15:51] I knew about flipping homes and, and I also knew about the concrete being ugly in some of these homes. And we'd have to do other things to sidetrack, like just make the outside of the home look beautiful. The garden and just those surrounding things to try to hide the ugliness of the, the concrete. Yeah. But I just felt like, hey, this is the thing. This is the thing that nobody wants to do because you want to find a business that's going to obviously

[00:16:21] solve problems. That's number one. And then another one, are you solving a problem? But like, nobody wants to do it. Nobody really wants to be the garbage, you know, the, nobody wants to do, they want to do easy and they want to be an influencer. And back in that, that time, that was kind of just starting or a movie star, something glamorous, making lots of money. But I was like, this is the thing. Nobody's going to want to do this. Working with mud, basically.

[00:16:51] And I know that there was times that were tough, especially because I had good credit, but we were bootstrapping. And in the beginning, we were just doing the residential. We weren't into the civil and the commercial and the executive homes, doing the homes for the movie stars and, and, um, athletes yet. So, and I say yet, because never say it's never going to happen.

[00:17:16] But, um, but I would do, I would, I was reading about other people that have failed, um, quotes. Remember how I told you, I would write quotes. I would stick them on my bathroom wall around the house. And we would just really talk to other people that have failed. It just, I didn't doubt that we weren't going to make it. Like, it's a weird thing.

[00:17:43] I can't explain it because there was so much evidence that we were wanted, but it was just scary. The bootstrapping was scary. The not having money, not getting paid on time. That was the scary stuff. So we just had to lean into the stories of, of even people going bankrupt. And that never happened to us. Thank God. But it just, that whole, we're out of money. We haven't been paid yet.

[00:18:10] We have to start a new job and we have to pay for everything up front. We have to pay for the concrete. We have to pay for the color. If they're coloring the, and this was the, you know, um, stamp concrete. This is back in the day when stamp concrete was cool and all that stuff. And then they'd choose the colors and that all cost money up front. And we had to get paid first. And that was the nervous part.

[00:18:36] So I would just say the quotes and just, I believe that this is going to be something greater and just finding out what we could do to get to the next level. And then the next level, and then it became these $500,000 jobs, $300,000 jobs. That was when we were in commercial and doing university and stuff like that. Hospitals, airports. Those are the jobs that we got. It was incredible.

[00:19:05] I think from little residential driveways. I think early on, um, when I would, me and my partner, Charles would talk, um, when we first started the business, we, um, he introduced me to a book that had been introduced by a mutual black belt jujitsu guy that we knew, Batiste Mansuri. And he, he had this book, um, how to win friends and influence people. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:27] And, and we both read it and we, we started, we decided we were going to start, well, I don't know if it was consciously or unconsciously. We decided we were going to start using it on each other because you, you realize that when you use these words that how, how much words matter. Yeah. If you read this book, if you haven't read this book, you, it's an absolute must read. I feel like everybody has.

[00:19:52] I mean, we made everybody in our office read it and it just became a must read because it was so important because the way you speak to people, it encourages them or it tears them down. Yeah. And so we would make it a point that we wanted to bring out the best in people, including ourselves. And so I would, I, you know, he would catch me. He, he, we used to call it Dailing, Dailing somebody up. And, uh, we, we would get done talking to somebody like Dana Wyatt or, or somebody at

[00:20:21] the UFC or some, uh, other, um, you know, when we were some of these different meetings that we would have these big meetings that we'd have. And, uh, and we would just call it, we were Dailing people up, Dale Carnegie, Dailing people up and, and how, and we would discuss how, how much it would work for each other. Even when we use it, he, he would feel, I remember I had this conversation with him in Carl's Jr. One day and he was like, Oh, you got me. You got me. He goes, I said, what are you talking about? He goes yesterday. Remember when you said that?

[00:20:50] I forgot what I had said to him exactly. But, um, he goes, when you said that to me, he goes, man, I had like, I was, I felt like I was on top of the world the rest of the day. And, and I was, I was like, I was like making deals happen and making things happen. And it just, it just pushed me. And, and we had this like 30 minute discussion about how powerful doing those things are and how, and it just made me realize, and it always stuck with me that how important the

[00:21:18] words that we speak to both our spouses, our kids, our family members, people that we work with, how important they are, because it really can build, help build your empire, build whatever you're, you guys are trying to put together. Because if you think about it, I mean, how did people of the past, how did they, I mean, besides maybe threatening them with, you know, bodily harm.

