The Enemy’s Strategy: Using the People Close to You to Destroy Your Marriage! Protecting Your Marriage from Toxic Influences

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_04]: And I want to leave a legacy, like nothing is more important than that. But for me right now, I'm on this trip where I just...

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_04]: I love Jesus. God has this plan for me and I know that the plan is to pour everything I can into my husband and my kids

[00:00:19] [SPEAKER_04]: and nothing makes me happier and if someone wants to take me away from my family, those people aren't really for me.

[00:00:35] [SPEAKER_04]: Ooh, that's better right babe.

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah!

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_01]: She founded an architectural concrete company.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_04]: He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company.

[00:00:49] [SPEAKER_01]: She ticked the World by Storm as a social media star.

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_04]: He took the World by Storm as a famous serial entrepreneur.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Together we started the business and had babies.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_01]: And now we're figuring out the best ways to do both.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggle.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_01]: As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids and everything in between.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_03]: For there was love, there was life, in the heart, in the background.

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_02]: Has been love, your life, season 5, 20, 5.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the Pretty Impunk podcast. I'm your host Dan.

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Call-o and I'm here with my wife.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_04]: Eudical Fadensy.

[00:01:35] [SPEAKER_01]: My beautiful wife, I'll be the cop for Enzy.

[00:01:37] [SPEAKER_01]: And we have an interesting podcast for you today.

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Scary, terrifying.

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we ran across this article that suggested that divorce could be contagious.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_04]: That's scary.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_01]: It is scary.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, because the rates are already so high as it's.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_01]: But contagious like how? Like you catch it like a virus?

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, there was a study of over five.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, hold on, hold on before we jump into that.

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Hey guys, we hope you're enjoying today's episode of The Pretty Impunk podcast.

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you are and you haven't already hit that like and subscribe button,

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[00:02:36] [SPEAKER_04]: We want to celebrate you because we know it's not easy being a parent and business.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_04]: And the way that you juggle things makes you a superhero.

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_04]: That's worth a shout out.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Together, we have a community of our personal followers as well.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_04]: And we just want to put it out there.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_04]: We want to show everybody that this juggle is possible and you are our family.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And we're so proud and grateful to have you a part of this family.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_04]: So don't forget, the sh...

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_04]: All the links are below in the show note.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_04]: And thank you again and let's get back to the show.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_01]: Is divorce contagious?

[00:03:15] [SPEAKER_04]: As I was saying, a study of over 5,000 participants found that people are 75% more likely.

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_04]: 75% more likely to be divorced if a close friend or family member was also divorced.

[00:03:36] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm laughing because I'm uncomfortable.

[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's...

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Wait, wait, wait, it gets even more tragic.

[00:03:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, 147% I mean, what is that even?

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_01]: How do you even have 147%?

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh no, 147% more likely to be divorced if they have multiple divorced friends in their social circle.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_04]: How do you...

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Wait, and then there's a little more sadness.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_04]: A little more sadness.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_01]: You already have a 50-50 chance?

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_04]: Right, unless you're in Laguna, then it's 67%.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_04]: 67%, where our dream home was, oh my gosh, that's so crazy.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_04]: Wait, and then there's a little more sadness of 33% more likely to end their marriage.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_04]: If a friend of a friend is divorced.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_04]: A friend of a friend?

[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_01]: So you've been separated from sex...

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Not even not even your best friend, just a friend of a friend.

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, that's...

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Those are ridiculous stats.

[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Why is that even...

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I get it.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I know why.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I know why.

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Why do you think?

[00:04:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Because if you have people like that in your life, no matter what...

[00:04:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, not that they're bad people.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01]: But you have somebody in that in your life that's close to you who just got a divorce.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: For that second, for that first little bit of being divorced, it probably feels like

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: kind of a relief.

[00:05:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Like they were going through this thing and maybe they were going through some hard times

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_01]: and it was sucked and even the divorce probably sucked, but imagine after they get past that

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: and they feel like, you know, oh my ex is watching the kid and I can go out now and I can...

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I got all this free time and I got nobody yelling at me when I come home late.

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_01]: That's attractive for a second for somebody.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: But the thing is it's fleeting.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_01]: It's something that happens for a minute.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_04]: Right, I have seen it.

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_04]: And then they realize the mistake line on social media

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_04]: where mom gets to get all dressed up and she has her few days alone and she gets to go drinking,

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_04]: go to the bar and get dressed up.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_04]: That's not even my thing.

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_04]: I hate drinking.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't like to go to the bar.

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't like any of that stuff.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_04]: So that's not attractive to me.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_04]: But maybe to some people that are kind of dealing with that,

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_04]: maybe they're dealing with the identity of they just became a new mom.

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_04]: They're really missing their old life, their old friends.

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_04]: And this could be just a different, you know, I feel like you and I,

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_04]: we just have a different group of people, different circle of friends,

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_04]: very people that are driven to have great strong marriages that are...

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_04]: that are faithful to God, to the religion.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_04]: And they've just sliced the fat off of their lives.

