Trick or Truth? A Deep Dive for Faith-Focused Families 196

[00:00:00] This topic might get some pushback because this is something that I thought I enjoyed for many years and I took part in it for many years, I think because everybody else was.

[00:00:46] Together we started a business and had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggles. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids and everything in between.

[00:01:01] A genuine leader isn't a social consensus, but a murderful consensus. Quote by Martin Luther King. Lead your own way.

[00:01:19] Welcome to this episode of the Pretty and Punk Podcast. My name is Dan Caldwell.

[00:01:24] And I'm Ildiko Ferenczi.

[00:01:26] And this is another great episode of the Pretty and Punk Podcast. But before we jump into it, I wanted to make sure that you are subscribed.

[00:01:34] We are a podcast for entrepreneurs with kids and you can follow us on Instagram at Pretty and Punk Podcast and TikTok and Facebook and YouTube.

[00:01:47] And all the links are in the show notes below. Hey, you didn't call me beautiful today.

[00:01:52] You are beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't say it.

[00:01:55] It's not a little bit.

[00:01:57] I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was trying to change something up. I don't know. I think I added a word and then it just took my whole rhythm off.

[00:02:04] It's okay. It's okay.

[00:02:06] So let's get into the podcast because this one's pretty important.

[00:02:09] This topic might get some pushback because this is something that I thought I enjoyed for many years and I took part in it for many years.

[00:02:22] I think because everybody else was.

[00:02:24] And what's interesting is that it took a little baby to point out that he wasn't enjoying himself.

[00:02:34] And the things that I kind of, I feel not numb to myself too, but overlooked to become a part of something and do something.

[00:02:45] The things that I didn't like about it, I kind of glazed over it and desensitized myself in my life to the parts that I didn't like to just focus on the things that I, that I did like about it.

[00:02:59] So I think, I think we're talking about Halloween.

[00:03:04] I just thought maybe you should mention that in the first part of the conversation.

[00:03:08] Yes.

[00:03:09] So what, so, so what we're trying to say is that we've decided not to officially not celebrate Halloween.

[00:03:16] And we haven't been for a few, we haven't been for a few years.

[00:03:19] I don't think we've actually, I mean, we've said, I don't want to do that, or we're not going to do that this year.

[00:03:25] We're not going to do trick or treating.

[00:03:26] We've said for sure.

[00:03:27] No, but for sure.

[00:03:29] For the last three years, we haven't been celebrating it.

[00:03:33] Absolutely not.

[00:03:34] So we're just actually putting it out there to the world.

[00:03:36] Wait, four years.

[00:03:36] That we're not celebrating Halloween.

[00:03:39] Yeah, we're not.

[00:03:39] We're not.

[00:03:40] Now this isn't something that I was actually like, I had a lot of pushback when you came to me with this.

[00:03:47] Like I didn't, I think I was so, like I'd had so many fond memories being younger, dressing up, making my own costumes and, you know, just being close to, you know, the certain characters that you were dressing up as, whether it be, I was dressed up as Star Wars a lot.

[00:04:04] So, you know, it was like being, loving those characters, loving those movies, you know, dressing up.

[00:04:09] It feels like it brings you closer to them and you're not really thinking about some of the other things that are involved.

[00:04:15] The terrifying movies and the terrifying moments.

[00:04:18] Listen, it took a little baby for me to realize that he's having a panic attack before we go into CVS or Home Depot.

[00:04:27] And I'm trying to tell him it's okay.

[00:04:32] Any other time?

[00:04:33] I mean, we're not going to take our kids around demons and witches and dead corpses and all these evil demonic spirits and visions.

[00:04:45] And then all of a sudden one night of the year, like, these are things I don't even want to have around my babies.

[00:04:50] I don't want to have it around me.

[00:04:52] And I, I'm finding myself saying, it's okay.

[00:04:55] It's just a dead corpse with its guts hanging out.

[00:05:00] Like, I shouldn't have to explain that to my son.

[00:05:02] He's not enjoying himself.

[00:05:05] And he's pointing out how truly yucky and evil and how bad this feels to him.