[00:21:44] Um, but you know, how did they inspire their warriors to go to, you know, how did the Spartans inspire each other to, to go fight? How do, how do these people, you know, put armies together? It's, they have to inspire them and they inspire them through words. And it was, I mean, the Roman, the Roman army was so strong for so long because, you know,

[00:22:09] it wasn't built up one army that was continuous and always, you know, always a working army. They weren't always dressed ready to go. They had to go around to different factions that were based in Rome and ask them for their soldiers. We need your soldiers. And they had to lead with inspiration, with the words that they spoke to inspire those soldiers, to let them know that they're going to go defeat somebody and they're, you know, it's

[00:22:36] going to be big and they're going to not unlike, you know, the current administration, like the, like Donald Trump, you know, he inspired a nation to vote for him. And he's doing, you know, those things that he was asked to do because that, because the nation got behind him and words can be inspirational and they can, they can cause a movement. You see, I love that you guys read the book.

[00:23:03] I didn't read the book till much later after I've had a business. But what's interesting is that you didn't really see that language growing up, but you immersed yourself in that, that book because someone suggested that to you. Whereas when I grew up, my bro, and I don't know exactly how my mom learned this or my brother,

[00:23:32] they were, they, when I read the book, it was very familiar. I'm like, this is what my mom did my whole life in the store to people. And they fell in love with her. They were so loyal to her. And my brother too. When I, I went into, I, I happened to have the same math teacher as him and he was older than me.

[00:23:57] And when they said the last name, Ferenci, he goes, did you have a, do you have a brother named David? And, um, and, and he remembered my brother from years ago. And I had to tell him the sad news that he sadly passed away. Um, you know, in a, in a tragic accident years ago, he started crying, falling.

[00:24:24] He had to leave the classroom, but these people would fall in love with them. So sometimes you're very lucky and you get to have this positive talk and these positive people around you. And sometimes you have to fall into it. You have to realize, I don't like this atmosphere and this, these words around me. And then someone comes into your life and just changes it through studying a book and then you become it.

[00:24:54] And then your whole, um, community, your business has that same mindset. That's so cool. You, and you know what? It can actually work the other way around too. When I was a police officer, I remember I had this buddy of mine who was a police officer too. Mm-hmm. And, um, and he always had these things to say, like people walk up and he was always putting people down. Like, you know, you know, like what's up with your weird haircut?

[00:25:24] You know, you, you, you would leave with that. I wouldn't even, I can't even be around people. And I know, and I couldn't stand to be around the guy and I would make it a point to try to get, but you know, you couldn't always get away from guys like this because they were on calls with you. You know, they were on your shift. And so, I mean, of course I would never want to go hang out with the guy. Oh gosh. And. Your circle is so important. But in that moment, I was like. You knew what you wanted. I just, I, when he came up, it was like, oh man, he's coming. You know?

[00:25:54] Yes. And you're like, who is he going to start on? You know, who's the first person he's going to, he's going to put down. No. And he was so, and he always making fun of something. No, I can't. It was the worst. He must be really insecure. I can't. He must have been. I honestly, I cannot. I mean, looking back, I can figure that out. But at the time. I don't enjoy that. He seemed like the most confident person there. No. He was, he was the guy that was the first guy through the door. You know, he was the confident guy. But. But no. Why is he always putting everybody.

[00:26:24] But he's not really. He's. Now I know what real confidence is. He's like, I can't. And I can't. I'm. I never. You know, it's a different class when people gossip about people talk behind people's back. And then they're. Hi. It's like. Stop. You're so fake. I can't. I just can't. I mean, yeah. I mean, the sad thing is he doesn't. He didn't really talk behind anybody's back. He said it right to their face, which is not.

[00:26:52] I mean, not that great either. It's like they had to live with it. You know, I mean, you're thinking about it later. I can remember, you know, him saying something about something. I do like. You're thinking about it the rest of the day, though. Yeah. No, I do. Don't get me wrong. I'm European. OK, so we say it straight up how it is. And then we hug and kiss. And I mean, my mother was very straight, a straight shooter.