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_04]: But I guess that's exactly what happened.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_01]: We cleared our life, clear all those type of people.

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_04]: 100%.

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_04]: But if there's people of influence out there saying, hey, it's actually really awesome

[00:06:48] [SPEAKER_04]: because you get four days off or three days or whatever it is.

[00:06:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Whatever it is.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, you know, they're the TikTok out there on the front.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, this is amazing.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_04]: So I get some time off from being a mom or a dad.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I get to work on my business.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_04]: I get to pick up chicks or whatever.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_01]: But you know what though?

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I bet you, for a minute, like I said, it's fleeting.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_01]: It happens for a minute, for a second, it's okay.

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And you're excited about it.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe a life change or whatever it might be.

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_01]: But then then the thought of,

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_01]: what have I done to my kids?

[00:07:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I could fail that.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I failed that.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: I failed that.

[00:07:25] [SPEAKER_04]: I couldn't see it.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_04]: The whole reason why we have this thing is so that we could spend more

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_04]: time with our family and our kids.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_04]: But we know, we know our goals.

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_04]: We've aligned our goals what we want in life and we've done the work.

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_04]: And we know what we want.

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_04]: We've changed our businesses to a way where we could see each other every day

[00:07:44] [SPEAKER_04]: and spend more time with each other.

[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_04]: You and I and the kids.

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but imagine imagine like this newlywed family who's, you know,

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_01]: started a new business.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe the husband's gone and he started a business and he comes home

[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_01]: and she's a new mom.

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_01]: She has a baby, a little baby.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_01]: She's going through some postpartum and they're, you know, I mean,

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_01]: that's a hard time.

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_01]: That's a hard time.

[00:08:08] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's the statistics are that the divorce happens when the kids are young like that.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_04]: And you're talking about 50, 50 chance.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the statistics say, got 50, 50 chance you're getting a divorce.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_01]: So you already start off with a 50, 50 chance.

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, it's a crap shoe right now.

[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And but if you have gotten your life,

[00:08:29] [SPEAKER_01]: if you keep God first place in your marriage,

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_01]: I believe the statistics are 1%, you have a 1% chance of getting a divorce.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_01]: But for those who and that's why I'm just telling you like,

[00:08:44] [SPEAKER_01]: if I can if I can give one piece of advice,

[00:08:47] [SPEAKER_01]: that's I can't tell you how to, you know, how to run your marriage.

[00:08:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I will tell you, I'll tell you how we run our marriage

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_01]: or how our marriage works and why we think we are onto something here.

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_01]: But I think that if I can tell you one thing,

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_04]: we both been in relationship.

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_04]: You gotta keep God first.

[00:09:06] [SPEAKER_04]: That we were, I think we were different people.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_04]: I was more stubborn.

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_04]: I wasn't realistic.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_04]: I think about marriage and a strong relationship.

[00:09:18] [SPEAKER_04]: I think I mean, I know I still stubborn.

[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_04]: Stop.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Stop.

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Just stubborn one.

[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, okay.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_04]: So I for me, okay, you want to go,

[00:09:31] [SPEAKER_04]: if you want to go down that path.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER_01]: You're more stubborn than I am.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel, I get annoyed and I get,

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_04]: I just want to feel like,

[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like I have a lot of load on my shoulders.

[00:09:44] [SPEAKER_04]: And I just want help and I want to feel like I matter.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_04]: For you on the other hand,

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_04]: you're just stubborn and you like to win.

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_04]: And I'll just give you that because I'm not a doctor.

[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_04]: You could win, you could win every time.

[00:09:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01]: But I do want to be interested in that.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I do like to win.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_04]: I can't have built it.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Sometimes.

[00:10:05] [SPEAKER_04]: But what I was saying, okay,

[00:10:06] [SPEAKER_04]: back in the past, I was spoiled.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_04]: I thought marriage was easy.

[00:10:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I thought you get married and this is it.

[00:10:14] [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't realize how much work went into it.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that in that relationship

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_04]: and the path, I think we just threw in the towel,

[00:10:23] [SPEAKER_04]: not knowing what actually went into marriage.

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_04]: I was young and I think you too with your situation.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_04]: I just, your engagement or whatever.

[00:10:35] [SPEAKER_04]: I think I don't think you realize

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_04]: how much, well, both of you, whatever.

[00:10:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe whoever is faulted was marriages and easy.

[00:10:45] [SPEAKER_04]: Let's just put that out.

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_04]: I think everybody listening can,

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_04]: it can, it can relate for sure.

[00:10:55] [SPEAKER_04]: It's not easy.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of work and love and care and sacrifice that goes into it.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_04]: But if you put God first and you put,

[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_04]: and you feel the mere, for a day and a night,

[00:11:12] [SPEAKER_04]: we experienced and we saw miracles first.

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_04]: And I think how do you not know?

[00:11:20] [SPEAKER_04]: When you have a child, how do you not know

[00:11:26] [SPEAKER_04]: how do you not know God?