[00:05:12] And if I were to just glaze over it, what kind of mother am I to him?

[00:05:18] And then it got me starting to talk to other moms and starting to do some of my own research of why have I even been doing this?

[00:05:28] I'm, I'm choosing the sparkly things and the pretty things and the princesses.

[00:05:32] And those are the things that I would focus on.

[00:05:34] But really, I was just, there's a weird energy.

[00:05:39] You're doing it because I think the thing is, is that so many people do things.

[00:05:43] That everybody else is.

[00:05:45] Because they've been doing it.

[00:05:46] Because I did it last year.

[00:05:47] I did it last year and everybody is doing it.

[00:05:50] And I did it every year before that when I grew up, you know, but then you start to, to, you know, take a little bit of accountability and go, why am I actually doing it though?

[00:06:00] What, why is, why is this, you know, I think with anything and we do this a lot in our, you know, how, whatever we're doing.

[00:06:07] And, you know, does, is this furthering what I'm trying to do for my family?

[00:06:12] Is this furthering what I'm trying to do for my business?

[00:06:14] Our message, our fame.

[00:06:16] You know, and this is way a little bit off topic, but you know, sometimes we'll look at watching a new series, like a new series that's coming out.

[00:06:25] We're like, oh, let's watch this new series.

[00:06:26] And then we'll kind of like, you know what, but it's going to take time away from this and take time away from that.

[00:06:32] No, I haven't watched anything in so long.

[00:06:33] And maybe we should just not watch it.

[00:06:35] You know, it's kind of like that.

[00:06:37] It's, it's kind of looking at something and going, why would we do it?

[00:06:41] Is it making us better?

[00:06:41] Is it making us better as people?

[00:06:43] Is it representing who we are?

[00:06:45] And I think it took this little baby, let's not even get into destiny.

[00:06:49] Oh gosh, no, she's not going anywhere near this stuff.

[00:06:53] And, um, I think that the whole purpose of this episode is, you know, make up your own mind, be a leader, don't be a follower.

[00:07:07] And when I look back, I don't have one memory of my mom coming to trick or treat, not one memory.

[00:07:19] She hated it so bad.

[00:07:21] She didn't believe in it, but she didn't tell us not to do it because I think as a single mom, you don't want to take away the fun and, and you don't want to be the guilty one.

[00:07:31] And she, I don't think she had anybody to really lean into like I do today.

[00:07:36] Like all of a sudden I said, look, there's all these moms that just, they have this gut feeling.

[00:07:42] They just don't even want to have anything to do with the holiday itself.

[00:07:47] They don't want to have anything to do with it.

[00:07:49] And I think my mom didn't have that community.

[00:07:51] So she's like, I don't feel good about it.

[00:07:54] I don't like it.

[00:07:55] I remember she would pray over us before she, before we went out because she said, I just have a bad feeling.

[00:08:01] I just have a bad feeling.

[00:08:03] Oh wait.

[00:08:04] And you looked up that statistic.

[00:08:06] Oh yeah.

[00:08:06] This was really interesting.

[00:08:08] And it made me think of my mom immediately.

[00:08:10] Cause she would, I'm telling you, she would pray over us and she would want nothing to do with this.

[00:08:15] This.

[00:08:15] So my brother and I, we would go and we were only allowed to go in certain neighborhoods, but you still don't really know whose house you're going to.

[00:08:26] We didn't know everybody and everybody had that.

[00:08:29] Oh, that's the creepy house.

[00:08:31] Or I don't know.

[00:08:32] Anyway, you just honestly, you tell your children, do not take candy from strangers.

[00:08:40] Right?

[00:08:41] Right.

[00:08:41] Do not take anything from strangers.

[00:08:43] And, but on this one night we're encouraging them to go out there and potentially put their life in danger.

[00:08:50] I know this sounds, maybe it sounds too far fetched, but really things happen to these candies.

[00:08:57] Oh, I think since I was little, my parents used to go through all the candy.

[00:09:02] Oh, that's so stressful.

[00:09:03] That's so stressful.

[00:09:04] And you still never know.

[00:09:05] Cause a lot of those are twist candies, you know, that a lot of candies are just twisted up.