[00:27:21] She was a straight shooter. And everybody appreciated that. Sometimes it would be a little abrasive. But she said to me, would you rather hear it from me or would you rather have people say this behind your back? So it pushed me to be my best self. And I'm so grateful when people are honest to me. My friends are honest to me. And sometimes sometimes it hurts a little. But that's because they love me. But I understand that that is a whole different thing.

[00:27:50] That that thing is negative. That's a negative person. But I get that. But there's some line that you got to draw for yourself, you know, where you go, OK, I could walk up and say to this person, man, that's sure is a corny ass haircut you got. No. No. But, you know, that's telling the truth, maybe. And maybe it is. Maybe the haircut. What did you get that whacked haircut for? That's something you would say. But was it? Well, I mean, in his opinion. But was it? But that. But was it? Now I'm curious.

[00:28:20] See, here's what I'm saying. Maybe it was. But was it? Then you're in trouble. But then you're putting. But then I don't feel the need to make anybody feel bad for the rest of the day. Oh my gosh. So if I had a bad haircut, you would never tell me? No, I would tell someone. I'd be like, wow, you look beautiful today. Your hair. I would say it in a nice way. And I would definitely give them the digits to my stylist, even though he's very expensive. But no, I would not.

[00:28:50] I'm just saying there's some medium brown there, right? Or they're just dressing in a way that's not flattering. I can help people with that. Like, that's my specialty. Dressing or hairstyle, that kind of stuff. If you had broccoli in your teeth, I'd go, hey, babe, you got some broccoli in your teeth. Here's a napkin. Yeah, exactly. When he walks up, he goes, hey, dumb. What do you have? Hey, we have kids on this. You have to beep that out. That's negative. How do you have broccoli in your teeth? Say that.

[00:29:19] Like, you know, I mean, that's, there's a right way to do it, right? Oh, exactly. No, my mom would never say that. We want to say the words that uplift people. No, yeah. She would just say, you know, I don't think that that haircut's very flattering. Let's try to see what would be more attractive for your face and your body or whatever it is. She was just always very honest and all my friends are.

[00:29:46] And sometimes it stings a little when I'm not pushing hard enough. Yeah, she was, what'd she used to call me? She called me something in Hungarian. What would she call me? That's for another show. Yeah. I know it wasn't good, whatever it was. I can't remember what it was now. No, she loved you. But then sometimes she was just honest. She was honest with me. And she definitely didn't want to hear complaining. She would want you to take action and make things better. I'm talking about myself.

[00:30:16] If I would ever call or vent to her, she would really help me to be my best self. But I just wanted to bring up something that was really interesting that we were talking about earlier with Moses. And I thought that this was so interesting because when you think about it, when Moses asked God, who should I say sent me?

[00:30:43] And he got the message from God to say, to say I am. And I might be butchering this in a very bad way. But well, he did say I am who I am. But to say I am sent me to you. I am sent me to you. Now, what's really interesting is some of the things that when we would speak over Daniel,

[00:31:12] you and I never did this. We would never say I am blessed. I am. We would never say those things, really. We would just talk positively. But with Daniel being so young, we would say that I am. And I just kind of thought about this the other day. I'm like, wow, because we're really I didn't realize that I am was in the Bible until it was reminded.

[00:31:37] But I always would tell him, you say who God says you are. OK, it's even in the good book. Well, he does his quotes every morning. Yeah, every single morning. And he says he always says, I am positive. I'm the best. I can do anything through God. Right. But I just want. Yes, yes, yes. All those things. But I just wanted to remind you guys that when you guys automatically say I am,

[00:32:06] you may be saying that you are too tired. I am. And then you say that you're not enough or you say I am. And I don't want to say I am. I don't want to say I'm pushing it. You might say you're stuck or something. I mean, I don't want to say I am. And then the negative thing, because then I just took it on. Do you see what I'm trying to do here? I'm trying to not say it. But but God never said that. He said, I am redeemed.

[00:32:34] And these ones I will say I am. I am redeemed. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am victorious. I am chosen. It's all in the good books. So these are the types of things that we would say with Daniel. So he knew at a young age that someone may say something negative and destiny now to someone may say something negative about him. But he just says, that's a lie. That's the enemy lying. That's not who I am. I know exactly who I am. Exactly who he is.