[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Like how do you not see that God is responsible for that miracle?

[00:11:33] [SPEAKER_04]: I think when I, my baby took my first breath

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_04]: that I took my first breath as a mother.

[00:11:41] [SPEAKER_04]: I became a different person and that was a miracle.

[00:11:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I've never felt that kind of love and to know

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_04]: that we have to work so hard.

[00:11:57] [SPEAKER_04]: To never let that little baby down.

[00:12:00] [SPEAKER_04]: No, we got more babies than I'd like to have even more.

[00:12:04] [SPEAKER_00]: Go on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[00:12:08] [SPEAKER_04]: Hold on, hold on.

[00:12:09] [SPEAKER_04]: How could you not?

[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Those kids are what more bees.

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER_04]: What ever God has planned?

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Have you seen the next two kids in there?

[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_04]: The angels.

[00:12:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I didn't see these babies.

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_00]: They are great kids.

[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_04]: But what I'm saying is, I just,

[00:12:24] [SPEAKER_04]: if you understand,

[00:12:29] [SPEAKER_04]: I can't even put it into words, but

[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_04]: you have to, you have to work, you have to shave off the people

[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_04]: that you, you just see, when you're close to God,

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_04]: you just see things in a different light.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I have been drank for eight years.

[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_04]: I've dedicated my life to the kids in nursing

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_04]: and I don't miss, I don't miss a drink.

[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Hi, baby girl.

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_04]: You need water?

[00:12:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, give me a few seconds.

[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And you know what the truth is,

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_01]: if for us, the fat has just come off.

[00:13:06] [SPEAKER_01]: It's come away from our life.

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_01]: We keep God first place.

[00:13:09] [SPEAKER_04]: But we'll lay over each other.

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_04]: We pray over the marriage.

[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_04]: Our kids, our children pray over us.

[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, Dan and I were having a hard time

[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_04]: when you were building the business.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, you're in a different person.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_04]: You have a huge thing going on right now.

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Like, huge.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_04]: You're a part of something so big,

[00:13:31] [SPEAKER_04]: so big, like UFC and you're a,

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_04]: a wheta.

[00:13:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Just, it's just everything is going great right now.

[00:13:40] [SPEAKER_01]: But it's a, I mean, but you're all so,

[00:13:42] [SPEAKER_04]: being, where,

[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_04]: you weren't in a bad position

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_04]: where you had to go in and...

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Stop talking.

[00:13:50] [SPEAKER_04]: Why?

[00:13:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, she's wants to get it.

[00:13:53] Okay.

[00:13:54] [SPEAKER_01]: Okay.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, all this podcast has gone down.

[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, he'll meet with you.

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Can you?

[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_04]: I can't darling.

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_04]: I can hear you.

[00:14:03] [SPEAKER_02]: Yes, what, what, what?

[00:14:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to say that when you have people like that

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_01]: in your life and they haven't,

[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_01]: we see we've been lucky enough to shape that fat off

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and we don't have that situation.

[00:14:14] [SPEAKER_01]: But can you imagine this newlywed couple

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_01]: who's got a new baby and's got a new business?

[00:14:19] [SPEAKER_01]: And they have a, you know, one of them,

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_01]: maybe the girls got the wife's got the divorced friend

[00:14:26] [SPEAKER_01]: who's talking about how great it was

[00:14:29] [SPEAKER_01]: that she got to go out last night

[00:14:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and you ought to come out with us sometime.

[00:14:33] [SPEAKER_01]: You're still okay, just, you don't have to stay out all night.

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Just come out for a little bit.

[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_01]: And then those conversations, oh yeah,

[00:14:39] [SPEAKER_01]: my husband used to do that or, you know,

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_01]: this conversation is about our kids.

[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And you're going through a hard time.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_01]: So you're in this place, right?

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_01]: But you're going through a lot and you need to feel like you've been

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER_01]: with you.

[00:14:53] [SPEAKER_01]: We never, we never, we know, you never vent to your friends.

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_04]: Never vent to friends, family.

[00:14:58] [SPEAKER_04]: My mom was a different person because my mom was old school,

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_04]: European and I'd wander on my side,

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_04]: at caller and I'd venting because I was frustrated.

[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_04]: But she would call me out, she would call, hold me accountable.

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_04]: And those are the people that you want in your life.

[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_04]: She would say illegal and then she would say,

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_01]: well, it's about me.

[00:15:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Put, put yourself in his shoes.

[00:15:23] [SPEAKER_04]: He's probably stressed out.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_04]: And yeah, she would be,

[00:15:26] [SPEAKER_04]: about me?

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_04]: What?

[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Your mom loves me.

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, she was, she was on your side.

[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_04]: But she would not, not your side.

[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_04]: But she would, she was on my side.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_04]: No, but she loves me.

[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Not always.

[00:15:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I don't know what else I'll call you.

[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_04]: Because she actually called me.

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I heard her calling me names in Hungarian.

[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I know what she was saying.

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_04]: But she doesn't swear.

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_04]: But she was just very sure.