[00:09:09] Anybody could do that.

[00:09:10] And we, my parents, you know, they would use like their best guess.

[00:09:13] And sometimes they would pull out a few pieces because there was that, those warnings didn't come because something didn't happen.

[00:09:20] Right.

[00:09:21] You know, they came because.

[00:09:22] Could you imagine being the parent?

[00:09:23] Things that happened in the past.

[00:09:24] Can you imagine being the parent that did their best guess and their guess was wrong and they don't have that child anymore?

[00:09:30] I don't even want to take a chance.

[00:09:32] Forget it.

[00:09:32] Forget it.

[00:09:33] With fentanyl out there, you know, the fact that, you know, something like that could happen.

[00:09:37] You see people are just evil.

[00:09:39] You know, there's evil people out there.

[00:09:41] There's darkness right now that's not.

[00:09:42] And yeah.

[00:09:43] And that's really a big reason too, is that I think the reason I kind of like softened my heart a little bit to it is because there was, there's been a line drawn in the sand.

[00:09:55] And I really feel like there is that it's good versus evil right now.

[00:10:00] There's a lot of evil out there and a lot of evil going on.

[00:10:03] And not that there always hasn't been some version of that out there because, you know, Satan hasn't gotten anywhere.

[00:10:09] But the veils are being lifted.

[00:10:11] It's lifted.

[00:10:11] And what's interesting to me is that when I talk about this topic, because I have a huge moms community, mom group community that I talk with.

[00:10:22] And they were talking about this ex-Satanist that became a minister, John Ramirez.

[00:10:30] And I had, I didn't know who that was, but they just started revealing some of the stuff that happens on Halloween and how in the spirit world, the 31st, that's the, the veil is the thinnest.

[00:10:42] And, you know, I just, all these things that were talked about, I said, you know, I feel like that's just a confirmation.

[00:10:50] Maybe this, this really isn't a day.

[00:10:53] Maybe my mom's gut was right.

[00:10:55] Oh, that, the study, the study, hold on.

[00:10:58] Let's pull up this.

[00:10:58] Yeah, I think it's always been kind of known that it was a pagan ritual holiday.

[00:11:03] You know, it's like, where did Halloween come from?

[00:11:05] And the fact that we're, you know, celebrating it for good reason, I, you know, I think part of me kind of felt like, well, at least we've made it something good.

[00:11:14] But I hadn't really thought about how much deeper that could be that, you know, these all, and I'd heard a little bit about this, that, you know, the Satanists and the people out there.

[00:11:23] And they were thanking the Christians, thanking the Christians for putting their children out there on the darkest day.

[00:11:29] On this day, on their day.

[00:11:31] Yeah.

[00:11:31] And they're not going to be going to celebrate Good Friday or any of our holidays.

[00:11:35] So why would, why would those moms were saying, I'm, I'm just not going to be a part of that day.

[00:11:42] And they were saying how you're basically putting your children's future destiny on a demonic altar.

[00:11:49] I mean, go, go down the rabbit hole as, as deep as you want.

[00:11:55] But it just, honestly, I, I didn't even need to go down that deep because it gets really dark and it gets really ugly.

[00:12:02] And I just already felt it in my gut.

[00:12:05] And it just, as soon as I saw my little boy crying and scared to go into CVS, why am I going to do that, Tim?

[00:12:13] Why am I going to desensitize him?

[00:12:16] I will say, I, that's not what pushed me over at all.

[00:12:19] Because I was like, you know, not that I want to desensitize him, but he's got to be, there's things that he's going to come up in the world.

[00:12:26] Listen, go take candy tonight from every stranger.

[00:12:30] I get that.

[00:12:30] He doesn't have candy anyways.

[00:12:32] He doesn't eat candy anyways.

[00:12:33] That's the other thing.

[00:12:33] He hates candy.

[00:12:34] I mean, they've had, not that they haven't had candy.

[00:12:37] So I'm just saying that.

[00:12:38] A healthy version.

[00:12:39] Yeah, the healthy versions of, you know, organic gummy bears made with real green juice and, you know, things like that, that we've like purposefully purchased for them so that they can have some candy.