[00:33:03] Yes. Let me remind you about death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs. I don't remember the scripture, but I mean, it's so it. Words shape your identity. Absolutely. Your children's future, your marriage, your legacy. So number one, guys, the words you speak over yourself. You got to be careful. You have to speak, speak back to the lie with truth.

[00:33:33] When that comes up for you, just speak back to the lie with truth. You know who's in who's who, you know who and whose you are. So when your mind says something about being overwhelmed, say, I have the peace that surpasses understanding. Philippians 4, 7. When your mind says something about failing, I don't want to say it. I don't want to take it on. You say, I am more than a conqueror, right?

[00:34:03] Romans 8, 37. And just remember these little things and do your own research. Pull up things that resonate with you. And you say those out loud. You say those with your family. And number two, I just want to point out, you have to be so careful with the words that you speak over your children. If you have the blessing of being pregnant right now, start right now.

[00:34:32] Start praying over that beautiful baby. Start the declarations. Do all the things that you would want someone to say over you. Because children hear your words as truth. Not an option. All through their life. Absolutely. I mean, even if they're already teenagers right now, you can start right now. I mean, I... Yeah, it's never too late. What you say becomes their inner voice. I didn't start doing it until my 20s. Yes, yes.

[00:34:59] Until I started realizing that I needed to watch the words that I was saying. Yeah, my mom was very passionate with that. If I ever said something negative or that I... If I said something about I can't... Like, I don't say those words anymore. Well, lots of times you feel like you can't. Sometimes you feel like you can't. You know, you're looking at it and you're like, oh, I'm scared to death to do this right now. Yeah. Maybe get up on stage or speak in front of people. Well, whatever it is. You're scared to do it. Yeah. But you have to say those things. You have to...

[00:35:27] It's almost like talking yourself into it. Oh, 100%. Talking yourself into it by saying that you know you can do it. If these people can do it, I can do it. Yeah. And if you talk yourself out of it, you really will talk yourself out of it. I remember she would get so passionate about it and even show them. Because in high school, people would say negative things about everyone. And I don't know what it was, but they would just say things.

[00:35:56] And I would tell my mom, she's like, you don't believe that to you. Show them. Prove it. She was just so fiery. What was it, Henry Ford that said, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. You're right. Yeah, exactly. That's truth. Yeah. I wanted to point out a Harvard study that followed children for 30 years and found that those who grew up with positive language at home had better academic success, stronger confidence,

[00:36:25] and healthier relationships. So this is an actual study. This isn't just like, oh, maybe it works. It's an actual study. And I know that you guys know someone out there that has had a miracle that have been told something negative. I can relate to that. Something very negative about their health that they may not make it, but they just keep praying and just believing.

[00:36:54] And they became that miracle. Well, that's probably a good one. Yeah. When the doctor came into her, into your room to tell you. Okay. But let's not say it. Yeah. But yeah. I mean, well, I think it's important to say. I know, but I don't want to say. He came up to say that you were. Okay. But can we not say. Yeah, but he said. Okay. But he just said the chances aren't good. And not to me. Well, okay. He said it to me, but he said, you won't make it past.

[00:37:22] And it was just, you know, a couple years. He literally said, if you say that again, I'm going to throw you out of the room. He's like, the facts are the facts. It was just, well, here we are. We've passed that. We've passed it with God's good grace. And I think it's important to protect your rooms too. I mean, protect your family from people that speak like that. Because people are going to come into your space and they're going to talk about how

[00:37:51] you're, oh, that's, you know, I know you, you know, your kid said that he was going to go, you know, he was going to, he was going to be the best speaker in the world. But, you know, he, he's, you know, there's a lot of speakers in the world. You know, you people, you people start talking negative in your house. You throw them out of the house. People start talking negative over your family or in front of you or over your wife or over your, you, you throw them out of the house. I mean, you don't want those type of people around you.

[00:38:20] Well, most of the time they wouldn't, but don't, there's circles that you can be in. There's people who you wouldn't think that were like that. But then when they're faced with the guilt that they weren't able to do certain things or they weren't able to do what you're trying to do, they find themselves coming out. We've never had anyone say anything negative like that or come into our house and say anything like that. Other than the doctor. Yeah.