[00:15:51] [SPEAKER_04]: She's not familiar with that.

[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_01]: No, I've heard the words.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I know what words she was saying.

[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, she was totally scared.

[00:15:58] [SPEAKER_04]: They were a hard course where.

[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, just so.

[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_01]: But I knew what was going on.

[00:16:02] [SPEAKER_01]: But you know, I get that.

[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_01]: Your mom holds you accountable.

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And those are the type of friends you want in your life, too.

[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_01]: If you're in a situation where you're doing something

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_01]: you're not supposed to be doing or you know,

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_01]: heading down that path, you need somebody in your life that's

[00:16:17] [SPEAKER_01]: going to hold you accountable.

[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Somebody who's going to say, hey, look, you got to,

[00:16:23] [SPEAKER_01]: hey, what are you doing?

[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_01]: What are you doing?

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Your wife said home, she's waiting for you.

[00:16:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You got to cut, and you got to beat that person for your friends, too.

[00:16:33] [SPEAKER_01]: If they're getting out of line,

[00:16:35] [SPEAKER_01]: you need to hold them accountable.

[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I promise you, I promise you, they will appreciate it.

[00:16:43] [SPEAKER_01]: In the moment, most guys want to be good guys.

[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_01]: And if they get called on their stuff,

[00:16:50] [SPEAKER_01]: if somebody calls them out,

[00:16:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and you know, and your guys are good friends,

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and you call them out on their stuff,

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_01]: if they're getting a little sideways, like,

[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_01]: I'll check this girl out or whatever they're saying

[00:17:00] [SPEAKER_01]: or whatever they're doing.

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And you call them on their stuff, they're going to appreciate that.

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER_01]: They're going to respect you for that.

[00:17:05] [SPEAKER_04]: I think so, yeah.

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And you want those type of friends in your life, too.

[00:17:10] [SPEAKER_01]: If you say something or get a little sideways or whatever,

[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_01]: you just don't even want friends that are going to,

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and not that you should, and you should never do that.

[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_01]: But you don't, you want friends that are going to lift you up,

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_01]: that are not going to,

[00:17:25] [SPEAKER_01]: or even you can trip you on time.

[00:17:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You haven't called me in Wednesday last time we went out

[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_01]: and those type of friends?

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Or even the friends that try to isolate you like,

[00:17:35] [SPEAKER_04]: let's go hunting or let's go on a ghost trip.

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_04]: And maybe what I mean, that's not for me

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_04]: when my girlfriends were like,

[00:17:43] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm not 100% sure.

[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Can you come out?

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Can you come out?

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not 100% sure.

[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm just not, I'm not into that anymore.

[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't even want to.

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Dan, you're my best friend.

[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't want to go hang out and go to the bar

[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_04]: and do all the things that just don't interest me.

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_01]: You're my best friend in that.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want that either.

[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to just want to be with you.

[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_04]: And listen, I can't, I can't, I can't.

[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_01]: But I'm not against it.

[00:18:07] [SPEAKER_01]: No, somebody wants to do that.

[00:18:09] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to tell them that you,

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_01]: that's, that's, that's their bad house,

[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_04]: that's their good guys.

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_04]: And they call you up and say, hey, let's go on this thing.

[00:18:18] [SPEAKER_04]: We're going to better ourselves as men and this and that.

[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_04]: But if it's just to go drinking and partying and like,

[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_04]: hey, let's go hang out and drink and hunt or whatever.

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_04]: Like, that's not cool.

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_04]: But if, like, I'm just a very, like, I love to learn.

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I love to better myself.

[00:18:36] [SPEAKER_04]: And I want to leave a legacy.

[00:18:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Like, nothing is more important than that.

[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_04]: But for me right now, I'm on this trip

[00:18:43] [SPEAKER_04]: where I just, I love Jesus.

[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, God has this plan for me.

[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_04]: And I know that the plan is to pour everything I can into my husband

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_04]: and my kids and nothing makes me happier.

[00:18:59] [SPEAKER_04]: And if someone wants to take me away from my family,

[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_04]: those people aren't really for me.

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's a thing.

[00:19:05] [SPEAKER_04]: I have this best friend that lives in another country.

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_04]: And we don't see each other every day.

[00:19:12] [SPEAKER_04]: We barely, I actually, I think I haven't seen her

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_04]: for maybe a couple years.

[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to say now, a couple years.

[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_04]: But she's my best friend.

[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_04]: But she does check in with me

[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_04]: and we'll leave each other messages.

[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_04]: And she is, and always has been my best friend.

[00:19:33] [SPEAKER_04]: She'd always hold me accountable even before I had kids.

[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_04]: But I knew that she's tiny and she's elegant

[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_04]: and she's gorgeous and she's classy.

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_04]: But she would kick someone's butt for me back in the day.

[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_04]: But she's an angel.

[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_04]: She's a strong, is it?