[00:12:52] But for the most part, our kids don't eat candy.

[00:12:54] They don't even like candy.

[00:12:55] No, they don't.

[00:12:56] They never ask for candy.

[00:12:58] It's just how they were brought up.

[00:12:58] So that wasn't, I don't think that was a big thing.

[00:13:01] And, but, you know, I want my kids to be, to be able to handle conflict and be tough in some ways, you know, be able to defend themselves.

[00:13:09] So I didn't want them to be scared of those things.

[00:13:11] I put those things in the, not, not hardcore stuff because I don't want them to also, you know, their children.

[00:13:16] But, you know, I don't want to be scared of that stuff.

[00:13:18] So that wasn't really a real factor for me.

[00:13:21] I think it was the religious thing for me.

[00:13:23] It was just like, there's no purpose.

[00:13:25] What's the purpose?

[00:13:26] If it's not bettering us, if it's not making our kids better or making us better, why should we do that?

[00:13:32] We can have them dress up just to dress up.

[00:13:35] If we want them to, we won't buy them a costume.

[00:13:37] And one mom that I really look up to, she said, there's no mention of miracles and God and Jesus.

[00:13:44] No mention at all on that day.

[00:13:46] So what are we doing?

[00:13:48] What are we doing?

[00:13:49] Let's really investigate what are we doing?

[00:13:52] Do the research.

[00:13:53] What are you celebrating?

[00:13:55] Do you have that statistic?

[00:13:56] Why don't you read that statistic real quick?

[00:13:58] Oh, yes.

[00:13:58] Because I thought that was interesting.

[00:13:59] So this was interesting.

[00:14:01] Dan, as a police officer, he pulled this up.

[00:14:03] Children age four to eight are 10 times more likely to be killed on Halloween.

[00:14:10] This is a study from Jan Pediatrics.

[00:14:14] Jan Pediatrics.

[00:14:15] Sorry, I'm sick.

[00:14:16] So I have a little stuffy nose.

[00:14:17] Keep in mind that that's, you know, that probably comes from a lot of different reasons.

[00:14:21] Like not only, you know, one of the biggest reasons are kids get hit by cars, you know, walking around on Halloween trick or treating.

[00:14:29] I mean, that was one of the things my mom was praying over me.

[00:14:31] One for to not run into any strangers that weren't right in the head, which is happening a lot today.

[00:14:40] Okay, guys, let's be honest.

[00:14:41] There's a lot of people that aren't right in the head.

[00:14:44] And we're going to send them out in the dark on a, geez, I don't even want to get into it.

[00:14:51] And kidnapping.

[00:14:51] It's a thing.

[00:14:53] Kidnapping, all that stuff.

[00:14:54] There's crazy people out there.

[00:14:56] There's people, there's the regulars out there that if you're out there, just happens, you know, drive-bys and other things going on in the world.

[00:15:04] People, gang members, you know, getting into it on the street with each other and stray bullets flying around.

[00:15:08] Officer friends are sending us just a little heads up about seniors that are just kidding.

[00:15:15] There's kids listening, but things are happening to them for no reason, just for other people's entertainment, which is pure dark and evil.

[00:15:23] And if this stuff happens more on that night, even just accidents, accidents are more prone on that night.

[00:15:29] So I just feel like, listen, do not be, because a lot of our family, they're still, I think we're probably the only ones.

[00:15:39] But do not, and I want my kids to see this too.

[00:15:42] Do not be afraid to make up your own mind, to be a leader and, you know, go to the beat of your own drum.

[00:15:50] If something doesn't feel right to you, you have all the right to say, you know, this just doesn't feel right to me.

[00:15:57] I love you and we're still family and we're still friends, but this just doesn't feel right to me.

[00:16:03] We're going to do something else on this day.

[00:16:04] And also a very well-known minister.

[00:16:08] Also, he was having a party on the 27th, but nothing to do with any of that kind of celebration, but a party where everybody could get together, have a little cook-off, have some treats and candies, but nothing to do with the other things, he said.

[00:16:28] So I thought that was really interesting.