[00:38:48] Other than the doctor and, and Daniel. Oh my gosh. Yeah. He's just, when. I know. We wouldn't let anybody say that in front of Daniel. We wouldn't even if he was, but he just has something. He's brought grown men to tears. And I just feel like that is a God given, you know, purpose, destiny. He believes it. And I thought, you know, just, I'm not going to, I'm not going to put out his fire. Let's just, let's see. Let's see.

[00:39:17] But when he gets up there, he's a, he's not a different person, but he has this power to bring grown men to tears, to remind he's that missing voice that stages need that bring men back to their, Hey, I was a child once. And I, I had these dreams that, that I no longer have.

[00:39:39] And Daniel like ignites that, that, that passion and, and that thing within them to be a great leader and a great father just by his little child voice. It brings them back into their childhood to remember in their memory. What did I actually want to be? What did I actually want? And why did I let that die out? And they're just so passionate.

[00:40:04] And they just, it's so crazy to see that transformation with just such a short talk. So anyway, anyway, I love that. He sees the greatness in everybody. And everybody who's listening right now, listen, I, if you need to, if nobody's spoken greatness over you today, listen, you can do anything. You can be great at whatever you put your mind to.

[00:40:29] And, and if you speak, if you honestly speak those types of words over yourself, you will become what you're thinking. I mean, it's worked for both of us. We both, I mean, we both came from humble beginnings and built great things. And anybody who's listening, if that's what you're trying to do right now, or if you've already done it, you know, great for you. If you're working on doing it, work on yourself, work on, work on yourself.

[00:40:56] But before we wrap up, Dan, you need, we need to remember that the words you speak over your marriage, that's really important. So you need to speak positive words over your marriage. Marriage, marriage, marriages rise and fall on language. And I wanted to remind you guys that the Gottman Institute find found that thriving couples maintain a five to one ratio.

[00:41:25] So you have to have positive words to everyone, five positive words to everyone. I'm trying to remember the facts. It's five positive words to every one negative word to have a successful marriage. And things that you can do is rather than speaking negative things when you're frustrated in the moment, turn it into something positive before bed each night.

[00:41:52] Just try to share one thing that you appreciated about each other during the day. And then remember, and this is, this is just the closing thought that words build legacy. You're either going to build strongholds or you're going to build strong homes with your words. So just remember that children don't just inherit your eyes or your lovely hair.

[00:42:18] They inherit the atmosphere of your voice. And even just speaking the way that you speak about money or, or whatever it is. For example, you know, we're, we're, we're, or, you know, some people say they're broke or they're running out of money. Just remember that abundance is coming. Good things are coming. Blessings are coming. Even though it's tough, it's right around the corner. I believe it. I know it's going to happen.

[00:42:48] We just need to shift a few things, change a few things with the business, think differently and the good things are coming. So try to do this 30 days challenge where you're going to speak life. It's a speak life challenge. So for 30 days, one life giving word over yourself each morning. And that's not hard. Okay. You're amazing. And you shouldn't end it at 30 days. This is something you can do for the rest of your life. We do it with our kids every morning.

[00:43:18] When you do 30 days, it becomes a habit. So I'm just challenging you to do the 30 because you're going to continue after this and then speak what we do much more than this, but this is just to get you started. Okay. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed. Now speak one word of blessing over your spouse every day and then continue on to speak one. I am truth over your children. Tell them who God says they are. Okay. There's clues in the Bible.

[00:43:47] And then catch and cancel any negative label and replace it with God's word, positive words, beautiful words. So those are my, uh, that's just, that's just four things to do every day for 30 days. Do we say do it over yourself too? Do we say that? Yes. Yes. Speak one life giving word over yourself every morning. That's great. Start with yourself. I would do five if I were you. At least. At least. I mean, because when you start to, here's what I find.

[00:44:14] When you start to have to think about a word a little bit. You're going to want to give more. It's such a blessing. It's beautiful. When you start to have to think about a word, it has a little more meaning. The ones that just roll off your tongue sometimes just roll off your tongue. But when you have to think about the word for a minute, then you really are looking for something in yourself and it comes out and you really see that in yourself. And I think it's important to have to think about them a little bit. Hey, why don't we just, if you're driving, don't close your eyes.