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_01]: And like this, and this is how I am my best friend too

[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_01]: is that if we haven't seen each other in two years

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_01]: and we finally see each other,

[00:19:57] [SPEAKER_04]: that it's like a notch in a moment when I,

[00:20:00] [SPEAKER_04]: it's just everything and it's like a soulmate.

[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_04]: Everything picks, and that's a blessing,

[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_04]: that's a friend that's a blessing from God.

[00:20:10] [SPEAKER_04]: It's like everything picks up where it left off.

[00:20:13] [SPEAKER_04]: And then when they send you the messages,

[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_04]: you really feel the love from behind them.

[00:20:19] [SPEAKER_04]: There's no guilt like, why haven't you called me?

[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_04]: We're both busy moms and we're both pouring into our children

[00:20:25] [SPEAKER_04]: and our husbands and our families

[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_04]: and trying to do the best for them.

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_04]: But I know we both love God and I just know

[00:20:33] [SPEAKER_04]: that she's a good person.

[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_04]: I feel it and I feel the care

[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_04]: and I feel the love and sometimes

[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_04]: but not putting pressure on someone just to hang out

[00:20:45] [SPEAKER_04]: or be with you or make them feel bad.

[00:20:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I just almost want to avoid people like that all together.

[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_04]: I do, I do.

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Now those are the stories of that.

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_01]: If you're gonna have friends those are the type,

[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_01]: you want in your life those are the friends

[00:20:57] [SPEAKER_01]: that you want around you.

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_04]: And they send you articles, well she sends me articles

[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_04]: on the things I'm going through and vice versa.

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_04]: We just anyway whatever.

[00:21:08] [SPEAKER_01]: And the ones that are gonna lift you up when you're,

[00:21:11] [SPEAKER_01]: because if they're like that when it comes to this stuff

[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_01]: when it comes to relationships and marriages

[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_01]: and family and they are championing you

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_01]: when it comes to that stuff they're going to be.

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_01]: It's celebrating your end.

[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_01]: There will be those same ones

[00:21:27] [SPEAKER_01]: that celebrate your wins as exactly what I was gonna say.

[00:21:29] [SPEAKER_04]: What I was gonna say.

[00:21:31] [SPEAKER_04]: That watch how they act when you get the little wins

[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_04]: and the successes in life.

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_04]: Are they cheering you on?

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_04]: Are they cheering your husband on?

[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_04]: Are they cheering your wife on?

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_04]: You got to watch for that.

[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_04]: And if you don't see that,

[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I was just listening to someone talking about this the other day.

[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_04]: And she was saying how that's how she cleans every year.

[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Because every year she has some kind of accomplishment

[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_04]: and if her people aren't cheering her on

[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_04]: and celebrating the wins,

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_01]: yeah.

[00:22:04] [SPEAKER_04]: There you go.

[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_01]: So I just looked at this up right now.

[00:22:07] [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I know I heard something about this

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was just telling you about it.

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_01]: You said you hadn't heard about it.

[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_01]: In 1997 Gallup Hold done by the National Association

[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_01]: of Marriage Enhancement showed that

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_01]: the divorce rate among couples who pray together

[00:22:24] [SPEAKER_01]: regularly is one out of 1,152 couples.

[00:22:30] [SPEAKER_01]: That's less than 1%.

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_04]: That's awesome.

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to talk about putting yourself in a good position

[00:22:37] [SPEAKER_01]: because the National Divorce rates

[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_01]: of basically 50, 50 right now

[00:22:43] [SPEAKER_01]: and of course if you live in Laguna it's like 70, 30.

[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_01]: So if you want to give yourself the best chance,

[00:22:52] [SPEAKER_01]: that's what you do.

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_01]: You pray over your spouse and you keep God first place

[00:22:58] [SPEAKER_01]: in your marriage and that's how you keep that marriage together.

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_01]: But you know and the truth is,

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_01]: and on a good note and I'll say this on a good note

[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_01]: is that it actually works the other way around too

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_01]: that if you keep good people around you

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_01]: you have a notice that like when they get married

[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_01]: everybody, all your friends get married at the same time

[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and when they have babies,

[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_01]: all everybody's having kids at the same time.

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_01]: It's like when you have those people in your life

[00:23:23] [SPEAKER_01]: when you keep good people around you,

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_01]: good things will happen around you.

[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Stronger marriages will happen around you.

[00:23:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Right and that's the thing.

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_04]: We have a friend that's to hang around you.

[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_01]: We have a friend that's lifting you up about your marriage

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_01]: and saying if you are going through hard times

[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_01]: or something, not that you're

[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_01]: spilling the beans about what's going on in your relationship

[00:23:43] [SPEAKER_01]: but if you have a friend they know when you're going

[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_01]: through something they know when it's a little hard.

[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_04]: And that's the thing is just check in with your friends

[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_04]: once in a while.

[00:23:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Just like my girlfriend she checks in with me

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_04]: but she would never say a negative thing about you

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_04]: or my marriage and I know that I can trust her

[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_04]: but she always checks in how are you doing

[00:24:06] [SPEAKER_04]: and she has this way of lifting me

[00:24:08] [SPEAKER_04]: because I tend to

[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't like to talk about my problems

[00:24:16] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't ever wanna be a Debbie Downer.