[00:16:31] We have beautiful decor and, you know, words of blessings.

[00:16:37] But for me in my house, I don't want to think about death.

[00:16:42] I don't want corpses around.

[00:16:43] Like for me, I'm trying to do everything to breathe life into not only myself, but my children and my husband and my relationship.

[00:16:52] And right now that is the theme for the last, you know, few years.

[00:16:58] It's a breathing life into myself and my family, my friends, everybody around me.

[00:17:05] I just want to think blessings, life, light.

[00:17:11] God and Jesus is on my side.

[00:17:13] And if I can't, if it feels weird to like bring those things on that day, right?

[00:17:20] It just doesn't.

[00:17:21] And at least there's a lot of churches out there doing their own little thing.

[00:17:25] Yeah, I love that.

[00:17:26] You know, if like, if you're, if that's.

[00:17:28] And you can do your own thing on a different day.

[00:17:30] Don't, don't do it the same day.

[00:17:32] Do it on a different day.

[00:17:32] Go against the grain.

[00:17:35] Do, be a leader, be a leader.

[00:17:38] And, and, and for us, we want our kids to just be okay with saying no, it's okay.

[00:17:43] And that's a thing too, when people offer them candy.

[00:17:48] Sometimes I have seen my son take from friends, from family, take something sweet to, to be nice.

[00:17:55] And he'll take a bite and he'll give it to me.

[00:17:57] Mommy, I don't, I don't like this because his taste buds are just different.

[00:18:02] But he's okay most of the time to say, no, I don't want this.

[00:18:07] And I just, I want that to stay the same.

[00:18:10] When he's a teenager, then he has all this under his belt, knowing that he's said no.

[00:18:16] And it's, I'm not forcing him to do something that he never felt comfortable doing in the first place.

[00:18:23] Yeah, we're not sending him up the door to get a bunch of candy.

[00:18:25] No.

[00:18:25] That we're going to rifle through and throw away anyway.

[00:18:27] Yeah.

[00:18:28] So I think, yeah, if, if you can, if you can celebrate at, you know, if you feel like you need to do something with your kids,

[00:18:35] I'm sure your local churches have some sort of something going on, you know, hopefully not on the 31st and maybe on the 30th or the 28th or whatever the day that might be.

[00:18:45] 27th.

[00:18:46] But, you know, also too, I think if you're on, if you're on church ground, if you're on holy ground on the 31st and that's when your church is celebrating it, you know, that's better than, than going out.

[00:18:56] So, and a lot of these moms groups, I'm so sorry.

[00:18:59] I wish that I remembered, but they were just praying, praying over the world because as John Ramirez, I don't, I don't want to bring up too much, but you know, there's other forces praying over regions.

[00:19:12] And it's not, not the forces of, of God, but they were saying how they're going to be praying from a certain hours.

[00:19:23] Just look it up.

[00:19:23] Just look it up.

[00:19:25] Start doing your research and pray over the world.

[00:19:28] Yeah.

[00:19:29] Whatever you guys decide to do, be safe and, um, and God bless.

[00:19:34] And we will catch you guys next week.

[00:19:37] Thanks for joining us.

[00:19:38] And we hope you enjoyed this podcast.

[00:19:39] God bless.

[00:19:40] And I think the whole purpose of this is be a leader, do what feels right to you.

[00:19:45] Don't be caught doing something you just don't feel right doing anymore.

[00:19:48] It will come up in your gut.

[00:19:51] It will come up in your heart and just do what you feel right doing.

[00:19:56] Not everybody's going to agree with us.

[00:19:58] Some people will.

[00:19:59] I didn't agree with a lot of people for years.

[00:20:01] And then all of a sudden, boom, it took my little boy to spark something within me.

[00:20:05] And, uh, I want to breathe life and love into everyone.

[00:20:08] Thank you for listening to the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:20:13] I hope you changed your life.

[00:20:16] See you next week.

[00:20:18] Thank you for listening to the Pretty and Punk podcast.

[00:20:21] Please subscribe.

[00:20:22] We love you.

[00:20:24] We'll see you next week.

[00:20:25] God bless.