[00:44:43] But if you're able to close your eyes and if you have your little ones, say it with me. Just a few things. I'm going to come up with the top of my head. So just close your eyes. If you're driving, just think about it. So say these words with me right now. Okay, let's go. I am chosen. I am chosen. I am healed. I am healed. I am healthy and healed. I'm healthy and healed. I am the head, not the tail.

[00:45:12] It's from the Bible. I am the head, not the tail. I'm the good things, not the bad things. I'm the good things, not the bad things. I'm the head, not the tail. It's just a new one. And I thought that could be a good one for them. I am building legacy with my words. I'm building legacy with my words. My home is full of peace because I speak peace. That's a long one. My home is full of peace because I speak peace. My children will rise.

[00:45:42] My children will rise. I will see the fruit of the words I sow. I will see the fruit of the words I sow. Me and Daniels are so much more Sparta. Why are we like, I'm powerful. Yeah. I'm going to take on the world. Oh, what do you mean? And why do yours sound so much more homemaker? Dad, let's be honest.

[00:46:11] No, these aren't the ones I say with my kids. I just came up with some new ones for you guys. I could give you our very own. Let's go. Give me the last one. But these ones are some new ones that I did for you guys. I will see the fruit of the words that I sow. And I am the vessel for truth, encouragement, and life. Okay. And that's it for now. You can't remember that? No. Oh my gosh, my kids could. That's good for you. My kids are great. Maybe not my personal favorites.

[00:46:41] Don't you want to be a vessel of truth, honesty to the world? Like be a truth seeker? Yeah. And then encouragement? Of course. Bring people up? Of course. In life. Absolutely. Are you being the negative guy from your police days? I'm not. I'm like, I'm going to take on the world. I'm going to win today. Hold on. Daniel! Here we go. Daniel! Let's go. By the way, I'm the one that does it with Daniel every morning in Destiny. Daniel!

[00:47:11] I do when I get up before you do. Oh, come on. Why can't I get a hold of him? Maybe he fell asleep. Can you come here, honey? Welcome to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. He's hot. Well, okay. Well, let's end it on that note. We thank you guys for listening to this episode of the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. I haven't said Pretty and Punk Podcast again.

[00:47:39] The Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. It finally updated on Apple. So if you look for us on Apple, look for it on that. And we thank you guys for joining us. You have any last words? Okay. No, I just can't believe he came in here because he's so excited because he has his own. Maybe we'll share it another time. But there's these specific ones that we do every day ever since he was in my belly and I just wanted him to do it. But I don't know why he can't hear me.

[00:48:08] Usually they're right here. This is a soundproof room. They're usually right here like, mommy, mommy, mommy. But dang it. You want me to tell the truth? I think they're downstairs. Oh, maybe. Okay. Well, anyway. And you can come up with these with your own family. Ones that resonate. Ones that excite you guys. But I just wanted him to do it. But we'll do it another time. I can do anything. Yeah. I can do anything. I am God's child.

[00:48:33] You know, we come up with our own because what we'll do is we used to do 30 each. And then now sometimes when we don't have time, then we'll do 15 each. So I'll do the ones I love. They repeat it. Then Daniel will do ones that he loves. Then we repeat it. And then Destiny will do hers. And then we repeat it. And then if daddy's with us, then he'll do his. So that's a lot. And it may be a little bit overwhelming for you guys.

[00:49:02] That's why I kind of just made something that may be appealing to everyone. But that's what we do. And we love it. And that's on top of our prayer and our gratitude. Because we do all kinds of things during the day. Because you have to set the tone. To have a great life, you need to do great things. And you also need to challenge yourself and push yourself. So anyway, we love you guys. And we're so grateful for you guys tuning in today.

[00:49:30] Please send this to someone that you love. Someone that may pop into your head. Because they may be the very person that needs to listen to this episode. We can't wait to see you next week. God bless. Have a great week. I can do anything. See you guys next week. Love you. Thank you for listening to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast. We hope you got a great message from this episode today.

[00:50:00] Make sure to like, subscribe, and leave a review. We look forward to it every single day. We love you guys. God bless. You're the best. And don't forget to share this with someone who needs it. Hi, friends. Thank you so much for listening this week to the Entrepreneur Parents Pretty and Punk Podcast.

[00:50:25] It's always a pleasure and a blessing to have you join us. Please share this episode with someone you love or someone you know that truly needs this in their life. God bless you guys. And remember, the power of words create your destiny. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you.