[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_04]: I'll never talk about it.

[00:24:21] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I don't like to do that.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I've gotten through a lot last few years.

[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_04]: I've gone through a lot but I don't like to let people know

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_04]: because I wanna be the person that comes out of it.

[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't ever like to...

[00:24:32] [SPEAKER_01]: But she knew she was going, she knew.

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_04]: And she could imagine anybody.

[00:24:38] [SPEAKER_04]: Just yeah, it makes me emotional

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_04]: because she's got a really beautiful heart

[00:24:43] [SPEAKER_04]: and she just like it's weird

[00:24:45] [SPEAKER_04]: because sometimes God connects to God speaks to people

[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_04]: and you may have this day that you're maybe going through pain

[00:24:56] [SPEAKER_04]: or medical stuff and all the sudden someone reaches out

[00:25:00] [SPEAKER_04]: and says, hey, how are you doing?

[00:25:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, I found this article and they just

[00:25:04] [SPEAKER_04]: they hate you at the right time.

[00:25:06] [SPEAKER_04]: That's God speaking through them

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_04]: because they're close to God too.

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_04]: So you wanna keep yourself around

[00:25:12] [SPEAKER_04]: couples that are championing their marriage

[00:25:16] [SPEAKER_04]: and they're pouring into their kids

[00:25:18] [SPEAKER_04]: just the people that you wanna be like

[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_04]: and you champion them back,

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_04]: by the way, for us that back and forth.

[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_01]: So you guys, when you go into marriage,

[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_01]: you have to go in with the idea that you're not leaving.

[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_01]: You can't walk into marriage with one foot in

[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_01]: and one foot out of the bathroom.

[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_00]: You gotta work hard.

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_01]: It's gonna be hard.

[00:25:40] [SPEAKER_01]: It's God loves marriage

[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and the devil hates marriage.

[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_01]: And he will find a way to get at you

[00:25:48] [SPEAKER_01]: when you're at your lowest.

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna find a way to drag you down

[00:25:52] [SPEAKER_01]: when you're not ready.

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_01]: He's gonna put people in your life

[00:25:56] [SPEAKER_01]: that shouldn't be there.

[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_01]: They're gonna drag you down.

[00:25:59] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's why I think that,

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_01]: and I believe that it can keep God

[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_01]: first place in your marriage.

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And you are in your marriage for good.

[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Like you have both feet in your marriage.

[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_01]: There's no walking out of this marriage.

[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing that's gonna take you out of this marriage.

[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You've just reserved yourself to the fact that

[00:26:17] [SPEAKER_01]: those hard times are something that you're gonna get through.

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_01]: You're gonna weather those, that storm

[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're gonna get through it

[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're gonna be better because of it.

[00:26:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's because you're constantly trying to get better.

[00:26:28] [SPEAKER_01]: You're constantly praying for the power

[00:26:35] [SPEAKER_01]: for the energy, for the knowledge,

[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_01]: for whatever it takes to get through those

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_01]: trying times that you're having in your marriage.

[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_04]: And you will come through a hard time.

[00:26:47] [SPEAKER_04]: And as I was saying, is that the kids were even praying

[00:26:51] [SPEAKER_04]: you were gone so early in the morning to super late at night.

[00:26:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And I don't think we both realized

[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_04]: what you were getting into,

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_04]: because you do consulting

[00:27:02] [SPEAKER_04]: and that's what I thought it was gonna be.

[00:27:04] [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't think you were gonna have to

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_04]: try to build a company that would afford up

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_04]: and deal with all these problems.

[00:27:12] [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, right now you're so blessed.

[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_04]: You have this, you're doing what you need to be doing.

[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_04]: You're at a different time of your life.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_04]: You're not starting a business from scratch.

[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_04]: But like the infant tap out days are done.

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_04]: And it was worse than that.

[00:27:25] [SPEAKER_04]: And I was just like, you gotta be kidding me.

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I see, I saw you maybe five minutes a day

[00:27:32] [SPEAKER_04]: in the kids for an entire year.

[00:27:34] [SPEAKER_04]: And we would pray over you every single day

[00:27:37] [SPEAKER_04]: and at the end when I felt like

[00:27:39] [SPEAKER_04]: I can't do this anymore.

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_04]: Like this isn't what I signed up for.

[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_04]: Well, because then God answered the prayer.

[00:27:46] [SPEAKER_04]: I was just going through so much medically.

[00:27:48] [SPEAKER_04]: Nobody, I was in a strange place.

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_04]: Nobody was checking in on me.

[00:27:53] [SPEAKER_04]: God's even when my mom passed away,

[00:27:57] [SPEAKER_04]: you're freaking people that you worked with didn't even send

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_04]: flat.

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_04]: It was just a weird situation.

[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_04]: But, but all of a sudden,

[00:28:06] [SPEAKER_04]: God opened the door to bigger and better things

[00:28:08] [SPEAKER_04]: where this is the consulting that you were used to.

[00:28:12] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you do the calls and that's what you do.

[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_01]: Your, I mean...

[00:28:18] [SPEAKER_01]: God, God will...

[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody's gonna go through stuff.

[00:28:20] [SPEAKER_01]: But God is going to...

[00:28:22] [SPEAKER_04]: The door is doors that are meant to be closed.

[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_04]: If you are close to him, he will end it

[00:28:27] [SPEAKER_04]: and he will open the right doors.

[00:28:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.

[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I believe that with everything in my heart.

[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_01]: So if you guys are going through something,

[00:28:36] [SPEAKER_01]: just know that there's, you know,

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_01]: there's always peaks and valleys in every relationship

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and everybody's going through something.

[00:28:44] [SPEAKER_01]: I know with this Instagram life,

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_01]: you can scroll through Instagram

[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_01]: and see all these marriage that look like they're perfect.

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_01]: And they're just not.

[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody goes through hard times.

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, everybody's going through situations.

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_01]: We all have our own stuff, including us.

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_01]: And I just...

[00:29:02] [SPEAKER_01]: I think that we're always excited to be better people.

[00:29:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I think I've never been in a place in my life

[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_01]: where I was...

[00:29:08] [SPEAKER_01]: I was more excited to understand you better

[00:29:13] [SPEAKER_01]: so that I understand myself.

[00:29:17] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's definitely all.

[00:29:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, how do you understand?

[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Well, because I understand...

[00:29:23] [SPEAKER_01]: I can understand what's going on with you

[00:29:26] [SPEAKER_01]: and it helps me understand like these,

[00:29:28] [SPEAKER_01]: these, the wheels of this me.

[00:29:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Or it's just me or is this...

[00:29:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Am I?

[00:29:33] [SPEAKER_01]: Am I crazy or what's going on here?

[00:29:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And then I realized, no!

[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_01]: Women sometimes just do this.

[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_01]: Like they just do this

[00:29:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and you're just gotta deal with it.

[00:29:43] [SPEAKER_01]: It's like if you have both feet in,

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_01]: it's about, you just know...

[00:29:47] [SPEAKER_01]: You're just like, okay, you just buckle up

[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_01]: because you've got...

[00:29:52] [SPEAKER_04]: I just wanna be seen and I wanna be loved

[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_04]: and I wanna be understood

[00:29:56] [SPEAKER_04]: and sometimes I need some help sometimes.

[00:30:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Like I just...

[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I feel like what if your load is big,

[00:30:06] [SPEAKER_04]: I wanna help you or if my load is big

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_04]: then I just want you to help me

[00:30:12] [SPEAKER_04]: and I don't want you to feel like,

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's...

[00:30:16] [SPEAKER_01]: What is word?

[00:30:17] [SPEAKER_04]: Like you were a little bit.

[00:30:19] [SPEAKER_01]: I know, you wanted me to mop the floors

[00:30:22] [SPEAKER_01]: and I was like,

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_04]: Why was that such a big deal?

[00:30:25] [SPEAKER_04]: That's your pride or your ego.

[00:30:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I wasn't that at all.

[00:30:29] [SPEAKER_04]: But my European family, like they took together.

[00:30:32] [SPEAKER_04]: They, I'm sorry, I apologize to our ladies.

[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_04]: I think this is what you need to look at it like.

[00:30:37] [SPEAKER_04]: And you've never cooked with me

[00:30:39] [SPEAKER_04]: but I would like to have you cook with me

[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_04]: because I really, you know, Daniel's interested in cooking

[00:30:44] [SPEAKER_04]: and I just want him to be able to

[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_04]: not have to lean into a woman to cook for him.

[00:30:51] [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I don't want him to ever grow up and say,

[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, I need to be with just the first girl

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_04]: like it's locked down because I don't know how to cook.

[00:30:59] [SPEAKER_04]: I want him to be empowered and I want him

[00:31:03] [SPEAKER_04]: to be able to have a nice clean home.

[00:31:05] [SPEAKER_04]: I wanna teach him all the things that my brother knew.

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_04]: My brother when my mom was working late

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER_04]: sometimes we weren't always in the store with her.

[00:31:15] [SPEAKER_04]: But he would cook beautiful steak dinners,

[00:31:18] [SPEAKER_04]: paprika, gulash, cheerca, paprika.

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_04]: She all these Hungarian foods.

[00:31:22] [SPEAKER_04]: He knew the recipes and she taught us how to cook

[00:31:26] [SPEAKER_04]: at very young age, cabitrols everything

[00:31:28] [SPEAKER_04]: because she wanted like nutrition was really important.

[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_04]: Her and cooking from scratch was really important to her.

[00:31:35] [SPEAKER_04]: We had beautiful skin while everybody else had big pimples

[00:31:39] [SPEAKER_04]: and stuff in school but because she made everything

[00:31:42] [SPEAKER_04]: from scratch somehow we bypass that situation,

[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_04]: thank goodness.

[00:31:48] [SPEAKER_04]: But anyway, he was nourishing me and I think

[00:31:52] [SPEAKER_04]: that that's a thing is I don't want you to feel like

[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_04]: or I'm doing woman's work but let's be proud

[00:31:58] [SPEAKER_04]: if we are nourishing our children

[00:32:02] [SPEAKER_04]: and helping them to be their best in strong health.

[00:32:06] [SPEAKER_04]: No, you do.

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_04]: You do.

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_04]: But I just feel like there was something

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_04]: that's not my home.

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe because you're the type of guy.

[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I was just like tough guy.

[00:32:18] [SPEAKER_01]: No, we just got that.

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_04]: Manly man.

[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_01]: I just wanted to hire a housekeeper.

[00:32:24] [SPEAKER_04]: I don't even watch my mom being so proud.

[00:32:30] [SPEAKER_04]: I'm proud.

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_04]: I want to do those things myself and I want my kids to see.

[00:32:36] [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, we have a beautiful home but I take care of it.

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_04]: I get it.

[00:32:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Let's get it.

[00:32:43] [SPEAKER_01]: We can do that podcast too but guys,

[00:32:45] [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to let you know that listen,

[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_01]: keep God first place in your marriage.

[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.

[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_01]: No, that you control your own destiny.

[00:32:54] [SPEAKER_01]: These statistics are fine but at the end of the day,

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_04]: your mindset.

[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_01]: You control your destiny.

[00:32:59] [SPEAKER_04]: You know what you want in life.

[00:33:00] [SPEAKER_01]: If you want your hair,

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_04]: or anything, any one sway you.

[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Can be my friend.

[00:33:08] [SPEAKER_04]: I come from a broken marriage.

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_04]: Something went wrong because my mom, as I said,

[00:33:14] [SPEAKER_04]: very honest, she said 27 years,

[00:33:17] [SPEAKER_04]: your father was the best family man.

[00:33:21] [SPEAKER_04]: I've ever come across and then something happened.

[00:33:25] [SPEAKER_04]: He started hanging out with a crowd and something happened

[00:33:30] [SPEAKER_04]: and it's sad because it was hard for us

[00:33:34] [SPEAKER_04]: and I know that my brother that passed away.

[00:33:37] [SPEAKER_04]: If my parents were together,

[00:33:40] [SPEAKER_04]: he wouldn't have had to feel like he took on this position

[00:33:44] [SPEAKER_04]: to be the father figure,

[00:33:46] [SPEAKER_04]: to bring in extra money by taking this construction job

[00:33:51] [SPEAKER_04]: and passing away tragically by accident just by accident.

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_04]: And I know things would have been different.

[00:33:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe, I mean, I don't know, I just have to trust God

[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_04]: and just be so, so grateful that I had them for the years

[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_04]: that I had them for.

[00:34:07] [SPEAKER_04]: We never fought one time.

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_04]: Do you know that?

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_04]: No. I've told you that.

[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_04]: I think I don't think kids that too.

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, I feel very blessed that my parents are still married today

[00:34:18] [SPEAKER_01]: and that I have that because I think it gave me a North star

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_01]: for my marriage.

[00:34:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Like I said, if I ever got married,

[00:34:26] [SPEAKER_01]: I was never getting into a divorce.

[00:34:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I would fight for this marriage and do whatever it took

[00:34:30] [SPEAKER_01]: to make sure that this worked out and, you know,

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_01]: whether we had us, you know, me.

[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I was, I'm always willing to go to counseling or whatever.

[00:34:41] [SPEAKER_01]: If I'm wrong, I want to be better.

[00:34:43] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I want to find, don't even like that.

[00:34:46] [SPEAKER_04]: You hate being wrong.

[00:34:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I know I hate being wrong.

[00:34:48] [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't mean I don't want to be better.

[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_01]: I just want to not be wrong.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be better.

[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_01]: I want to be better.

[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_04]: And I want everyone out there to want to be better too.

[00:34:58] [SPEAKER_04]: Please, please, please.

[00:35:00] [SPEAKER_04]: Just don't get swayed.

[00:35:01] [SPEAKER_04]: Don't just, you know, in your heart what you need to do

[00:35:07] [SPEAKER_04]: and just God will be doing a right job.

[00:35:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Keep God first place.

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you guys for listening to this episode of The Pretty Pug Podcast

[00:35:14] [SPEAKER_01]: and we will catch you guys next time.

[00:35:17] [SPEAKER_04]: God bless.

[00:35:18] [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you for joining us.

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_03]: We appreciate you for listening to the pretty amount of projects

[00:35:24] [SPEAKER_03]: if you want to see more, click the subscribe button below.

[00:35:30] [SPEAKER_03]: Also hit that thumbs up.

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_03]: Really helps us.

[00:35:35] [SPEAKER_03]: God bless.

[00:35:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Love you guys and you've worked nice and neat.

[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I hope that's in your life.

[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_02]: God bless.

[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_02]: See you next time!